May 7, 2025

Absolute Sunday (Recorded Live On 5-4-25)

Absolute Sunday (Recorded Live On 5-4-25)

May The 4th Be With You, Because today we're Tackling fan e-mails, as well as the mind F*ck that's called life!! You never know what's going to pop off on a Sunday! Lets start the NEW WEEK off right!!!! If thinking of the up coming week doesn't...

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May The 4th Be With You, Because today we're Tackling fan e-mails, as well as the mind F*ck that's called life!! You never know what's going to pop off on a Sunday! Lets start the NEW WEEK off right!!!! If thinking of the up coming week doesn't hurt..... Then This Might!!!!

Become a supporter of this podcast:https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/this-might-hurt-podcast--3239767/support.

WEBVTT

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Mhm, what's up everybody? This is a big holding your

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own hair, whether this might her podcast, coming to you

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live from wherever you want us to be coming live from.

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I'm bringing my co host, Lady G.

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Lady G was good, good evening ladies and gentlemen's.

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Yes, how are you?

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I am wonderful and you I'm.

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I'm pretty good. I'm pretty pretty good, you know, handling things,

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you know, not yelling and screaming, which is good.

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What do you have to be yelling and screaming about,

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I don't know.

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You know, the world.

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Yeah.

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Actually, actually, actually the dog was just barking. I had

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to tell her to hush it up. We were going live,

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and she just chilled out.

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Oh yeah, the world. That that's definitely something to be

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yelling and screaming about.

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Yeah. So, you know, I just want to let everybody

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know that we were supposed to a show Wednesday, but due

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to circumstances beyond my control, our control, everybody's control, Verizon

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had some issues that day.

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They had other plans.

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Yeah, they did, they really did. And yeah, I was

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on the phone with them like four times. I was like, listen, man,

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you gotta and they were like, now it's outers in

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your area, and I was like, all right, go whatever,

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so you know how to deal with it. So we're

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here now, absolute Sunday. Yes, how was your week?

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Uh? My week was awesome, wonderful, great. Anytime you know,

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I make it through the week, it's a wonderful, wonderful thing.

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So yeah, that's good.

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Well that that that's a good thing. That's definitely a

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good thing. Not killing anybody.

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Yeah, yeah, my daughter made it back from her senior

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trip in one piece, so that's you know.

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That's good. Yeah, that's that's that's great. My My week

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was was pretty chill except for freaking Wednesday that was

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that was disaster. But you know, we're here. You know,

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I'm not I'm not gonna I'm not gonna complain, but

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you know, so Simon Phoenix should be here soon. I

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don't know if if TG is gonna pop in, but

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let's let's just let's just get right right to it.

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Let's get let's jump right in there. Now. We're gonna

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start with an email that I got.

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Hey, guys, how come you don't send me any email?

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You know what? Actually, actually, let's do this, let's do

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this right now. Let's do this right now now for

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any of the fans of the show that oh all right,

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hold on, hold up real quick. All right, so we

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got a message from midnight.

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Thank you Midnight, We've missed being missed.

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Absolutely, and then actually Christina holds the top fan badge

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on the fan page. Yes she does.

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Well, thank you Christina for being so faithful.

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And then this is Heather saying hello, Hello, how are

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you now? Now, now, now that we're here, we're going

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to do it like this. Let's talk about this. If anyone,

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anyone wants to reach out to any of she said absolutely,

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this absolute Sunday. So absolutely anyone wants to be out

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to any specific host the cost of co host of

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the show, send send a send a request and I'll

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get you the email to that specific host and you

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can email directly. You can email the host directly and

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have conversation. You know what I'm saying. You can you know,

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ask for advice or an opinion for that specific host.

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All you got to do is shoot a PM and

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I'll get you that information. And you know, because what

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we wanted, what I wanted, what I really want to

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do is I want to get I want to get

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some some fans in here that can share their story

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and their experiences with us live. Right, So if anyone

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has a story or has experienced something, hold on me.

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Let one second. All right, what's up? You're good.

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He's frozen, Dubs is frozen.

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So, like I was.

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Saying, my arm so terrorists.

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Yeah, so yeah, you're frozen. You have to pop in

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and out. So anyway, so like I was saying, if.

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Anybody come get your brother, best friend me, I'm not

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I'm not playing.

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No, just hold on, hold on, So anybody anybody pants

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on you already?

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Bro?

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Who's he's that bad connection?

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Yeah? Your connection is bad. I'm outside, I know, but

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your connection, your your face is frozen. You're not moving,

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you're not doing nothing, So reload. You're good now, I'll

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try try try.

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I'm good.

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Nah, you're delayed. You're delayed.

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Relo alright, bet hold on? All right?

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So what I was saying, quick question? What's this? Quick question?

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You're sure it was a WiFi someone?

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All right?

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All right, all right, real funny, real funny, My my

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my WiFi. Bill was definitely paid. All right, my wife Bill.

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That's why he's in the car. He got homeless.

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Man.

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You're good, Yeah, it's working now all right, so let

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me get back to what I was saying. Let me

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get back to what I was saying. So what I

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want to do is I want to get some fans

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to come in here live. I want them to be

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able to share their their experiences, their story with us

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while we listen and give feedback. So if there any

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if we come across any fans that want to do

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something like that, just send the send a message and

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I'll tell you where to send it.

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Hold on, uh banners, they're scrolling across the bottom the

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information you you might want to, you might need.

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It's there. Anybody wants to come on live like like, yeah,

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right on camera with us. I mean, you know, you

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you could do you can do a little avatar or

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whatever it is. But if if you want your voice

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to be heard, you want to talk, whatever it is,

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let us know will get you on. You know what

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I'm saying.

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Yes, you could be like me, just a beautiful voice

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over the radio.

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Absolutely absolutely, just the picture you know what I'm saying,

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that's animated and all that stuff.

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Mm hmm.

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All right, so yeah, that's all right. So now I

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have I have a bunch of things that we're going

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to get to but but I would, oh hold on,

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oh you would, so you would like to share with

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us midnight if you if you really want to, just

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you know, let me know and we'll get you on.

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But anyway, I have I have an email here that

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uh oh, what's this?

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I can't read's fishing.

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Man. Look but don't blow up this heady the Christina.

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I don't need now. But like you guys been man,

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we took a little hiatus.

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Yeah. Yeah, everybody. Everybody's everybody's good man. Everybody's chilling, you know,

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doing all that.

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I had to heal from the uh uh I needed

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healing from you?

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What I do.

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Just being you?

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Yeah, well, I mean I'm not I'm not for the

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you know? Was that what I was?

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Wow?

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I lost the word I was looking for. Never mind no.

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Like, so hold up so real quick, let me get

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to this to this one specific this one specific email.

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It kind of Oh by the way, I went to

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go see Thunderbolts Thursday. It's a really good movie. Go

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check it out. It's it's it's got ninety on rotten

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tomato with means it's certified fresh. Definitely go, definitely go

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check that film. I've got some dark undertones. But it's

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a really good film. It's home in some stocks.

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I want to see The Centers, man, Like, that's what

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I want to see.

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I heard that was a really good movie itself. Yeah,

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I heard it was really good.

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I've seen a lot of people complaining that.

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You know, a certain you know, a certain group was

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complaining about why they wasn't represented the movies.

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But it's in the South nineteen thirty two of keeping

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it historical.

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So so I was like, the fuck you complaining about

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you know what I'm saying, Like, no, you know what,

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there's any Latinos in Mississippi in the thirty thirties, you

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know what I'm saying.

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If anything, they were like in Texas and California.

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You know what I'm saying, Like there was there was

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barely anybody, you know what I'm saying, Like you know,

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you know they complained about why Chinese people was there

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and whatever because they were there in the thirties.

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You see what I mean, Like like you know what.

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It was it was time accurate.

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Yeah, you know, like it was time accurate.

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So it's like yepp and you I don't know, bro,

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It's like it's like it's that complaining about I'll come.

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You know what I'm saying.

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There's no timber and boots in the seventeen fifties, see

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what I mean? Like it doesn't make sense.

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Right, So so real quick, let me get let me

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get to this, to this email. Right. So, how do

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you how do you find the strength to leave an

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eight year relationship when you're terrified of being alone? Okay? Now,

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I have been in a relationship with my partner for

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the past eight years. We've shared so much, so many milestones,

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every day routines plan for the future. But over time,

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the thing things have changed. We've slowly grown apart. There's

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a general sense of dissatisfaction, and our visions of the

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future are no longer aligned. It's not dramatic or toxic,

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just it's just quiet painful. Oh, It's just a quiet,

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painful realization that we are no longer the right people

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for each other. Despite knowing this deep down, I still

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haven't found the strength to leave the idea of actually

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moving out of being alone in a silent apartment, especially

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at night. It scares me so much. I know this

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relationship isn't right for me anymore, but the fear of

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loneliness is strong I'm not sure how to face that emptiness.

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How do you come to terms with it? How do

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you go from sharing your life so closely with someone

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to suddenly being on your own. If you've been similar

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in a similar situation, or know someone that has, what

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helped you or that person get through it, how did

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you find the courage to take that final step to

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leave even when the alternative felt so scary. All right,

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we're gonna start off. You got to start off with

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doc daughter.

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Mm hmmm. I don't know if I'm the right one

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for this one, but anyway, So, as I've shared many

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times on the show, I was married for sixteen years

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and it was very similar like the idea. The end

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was very similar to that, the thought of this is

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not where we started, right, We're not the people that

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we used to be. Our goals are not aligning anymore.

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This seems to have become a a roommate situation and

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we actually had children, and so I can definitely connect

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with that fear of the unknown for the future, the loneliness,

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the being alone. Okay, so what helped me get through?

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And I know we don't talk about politics, religion and

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things like that on the show, but to be totally

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transparent and honest. I honestly had to say I have

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to say that with all of the things that I tried,

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because I was alone, you know, there was no family support.

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You know, I just didn't have any of that. Honestly,

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it was allowing what was going to happen to happen

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and telling myself that it was actually going to be

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okay to not be okay, knowing that this was going

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to be a change. And I can't lie. I'm six

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years later and I have my moments where I think back,

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like would it, could have, should have? But then at

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the same time, remember there's a reason why you approached

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the situation the way you did that, you had the

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conversation you did that it ended the way that it did.

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But I think at the end, the thing that helped

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me the most was my faith, seeking out my spirituality

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because you know what a lot of people don't realize

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is spirituality is not just religion. It's not just attending church.

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It's also about finding out who you are now. Because

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I think what we failed to realize as human beings

239
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is relationships and people change, They change over time. What

240
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we needed when we first got together is not what

241
00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:23.519
we need later on in the relationship actually being honest,

242
00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:27.079
and that's a big thing. You know. There was a

243
00:18:27.079 --> 00:18:33.640
conversation that was had between a group recently about them

244
00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:36.680
having an issue and not reaching out to their partner

245
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:41.920
about it, and so they were recommended and encouraged to

246
00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:46.519
let their partner know what was happening, especially because as

247
00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:52.000
women were nurturers. And I don't understand sometimes why men

248
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feel that if they share their pain, if they share

249
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their emotion, if they share their vulnerability, that the woman

250
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:04.039
is going to feel put upon or the woman is

251
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:07.640
going to automatically feel like they are a burden. And

252
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:09.880
a man doesn't want to be a burden to his

253
00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:13.440
woman or to his family, right, And and the truth

254
00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:18.680
of the matter absolutely, yeah, yeah, and and and the

255
00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:23.359
thing is when two people truly love and care about

256
00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:26.759
each other, we can get lost. We can get lost

257
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with each other, we can turn into the friendship, the roommateship.

258
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But it's on both people to come back together and

259
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say this is where I am right now, this is

260
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what I need, this is what I want. And then

261
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the other partner comes with their same thing, and you

262
00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:50.039
guys have to decide together this this is this is

263
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:52.519
what's best for us, this is what's not what not

264
00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:55.839
best for us, and so what do we need to

265
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do now? Because it would be such a wonderful thing

266
00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:04.480
if both people could come to that same agreement that

267
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:09.000
maybe this is where we stop, Maybe this is the

268
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:12.599
end of our road. You know, everything doesn't have to

269
00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:19.240
be horrible, you know. And the fear of being alone,

270
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:24.480
of course, it's a scary thing to think about. Yeah,

271
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and everybody's different, so it lasts for a different length

272
00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:33.960
for everybody, you know, but sometimes you know, to be

273
00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:38.279
totally honest, I had to lose my sixteen year marriage

274
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:44.279
to actually find myself, to actually find the pieces of

275
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me that I had lost along the way that I

276
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:51.119
didn't realize, and I realized that the person that I

277
00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:54.599
had become was not the person at twenty something years

278
00:20:54.599 --> 00:20:59.000
old that got married. I needed something different, and it

279
00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:01.079
doesn't have to be a better thing. I I will

280
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:03.519
not sit here and say that sixteen years of marriage

281
00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:07.680
was a waste, because it wasn't. If nothing else, it

282
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:13.480
was a lesson. It was it helped me grow, you know,

283
00:21:13.720 --> 00:21:18.240
because in any relationship, especially to last a few years,

284
00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:21.519
Like the person who sent the email, you learn more

285
00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:26.000
things about yourself, and you learn more things about other people.

286
00:21:27.079 --> 00:21:30.000
And I think when we're young, we go into relationships

287
00:21:30.599 --> 00:21:33.440
thinking that we're gonna find what we say are maydia

288
00:21:33.559 --> 00:21:37.839
naranca and that it's you know, maybia naranka, the other

289
00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:40.359
half of our orange, you know, our other half.

290
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:41.559
Is that Latin?

291
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:43.119
It's Spanish?

292
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:46.440
Oh wow? Yeah?

293
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:50.359
Half not all right, you know what you know what

294
00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:53.160
Like at first, I'm sorry, right at first, I was like,

295
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:55.680
you know, like no, like listening to whatever I'm like,

296
00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:58.359
and you said something. I was like, oh, look at

297
00:21:58.359 --> 00:22:00.920
this one talking you know, like you know or the

298
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:04.160
Roman Latin. Let me find out that sophificated.

299
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:06.720
Did you not know this?

300
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:16.039
Jubbs, No, I'm sorry, go ahead, go ahead because like

301
00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:18.240
everything you're saying, you know, like like you know, I'm

302
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:18.839
not gonna counter.

303
00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:21.480
I'm gonna agree, but I'm gonna add your own stuff.

304
00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:24.519
Yeah. Yeah, And that's important too, because I think we

305
00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:28.119
forget that we as women feel one type of way

306
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.880
about the same situation that a man feels another type

307
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:34.799
of way about. But what happens is we end up

308
00:22:34.839 --> 00:22:38.279
not talking to each other because we're so afraid. So

309
00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:41.680
imagine this, We're so afraid to be alone. But how

310
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:45.200
about we're so afraid to talk to the person that

311
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:47.599
we're supposed to be the most vulnerable with and trust

312
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:51.359
the most, but we won't. So you either do or

313
00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:55.359
you don't. You know, maybe the relationship is still for you,

314
00:22:56.279 --> 00:22:58.640
but you haven't put your you know, you can't expect

315
00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:01.160
something from somebody else that you, yourself, are not willing

316
00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:03.839
to give, you know, So if you want somebody else

317
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:06.119
to be vulnerable, you also have to put yourself out

318
00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:10.799
there to be vulnerable too. But yeah, and the fear,

319
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:18.000
the fear of alone, Yeah, that's real, that's real. Especially, yeah,

320
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:22.799
especially when you have created a life together. You're losing

321
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:28.160
what you thought was forever. And so yes, that's scary

322
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:34.720
that it's terrifying, you know, again being transparent. Still, when

323
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:39.200
I got divorced, my fear was not just that I

324
00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:43.880
would be alone. It was more, I'm gonna end up

325
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:47.119
raising my kids alone? How am I going to afford

326
00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:51.480
a mortgage alone? How am I going to afford groceries alone?

327
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:56.240
And who's gonna love me? You know? My bed is

328
00:23:56.319 --> 00:24:00.759
now empty, and when I need to I have a

329
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:09.039
tough day, there's nobody there to comfort me. Unfortunately, in

330
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:13.400
my situation, it didn't matter because even when that person

331
00:24:13.640 --> 00:24:18.440
was here, I still don't feel that I received those things.

332
00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:23.400
So it was like, okay, but if we change nothing,

333
00:24:23.480 --> 00:24:28.319
nothing changes, you know, So we find ourselves getting to

334
00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:32.680
the point in our life where the situation is so bad.

