May 7, 2025

Absolute Sunday (Recorded Live On 5-4-25)

Absolute Sunday (Recorded Live On 5-4-25)

May The 4th Be With You, Because today we're Tackling fan e-mails, as well as the mind F*ck that's called life!! You never know what's going to pop off on a Sunday! Lets start the NEW WEEK off right!!!! If thinking of the up coming week doesn't...

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Spotify podcast player icon Apple Podcasts podcast player icon iHeartRadio podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon Spreaker podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon

May The 4th Be With You, Because today we're Tackling fan e-mails, as well as the mind F*ck that's called life!! You never know what's going to pop off on a Sunday! Lets start the NEW WEEK off right!!!! If thinking of the up coming week doesn't hurt..... Then This Might!!!!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/this-might-hurt-podcast--3239767/support .

WEBVTT

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Mhm, what's up everybody? This is a big holding your

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own hair, whether this might her podcast, coming to you

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live from wherever you want us to be coming live from.

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I'm bringing my co host, Lady G.

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Lady G was good, good evening ladies and gentlemen's.

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Yes, how are you?

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I am wonderful and you I'm.

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I'm pretty good. I'm pretty pretty good, you know, handling things,

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you know, not yelling and screaming, which is good.

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What do you have to be yelling and screaming about,

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I don't know.

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You know, the world.

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Yeah.

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Actually, actually, actually the dog was just barking. I had

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to tell her to hush it up. We were going live,

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and she just chilled out.

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Oh yeah, the world. That that's definitely something to be

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yelling and screaming about.

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Yeah. So, you know, I just want to let everybody

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know that we were supposed to a show Wednesday, but due

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to circumstances beyond my control, our control, everybody's control, Verizon

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had some issues that day.

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They had other plans.

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Yeah, they did, they really did. And yeah, I was

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on the phone with them like four times. I was like, listen, man,

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you gotta and they were like, now it's outers in

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your area, and I was like, all right, go whatever,

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so you know how to deal with it. So we're

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here now, absolute Sunday. Yes, how was your week?

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Uh? My week was awesome, wonderful, great. Anytime you know,

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I make it through the week, it's a wonderful, wonderful thing.

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So yeah, that's good.

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Well that that that's a good thing. That's definitely a

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good thing. Not killing anybody.

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Yeah, yeah, my daughter made it back from her senior

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trip in one piece, so that's you know.

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That's good. Yeah, that's that's that's great. My My week

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was was pretty chill except for freaking Wednesday that was

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that was disaster. But you know, we're here. You know,

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I'm not I'm not gonna I'm not gonna complain, but

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you know, so Simon Phoenix should be here soon. I

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don't know if if TG is gonna pop in, but

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let's let's just let's just get right right to it.

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Let's get let's jump right in there. Now. We're gonna

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start with an email that I got.

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Hey, guys, how come you don't send me any email?

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You know what? Actually, actually, let's do this, let's do

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this right now. Let's do this right now now for

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any of the fans of the show that oh all right,

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hold on, hold up real quick. All right, so we

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got a message from midnight.

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Thank you Midnight, We've missed being missed.

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Absolutely, and then actually Christina holds the top fan badge

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on the fan page. Yes she does.

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Well, thank you Christina for being so faithful.

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And then this is Heather saying hello, Hello, how are

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you now? Now, now, now that we're here, we're going

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to do it like this. Let's talk about this. If anyone,

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anyone wants to reach out to any of she said absolutely,

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this absolute Sunday. So absolutely anyone wants to be out

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to any specific host the cost of co host of

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the show, send send a send a request and I'll

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get you the email to that specific host and you

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can email directly. You can email the host directly and

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have conversation. You know what I'm saying. You can you know,

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ask for advice or an opinion for that specific host.

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All you got to do is shoot a PM and

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I'll get you that information. And you know, because what

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we wanted, what I wanted, what I really want to

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do is I want to get I want to get

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some some fans in here that can share their story

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and their experiences with us live. Right, So if anyone

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has a story or has experienced something, hold on me.

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Let one second. All right, what's up? You're good.

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He's frozen, Dubs is frozen.

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So, like I was.

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Saying, my arm so terrorists.

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Yeah, so yeah, you're frozen. You have to pop in

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and out. So anyway, so like I was saying, if.

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Anybody come get your brother, best friend me, I'm not

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I'm not playing.

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No, just hold on, hold on, So anybody anybody pants

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on you already?

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Bro?

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Who's he's that bad connection?

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Yeah? Your connection is bad. I'm outside, I know, but

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your connection, your your face is frozen. You're not moving,

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you're not doing nothing, So reload. You're good now, I'll

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try try try.

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I'm good.

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Nah, you're delayed. You're delayed.

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Relo alright, bet hold on? All right?

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So what I was saying, quick question? What's this? Quick question?

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You're sure it was a WiFi someone?

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All right?

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All right, all right, real funny, real funny, My my

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my WiFi. Bill was definitely paid. All right, my wife Bill.

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That's why he's in the car. He got homeless.

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Man.

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You're good, Yeah, it's working now all right, so let

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me get back to what I was saying. Let me

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get back to what I was saying. So what I

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want to do is I want to get some fans

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to come in here live. I want them to be

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able to share their their experiences, their story with us

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while we listen and give feedback. So if there any

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if we come across any fans that want to do

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something like that, just send the send a message and

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I'll tell you where to send it.

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Hold on, uh banners, they're scrolling across the bottom the

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information you you might want to, you might need.

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It's there. Anybody wants to come on live like like, yeah,

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right on camera with us. I mean, you know, you

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you could do you can do a little avatar or

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whatever it is. But if if you want your voice

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to be heard, you want to talk, whatever it is,

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let us know will get you on. You know what

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I'm saying.

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Yes, you could be like me, just a beautiful voice

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over the radio.

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Absolutely absolutely, just the picture you know what I'm saying,

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that's animated and all that stuff.

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Mm hmm.

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All right, so yeah, that's all right. So now I

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have I have a bunch of things that we're going

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to get to but but I would, oh hold on,

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oh you would, so you would like to share with

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us midnight if you if you really want to, just

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you know, let me know and we'll get you on.

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But anyway, I have I have an email here that

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uh oh, what's this?

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I can't read's fishing.

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Man. Look but don't blow up this heady the Christina.

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I don't need now. But like you guys been man,

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we took a little hiatus.

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Yeah. Yeah, everybody. Everybody's everybody's good man. Everybody's chilling, you know,

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doing all that.

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I had to heal from the uh uh I needed

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healing from you?

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What I do.

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Just being you?

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Yeah, well, I mean I'm not I'm not for the

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you know? Was that what I was?

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Wow?

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I lost the word I was looking for. Never mind no.

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Like, so hold up so real quick, let me get

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to this to this one specific this one specific email.

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It kind of Oh by the way, I went to

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go see Thunderbolts Thursday. It's a really good movie. Go

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check it out. It's it's it's got ninety on rotten

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tomato with means it's certified fresh. Definitely go, definitely go

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check that film. I've got some dark undertones. But it's

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a really good film. It's home in some stocks.

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I want to see The Centers, man, Like, that's what

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I want to see.

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I heard that was a really good movie itself. Yeah,

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I heard it was really good.

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I've seen a lot of people complaining that.

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You know, a certain you know, a certain group was

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complaining about why they wasn't represented the movies.

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But it's in the South nineteen thirty two of keeping

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it historical.

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So so I was like, the fuck you complaining about

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you know what I'm saying, Like, no, you know what,

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there's any Latinos in Mississippi in the thirty thirties, you

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know what I'm saying.

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If anything, they were like in Texas and California.

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You know what I'm saying, Like there was there was

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barely anybody, you know what I'm saying, Like you know,

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you know they complained about why Chinese people was there

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and whatever because they were there in the thirties.

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You see what I mean, Like like you know what.

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It was it was time accurate.

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Yeah, you know, like it was time accurate.

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So it's like yepp and you I don't know, bro,

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It's like it's like it's that complaining about I'll come.

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You know what I'm saying.

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There's no timber and boots in the seventeen fifties, see

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what I mean? Like it doesn't make sense.

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Right, So so real quick, let me get let me

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get to this, to this email. Right. So, how do

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you how do you find the strength to leave an

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eight year relationship when you're terrified of being alone? Okay? Now,

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I have been in a relationship with my partner for

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the past eight years. We've shared so much, so many milestones,

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every day routines plan for the future. But over time,

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the thing things have changed. We've slowly grown apart. There's

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a general sense of dissatisfaction, and our visions of the

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future are no longer aligned. It's not dramatic or toxic,

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just it's just quiet painful. Oh, It's just a quiet,

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painful realization that we are no longer the right people

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for each other. Despite knowing this deep down, I still

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haven't found the strength to leave the idea of actually

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moving out of being alone in a silent apartment, especially

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at night. It scares me so much. I know this

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relationship isn't right for me anymore, but the fear of

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loneliness is strong I'm not sure how to face that emptiness.

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How do you come to terms with it? How do

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you go from sharing your life so closely with someone

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to suddenly being on your own. If you've been similar

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in a similar situation, or know someone that has, what

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helped you or that person get through it, how did

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you find the courage to take that final step to

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leave even when the alternative felt so scary. All right,

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we're gonna start off. You got to start off with

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doc daughter.

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Mm hmmm. I don't know if I'm the right one

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for this one, but anyway, So, as I've shared many

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times on the show, I was married for sixteen years

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and it was very similar like the idea. The end

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was very similar to that, the thought of this is

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not where we started, right, We're not the people that

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we used to be. Our goals are not aligning anymore.

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This seems to have become a a roommate situation and

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we actually had children, and so I can definitely connect

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with that fear of the unknown for the future, the loneliness,

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the being alone. Okay, so what helped me get through?

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And I know we don't talk about politics, religion and

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things like that on the show, but to be totally

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transparent and honest. I honestly had to say I have

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to say that with all of the things that I tried,

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because I was alone, you know, there was no family support.

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You know, I just didn't have any of that. Honestly,

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it was allowing what was going to happen to happen

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and telling myself that it was actually going to be

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okay to not be okay, knowing that this was going

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to be a change. And I can't lie. I'm six

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years later and I have my moments where I think back,

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like would it, could have, should have? But then at

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the same time, remember there's a reason why you approached

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the situation the way you did that, you had the

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conversation you did that it ended the way that it did.

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But I think at the end, the thing that helped

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me the most was my faith, seeking out my spirituality

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because you know what a lot of people don't realize

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is spirituality is not just religion. It's not just attending church.

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It's also about finding out who you are now. Because

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I think what we failed to realize as human beings

239
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is relationships and people change, They change over time. What

240
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we needed when we first got together is not what

241
00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:23.519
we need later on in the relationship actually being honest,

242
00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:27.079
and that's a big thing. You know. There was a

243
00:18:27.079 --> 00:18:33.640
conversation that was had between a group recently about them

244
00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:36.680
having an issue and not reaching out to their partner

245
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:41.920
about it, and so they were recommended and encouraged to

246
00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:46.519
let their partner know what was happening, especially because as

247
00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:52.000
women were nurturers. And I don't understand sometimes why men

248
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feel that if they share their pain, if they share

249
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their emotion, if they share their vulnerability, that the woman

250
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:04.039
is going to feel put upon or the woman is

251
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:07.640
going to automatically feel like they are a burden. And

252
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:09.880
a man doesn't want to be a burden to his

253
00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:13.440
woman or to his family, right, And and the truth

254
00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:18.680
of the matter absolutely, yeah, yeah, and and and the

255
00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:23.359
thing is when two people truly love and care about

256
00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:26.759
each other, we can get lost. We can get lost

257
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with each other, we can turn into the friendship, the roommateship.

258
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But it's on both people to come back together and

259
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say this is where I am right now, this is

260
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what I need, this is what I want. And then

261
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the other partner comes with their same thing, and you

262
00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:50.039
guys have to decide together this this is this is

263
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:52.519
what's best for us, this is what's not what not

264
00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:55.839
best for us, and so what do we need to

265
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do now? Because it would be such a wonderful thing

266
00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:04.480
if both people could come to that same agreement that

267
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:09.000
maybe this is where we stop, Maybe this is the

268
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:12.599
end of our road. You know, everything doesn't have to

269
00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:19.240
be horrible, you know. And the fear of being alone,

270
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:24.480
of course, it's a scary thing to think about. Yeah,

271
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and everybody's different, so it lasts for a different length

272
00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:33.960
for everybody, you know, but sometimes you know, to be

273
00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:38.279
totally honest, I had to lose my sixteen year marriage

274
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:44.279
to actually find myself, to actually find the pieces of

275
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me that I had lost along the way that I

276
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:51.119
didn't realize, and I realized that the person that I

277
00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:54.599
had become was not the person at twenty something years

278
00:20:54.599 --> 00:20:59.000
old that got married. I needed something different, and it

279
00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:01.079
doesn't have to be a better thing. I I will

280
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:03.519
not sit here and say that sixteen years of marriage

281
00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:07.680
was a waste, because it wasn't. If nothing else, it

282
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:13.480
was a lesson. It was it helped me grow, you know,

283
00:21:13.720 --> 00:21:18.240
because in any relationship, especially to last a few years,

284
00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:21.519
Like the person who sent the email, you learn more

285
00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:26.000
things about yourself, and you learn more things about other people.

286
00:21:27.079 --> 00:21:30.000
And I think when we're young, we go into relationships

287
00:21:30.599 --> 00:21:33.440
thinking that we're gonna find what we say are maydia

288
00:21:33.559 --> 00:21:37.839
naranca and that it's you know, maybia naranka, the other

289
00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:40.359
half of our orange, you know, our other half.

290
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:41.559
Is that Latin?

291
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:43.119
It's Spanish?

292
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:46.440
Oh wow? Yeah?

293
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:50.359
Half not all right, you know what you know what

294
00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:53.160
Like at first, I'm sorry, right at first, I was like,

295
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:55.680
you know, like no, like listening to whatever I'm like,

296
00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:58.359
and you said something. I was like, oh, look at

297
00:21:58.359 --> 00:22:00.920
this one talking you know, like you know or the

298
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:04.160
Roman Latin. Let me find out that sophificated.

299
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:06.720
Did you not know this?

300
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:16.039
Jubbs, No, I'm sorry, go ahead, go ahead because like

301
00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:18.240
everything you're saying, you know, like like you know, I'm

302
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:18.839
not gonna counter.

303
00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:21.480
I'm gonna agree, but I'm gonna add your own stuff.

304
00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:24.519
Yeah. Yeah, And that's important too, because I think we

305
00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:28.119
forget that we as women feel one type of way

306
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.880
about the same situation that a man feels another type

307
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:34.799
of way about. But what happens is we end up

308
00:22:34.839 --> 00:22:38.279
not talking to each other because we're so afraid. So

309
00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:41.680
imagine this, We're so afraid to be alone. But how

310
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:45.200
about we're so afraid to talk to the person that

311
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:47.599
we're supposed to be the most vulnerable with and trust

312
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:51.359
the most, but we won't. So you either do or

313
00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:55.359
you don't. You know, maybe the relationship is still for you,

314
00:22:56.279 --> 00:22:58.640
but you haven't put your you know, you can't expect

315
00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:01.160
something from somebody else that you, yourself, are not willing

316
00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:03.839
to give, you know, So if you want somebody else

317
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:06.119
to be vulnerable, you also have to put yourself out

318
00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:10.799
there to be vulnerable too. But yeah, and the fear,

319
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:18.000
the fear of alone, Yeah, that's real, that's real. Especially, yeah,

320
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:22.799
especially when you have created a life together. You're losing

321
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:28.160
what you thought was forever. And so yes, that's scary

322
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:34.720
that it's terrifying, you know, again being transparent. Still, when

323
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:39.200
I got divorced, my fear was not just that I

324
00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:43.880
would be alone. It was more, I'm gonna end up

325
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:47.119
raising my kids alone? How am I going to afford

326
00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:51.480
a mortgage alone? How am I going to afford groceries alone?

327
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:56.240
And who's gonna love me? You know? My bed is

328
00:23:56.319 --> 00:24:00.759
now empty, and when I need to I have a

329
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:09.039
tough day, there's nobody there to comfort me. Unfortunately, in

330
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:13.400
my situation, it didn't matter because even when that person

331
00:24:13.640 --> 00:24:18.440
was here, I still don't feel that I received those things.

332
00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:23.400
So it was like, okay, but if we change nothing,

333
00:24:23.480 --> 00:24:28.319
nothing changes, you know, So we find ourselves getting to

334
00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:32.680
the point in our life where the situation is so bad.

335
00:24:32.920 --> 00:24:36.240
And and like the person that sent the email said,

336
00:24:36.759 --> 00:24:40.079
but I know that this relation is not for me anymore. Right,

337
00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:43.559
So if you already know that, who better knows you

338
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:48.279
than yourself? If you already know that sometimes drastic times

339
00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:52.880
call for drastic measures, and nothing changes unless we change it.

340
00:24:56.799 --> 00:25:00.880
Right, Because the person said that they're already known, right,

341
00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:04.720
See is that? And is that you know what? Like

342
00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:06.759
in their mind, they're already they're already breaking up with

343
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:11.640
this person, right, They just you know, like it's like

344
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:14.640
if you know what like like every like you know

345
00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:16.720
what one thing I noticed that everything is like an addiction,

346
00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:20.000
even a person, you know, like you're around the person

347
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:22.079
so long, that's an addiction.

348
00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:28.000
So when they leave, you know, you you know what

349
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.640
I'm saying, They're scared of that, you know what I'm saying.

350
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:35.759
The detoxing, you see what I mean. It's like I

351
00:25:35.799 --> 00:25:39.599
could I could compare it to and believe me.

352
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:41.319
And the reason why I'm making this comparison is because

353
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:42.440
I've actually been through it before.

354
00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:49.079
Right, A breakup is like your detop.

355
00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:51.160
You know what I'm saying, Like like a relationship is

356
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:55.720
like someone take a heroine or me popping pills, you know,

357
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:59.799
good times, bad times, whatever. And then when it was

358
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:03.039
and then when it was like over and said and

359
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:06.880
done with, you don't know what to do your detoxing.

360
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.640
You're going through it, You're going through the pains, you

361
00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:10.240
know what I'm saying. Like I went through physical pain

362
00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:12.400
like when I broke you know, like my last relationship

363
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:15.799
prior to this one, right, I didn't speak much of anything.

364
00:26:16.039 --> 00:26:18.279
I just cried. I cried inside a bottle.

365
00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:21.519
I cried to a bottle, and I started doing more

366
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:25.279
stuff to like not think of anything, like just numb

367
00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:29.119
it out, you know. Like but the fear was like, oh,

368
00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:31.799
I'm gonna be alone. But yet at the same time though,

369
00:26:31.920 --> 00:26:34.920
it was like I already knew time was up because

370
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:38.799
like I didn't because I didn't want to look at

371
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:42.960
you know, my toxic trade and nothing, you know, And

372
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.559
then like you know, I went through that and then

373
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:46.960
like one day I just woke up I was like,

374
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:47.240
you know.

375
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:50.920
What, I should take this time to myself and.

376
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:56.599
Really really dived, like you know, dive deep into like

377
00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:00.440
why I am the way I am? And I took

378
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:02.720
and cordel and now we will talk, right And I

379
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:05.960
told them I was like, yo, remember like every time,

380
00:27:05.960 --> 00:27:07.839
like you know, I was with a relationship, we break up,

381
00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:10.000
I'll like stress for two weeks and next you know,

382
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:12.039
I got a new girl. And just like you know,

383
00:27:12.119 --> 00:27:14.920
like I always had like a backup plan because I

384
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:18.119
was scared to be alone. I always had a backup

385
00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:21.839
plan always. The last time I didn't have one, and

386
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:23.559
I purposely did that. I was like, you know what,

387
00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:27.480
you knew what it was like. I was tired of running,

388
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.920
you know, because I because like you know what, like

389
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:32.839
I was tired of like trying to put my hand

390
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:34.599
up my ass on the stop ship when I couldn't

391
00:27:34.599 --> 00:27:38.240
stop it. You can't stop ship, so get your hand

392
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:42.759
out to direct them, you know. And it was by

393
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:45.359
the way, but but yo, you know what it is.

394
00:27:46.079 --> 00:27:47.359
It is you know what I'm saying. It is a

395
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:52.680
metaphor saying like, yo, I know what happened now now

396
00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:58.079
you know, at first I'm saying being a lone part,

397
00:27:58.119 --> 00:28:01.880
you know, like doodling fingers and know, like you start reminiscing,

398
00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:03.759
you start having all those you know, saying those you

399
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:05.559
reminisce about the good times when you try to you

400
00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:07.079
know what I'm saying, Like you don't think about like

401
00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:10.440
what led up to that point, right it's there, you know,

402
00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:14.319
like you start you know, like boohooing or whatever, and

403
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:16.599
then like, you know, because that's what I did. And

404
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:19.119
then like you know, like I would say, like two

405
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:22.039
three months in, you know what I'm saying, like the

406
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:24.920
weather changed, I started going outside.

407
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:26.759
I was ad, you know what.

408
00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:29.480
I'm starting, I'm kind of I'm kind of I'm starting

409
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:31.880
to like, you know, the idea of like I don't

410
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:34.119
have to answer to nobody and this kid and they'd like,

411
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:35.720
you know, like I was picking at the petty parts

412
00:28:35.720 --> 00:28:38.279
of it first, but then I started realizing, I'm like,

413
00:28:39.640 --> 00:28:41.559
I don't even like like like you know, like one day,

414
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:43.519
like I was at the pier by myself at one

415
00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:46.640
in the morning, head phones on right, looking at New

416
00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:51.279
York slight, little win and then it dawned on me.

417
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.559
Who the hell are you? You don't even know yourself?

418
00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:59.200
I would I would purposely get lost in other and

419
00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:01.799
other people because I was too scared to know who

420
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:09.519
I was. Because I was too scared, Like you said, fear,

421
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:11.480
fear will you know? Fear will you know?

422
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:15.400
Fear is a big motivating Fear will have you doing the.

423
00:29:15.319 --> 00:29:17.440
Most irrational things.

424
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:20.279
It's crazy. It's crazy that that that this guy.

425
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:22.599
To do that.

426
00:29:23.799 --> 00:29:32.839
Yeah, it says, yeah, male thirty one.

427
00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:33.960
Male like like like like, look, you know what, all right,

428
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:38.000
you know what? Another thing too, right, because because I'm

429
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:40.160
gonna put I'm gonna put the business out there. It

430
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:43.200
was me that that that brought it, that brought up

431
00:29:43.319 --> 00:29:45.920
to the group, and I was scared that I was

432
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:49.880
being a burden to my woman because and here's the

433
00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:56.279
reason why. So right now, I'm currently not working. I

434
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:58.680
got you know, I got to an accident four years ago.

435
00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:03.920
Still going through the litigations of everything, spinal cord injury.

436
00:30:04.599 --> 00:30:08.160
You know, like it's raining right now. I'm feeling it. Oh,

437
00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:15.440
I'm feeling it. And you know, like like it's gotten

438
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:17.920
to the point where like the like like you know,

439
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.279
like I got nerve damage and I got chronic pain,

440
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:24.440
like it's chronic. Like it's gone to the point where

441
00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:27.279
I'm seeing like a therapist for pain, you know, because

442
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:31.039
like because like you know what, pain really changes people, man,

443
00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:34.000
Like pain changes your whole outlook, especially with chronic pain

444
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:36.759
or whatever, and like and like you know what, like

445
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:40.079
it gets to the point sometimes where I literally want

446
00:30:40.119 --> 00:30:42.240
to jump out the window and break my back completely,

447
00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:46.559
you know, like it's it's that bad. And like I

448
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:49.599
don't talk about it, you know, like because I don't

449
00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:52.200
want to worry my girl and stuff, especially that we

450
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.160
have a baby upstairs. And then like you know, she's

451
00:30:56.200 --> 00:30:58.160
the one that you know, like like as of right now,

452
00:30:58.200 --> 00:30:59.920
you know what I'm saying, she's the breadwinner, even though

453
00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:02.880
like you know, I get you know, like workers comp

454
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:04.039
and and.

455
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:05.319
My veterans checked.

456
00:31:05.839 --> 00:31:08.480
But I feel as if, like you know what, like

457
00:31:09.640 --> 00:31:10.960
this is where you know what I'm saying, Like I

458
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:13.680
can actually say the toxic masculinity in me is still

459
00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:15.640
there because I feel like, you know, it's not fair

460
00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:16.559
to her that she works.

461
00:31:16.599 --> 00:31:18.319
She should be home. I'm the one's supposed to be working,

462
00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:19.720
you know what I'm saying.

463
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:21.839
I'm the one that's supposed to be like doing all this,

464
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:24.079
and yet it falls on her, you know what I'm saying,

465
00:31:24.799 --> 00:31:29.240
Like certain things like today, Like today, like I try

466
00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:33.000
to clean up and you know, you try cleaning up

467
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:34.640
after a toddler man, like she would just make a

468
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:37.279
mess on whatever. And it's frustrating, and like, you know,

469
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:43.240
I wanted to, you know, I want to, like you know,

470
00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:45.440
make sure you know what I'm saying, like make the

471
00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:49.119
house look clean or whatever at least and.

472
00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:53.559
Talents man, you.

473
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:56.160
Know, so like you know, like she like you know,

474
00:31:56.240 --> 00:31:58.400
she's cleaning up and like see his little stuff like

475
00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:02.200
that that makes me feel like I'm less I'm less

476
00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:05.440
of you know what I'm saying. And it's because you know,

477
00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:08.960
like like you know, like it's out of my you know,

478
00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:11.559
like it's out of my hands. But it's like I

479
00:32:11.640 --> 00:32:14.200
always refer to that if this was in my hands,

480
00:32:14.200 --> 00:32:16.960
this wouldn't be happening, which is true, but guess what

481
00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:18.960
those were my plans?

482
00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:22.119
God had other plans, you see what I mean.

483
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:26.119
So so like so I've brought you know, I brought

484
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:28.160
it to the you know, to the group and whatever

485
00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:32.400
you know about how like you know, like like this thing,

486
00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:34.960
this whole ordeals like really affected me and whatever.

487
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:36.640
And I don't want to tell my girl that because

488
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:37.640
I don't want her to worry.

489
00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:40.920
But she's gonna worry anyways, because you know what, when

490
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:42.799
she asked me questions, sometimes I sit in silence and

491
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:45.599
tell her I'm okay when I'm far from it, you know.

492
00:32:46.119 --> 00:32:46.640
And it's like.

493
00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:49.519
It's like, you know, what in the evor that we

494
00:32:49.799 --> 00:32:52.880
that that we grew up in you know, gihn X, right,

495
00:32:55.680 --> 00:32:59.799
we we came up and ever where crying was kind

496
00:32:59.799 --> 00:33:00.759
of round upon.

497
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:05.640
Whatever. You know, like you don't cry in front of people,

498
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:06.319
you know what I'm saying.

499
00:33:06.359 --> 00:33:08.400
Like it's like, you know, like you straight face it

500
00:33:08.920 --> 00:33:12.640
even if it hurts.

501
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:15.279
Right, And to this day, I'm trying to unlearn that

502
00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:18.279
because you know what, h this is.

503
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:20.119
This is part of the reason why like you know,

504
00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:24.559
a lot of us, like you know, for damaged. I

505
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:27.440
ain't gonna say sort of damage. No, we're damaged, you know,

506
00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:32.240
just from that alone. And you know, like I'm trying

507
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:37.319
to unlearn that. And and yeah, you know what, you know,

508
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:40.359
you know, my sister's on a podcast.

509
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:40.880
You know what I'm saying.

510
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:45.000
The game The game is like verbal spanking right as

511
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:46.440
to like you know, like while I'm not you know,

512
00:33:47.519 --> 00:33:48.880
like you know, and this that and the third but

513
00:33:48.920 --> 00:33:49.559
I'm telling them.

514
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:50.799
You know, I'm gonna say it again.

515
00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:55.160
I'm trying to unlearn that, you know, because like when

516
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:59.400
you're used to doing something for so long, right, it

517
00:33:59.480 --> 00:34:02.279
becomes part of you. So it's like now you're trying

518
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:04.920
to learn things, you know, because like it's it's a dawn,

519
00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:07.920
you know, it's a new day and age and er,

520
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:09.880
and you're trying to learn things.

521
00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:12.760
And sometimes like certain things is like I said, or

522
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:13.719
not you know.

523
00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:16.800
Right, and and it's and it's not because you know

524
00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:19.079
and and and you know what in a way it

525
00:34:19.159 --> 00:34:21.000
is because like I don't want to see as weak

526
00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:21.840
as I am.

527
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.440
But it's not, it's not it's not that it's not

528
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:25.719
that true. It's not that you're weak.

529
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:28.400
But the truth is, you know what I'm saying, at

530
00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:30.880
this very moment in time, I am weak, like I'm

531
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:31.920
speaking on it right now.

532
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:35.000
You know, Like so you you.

533
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:38.280
Feel you feel that that that you're you're weak. What

534
00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:40.960
what's making I understand that you you're you're in a

535
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:44.920
position right now that's making you feel less of right,

536
00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:50.440
but you can't control the circumstances at this point for you.

537
00:34:50.599 --> 00:34:52.599
But you also but also but listen, but hold up

538
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:58.440
but also you you're doing what you can as part

539
00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:01.440
of what you need to do to get things done.

540
00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:03.800
You know what I'm saying, Like you're you're doing You're

541
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:04.840
doing your part, bro.

542
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:07.800
I mean but see, but see, you know what the

543
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:10.760
problem is, right, The problem is right. And I don't

544
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:12.559
know if like a lot of men field this way

545
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:17.000
is that there's always like you always feel like you

546
00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:17.960
could do a lot more.

547
00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:21.159
Oh right, I don't know exactly how exactly what.

548
00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:21.960
You mean, you know.

549
00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:25.639
So so it's like, you know what what I'm doing

550
00:35:25.639 --> 00:35:28.320
with myself, I'm kind of playing myself because I'm pushing

551
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:30.599
myself to like a certain expectation and then I'm not

552
00:35:30.679 --> 00:35:33.079
beating it. So I'm getting mad at myself. I don't

553
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:35.639
know why I do it. That's a master that that

554
00:35:35.639 --> 00:35:39.400
that is some masochistic ship by the way, right, And

555
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:42.199
it's like and and and it's like you know what,

556
00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:43.960
like I end up like, you know, like kicking myself,

557
00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:49.480
you know, but but as a good but but you know,

558
00:35:49.559 --> 00:35:52.519
like you know, you know, like back to that day,

559
00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:55.159
you know, like I did open up and like you know, speak,

560
00:35:55.960 --> 00:35:57.960
I said what I felt because but then at the

561
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:01.079
same time too, is like it's like, you know what,

562
00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:03.039
like I can't speak for every male out here, but

563
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:07.320
I can show speak for me that Sometimes it's like,

564
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:09.800
you know, like we'll be feeling something. We'll be feeling

565
00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:11.599
like some way and we don't know how to express

566
00:36:11.639 --> 00:36:14.360
it because it like, like I said, you know what,

567
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:18.159
I'm so used to like you know, keeping it all

568
00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:22.280
a bout within that right, finding the words to you know.

569
00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:28.960
Speak on it. It's like it's like, let's call it.

570
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:32.199
Trying to you know, I'm saying, it's like trying to

571
00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:36.760
read Braille as a first time, you know, like it's

572
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:37.519
it's hard.

573
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:41.800
So but as of late, you know, as of late.

574
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:43.360
Like you know, like like you know, like I'll go

575
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:45.199
through the motions and then I'll think about it. I'm like,

576
00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:47.320
all right, you know what this is how I'm feeling,

577
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:50.480
you know, and then like you know, I'll speak on it.

578
00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:52.920
But this is after, you know, this is after like

579
00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:54.719
you know, I went I went through, like you know,

580
00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:56.320
the the motions of it.

581
00:36:57.039 --> 00:37:01.760
So so back to to to what I know how

582
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:04.480
you feel. I know where you're I know where you're going.

583
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:08.280
I know exactly what it is you're you're you're going

584
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:13.599
through because see my my, My take on this is that, look,

585
00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:20.599
I was in a very very very long really this

586
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:22.800
is why this, this this email kind of hit home

587
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:28.679
for me because I was in a twenty twenty two,

588
00:37:28.920 --> 00:37:34.159
twenty two year relationship and you know, I kind of

589
00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:38.360
it's it's over. It's been over for a long time now.

590
00:37:39.159 --> 00:37:41.840
And I had to do with this, with this dude

591
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:47.079
that's thinking about doing. I had to get up. I had.

592
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:50.800
It took me a while to realize that this this

593
00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:53.920
isn't it, you know what I'm saying, And this is it,

594
00:37:54.559 --> 00:37:59.599
you know what I mean. So the circumstances were a

595
00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:04.599
bit differ because I knew for a long time it

596
00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:07.280
was a rap, you know what I'm saying. I knew

597
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:09.960
for a long time it was a rap, and you

598
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:16.639
know it. And I and I stayed for different reasons,

599
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:22.719
and I I realized that I didn't have to, but

600
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:31.000
the father in me and the the person that that

601
00:38:31.079 --> 00:38:35.119
didn't have what I didn't have growing up, wanted to

602
00:38:35.159 --> 00:38:39.280
give what I didn't have to them. So I stood

603
00:38:39.880 --> 00:38:43.360
a lot longer than I was supposed to that I

604
00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:49.760
should have. And when I finally built up what I

605
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:55.519
needed to get out, I did and I came. I

606
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:58.760
came here and I was it was empty. There was

607
00:38:58.760 --> 00:39:03.760
an echo that was I had a I came with

608
00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:06.119
nothing but the clothes on my back. I had to

609
00:39:06.159 --> 00:39:11.360
rebuild completely. And not that it was it was it

610
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:18.960
was really hard because I understand about the silence and

611
00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:25.000
the the not not hearing things, and then the echoes

612
00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:29.199
of of of of what's out there and the silence

613
00:39:29.239 --> 00:39:34.880
and the anxiety and the pain and everything you whe

614
00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:38.039
one thing after the other, you know what I'm saying.

615
00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:41.760
And I went I literally went through that. I went

616
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:45.039
through that process, and I'm not going to front. Sometimes

617
00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:49.719
I find myself pacing, I find myself puddling in my

618
00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:53.079
fucking thumbs, like what am I doing? You know? And

619
00:39:54.440 --> 00:39:58.599
it's lonely, lonely, hold on lone hold. The loneliness is

620
00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:04.239
no fucking joke. Loneliness that that feeling and and that

621
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:08.679
that you get when you are alone and there's no

622
00:40:08.719 --> 00:40:11.800
one here to talk to. I have I have the

623
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:16.159
dog where she's over there somewhere by the way. She's

624
00:40:16.199 --> 00:40:18.159
looking at me right now with the side I like, yeah,

625
00:40:18.199 --> 00:40:22.679
I know you're talking about me, but yeah, I have

626
00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:25.760
the dogs. But I have the dog. But I mean

627
00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:30.760
other than that, I have my kids, I have my grandkids,

628
00:40:31.519 --> 00:40:34.119
and outside of that, you know what I'm saying. I mean,

629
00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:39.039
it's tough, it's hard. It's the realization of loneliness, is

630
00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:43.199
I mean, it is real. Yeah, the pain, the pain

631
00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:48.159
is real, and you can't you can't. You can't escape

632
00:40:48.199 --> 00:40:52.280
that feeling that you have inside, that emptiness you have inside,

633
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:56.880
you know, and you try your best to overcome that

634
00:40:57.079 --> 00:41:00.800
by filling your time with things. But all you gotta

635
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:04.880
come home. You gotta come home, and you gotta face

636
00:41:04.920 --> 00:41:08.199
the fact that there's no one here but the dog.

637
00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:11.639
I know, I know, just I know, I know you're there,

638
00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:17.760
I see you. But you gotta understand that loneliness is

639
00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:22.519
a real thing, and and the struggle to find.

640
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:25.159
The good thing there's also no there's also a good

641
00:41:25.159 --> 00:41:27.480
thing though, Like like, you know, I'm sorry to cut

642
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:28.519
you off, you know what I'm saying, but.

643
00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:30.360
Like, no, you're not. Can you do it all the time?

644
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:33.039
I'm sorry, but you know what, I'm trying to buy

645
00:41:33.079 --> 00:41:34.519
my tongue and I'm like, yo, but this is a

646
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:37.519
good thing, though, Bro, you come home. Yeah, there's nothing

647
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:39.960
that's quiet, but you're there's you know what I'm saying,

648
00:41:39.960 --> 00:41:42.599
but there's one thing that you got that you probably

649
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.840
that you know, like this person who probably don't have right.

650
00:41:44.719 --> 00:41:47.840
Now, is a peace of mind.

651
00:41:48.440 --> 00:41:50.320
You know, like it's a peace of mind because like

652
00:41:51.519 --> 00:41:53.320
it's silence, it's peace, you know what I'm saying. Like

653
00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:56.320
some people don't understand with how important a peace of

654
00:41:56.360 --> 00:41:59.320
mind is, you know what I'm saying, because like everyone's

655
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:01.880
so used to be miserably happy.

656
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:06.440
See it's out of all right, So peace of mind.

657
00:42:06.519 --> 00:42:09.320
Piece like I have. I have peace of mind, you

658
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:11.480
know what I'm saying. Like my my bills are paid,

659
00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:15.360
the kids are good, the grandkids are good. You know

660
00:42:15.400 --> 00:42:18.840
what I'm saying. The dog is chilling. I have, I

661
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:20.840
have piece of I have peace of mind, you know

662
00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:24.719
what I'm saying. But as far as far as far

663
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:28.920
as I feel like what I feel, you know what

664
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:31.360
I'm saying. I mean, I have, I built, I built

665
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:34.800
my piece up, you know what I mean. My piece

666
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:38.840
is important to me. And I'm not gonna allow. I'm

667
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:44.239
not gonna allow oh theo ho we got, I'm not

668
00:42:44.239 --> 00:42:50.800
gonna allow it's okay to come home to and and

669
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:55.519
that and that's true. It is absolutely it's absolutely true,

670
00:42:55.519 --> 00:42:58.360
you can come home and and still feel lonely, because

671
00:42:58.360 --> 00:43:01.480
that's what's going on me. Like I was, I'd be home,

672
00:43:01.519 --> 00:43:03.559
I'd be in a house full of people and still

673
00:43:03.559 --> 00:43:06.079
feel like what the fuck, Like like you know, I'm

674
00:43:06.119 --> 00:43:09.960
by myself, I'm alone. They're miserable, you know, and people

675
00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:15.519
people would actually that actually feel that need to go.

676
00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:19.679
That's something you shouldn't have to tolerate to to come

677
00:43:19.719 --> 00:43:22.280
home to a house full of people and still feel alone.

678
00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:25.679
That's what that that's that's part of the reasons why,

679
00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:27.519
like I knew, like it was time for me to be,

680
00:43:27.639 --> 00:43:30.199
like I'm out, I gotta I gotta go. And you

681
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:31.960
want to all you want to hear something funny, let

682
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:36.719
me tell you something funny. She literally said to me,

683
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:38.800
like I said, I told her. I was like, Yo,

684
00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:41.719
I'm out. I'm not going to tolerate this ship no more.

685
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:44.039
I'm out. And the first thing that came out out,

686
00:43:44.079 --> 00:43:45.800
you know what it was, Yeah, you ain't going nowhere.

687
00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:50.880
You believe that, you know why you believe that ship?

688
00:43:51.800 --> 00:43:54.360
She she looked at me right there in my face,

689
00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:54.800
she was like.

690
00:43:55.679 --> 00:43:57.360
I remember you told me that, And I was like,

691
00:43:58.039 --> 00:43:58.880
but do you know why?

692
00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:05.599
She said that why because of who you are, you

693
00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:10.679
did what you'd always done, so she she she knew

694
00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:13.039
you weren't going anywhere because you had done it so

695
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:19.000
many other times and didn't follow through, and so this

696
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:21.719
time she didn't believe you were going anywhere, and then

697
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:22.119
you did.

698
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:24.679
She just took it as an idol threat like like

699
00:44:24.960 --> 00:44:28.039
the times man, but like you know, but but you

700
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:30.280
know what, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna lie, you know,

701
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:32.280
like when you told me that, you know, you know,

702
00:44:32.360 --> 00:44:34.559
like I was like, I looked, remember I told you.

703
00:44:34.639 --> 00:44:36.960
I was like you sure you know?

704
00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:39.280
And he was like, yo, has to be done, and

705
00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:42.480
and honestly like I don't you know, like you know,

706
00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:44.840
like I don't like you know, like getting people's business

707
00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:46.800
and stuff like that. But I was like, all right, man,

708
00:44:46.840 --> 00:44:48.519
you know what I'm saying. And the next thing you

709
00:44:48.519 --> 00:44:52.480
know it, he was like, yo, I'm out. I said,

710
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.800
what stop playing? He was like, I'm out. He's already

711
00:44:55.840 --> 00:44:57.239
got couches coming over here, already found.

712
00:44:57.280 --> 00:45:00.440
I'm like, who whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa?

713
00:45:01.079 --> 00:45:01.760
Hold out man?

714
00:45:02.880 --> 00:45:05.440
You got what He's like, yeah, man about TV coming,

715
00:45:05.519 --> 00:45:08.599
And I'm like, yo, what.

716
00:45:09.719 --> 00:45:12.119
I'm said I was out, I was out.