335
00:24:32.920 --> 00:24:36.240
And and like the person that sent the email said,

336
00:24:36.759 --> 00:24:40.079
but I know that this relation is not for me anymore. Right,

337
00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:43.559
So if you already know that, who better knows you

338
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:48.279
than yourself? If you already know that sometimes drastic times

339
00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:52.880
call for drastic measures, and nothing changes unless we change it.

340
00:24:56.799 --> 00:25:00.880
Right, Because the person said that they're already known, right,

341
00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:04.720
See is that? And is that you know what? Like

342
00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:06.759
in their mind, they're already they're already breaking up with

343
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:11.640
this person, right, They just you know, like it's like

344
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:14.640
if you know what like like every like you know

345
00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:16.720
what one thing I noticed that everything is like an addiction,

346
00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:20.000
even a person, you know, like you're around the person

347
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:22.079
so long, that's an addiction.

348
00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:28.000
So when they leave, you know, you you know what

349
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.640
I'm saying, They're scared of that, you know what I'm saying.

350
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:35.759
The detoxing, you see what I mean. It's like I

351
00:25:35.799 --> 00:25:39.599
could I could compare it to and believe me.

352
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:41.319
And the reason why I'm making this comparison is because

353
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:42.440
I've actually been through it before.

354
00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:49.079
Right, A breakup is like your detop.

355
00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:51.160
You know what I'm saying, Like like a relationship is

356
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:55.720
like someone take a heroine or me popping pills, you know,

357
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:59.799
good times, bad times, whatever. And then when it was

358
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:03.039
and then when it was like over and said and

359
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:06.880
done with, you don't know what to do your detoxing.

360
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.640
You're going through it, You're going through the pains, you

361
00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:10.240
know what I'm saying. Like I went through physical pain

362
00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:12.400
like when I broke you know, like my last relationship

363
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:15.799
prior to this one, right, I didn't speak much of anything.

364
00:26:16.039 --> 00:26:18.279
I just cried. I cried inside a bottle.

365
00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:21.519
I cried to a bottle, and I started doing more

366
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:25.279
stuff to like not think of anything, like just numb

367
00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:29.119
it out, you know. Like but the fear was like, oh,

368
00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:31.799
I'm gonna be alone. But yet at the same time though,

369
00:26:31.920 --> 00:26:34.920
it was like I already knew time was up because

370
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:38.799
like I didn't because I didn't want to look at

371
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:42.960
you know, my toxic trade and nothing, you know, And

372
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.559
then like you know, I went through that and then

373
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:46.960
like one day I just woke up I was like,

374
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:47.240
you know.

375
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:50.920
What, I should take this time to myself and.

376
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:56.599
Really really dived, like you know, dive deep into like

377
00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:00.440
why I am the way I am? And I took

378
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:02.720
and cordel and now we will talk, right And I

379
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:05.960
told them I was like, yo, remember like every time,

380
00:27:05.960 --> 00:27:07.839
like you know, I was with a relationship, we break up,

381
00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:10.000
I'll like stress for two weeks and next you know,

382
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:12.039
I got a new girl. And just like you know,

383
00:27:12.119 --> 00:27:14.920
like I always had like a backup plan because I

384
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:18.119
was scared to be alone. I always had a backup

385
00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:21.839
plan always. The last time I didn't have one, and

386
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:23.559
I purposely did that. I was like, you know what,

387
00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:27.480
you knew what it was like. I was tired of running,

388
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.920
you know, because I because like you know what, like

389
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:32.839
I was tired of like trying to put my hand

390
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:34.599
up my ass on the stop ship when I couldn't

391
00:27:34.599 --> 00:27:38.240
stop it. You can't stop ship, so get your hand

392
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:42.759
out to direct them, you know. And it was by

393
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:45.359
the way, but but yo, you know what it is.

394
00:27:46.079 --> 00:27:47.359
It is you know what I'm saying. It is a

395
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:52.680
metaphor saying like, yo, I know what happened now now

396
00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:58.079
you know, at first I'm saying being a lone part,

397
00:27:58.119 --> 00:28:01.880
you know, like doodling fingers and know, like you start reminiscing,

398
00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:03.759
you start having all those you know, saying those you

399
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:05.559
reminisce about the good times when you try to you

400
00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:07.079
know what I'm saying, Like you don't think about like

401
00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:10.440
what led up to that point, right it's there, you know,

402
00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:14.319
like you start you know, like boohooing or whatever, and

403
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:16.599
then like, you know, because that's what I did. And

404
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:19.119
then like you know, like I would say, like two

405
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:22.039
three months in, you know what I'm saying, like the

406
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:24.920
weather changed, I started going outside.

407
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:26.759
I was ad, you know what.

408
00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:29.480
I'm starting, I'm kind of I'm kind of I'm starting

409
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:31.880
to like, you know, the idea of like I don't

410
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:34.119
have to answer to nobody and this kid and they'd like,

411
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:35.720
you know, like I was picking at the petty parts

412
00:28:35.720 --> 00:28:38.279
of it first, but then I started realizing, I'm like,

413
00:28:39.640 --> 00:28:41.559
I don't even like like like you know, like one day,

414
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:43.519
like I was at the pier by myself at one

415
00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:46.640
in the morning, head phones on right, looking at New

416
00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:51.279
York slight, little win and then it dawned on me.

417
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.559
Who the hell are you? You don't even know yourself?

418
00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:59.200
I would I would purposely get lost in other and

419
00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:01.799
other people because I was too scared to know who

420
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:09.519
I was. Because I was too scared, Like you said, fear,

421
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:11.480
fear will you know? Fear will you know?

422
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:15.400
Fear is a big motivating Fear will have you doing the.

423
00:29:15.319 --> 00:29:17.440
Most irrational things.

424
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:20.279
It's crazy. It's crazy that that that this guy.

425
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:22.599
To do that.

426
00:29:23.799 --> 00:29:32.839
Yeah, it says, yeah, male thirty one.

427
00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:33.960
Male like like like like, look, you know what, all right,

428
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:38.000
you know what? Another thing too, right, because because I'm

429
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:40.160
gonna put I'm gonna put the business out there. It

430
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:43.200
was me that that that brought it, that brought up

431
00:29:43.319 --> 00:29:45.920
to the group, and I was scared that I was

432
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:49.880
being a burden to my woman because and here's the

433
00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:56.279
reason why. So right now, I'm currently not working. I

434
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:58.680
got you know, I got to an accident four years ago.

435
00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:03.920
Still going through the litigations of everything, spinal cord injury.

436
00:30:04.599 --> 00:30:08.160
You know, like it's raining right now. I'm feeling it. Oh,

437
00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:15.440
I'm feeling it. And you know, like like it's gotten

438
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:17.920
to the point where like the like like you know,

439
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.279
like I got nerve damage and I got chronic pain,

440
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:24.440
like it's chronic. Like it's gone to the point where

441
00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:27.279
I'm seeing like a therapist for pain, you know, because

442
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:31.039
like because like you know what, pain really changes people, man,

443
00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:34.000
Like pain changes your whole outlook, especially with chronic pain

444
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:36.759
or whatever, and like and like you know what, like

445
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:40.079
it gets to the point sometimes where I literally want

446
00:30:40.119 --> 00:30:42.240
to jump out the window and break my back completely,

447
00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:46.559
you know, like it's it's that bad. And like I

448
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:49.599
don't talk about it, you know, like because I don't

449
00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:52.200
want to worry my girl and stuff, especially that we

450
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.160
have a baby upstairs. And then like you know, she's

451
00:30:56.200 --> 00:30:58.160
the one that you know, like like as of right now,

452
00:30:58.200 --> 00:30:59.920
you know what I'm saying, she's the breadwinner, even though

453
00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:02.880
like you know, I get you know, like workers comp

454
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:04.039
and and.

455
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:05.319
My veterans checked.

456
00:31:05.839 --> 00:31:08.480
But I feel as if, like you know what, like

457
00:31:09.640 --> 00:31:10.960
this is where you know what I'm saying, Like I

458
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:13.680
can actually say the toxic masculinity in me is still

459
00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:15.640
there because I feel like, you know, it's not fair

460
00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:16.559
to her that she works.

461
00:31:16.599 --> 00:31:18.319
She should be home. I'm the one's supposed to be working,

462
00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:19.720
you know what I'm saying.

463
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:21.839
I'm the one that's supposed to be like doing all this,

464
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:24.079
and yet it falls on her, you know what I'm saying,

465
00:31:24.799 --> 00:31:29.240
Like certain things like today, Like today, like I try

466
00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:33.000
to clean up and you know, you try cleaning up

467
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:34.640
after a toddler man, like she would just make a

468
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:37.279
mess on whatever. And it's frustrating, and like, you know,

469
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:43.240
I wanted to, you know, I want to, like you know,

470
00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:45.440
make sure you know what I'm saying, like make the

471
00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:49.119
house look clean or whatever at least and.

472
00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:53.559
Talents man, you.

473
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:56.160
Know, so like you know, like she like you know,

474
00:31:56.240 --> 00:31:58.400
she's cleaning up and like see his little stuff like

475
00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:02.200
that that makes me feel like I'm less I'm less

476
00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:05.440
of you know what I'm saying. And it's because you know,

477
00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:08.960
like like you know, like it's out of my you know,

478
00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:11.559
like it's out of my hands. But it's like I

479
00:32:11.640 --> 00:32:14.200
always refer to that if this was in my hands,

480
00:32:14.200 --> 00:32:16.960
this wouldn't be happening, which is true, but guess what

481
00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:18.960
those were my plans?

482
00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:22.119
God had other plans, you see what I mean.

483
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:26.119
So so like so I've brought you know, I brought

484
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:28.160
it to the you know, to the group and whatever

485
00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:32.400
you know about how like you know, like like this thing,

486
00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:34.960
this whole ordeals like really affected me and whatever.

487
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:36.640
And I don't want to tell my girl that because

488
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:37.640
I don't want her to worry.

489
00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:40.920
But she's gonna worry anyways, because you know what, when

490
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:42.799
she asked me questions, sometimes I sit in silence and

491
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:45.599
tell her I'm okay when I'm far from it, you know.

492
00:32:46.119 --> 00:32:46.640
And it's like.

493
00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:49.519
It's like, you know, what in the evor that we

494
00:32:49.799 --> 00:32:52.880
that that we grew up in you know, gihn X, right,

495
00:32:55.680 --> 00:32:59.799
we we came up and ever where crying was kind

496
00:32:59.799 --> 00:33:00.759
of round upon.

497
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:05.640
Whatever. You know, like you don't cry in front of people,

498
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:06.319
you know what I'm saying.

499
00:33:06.359 --> 00:33:08.400
Like it's like, you know, like you straight face it

500
00:33:08.920 --> 00:33:12.640
even if it hurts.

501
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:15.279
Right, And to this day, I'm trying to unlearn that

502
00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:18.279
because you know what, h this is.

503
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:20.119
This is part of the reason why like you know,

504
00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:24.559
a lot of us, like you know, for damaged. I

505
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:27.440
ain't gonna say sort of damage. No, we're damaged, you know,

506
00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:32.240
just from that alone. And you know, like I'm trying

507
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:37.319
to unlearn that. And and yeah, you know what, you know,

508
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:40.359
you know, my sister's on a podcast.

509
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:40.880
You know what I'm saying.

510
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:45.000
The game The game is like verbal spanking right as

511
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:46.440
to like you know, like while I'm not you know,

512
00:33:47.519 --> 00:33:48.880
like you know, and this that and the third but

513
00:33:48.920 --> 00:33:49.559
I'm telling them.

514
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:50.799
You know, I'm gonna say it again.

515
00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:55.160
I'm trying to unlearn that, you know, because like when

516
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:59.400
you're used to doing something for so long, right, it

517
00:33:59.480 --> 00:34:02.279
becomes part of you. So it's like now you're trying

518
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:04.920
to learn things, you know, because like it's it's a dawn,

519
00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:07.920
you know, it's a new day and age and er,

520
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:09.880
and you're trying to learn things.

521
00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:12.760
And sometimes like certain things is like I said, or

522
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:13.719
not you know.

523
00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:16.800
Right, and and it's and it's not because you know

524
00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:19.079
and and and you know what in a way it

525
00:34:19.159 --> 00:34:21.000
is because like I don't want to see as weak

526
00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:21.840
as I am.

527
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.440
But it's not, it's not it's not that it's not

528
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:25.719
that true. It's not that you're weak.

529
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:28.400
But the truth is, you know what I'm saying, at

530
00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:30.880
this very moment in time, I am weak, like I'm

531
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:31.920
speaking on it right now.

532
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:35.000
You know, Like so you you.

533
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:38.280
Feel you feel that that that you're you're weak. What

534
00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:40.960
what's making I understand that you you're you're in a

535
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:44.920
position right now that's making you feel less of right,

536
00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:50.440
but you can't control the circumstances at this point for you.

537
00:34:50.599 --> 00:34:52.599
But you also but also but listen, but hold up

538
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:58.440
but also you you're doing what you can as part

539
00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:01.440
of what you need to do to get things done.

540
00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:03.800
You know what I'm saying, Like you're you're doing You're

541
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:04.840
doing your part, bro.

542
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:07.800
I mean but see, but see, you know what the

543
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:10.760
problem is, right, The problem is right. And I don't

544
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:12.559
know if like a lot of men field this way

545
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:17.000
is that there's always like you always feel like you

546
00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:17.960
could do a lot more.

547
00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:21.159
Oh right, I don't know exactly how exactly what.

548
00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:21.960
You mean, you know.

549
00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:25.639
So so it's like, you know what what I'm doing

550
00:35:25.639 --> 00:35:28.320
with myself, I'm kind of playing myself because I'm pushing

551
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:30.599
myself to like a certain expectation and then I'm not

552
00:35:30.679 --> 00:35:33.079
beating it. So I'm getting mad at myself. I don't

553
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:35.639
know why I do it. That's a master that that

554
00:35:35.639 --> 00:35:39.400
that is some masochistic ship by the way, right, And

555
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:42.199
it's like and and and it's like you know what,

556
00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:43.960
like I end up like, you know, like kicking myself,

557
00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:49.480
you know, but but as a good but but you know,

558
00:35:49.559 --> 00:35:52.519
like you know, you know, like back to that day,

559
00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:55.159
you know, like I did open up and like you know, speak,

560
00:35:55.960 --> 00:35:57.960
I said what I felt because but then at the

561
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:01.079
same time too, is like it's like, you know what,

562
00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:03.039
like I can't speak for every male out here, but

563
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:07.320
I can show speak for me that Sometimes it's like,

564
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:09.800
you know, like we'll be feeling something. We'll be feeling

565
00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:11.599
like some way and we don't know how to express

566
00:36:11.639 --> 00:36:14.360
it because it like, like I said, you know what,

567
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:18.159
I'm so used to like you know, keeping it all

568
00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:22.280
a bout within that right, finding the words to you know.

569
00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:28.960
Speak on it. It's like it's like, let's call it.

570
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:32.199
Trying to you know, I'm saying, it's like trying to

571
00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:36.760
read Braille as a first time, you know, like it's

572
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:37.519
it's hard.

573
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:41.800
So but as of late, you know, as of late.

574
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:43.360
Like you know, like like you know, like I'll go

575
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:45.199
through the motions and then I'll think about it. I'm like,

576
00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:47.320
all right, you know what this is how I'm feeling,

577
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:50.480
you know, and then like you know, I'll speak on it.

578
00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:52.920
But this is after, you know, this is after like

579
00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:54.719
you know, I went I went through, like you know,

580
00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:56.320
the the motions of it.

581
00:36:57.039 --> 00:37:01.760
So so back to to to what I know how

582
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:04.480
you feel. I know where you're I know where you're going.

583
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:08.280
I know exactly what it is you're you're you're going

584
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:13.599
through because see my my, My take on this is that, look,

585
00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:20.599
I was in a very very very long really this

586
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:22.800
is why this, this this email kind of hit home

587
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:28.679
for me because I was in a twenty twenty two,

588
00:37:28.920 --> 00:37:34.159
twenty two year relationship and you know, I kind of

589
00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:38.360
it's it's over. It's been over for a long time now.

590
00:37:39.159 --> 00:37:41.840
And I had to do with this, with this dude

591
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:47.079
that's thinking about doing. I had to get up. I had.

592
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:50.800
It took me a while to realize that this this

593
00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:53.920
isn't it, you know what I'm saying, And this is it,

594
00:37:54.559 --> 00:37:59.599
you know what I mean. So the circumstances were a

595
00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:04.599
bit differ because I knew for a long time it

596
00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:07.280
was a rap, you know what I'm saying. I knew

597
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:09.960
for a long time it was a rap, and you

598
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:16.639
know it. And I and I stayed for different reasons,

599
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:22.719
and I I realized that I didn't have to, but

600
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:31.000
the father in me and the the person that that

601
00:38:31.079 --> 00:38:35.119
didn't have what I didn't have growing up, wanted to

602
00:38:35.159 --> 00:38:39.280
give what I didn't have to them. So I stood

603
00:38:39.880 --> 00:38:43.360
a lot longer than I was supposed to that I

604
00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:49.760
should have. And when I finally built up what I

605
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:55.519
needed to get out, I did and I came. I

606
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:58.760
came here and I was it was empty. There was

607
00:38:58.760 --> 00:39:03.760
an echo that was I had a I came with

608
00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:06.119
nothing but the clothes on my back. I had to

609
00:39:06.159 --> 00:39:11.360
rebuild completely. And not that it was it was it

610
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:18.960
was really hard because I understand about the silence and

611
00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:25.000
the the not not hearing things, and then the echoes

612
00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:29.199
of of of of what's out there and the silence

613
00:39:29.239 --> 00:39:34.880
and the anxiety and the pain and everything you whe

614
00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:38.039
one thing after the other, you know what I'm saying.

615
00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:41.760
And I went I literally went through that. I went

616
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:45.039
through that process, and I'm not going to front. Sometimes

617
00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:49.719
I find myself pacing, I find myself puddling in my

618
00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:53.079
fucking thumbs, like what am I doing? You know? And

619
00:39:54.440 --> 00:39:58.599
it's lonely, lonely, hold on lone hold. The loneliness is

620
00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:04.239
no fucking joke. Loneliness that that feeling and and that

621
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:08.679
that you get when you are alone and there's no

622
00:40:08.719 --> 00:40:11.800
one here to talk to. I have I have the

623
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:16.159
dog where she's over there somewhere by the way. She's

624
00:40:16.199 --> 00:40:18.159
looking at me right now with the side I like, yeah,

625
00:40:18.199 --> 00:40:22.679
I know you're talking about me, but yeah, I have

626
00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:25.760
the dogs. But I have the dog. But I mean

627
00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:30.760
other than that, I have my kids, I have my grandkids,

628
00:40:31.519 --> 00:40:34.119
and outside of that, you know what I'm saying. I mean,

629
00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:39.039
it's tough, it's hard. It's the realization of loneliness, is

630
00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:43.199
I mean, it is real. Yeah, the pain, the pain

631
00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:48.159
is real, and you can't you can't. You can't escape

632
00:40:48.199 --> 00:40:52.280
that feeling that you have inside, that emptiness you have inside,

633
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:56.880
you know, and you try your best to overcome that

634
00:40:57.079 --> 00:41:00.800
by filling your time with things. But all you gotta

635
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:04.880
come home. You gotta come home, and you gotta face

636
00:41:04.920 --> 00:41:08.199
the fact that there's no one here but the dog.

637
00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:11.639
I know, I know, just I know, I know you're there,

638
00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:17.760
I see you. But you gotta understand that loneliness is

639
00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:22.519
a real thing, and and the struggle to find.

640
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:25.159
The good thing there's also no there's also a good

641
00:41:25.159 --> 00:41:27.480
thing though, Like like, you know, I'm sorry to cut

642
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:28.519
you off, you know what I'm saying, but.

643
00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:30.360
Like, no, you're not. Can you do it all the time?

644
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:33.039
I'm sorry, but you know what, I'm trying to buy

645
00:41:33.079 --> 00:41:34.519
my tongue and I'm like, yo, but this is a

646
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:37.519
good thing, though, Bro, you come home. Yeah, there's nothing

647
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:39.960
that's quiet, but you're there's you know what I'm saying,

648
00:41:39.960 --> 00:41:42.599
but there's one thing that you got that you probably

649
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.840
that you know, like this person who probably don't have right.

650
00:41:44.719 --> 00:41:47.840
Now, is a peace of mind.

651
00:41:48.440 --> 00:41:50.320
You know, like it's a peace of mind because like

652
00:41:51.519 --> 00:41:53.320
it's silence, it's peace, you know what I'm saying. Like

653
00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:56.320
some people don't understand with how important a peace of

654
00:41:56.360 --> 00:41:59.320
mind is, you know what I'm saying, because like everyone's

655
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:01.880
so used to be miserably happy.

656
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:06.440
See it's out of all right, So peace of mind.

657
00:42:06.519 --> 00:42:09.320
Piece like I have. I have peace of mind, you

658
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:11.480
know what I'm saying. Like my my bills are paid,

659
00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:15.360
the kids are good, the grandkids are good. You know

660
00:42:15.400 --> 00:42:18.840
what I'm saying. The dog is chilling. I have, I

661
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:20.840
have piece of I have peace of mind, you know

662
00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:24.719
what I'm saying. But as far as far as far

663
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:28.920
as I feel like what I feel, you know what

664
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:31.360
I'm saying. I mean, I have, I built, I built

665
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:34.800
my piece up, you know what I mean. My piece

666
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:38.840
is important to me. And I'm not gonna allow. I'm

667
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:44.239
not gonna allow oh theo ho we got, I'm not

668
00:42:44.239 --> 00:42:50.800
gonna allow it's okay to come home to and and

669
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:55.519
that and that's true. It is absolutely it's absolutely true,

670
00:42:55.519 --> 00:42:58.360
you can come home and and still feel lonely, because

671
00:42:58.360 --> 00:43:01.480
that's what's going on me. Like I was, I'd be home,

672
00:43:01.519 --> 00:43:03.559
I'd be in a house full of people and still

673
00:43:03.559 --> 00:43:06.079
feel like what the fuck, Like like you know, I'm

674
00:43:06.119 --> 00:43:09.960
by myself, I'm alone. They're miserable, you know, and people

675
00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:15.519
people would actually that actually feel that need to go.

676
00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:19.679
That's something you shouldn't have to tolerate to to come

677
00:43:19.719 --> 00:43:22.280
home to a house full of people and still feel alone.

678
00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:25.679
That's what that that's that's part of the reasons why,

679
00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:27.519
like I knew, like it was time for me to be,

680
00:43:27.639 --> 00:43:30.199
like I'm out, I gotta I gotta go. And you

681
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:31.960
want to all you want to hear something funny, let

682
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:36.719
me tell you something funny. She literally said to me,

683
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:38.800
like I said, I told her. I was like, Yo,

684
00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:41.719
I'm out. I'm not going to tolerate this ship no more.

685
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:44.039
I'm out. And the first thing that came out out,

686
00:43:44.079 --> 00:43:45.800
you know what it was, Yeah, you ain't going nowhere.

687
00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:50.880
You believe that, you know why you believe that ship?

688
00:43:51.800 --> 00:43:54.360
She she looked at me right there in my face,

689
00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:54.800
she was like.

690
00:43:55.679 --> 00:43:57.360
I remember you told me that, And I was like,

691
00:43:58.039 --> 00:43:58.880
but do you know why?

692
00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:05.599
She said that why because of who you are, you

693
00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:10.679
did what you'd always done, so she she she knew

694
00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:13.039
you weren't going anywhere because you had done it so

695
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:19.000
many other times and didn't follow through, and so this

696
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:21.719
time she didn't believe you were going anywhere, and then

697
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:22.119
you did.

698
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:24.679
She just took it as an idol threat like like

699
00:44:24.960 --> 00:44:28.039
the times man, but like you know, but but you

700
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:30.280
know what, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna lie, you know,

701
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:32.280
like when you told me that, you know, you know,

702
00:44:32.360 --> 00:44:34.559
like I was like, I looked, remember I told you.

703
00:44:34.639 --> 00:44:36.960
I was like you sure you know?

704
00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:39.280
And he was like, yo, has to be done, and

705
00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:42.480
and honestly like I don't you know, like you know,

706
00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:44.840
like I don't like you know, like getting people's business

707
00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:46.800
and stuff like that. But I was like, all right, man,

708
00:44:46.840 --> 00:44:48.519
you know what I'm saying. And the next thing you

709
00:44:48.519 --> 00:44:52.480
know it, he was like, yo, I'm out. I said,

710
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.800
what stop playing? He was like, I'm out. He's already

711
00:44:55.840 --> 00:44:57.239
got couches coming over here, already found.

712
00:44:57.280 --> 00:45:00.440
I'm like, who whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa?

713
00:45:01.079 --> 00:45:01.760
Hold out man?

714
00:45:02.880 --> 00:45:05.440
You got what He's like, yeah, man about TV coming,

715
00:45:05.519 --> 00:45:08.599
And I'm like, yo, what.

716
00:45:09.719 --> 00:45:12.119
I'm said I was out, I was out.

717
00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:15.599
You know what, you know what, you know what, I

718
00:45:15.599 --> 00:45:18.840
was actually proud of you because like because you know what,

719
00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:20.800
every person you know, I'm saying that every everybody has

720
00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:23.880
a breaking point, right, and lord knows how many points

721
00:45:23.920 --> 00:45:25.639
you know what I'm saying, how many times you know

722
00:45:25.719 --> 00:45:27.920
you reached your breaking point.

723
00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:32.239
But you managed to like talk yourself out of it, you.

724
00:45:32.159 --> 00:45:34.679
Know, like fear of being alone?

725
00:45:35.239 --> 00:45:37.320
Yeah, yeah that too, that that that too, and you

726
00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:40.000
know what, like I never not once that I ever

727
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:42.039
be like like, nah, man, you're punking yourself out.

728
00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:45.159
Noah, you know what, because like because like you know what,

729
00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:46.639
in situations.

730
00:45:46.079 --> 00:45:49.000
Like that, you can't tell you know what I'm saying,

731
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:52.800
You can't antagonize them, you know what I'm saying. You

732
00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:55.760
just be there for them, like you gotta let them

733
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:57.880
breathe and like, you know, figure out, you know, like

734
00:45:58.159 --> 00:45:59.599
how like you know how they're going to make their

735
00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:03.440
escape out, you know. And that takes time too, you

736
00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:07.079
know because because anybody could talk about I'm leaving. You know,

737
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:08.920
in your mind you can talk about yeah, I'm out,

738
00:46:09.440 --> 00:46:11.719
but your heart is always gonna bring you back.

739
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:15.800
Yeah, but some people don't. But some people don't think

740
00:46:15.840 --> 00:46:20.559
about the fact that sometimes when you don't leave, even

741
00:46:20.599 --> 00:46:24.280
though you know it's not the right place, is has

742
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:26.920
nothing to do with that other person. It's because you

743
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:32.880
don't feel worthy, you don't feel like you're enough without them,

744
00:46:33.119 --> 00:46:35.400
you don't. And that's the and and not for nothing.

745
00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:38.679
I can't speak for for men, you know whatever.

746
00:46:38.719 --> 00:46:42.000
But but at this we go through that too.

747
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:43.280
We just don't say nothing.

748
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:49.239
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this is a good conversation, You're done.

749
00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:57.760
Yeah, okay. Being a therapist for twenty years, uh and

750
00:46:57.760 --> 00:47:04.760
and all the couples and things like that, I've seen

751
00:47:05.039 --> 00:47:10.239
so many different dynamics, so many different types of marriages,

752
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:15.000
types of relationships, and and the thing is, most of

753
00:47:15.039 --> 00:47:19.199
the time, the fear of being alone comes from someone's

754
00:47:20.199 --> 00:47:23.840
lack of feeling like enough, good enough, you know, like

755
00:47:24.840 --> 00:47:28.840
this is the best that I have had and I

756
00:47:28.840 --> 00:47:32.199
I don't think I don't have enough confidence in myself

757
00:47:32.519 --> 00:47:36.559
that I can do this by myself. When the truth is,

758
00:47:36.679 --> 00:47:40.639
I think when you can actually spend that time with yourself,

759
00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:46.320
when you can learn more about yourself, you actually start

760
00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:48.519
you actually start saying to yourself. Because I've even said

761
00:47:48.519 --> 00:47:50.480
it to myself A couple of times like how did

762
00:47:50.519 --> 00:47:54.280
they put up with me? Right? Because we don't don't

763
00:47:54.559 --> 00:47:57.920
We don't see ourselves the way other people see us.

764
00:47:58.599 --> 00:48:02.000
You know, we're oblivious who we are on the outside

765
00:48:02.039 --> 00:48:06.239
because our mind has always been our mind, and we

766
00:48:06.280 --> 00:48:09.519
don't see what other people see. We just see us

767
00:48:09.559 --> 00:48:14.079
being who we are, and it doesn't give ourselves an

768
00:48:14.079 --> 00:48:17.480
opportunity to say, but I don't like that person.

769
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:18.639
You know.

770
00:48:18.719 --> 00:48:21.400
I started to find that there were things about me

771
00:48:22.519 --> 00:48:24.760
that I was like, oh crap, I don't like that

772
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:28.880
about me. Maybe I should change that, maybe, you know,

773
00:48:28.960 --> 00:48:33.280
because I want something different. It's not for It's not

774
00:48:33.320 --> 00:48:36.039
always about the other person. Sometimes you have to sit

775
00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:39.639
there and say I keep having this and this and this, Well,

776
00:48:40.320 --> 00:48:42.719
how about you sit in front of a mirror and

777
00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:45.559
figure out why you keep doing or keep getting the

778
00:48:45.599 --> 00:48:49.599
same thing. There's something about you Like my marriage. I

779
00:48:49.639 --> 00:48:52.679
can't blame him, and I won't take all the blame.

780
00:48:53.159 --> 00:48:55.119
It took both of us to get to that place.

781
00:48:56.039 --> 00:48:59.199
So I can sit here. And we do that a lot,

782
00:48:59.440 --> 00:49:04.480
especiallys or minorities in general, we do that and we

783
00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:08.639
point the finger at all of the other person's shortcomings

784
00:49:08.679 --> 00:49:14.519
and their errors and their mistakes. But we're not looking

785
00:49:14.559 --> 00:49:17.440
at ourselves. What did what part did we have to

786
00:49:17.519 --> 00:49:20.719
play in that? You know? What is it about me

787
00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:27.039
that I could have changed? Right? And so it really

788
00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:32.480
is a good opportunity, especially because it's so hard. If

789
00:49:32.519 --> 00:49:35.679
we go through nothing, we will never come out on

790
00:49:35.719 --> 00:49:39.199
the other side. We spend so much time ignoring. And

791
00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:41.480
again we talk about this when we talk about COVID,

792
00:49:42.039 --> 00:49:47.519
how people have spent especially minority groups, have been taught

793
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:52.599
so long to not show emotion, you know, to kind

794
00:49:52.599 --> 00:49:55.679
of you. You know, a man can't cry. This is

795
00:49:55.719 --> 00:49:59.199
a woman's job, you know, like all of these old

796
00:49:59.360 --> 00:50:04.880
fashioned or at least old school, you know, uh roles,

797
00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:08.440
gender roles, right, And I'm and and I rather enjoy

798
00:50:08.519 --> 00:50:11.320
some of them, and so I still I still subscribe

799
00:50:11.400 --> 00:50:17.440
to some of them because I enjoy that role. However,

800
00:50:18.039 --> 00:50:23.559
we're not looking at how life has changed and how

801
00:50:23.599 --> 00:50:27.920
as we get older we change, we need different things.

802
00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:42.639
Life turns up tens. Let's not even go there. My knees, man,

803
00:50:42.760 --> 00:50:43.199
my knees.

804
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:47.599
If you listen, I got a lot of patches.

805
00:50:47.719 --> 00:50:48.280
I'll send you some.

806
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:53.760
No, no, no, it's good because I do know I

807
00:50:53.760 --> 00:50:56.159
can be long winded, but it just it comes from

808
00:50:56.159 --> 00:51:00.840
the heart. It comes from from the the experiences absolutely,

809
00:51:01.199 --> 00:51:04.679
you know, you know, seeing all of these different couples

810
00:51:04.719 --> 00:51:08.639
and the things that they go through, you know, as minorities.

811
00:51:08.719 --> 00:51:14.679
Mostly it's all about blaming the other person the truth.