717
00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:15.599
You know what, you know what, you know what, I

718
00:45:15.599 --> 00:45:18.840
was actually proud of you because like because you know what,

719
00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:20.800
every person you know, I'm saying that every everybody has

720
00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:23.880
a breaking point, right, and lord knows how many points

721
00:45:23.920 --> 00:45:25.639
you know what I'm saying, how many times you know

722
00:45:25.719 --> 00:45:27.920
you reached your breaking point.

723
00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:32.239
But you managed to like talk yourself out of it, you.

724
00:45:32.159 --> 00:45:34.679
Know, like fear of being alone?

725
00:45:35.239 --> 00:45:37.320
Yeah, yeah that too, that that that too, and you

726
00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:40.000
know what, like I never not once that I ever

727
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:42.039
be like like, nah, man, you're punking yourself out.

728
00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:45.159
Noah, you know what, because like because like you know what,

729
00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:46.639
in situations.

730
00:45:46.079 --> 00:45:49.000
Like that, you can't tell you know what I'm saying,

731
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:52.800
You can't antagonize them, you know what I'm saying. You

732
00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:55.760
just be there for them, like you gotta let them

733
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:57.880
breathe and like, you know, figure out, you know, like

734
00:45:58.159 --> 00:45:59.599
how like you know how they're going to make their

735
00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:03.440
escape out, you know. And that takes time too, you

736
00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:07.079
know because because anybody could talk about I'm leaving. You know,

737
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:08.920
in your mind you can talk about yeah, I'm out,

738
00:46:09.440 --> 00:46:11.719
but your heart is always gonna bring you back.

739
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:15.800
Yeah, but some people don't. But some people don't think

740
00:46:15.840 --> 00:46:20.559
about the fact that sometimes when you don't leave, even

741
00:46:20.599 --> 00:46:24.280
though you know it's not the right place, is has

742
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:26.920
nothing to do with that other person. It's because you

743
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:32.880
don't feel worthy, you don't feel like you're enough without them,

744
00:46:33.119 --> 00:46:35.400
you don't. And that's the and and not for nothing.

745
00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:38.679
I can't speak for for men, you know whatever.

746
00:46:38.719 --> 00:46:42.000
But but at this we go through that too.

747
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:43.280
We just don't say nothing.

748
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:49.239
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this is a good conversation, You're done.

749
00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:57.760
Yeah, okay. Being a therapist for twenty years, uh and

750
00:46:57.760 --> 00:47:04.760
and all the couples and things like that, I've seen

751
00:47:05.039 --> 00:47:10.239
so many different dynamics, so many different types of marriages,

752
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:15.000
types of relationships, and and the thing is, most of

753
00:47:15.039 --> 00:47:19.199
the time, the fear of being alone comes from someone's

754
00:47:20.199 --> 00:47:23.840
lack of feeling like enough, good enough, you know, like

755
00:47:24.840 --> 00:47:28.840
this is the best that I have had and I

756
00:47:28.840 --> 00:47:32.199
I don't think I don't have enough confidence in myself

757
00:47:32.519 --> 00:47:36.559
that I can do this by myself. When the truth is,

758
00:47:36.679 --> 00:47:40.639
I think when you can actually spend that time with yourself,

759
00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:46.320
when you can learn more about yourself, you actually start

760
00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:48.519
you actually start saying to yourself. Because I've even said

761
00:47:48.519 --> 00:47:50.480
it to myself A couple of times like how did

762
00:47:50.519 --> 00:47:54.280
they put up with me? Right? Because we don't don't

763
00:47:54.559 --> 00:47:57.920
We don't see ourselves the way other people see us.

764
00:47:58.599 --> 00:48:02.000
You know, we're oblivious who we are on the outside

765
00:48:02.039 --> 00:48:06.239
because our mind has always been our mind, and we

766
00:48:06.280 --> 00:48:09.519
don't see what other people see. We just see us

767
00:48:09.559 --> 00:48:14.079
being who we are, and it doesn't give ourselves an

768
00:48:14.079 --> 00:48:17.480
opportunity to say, but I don't like that person.

769
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:18.639
You know.

770
00:48:18.719 --> 00:48:21.400
I started to find that there were things about me

771
00:48:22.519 --> 00:48:24.760
that I was like, oh crap, I don't like that

772
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:28.880
about me. Maybe I should change that, maybe, you know,

773
00:48:28.960 --> 00:48:33.280
because I want something different. It's not for It's not

774
00:48:33.320 --> 00:48:36.039
always about the other person. Sometimes you have to sit

775
00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:39.639
there and say I keep having this and this and this, Well,

776
00:48:40.320 --> 00:48:42.719
how about you sit in front of a mirror and

777
00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:45.559
figure out why you keep doing or keep getting the

778
00:48:45.599 --> 00:48:49.599
same thing. There's something about you Like my marriage. I

779
00:48:49.639 --> 00:48:52.679
can't blame him, and I won't take all the blame.

780
00:48:53.159 --> 00:48:55.119
It took both of us to get to that place.

781
00:48:56.039 --> 00:48:59.199
So I can sit here. And we do that a lot,

782
00:48:59.440 --> 00:49:04.480
especiallys or minorities in general, we do that and we

783
00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:08.639
point the finger at all of the other person's shortcomings

784
00:49:08.679 --> 00:49:14.519
and their errors and their mistakes. But we're not looking

785
00:49:14.559 --> 00:49:17.440
at ourselves. What did what part did we have to

786
00:49:17.519 --> 00:49:20.719
play in that? You know? What is it about me

787
00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:27.039
that I could have changed? Right? And so it really

788
00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:32.480
is a good opportunity, especially because it's so hard. If

789
00:49:32.519 --> 00:49:35.679
we go through nothing, we will never come out on

790
00:49:35.719 --> 00:49:39.199
the other side. We spend so much time ignoring. And

791
00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:41.480
again we talk about this when we talk about COVID,

792
00:49:42.039 --> 00:49:47.519
how people have spent especially minority groups, have been taught

793
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:52.599
so long to not show emotion, you know, to kind

794
00:49:52.599 --> 00:49:55.679
of you. You know, a man can't cry. This is

795
00:49:55.719 --> 00:49:59.199
a woman's job, you know, like all of these old

796
00:49:59.360 --> 00:50:04.880
fashioned or at least old school, you know, uh roles,

797
00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:08.440
gender roles, right, And I'm and and I rather enjoy

798
00:50:08.519 --> 00:50:11.320
some of them, and so I still I still subscribe

799
00:50:11.400 --> 00:50:17.440
to some of them because I enjoy that role. However,

800
00:50:18.039 --> 00:50:23.559
we're not looking at how life has changed and how

801
00:50:23.599 --> 00:50:27.920
as we get older we change, we need different things.

802
00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:42.639
Life turns up tens. Let's not even go there. My knees, man,

803
00:50:42.760 --> 00:50:43.199
my knees.

804
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:47.599
If you listen, I got a lot of patches.

805
00:50:47.719 --> 00:50:48.280
I'll send you some.

806
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:53.760
No, no, no, it's good because I do know I

807
00:50:53.760 --> 00:50:56.159
can be long winded, but it just it comes from

808
00:50:56.159 --> 00:51:00.840
the heart. It comes from from the the experiences absolutely,

809
00:51:01.199 --> 00:51:04.679
you know, you know, seeing all of these different couples

810
00:51:04.719 --> 00:51:08.639
and the things that they go through, you know, as minorities.

811
00:51:08.719 --> 00:51:14.679
Mostly it's all about blaming the other person the truth.

812
00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:19.639
How thanks, Jay, I love me too. And the funny

813
00:51:19.639 --> 00:51:22.280
thing is, in my old age, I think this is

814
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:25.000
really the first time in my life, like these last

815
00:51:25.079 --> 00:51:28.400
couple of years, that I love me too. You know,

816
00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:32.480
I liked myself. I knew that I had worked hard

817
00:51:32.519 --> 00:51:35.559
to get where I am, but I don't think I

818
00:51:35.599 --> 00:51:40.760
loved myself, you know, And now I do. And the

819
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:43.559
funny thing is that loneliness that you're afraid of, the

820
00:51:43.960 --> 00:51:46.760
fear of being alone, that you're afraid of what I

821
00:51:46.800 --> 00:51:50.320
have found. And this is both men and women. When

822
00:51:50.360 --> 00:51:54.840
you start to love you and see all the good,

823
00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:59.119
be compassionate to yourself and give yourself credit not for

824
00:51:59.159 --> 00:52:02.239
the things you didn't accomplished, but the things that you've

825
00:52:02.280 --> 00:52:05.480
come through, the things that you have accomplished, all of

826
00:52:05.519 --> 00:52:09.719
the hard hills you have climbed. Right when you can

827
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:13.440
sit back and actually take stock of that, you start

828
00:52:13.480 --> 00:52:17.320
to realize your value, your worth, and then it becomes

829
00:52:17.400 --> 00:52:24.079
so much easier to not choose the same type of people.

830
00:52:24.679 --> 00:52:26.360
Real quick, let me let me share this story. It's

831
00:52:26.360 --> 00:52:28.679
a good example of that. This morning this.

832
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:34.920
V oh wait, wait, wait, wait wait, let me marshmallows.

833
00:52:35.519 --> 00:52:41.239
Oh my gosh, this very morning. Okay, I got a

834
00:52:41.320 --> 00:52:45.159
text from somebody I had not heard from in months.

835
00:52:46.599 --> 00:52:53.440
Your Oh no, no, no no. I honestly don't think

836
00:52:53.440 --> 00:52:58.039
I will ever hear from him again. But that's okay,

837
00:52:58.559 --> 00:53:03.280
I'll stop. So anyway, this person contacted me and they

838
00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:06.440
had ghosted me, right like it was just one day

839
00:53:06.440 --> 00:53:08.920
they were here, the next day they were gone. And

840
00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:10.599
it got to a point in my life like I've

841
00:53:10.599 --> 00:53:14.000
been single six years now, I haven't, you know, since

842
00:53:14.039 --> 00:53:17.480
my divorce, I haven't had a relationship, you know, And

843
00:53:19.960 --> 00:53:22.639
so I've gone on dating sides. You know, I've tried.

844
00:53:22.760 --> 00:53:25.480
It's just the funny thing is, as I got to

845
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:29.000
know myself better, as I got to realize what my

846
00:53:29.159 --> 00:53:32.480
value was and that I don't have to wait for

847
00:53:32.559 --> 00:53:35.719
other people to validate me to actually be valuable, right,

848
00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:38.840
So I learned that, you know, a lot. After twenty

849
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:42.280
years of being a marriage and family therapist, I was

850
00:53:42.360 --> 00:53:44.760
finally doing the work on myself that I have been

851
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:48.280
helping other people to do, and so this person contact me.

852
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:52.079
And the funny thing was, I wasn't even mad. I

853
00:53:52.199 --> 00:53:56.559
wasn't even mad. My usual thing is kick rocks, lose

854
00:53:56.639 --> 00:54:00.119
my number, you know whatever. The anger the anger that

855
00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:04.599
people would do that. And the funny thing was he

856
00:54:04.639 --> 00:54:06.480
actually said to me, he says, you know what, I

857
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:09.960
didn't think you were gonna answer me. And I was like,

858
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:13.599
uh yeah, because I realized that's who I am. I

859
00:54:13.599 --> 00:54:18.079
will always answer if somebody is is contacting me, I

860
00:54:18.119 --> 00:54:24.320
will always answer. But there was a difference. So, you know,

861
00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:26.039
we talked for a couple of minutes back and forth,

862
00:54:26.079 --> 00:54:27.480
and then he's like, oh, so I can take you

863
00:54:27.519 --> 00:54:30.880
out to dinner. And if he's listening right now, you know,

864
00:54:33.079 --> 00:54:35.719
I appreciate the opportunity to be able to discuss this.

865
00:54:35.800 --> 00:54:38.559
If he's listening right now, how big brothers, you ain't

866
00:54:38.599 --> 00:54:43.800
taking how to funck nowhere? Bro, you shot and messed up.

867
00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:49.599
All right, But I right now you already know what

868
00:54:49.639 --> 00:54:50.280
time it is. Man.

869
00:54:50.880 --> 00:54:52.719
My trunk space is huge. That's all I gotta say.

870
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:56.960
And I gotta shovel on the back. You know, you

871
00:54:57.000 --> 00:54:59.000
know what Earth Day comes around once a year, but

872
00:54:59.039 --> 00:55:00.760
it may come around twice, if you know what I mean.

873
00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:09.760
Oh goshop, I feel so special. So anyway, and he

874
00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:11.760
was like, so I can still take you out and

875
00:55:11.800 --> 00:55:13.400
blah blah blah. And I was like, you know what,

876
00:55:13.800 --> 00:55:15.800
if that's what you want to do, I'm open to that.

877
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:20.599
I am open to whatever, I said. And he was like,

878
00:55:20.880 --> 00:55:24.360
so it's a date, and I was actually I wrote back,

879
00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:26.840
I said, oh no, no, no, I'm sorry. I would

880
00:55:27.079 --> 00:55:30.039
you know, I can always use friends, you know, because

881
00:55:30.079 --> 00:55:33.760
that keeps that boredom, that loneliness away, when you have

882
00:55:33.920 --> 00:55:36.000
people that you can hang out with, go out with,

883
00:55:36.599 --> 00:55:39.039
have new adventures with. I said. But no, no, no,

884
00:55:39.079 --> 00:55:41.599
don't get me messed up. No, it won't be a date,

885
00:55:42.159 --> 00:55:47.039
I said, because you had that opportunity and you totally

886
00:55:47.079 --> 00:55:50.159
let it slip through your fingers. So I don't look back,

887
00:55:50.400 --> 00:55:53.079
you know. Again, not trying to get religious, But when

888
00:55:53.800 --> 00:55:57.320
Lot was told to leave and don't look back, his

889
00:55:57.400 --> 00:56:01.000
wife looked back and turned and turned into ault. Let

890
00:56:01.039 --> 00:56:03.480
me tell you something, I'm not gonna be no pillar assault.

891
00:56:04.079 --> 00:56:06.800
If God wanted this person in my life, he would

892
00:56:06.800 --> 00:56:09.159
have stayed in my life. So yeah, we can hang

893
00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:11.840
out we could kick it. We can talk on the phone, text,

894
00:56:11.880 --> 00:56:15.519
do whatever you like, because I can always use good friends,

895
00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:19.239
you know, and he seemed like a good guy. But

896
00:56:20.440 --> 00:56:22.679
I need someone I can depend on, I can I

897
00:56:22.719 --> 00:56:26.440
need someone I can trust. And you've already, unfortunately, you've

898
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:29.800
already shown me that I can't depend or trust that

899
00:56:29.840 --> 00:56:35.599
you're one stick around to do or stand on what

900
00:56:35.760 --> 00:56:39.480
a man needs to do or stand on. And I

901
00:56:39.559 --> 00:56:44.639
know my value, and my value is not to recycle,

902
00:56:46.320 --> 00:56:50.840
you know, old situations, because then you're just staying in

903
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:54.119
the same pool and getting dirty. And a saying that

904
00:56:54.199 --> 00:56:57.639
I found actually when I first got a divorce, it says,

905
00:56:57.639 --> 00:57:01.480
when you give someone a second chance, it's like giving

906
00:57:01.519 --> 00:57:08.119
them a gun, And it's like that because you're giving

907
00:57:08.119 --> 00:57:11.880
them the opportunity to shoot you a second time because

908
00:57:11.920 --> 00:57:17.599
the first bullet didn't kill you. So as women, I

909
00:57:17.639 --> 00:57:21.800
can't speak a man experience, but as a woman, every

910
00:57:21.960 --> 00:57:25.039
time we allow someone not to let us down, because

911
00:57:25.039 --> 00:57:27.440
people disappoint us and let us down all the time.

912
00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:32.920
But when you allow someone to disrespect you, minimize your value,

913
00:57:33.480 --> 00:57:38.639
make you feel less then and then you continue to

914
00:57:38.760 --> 00:57:42.960
play that same record again because they change the tune

915
00:57:43.119 --> 00:57:48.239
you're basically giving yourself another ride on a horse that's

916
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:50.800
just gonna throw you off and you're gonna break the

917
00:57:50.840 --> 00:57:55.519
other leg. So I got to a point in my

918
00:57:55.559 --> 00:57:57.719
life where it says, I'm not gonna do that to myself.

919
00:57:58.199 --> 00:58:00.960
You seem like a nice person, You're cool and everything,

920
00:58:01.400 --> 00:58:03.320
but when it comes to what I need in my

921
00:58:03.400 --> 00:58:07.920
life as a partner, you already showed me that I

922
00:58:07.960 --> 00:58:12.719
can't depend on you as a partner. So I can't

923
00:58:12.719 --> 00:58:16.000
do that to myself because when things really really get hard,

924
00:58:16.039 --> 00:58:20.400
you already showed me that you're gonna run away. You know.

925
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:24.960
And for all the guys out there who you know,

926
00:58:25.719 --> 00:58:27.719
they tell their women I need to deal with this

927
00:58:27.840 --> 00:58:29.559
on my own because they say they don't want to

928
00:58:29.599 --> 00:58:31.559
be a burden, and I'm and Dubbs, I'm talking about

929
00:58:31.559 --> 00:58:34.880
people who really don't feel that way. They just use

930
00:58:34.960 --> 00:58:37.639
those words idly. I don't want to be a burden

931
00:58:37.679 --> 00:58:41.639
on you because they know that's the excuse. It's exactly that.

932
00:58:41.679 --> 00:58:46.119
It's an excuse, because the truth is any man, and

933
00:58:46.159 --> 00:58:48.960
I've seen it so many times, I just want my peace.

934
00:58:49.360 --> 00:58:51.679
I just want a woman who's loyal. I want a

935
00:58:51.719 --> 00:58:56.239
person who can love me and who can be my peace? Right, No,

936
00:58:56.559 --> 00:58:59.440
you don't really want that, because if.

937
00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:04.679
You really want huh, you know you know what what

938
00:59:04.760 --> 00:59:06.159
you were saying right now? You know what I'm saying,

939
00:59:06.199 --> 00:59:08.039
Like like, yes, you know what I'm saying. That's what

940
00:59:08.280 --> 00:59:11.599
dudes be saying. And I was like, meanwhile, back at

941
00:59:11.599 --> 00:59:16.639
the ranch, yeah, everything that's opposite of Yes, yes, it's

942
00:59:16.639 --> 00:59:18.559
called being narcissistic, by the way, and I used to

943
00:59:18.599 --> 00:59:19.320
do that like crazy.

944
00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:24.000
I just but there's all right, there's a way to

945
00:59:24.119 --> 00:59:27.039
handle the situation though, you know what I'm saying that.

946
00:59:29.079 --> 00:59:30.840
But then you know what, like I had others in the.

947
00:59:30.840 --> 00:59:35.199
Stables, yes, exactly, exactly, you got somebody in the wings.

948
00:59:35.599 --> 00:59:38.440
So I had to learn. I had to learn to say,

949
00:59:38.679 --> 00:59:42.679
I'm sorry, but I am not a placeholder. I am

950
00:59:42.679 --> 00:59:46.559
not a placeholder until something better comes along. I'm actually

951
00:59:46.920 --> 00:59:57.199
the whole meal and the dessert. Okay. Ten, I'm attend

952
00:59:57.280 --> 00:59:59.480
in different ways than other women.

953
01:00:00.280 --> 01:00:07.079
Out of ton what out a ton? Yeah, thirty for thirty.

954
01:00:07.239 --> 01:00:12.000
Okay, until you project peace, yes, And a lot of

955
01:00:12.039 --> 01:00:14.760
times we call what we put out into the world.

956
01:00:14.840 --> 01:00:15.039
Right.

957
01:00:15.559 --> 01:00:18.199
So I also realized that one of the reasons why

958
01:00:18.239 --> 01:00:25.320
I was attracting broken, emotionally unavailable men is because I

959
01:00:25.400 --> 01:00:29.039
am so loving and so caring and so forgiving. I

960
01:00:29.199 --> 01:00:34.119
am that that piece, that so called peace that men

961
01:00:34.159 --> 01:00:38.360
are looking for. But the problem is, I need you

962
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:40.440
to be at peace when you come to me, just

963
01:00:40.440 --> 01:00:42.360
like I need to be at peace when I come

964
01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:46.599
to you. We can have our hurts, we can have

965
01:00:46.679 --> 01:00:49.760
our pains, we can have our luggage right, our baggage.

966
01:00:50.440 --> 01:00:54.400
But the thing is, I'm not the person who cuts you,

967
01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:58.239
so you can't bleed on me. Ad.

968
01:00:58.519 --> 01:01:02.119
Yo's that's a dying right there. You just dropped some

969
01:01:02.599 --> 01:01:03.960
dropping bonds, son.

970
01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:08.000
Real like you know what, you know what.

971
01:01:08.039 --> 01:01:11.639
That's like the equivalent of saying like you know, like

972
01:01:11.679 --> 01:01:14.400
you know like sometimes sometimes you know, like back then

973
01:01:14.440 --> 01:01:17.440
nights to tell like certain females. So I was like,

974
01:01:17.480 --> 01:01:19.519
why are you treating that? Jesus Christ is like excuse me?