812
00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:19.639
How thanks, Jay, I love me too. And the funny

813
00:51:19.639 --> 00:51:22.280
thing is, in my old age, I think this is

814
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:25.000
really the first time in my life, like these last

815
00:51:25.079 --> 00:51:28.400
couple of years, that I love me too. You know,

816
00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:32.480
I liked myself. I knew that I had worked hard

817
00:51:32.519 --> 00:51:35.559
to get where I am, but I don't think I

818
00:51:35.599 --> 00:51:40.760
loved myself, you know, And now I do. And the

819
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:43.559
funny thing is that loneliness that you're afraid of, the

820
00:51:43.960 --> 00:51:46.760
fear of being alone, that you're afraid of what I

821
00:51:46.800 --> 00:51:50.320
have found. And this is both men and women. When

822
00:51:50.360 --> 00:51:54.840
you start to love you and see all the good,

823
00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:59.119
be compassionate to yourself and give yourself credit not for

824
00:51:59.159 --> 00:52:02.239
the things you didn't accomplished, but the things that you've

825
00:52:02.280 --> 00:52:05.480
come through, the things that you have accomplished, all of

826
00:52:05.519 --> 00:52:09.719
the hard hills you have climbed. Right when you can

827
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:13.440
sit back and actually take stock of that, you start

828
00:52:13.480 --> 00:52:17.320
to realize your value, your worth, and then it becomes

829
00:52:17.400 --> 00:52:24.079
so much easier to not choose the same type of people.

830
00:52:24.679 --> 00:52:26.360
Real quick, let me let me share this story. It's

831
00:52:26.360 --> 00:52:28.679
a good example of that. This morning this.

832
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:34.920
V oh wait, wait, wait, wait wait, let me marshmallows.

833
00:52:35.519 --> 00:52:41.239
Oh my gosh, this very morning. Okay, I got a

834
00:52:41.320 --> 00:52:45.159
text from somebody I had not heard from in months.

835
00:52:46.599 --> 00:52:53.440
Your Oh no, no, no no. I honestly don't think

836
00:52:53.440 --> 00:52:58.039
I will ever hear from him again. But that's okay,

837
00:52:58.559 --> 00:53:03.280
I'll stop. So anyway, this person contacted me and they

838
00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:06.440
had ghosted me, right like it was just one day

839
00:53:06.440 --> 00:53:08.920
they were here, the next day they were gone. And

840
00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:10.599
it got to a point in my life like I've

841
00:53:10.599 --> 00:53:14.000
been single six years now, I haven't, you know, since

842
00:53:14.039 --> 00:53:17.480
my divorce, I haven't had a relationship, you know, And

843
00:53:19.960 --> 00:53:22.639
so I've gone on dating sides. You know, I've tried.

844
00:53:22.760 --> 00:53:25.480
It's just the funny thing is, as I got to

845
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:29.000
know myself better, as I got to realize what my

846
00:53:29.159 --> 00:53:32.480
value was and that I don't have to wait for

847
00:53:32.559 --> 00:53:35.719
other people to validate me to actually be valuable, right,

848
00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:38.840
So I learned that, you know, a lot. After twenty

849
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:42.280
years of being a marriage and family therapist, I was

850
00:53:42.360 --> 00:53:44.760
finally doing the work on myself that I have been

851
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:48.280
helping other people to do, and so this person contact me.

852
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:52.079
And the funny thing was, I wasn't even mad. I

853
00:53:52.199 --> 00:53:56.559
wasn't even mad. My usual thing is kick rocks, lose

854
00:53:56.639 --> 00:54:00.119
my number, you know whatever. The anger the anger that

855
00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:04.599
people would do that. And the funny thing was he

856
00:54:04.639 --> 00:54:06.480
actually said to me, he says, you know what, I

857
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:09.960
didn't think you were gonna answer me. And I was like,

858
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:13.599
uh yeah, because I realized that's who I am. I

859
00:54:13.599 --> 00:54:18.079
will always answer if somebody is is contacting me, I

860
00:54:18.119 --> 00:54:24.320
will always answer. But there was a difference. So, you know,

861
00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:26.039
we talked for a couple of minutes back and forth,

862
00:54:26.079 --> 00:54:27.480
and then he's like, oh, so I can take you

863
00:54:27.519 --> 00:54:30.880
out to dinner. And if he's listening right now, you know,

864
00:54:33.079 --> 00:54:35.719
I appreciate the opportunity to be able to discuss this.

865
00:54:35.800 --> 00:54:38.559
If he's listening right now, how big brothers, you ain't

866
00:54:38.599 --> 00:54:43.800
taking how to funck nowhere? Bro, you shot and messed up.

867
00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:49.599
All right, But I right now you already know what

868
00:54:49.639 --> 00:54:50.280
time it is. Man.

869
00:54:50.880 --> 00:54:52.719
My trunk space is huge. That's all I gotta say.

870
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:56.960
And I gotta shovel on the back. You know, you

871
00:54:57.000 --> 00:54:59.000
know what Earth Day comes around once a year, but

872
00:54:59.039 --> 00:55:00.760
it may come around twice, if you know what I mean.

873
00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:09.760
Oh goshop, I feel so special. So anyway, and he

874
00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:11.760
was like, so I can still take you out and

875
00:55:11.800 --> 00:55:13.400
blah blah blah. And I was like, you know what,

876
00:55:13.800 --> 00:55:15.800
if that's what you want to do, I'm open to that.

877
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:20.599
I am open to whatever, I said. And he was like,

878
00:55:20.880 --> 00:55:24.360
so it's a date, and I was actually I wrote back,

879
00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:26.840
I said, oh no, no, no, I'm sorry. I would

880
00:55:27.079 --> 00:55:30.039
you know, I can always use friends, you know, because

881
00:55:30.079 --> 00:55:33.760
that keeps that boredom, that loneliness away, when you have

882
00:55:33.920 --> 00:55:36.000
people that you can hang out with, go out with,

883
00:55:36.599 --> 00:55:39.039
have new adventures with. I said. But no, no, no,

884
00:55:39.079 --> 00:55:41.599
don't get me messed up. No, it won't be a date,

885
00:55:42.159 --> 00:55:47.039
I said, because you had that opportunity and you totally

886
00:55:47.079 --> 00:55:50.159
let it slip through your fingers. So I don't look back,

887
00:55:50.400 --> 00:55:53.079
you know. Again, not trying to get religious, But when

888
00:55:53.800 --> 00:55:57.320
Lot was told to leave and don't look back, his

889
00:55:57.400 --> 00:56:01.000
wife looked back and turned and turned into ault. Let

890
00:56:01.039 --> 00:56:03.480
me tell you something, I'm not gonna be no pillar assault.

891
00:56:04.079 --> 00:56:06.800
If God wanted this person in my life, he would

892
00:56:06.800 --> 00:56:09.159
have stayed in my life. So yeah, we can hang

893
00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:11.840
out we could kick it. We can talk on the phone, text,

894
00:56:11.880 --> 00:56:15.519
do whatever you like, because I can always use good friends,

895
00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:19.239
you know, and he seemed like a good guy. But

896
00:56:20.440 --> 00:56:22.679
I need someone I can depend on, I can I

897
00:56:22.719 --> 00:56:26.440
need someone I can trust. And you've already, unfortunately, you've

898
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:29.800
already shown me that I can't depend or trust that

899
00:56:29.840 --> 00:56:35.599
you're one stick around to do or stand on what

900
00:56:35.760 --> 00:56:39.480
a man needs to do or stand on. And I

901
00:56:39.559 --> 00:56:44.639
know my value, and my value is not to recycle,

902
00:56:46.320 --> 00:56:50.840
you know, old situations, because then you're just staying in

903
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:54.119
the same pool and getting dirty. And a saying that

904
00:56:54.199 --> 00:56:57.639
I found actually when I first got a divorce, it says,

905
00:56:57.639 --> 00:57:01.480
when you give someone a second chance, it's like giving

906
00:57:01.519 --> 00:57:08.119
them a gun, And it's like that because you're giving

907
00:57:08.119 --> 00:57:11.880
them the opportunity to shoot you a second time because

908
00:57:11.920 --> 00:57:17.599
the first bullet didn't kill you. So as women, I

909
00:57:17.639 --> 00:57:21.800
can't speak a man experience, but as a woman, every

910
00:57:21.960 --> 00:57:25.039
time we allow someone not to let us down, because

911
00:57:25.039 --> 00:57:27.440
people disappoint us and let us down all the time.

912
00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:32.920
But when you allow someone to disrespect you, minimize your value,

913
00:57:33.480 --> 00:57:38.639
make you feel less then and then you continue to

914
00:57:38.760 --> 00:57:42.960
play that same record again because they change the tune

915
00:57:43.119 --> 00:57:48.239
you're basically giving yourself another ride on a horse that's

916
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:50.800
just gonna throw you off and you're gonna break the

917
00:57:50.840 --> 00:57:55.519
other leg. So I got to a point in my

918
00:57:55.559 --> 00:57:57.719
life where it says, I'm not gonna do that to myself.

919
00:57:58.199 --> 00:58:00.960
You seem like a nice person, You're cool and everything,

920
00:58:01.400 --> 00:58:03.320
but when it comes to what I need in my

921
00:58:03.400 --> 00:58:07.920
life as a partner, you already showed me that I

922
00:58:07.960 --> 00:58:12.719
can't depend on you as a partner. So I can't

923
00:58:12.719 --> 00:58:16.000
do that to myself because when things really really get hard,

924
00:58:16.039 --> 00:58:20.400
you already showed me that you're gonna run away. You know.

925
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:24.960
And for all the guys out there who you know,

926
00:58:25.719 --> 00:58:27.719
they tell their women I need to deal with this

927
00:58:27.840 --> 00:58:29.559
on my own because they say they don't want to

928
00:58:29.599 --> 00:58:31.559
be a burden, and I'm and Dubbs, I'm talking about

929
00:58:31.559 --> 00:58:34.880
people who really don't feel that way. They just use

930
00:58:34.960 --> 00:58:37.639
those words idly. I don't want to be a burden

931
00:58:37.679 --> 00:58:41.639
on you because they know that's the excuse. It's exactly that.

932
00:58:41.679 --> 00:58:46.119
It's an excuse, because the truth is any man, and

933
00:58:46.159 --> 00:58:48.960
I've seen it so many times, I just want my peace.

934
00:58:49.360 --> 00:58:51.679
I just want a woman who's loyal. I want a

935
00:58:51.719 --> 00:58:56.239
person who can love me and who can be my peace? Right, No,

936
00:58:56.559 --> 00:58:59.440
you don't really want that, because if.

937
00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:04.679
You really want huh, you know you know what what

938
00:59:04.760 --> 00:59:06.159
you were saying right now? You know what I'm saying,

939
00:59:06.199 --> 00:59:08.039
Like like, yes, you know what I'm saying. That's what

940
00:59:08.280 --> 00:59:11.599
dudes be saying. And I was like, meanwhile, back at

941
00:59:11.599 --> 00:59:16.639
the ranch, yeah, everything that's opposite of Yes, yes, it's

942
00:59:16.639 --> 00:59:18.559
called being narcissistic, by the way, and I used to

943
00:59:18.599 --> 00:59:19.320
do that like crazy.

944
00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:24.000
I just but there's all right, there's a way to

945
00:59:24.119 --> 00:59:27.039
handle the situation though, you know what I'm saying that.

946
00:59:29.079 --> 00:59:30.840
But then you know what, like I had others in the.

947
00:59:30.840 --> 00:59:35.199
Stables, yes, exactly, exactly, you got somebody in the wings.

948
00:59:35.599 --> 00:59:38.440
So I had to learn. I had to learn to say,

949
00:59:38.679 --> 00:59:42.679
I'm sorry, but I am not a placeholder. I am

950
00:59:42.679 --> 00:59:46.559
not a placeholder until something better comes along. I'm actually

951
00:59:46.920 --> 00:59:57.199
the whole meal and the dessert. Okay. Ten, I'm attend

952
00:59:57.280 --> 00:59:59.480
in different ways than other women.

953
01:00:00.280 --> 01:00:07.079
Out of ton what out a ton? Yeah, thirty for thirty.

954
01:00:07.239 --> 01:00:12.000
Okay, until you project peace, yes, And a lot of

955
01:00:12.039 --> 01:00:14.760
times we call what we put out into the world.

956
01:00:14.840 --> 01:00:15.039
Right.

957
01:00:15.559 --> 01:00:18.199
So I also realized that one of the reasons why

958
01:00:18.239 --> 01:00:25.320
I was attracting broken, emotionally unavailable men is because I

959
01:00:25.400 --> 01:00:29.039
am so loving and so caring and so forgiving. I

960
01:00:29.199 --> 01:00:34.119
am that that piece, that so called peace that men

961
01:00:34.159 --> 01:00:38.360
are looking for. But the problem is, I need you

962
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:40.440
to be at peace when you come to me, just

963
01:00:40.440 --> 01:00:42.360
like I need to be at peace when I come

964
01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:46.599
to you. We can have our hurts, we can have

965
01:00:46.679 --> 01:00:49.760
our pains, we can have our luggage right, our baggage.

966
01:00:50.440 --> 01:00:54.400
But the thing is, I'm not the person who cuts you,

967
01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:58.239
so you can't bleed on me. Ad.

968
01:00:58.519 --> 01:01:02.119
Yo's that's a dying right there. You just dropped some

969
01:01:02.599 --> 01:01:03.960
dropping bonds, son.

970
01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:08.000
Real like you know what, you know what.

971
01:01:08.039 --> 01:01:11.639
That's like the equivalent of saying like you know, like

972
01:01:11.679 --> 01:01:14.400
you know like sometimes sometimes you know, like back then

973
01:01:14.440 --> 01:01:17.440
nights to tell like certain females. So I was like,

974
01:01:17.480 --> 01:01:19.519
why are you treating that? Jesus Christ is like excuse me?

975
01:01:19.679 --> 01:01:21.360
I was like, why am I being crucified for another

976
01:01:21.400 --> 01:01:22.000
man's sins?

977
01:01:23.960 --> 01:01:26.480
Unfortunately, because the world that we live in right now,

978
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:31.039
we keep complaining about other people's sins, but we're not

979
01:01:31.199 --> 01:01:33.840
fixing it right. So it's the eye the eye for

980
01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:37.119
an eye we're in, that canceled eye for an eye right.

981
01:01:37.559 --> 01:01:40.159
So you got guys out here who want somebody who's

982
01:01:40.239 --> 01:01:43.960
loyal some and even women. I want loyalty. I want this,

983
01:01:44.039 --> 01:01:47.760
I want that. I want somebody cooks, cleans all this stuff. Okay, bro,

984
01:01:48.039 --> 01:01:52.079
what are you offering that? Are you offering that? No?

985
01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:55.280
So when somebody tells me I'm too much, I'm like,

986
01:01:55.320 --> 01:01:58.199
you know what, that's okay, you can go get less

987
01:01:58.719 --> 01:02:02.480
because I'm not asking any anything from you. I'm not

988
01:02:02.599 --> 01:02:05.159
asking nothing from you that you are not going to

989
01:02:05.239 --> 01:02:10.639
receive from me. So I want somebody who's going to

990
01:02:10.719 --> 01:02:15.400
stand on their word. In my case, the person has

991
01:02:15.440 --> 01:02:18.920
to have a relationship with God, not just knowing. But

992
01:02:18.960 --> 01:02:22.800
that's my personal thing. But it's like, you can't be

993
01:02:23.000 --> 01:02:26.320
asking for something when you're not giving that same thing.

994
01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:31.239
They want women to stop being in their masculine energy. Well,

995
01:02:31.280 --> 01:02:34.880
if I had a man who was helping me, I

996
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:37.639
wouldn't have to be. But when I've had to do

997
01:02:37.719 --> 01:02:40.719
all of this stuff by myself, even when I was married.

998
01:02:42.239 --> 01:02:45.960
When I have to do all of these things by myself,

999
01:02:46.800 --> 01:02:49.480
I have to act like a man. So how are

1000
01:02:49.519 --> 01:02:52.840
you getting mad at me because you're not being the man?

1001
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:54.679
I have to be.

1002
01:02:54.679 --> 01:02:57.760
Both that that's a problem.

1003
01:02:58.119 --> 01:02:58.480
It is.