975
01:01:19.679 --> 01:01:21.360
I was like, why am I being crucified for another

976
01:01:21.400 --> 01:01:22.000
man's sins?

977
01:01:23.960 --> 01:01:26.480
Unfortunately, because the world that we live in right now,

978
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:31.039
we keep complaining about other people's sins, but we're not

979
01:01:31.199 --> 01:01:33.840
fixing it right. So it's the eye the eye for

980
01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:37.119
an eye we're in, that canceled eye for an eye right.

981
01:01:37.559 --> 01:01:40.159
So you got guys out here who want somebody who's

982
01:01:40.239 --> 01:01:43.960
loyal some and even women. I want loyalty. I want this,

983
01:01:44.039 --> 01:01:47.760
I want that. I want somebody cooks, cleans all this stuff. Okay, bro,

984
01:01:48.039 --> 01:01:52.079
what are you offering that? Are you offering that? No?

985
01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:55.280
So when somebody tells me I'm too much, I'm like,

986
01:01:55.320 --> 01:01:58.199
you know what, that's okay, you can go get less

987
01:01:58.719 --> 01:02:02.480
because I'm not asking any anything from you. I'm not

988
01:02:02.599 --> 01:02:05.159
asking nothing from you that you are not going to

989
01:02:05.239 --> 01:02:10.639
receive from me. So I want somebody who's going to

990
01:02:10.719 --> 01:02:15.400
stand on their word. In my case, the person has

991
01:02:15.440 --> 01:02:18.920
to have a relationship with God, not just knowing. But

992
01:02:18.960 --> 01:02:22.800
that's my personal thing. But it's like, you can't be

993
01:02:23.000 --> 01:02:26.320
asking for something when you're not giving that same thing.

994
01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:31.239
They want women to stop being in their masculine energy. Well,

995
01:02:31.280 --> 01:02:34.880
if I had a man who was helping me, I

996
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:37.639
wouldn't have to be. But when I've had to do

997
01:02:37.719 --> 01:02:40.719
all of this stuff by myself, even when I was married.

998
01:02:42.239 --> 01:02:45.960
When I have to do all of these things by myself,

999
01:02:46.800 --> 01:02:49.480
I have to act like a man. So how are

1000
01:02:49.519 --> 01:02:52.840
you getting mad at me because you're not being the man?

1001
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:54.679
I have to be.

1002
01:02:54.679 --> 01:02:57.760
Both that that's a problem.

1003
01:02:58.119 --> 01:02:58.480
It is.

1004
01:02:59.199 --> 01:03:01.679
So I had to learn that if I don't change

1005
01:03:01.760 --> 01:03:05.599
my acceptance, if I don't change who I let into

1006
01:03:05.639 --> 01:03:08.559
my life, then I'm never going to change that dynamic.

1007
01:03:09.599 --> 01:03:11.760
So when a guy says to me, oh, you expect

1008
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:13.880
me to pay, yes, I do, because if you want

1009
01:03:13.920 --> 01:03:16.800
me to be the lady and to be on your arm,

1010
01:03:18.159 --> 01:03:19.840
how am I going to be on your arm when

1011
01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:23.719
I got to pay for your meals? It has nothing

1012
01:03:23.800 --> 01:03:27.119
to do. It has nothing to do with me being

1013
01:03:27.159 --> 01:03:31.400
in your pockets, right, and nothing at all, because I

1014
01:03:31.480 --> 01:03:35.840
also gladly cook you that meal because you cut my grass.

1015
01:03:36.159 --> 01:03:40.079
I'll kiss you and and bring you water outside because

1016
01:03:40.079 --> 01:03:44.480
you're taking care of and keeping me safe, you know,

1017
01:03:44.719 --> 01:03:47.199
like it's it's a it's a reciprocal it's a given,

1018
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:51.639
a take, not a take take take right when we

1019
01:03:51.719 --> 01:03:54.639
talk about this stuff all the time, some.

1020
01:03:56.239 --> 01:04:01.599
Right, I'm sorry like speaking because like me, like I

1021
01:04:01.639 --> 01:04:06.800
feel off and weird when you know, like for instance,

1022
01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:09.760
my girlfriend pays for me, like it just feels like

1023
01:04:09.760 --> 01:04:12.480
like like I don't know what it's like like like

1024
01:04:12.599 --> 01:04:14.320
you know what, like I do, But.

1025
01:04:14.280 --> 01:04:18.039
There's a time to do that though, doves. It's learning

1026
01:04:18.079 --> 01:04:19.639
for a woman to do that.

1027
01:04:19.880 --> 01:04:21.719
You know, you know what I'm saying, and I be

1028
01:04:21.719 --> 01:04:23.280
feeling like you know what I'm saying, and I be

1029
01:04:23.320 --> 01:04:25.480
feeling bad man, and I'm like, bro, you know.

1030
01:04:25.440 --> 01:04:30.960
What seeing see here's the thing, right you know, like

1031
01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:31.400
like you know.

1032
01:04:33.960 --> 01:04:36.800
Maybe before you know, maybe before you know, like like

1033
01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:38.480
I would feel bad, but I just didn't care because

1034
01:04:38.480 --> 01:04:39.960
you know what, I didn't care about nothing.

1035
01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:43.119
Like when I say nothing, like it was to the

1036
01:04:43.119 --> 01:04:43.880
point where I didn't care.

1037
01:04:43.920 --> 01:04:46.280
I didn't care if I live to die, you know

1038
01:04:46.280 --> 01:04:47.679
what I'm saying, if I live to see the next

1039
01:04:47.760 --> 01:04:50.639
day or I die tonight, Like I just did not care.

1040
01:04:51.599 --> 01:04:54.039
Now that I'm older, and I see like you know,

1041
01:04:55.239 --> 01:04:59.679
like the Countless, like you know the books of my wrongs, right,

1042
01:05:00.800 --> 01:05:04.159
and like I'm more like you know, like mature if

1043
01:05:04.159 --> 01:05:06.199
you will, and like like everything is like more like

1044
01:05:06.239 --> 01:05:10.639
you know on a conscious level, right, you know what

1045
01:05:10.639 --> 01:05:12.679
I'm saying, Like this is why, like you know, I

1046
01:05:12.719 --> 01:05:15.880
feel like you know, like sometimes like like certain things

1047
01:05:15.880 --> 01:05:17.559
I keep to myself so I figure it, you know,

1048
01:05:17.639 --> 01:05:18.840
so I figure out how to word it.

1049
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:19.679
You see what I mean?

1050
01:05:20.480 --> 01:05:22.719
Like you know, like I'm like, you know what, like

1051
01:05:22.719 --> 01:05:25.719
like before, I will always like keep things to myself,

1052
01:05:25.719 --> 01:05:27.599
and then they'll build ups and other things and other

1053
01:05:27.639 --> 01:05:32.239
things to the point where it's like like let's just say,

1054
01:05:32.239 --> 01:05:34.039
you know, like my lady will step on my sneaker.

1055
01:05:34.039 --> 01:05:35.920
I'll get mad over that, like, Yo, what the hell

1056
01:05:35.960 --> 01:05:38.119
bro this? Thatand the third blah blah blah blah blah blah.

1057
01:05:38.159 --> 01:05:42.320
But that's from that, that's from like, you know, stuff

1058
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:45.639
that the frustrations that's been building within myself because of

1059
01:05:45.960 --> 01:05:48.800
because the things that are not in my control that

1060
01:05:49.000 --> 01:05:50.480
you know what, Now I'm starting, you know, like now

1061
01:05:50.480 --> 01:05:53.679
I'm starting to open up and like speak on things.

1062
01:05:53.679 --> 01:05:56.920
But like sometimes like you know, like I have to

1063
01:05:56.920 --> 01:05:58.679
take a step back because like I have to, like,

1064
01:05:58.719 --> 01:06:00.440
you know, I want to make sure that I worded

1065
01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:02.280
the way that you know, I want to word it

1066
01:06:02.639 --> 01:06:04.920
that best exemplifies like how I feel.

1067
01:06:05.559 --> 01:06:08.639
But that's that's a good example, dubs. Since when in

1068
01:06:08.679 --> 01:06:12.360
our society did getting our sneakers step th on become

1069
01:06:12.400 --> 01:06:14.000
more important than our partner?

1070
01:06:15.840 --> 01:06:18.039
You know? You know, when when.

1071
01:06:19.679 --> 01:06:21.840
Trump put the terrifts on the sneakers And I'm saying

1072
01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:26.800
when when like everything like everything build up, you know,

1073
01:06:26.880 --> 01:06:29.880
like and that's and not out ten times is it's

1074
01:06:30.239 --> 01:06:32.079
you know, like I can't speak, like I said, I

1075
01:06:32.079 --> 01:06:34.199
can't speak for every man out here, but I can

1076
01:06:34.239 --> 01:06:39.360
speak on my experience, like is that I've been frustrated

1077
01:06:39.400 --> 01:06:43.039
with certain things and I'm watching you know, and and

1078
01:06:43.079 --> 01:06:46.119
I'm watching my you know, my lady you know do

1079
01:06:47.360 --> 01:06:50.719
and my hands are tied and it's like, and don't

1080
01:06:50.719 --> 01:06:51.360
sit right with me.

1081
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:54.960
So it's like it's she signed that she signed up

1082
01:06:55.079 --> 01:06:55.400
as that.

1083
01:06:57.280 --> 01:07:00.400
Yes she did, yes she did. But it's like but

1084
01:07:00.400 --> 01:07:01.679
it's like, you know what, there's.

1085
01:07:01.480 --> 01:07:04.840
No butt, if that's what I'm saying. People always find

1086
01:07:05.320 --> 01:07:09.559
the exceptions to the rules. When someone makes a conscious

1087
01:07:09.679 --> 01:07:14.519
choice to be in a relationship with you, marriage, whatever

1088
01:07:14.559 --> 01:07:19.159
it is. They're literally telling you, I'm signing up for

1089
01:07:19.360 --> 01:07:23.960
your stuff because when my stuff goes down, you trust

1090
01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:26.039
and believe you better be there for me.

1091
01:07:26.760 --> 01:07:30.199
But see, there is a butt in a way, because like, yes,

1092
01:07:30.239 --> 01:07:33.320
I want to do more, you can do more.

1093
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:38.000
But if you stop believing and trust again, your partner

1094
01:07:39.239 --> 01:07:44.239
is supposed to be your family. You know, we leave

1095
01:07:44.280 --> 01:07:47.800
our mothers and our fathers to join with another person

1096
01:07:48.239 --> 01:07:50.519
and multiply and fill the world.

1097
01:07:50.719 --> 01:07:53.599
Right absolutely, you.

1098
01:07:54.920 --> 01:07:58.519
The person that shares your bed and your home with

1099
01:07:58.599 --> 01:08:02.199
You should know more about you and what makes you

1100
01:08:02.320 --> 01:08:06.079
tick than your friends, than the rest of your family,

1101
01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:11.280
because that is supposed to be your other half, that

1102
01:08:11.440 --> 01:08:14.079
is the person that you, guys, have chosen to spend

1103
01:08:14.119 --> 01:08:19.039
your life with. However, as a society, we're keeping secrets

1104
01:08:19.079 --> 01:08:23.119
from them. We're not telling them what makes us happy,

1105
01:08:23.880 --> 01:08:29.359
what pleases us, because we're afraid of their judgment. And

1106
01:08:29.439 --> 01:08:31.560
the truth is, it's better to find out in the

1107
01:08:31.600 --> 01:08:34.920
beginning by giving them all that you are so that

1108
01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:37.079
they can make their choice whether they can live with

1109
01:08:37.119 --> 01:08:40.800
it or not, then holding on to this stuff. I've

1110
01:08:40.840 --> 01:08:44.880
had people who I know genuinely, genuinely cared about me

1111
01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:52.279
and the dating or whatever it was ended because they

1112
01:08:52.279 --> 01:08:54.880
didn't want to be a soul called burden to me,

1113
01:08:55.760 --> 01:09:01.319
and they hid parts of themselves from me knowing who

1114
01:09:01.359 --> 01:09:04.279
I was, so they hid parts of themselves from me

1115
01:09:05.760 --> 01:09:09.279
just so that I wouldn't leave them because I thought

1116
01:09:09.319 --> 01:09:11.479
it was too hard. So first they didn't give me

1117
01:09:11.960 --> 01:09:16.399
the adult consideration to make my own choices, so they

1118
01:09:16.479 --> 01:09:20.960
hid things from me. And then when I did, when

1119
01:09:20.960 --> 01:09:23.800
I did find out about those things later because they

1120
01:09:23.800 --> 01:09:28.399
could no longer hide them, it wasn't even that I

1121
01:09:28.600 --> 01:09:31.279
was upset. I would not have even left had I

1122
01:09:31.359 --> 01:09:34.840
known those things in the beginning. What made me leave,

1123
01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:38.239
no hold on, What made me leave was the fact

1124
01:09:38.319 --> 01:09:41.279
that you lied about it, that you hid it from me.

1125
01:09:41.720 --> 01:09:46.119
And now I have to pay the consequences for that,

1126
01:09:47.159 --> 01:09:51.760
because now you got me all wrapped up and didn't

1127
01:09:51.800 --> 01:09:55.199
give me all the information that I required to be

1128
01:09:55.279 --> 01:09:59.079
able to make that educated and loving decision for myself.

1129
01:10:00.159 --> 01:10:03.640
Guess what by you keeping that from me, you just

1130
01:10:03.800 --> 01:10:09.439
guaranteed what you were trying to prevent. Because the right

1131
01:10:09.479 --> 01:10:10.239
person will.

1132
01:10:10.039 --> 01:10:11.760
Stay, you know why? Right?

1133
01:10:13.960 --> 01:10:15.800
Well, I can't, like I said, I can't speak for

1134
01:10:15.880 --> 01:10:18.680
every man out here, but I can speak There was

1135
01:10:18.680 --> 01:10:25.000
always at one time, right that you know, like we

1136
01:10:25.119 --> 01:10:27.319
show the person, you know, we showed the woman like

1137
01:10:27.359 --> 01:10:31.600
who we really were, and they took it, took advantage

1138
01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:33.000
of it, ran with it.

1139
01:10:33.600 --> 01:10:36.039
Because they were not the right.

1140
01:10:36.039 --> 01:10:38.199
Person exactly exactly.

1141
01:10:38.279 --> 01:10:41.039
And so you're gonna make the right person suffer or

1142
01:10:41.039 --> 01:10:45.800
you're not gonna find the right person. Can I explain?

1143
01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:50.840
Can I explain? Please? Because hand my hand up, Let

1144
01:10:50.880 --> 01:10:51.279
me explain.

1145
01:10:51.399 --> 01:10:52.319
Let me explain, like you.

1146
01:10:53.079 --> 01:10:56.359
Like, from my from my experience, like all of that

1147
01:10:57.119 --> 01:10:58.640
was take me. You know what I'm saying.

1148
01:10:58.800 --> 01:11:02.479
All it was was once and that was wrong, you know,

1149
01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:06.359
you know, like hindsight is twenty twenty. That was completely wrong, right,

1150
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:09.399
And I was always like, nah, man, never again, never again,

1151
01:11:09.800 --> 01:11:13.680
you know, and that you know what, And I heard

1152
01:11:13.720 --> 01:11:15.640
a lot you know what, you know what some women

1153
01:11:15.720 --> 01:11:17.279
you know what I'm saying, like, no one deserves to

1154
01:11:17.279 --> 01:11:17.720
get hurt.

1155
01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:19.720
So like I hurt a lot of people, you.

1156
01:11:19.680 --> 01:11:21.399
Know, I believe I hurt a lot of people, and

1157
01:11:22.720 --> 01:11:24.880
you know, like I feel bad for that, you know,

1158
01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:28.359
all because of one person. And all it took was

1159
01:11:28.399 --> 01:11:31.359
one person to like have me thinking like in a

1160
01:11:31.399 --> 01:11:34.359
different tone. And it took a while. It took a while,

1161
01:11:35.159 --> 01:11:43.359
right to like, you know, like re educate myself because

1162
01:11:43.399 --> 01:11:47.000
like when you're alone, you know, like there's so many

1163
01:11:47.039 --> 01:11:50.640
things you could do, but re educating yourself and getting

1164
01:11:50.640 --> 01:11:52.159
like you said again, to know yourself at the end

1165
01:11:52.159 --> 01:11:54.920
of the day, and re educating who you really are

1166
01:11:55.079 --> 01:11:57.800
now now who you were like fifteen years ago.

1167
01:11:57.920 --> 01:11:59.520
Whatever is price.

1168
01:12:00.319 --> 01:12:01.920
So that's the reason why, like you know now, like

1169
01:12:01.960 --> 01:12:05.079
you know, in my cour relationship that I'm in, I

1170
01:12:05.159 --> 01:12:08.279
try to be more you know more vocal. I try,

1171
01:12:08.359 --> 01:12:10.319
you know, like I speak from the heart regardless, but

1172
01:12:10.479 --> 01:12:13.159
like you know what, like certain things like like this

1173
01:12:13.199 --> 01:12:16.479
week when when you know, like I showed you guys,

1174
01:12:16.479 --> 01:12:19.920
you know, like the little procedure they did and how

1175
01:12:19.960 --> 01:12:22.439
like you know, like I was happy for five days

1176
01:12:22.439 --> 01:12:24.000
and the next thing, you know, you know, like since

1177
01:12:24.039 --> 01:12:25.439
it was a trial run, like you know, it was

1178
01:12:25.479 --> 01:12:27.640
over and went back to like you know, like being

1179
01:12:27.680 --> 01:12:31.840
a pain, Like the pain came back like more, and.

1180
01:12:33.439 --> 01:12:35.039
You know, like you know, it messed with me.

1181
01:12:35.079 --> 01:12:36.920
And I don't want to tell my girl that, you

1182
01:12:36.920 --> 01:12:39.760
see what I'm saying because like because like you know what,

1183
01:12:39.880 --> 01:12:41.319
like I see her all the time, like you know,

1184
01:12:42.359 --> 01:12:44.720
like you know, like she's always like you know, she's

1185
01:12:45.039 --> 01:12:47.600
she's an awesome person man, you know, like she's always

1186
01:12:47.600 --> 01:12:48.359
doing this, and I'm like.

1187
01:12:48.399 --> 01:12:51.920
Yo, you know what, But then you're showing her that

1188
01:12:52.000 --> 01:12:53.159
you don't trust her with that.

1189
01:12:53.439 --> 01:12:55.880
No, no, no, no, no, you know what it's like,

1190
01:12:56.079 --> 01:12:59.479
it's like, yeah, you know what, you know what like

1191
01:12:59.840 --> 01:13:02.000
you you know, like I know, I know from a

1192
01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:05.039
place where it's coming from. But and the outside for

1193
01:13:05.079 --> 01:13:07.479
what you're telling me, that's what it looks like. If

1194
01:13:07.479 --> 01:13:09.079
that's what it looks like and I'm taking your word

1195
01:13:09.119 --> 01:13:12.319
for it, then you know what, but it's not intentional, you.

1196
01:13:12.319 --> 01:13:12.920
Know what I'm saying.

1197
01:13:13.239 --> 01:13:14.880
It's like it's your ego.

1198
01:13:16.880 --> 01:13:23.920
And you know what, and I just say that, and

1199
01:13:23.960 --> 01:13:26.800
I just say that it was my pride ego like

1200
01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:28.880
like like see like you know, and and like you know,

1201
01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:31.319
like and I got yelled at and she and you know,

1202
01:13:31.399 --> 01:13:33.159
she just says she she was like, she's like, what's

1203
01:13:33.199 --> 01:13:33.560
that hard.

1204
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:35.920
I'm like, I'm like yeah, I'm like yeah, I'm like, yo,

1205
01:13:35.960 --> 01:13:37.479
you know what I'm trying.

1206
01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:40.600
Like, you know, I'm like, I'm coming from a person

1207
01:13:40.680 --> 01:13:42.720
who used to be like, yo, I'll swallow my own

1208
01:13:42.760 --> 01:13:46.159
blood before I swallow my pride, right to a person

1209
01:13:46.199 --> 01:13:48.680
that's like trying to really swallow his pride ego.

1210
01:13:49.159 --> 01:13:49.359
You know.

1211
01:13:50.159 --> 01:13:53.640
And as of right now, let you run the ship

1212
01:13:53.960 --> 01:13:58.159
as of right now, you know, because like you know,

1213
01:13:58.239 --> 01:14:00.399
like financially, you know what I'm saying, you know, like

1214
01:14:00.760 --> 01:14:04.720
you know, we're living you know, up until further notice.

1215
01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:05.279
You know what I'm saying.

1216
01:14:05.359 --> 01:14:07.399
When the further notice happened, you know, like then it's

1217
01:14:07.439 --> 01:14:10.560
gonna be an us thing right as if it's not

1218
01:14:10.640 --> 01:14:11.159
us right now.

1219
01:14:11.159 --> 01:14:13.039
But it's like they're not you know, like I was.

1220
01:14:13.119 --> 01:14:14.399
Then the reason why I say it's gonna be an

1221
01:14:14.439 --> 01:14:16.640
us thing because like I feel like I could do

1222
01:14:16.680 --> 01:14:17.159
a lot more.

1223
01:14:17.239 --> 01:14:20.239
You see what I'm saying. And it's like and it's like,

1224
01:14:20.279 --> 01:14:22.079
you know what, like you're so.

1225
01:14:22.079 --> 01:14:24.359
Busy trying to do a lot more, you're not enjoying

1226
01:14:24.399 --> 01:14:25.720
what you already have done.

1227
01:14:26.600 --> 01:14:30.119
Exactly, Baz, you know what.

1228
01:14:30.680 --> 01:14:33.119
No, you know what, you know what and see and

1229
01:14:33.159 --> 01:14:34.600
this is me, you know what I'm saying, swallowed my

1230
01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:40.960
pride and admitting to it because she's right, you know, like.

1231
01:14:39.439 --> 01:14:43.560
Like you know, like for instance, period.

1232
01:14:45.079 --> 01:14:48.159
For instance, right for instance, let me let me say,

1233
01:14:49.399 --> 01:14:52.000
for instance, I'm with my daughter every day, and I

1234
01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:55.800
will look at it. No, I'm not not now I'm

1235
01:14:55.800 --> 01:14:57.880
saying that though, Like first, I'm with my daughter every day,

1236
01:14:57.880 --> 01:14:59.840
and like I don't look at it like you know,

1237
01:15:00.960 --> 01:15:02.159
I look at it as you know I'm saying.

1238
01:15:02.159 --> 01:15:03.439
Sometimes I look at it as nothing.

1239
01:15:03.800 --> 01:15:05.479
But like since she's just say that, you know what

1240
01:15:05.479 --> 01:15:06.840
I'm saying, I'm like, yo, you know what, I'm with

1241
01:15:06.920 --> 01:15:07.720
her every day.

1242
01:15:08.199 --> 01:15:10.560
You know what I'm saying. We're you know what I'm saying.

1243
01:15:10.560 --> 01:15:12.800
We're doing this we're doing that every day together, you

1244
01:15:12.800 --> 01:15:14.279
know what I'm saying, Like, I have a relationship with

1245
01:15:14.319 --> 01:15:15.359
my baby girl.

1246
01:15:15.720 --> 01:15:18.199
And do you know how many fathers can never say

1247
01:15:18.199 --> 01:15:23.439
that you get to witness and experience the first that

1248
01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:27.760
your girl can't.

1249
01:15:25.840 --> 01:15:30.199
That's why Sky and I are so close.

1250
01:15:30.800 --> 01:15:34.000
Yo yo yo yo yo yo. What my bad.

1251
01:15:34.119 --> 01:15:35.720
I'm just getting a little emotional, man like I don't

1252
01:15:35.720 --> 01:15:38.840
even care, man like, like you know, yeah, men cry,

1253
01:15:39.000 --> 01:15:39.960
all right, so whatever?

1254
01:15:40.039 --> 01:15:42.960
Man, So what I what I wanted to say was

1255
01:15:43.319 --> 01:15:45.920
about this relationship thing and about peace and about all

1256
01:15:45.960 --> 01:15:49.520
the other stuff and about bringing baggage from one relationship

1257
01:15:49.560 --> 01:15:53.760
to another or whatever. At our age, not that we're old,

1258
01:15:54.479 --> 01:16:00.000
but at our age, men and women have to understan

1259
01:16:00.039 --> 01:16:04.520
stand that life doesn't start for your partner when you

1260
01:16:04.560 --> 01:16:10.600
get together. They have a whole lifetime of experiences and

1261
01:16:10.720 --> 01:16:16.520
heartache and successes and they bring that with them. So

1262
01:16:16.560 --> 01:16:19.039
you can't expect someone to come into your life.

1263
01:16:19.439 --> 01:16:23.399
They just shouldn't be making you unpack the bag, that's all.

1264
01:16:23.920 --> 01:16:26.439
Yeah, that's that. That's what That's what I'm saying. Like

1265
01:16:26.880 --> 01:16:29.439
you you you you can't expect someone to come into

1266
01:16:29.479 --> 01:16:34.199
your life without baggage. That we're not in fucking grade school,

1267
01:16:34.239 --> 01:16:36.439
in high school and shit anymore. You know what I'm saying,

1268
01:16:36.479 --> 01:16:40.079
We're grown to ass people, and when we're grown to

1269
01:16:40.079 --> 01:16:42.800
ask people comes baggage, you know what I'm.

1270
01:16:42.600 --> 01:16:44.199
Saying, years of it.

1271
01:16:44.359 --> 01:16:47.920
And exactly years of it. So a person, a person

1272
01:16:48.039 --> 01:16:51.600
can't expect you to come into expect you to come

1273
01:16:51.600 --> 01:16:53.640
into their life with a brand new sleep. No, it

1274
01:16:53.640 --> 01:16:58.840
doesn't work that way. It's not one of those draw

1275
01:16:58.880 --> 01:17:01.680
and peel because we used to have back and that's

1276
01:17:01.680 --> 01:17:03.479
just schedule. You can shake the shit out of it

1277
01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:09.039
and fucking you know what I'm saying and start over again. Yeah, yeah,

1278
01:17:09.119 --> 01:17:11.199
you can't. You just that's not what life is. That's

1279
01:17:11.239 --> 01:17:14.760
not what relationships are. There's always gonna be. Yeah, it's

1280
01:17:14.760 --> 01:17:17.640
always gonna be. There's always gonna be something there, and

1281
01:17:17.640 --> 01:17:21.279
it's up to the both of you to work through

1282
01:17:21.319 --> 01:17:22.680
these things together.

1283
01:17:22.840 --> 01:17:25.439
Right, and you should come with some type of healing,

1284
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:30.960
some type of resolution to that previous stage. But it's

1285
01:17:30.960 --> 01:17:33.319
always going to be a part of you, you know,

1286
01:17:33.560 --> 01:17:39.079
Like you just can't make other people feel punished for

1287
01:17:39.159 --> 01:17:43.560
what other people have done. However, it's still an experience

1288
01:17:43.640 --> 01:17:47.640
you had and it's still valid feelings, right, but the

1289
01:17:47.760 --> 01:17:51.359
right person will want to work through that with you

1290
01:17:51.439 --> 01:17:54.600
and let you know how it makes them feel, instead

1291
01:17:54.640 --> 01:17:58.319
of just getting all up in their panties like, oh,

1292
01:17:58.439 --> 01:18:00.960
you're doing this and you're doing that, and you're doing

1293
01:18:01.039 --> 01:18:04.640
too much. You know what, Then you can move. Let

1294
01:18:04.720 --> 01:18:08.079
me tell you something. I can be miserable all by myself.

1295
01:18:08.199 --> 01:18:09.640
I don't need a partner to do that.

1296
01:18:10.800 --> 01:18:13.960
Sometimes, No, yes you do, because if it's miserable, and

1297
01:18:13.960 --> 01:18:16.119
then there's like an extra level miserable, you know what

1298
01:18:16.119 --> 01:18:18.000
I'm saying, the top miserable.

1299
01:18:18.079 --> 01:18:19.079
I'm just I'm just joking.

1300
01:18:19.079 --> 01:18:22.680
I'm just joking, joking now, But you're right though, like like,

1301
01:18:22.720 --> 01:18:24.560
but see, you know what the thing is too, I mean,

1302
01:18:24.640 --> 01:18:26.960
like and you know what I'm saying. I believe that

1303
01:18:27.039 --> 01:18:29.359
everyone you know what I'm saying is smart from one

1304
01:18:29.359 --> 01:18:32.000
way or another, you know. And I think we can

1305
01:18:32.039 --> 01:18:34.840
all agree that learning is indeed a gift, because not

1306
01:18:34.880 --> 01:18:39.439
that many people learn, and I think we could and

1307
01:18:39.520 --> 01:18:41.720
I think I think we could all agree that pain.

1308
01:18:42.119 --> 01:18:44.840
Pain is a teacher, regardless of what you know, like

1309
01:18:45.119 --> 01:18:47.319
whether it's whether it's physical pain, you know, like pain

1310
01:18:47.439 --> 01:18:50.199
changes people, you know, but it's also but you know

1311
01:18:50.199 --> 01:18:51.680
what the thing is this is what a learning part

1312
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:54.800
comes into play, because like you learn from the pain,

1313
01:18:54.840 --> 01:18:56.960
you don't, you know, like and like that. And that's

1314
01:18:57.000 --> 01:19:01.800
the mistake that us men, that's the mistake that we

1315
01:19:01.920 --> 01:19:03.640
don't do, is that we don't learn from the paint.

1316
01:19:03.680 --> 01:19:06.600
We rather you know, saying distributed back on the next

1317
01:19:06.600 --> 01:19:09.760
person or something like that. You know, I mean that's

1318
01:19:10.039 --> 01:19:12.560
you know what scratch, that's people in general. That's just

1319
01:19:12.600 --> 01:19:15.039
you know, like, oh this person hurt me, someone.

1320
01:19:14.920 --> 01:19:19.239
Hurt themb you know, like like you know, or the

1321
01:19:19.279 --> 01:19:21.800
right one comes along in your life and because someone

1322
01:19:21.800 --> 01:19:25.079
else hurts you, you tell this new right person, I'm

1323
01:19:25.079 --> 01:19:28.520
never gonna be vulnerable like that again. Come on, then

1324
01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:31.520
that means from the door you're telling me. Then from

1325
01:19:31.560 --> 01:19:34.199
the door, you're telling me that you were never going

1326
01:19:34.279 --> 01:19:39.039
to be totally mine because someone else violated the trust

1327
01:19:39.119 --> 01:19:42.319
that you had in them. So now you're never going

1328
01:19:42.399 --> 01:19:45.079
to allow yourself to trust anyone else.

1329
01:19:45.319 --> 01:19:47.319
So what's going with bars?

1330
01:19:48.279 --> 01:19:51.119
But see that word never, you know what I'm saying,

1331
01:19:51.119 --> 01:19:54.000
because like I got so used to being single. I'm like,

1332
01:19:54.159 --> 01:19:56.079
you know, like and I remember I told you, and

1333
01:19:56.119 --> 01:19:58.000
I'm like I'm never getting back in a relationship.

1334
01:20:00.800 --> 01:20:03.079
You can't use absolutely.

1335
01:20:03.600 --> 01:20:05.359
I use that word. I'm never getting back relationship.

1336
01:20:05.399 --> 01:20:07.159
Man, I'm having to hold on, hold up reading. You

1337
01:20:07.159 --> 01:20:08.159
gotta read this one.

1338
01:20:11.479 --> 01:20:13.920
It needs to be said, Lady g You hit home

1339
01:20:14.000 --> 01:20:18.079
on pretty much everything you were talking about, scary, traits,

1340
01:20:18.239 --> 01:20:21.239
more amazing. I need you in my life asat well.

1341
01:20:21.279 --> 01:20:31.840
Send me some emails. I'll be there. Yes, I'm gonna

1342
01:20:31.840 --> 01:20:34.640
start having a little segment on here where it's gonna

1343
01:20:34.680 --> 01:20:36.960
be like, Okay, so we're gonna do this and this

1344
01:20:37.039 --> 01:20:39.079
and this like a dear abby and then we go

1345
01:20:39.159 --> 01:20:42.680
with the show doctor.

1346
01:20:46.840 --> 01:20:52.000
You know what I'm saying, And you.

1347
01:20:51.960 --> 01:20:56.880
Know what's so funny? Jay uh Again. I talked from

1348
01:20:56.880 --> 01:21:00.000
my heart, I talked from experience, I talked from my professor,

1349
01:21:00.359 --> 01:21:04.399
I talk just all of these things. But in the

1350
01:21:04.399 --> 01:21:07.960
world that we live in now, people are so afraid

1351
01:21:08.319 --> 01:21:12.079
of this truth that I'm still single six years later.

1352
01:21:12.840 --> 01:21:15.239
But that's okay because mine is coming.

1353
01:21:16.920 --> 01:21:19.840
I believe how John Nicholson said it.

1354
01:21:20.640 --> 01:21:25.279
You get the truth, and unfortunately that is the truth.

1355
01:21:25.840 --> 01:21:29.560
People shy away from the mirror in front of them

1356
01:21:30.279 --> 01:21:33.159
because as much as they say they want the real one,

1357
01:21:33.560 --> 01:21:37.239
they want the transparent one. They want honesty. They don't

1358
01:21:37.279 --> 01:21:41.079
really want that. They want the honesty that makes them

1359
01:21:41.119 --> 01:21:44.720
look good, makes them feel good, and makes them feel secure.

1360
01:21:46.039 --> 01:21:49.520
Only the only real way to go about something is

1361
01:21:49.840 --> 01:21:53.640
let somebody tell you how they experience you, how they

1362
01:21:53.760 --> 01:21:56.960
see you, so that you can start a conversation with

1363
01:21:57.039 --> 01:22:01.840
them about how we can change together. It's not about

1364
01:22:01.840 --> 01:22:04.000
what you can do, it's not about what he can do.

1365
01:22:04.399 --> 01:22:08.319
It's about this is how you experienced me, but this

1366
01:22:08.359 --> 01:22:11.920
is what you give me, So let's talk about what

1367
01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:16.479
we can do together to change that, to change that.

1368
01:22:17.399 --> 01:22:17.720
You know what?

1369
01:22:17.760 --> 01:22:19.199
Excuse me, I wish I had a sound word because

1370
01:22:19.199 --> 01:22:21.560
I would have droped the bomb on that one, that

1371
01:22:21.680 --> 01:22:22.520
funk flex bomb.

1372
01:22:25.960 --> 01:22:29.680
Nah. But like, you know, where's the lie? You know?

1373
01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:34.199
Like, yeah, the only one, the truth that accommodates them exactly.

1374
01:22:34.680 --> 01:22:35.039
You see.

1375
01:22:35.920 --> 01:22:38.039
You know what the you know, the problem is that

1376
01:22:38.119 --> 01:22:39.800
most of these people out here, you know, they're talking

1377
01:22:39.800 --> 01:22:43.119
about the you know, oh, I won't just keep it

1378
01:22:43.119 --> 01:22:43.560
real with me.

1379
01:22:43.800 --> 01:22:47.199
Yeah, they're being real. We'll keep it real with you.

1380
01:22:47.439 --> 01:22:51.079
Meanwhile, you're out here pranting around barely keeping it realistic. Yeah,

1381
01:22:52.199 --> 01:22:55.159
so it's like what type of real you're talking about?

1382
01:22:56.600 --> 01:22:59.079
Well, damn woof.

1383
01:22:59.840 --> 01:23:03.760
You know, like because because you know what because you

1384
01:23:03.960 --> 01:23:08.800
because because you know what you know, Like like I

1385
01:23:08.840 --> 01:23:11.520
was complaining to you guys, you know, to be a

1386
01:23:11.560 --> 01:23:13.479
text like this week is I was that you know

1387
01:23:14.279 --> 01:23:19.640
that person, right, you know, and then like about things

1388
01:23:19.760 --> 01:23:20.640
going back to normal.

1389
01:23:20.680 --> 01:23:23.479
But what is like you know what what what's normal?

1390
01:23:24.520 --> 01:23:26.199
You know? Like my normalcy right now.

1391
01:23:26.159 --> 01:23:28.960
Is it's different. It's different for everybody.

1392
01:23:28.600 --> 01:23:32.279
You know, Like so perception of reality is different than

1393
01:23:32.279 --> 01:23:32.960
everybody too.

1394
01:23:33.399 --> 01:23:37.000
Yeah, you know so Like at the same time, though,

1395
01:23:37.159 --> 01:23:40.920
it's like there's a common ground that you know that

1396
01:23:40.960 --> 01:23:42.439
you know what I'm saying, Like you guys can meet

1397
01:23:42.520 --> 01:23:43.920
and keep it, you know what I'm saying and make

1398
01:23:44.000 --> 01:23:46.439
that your reality, both your reality.

1399
01:23:46.760 --> 01:23:49.800
And so I've also had people say, oh when they

1400
01:23:49.840 --> 01:23:52.680
ask hold on, it's the people they say, I'm so

1401
01:23:52.840 --> 01:23:56.119
real that their face is real. People don't preach real,

1402
01:23:56.359 --> 01:23:58.880
show it exactly. They don't talk about it. They be

1403
01:23:58.960 --> 01:24:03.199
about it. And I forgot what I was gonna say,

1404
01:24:03.239 --> 01:24:09.720
But keep talking, dubs, because then it'll come back to me.

1405
01:24:11.000 --> 01:24:15.600
Yes, Like so, so like last night I took an explain.

1406
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:17.399
Your hold on. I got a question, I got a

1407
01:24:17.399 --> 01:24:18.760
good question. I got a good question.

1408
01:24:19.439 --> 01:24:20.640
Oh, I was about to jump off the you know

1409
01:24:20.640 --> 01:24:22.479
what I'm saying, jump off on subject real quick to

1410
01:24:22.520 --> 01:24:24.520
tell you what my hold.

1411
01:24:24.359 --> 01:24:26.239
On I got. I got this. This is a question.

1412
01:24:26.680 --> 01:24:32.439
This is a relationship question. So the question is there

1413
01:24:32.520 --> 01:24:37.359
a such thing as unconditional love?

1414
01:24:38.359 --> 01:24:39.960
Absolutely no.

1415
01:24:41.399 --> 01:24:46.800
Only one person can provide you unconditional love and you

1416
01:24:46.840 --> 01:24:52.319
can't see them. That's it. Because human beings, we have conditions.

1417
01:24:53.039 --> 01:24:58.680
It's not like everybody, but there's always a condition even that.

1418
01:24:58.560 --> 01:25:01.479
Makes it, that makes it contracts. It doesn't make it. It

1419
01:25:01.279 --> 01:25:02.520
doesn't make it unconditional.

1420
01:25:03.600 --> 01:25:05.720
Contractual, no, it makes it conditional.

1421
01:25:06.039 --> 01:25:09.560
No, it makes it contract If there are conditions on

1422
01:25:09.680 --> 01:25:13.159
your love, it makes it a contractual agreement. That doesn't

1423
01:25:13.159 --> 01:25:14.159
make it unconditional.

1424
01:25:14.720 --> 01:25:18.079
That's what I'm saying. There is no unconditional love, But

1425
01:25:18.159 --> 01:25:23.119
I wouldn't say that it's contractual, because all right, the

1426
01:25:23.359 --> 01:25:26.880
closest thing that I think comes to what we would

1427
01:25:26.880 --> 01:25:30.760
consider is as an unconditional love would be a parent's

1428
01:25:30.800 --> 01:25:35.680
love and a child's love towards each other. That's what

1429
01:25:35.800 --> 01:25:38.359
I think is the closest that we could ever come

1430
01:25:38.399 --> 01:25:42.520
to unconditional because for the most part, and of course

1431
01:25:42.560 --> 01:25:46.039
there are always exceptions to the rules because we see

1432
01:25:46.039 --> 01:25:50.760
it every day in the news. However, there is still

1433
01:25:50.760 --> 01:25:56.560
a condition on how we express that love and how

1434
01:25:57.520 --> 01:26:01.880
you know, like with kids, especially teens, they have that

1435
01:26:02.039 --> 01:26:05.720
unconditional so called love for their parents because you know,

1436
01:26:05.800 --> 01:26:06.960
my daughter tells me all.

1437
01:26:06.840 --> 01:26:08.800
The time, it's unconditional love.

1438
01:26:10.239 --> 01:26:11.600
No, that's conditional too.

1439
01:26:11.840 --> 01:26:15.279
This is yeah, you know what, you know what you want.

1440
01:26:16.279 --> 01:26:16.840
As long as you.

1441
01:26:19.119 --> 01:26:25.239
Exactly ivy, tell her, tell her, tell her how much

1442
01:26:25.279 --> 01:26:25.720
you love me.

1443
01:26:27.479 --> 01:26:33.079
She's like, said that she didn't love you conditional.

1444
01:26:33.760 --> 01:26:34.640
Leave me alone.

1445
01:26:34.960 --> 01:26:43.439
She's like, yeah, she looks like a hostage. You're a danger.

1446
01:26:45.279 --> 01:26:48.800
Gosh, oh, I remember what my thought was. I was

1447
01:26:48.840 --> 01:26:51.199
gonna I was gonna say that there is you know.