1004
01:02:59.199 --> 01:03:01.679
So I had to learn that if I don't change

1005
01:03:01.760 --> 01:03:05.599
my acceptance, if I don't change who I let into

1006
01:03:05.639 --> 01:03:08.559
my life, then I'm never going to change that dynamic.

1007
01:03:09.599 --> 01:03:11.760
So when a guy says to me, oh, you expect

1008
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:13.880
me to pay, yes, I do, because if you want

1009
01:03:13.920 --> 01:03:16.800
me to be the lady and to be on your arm,

1010
01:03:18.159 --> 01:03:19.840
how am I going to be on your arm when

1011
01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:23.719
I got to pay for your meals? It has nothing

1012
01:03:23.800 --> 01:03:27.119
to do. It has nothing to do with me being

1013
01:03:27.159 --> 01:03:31.400
in your pockets, right, and nothing at all, because I

1014
01:03:31.480 --> 01:03:35.840
also gladly cook you that meal because you cut my grass.

1015
01:03:36.159 --> 01:03:40.079
I'll kiss you and and bring you water outside because

1016
01:03:40.079 --> 01:03:44.480
you're taking care of and keeping me safe, you know,

1017
01:03:44.719 --> 01:03:47.199
like it's it's a it's a reciprocal it's a given,

1018
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:51.639
a take, not a take take take right when we

1019
01:03:51.719 --> 01:03:54.639
talk about this stuff all the time, some.

1020
01:03:56.239 --> 01:04:01.599
Right, I'm sorry like speaking because like me, like I

1021
01:04:01.639 --> 01:04:06.800
feel off and weird when you know, like for instance,

1022
01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:09.760
my girlfriend pays for me, like it just feels like

1023
01:04:09.760 --> 01:04:12.480
like like I don't know what it's like like like

1024
01:04:12.599 --> 01:04:14.320
you know what, like I do, But.

1025
01:04:14.280 --> 01:04:18.039
There's a time to do that though, doves. It's learning

1026
01:04:18.079 --> 01:04:19.639
for a woman to do that.

1027
01:04:19.880 --> 01:04:21.719
You know, you know what I'm saying, and I be

1028
01:04:21.719 --> 01:04:23.280
feeling like you know what I'm saying, and I be

1029
01:04:23.320 --> 01:04:25.480
feeling bad man, and I'm like, bro, you know.

1030
01:04:25.440 --> 01:04:30.960
What seeing see here's the thing, right you know, like

1031
01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:31.400
like you know.

1032
01:04:33.960 --> 01:04:36.800
Maybe before you know, maybe before you know, like like

1033
01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:38.480
I would feel bad, but I just didn't care because

1034
01:04:38.480 --> 01:04:39.960
you know what, I didn't care about nothing.

1035
01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:43.119
Like when I say nothing, like it was to the

1036
01:04:43.119 --> 01:04:43.880
point where I didn't care.

1037
01:04:43.920 --> 01:04:46.280
I didn't care if I live to die, you know

1038
01:04:46.280 --> 01:04:47.679
what I'm saying, if I live to see the next

1039
01:04:47.760 --> 01:04:50.639
day or I die tonight, Like I just did not care.

1040
01:04:51.599 --> 01:04:54.039
Now that I'm older, and I see like you know,

1041
01:04:55.239 --> 01:04:59.679
like the Countless, like you know the books of my wrongs, right,

1042
01:05:00.800 --> 01:05:04.159
and like I'm more like you know, like mature if

1043
01:05:04.159 --> 01:05:06.199
you will, and like like everything is like more like

1044
01:05:06.239 --> 01:05:10.639
you know on a conscious level, right, you know what

1045
01:05:10.639 --> 01:05:12.679
I'm saying, Like this is why, like you know, I

1046
01:05:12.719 --> 01:05:15.880
feel like you know, like sometimes like like certain things

1047
01:05:15.880 --> 01:05:17.559
I keep to myself so I figure it, you know,

1048
01:05:17.639 --> 01:05:18.840
so I figure out how to word it.

1049
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:19.679
You see what I mean?

1050
01:05:20.480 --> 01:05:22.719
Like you know, like I'm like, you know what, like

1051
01:05:22.719 --> 01:05:25.719
like before, I will always like keep things to myself,

1052
01:05:25.719 --> 01:05:27.599
and then they'll build ups and other things and other

1053
01:05:27.639 --> 01:05:32.239
things to the point where it's like like let's just say,

1054
01:05:32.239 --> 01:05:34.039
you know, like my lady will step on my sneaker.

1055
01:05:34.039 --> 01:05:35.920
I'll get mad over that, like, Yo, what the hell

1056
01:05:35.960 --> 01:05:38.119
bro this? Thatand the third blah blah blah blah blah blah.

1057
01:05:38.159 --> 01:05:42.320
But that's from that, that's from like, you know, stuff

1058
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:45.639
that the frustrations that's been building within myself because of

1059
01:05:45.960 --> 01:05:48.800
because the things that are not in my control that

1060
01:05:49.000 --> 01:05:50.480
you know what, Now I'm starting, you know, like now

1061
01:05:50.480 --> 01:05:53.679
I'm starting to open up and like speak on things.

1062
01:05:53.679 --> 01:05:56.920
But like sometimes like you know, like I have to

1063
01:05:56.920 --> 01:05:58.679
take a step back because like I have to, like,

1064
01:05:58.719 --> 01:06:00.440
you know, I want to make sure that I worded

1065
01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:02.280
the way that you know, I want to word it

1066
01:06:02.639 --> 01:06:04.920
that best exemplifies like how I feel.

1067
01:06:05.559 --> 01:06:08.639
But that's that's a good example, dubs. Since when in

1068
01:06:08.679 --> 01:06:12.360
our society did getting our sneakers step th on become

1069
01:06:12.400 --> 01:06:14.000
more important than our partner?

1070
01:06:15.840 --> 01:06:18.039
You know? You know, when when.

1071
01:06:19.679 --> 01:06:21.840
Trump put the terrifts on the sneakers And I'm saying

1072
01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:26.800
when when like everything like everything build up, you know,

1073
01:06:26.880 --> 01:06:29.880
like and that's and not out ten times is it's

1074
01:06:30.239 --> 01:06:32.079
you know, like I can't speak, like I said, I

1075
01:06:32.079 --> 01:06:34.199
can't speak for every man out here, but I can

1076
01:06:34.239 --> 01:06:39.360
speak on my experience, like is that I've been frustrated

1077
01:06:39.400 --> 01:06:43.039
with certain things and I'm watching you know, and and

1078
01:06:43.079 --> 01:06:46.119
I'm watching my you know, my lady you know do

1079
01:06:47.360 --> 01:06:50.719
and my hands are tied and it's like, and don't

1080
01:06:50.719 --> 01:06:51.360
sit right with me.

1081
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:54.960
So it's like it's she signed that she signed up

1082
01:06:55.079 --> 01:06:55.400
as that.

1083
01:06:57.280 --> 01:07:00.400
Yes she did, yes she did. But it's like but

1084
01:07:00.400 --> 01:07:01.679
it's like, you know what, there's.

1085
01:07:01.480 --> 01:07:04.840
No butt, if that's what I'm saying. People always find

1086
01:07:05.320 --> 01:07:09.559
the exceptions to the rules. When someone makes a conscious

1087
01:07:09.679 --> 01:07:14.519
choice to be in a relationship with you, marriage, whatever

1088
01:07:14.559 --> 01:07:19.159
it is. They're literally telling you, I'm signing up for

1089
01:07:19.360 --> 01:07:23.960
your stuff because when my stuff goes down, you trust

1090
01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:26.039
and believe you better be there for me.

1091
01:07:26.760 --> 01:07:30.199
But see, there is a butt in a way, because like, yes,

1092
01:07:30.239 --> 01:07:33.320
I want to do more, you can do more.

1093
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:38.000
But if you stop believing and trust again, your partner

1094
01:07:39.239 --> 01:07:44.239
is supposed to be your family. You know, we leave

1095
01:07:44.280 --> 01:07:47.800
our mothers and our fathers to join with another person

1096
01:07:48.239 --> 01:07:50.519
and multiply and fill the world.

1097
01:07:50.719 --> 01:07:53.599
Right absolutely, you.

1098
01:07:54.920 --> 01:07:58.519
The person that shares your bed and your home with

1099
01:07:58.599 --> 01:08:02.199
You should know more about you and what makes you

1100
01:08:02.320 --> 01:08:06.079
tick than your friends, than the rest of your family,

1101
01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:11.280
because that is supposed to be your other half, that

1102
01:08:11.440 --> 01:08:14.079
is the person that you, guys, have chosen to spend

1103
01:08:14.119 --> 01:08:19.039
your life with. However, as a society, we're keeping secrets

1104
01:08:19.079 --> 01:08:23.119
from them. We're not telling them what makes us happy,

1105
01:08:23.880 --> 01:08:29.359
what pleases us, because we're afraid of their judgment. And

1106
01:08:29.439 --> 01:08:31.560
the truth is, it's better to find out in the

1107
01:08:31.600 --> 01:08:34.920
beginning by giving them all that you are so that

1108
01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:37.079
they can make their choice whether they can live with

1109
01:08:37.119 --> 01:08:40.800
it or not, then holding on to this stuff. I've

1110
01:08:40.840 --> 01:08:44.880
had people who I know genuinely, genuinely cared about me

1111
01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:52.279
and the dating or whatever it was ended because they

1112
01:08:52.279 --> 01:08:54.880
didn't want to be a soul called burden to me,

1113
01:08:55.760 --> 01:09:01.319
and they hid parts of themselves from me knowing who

1114
01:09:01.359 --> 01:09:04.279
I was, so they hid parts of themselves from me

1115
01:09:05.760 --> 01:09:09.279
just so that I wouldn't leave them because I thought

1116
01:09:09.319 --> 01:09:11.479
it was too hard. So first they didn't give me

1117
01:09:11.960 --> 01:09:16.399
the adult consideration to make my own choices, so they

1118
01:09:16.479 --> 01:09:20.960
hid things from me. And then when I did, when

1119
01:09:20.960 --> 01:09:23.800
I did find out about those things later because they

1120
01:09:23.800 --> 01:09:28.399
could no longer hide them, it wasn't even that I

1121
01:09:28.600 --> 01:09:31.279
was upset. I would not have even left had I

1122
01:09:31.359 --> 01:09:34.840
known those things in the beginning. What made me leave,

1123
01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:38.239
no hold on, What made me leave was the fact

1124
01:09:38.319 --> 01:09:41.279
that you lied about it, that you hid it from me.

1125
01:09:41.720 --> 01:09:46.119
And now I have to pay the consequences for that,

1126
01:09:47.159 --> 01:09:51.760
because now you got me all wrapped up and didn't

1127
01:09:51.800 --> 01:09:55.199
give me all the information that I required to be

1128
01:09:55.279 --> 01:09:59.079
able to make that educated and loving decision for myself.

1129
01:10:00.159 --> 01:10:03.640
Guess what by you keeping that from me, you just

1130
01:10:03.800 --> 01:10:09.439
guaranteed what you were trying to prevent. Because the right

1131
01:10:09.479 --> 01:10:10.239
person will.

1132
01:10:10.039 --> 01:10:11.760
Stay, you know why? Right?

1133
01:10:13.960 --> 01:10:15.800
Well, I can't, like I said, I can't speak for

1134
01:10:15.880 --> 01:10:18.680
every man out here, but I can speak There was

1135
01:10:18.680 --> 01:10:25.000
always at one time, right that you know, like we

1136
01:10:25.119 --> 01:10:27.319
show the person, you know, we showed the woman like

1137
01:10:27.359 --> 01:10:31.600
who we really were, and they took it, took advantage

1138
01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:33.000
of it, ran with it.

1139
01:10:33.600 --> 01:10:36.039
Because they were not the right.

1140
01:10:36.039 --> 01:10:38.199
Person exactly exactly.

1141
01:10:38.279 --> 01:10:41.039
And so you're gonna make the right person suffer or

1142
01:10:41.039 --> 01:10:45.800
you're not gonna find the right person. Can I explain?

1143
01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:50.840
Can I explain? Please? Because hand my hand up, Let

1144
01:10:50.880 --> 01:10:51.279
me explain.

1145
01:10:51.399 --> 01:10:52.319
Let me explain, like you.

1146
01:10:53.079 --> 01:10:56.359
Like, from my from my experience, like all of that

1147
01:10:57.119 --> 01:10:58.640
was take me. You know what I'm saying.

1148
01:10:58.800 --> 01:11:02.479
All it was was once and that was wrong, you know,

1149
01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:06.359
you know, like hindsight is twenty twenty. That was completely wrong, right,

1150
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:09.399
And I was always like, nah, man, never again, never again,

1151
01:11:09.800 --> 01:11:13.680
you know, and that you know what, And I heard

1152
01:11:13.720 --> 01:11:15.640
a lot you know what, you know what some women

1153
01:11:15.720 --> 01:11:17.279
you know what I'm saying, like, no one deserves to

1154
01:11:17.279 --> 01:11:17.720
get hurt.

1155
01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:19.720
So like I hurt a lot of people, you.

1156
01:11:19.680 --> 01:11:21.399
Know, I believe I hurt a lot of people, and

1157
01:11:22.720 --> 01:11:24.880
you know, like I feel bad for that, you know,

1158
01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:28.359
all because of one person. And all it took was

1159
01:11:28.399 --> 01:11:31.359
one person to like have me thinking like in a

1160
01:11:31.399 --> 01:11:34.359
different tone. And it took a while. It took a while,

1161
01:11:35.159 --> 01:11:43.359
right to like, you know, like re educate myself because

1162
01:11:43.399 --> 01:11:47.000
like when you're alone, you know, like there's so many

1163
01:11:47.039 --> 01:11:50.640
things you could do, but re educating yourself and getting

1164
01:11:50.640 --> 01:11:52.159
like you said again, to know yourself at the end

1165
01:11:52.159 --> 01:11:54.920
of the day, and re educating who you really are

1166
01:11:55.079 --> 01:11:57.800
now now who you were like fifteen years ago.

1167
01:11:57.920 --> 01:11:59.520
Whatever is price.

1168
01:12:00.319 --> 01:12:01.920
So that's the reason why, like you know now, like

1169
01:12:01.960 --> 01:12:05.079
you know, in my cour relationship that I'm in, I

1170
01:12:05.159 --> 01:12:08.279
try to be more you know more vocal. I try,

1171
01:12:08.359 --> 01:12:10.319
you know, like I speak from the heart regardless, but

1172
01:12:10.479 --> 01:12:13.159
like you know what, like certain things like like this

1173
01:12:13.199 --> 01:12:16.479
week when when you know, like I showed you guys,

1174
01:12:16.479 --> 01:12:19.920
you know, like the little procedure they did and how

1175
01:12:19.960 --> 01:12:22.439
like you know, like I was happy for five days

1176
01:12:22.439 --> 01:12:24.000
and the next thing, you know, you know, like since

1177
01:12:24.039 --> 01:12:25.439
it was a trial run, like you know, it was

1178
01:12:25.479 --> 01:12:27.640
over and went back to like you know, like being

1179
01:12:27.680 --> 01:12:31.840
a pain, Like the pain came back like more, and.

1180
01:12:33.439 --> 01:12:35.039
You know, like you know, it messed with me.

1181
01:12:35.079 --> 01:12:36.920
And I don't want to tell my girl that, you

1182
01:12:36.920 --> 01:12:39.760
see what I'm saying because like because like you know what,

1183
01:12:39.880 --> 01:12:41.319
like I see her all the time, like you know,

1184
01:12:42.359 --> 01:12:44.720
like you know, like she's always like you know, she's

1185
01:12:45.039 --> 01:12:47.600
she's an awesome person man, you know, like she's always

1186
01:12:47.600 --> 01:12:48.359
doing this, and I'm like.

1187
01:12:48.399 --> 01:12:51.920
Yo, you know what, But then you're showing her that

1188
01:12:52.000 --> 01:12:53.159
you don't trust her with that.

1189
01:12:53.439 --> 01:12:55.880
No, no, no, no, no, you know what it's like,

1190
01:12:56.079 --> 01:12:59.479
it's like, yeah, you know what, you know what like

1191
01:12:59.840 --> 01:13:02.000
you you know, like I know, I know from a

1192
01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:05.039
place where it's coming from. But and the outside for

1193
01:13:05.079 --> 01:13:07.479
what you're telling me, that's what it looks like. If

1194
01:13:07.479 --> 01:13:09.079
that's what it looks like and I'm taking your word

1195
01:13:09.119 --> 01:13:12.319
for it, then you know what, but it's not intentional, you.

1196
01:13:12.319 --> 01:13:12.920
Know what I'm saying.

1197
01:13:13.239 --> 01:13:14.880
It's like it's your ego.

1198
01:13:16.880 --> 01:13:23.920
And you know what, and I just say that, and

1199
01:13:23.960 --> 01:13:26.800
I just say that it was my pride ego like

1200
01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:28.880
like like see like you know, and and like you know,

1201
01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:31.319
like and I got yelled at and she and you know,

1202
01:13:31.399 --> 01:13:33.159
she just says she she was like, she's like, what's

1203
01:13:33.199 --> 01:13:33.560
that hard.

1204
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:35.920
I'm like, I'm like yeah, I'm like yeah, I'm like, yo,

1205
01:13:35.960 --> 01:13:37.479
you know what I'm trying.

1206
01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:40.600
Like, you know, I'm like, I'm coming from a person

1207
01:13:40.680 --> 01:13:42.720
who used to be like, yo, I'll swallow my own

1208
01:13:42.760 --> 01:13:46.159
blood before I swallow my pride, right to a person

1209
01:13:46.199 --> 01:13:48.680
that's like trying to really swallow his pride ego.

1210
01:13:49.159 --> 01:13:49.359
You know.

1211
01:13:50.159 --> 01:13:53.640
And as of right now, let you run the ship

1212
01:13:53.960 --> 01:13:58.159
as of right now, you know, because like you know,

1213
01:13:58.239 --> 01:14:00.399
like financially, you know what I'm saying, you know, like

1214
01:14:00.760 --> 01:14:04.720
you know, we're living you know, up until further notice.

1215
01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:05.279
You know what I'm saying.

1216
01:14:05.359 --> 01:14:07.399
When the further notice happened, you know, like then it's

1217
01:14:07.439 --> 01:14:10.560
gonna be an us thing right as if it's not

1218
01:14:10.640 --> 01:14:11.159
us right now.

1219
01:14:11.159 --> 01:14:13.039
But it's like they're not you know, like I was.

1220
01:14:13.119 --> 01:14:14.399
Then the reason why I say it's gonna be an

1221
01:14:14.439 --> 01:14:16.640
us thing because like I feel like I could do

1222
01:14:16.680 --> 01:14:17.159
a lot more.

1223
01:14:17.239 --> 01:14:20.239
You see what I'm saying. And it's like and it's like,

1224
01:14:20.279 --> 01:14:22.079
you know what, like you're so.

1225
01:14:22.079 --> 01:14:24.359
Busy trying to do a lot more, you're not enjoying

1226
01:14:24.399 --> 01:14:25.720
what you already have done.

1227
01:14:26.600 --> 01:14:30.119
Exactly, Baz, you know what.

1228
01:14:30.680 --> 01:14:33.119
No, you know what, you know what and see and

1229
01:14:33.159 --> 01:14:34.600
this is me, you know what I'm saying, swallowed my

1230
01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:40.960
pride and admitting to it because she's right, you know, like.

1231
01:14:39.439 --> 01:14:43.560
Like you know, like for instance, period.

1232
01:14:45.079 --> 01:14:48.159
For instance, right for instance, let me let me say,

1233
01:14:49.399 --> 01:14:52.000
for instance, I'm with my daughter every day, and I

1234
01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:55.800
will look at it. No, I'm not not now I'm

1235
01:14:55.800 --> 01:14:57.880
saying that though, Like first, I'm with my daughter every day,

1236
01:14:57.880 --> 01:14:59.840
and like I don't look at it like you know,

1237
01:15:00.960 --> 01:15:02.159
I look at it as you know I'm saying.

1238
01:15:02.159 --> 01:15:03.439
Sometimes I look at it as nothing.

1239
01:15:03.800 --> 01:15:05.479
But like since she's just say that, you know what

1240
01:15:05.479 --> 01:15:06.840
I'm saying, I'm like, yo, you know what, I'm with

1241
01:15:06.920 --> 01:15:07.720
her every day.

1242
01:15:08.199 --> 01:15:10.560
You know what I'm saying. We're you know what I'm saying.

1243
01:15:10.560 --> 01:15:12.800
We're doing this we're doing that every day together, you

1244
01:15:12.800 --> 01:15:14.279
know what I'm saying, Like, I have a relationship with

1245
01:15:14.319 --> 01:15:15.359
my baby girl.

1246
01:15:15.720 --> 01:15:18.199
And do you know how many fathers can never say

1247
01:15:18.199 --> 01:15:23.439
that you get to witness and experience the first that

1248
01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:27.760
your girl can't.

1249
01:15:25.840 --> 01:15:30.199
That's why Sky and I are so close.

1250
01:15:30.800 --> 01:15:34.000
Yo yo yo yo yo yo. What my bad.

1251
01:15:34.119 --> 01:15:35.720
I'm just getting a little emotional, man like I don't

1252
01:15:35.720 --> 01:15:38.840
even care, man like, like you know, yeah, men cry,

1253
01:15:39.000 --> 01:15:39.960
all right, so whatever?

1254
01:15:40.039 --> 01:15:42.960
Man, So what I what I wanted to say was

1255
01:15:43.319 --> 01:15:45.920
about this relationship thing and about peace and about all

1256
01:15:45.960 --> 01:15:49.520
the other stuff and about bringing baggage from one relationship

1257
01:15:49.560 --> 01:15:53.760
to another or whatever. At our age, not that we're old,

1258
01:15:54.479 --> 01:16:00.000
but at our age, men and women have to understan

1259
01:16:00.039 --> 01:16:04.520
stand that life doesn't start for your partner when you

1260
01:16:04.560 --> 01:16:10.600
get together. They have a whole lifetime of experiences and

1261
01:16:10.720 --> 01:16:16.520
heartache and successes and they bring that with them. So

1262
01:16:16.560 --> 01:16:19.039
you can't expect someone to come into your life.

1263
01:16:19.439 --> 01:16:23.399
They just shouldn't be making you unpack the bag, that's all.

1264
01:16:23.920 --> 01:16:26.439
Yeah, that's that. That's what That's what I'm saying. Like

1265
01:16:26.880 --> 01:16:29.439
you you you you can't expect someone to come into

1266
01:16:29.479 --> 01:16:34.199
your life without baggage. That we're not in fucking grade school,

1267
01:16:34.239 --> 01:16:36.439
in high school and shit anymore. You know what I'm saying,

1268
01:16:36.479 --> 01:16:40.079
We're grown to ass people, and when we're grown to

1269
01:16:40.079 --> 01:16:42.800
ask people comes baggage, you know what I'm.

1270
01:16:42.600 --> 01:16:44.199
Saying, years of it.

1271
01:16:44.359 --> 01:16:47.920
And exactly years of it. So a person, a person

1272
01:16:48.039 --> 01:16:51.600
can't expect you to come into expect you to come

1273
01:16:51.600 --> 01:16:53.640
into their life with a brand new sleep. No, it

1274
01:16:53.640 --> 01:16:58.840
doesn't work that way. It's not one of those draw

1275
01:16:58.880 --> 01:17:01.680
and peel because we used to have back and that's

1276
01:17:01.680 --> 01:17:03.479
just schedule. You can shake the shit out of it

1277
01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:09.039
and fucking you know what I'm saying and start over again. Yeah, yeah,

1278
01:17:09.119 --> 01:17:11.199
you can't. You just that's not what life is. That's

1279
01:17:11.239 --> 01:17:14.760
not what relationships are. There's always gonna be. Yeah, it's

1280
01:17:14.760 --> 01:17:17.640
always gonna be. There's always gonna be something there, and

1281
01:17:17.640 --> 01:17:21.279
it's up to the both of you to work through

1282
01:17:21.319 --> 01:17:22.680
these things together.

1283
01:17:22.840 --> 01:17:25.439
Right, and you should come with some type of healing,

1284
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:30.960
some type of resolution to that previous stage. But it's

1285
01:17:30.960 --> 01:17:33.319
always going to be a part of you, you know,

1286
01:17:33.560 --> 01:17:39.079
Like you just can't make other people feel punished for

1287
01:17:39.159 --> 01:17:43.560
what other people have done. However, it's still an experience

1288
01:17:43.640 --> 01:17:47.640
you had and it's still valid feelings, right, but the

1289
01:17:47.760 --> 01:17:51.359
right person will want to work through that with you

1290
01:17:51.439 --> 01:17:54.600
and let you know how it makes them feel, instead

1291
01:17:54.640 --> 01:17:58.319
of just getting all up in their panties like, oh,

1292
01:17:58.439 --> 01:18:00.960
you're doing this and you're doing that, and you're doing

1293
01:18:01.039 --> 01:18:04.640
too much. You know what, Then you can move. Let

1294
01:18:04.720 --> 01:18:08.079
me tell you something. I can be miserable all by myself.

1295
01:18:08.199 --> 01:18:09.640
I don't need a partner to do that.

1296
01:18:10.800 --> 01:18:13.960
Sometimes, No, yes you do, because if it's miserable, and

1297
01:18:13.960 --> 01:18:16.119
then there's like an extra level miserable, you know what

1298
01:18:16.119 --> 01:18:18.000
I'm saying, the top miserable.

1299
01:18:18.079 --> 01:18:19.079
I'm just I'm just joking.

1300
01:18:19.079 --> 01:18:22.680
I'm just joking, joking now, But you're right though, like like,

1301
01:18:22.720 --> 01:18:24.560
but see, you know what the thing is too, I mean,

1302
01:18:24.640 --> 01:18:26.960
like and you know what I'm saying. I believe that

1303
01:18:27.039 --> 01:18:29.359
everyone you know what I'm saying is smart from one

1304
01:18:29.359 --> 01:18:32.000
way or another, you know. And I think we can

1305
01:18:32.039 --> 01:18:34.840
all agree that learning is indeed a gift, because not

1306
01:18:34.880 --> 01:18:39.439
that many people learn, and I think we could and

1307
01:18:39.520 --> 01:18:41.720
I think I think we could all agree that pain.

1308
01:18:42.119 --> 01:18:44.840
Pain is a teacher, regardless of what you know, like

1309
01:18:45.119 --> 01:18:47.319
whether it's whether it's physical pain, you know, like pain

1310
01:18:47.439 --> 01:18:50.199
changes people, you know, but it's also but you know

1311
01:18:50.199 --> 01:18:51.680
what the thing is this is what a learning part

1312
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:54.800
comes into play, because like you learn from the pain,

1313
01:18:54.840 --> 01:18:56.960
you don't, you know, like and like that. And that's

1314
01:18:57.000 --> 01:19:01.800
the mistake that us men, that's the mistake that we

1315
01:19:01.920 --> 01:19:03.640
don't do, is that we don't learn from the paint.

1316
01:19:03.680 --> 01:19:06.600
We rather you know, saying distributed back on the next

1317
01:19:06.600 --> 01:19:09.760
person or something like that. You know, I mean that's

1318
01:19:10.039 --> 01:19:12.560
you know what scratch, that's people in general. That's just

1319
01:19:12.600 --> 01:19:15.039
you know, like, oh this person hurt me, someone.

1320
01:19:14.920 --> 01:19:19.239
Hurt themb you know, like like you know, or the

1321
01:19:19.279 --> 01:19:21.800
right one comes along in your life and because someone

1322
01:19:21.800 --> 01:19:25.079
else hurts you, you tell this new right person, I'm

1323
01:19:25.079 --> 01:19:28.520
never gonna be vulnerable like that again. Come on, then

1324
01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:31.520
that means from the door you're telling me. Then from

1325
01:19:31.560 --> 01:19:34.199
the door, you're telling me that you were never going

1326
01:19:34.279 --> 01:19:39.039
to be totally mine because someone else violated the trust

1327
01:19:39.119 --> 01:19:42.319
that you had in them. So now you're never going

1328
01:19:42.399 --> 01:19:45.079
to allow yourself to trust anyone else.

1329
01:19:45.319 --> 01:19:47.319
So what's going with bars?

1330
01:19:48.279 --> 01:19:51.119
But see that word never, you know what I'm saying,

1331
01:19:51.119 --> 01:19:54.000
because like I got so used to being single. I'm like,

1332
01:19:54.159 --> 01:19:56.079
you know, like and I remember I told you, and

1333
01:19:56.119 --> 01:19:58.000
I'm like I'm never getting back in a relationship.

1334
01:20:00.800 --> 01:20:03.079
You can't use absolutely.

1335
01:20:03.600 --> 01:20:05.359
I use that word. I'm never getting back relationship.

1336
01:20:05.399 --> 01:20:07.159
Man, I'm having to hold on, hold up reading. You

1337
01:20:07.159 --> 01:20:08.159
gotta read this one.

1338
01:20:11.479 --> 01:20:13.920
It needs to be said, Lady g You hit home

1339
01:20:14.000 --> 01:20:18.079
on pretty much everything you were talking about, scary, traits,

1340
01:20:18.239 --> 01:20:21.239
more amazing. I need you in my life asat well.

1341
01:20:21.279 --> 01:20:31.840
Send me some emails. I'll be there. Yes, I'm gonna

1342
01:20:31.840 --> 01:20:34.640
start having a little segment on here where it's gonna

1343
01:20:34.680 --> 01:20:36.960
be like, Okay, so we're gonna do this and this

1344
01:20:37.039 --> 01:20:39.079
and this like a dear abby and then we go

1345
01:20:39.159 --> 01:20:42.680
with the show doctor.

1346
01:20:46.840 --> 01:20:52.000
You know what I'm saying, And you.

1347
01:20:51.960 --> 01:20:56.880
Know what's so funny? Jay uh Again. I talked from

1348
01:20:56.880 --> 01:21:00.000
my heart, I talked from experience, I talked from my professor,

1349
01:21:00.359 --> 01:21:04.399
I talk just all of these things. But in the

1350
01:21:04.399 --> 01:21:07.960
world that we live in now, people are so afraid

1351
01:21:08.319 --> 01:21:12.079
of this truth that I'm still single six years later.

1352
01:21:12.840 --> 01:21:15.239
But that's okay because mine is coming.

1353
01:21:16.920 --> 01:21:19.840
I believe how John Nicholson said it.

1354
01:21:20.640 --> 01:21:25.279
You get the truth, and unfortunately that is the truth.

1355
01:21:25.840 --> 01:21:29.560
People shy away from the mirror in front of them

1356
01:21:30.279 --> 01:21:33.159
because as much as they say they want the real one,

1357
01:21:33.560 --> 01:21:37.239
they want the transparent one. They want honesty. They don't

1358
01:21:37.279 --> 01:21:41.079
really want that. They want the honesty that makes them

1359
01:21:41.119 --> 01:21:44.720
look good, makes them feel good, and makes them feel secure.

1360
01:21:46.039 --> 01:21:49.520
Only the only real way to go about something is

1361
01:21:49.840 --> 01:21:53.640
let somebody tell you how they experience you, how they

1362
01:21:53.760 --> 01:21:56.960
see you, so that you can start a conversation with

1363
01:21:57.039 --> 01:22:01.840
them about how we can change together. It's not about

1364
01:22:01.840 --> 01:22:04.000
what you can do, it's not about what he can do.

1365
01:22:04.399 --> 01:22:08.319
It's about this is how you experienced me, but this

1366
01:22:08.359 --> 01:22:11.920
is what you give me, So let's talk about what

1367
01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:16.479
we can do together to change that, to change that.

1368
01:22:17.399 --> 01:22:17.720
You know what?

1369
01:22:17.760 --> 01:22:19.199
Excuse me, I wish I had a sound word because

1370
01:22:19.199 --> 01:22:21.560
I would have droped the bomb on that one, that

1371
01:22:21.680 --> 01:22:22.520
funk flex bomb.

1372
01:22:25.960 --> 01:22:29.680
Nah. But like, you know, where's the lie? You know?

1373
01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:34.199
Like, yeah, the only one, the truth that accommodates them exactly.

1374
01:22:34.680 --> 01:22:35.039
You see.

1375
01:22:35.920 --> 01:22:38.039
You know what the you know, the problem is that

1376
01:22:38.119 --> 01:22:39.800
most of these people out here, you know, they're talking

1377
01:22:39.800 --> 01:22:43.119
about the you know, oh, I won't just keep it

1378
01:22:43.119 --> 01:22:43.560
real with me.