1448
01:26:51.359 --> 01:26:53.439
The guys are like, oh, you want too much, right,

1449
01:26:53.800 --> 01:26:57.840
you want the fairy tale love? Right. The thing is,

1450
01:26:57.920 --> 01:27:01.319
and people never think about this, there is such thing

1451
01:27:01.680 --> 01:27:04.960
as fairy tale love. I believe in fairy tale love. Now,

1452
01:27:05.600 --> 01:27:08.640
it's not the Cinderella fairy tale. It's not the snow

1453
01:27:08.720 --> 01:27:12.039
white fairy tale. A fairy tale love is a love

1454
01:27:12.439 --> 01:27:16.039
that you put work into to create, to be the

1455
01:27:16.079 --> 01:27:20.880
way you want to be and makes you happy. So

1456
01:27:22.199 --> 01:27:25.560
with two people in a relationship there can actually be

1457
01:27:26.079 --> 01:27:29.159
your fairy tale love, because your fairy tale is what

1458
01:27:29.319 --> 01:27:32.960
you write, and as long as you're both in agreement

1459
01:27:33.039 --> 01:27:36.560
with that, you live that fairy tale type of life.

1460
01:27:36.640 --> 01:27:40.119
And so some people's fairy tale life looks like somebody

1461
01:27:40.159 --> 01:27:44.720
that's not gonna be drinking, smoking, beating me. And that's

1462
01:27:44.760 --> 01:27:46.720
my fairy tale that I can live a life without

1463
01:27:46.720 --> 01:27:52.000
those three things. That's possible. Somebody else's fairy tale life

1464
01:27:52.079 --> 01:27:54.800
is I can love you, I can marry you, but

1465
01:27:54.840 --> 01:27:57.239
we don't need to live together. You can live across

1466
01:27:57.279 --> 01:27:59.640
the street and I live over here. I got my house,

1467
01:27:59.680 --> 01:28:02.800
you got your house. But we're married and we're living apart.

1468
01:28:02.760 --> 01:28:06.880
And we get what was that the married?

1469
01:28:07.960 --> 01:28:11.520
Because marriage is not just about living together. It's about commitment.

1470
01:28:12.039 --> 01:28:15.039
It's about a different type of love. It's a love

1471
01:28:15.159 --> 01:28:18.840
that it doesn't matter where you live. I'm still going

1472
01:28:18.920 --> 01:28:22.079
to be this person for you. And I've seen it,

1473
01:28:22.159 --> 01:28:24.560
oh man, I didn't believe it. When that stuff all

1474
01:28:24.600 --> 01:28:28.840
first started coming out. It was called uh, being married

1475
01:28:29.359 --> 01:28:34.880
loving separately, right, And I have seen that work for

1476
01:28:34.960 --> 01:28:35.520
some people.

1477
01:28:36.520 --> 01:28:37.800
I was about to ask you that.

1478
01:28:38.279 --> 01:28:43.840
Yes, and they were one of the happiest couples that

1479
01:28:43.920 --> 01:28:46.520
I have ever seen, and when they first came to me,

1480
01:28:46.600 --> 01:28:51.159
they weren't living separately. Yes, it's about going on the journey,

1481
01:28:51.319 --> 01:28:54.960
and especially when you get into the older ages like us. Again,

1482
01:28:55.079 --> 01:28:58.239
you need something different. So if I were to say

1483
01:28:58.399 --> 01:29:01.159
right now in my life, yes, do I want to

1484
01:29:01.159 --> 01:29:01.600
love again.

1485
01:29:01.720 --> 01:29:01.920
Yes?

1486
01:29:02.000 --> 01:29:04.479
Do I want to get married again? Yes? But do

1487
01:29:04.560 --> 01:29:07.520
I want a man living in my house? No? Do

1488
01:29:07.600 --> 01:29:09.960
I want somebody that I need to cook for every

1489
01:29:10.000 --> 01:29:15.399
single day without fail, No? But I do want to

1490
01:29:15.439 --> 01:29:20.319
give and and and and provide everything that they need.

1491
01:29:20.960 --> 01:29:23.960
We can spend you know, I spend weekends over there

1492
01:29:24.039 --> 01:29:26.600
and they spend the week over here. Like I'm just

1493
01:29:26.840 --> 01:29:28.960
throwing out stuff. This is not where I'm really at.

1494
01:29:29.000 --> 01:29:32.159
But uh, I was gonna say it. Why wouldn't you

1495
01:29:32.159 --> 01:29:33.520
want to live with your husband?

1496
01:29:34.079 --> 01:29:38.960
Well, again, I only have one experience with a husband,

1497
01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:41.239
and I don't want to do that, Like I don't

1498
01:29:41.279 --> 01:29:43.000
want to live through that again. But I also have

1499
01:29:43.119 --> 01:29:46.159
to follow my own advice and I can't treat everybody

1500
01:29:46.239 --> 01:29:49.760
else like my ex.

1501
01:29:49.800 --> 01:29:52.159
But I see this is what this is what I

1502
01:29:52.359 --> 01:29:55.680
you know, just what we were discussing earlier about having

1503
01:29:55.720 --> 01:29:58.159
You know, I'm saying one person paying for another person's.

1504
01:29:57.800 --> 01:30:02.920
Since right, That's what I said. But they were so

1505
01:30:03.079 --> 01:30:09.119
happy only because as a couple they did really well together.

1506
01:30:10.359 --> 01:30:15.279
But living together created a situation for both of them

1507
01:30:15.960 --> 01:30:20.000
that was like they just they didn't stop loving each other,

1508
01:30:20.039 --> 01:30:22.039
They didn't get mad or whatever. They just could not

1509
01:30:22.319 --> 01:30:24.760
do it. They could not do it. But they did

1510
01:30:24.800 --> 01:30:28.800
buy houses right next to each other, so it was

1511
01:30:28.840 --> 01:30:31.000
like free for all. They even put a door in

1512
01:30:31.520 --> 01:30:36.359
They put a door in between the houses and they

1513
01:30:36.439 --> 01:30:38.760
were free to go back and forth. But he had

1514
01:30:38.920 --> 01:30:42.199
his space, and part of that was because she was

1515
01:30:42.359 --> 01:30:47.680
a hoarder and he was hold on, hold on, and

1516
01:30:47.840 --> 01:30:51.479
he was I don't know if he was a germophobe.

1517
01:30:51.600 --> 01:30:56.119
So we're talking two total opposites who loved each other,

1518
01:30:56.159 --> 01:30:59.199
had the same goals in life, loved each other immensely,

1519
01:31:00.239 --> 01:31:05.199
but they could not function, like literally function in each

1520
01:31:05.239 --> 01:31:10.399
other's spaces. So they did this. It was supposed to

1521
01:31:10.399 --> 01:31:12.880
be an experiment, but it ended up being wonderful for

1522
01:31:12.960 --> 01:31:17.760
them because she felt safe and secure in her space

1523
01:31:17.920 --> 01:31:21.079
with all of her things, and he felt safe and

1524
01:31:21.119 --> 01:31:25.960
secure in his sanitary situation. But they still loved each other,

1525
01:31:26.039 --> 01:31:29.239
and they still came together, still lived his husband and wife.

1526
01:31:29.520 --> 01:31:31.960
She still cooked, but she had to cook in his house.

1527
01:31:32.840 --> 01:31:36.960
He still like cuddled and all that, had sex and whatnot,

1528
01:31:37.039 --> 01:31:39.880
but he had to do that in her house because

1529
01:31:39.880 --> 01:31:43.560
he couldn't do it in his house. So we can't

1530
01:31:43.640 --> 01:31:49.279
judge every book by our story. People's stories look different,

1531
01:31:49.279 --> 01:31:53.720
and what works for one doesn't work for everybody. Yeah,

1532
01:31:53.760 --> 01:31:55.199
but it worked for them.

1533
01:31:55.680 --> 01:32:00.479
That's like that, Like that's like being Polly and stuff.

1534
01:32:00.520 --> 01:32:03.880
You know, Like you know, we.

1535
01:32:03.840 --> 01:32:07.199
Can't we can't talk about the poly because exprais in

1536
01:32:07.239 --> 01:32:08.720
here tonight.

1537
01:32:09.319 --> 01:32:11.239
Yeah, but I'm just saying though, like like like like

1538
01:32:11.279 --> 01:32:13.039
you know what, it works for some and you know,

1539
01:32:13.119 --> 01:32:17.039
like like me personally, it wouldn't work because you know what, No,

1540
01:32:17.199 --> 01:32:21.520
it just wouldn't work because no, like and.

1541
01:32:21.479 --> 01:32:26.239
I mean I can't I can't say never. I can't

1542
01:32:26.239 --> 01:32:30.119
say never because I've never experienced it. However, I also

1543
01:32:30.199 --> 01:32:33.479
imagine I wouldn't be good at that either because I don't.

1544
01:32:33.319 --> 01:32:37.000
Like saying her yeah, and I'm.

1545
01:32:36.840 --> 01:32:40.159
Not trying to get nobody else's stuff, no, exactly, Like

1546
01:32:40.359 --> 01:32:42.079
see that's the reason why like me, like on a

1547
01:32:42.119 --> 01:32:43.600
personal level, like I can't do it.

1548
01:32:43.600 --> 01:32:46.079
I mean, it works for some people. But but you.

1549
01:32:46.000 --> 01:32:48.680
Know, like like I've seen people that you know, like

1550
01:32:48.720 --> 01:32:50.880
you know, like when you know, all in on polygamous

1551
01:32:50.880 --> 01:32:54.199
relationships and ruined their ruined their relationship.

1552
01:32:54.720 --> 01:32:57.920
Yeah, that's because I think one of them may have

1553
01:32:58.119 --> 01:33:01.840
not truly been into that. They just did it for

1554
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:05.119
the sake of the other person. To do that, that

1555
01:33:05.279 --> 01:33:09.159
is something that you both have to actually believe and commit.

1556
01:33:11.800 --> 01:33:16.520
Ye you know doubt you know, like no, like I

1557
01:33:16.520 --> 01:33:17.640
can't do that personally.

1558
01:33:17.640 --> 01:33:26.239
Well you know that's yeah, that's what it is, Man's

1559
01:33:26.359 --> 01:33:30.279
that's exactly what it is. I mean, love love, love

1560
01:33:30.359 --> 01:33:32.279
is out there for everybody, it.

1561
01:33:32.199 --> 01:33:34.439
Is, and you know what, it's out there for everybody.

1562
01:33:34.560 --> 01:33:40.239
Unfortunately for some people it takes longer than others. And

1563
01:33:40.319 --> 01:33:44.119
again I start telling people, I'm like, dude, if you're

1564
01:33:44.159 --> 01:33:46.159
not serious about me, get out my door because you're

1565
01:33:46.159 --> 01:33:47.920
blocking my husband's way.

1566
01:33:48.159 --> 01:33:48.800
I have a question.

1567
01:33:49.520 --> 01:33:51.920
Yes, when you're doing your job and like you know,

1568
01:33:51.920 --> 01:33:55.640
you're speaking to people, right, and I'm pretty.

1569
01:33:55.359 --> 01:33:58.199
Sure, well I do a different job now.

1570
01:33:59.279 --> 01:34:01.920
Yeah, because you know, you know, you moved on up

1571
01:34:02.079 --> 01:34:04.880
to the east, but like you know, like when you

1572
01:34:04.880 --> 01:34:07.239
were doing your job before, right, and like you're sitting

1573
01:34:07.279 --> 01:34:08.159
in and I'm pretty sure.

1574
01:34:08.560 --> 01:34:09.680
I'm pretty sure.

1575
01:34:09.520 --> 01:34:12.159
That you know, like everybody was like you know, like

1576
01:34:12.439 --> 01:34:17.600
the majority of people were explaining their proms and like

1577
01:34:18.640 --> 01:34:20.960
you were like you know, and like they were dancing around,

1578
01:34:21.000 --> 01:34:22.079
you know, the main.

1579
01:34:21.920 --> 01:34:24.680
Issue of like them not loving themselves enough?

1580
01:34:26.399 --> 01:34:31.560
Right, Like, what what is the you would say that

1581
01:34:31.560 --> 01:34:35.359
that you know that was the problem?

1582
01:34:35.399 --> 01:34:35.680
All right?

1583
01:34:35.720 --> 01:34:37.319
You cut out for a second, So what is it

1584
01:34:37.359 --> 01:34:38.119
what I would say?

1585
01:34:38.319 --> 01:34:38.680
All right?

1586
01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:42.880
Like what was the percentage of you know, of like

1587
01:34:42.920 --> 01:34:45.680
the people that you know danced around the problems, but

1588
01:34:46.920 --> 01:34:49.359
you figured it out that it was them not loving

1589
01:34:49.359 --> 01:34:50.359
themselves enough?

1590
01:34:50.840 --> 01:34:52.680
Like what, like, what would be the percentage of like,

1591
01:34:52.720 --> 01:34:53.800
you know, like.

1592
01:34:54.359 --> 01:34:56.960
People because they didn't love themselves.

1593
01:34:56.960 --> 01:35:03.399
Exactly eighty ninety I will say that I'm discussing.

1594
01:35:07.079 --> 01:35:14.600
No, I wouldn't even make it that high. No, because

1595
01:35:14.600 --> 01:35:18.359
there are the funny thing is there are really healthy

1596
01:35:21.439 --> 01:35:27.399
healthy what would you call it? It's like healthy dysfunctional marriages.

1597
01:35:27.560 --> 01:35:33.119
There are where the issue is something so tiny and

1598
01:35:33.159 --> 01:35:38.560
so easy that they overlook it daily. Right, So if

1599
01:35:38.560 --> 01:35:44.920
they just worked on one issue, it ended up making

1600
01:35:44.960 --> 01:35:47.319
the biggest difference, And then you have the others where

1601
01:35:47.319 --> 01:35:52.039
there's just too many issues that even as someone who

1602
01:35:52.079 --> 01:35:55.600
believes in marriage and why I got into marriage and

1603
01:35:55.640 --> 01:36:00.279
family therapy, there are just some relationships that you have

1604
01:36:00.399 --> 01:36:04.319
to let them go. You got if you don't get divorced,

1605
01:36:04.359 --> 01:36:08.000
if you don't leave each other, either one of you

1606
01:36:08.199 --> 01:36:10.159
is gonna die or both of you are just going

1607
01:36:10.239 --> 01:36:16.199
to be so, so, so miserable. Right, it's because we're

1608
01:36:16.239 --> 01:36:19.560
not We are not and this is going on now,

1609
01:36:19.600 --> 01:36:24.840
and this is we're not dating intentionally, we're not getting

1610
01:36:24.880 --> 01:36:33.439
married intentionally. We're allowed. Yeah, I was talking to somebody

1611
01:36:33.479 --> 01:36:36.680
the other day, so I was, I mean, I'm not

1612
01:36:36.880 --> 01:36:40.039
really messing with that stuff too much anymore. But like

1613
01:36:40.560 --> 01:36:46.319
I was on a dating site, right, and said, the

1614
01:36:46.399 --> 01:36:51.279
amount of people, I'm telling you, it's just crazy. It's crazy.

1615
01:36:51.720 --> 01:36:54.640
It is crazy. So you got people who are on

1616
01:36:54.720 --> 01:36:58.720
there who are married just looking for hookups. You got

1617
01:36:58.720 --> 01:37:01.760
people who are married and they're looking for a third.

1618
01:37:04.119 --> 01:37:09.359
You've got the single people, especially Latino websites. You got

1619
01:37:09.399 --> 01:37:13.439
the people who are looking for their papers. You know,

1620
01:37:13.520 --> 01:37:15.760
like there's just so many different reasons why people are

1621
01:37:15.800 --> 01:37:20.760
looking for each other. And so one guy, he contacted me,

1622
01:37:21.680 --> 01:37:24.119
and you know, we were talking for a day or so,

1623
01:37:24.479 --> 01:37:28.920
and he he asked me, you know, what are you

1624
01:37:29.000 --> 01:37:31.680
hoping to find on the site? What's what's this? What's that?

1625
01:37:32.119 --> 01:37:35.239
And so I said, well, the truth is, being on

1626
01:37:35.279 --> 01:37:40.640
the site, I'm not expecting to find anything. I'm here

1627
01:37:40.920 --> 01:37:48.800
meeting new people. My hope is that maybe I'll create

1628
01:37:48.840 --> 01:37:52.319
a friendship that turns into it forever. That's my hope.

1629
01:37:52.760 --> 01:37:57.119
But I don't come here expecting to find anything. The

1630
01:37:57.159 --> 01:38:02.159
only thing I expect to find is a conversation. But

1631
01:38:02.239 --> 01:38:05.279
I didn't always feel that way. In the very very

1632
01:38:05.399 --> 01:38:08.319
very beginning, I was there because I'm looking for a partner,

1633
01:38:09.239 --> 01:38:12.239
and I was in like kind of like our first

1634
01:38:12.439 --> 01:38:15.399
person that was senting sending the email, the fear of

1635
01:38:15.439 --> 01:38:19.680
being alone was so high that it was like I

1636
01:38:19.760 --> 01:38:23.640
was willing to accept whoever gave the most interest, you know,

1637
01:38:23.760 --> 01:38:26.600
just willing to accept whatever was offered, right because it

1638
01:38:26.720 --> 01:38:30.439
wasn't a whole lot being offered. But again, when you

1639
01:38:30.520 --> 01:38:33.000
start to love you and you start to see your

1640
01:38:33.159 --> 01:38:36.199
value and what you bring to the table, you also

1641
01:38:36.359 --> 01:38:39.600
learn that you deserve what it is that you want

1642
01:38:39.600 --> 01:38:43.600
and need. So this person's talking to me, and the

1643
01:38:43.680 --> 01:38:46.399
conversation was going, well, you know, he's got kids. He's

1644
01:38:46.439 --> 01:38:50.159
active with his children. And I don't really know how

1645
01:38:50.239 --> 01:38:53.159
we got into the conversation, but at the end I

1646
01:38:53.279 --> 01:38:58.159
found out that he was married, not too like he

1647
01:38:58.640 --> 01:39:00.520
told me he was married before or but that he

1648
01:39:00.560 --> 01:39:03.199
had gotten a divorce. Well, in our conversation, it also

1649
01:39:03.359 --> 01:39:07.000
turns out that he had someone like a friend or

1650
01:39:07.000 --> 01:39:13.159
something who was from the Dominican Republic, and he she

1651
01:39:13.319 --> 01:39:15.560
was gonna she was telling him how she was gonna

1652
01:39:15.560 --> 01:39:20.119
marry somebody and pay him, you know, because she needed

1653
01:39:20.119 --> 01:39:23.239
her papers or whatever. And I don't know what possessed him,

1654
01:39:23.840 --> 01:39:26.720
but he and he said he had no feelings for her,

1655
01:39:26.880 --> 01:39:29.600
like he didn't love her, nothing like that, but that

1656
01:39:30.119 --> 01:39:33.399
he had preferred to help her then to allow her

1657
01:39:33.479 --> 01:39:37.439
to go ask a total stranger. So he married her

1658
01:39:37.800 --> 01:39:40.880
to help her, to help her out. Right. But the

1659
01:39:40.960 --> 01:39:45.520
thing is, by him doing that, I could I could

1660
01:39:45.600 --> 01:39:48.880
have been probably his dream come true. Who knows or

1661
01:39:48.960 --> 01:39:54.399
vice versa. Right, But as soon as he told me

1662
01:39:54.439 --> 01:39:58.199
he was married, he could have explained to me that

1663
01:39:58.359 --> 01:40:02.960
she was in West Booty. I don't care the fact

1664
01:40:02.960 --> 01:40:06.000
that he was married. It didn't matter why he was married,

1665
01:40:06.039 --> 01:40:09.720
who she was, the fact that he was married right

1666
01:40:09.760 --> 01:40:13.920
there stopped my conversation with him.

1667
01:40:14.079 --> 01:40:15.039
Shut everything down.

1668
01:40:15.119 --> 01:40:18.279
H Yes, because my thing is, first of all, first

1669
01:40:18.359 --> 01:40:23.840
and foremost, I will not do to people what people

1670
01:40:24.119 --> 01:40:26.039
have done to me. I won't.

1671
01:40:27.119 --> 01:40:28.520
That's what makes you a good person, you.

1672
01:40:28.479 --> 01:40:32.479
Know that, right, Yes, But good people often hurt the most.

1673
01:40:32.560 --> 01:40:35.159
But that's okay because my gift is not here on

1674
01:40:35.199 --> 01:40:36.680
earth anyway. So whatever.

1675
01:40:38.279 --> 01:40:44.039
So I like that reference, by the way, yep.

1676
01:40:44.319 --> 01:40:45.359
What would you would you say?

1677
01:40:45.399 --> 01:40:47.279
Coles?

1678
01:40:48.880 --> 01:40:51.359
I like that, I like I like that. I like

1679
01:40:51.439 --> 01:40:57.920
that reference, by the way. That was very continue.