1379
01:22:43.800 --> 01:22:47.199
Yeah, they're being real. We'll keep it real with you.

1380
01:22:47.439 --> 01:22:51.079
Meanwhile, you're out here pranting around barely keeping it realistic. Yeah,

1381
01:22:52.199 --> 01:22:55.159
so it's like what type of real you're talking about?

1382
01:22:56.600 --> 01:22:59.079
Well, damn woof.

1383
01:22:59.840 --> 01:23:03.760
You know, like because because you know what because you

1384
01:23:03.960 --> 01:23:08.800
because because you know what you know, Like like I

1385
01:23:08.840 --> 01:23:11.520
was complaining to you guys, you know, to be a

1386
01:23:11.560 --> 01:23:13.479
text like this week is I was that you know

1387
01:23:14.279 --> 01:23:19.640
that person, right, you know, and then like about things

1388
01:23:19.760 --> 01:23:20.640
going back to normal.

1389
01:23:20.680 --> 01:23:23.479
But what is like you know what what what's normal?

1390
01:23:24.520 --> 01:23:26.199
You know? Like my normalcy right now.

1391
01:23:26.159 --> 01:23:28.960
Is it's different. It's different for everybody.

1392
01:23:28.600 --> 01:23:32.279
You know, Like so perception of reality is different than

1393
01:23:32.279 --> 01:23:32.960
everybody too.

1394
01:23:33.399 --> 01:23:37.000
Yeah, you know so Like at the same time, though,

1395
01:23:37.159 --> 01:23:40.920
it's like there's a common ground that you know that

1396
01:23:40.960 --> 01:23:42.439
you know what I'm saying, Like you guys can meet

1397
01:23:42.520 --> 01:23:43.920
and keep it, you know what I'm saying and make

1398
01:23:44.000 --> 01:23:46.439
that your reality, both your reality.

1399
01:23:46.760 --> 01:23:49.800
And so I've also had people say, oh when they

1400
01:23:49.840 --> 01:23:52.680
ask hold on, it's the people they say, I'm so

1401
01:23:52.840 --> 01:23:56.119
real that their face is real. People don't preach real,

1402
01:23:56.359 --> 01:23:58.880
show it exactly. They don't talk about it. They be

1403
01:23:58.960 --> 01:24:03.199
about it. And I forgot what I was gonna say,

1404
01:24:03.239 --> 01:24:09.720
But keep talking, dubs, because then it'll come back to me.

1405
01:24:11.000 --> 01:24:15.600
Yes, Like so, so like last night I took an explain.

1406
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:17.399
Your hold on. I got a question, I got a

1407
01:24:17.399 --> 01:24:18.760
good question. I got a good question.

1408
01:24:19.439 --> 01:24:20.640
Oh, I was about to jump off the you know

1409
01:24:20.640 --> 01:24:22.479
what I'm saying, jump off on subject real quick to

1410
01:24:22.520 --> 01:24:24.520
tell you what my hold.

1411
01:24:24.359 --> 01:24:26.239
On I got. I got this. This is a question.

1412
01:24:26.680 --> 01:24:32.439
This is a relationship question. So the question is there

1413
01:24:32.520 --> 01:24:37.359
a such thing as unconditional love?

1414
01:24:38.359 --> 01:24:39.960
Absolutely no.

1415
01:24:41.399 --> 01:24:46.800
Only one person can provide you unconditional love and you

1416
01:24:46.840 --> 01:24:52.319
can't see them. That's it. Because human beings, we have conditions.

1417
01:24:53.039 --> 01:24:58.680
It's not like everybody, but there's always a condition even that.

1418
01:24:58.560 --> 01:25:01.479
Makes it, that makes it contracts. It doesn't make it. It

1419
01:25:01.279 --> 01:25:02.520
doesn't make it unconditional.

1420
01:25:03.600 --> 01:25:05.720
Contractual, no, it makes it conditional.

1421
01:25:06.039 --> 01:25:09.560
No, it makes it contract If there are conditions on

1422
01:25:09.680 --> 01:25:13.159
your love, it makes it a contractual agreement. That doesn't

1423
01:25:13.159 --> 01:25:14.159
make it unconditional.

1424
01:25:14.720 --> 01:25:18.079
That's what I'm saying. There is no unconditional love, But

1425
01:25:18.159 --> 01:25:23.119
I wouldn't say that it's contractual, because all right, the

1426
01:25:23.359 --> 01:25:26.880
closest thing that I think comes to what we would

1427
01:25:26.880 --> 01:25:30.760
consider is as an unconditional love would be a parent's

1428
01:25:30.800 --> 01:25:35.680
love and a child's love towards each other. That's what

1429
01:25:35.800 --> 01:25:38.359
I think is the closest that we could ever come

1430
01:25:38.399 --> 01:25:42.520
to unconditional because for the most part, and of course

1431
01:25:42.560 --> 01:25:46.039
there are always exceptions to the rules because we see

1432
01:25:46.039 --> 01:25:50.760
it every day in the news. However, there is still

1433
01:25:50.760 --> 01:25:56.560
a condition on how we express that love and how

1434
01:25:57.520 --> 01:26:01.880
you know, like with kids, especially teens, they have that

1435
01:26:02.039 --> 01:26:05.720
unconditional so called love for their parents because you know,

1436
01:26:05.800 --> 01:26:06.960
my daughter tells me all.

1437
01:26:06.840 --> 01:26:08.800
The time, it's unconditional love.

1438
01:26:10.239 --> 01:26:11.600
No, that's conditional too.

1439
01:26:11.840 --> 01:26:15.279
This is yeah, you know what, you know what you want.

1440
01:26:16.279 --> 01:26:16.840
As long as you.

1441
01:26:19.119 --> 01:26:25.239
Exactly ivy, tell her, tell her, tell her how much

1442
01:26:25.279 --> 01:26:25.720
you love me.

1443
01:26:27.479 --> 01:26:33.079
She's like, said that she didn't love you conditional.

1444
01:26:33.760 --> 01:26:34.640
Leave me alone.

1445
01:26:34.960 --> 01:26:43.439
She's like, yeah, she looks like a hostage. You're a danger.

1446
01:26:45.279 --> 01:26:48.800
Gosh, oh, I remember what my thought was. I was

1447
01:26:48.840 --> 01:26:51.199
gonna I was gonna say that there is you know.

1448
01:26:51.359 --> 01:26:53.439
The guys are like, oh, you want too much, right,

1449
01:26:53.800 --> 01:26:57.840
you want the fairy tale love? Right. The thing is,

1450
01:26:57.920 --> 01:27:01.319
and people never think about this, there is such thing

1451
01:27:01.680 --> 01:27:04.960
as fairy tale love. I believe in fairy tale love. Now,

1452
01:27:05.600 --> 01:27:08.640
it's not the Cinderella fairy tale. It's not the snow

1453
01:27:08.720 --> 01:27:12.039
white fairy tale. A fairy tale love is a love

1454
01:27:12.439 --> 01:27:16.039
that you put work into to create, to be the

1455
01:27:16.079 --> 01:27:20.880
way you want to be and makes you happy. So

1456
01:27:22.199 --> 01:27:25.560
with two people in a relationship there can actually be

1457
01:27:26.079 --> 01:27:29.159
your fairy tale love, because your fairy tale is what

1458
01:27:29.319 --> 01:27:32.960
you write, and as long as you're both in agreement

1459
01:27:33.039 --> 01:27:36.560
with that, you live that fairy tale type of life.

1460
01:27:36.640 --> 01:27:40.119
And so some people's fairy tale life looks like somebody

1461
01:27:40.159 --> 01:27:44.720
that's not gonna be drinking, smoking, beating me. And that's

1462
01:27:44.760 --> 01:27:46.720
my fairy tale that I can live a life without

1463
01:27:46.720 --> 01:27:52.000
those three things. That's possible. Somebody else's fairy tale life

1464
01:27:52.079 --> 01:27:54.800
is I can love you, I can marry you, but

1465
01:27:54.840 --> 01:27:57.239
we don't need to live together. You can live across

1466
01:27:57.279 --> 01:27:59.640
the street and I live over here. I got my house,

1467
01:27:59.680 --> 01:28:02.800
you got your house. But we're married and we're living apart.

1468
01:28:02.760 --> 01:28:06.880
And we get what was that the married?

1469
01:28:07.960 --> 01:28:11.520
Because marriage is not just about living together. It's about commitment.

1470
01:28:12.039 --> 01:28:15.039
It's about a different type of love. It's a love

1471
01:28:15.159 --> 01:28:18.840
that it doesn't matter where you live. I'm still going

1472
01:28:18.920 --> 01:28:22.079
to be this person for you. And I've seen it,

1473
01:28:22.159 --> 01:28:24.560
oh man, I didn't believe it. When that stuff all

1474
01:28:24.600 --> 01:28:28.840
first started coming out. It was called uh, being married

1475
01:28:29.359 --> 01:28:34.880
loving separately, right, And I have seen that work for

1476
01:28:34.960 --> 01:28:35.520
some people.

1477
01:28:36.520 --> 01:28:37.800
I was about to ask you that.

1478
01:28:38.279 --> 01:28:43.840
Yes, and they were one of the happiest couples that

1479
01:28:43.920 --> 01:28:46.520
I have ever seen, and when they first came to me,

1480
01:28:46.600 --> 01:28:51.159
they weren't living separately. Yes, it's about going on the journey,

1481
01:28:51.319 --> 01:28:54.960
and especially when you get into the older ages like us. Again,

1482
01:28:55.079 --> 01:28:58.239
you need something different. So if I were to say

1483
01:28:58.399 --> 01:29:01.159
right now in my life, yes, do I want to

1484
01:29:01.159 --> 01:29:01.600
love again.

1485
01:29:01.720 --> 01:29:01.920
Yes?

1486
01:29:02.000 --> 01:29:04.479
Do I want to get married again? Yes? But do

1487
01:29:04.560 --> 01:29:07.520
I want a man living in my house? No? Do

1488
01:29:07.600 --> 01:29:09.960
I want somebody that I need to cook for every

1489
01:29:10.000 --> 01:29:15.399
single day without fail, No? But I do want to

1490
01:29:15.439 --> 01:29:20.319
give and and and and provide everything that they need.

1491
01:29:20.960 --> 01:29:23.960
We can spend you know, I spend weekends over there

1492
01:29:24.039 --> 01:29:26.600
and they spend the week over here. Like I'm just

1493
01:29:26.840 --> 01:29:28.960
throwing out stuff. This is not where I'm really at.

1494
01:29:29.000 --> 01:29:32.159
But uh, I was gonna say it. Why wouldn't you

1495
01:29:32.159 --> 01:29:33.520
want to live with your husband?

1496
01:29:34.079 --> 01:29:38.960
Well, again, I only have one experience with a husband,

1497
01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:41.239
and I don't want to do that, Like I don't

1498
01:29:41.279 --> 01:29:43.000
want to live through that again. But I also have

1499
01:29:43.119 --> 01:29:46.159
to follow my own advice and I can't treat everybody

1500
01:29:46.239 --> 01:29:49.760
else like my ex.

1501
01:29:49.800 --> 01:29:52.159
But I see this is what this is what I

1502
01:29:52.359 --> 01:29:55.680
you know, just what we were discussing earlier about having

1503
01:29:55.720 --> 01:29:58.159
You know, I'm saying one person paying for another person's.

1504
01:29:57.800 --> 01:30:02.920
Since right, That's what I said. But they were so

1505
01:30:03.079 --> 01:30:09.119
happy only because as a couple they did really well together.

1506
01:30:10.359 --> 01:30:15.279
But living together created a situation for both of them

1507
01:30:15.960 --> 01:30:20.000
that was like they just they didn't stop loving each other,

1508
01:30:20.039 --> 01:30:22.039
They didn't get mad or whatever. They just could not

1509
01:30:22.319 --> 01:30:24.760
do it. They could not do it. But they did

1510
01:30:24.800 --> 01:30:28.800
buy houses right next to each other, so it was

1511
01:30:28.840 --> 01:30:31.000
like free for all. They even put a door in

1512
01:30:31.520 --> 01:30:36.359
They put a door in between the houses and they

1513
01:30:36.439 --> 01:30:38.760
were free to go back and forth. But he had

1514
01:30:38.920 --> 01:30:42.199
his space, and part of that was because she was

1515
01:30:42.359 --> 01:30:47.680
a hoarder and he was hold on, hold on, and

1516
01:30:47.840 --> 01:30:51.479
he was I don't know if he was a germophobe.

1517
01:30:51.600 --> 01:30:56.119
So we're talking two total opposites who loved each other,

1518
01:30:56.159 --> 01:30:59.199
had the same goals in life, loved each other immensely,

1519
01:31:00.239 --> 01:31:05.199
but they could not function, like literally function in each

1520
01:31:05.239 --> 01:31:10.399
other's spaces. So they did this. It was supposed to

1521
01:31:10.399 --> 01:31:12.880
be an experiment, but it ended up being wonderful for

1522
01:31:12.960 --> 01:31:17.760
them because she felt safe and secure in her space

1523
01:31:17.920 --> 01:31:21.079
with all of her things, and he felt safe and

1524
01:31:21.119 --> 01:31:25.960
secure in his sanitary situation. But they still loved each other,

1525
01:31:26.039 --> 01:31:29.239
and they still came together, still lived his husband and wife.

1526
01:31:29.520 --> 01:31:31.960
She still cooked, but she had to cook in his house.

1527
01:31:32.840 --> 01:31:36.960
He still like cuddled and all that, had sex and whatnot,

1528
01:31:37.039 --> 01:31:39.880
but he had to do that in her house because

1529
01:31:39.880 --> 01:31:43.560
he couldn't do it in his house. So we can't

1530
01:31:43.640 --> 01:31:49.279
judge every book by our story. People's stories look different,

1531
01:31:49.279 --> 01:31:53.720
and what works for one doesn't work for everybody. Yeah,

1532
01:31:53.760 --> 01:31:55.199
but it worked for them.

1533
01:31:55.680 --> 01:32:00.479
That's like that, Like that's like being Polly and stuff.

1534
01:32:00.520 --> 01:32:03.880
You know, Like you know, we.

1535
01:32:03.840 --> 01:32:07.199
Can't we can't talk about the poly because exprais in

1536
01:32:07.239 --> 01:32:08.720
here tonight.

1537
01:32:09.319 --> 01:32:11.239
Yeah, but I'm just saying though, like like like like

1538
01:32:11.279 --> 01:32:13.039
you know what, it works for some and you know,

1539
01:32:13.119 --> 01:32:17.039
like like me personally, it wouldn't work because you know what, No,

1540
01:32:17.199 --> 01:32:21.520
it just wouldn't work because no, like and.

1541
01:32:21.479 --> 01:32:26.239
I mean I can't I can't say never. I can't

1542
01:32:26.239 --> 01:32:30.119
say never because I've never experienced it. However, I also

1543
01:32:30.199 --> 01:32:33.479
imagine I wouldn't be good at that either because I don't.

1544
01:32:33.319 --> 01:32:37.000
Like saying her yeah, and I'm.

1545
01:32:36.840 --> 01:32:40.159
Not trying to get nobody else's stuff, no, exactly, Like

1546
01:32:40.359 --> 01:32:42.079
see that's the reason why like me, like on a

1547
01:32:42.119 --> 01:32:43.600
personal level, like I can't do it.

1548
01:32:43.600 --> 01:32:46.079
I mean, it works for some people. But but you.

1549
01:32:46.000 --> 01:32:48.680
Know, like like I've seen people that you know, like

1550
01:32:48.720 --> 01:32:50.880
you know, like when you know, all in on polygamous

1551
01:32:50.880 --> 01:32:54.199
relationships and ruined their ruined their relationship.

1552
01:32:54.720 --> 01:32:57.920
Yeah, that's because I think one of them may have

1553
01:32:58.119 --> 01:33:01.840
not truly been into that. They just did it for

1554
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:05.119
the sake of the other person. To do that, that

1555
01:33:05.279 --> 01:33:09.159
is something that you both have to actually believe and commit.

1556
01:33:11.800 --> 01:33:16.520
Ye you know doubt you know, like no, like I

1557
01:33:16.520 --> 01:33:17.640
can't do that personally.

1558
01:33:17.640 --> 01:33:26.239
Well you know that's yeah, that's what it is, Man's

1559
01:33:26.359 --> 01:33:30.279
that's exactly what it is. I mean, love love, love

1560
01:33:30.359 --> 01:33:32.279
is out there for everybody, it.