1680
01:40:58.039 --> 01:41:01.479
Yeah, and and and the thing is, like again, it

1681
01:41:01.640 --> 01:41:03.960
used to hurt me to feel that way, like I

1682
01:41:04.000 --> 01:41:05.960
want to. People want to be liked, they want to

1683
01:41:06.000 --> 01:41:08.079
be loved, they want to be cared about. But the

1684
01:41:08.159 --> 01:41:11.760
truth is, what good is all of that when we

1685
01:41:11.800 --> 01:41:13.800
live in a world that people are stabbing each other

1686
01:41:13.800 --> 01:41:17.239
in the back anyway? So what's the point? Like with work,

1687
01:41:17.479 --> 01:41:20.680
people are so busy trying to make that money that

1688
01:41:20.720 --> 01:41:23.279
they're not thinking about the fact that they're killing themselves

1689
01:41:23.359 --> 01:41:27.119
for a job that would replace them in a heartbeat.

1690
01:41:27.279 --> 01:41:30.119
Right, you know. I told my brother that and he

1691
01:41:30.159 --> 01:41:31.239
got mad at me and stuff.

1692
01:41:32.000 --> 01:41:34.319
No, we're so busy trying to make a living that

1693
01:41:34.359 --> 01:41:35.560
we forget to make a life.

1694
01:41:36.359 --> 01:41:42.520
So Yo, she's on point tonight, bro, Well what.

1695
01:41:42.640 --> 01:41:43.640
I'm usually allowed?

1696
01:41:44.159 --> 01:41:44.399
I do?

1697
01:41:44.920 --> 01:41:45.560
Let me stop.

1698
01:41:46.680 --> 01:41:51.560
It's Sunday, Yes, definitely, definitely.

1699
01:41:51.600 --> 01:41:54.119
So the guy's telling me, he's like, but we're not together,

1700
01:41:54.319 --> 01:41:57.039
like and you know, I said, well, are you getting

1701
01:41:57.159 --> 01:42:00.800
a divorce like within the next month or so. He's like, well, no,

1702
01:42:00.880 --> 01:42:02.920
because she's going through her process. Blah blah blah. I

1703
01:42:03.000 --> 01:42:05.800
was like, all right, well, I'm just gonna let you

1704
01:42:05.840 --> 01:42:08.000
know this. It's not that I don't like talking to you.

1705
01:42:08.079 --> 01:42:10.479
I think you're an attractive man. I think you're nice.

1706
01:42:10.520 --> 01:42:12.960
I love how you are with your kids. I said,

1707
01:42:13.000 --> 01:42:17.000
but point blank is you are legally married to somebody.

1708
01:42:17.600 --> 01:42:20.399
And for me that I don't care if you've been

1709
01:42:20.560 --> 01:42:24.279
separated for twenty years you are still legally married, because

1710
01:42:24.319 --> 01:42:27.359
then what happens if I decide I want to run

1711
01:42:27.399 --> 01:42:30.479
away with you and go get married. We can't. We

1712
01:42:30.560 --> 01:42:34.479
can't because you're already legally married. And I can't and

1713
01:42:34.560 --> 01:42:38.319
I can't truly open myself up to you, let myself

1714
01:42:38.399 --> 01:42:41.159
go to you, because what if one day she decides

1715
01:42:41.199 --> 01:42:45.319
to come back. Legally, you belong in that relationship right,

1716
01:42:45.520 --> 01:42:50.960
so you can never truly be a part of my life.

1717
01:42:49.960 --> 01:42:55.520
And again, because I want to date intentionally, I want

1718
01:42:55.560 --> 01:42:59.439
an intentional friendship. I want an intentional relationship. I want

1719
01:42:59.439 --> 01:43:03.039
to make sure building something together and not just fitting

1720
01:43:03.079 --> 01:43:06.800
people as pieces into the life that already exists. No,

1721
01:43:07.039 --> 01:43:10.119
I guess I have a happy, pieceful life. But if

1722
01:43:10.159 --> 01:43:15.439
and when my other, my puzzle piece, comes along, I

1723
01:43:15.479 --> 01:43:19.279
can't expect him to fit himself into my life. And

1724
01:43:19.359 --> 01:43:21.239
I don't want to just be a piece fitting into

1725
01:43:21.319 --> 01:43:22.399
somebody else's life.

1726
01:43:23.000 --> 01:43:26.479
I need I tell you what, I'm not getting married

1727
01:43:26.479 --> 01:43:28.319
and have my wife lived somewhere else neither.

1728
01:43:29.800 --> 01:43:32.479
That's okay, you know what, that's the damn sure.

1729
01:43:34.079 --> 01:43:37.560
But again to each like everybody has their needs, their

1730
01:43:37.600 --> 01:43:38.720
wants and their desires.

1731
01:43:38.880 --> 01:43:41.640
As far as he goes into the she shed, that's it,

1732
01:43:42.199 --> 01:43:47.439
she's going.

1733
01:43:49.239 --> 01:43:50.119
What did you say?

1734
01:43:50.359 --> 01:43:52.520
He said the kitchen.

1735
01:43:55.760 --> 01:43:57.680
That's when I that's when you turn me off. Man.

1736
01:43:58.239 --> 01:44:00.000
No, No, I'll just playing.

1737
01:44:00.039 --> 01:44:02.479
I'm just playing, just playing like like like, yo, you

1738
01:44:02.520 --> 01:44:05.439
know what I can't like for instance, for instance, right,

1739
01:44:05.720 --> 01:44:09.000
you know, like you're saying we're friendship and everything.

1740
01:44:09.439 --> 01:44:11.479
That's how That's how my lady is.

1741
01:44:13.239 --> 01:44:15.479
I want one person that I don't need to call

1742
01:44:15.640 --> 01:44:20.199
nobody else to talk about my stuff, to ask their

1743
01:44:20.239 --> 01:44:23.760
their their input, because I have that person. I have

1744
01:44:23.880 --> 01:44:27.239
that person there who is not gonna he's gonna listen

1745
01:44:27.479 --> 01:44:31.560
and not judge. Right, We're gonna listen and not judge and.

1746
01:44:32.199 --> 01:44:36.359
Drop that draw or or or or you know what.

1747
01:44:36.439 --> 01:44:39.119
You know what if it's if there's judgment involved, you

1748
01:44:39.159 --> 01:44:40.560
know what I'm saying, it's not.

1749
01:44:40.600 --> 01:44:47.319
But I can't say judgment, constructive criticism.

1750
01:44:45.399 --> 01:44:47.960
Input input of course.

1751
01:44:48.039 --> 01:44:52.079
All right, all right, you know what, lady, do you

1752
01:44:52.159 --> 01:44:53.560
have a question? You know what I'm saying because like

1753
01:44:53.760 --> 01:44:57.439
because like I already asked you this question, but I

1754
01:44:57.439 --> 01:45:00.600
need the females, a woman of you know what I'm saying,

1755
01:45:00.720 --> 01:45:02.399
A woman's input.

1756
01:45:02.239 --> 01:45:06.039
A woman high intelligence, yes, input.

1757
01:45:06.800 --> 01:45:10.039
So and I didn't realize that scares people away from.

1758
01:45:09.800 --> 01:45:13.159
Me too, you know what?

1759
01:45:13.880 --> 01:45:15.680
You know what in all honesty, like the fact that

1760
01:45:15.720 --> 01:45:17.640
you're that you're a therapist. You know what I'm saying

1761
01:45:17.680 --> 01:45:18.720
that you know.

1762
01:45:19.000 --> 01:45:19.560
That right there?

1763
01:45:19.680 --> 01:45:21.319
I try not to tell you what I.

1764
01:45:21.279 --> 01:45:24.079
Do, but but you know what they're gonna know anyways,

1765
01:45:24.079 --> 01:45:25.359
by the way you convey you you know what I'm

1766
01:45:25.399 --> 01:45:27.800
saying the way you convey your words and the way

1767
01:45:27.800 --> 01:45:29.239
you talk, they're gonna know.

1768
01:45:30.039 --> 01:45:32.159
There's this. I don't know if you guys have seen.

1769
01:45:32.000 --> 01:45:35.399
It, but there's because.

1770
01:45:36.760 --> 01:45:40.039
It's a real, real that's going on on Facebook right

1771
01:45:40.560 --> 01:45:45.800
where the guy says, well, even on Instagram whatever, but

1772
01:45:45.840 --> 01:45:48.760
it's a real It's like a cartoon reel where the

1773
01:45:48.800 --> 01:45:51.279
guy and the girl are on the phone and he says,

1774
01:45:51.359 --> 01:45:54.239
I'm done when she starts sounding like h R right.

1775
01:45:54.920 --> 01:45:58.560
And so somebody said that to me. Somebody sent it

1776
01:45:58.640 --> 01:46:02.199
to me, and I watched it. I watched it, and no, lie,

1777
01:46:02.920 --> 01:46:06.000
after I finished watching it, I was crying it up.

1778
01:46:06.319 --> 01:46:08.359
So I was like, so are you telling me? I

1779
01:46:08.359 --> 01:46:10.800
imagine that's how people feel when they're talking to me.

1780
01:46:11.319 --> 01:46:14.119
So the guy calls the woman up and he's like, hey, baby,

1781
01:46:14.159 --> 01:46:16.800
it's been a while, why ain't you call me? And

1782
01:46:16.880 --> 01:46:20.079
she immediately goes on to the thing and says, well,

1783
01:46:20.119 --> 01:46:23.479
as per our last conversation, sir, you stated that you

1784
01:46:23.560 --> 01:46:26.720
were not looking for a full time position, and we

1785
01:46:26.760 --> 01:46:29.439
are offering a full time position. You said you were

1786
01:46:29.439 --> 01:46:32.159
looking for a part time position and we are not

1787
01:46:32.279 --> 01:46:34.920
hiring for a part time position. And then you hear

1788
01:46:35.000 --> 01:46:37.800
some dude in the background at her place talking about

1789
01:46:38.079 --> 01:46:41.119
come sit on it again or something like that, and

1790
01:46:41.159 --> 01:46:45.520
the dude is like, Yo, who's that sir? You stated

1791
01:46:45.560 --> 01:46:47.800
you are not looking for a full time position. So

1792
01:46:47.840 --> 01:46:52.079
we put the we put the ad out advertising a

1793
01:46:52.119 --> 01:46:55.279
full time position, and that is one of our applicants.

1794
01:46:55.960 --> 01:46:59.039
And due to his and he is interested in a

1795
01:46:59.079 --> 01:47:03.439
full time position, and based on his performance, he is

1796
01:47:03.479 --> 01:47:06.439
probably going to get the full time position. So I

1797
01:47:06.520 --> 01:47:10.720
thank you very much for your interest. However, good luck

1798
01:47:10.760 --> 01:47:14.520
with your future endeavors. However, the position has been felled.

1799
01:47:14.800 --> 01:47:18.800
And then she hangs up. And so people tell me,

1800
01:47:18.920 --> 01:47:21.239
like when they talk to me that that's how I sound.

1801
01:47:21.399 --> 01:47:24.600
And I said, man, there's part of me that's like, oh,

1802
01:47:24.640 --> 01:47:27.000
that sucks, but then the other part of me that's like, well,

1803
01:47:27.079 --> 01:47:33.199
that's that's who I am. And if if my confidence

1804
01:47:33.359 --> 01:47:36.399
brings out your insecurity, what am I supposed to do

1805
01:47:36.439 --> 01:47:36.880
about that?

1806
01:47:36.960 --> 01:47:38.159
Right?

1807
01:47:39.039 --> 01:47:42.439
Tech support?

1808
01:47:43.439 --> 01:47:46.079
That's why they say opposite is a track, right, So

1809
01:47:46.159 --> 01:47:49.039
you can be the mouthpiece and I'll be the brain.

1810
01:47:49.359 --> 01:47:54.159
Right, Hey, teamwork.

1811
01:47:54.319 --> 01:47:56.079
Yeah, it makes the dream work.

1812
01:47:56.600 --> 01:48:01.039
So you know what, I have a Yo, Yo, I

1813
01:48:01.079 --> 01:48:01.640
have a question.

1814
01:48:01.720 --> 01:48:06.159
I have a question, lady, now you know, like as

1815
01:48:06.159 --> 01:48:08.840
a matter of fact, you know, like I'm gonna you

1816
01:48:08.880 --> 01:48:12.119
know what I'm saying from experience, right, So I'm gonna

1817
01:48:12.119 --> 01:48:14.119
tell you. I'm gonna tell you how like a lady

1818
01:48:14.119 --> 01:48:17.159
and I like actually like met right now. It was

1819
01:48:17.199 --> 01:48:19.439
on Facebook, you know, like like we were friends before

1820
01:48:19.520 --> 01:48:22.560
you know, we found and we found you know, we

1821
01:48:22.640 --> 01:48:24.479
found each other in like similar places like you know,

1822
01:48:24.520 --> 01:48:27.720
like you know how they have like a public form

1823
01:48:27.720 --> 01:48:30.520
you know, like you know, someone you know comments on

1824
01:48:30.560 --> 01:48:32.840
it and whatever. You know, so we find each other

1825
01:48:32.880 --> 01:48:33.560
in similar places.

1826
01:48:33.560 --> 01:48:35.520
Whatever. It's like, oh, you know what, we kind of like,

1827
01:48:35.520 --> 01:48:37.159
you know, get along on that part, but like it

1828
01:48:37.239 --> 01:48:38.800
was ever whatever. Right.

1829
01:48:39.479 --> 01:48:42.640
So there was one post that she put up about

1830
01:48:42.640 --> 01:48:44.600
like how she almost lost her life in a fire,

1831
01:48:45.680 --> 01:48:49.880
right you know, and and I remember that, you know

1832
01:48:49.920 --> 01:48:51.840
what I'm saying, And I remember that fire, you know

1833
01:48:51.880 --> 01:48:54.399
what I'm saying, and like, you know, like and like

1834
01:48:54.920 --> 01:48:57.000
she was talking about like like why you know, I'm saying,

1835
01:48:57.239 --> 01:49:00.359
I don't understand why I'm still here. So I told her,

1836
01:49:00.399 --> 01:49:02.439
I'm like, yo, you know what, God has a reason

1837
01:49:02.479 --> 01:49:03.319
for you you know.

1838
01:49:04.279 --> 01:49:05.159
And then you know, like.

1839
01:49:06.760 --> 01:49:08.640
Yeah, well a little bit, you know what I'm saying,

1840
01:49:08.680 --> 01:49:10.520
and then like it was an it was another thing

1841
01:49:10.560 --> 01:49:13.960
that that you know, like like like the that time

1842
01:49:13.960 --> 01:49:15.640
that she was going through, like you know, like she was.

1843
01:49:15.680 --> 01:49:17.000
Like going through a breakup or whatever.

1844
01:49:17.079 --> 01:49:20.119
Right, and then she you know, she posted something about

1845
01:49:20.479 --> 01:49:22.199
what she wants out of a man and stuff, right,

1846
01:49:23.039 --> 01:49:25.199
and I inboxed. I was like, yo, listen, I need

1847
01:49:25.239 --> 01:49:26.760
you to take I was say, listen, you know what,

1848
01:49:26.800 --> 01:49:29.199
with all due respect, take that down. And she was

1849
01:49:29.239 --> 01:49:34.319
like why, I said, because you know what I'm saying,

1850
01:49:34.680 --> 01:49:36.680
Because because I told her. I was saying, because that's

1851
01:49:36.680 --> 01:49:38.359
how you're going to track people. That's gonna you know

1852
01:49:38.359 --> 01:49:40.479
what I'm saying, playing to the role. You know what

1853
01:49:40.479 --> 01:49:42.720
I'm saying, Like you're not going to meet the person

1854
01:49:42.800 --> 01:49:45.159
you want to meet, don't You're not gonna meet the representative.

1855
01:49:45.880 --> 01:49:49.199
Yeah, you know you're gonna meet what you for now?

1856
01:49:49.279 --> 01:49:50.880
Yeah exactly exactly.

1857
01:49:51.199 --> 01:49:53.039
So then like you know, like we just you know

1858
01:49:53.039 --> 01:49:54.680
what I'm saying, Like we just started to inbox each

1859
01:49:54.680 --> 01:49:56.520
other and then like you know, we started hanging out.

1860
01:49:56.760 --> 01:49:58.600
Everything was cool, everything was great, and then like you know,

1861
01:49:58.640 --> 01:50:00.279
it just led to other things and like you know,

1862
01:50:00.840 --> 01:50:02.840
and here we are now, you know, like that's my

1863
01:50:03.000 --> 01:50:05.039
you know, like like you know, like that is you

1864
01:50:05.079 --> 01:50:07.720
know what I'm saying, that's my homegirl, that's my best friend,

1865
01:50:07.960 --> 01:50:09.960
that's my you know, future ex wife, and I'm just playing.

1866
01:50:11.199 --> 01:50:13.720
I just thought, I thought, you know what. I tell

1867
01:50:13.760 --> 01:50:15.560
her that, like, yo, you're my future ex wife, and

1868
01:50:15.640 --> 01:50:17.000
she gives me like a heart. I have to look

1869
01:50:17.279 --> 01:50:18.960
to Corleone be like Yo, you're bugging bro.

1870
01:50:19.039 --> 01:50:20.800
I'm like, yeah, like shut up.

1871
01:50:21.079 --> 01:50:24.680
You shouldn't play like that because you call it into

1872
01:50:24.800 --> 01:50:27.640
existence manifest.

1873
01:50:27.239 --> 01:50:29.920
No wait wait wait wait wait hold on, you know what?

1874
01:50:29.960 --> 01:50:31.359
And then I would tell her every time I'm like,

1875
01:50:31.600 --> 01:50:32.479
I'm like, yo, you know what.

1876
01:50:33.600 --> 01:50:35.520
I was like, you know what, you know that, you

1877
01:50:35.640 --> 01:50:37.760
know that's not how that's going to play out, right,

1878
01:50:38.640 --> 01:50:41.239
But like see, now here's the thing. Right now the

1879
01:50:41.319 --> 01:50:45.199
question is this. I'll be you know what, like I'll

1880
01:50:45.279 --> 01:50:47.239
encourage her to go out with her friends all the time,

1881
01:50:48.399 --> 01:50:51.640
right And she was like why, I'm like, because I

1882
01:50:51.680 --> 01:50:53.840
don't want you to forget that you have friends, like

1883
01:50:53.920 --> 01:50:56.760
you know, like, yes, you're a mother. Now, don't forget

1884
01:50:56.760 --> 01:51:01.039
who you are before that. Yeah, you know, Like I'm like,

1885
01:51:01.119 --> 01:51:03.600
don't forget who you are, go out, go out with

1886
01:51:03.640 --> 01:51:05.640
your sister go out, you know, like like you know,

1887
01:51:05.720 --> 01:51:07.279
she's like, what about you and the baby. I'm like,

1888
01:51:07.479 --> 01:51:10.680
I go to Coleone's house. That's daddy, That's that's daddy daycare.

1889
01:51:10.720 --> 01:51:13.359
I'll just drive over there. I'll pick you up, you know,

1890
01:51:13.479 --> 01:51:16.079
like I have no problem, you know, just go out.

1891
01:51:16.119 --> 01:51:19.319
I want you to live, you know, because like because

1892
01:51:19.600 --> 01:51:22.279
because on the times that she's home sometimes, like you know,

1893
01:51:23.319 --> 01:51:26.000
I'll like you know, like take a ride or whatever. Right,

1894
01:51:27.399 --> 01:51:29.560
you know, I go down to my parents by myself.

1895
01:51:29.560 --> 01:51:31.439
I go to cole Oons by myself, Like you know,

1896
01:51:31.520 --> 01:51:35.880
I'll go somewhere eventually, you know, like I'll have to

1897
01:51:35.880 --> 01:51:37.960
stop by Walmart all the time.

1898
01:51:38.960 --> 01:51:41.520
Hey, well she does that. Ship man should be pissing me.

1899
01:51:41.760 --> 01:51:44.760
Anyways, you know, like like you know, like it's it's

1900
01:51:44.800 --> 01:51:46.479
always for two things. And the next thing, you know,

1901
01:51:46.600 --> 01:51:49.319
I get like a text message of litany of stuff

1902
01:51:49.319 --> 01:51:51.720
that you know that we need and stuff right, and

1903
01:51:51.760 --> 01:51:55.680
I'm like, oh man, I'm like, bro, you know what

1904
01:51:55.680 --> 01:51:56.319
I'm saying.

1905
01:51:56.079 --> 01:51:58.399
Like why do this now? Oh?

1906
01:51:58.439 --> 01:51:59.359
Because you're outside.

1907
01:51:59.479 --> 01:52:02.159
I'm like, but anyways, but that's besides that, you know,

1908
01:52:02.239 --> 01:52:04.840
like like you know, I want you know what I

1909
01:52:04.880 --> 01:52:08.199
want her to like you know, like you know, like

1910
01:52:08.399 --> 01:52:10.039
go outside, like be outside more.

1911
01:52:10.079 --> 01:52:12.920
You know, like but like her things, that's.

1912
01:52:12.760 --> 01:52:15.199
Not first maybe it's not like it's not her thing.

1913
01:52:15.239 --> 01:52:17.159
Yeah, yo yo yo, you know what yo yo, you

1914
01:52:17.199 --> 01:52:17.439
know what.

1915
01:52:17.520 --> 01:52:19.960
I'm starting to see that that you know, like she's

1916
01:52:20.000 --> 01:52:23.359
always been the homebody, right you see what I mean?

1917
01:52:23.640 --> 01:52:25.439
Like like me at the other hand, like see this

1918
01:52:25.479 --> 01:52:28.720
is where you know we're opposites because me, I I

1919
01:52:28.760 --> 01:52:32.439
love being outside. I love it, you know, like I'm

1920
01:52:32.479 --> 01:52:34.960
a spurt of moment type person. You know that's cool.

1921
01:52:35.000 --> 01:52:37.479
Leone like what like one minute, you know, blah blah

1922
01:52:37.479 --> 01:52:38.880
blah blah. I'll call him up out of no where. Yo,

1923
01:52:38.880 --> 01:52:39.279
you're busy.

1924
01:52:40.239 --> 01:52:42.159
No, I ain't got nothing to do. I want to

1925
01:52:42.159 --> 01:52:44.199
feel the cheese sticks sandwiches going on the Philly.

1926
01:52:45.640 --> 01:52:46.640
Pass by my house.

1927
01:52:47.000 --> 01:52:49.640
No, no, but hold on though, like like like you

1928
01:52:49.640 --> 01:52:57.600
know what, we haven't react that in a minute, but

1929
01:52:57.840 --> 01:53:00.399
like you know, like twenty twenty one, you haven't done

1930
01:53:00.439 --> 01:53:02.760
that since done, you know, I haven't been down.

1931
01:53:02.680 --> 01:53:06.880
To Philly like three yeah, like four years. No wait

1932
01:53:06.920 --> 01:53:07.319
that's both.

1933
01:53:07.319 --> 01:53:09.520
No, that's a lot because we went down to Parks,

1934
01:53:09.560 --> 01:53:12.439
but that was like two years ago. You know, but

1935
01:53:12.479 --> 01:53:14.920
other than that, like you know, like like I'm spurred

1936
01:53:14.920 --> 01:53:17.439
the moment, you know, like like you know where hers

1937
01:53:17.479 --> 01:53:20.279
like she you know, you have to give her a

1938
01:53:20.319 --> 01:53:21.479
couple of days in advance.

1939
01:53:22.000 --> 01:53:23.239
Yeah, yeah, you know.

1940
01:53:24.199 --> 01:53:27.199
But am I wrong for encouraging her to, like, you know,

1941
01:53:27.399 --> 01:53:29.479
just go outside, you know, like be with your friends

1942
01:53:29.479 --> 01:53:31.520
and stuff, you know, like even if she don't want

1943
01:53:31.520 --> 01:53:35.319
to do it, because I just want to make sure because.

1944
01:53:35.119 --> 01:53:38.039
This is part of where that love language thing comes in.

1945
01:53:38.319 --> 01:53:45.520
That woman deserves a Philly cheese stay because it's like

1946
01:53:45.600 --> 01:53:48.199
kind of like where those love languages came in when

1947
01:53:48.199 --> 01:53:51.640
that started. The thing is we were loving people the

1948
01:53:51.680 --> 01:53:54.720
way we wanted to be loved and not the way

1949
01:53:54.800 --> 01:53:57.399
they wanted to be loved, right, And that's where this

1950
01:53:57.520 --> 01:54:02.399
communication with each other comes in so important. Asking her

1951
01:54:02.800 --> 01:54:06.960
what makes her happy? Now, we're the ones that are

1952
01:54:06.960 --> 01:54:10.039
responsible for our own happiness. So if she's not giving

1953
01:54:10.079 --> 01:54:12.920
you the full information, that's going to be on her.

1954
01:54:13.479 --> 01:54:15.880
But the thing is, if she's telling you that the

1955
01:54:16.000 --> 01:54:18.640
night's out and the hanging out here and the hanging

1956
01:54:18.680 --> 01:54:21.880
out there is not for her, believe her when she

1957
01:54:22.000 --> 01:54:22.640
tells you that.

1958
01:54:23.319 --> 01:54:23.520
Yep.

1959
01:54:24.760 --> 01:54:26.800
But then you also have to share with her. The

1960
01:54:26.840 --> 01:54:30.560
way you feel love is when you can spontaneously go

1961
01:54:30.680 --> 01:54:33.800
to Corleone's house or go see your parents. So that's

1962
01:54:33.840 --> 01:54:36.600
where you guys have to have the communication. And the

1963
01:54:36.640 --> 01:54:39.560
thing is, and I heard this on a show too,

1964
01:54:40.920 --> 01:54:46.960
being honest and being transparent are two different things. Being

1965
01:54:47.119 --> 01:54:50.439
honest is when somebody asks you a question and you

1966
01:54:50.560 --> 01:54:54.960
tell them the truth. Being transparent is when you're saying,

1967
01:54:56.079 --> 01:54:58.840
before you do it, I'm going to go to my

1968
01:54:58.880 --> 01:55:02.279
mom's house because and because I need to do a

1969
01:55:02.439 --> 01:55:06.279
B and C. And this is who's going to be there, Fulana,

1970
01:55:06.560 --> 01:55:08.239
her sister, her brother.

1971
01:55:08.840 --> 01:55:09.439
You don't like.

1972
01:55:11.600 --> 01:55:13.000
Nah, you know what? You know what?

1973
01:55:13.039 --> 01:55:14.640
We don't like Fulana. We don't you know what I'm saying,

1974
01:55:14.680 --> 01:55:16.800
Like the same way you don't like Fulano. We don't

1975
01:55:16.840 --> 01:55:17.920
like Fulano. You know what I'm saying.

1976
01:55:18.039 --> 01:55:21.039
But you can't and and and that's another thing. People

1977
01:55:21.119 --> 01:55:27.520
make assumptions based on their environmental upbringing. Right. So I

1978
01:55:28.119 --> 01:55:31.720
left the city of Camden, New Jersey, many many many

1979
01:55:31.760 --> 01:55:39.760
moons ago, although I still live close I. One of

1980
01:55:39.760 --> 01:55:42.039
the reasons I left is because I could no longer

1981
01:55:42.119 --> 01:55:47.600
deal with the mentality or the mindset that you have

1982
01:55:47.720 --> 01:55:52.039
to have to live in that city. Now, mind you,

1983
01:55:52.199 --> 01:55:54.520
I'll still go walking there at one two o'clock in

1984
01:55:54.560 --> 01:55:58.159
the morning and not be afraid because that is that's

1985
01:55:58.760 --> 01:56:02.720
where Yeah, I was taught. And the thing is, if

1986
01:56:02.720 --> 01:56:05.479
you go there looking like a victim, you're gonna be one.

1987
01:56:05.960 --> 01:56:08.920
So that's everywhere, you know what I mean.

1988
01:56:09.039 --> 01:56:12.279
Yeah, so I'm not afraid. But at the same token,

1989
01:56:12.640 --> 01:56:15.760
that doesn't mean I have love for my hood. But

1990
01:56:15.840 --> 01:56:20.680
I don't love my hood all right, because they keep them,

1991
01:56:21.039 --> 01:56:29.039
they keep we keep perpetuating the same cycle of of ignorance,

1992
01:56:29.880 --> 01:56:35.119
of ignorance that keeps people playing these same exact games

1993
01:56:35.119 --> 01:56:38.960
over and over and over again. You know, like as

1994
01:56:39.000 --> 01:56:43.000
many times I see guys saying or even girls, you know,

1995
01:56:43.039 --> 01:56:45.840
I want somebody who don't play no games. First thing

1996
01:56:45.880 --> 01:56:49.279
that happens, we get on the phone, they're playing a game.

1997
01:56:49.359 --> 01:56:52.520
They want me to read between the lines. I just

1998
01:56:52.560 --> 01:56:56.600
wanted to throw that out there. Thank you, Aman, we are.

1999
01:56:57.359 --> 01:57:01.000
Tell you we are a team.

2000
01:57:01.079 --> 01:57:04.439
Yeah. So it's like you want somebody who don't play

2001
01:57:04.479 --> 01:57:07.159
the games, but then you're playing these go get their games,

2002
01:57:07.199 --> 01:57:09.720
you know where I gotta between.

2003
01:57:09.720 --> 01:57:10.520
Get their games?

2004
01:57:12.199 --> 01:57:15.760
Yo, yo, yo, Look at yo, look at you with

2005
01:57:15.800 --> 01:57:16.439
the metaphors.

2006
01:57:16.520 --> 01:57:19.039
Yel you're gonna be someone's ghost riders soon. Man.

2007
01:57:19.840 --> 01:57:22.439
Yo, I'm letting y'all know. I'm working on my book.

2008
01:57:22.840 --> 01:57:23.840
I'm working on my book.

2009
01:57:24.479 --> 01:57:24.960
That's what's up.

2010
01:57:25.119 --> 01:57:27.560
That's what It's gonna be an Amazon soon enough.

2011
01:57:28.399 --> 01:57:31.119
All right, all right, so we all we.

2012
01:57:31.159 --> 01:57:33.359
All any any any any any last words? Who I

2013
01:57:33.399 --> 01:57:35.800
hope with the question of the night is one last

2014
01:57:37.279 --> 01:57:38.520
last words from anybody?

2015
01:57:39.399 --> 01:57:44.560
Yeah, man, like like, yo, you know what, hold on man,

2016
01:57:45.920 --> 01:57:49.680
I thought, Yo, you know what I saw the cherries

2017
01:57:49.720 --> 01:57:51.520
or whatever I said, Wait a minute, I'm not driving.

2018
01:57:51.520 --> 01:57:54.319
I'm on the corner. Man.

2019
01:57:54.600 --> 01:57:57.520
Look man, just yeah, the cherry you know, the lights.

2020
01:57:58.680 --> 01:58:00.720
You know what I'm saying, police lights, the police likes

2021
01:58:00.760 --> 01:58:02.359
I'm outside. I'm outside, you know.

2022
01:58:02.359 --> 01:58:04.439
Like you're always outside?

2023
01:58:05.039 --> 01:58:07.399
Yeah yeah, yeah, you know what because.

2024
01:58:07.800 --> 01:58:09.840
My daughter because you're always outside.

2025
01:58:10.520 --> 01:58:13.000
Well, yo, you know what? First off, first off, you

2026
01:58:13.039 --> 01:58:15.640
know what, yo? First off, real quick, right, you know,

2027
01:58:15.640 --> 01:58:18.119
and Codelon has been witness to this. Right.

2028
01:58:18.439 --> 01:58:22.199
Whenever I go somewhere far yo, you know what, yo, Yo,

2029
01:58:22.199 --> 01:58:25.039
you know what, whenever I go somewhere far, that's like

2030
01:58:25.239 --> 01:58:26.840
you know what I'm saying like that that's beyond like

2031
01:58:26.880 --> 01:58:29.520
you know Cordelon's beyond. You know what I'm saying, my

2032
01:58:29.600 --> 01:58:32.119
house or Elizabeth in New Jersey. I always send him

2033
01:58:32.119 --> 01:58:35.720
my location. The reason being is for many reasons, right. One,

2034
01:58:36.039 --> 01:58:39.560
if something happens, you know where I'm at. No God forbid,

2035
01:58:39.640 --> 01:58:41.079
if something happens, you know where I'm at.

2036
01:58:41.239 --> 01:58:44.600
But sharing that location all the time, bro, you.

2037
01:58:44.560 --> 01:58:48.920
Know, like you know what, like you know what, example yesterday, right,

2038
01:58:50.920 --> 01:58:52.720
you know, like I want to go do something for

2039
01:58:52.760 --> 01:58:56.079
the homeless, you know, like you know, like just you know,

2040
01:58:56.279 --> 01:58:57.199
with the church and stuff.

2041
01:58:57.279 --> 01:58:57.439
Right.

2042
01:58:58.960 --> 01:59:01.640
I forgot to tell her that Friday that I was

2043
01:59:01.680 --> 01:59:04.079
gonna go. So I told her that, you know what

2044
01:59:04.079 --> 01:59:06.319
I'm saying yesterday morning. At first she was like, you know,

2045
01:59:06.359 --> 01:59:07.800
like like you know, like it was just like all

2046
01:59:07.800 --> 01:59:10.119
of a sudden or whatever. But then like you know,

2047
01:59:10.119 --> 01:59:13.079
she seen the pictures and stuff, you know, and she

2048
01:59:13.199 --> 01:59:15.039
was like, all right, all right, I said, And I

2049
01:59:15.079 --> 01:59:16.800
told her, I told her, yo, you know what, if

2050
01:59:16.800 --> 01:59:18.760
you're thinking something, I was like, Yo, it's not that

2051
01:59:18.800 --> 01:59:20.720
because in all honesty, you know what I'm saying, I'm

2052
01:59:20.720 --> 01:59:22.800
in a good place where I'm at. Secondly, I don't

2053
01:59:23.159 --> 01:59:24.960
I don't have the energy, you know what, I'm saying

2054
01:59:24.960 --> 01:59:26.680
to be like living a double life.

2055
01:59:26.680 --> 01:59:28.399
That's crazy. I can't.

2056
01:59:28.520 --> 01:59:31.720
You know what everybody says that.

2057
01:59:30.199 --> 01:59:35.600
No, bro, listen, you know what exactly, you know what,

2058
01:59:35.680 --> 01:59:37.960
not everybody could be Batman, everybody could be there double.

2059
01:59:38.600 --> 01:59:41.439
You know what I'm saying, I just you know what,

2060
01:59:41.680 --> 01:59:43.720
like I don't you know, you know what I'm saying, Like.

2061
01:59:43.720 --> 01:59:46.520
I can't do it, Captain, I can't.

2062
01:59:47.239 --> 01:59:51.319
I can't, man, because because because you know what, just

2063
01:59:51.319 --> 01:59:52.359
like I don't have to said be.

2064
01:59:52.399 --> 01:59:53.800
Like if I didn't want to talk to you, I

2065
01:59:53.800 --> 01:59:55.359
wouldn't be on the phone with you right now.

2066
01:59:55.479 --> 01:59:59.479
That's bs you you no, but but yo, I'm serious

2067
01:59:59.520 --> 02:00:02.039
when I say is man because like because like the

2068
02:00:02.119 --> 02:00:04.479
reason why, the reason why, like you know, like I

2069
02:00:04.520 --> 02:00:07.199
say I don't have the energy for it, is because.

2070
02:00:08.399 --> 02:00:10.000
I'm learning from my past mistakes.

2071
02:00:10.760 --> 02:00:14.239
You know what I'm saying, Like I look back at

2072
02:00:14.560 --> 02:00:16.199
of all the times when I did have the energy

2073
02:00:16.239 --> 02:00:17.760
for it and how it ended. You know what I'm saying,

2074
02:00:17.800 --> 02:00:20.239
And believe me, you know what, you know what I'm saying,

2075
02:00:20.279 --> 02:00:22.359
it never ended. Well, you know what I'm saying, not

2076
02:00:22.439 --> 02:00:23.760
only for me, but for everybody.

2077
02:00:25.640 --> 02:00:28.520
You know what it is. You know what it is.

2078
02:00:28.560 --> 02:00:31.079
I mean like, it's like the definition of a satity

2079
02:00:31.119 --> 02:00:34.479
to keep doing the same thing and hoping for different results,

2080
02:00:34.720 --> 02:00:37.119
you know what I'm saying. And you know what, And

2081
02:00:37.159 --> 02:00:39.520
I always got different results whenever I was doing that,

2082
02:00:39.720 --> 02:00:43.039
but it was always worse than the last time, you know.

2083
02:00:43.720 --> 02:00:45.600
So it's like, say to yourself, when am I going

2084
02:00:45.680 --> 02:00:49.720
to stop this bullshit? It just keeps happening and keep happening.

2085
02:00:50.159 --> 02:00:54.439
Exactly exactly exactly, so it's like you So it's like yell,

2086
02:00:54.520 --> 02:00:54.800
you know what.

2087
02:00:56.359 --> 02:00:57.960
And that's why I'm saying, I'm good where I'm at.

2088
02:00:58.520 --> 02:01:01.600
The question of the night that I'm putting on y'all

2089
02:01:01.600 --> 02:01:02.560
too all right?

2090
02:01:03.279 --> 02:01:03.439
Uh?

2091
02:01:03.520 --> 02:01:05.640
Hum?

2092
02:01:05.840 --> 02:01:08.720
Is cereal really soup? Why or why not?

2093
02:01:10.840 --> 02:01:11.039
No?

2094
02:01:12.039 --> 02:01:12.920
Cereals not soup.

2095
02:01:12.960 --> 02:01:20.960
It's and liquid not always dry cereal different well dry cereal.

2096
02:01:21.079 --> 02:01:22.159
You eat dry cereal.

2097
02:01:22.720 --> 02:01:23.000
Yep.

2098
02:01:23.439 --> 02:01:27.039
And I did my bananas in my rice crispies crunch crunch.

2099
02:01:27.800 --> 02:01:31.039
Oh, so yo, you know what? You know what?

2100
02:01:31.479 --> 02:01:34.239
You know what bananas of rice crisp crispy is always

2101
02:01:34.319 --> 02:01:37.199
like hit like it's like the perfect you know what

2102
02:01:37.199 --> 02:01:37.840
I'm saying.

2103
02:01:38.000 --> 02:01:40.960
What kind of rice crispies? Because I got the frosty.

2104
02:01:40.600 --> 02:01:47.119
Crispies, nougar like that in my body.

2105
02:01:49.399 --> 02:01:51.039
I blew myself a bowl.

2106
02:01:50.840 --> 02:01:53.640
Of rice crispies, take my banana and shove it in

2107
02:01:53.720 --> 02:01:57.920
the rice crispy and eat the end off of it.

2108
02:01:57.960 --> 02:01:59.279
Sound is so therty.

2109
02:01:59.399 --> 02:02:04.960
That's how yo. That sounds so sexual? Yo ho yo?

2110
02:02:05.199 --> 02:02:05.640
How do you?

2111
02:02:06.000 --> 02:02:07.880
How do you turn like breakfast into like you know

2112
02:02:07.880 --> 02:02:10.880
what I'm saying, like one like a sexual for play method.

2113
02:02:13.159 --> 02:02:16.800
It's my gift you you made.

2114
02:02:19.720 --> 02:02:22.600
With that. With that being said, it was an amazing

2115
02:02:22.680 --> 02:02:27.199
show tonight. Was spitting balls like crazy tonight. She did

2116
02:02:27.199 --> 02:02:27.840
a great job.

2117
02:02:29.640 --> 02:02:32.800
That's that's that's the norm though, that's the norm.

2118
02:02:32.880 --> 02:02:34.600
I know that that is the norm. That's why she's

2119
02:02:34.840 --> 02:02:36.039
so loved by everybody.

2120
02:02:36.560 --> 02:02:38.520
For all those men out there, you need to pick

2121
02:02:38.600 --> 02:02:44.479
up your computers and email a sister no cordo.

2122
02:02:48.159 --> 02:02:50.840
With that, with thank you for everybody that came in today.

2123
02:02:50.960 --> 02:02:53.720
Thank you for everyone who stood the whole time. We

2124
02:02:53.800 --> 02:02:57.880
appreciate the things. I will get the information out to everybody.

2125
02:02:58.279 --> 02:03:03.760
I'll post it on the fan page, the emails for

2126
02:03:03.840 --> 02:03:08.760
all the hosts. And we're good, we're good, and and

2127
02:03:08.960 --> 02:03:11.680
thanks for for being here. Man. We appreciate the fans

2128
02:03:11.880 --> 02:03:13.119
and where we got a lot of good ship.

2129
02:03:14.680 --> 02:03:16.319
It was also surprise that we did it on a

2130
02:03:16.359 --> 02:03:16.920
Sunday too.

2131
02:03:17.439 --> 02:03:19.039
Yeah, that's the first Sunday we never did.

2132
02:03:20.239 --> 02:03:25.119
You know what, actually, you know what happened someday. You

2133
02:03:25.159 --> 02:03:27.079
know what. Sundays are pretty good. I ain't gonna lie like.

2134
02:03:27.199 --> 02:03:28.760
You know, except during the football season.

2135
02:03:28.800 --> 02:03:38.520
Let's get it exactly, exactly exactly because you know, because

2136
02:03:38.520 --> 02:03:39.039
we're men.

2137
02:03:41.960 --> 02:03:51.880
If you don't stop, you will get meno polls menstro

2138
02:03:53.359 --> 02:03:54.239
all right, all right.

2139
02:03:54.159 --> 02:03:58.479
With that, with that be remember her peace.

2140
02:04:01.000 --> 02:04:06.920
Anyway, anyway, anyway, with that being said, I've been Cordon.

2141
02:04:07.359 --> 02:04:10.159
That's lad you that look thought, that's dubs of Dawn,

2142
02:04:10.399 --> 02:04:14.840
Simon Phoenix. It was a great night. Thanks for being here,

2143
02:04:15.319 --> 02:04:19.000
and always know it that at some point it's my heart.

2144
02:04:19.640 --> 02:04:23.960
Good night, everybody, Bones and nachos.