1561
01:33:32.199 --> 01:33:34.439
Is, and you know what, it's out there for everybody.

1562
01:33:34.560 --> 01:33:40.239
Unfortunately for some people it takes longer than others. And

1563
01:33:40.319 --> 01:33:44.119
again I start telling people, I'm like, dude, if you're

1564
01:33:44.159 --> 01:33:46.159
not serious about me, get out my door because you're

1565
01:33:46.159 --> 01:33:47.920
blocking my husband's way.

1566
01:33:48.159 --> 01:33:48.800
I have a question.

1567
01:33:49.520 --> 01:33:51.920
Yes, when you're doing your job and like you know,

1568
01:33:51.920 --> 01:33:55.640
you're speaking to people, right, and I'm pretty.

1569
01:33:55.359 --> 01:33:58.199
Sure, well I do a different job now.

1570
01:33:59.279 --> 01:34:01.920
Yeah, because you know, you know, you moved on up

1571
01:34:02.079 --> 01:34:04.880
to the east, but like you know, like when you

1572
01:34:04.880 --> 01:34:07.239
were doing your job before, right, and like you're sitting

1573
01:34:07.279 --> 01:34:08.159
in and I'm pretty sure.

1574
01:34:08.560 --> 01:34:09.680
I'm pretty sure.

1575
01:34:09.520 --> 01:34:12.159
That you know, like everybody was like you know, like

1576
01:34:12.439 --> 01:34:17.600
the majority of people were explaining their proms and like

1577
01:34:18.640 --> 01:34:20.960
you were like you know, and like they were dancing around,

1578
01:34:21.000 --> 01:34:22.079
you know, the main.

1579
01:34:21.920 --> 01:34:24.680
Issue of like them not loving themselves enough?

1580
01:34:26.399 --> 01:34:31.560
Right, Like, what what is the you would say that

1581
01:34:31.560 --> 01:34:35.359
that you know that was the problem?

1582
01:34:35.399 --> 01:34:35.680
All right?

1583
01:34:35.720 --> 01:34:37.319
You cut out for a second, So what is it

1584
01:34:37.359 --> 01:34:38.119
what I would say?

1585
01:34:38.319 --> 01:34:38.680
All right?

1586
01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:42.880
Like what was the percentage of you know, of like

1587
01:34:42.920 --> 01:34:45.680
the people that you know danced around the problems, but

1588
01:34:46.920 --> 01:34:49.359
you figured it out that it was them not loving

1589
01:34:49.359 --> 01:34:50.359
themselves enough?

1590
01:34:50.840 --> 01:34:52.680
Like what, like, what would be the percentage of like,

1591
01:34:52.720 --> 01:34:53.800
you know, like.

1592
01:34:54.359 --> 01:34:56.960
People because they didn't love themselves.

1593
01:34:56.960 --> 01:35:03.399
Exactly eighty ninety I will say that I'm discussing.

1594
01:35:07.079 --> 01:35:14.600
No, I wouldn't even make it that high. No, because

1595
01:35:14.600 --> 01:35:18.359
there are the funny thing is there are really healthy

1596
01:35:21.439 --> 01:35:27.399
healthy what would you call it? It's like healthy dysfunctional marriages.

1597
01:35:27.560 --> 01:35:33.119
There are where the issue is something so tiny and

1598
01:35:33.159 --> 01:35:38.560
so easy that they overlook it daily. Right, So if

1599
01:35:38.560 --> 01:35:44.920
they just worked on one issue, it ended up making

1600
01:35:44.960 --> 01:35:47.319
the biggest difference, And then you have the others where

1601
01:35:47.319 --> 01:35:52.039
there's just too many issues that even as someone who

1602
01:35:52.079 --> 01:35:55.600
believes in marriage and why I got into marriage and

1603
01:35:55.640 --> 01:36:00.279
family therapy, there are just some relationships that you have

1604
01:36:00.399 --> 01:36:04.319
to let them go. You got if you don't get divorced,

1605
01:36:04.359 --> 01:36:08.000
if you don't leave each other, either one of you

1606
01:36:08.199 --> 01:36:10.159
is gonna die or both of you are just going

1607
01:36:10.239 --> 01:36:16.199
to be so, so, so miserable. Right, it's because we're

1608
01:36:16.239 --> 01:36:19.560
not We are not and this is going on now,

1609
01:36:19.600 --> 01:36:24.840
and this is we're not dating intentionally, we're not getting

1610
01:36:24.880 --> 01:36:33.439
married intentionally. We're allowed. Yeah, I was talking to somebody

1611
01:36:33.479 --> 01:36:36.680
the other day, so I was, I mean, I'm not

1612
01:36:36.880 --> 01:36:40.039
really messing with that stuff too much anymore. But like

1613
01:36:40.560 --> 01:36:46.319
I was on a dating site, right, and said, the

1614
01:36:46.399 --> 01:36:51.279
amount of people, I'm telling you, it's just crazy. It's crazy.

1615
01:36:51.720 --> 01:36:54.640
It is crazy. So you got people who are on

1616
01:36:54.720 --> 01:36:58.720
there who are married just looking for hookups. You got

1617
01:36:58.720 --> 01:37:01.760
people who are married and they're looking for a third.

1618
01:37:04.119 --> 01:37:09.359
You've got the single people, especially Latino websites. You got

1619
01:37:09.399 --> 01:37:13.439
the people who are looking for their papers. You know,

1620
01:37:13.520 --> 01:37:15.760
like there's just so many different reasons why people are

1621
01:37:15.800 --> 01:37:20.760
looking for each other. And so one guy, he contacted me,

1622
01:37:21.680 --> 01:37:24.119
and you know, we were talking for a day or so,

1623
01:37:24.479 --> 01:37:28.920
and he he asked me, you know, what are you

1624
01:37:29.000 --> 01:37:31.680
hoping to find on the site? What's what's this? What's that?

1625
01:37:32.119 --> 01:37:35.239
And so I said, well, the truth is, being on

1626
01:37:35.279 --> 01:37:40.640
the site, I'm not expecting to find anything. I'm here

1627
01:37:40.920 --> 01:37:48.800
meeting new people. My hope is that maybe I'll create

1628
01:37:48.840 --> 01:37:52.319
a friendship that turns into it forever. That's my hope.

1629
01:37:52.760 --> 01:37:57.119
But I don't come here expecting to find anything. The

1630
01:37:57.159 --> 01:38:02.159
only thing I expect to find is a conversation. But

1631
01:38:02.239 --> 01:38:05.279
I didn't always feel that way. In the very very

1632
01:38:05.399 --> 01:38:08.319
very beginning, I was there because I'm looking for a partner,

1633
01:38:09.239 --> 01:38:12.239
and I was in like kind of like our first

1634
01:38:12.439 --> 01:38:15.399
person that was senting sending the email, the fear of

1635
01:38:15.439 --> 01:38:19.680
being alone was so high that it was like I

1636
01:38:19.760 --> 01:38:23.640
was willing to accept whoever gave the most interest, you know,

1637
01:38:23.760 --> 01:38:26.600
just willing to accept whatever was offered, right because it

1638
01:38:26.720 --> 01:38:30.439
wasn't a whole lot being offered. But again, when you

1639
01:38:30.520 --> 01:38:33.000
start to love you and you start to see your

1640
01:38:33.159 --> 01:38:36.199
value and what you bring to the table, you also

1641
01:38:36.359 --> 01:38:39.600
learn that you deserve what it is that you want

1642
01:38:39.600 --> 01:38:43.600
and need. So this person's talking to me, and the

1643
01:38:43.680 --> 01:38:46.399
conversation was going, well, you know, he's got kids. He's

1644
01:38:46.439 --> 01:38:50.159
active with his children. And I don't really know how

1645
01:38:50.239 --> 01:38:53.159
we got into the conversation, but at the end I

1646
01:38:53.279 --> 01:38:58.159
found out that he was married, not too like he

1647
01:38:58.640 --> 01:39:00.520
told me he was married before or but that he

1648
01:39:00.560 --> 01:39:03.199
had gotten a divorce. Well, in our conversation, it also

1649
01:39:03.359 --> 01:39:07.000
turns out that he had someone like a friend or

1650
01:39:07.000 --> 01:39:13.159
something who was from the Dominican Republic, and he she

1651
01:39:13.319 --> 01:39:15.560
was gonna she was telling him how she was gonna

1652
01:39:15.560 --> 01:39:20.119
marry somebody and pay him, you know, because she needed

1653
01:39:20.119 --> 01:39:23.239
her papers or whatever. And I don't know what possessed him,

1654
01:39:23.840 --> 01:39:26.720
but he and he said he had no feelings for her,

1655
01:39:26.880 --> 01:39:29.600
like he didn't love her, nothing like that, but that

1656
01:39:30.119 --> 01:39:33.399
he had preferred to help her then to allow her

1657
01:39:33.479 --> 01:39:37.439
to go ask a total stranger. So he married her

1658
01:39:37.800 --> 01:39:40.880
to help her, to help her out. Right. But the

1659
01:39:40.960 --> 01:39:45.520
thing is, by him doing that, I could I could

1660
01:39:45.600 --> 01:39:48.880
have been probably his dream come true. Who knows or

1661
01:39:48.960 --> 01:39:54.399
vice versa. Right, But as soon as he told me

1662
01:39:54.439 --> 01:39:58.199
he was married, he could have explained to me that

1663
01:39:58.359 --> 01:40:02.960
she was in West Booty. I don't care the fact

1664
01:40:02.960 --> 01:40:06.000
that he was married. It didn't matter why he was married,

1665
01:40:06.039 --> 01:40:09.720
who she was, the fact that he was married right

1666
01:40:09.760 --> 01:40:13.920
there stopped my conversation with him.

1667
01:40:14.079 --> 01:40:15.039
Shut everything down.

1668
01:40:15.119 --> 01:40:18.279
H Yes, because my thing is, first of all, first

1669
01:40:18.359 --> 01:40:23.840
and foremost, I will not do to people what people

1670
01:40:24.119 --> 01:40:26.039
have done to me. I won't.

1671
01:40:27.119 --> 01:40:28.520
That's what makes you a good person, you.

1672
01:40:28.479 --> 01:40:32.479
Know that, right, Yes, But good people often hurt the most.

1673
01:40:32.560 --> 01:40:35.159
But that's okay because my gift is not here on

1674
01:40:35.199 --> 01:40:36.680
earth anyway. So whatever.

1675
01:40:38.279 --> 01:40:44.039
So I like that reference, by the way, yep.

1676
01:40:44.319 --> 01:40:45.359
What would you would you say?

1677
01:40:45.399 --> 01:40:47.279
Coles?

1678
01:40:48.880 --> 01:40:51.359
I like that, I like I like that. I like

1679
01:40:51.439 --> 01:40:57.920
that reference, by the way. That was very continue.

1680
01:40:58.039 --> 01:41:01.479
Yeah, and and and the thing is, like again, it

1681
01:41:01.640 --> 01:41:03.960
used to hurt me to feel that way, like I

1682
01:41:04.000 --> 01:41:05.960
want to. People want to be liked, they want to

1683
01:41:06.000 --> 01:41:08.079
be loved, they want to be cared about. But the

1684
01:41:08.159 --> 01:41:11.760
truth is, what good is all of that when we

1685
01:41:11.800 --> 01:41:13.800
live in a world that people are stabbing each other

1686
01:41:13.800 --> 01:41:17.239
in the back anyway? So what's the point? Like with work,

1687
01:41:17.479 --> 01:41:20.680
people are so busy trying to make that money that

1688
01:41:20.720 --> 01:41:23.279
they're not thinking about the fact that they're killing themselves

1689
01:41:23.359 --> 01:41:27.119
for a job that would replace them in a heartbeat.

1690
01:41:27.279 --> 01:41:30.119
Right, you know. I told my brother that and he

1691
01:41:30.159 --> 01:41:31.239
got mad at me and stuff.

1692
01:41:32.000 --> 01:41:34.319
No, we're so busy trying to make a living that

1693
01:41:34.359 --> 01:41:35.560
we forget to make a life.

1694
01:41:36.359 --> 01:41:42.520
So Yo, she's on point tonight, bro, Well what.

1695
01:41:42.640 --> 01:41:43.640
I'm usually allowed?

1696
01:41:44.159 --> 01:41:44.399
I do?

1697
01:41:44.920 --> 01:41:45.560
Let me stop.

1698
01:41:46.680 --> 01:41:51.560
It's Sunday, Yes, definitely, definitely.

1699
01:41:51.600 --> 01:41:54.119
So the guy's telling me, he's like, but we're not together,

1700
01:41:54.319 --> 01:41:57.039
like and you know, I said, well, are you getting

1701
01:41:57.159 --> 01:42:00.800
a divorce like within the next month or so. He's like, well, no,

1702
01:42:00.880 --> 01:42:02.920
because she's going through her process. Blah blah blah. I

1703
01:42:03.000 --> 01:42:05.800
was like, all right, well, I'm just gonna let you

1704
01:42:05.840 --> 01:42:08.000
know this. It's not that I don't like talking to you.

1705
01:42:08.079 --> 01:42:10.479
I think you're an attractive man. I think you're nice.

1706
01:42:10.520 --> 01:42:12.960
I love how you are with your kids. I said,

1707
01:42:13.000 --> 01:42:17.000
but point blank is you are legally married to somebody.

1708
01:42:17.600 --> 01:42:20.399
And for me that I don't care if you've been

1709
01:42:20.560 --> 01:42:24.279
separated for twenty years you are still legally married, because

1710
01:42:24.319 --> 01:42:27.359
then what happens if I decide I want to run

1711
01:42:27.399 --> 01:42:30.479
away with you and go get married. We can't. We

1712
01:42:30.560 --> 01:42:34.479
can't because you're already legally married. And I can't and

1713
01:42:34.560 --> 01:42:38.319
I can't truly open myself up to you, let myself

1714
01:42:38.399 --> 01:42:41.159
go to you, because what if one day she decides

1715
01:42:41.199 --> 01:42:45.319
to come back. Legally, you belong in that relationship right,

1716
01:42:45.520 --> 01:42:50.960
so you can never truly be a part of my life.

1717
01:42:49.960 --> 01:42:55.520
And again, because I want to date intentionally, I want

1718
01:42:55.560 --> 01:42:59.439
an intentional friendship. I want an intentional relationship. I want

1719
01:42:59.439 --> 01:43:03.039
to make sure building something together and not just fitting

1720
01:43:03.079 --> 01:43:06.800
people as pieces into the life that already exists. No,

1721
01:43:07.039 --> 01:43:10.119
I guess I have a happy, pieceful life. But if

1722
01:43:10.159 --> 01:43:15.439
and when my other, my puzzle piece, comes along, I

1723
01:43:15.479 --> 01:43:19.279
can't expect him to fit himself into my life. And

1724
01:43:19.359 --> 01:43:21.239
I don't want to just be a piece fitting into

1725
01:43:21.319 --> 01:43:22.399
somebody else's life.

1726
01:43:23.000 --> 01:43:26.479
I need I tell you what, I'm not getting married

1727
01:43:26.479 --> 01:43:28.319
and have my wife lived somewhere else neither.

1728
01:43:29.800 --> 01:43:32.479
That's okay, you know what, that's the damn sure.

1729
01:43:34.079 --> 01:43:37.560
But again to each like everybody has their needs, their

1730
01:43:37.600 --> 01:43:38.720
wants and their desires.

1731
01:43:38.880 --> 01:43:41.640
As far as he goes into the she shed, that's it,

1732
01:43:42.199 --> 01:43:47.439
she's going.

1733
01:43:49.239 --> 01:43:50.119
What did you say?

1734
01:43:50.359 --> 01:43:52.520
He said the kitchen.

1735
01:43:55.760 --> 01:43:57.680
That's when I that's when you turn me off. Man.

1736
01:43:58.239 --> 01:44:00.000
No, No, I'll just playing.

1737
01:44:00.039 --> 01:44:02.479
I'm just playing, just playing like like like, yo, you

1738
01:44:02.520 --> 01:44:05.439
know what I can't like for instance, for instance, right,

1739
01:44:05.720 --> 01:44:09.000
you know, like you're saying we're friendship and everything.

1740
01:44:09.439 --> 01:44:11.479
That's how That's how my lady is.

1741
01:44:13.239 --> 01:44:15.479
I want one person that I don't need to call

1742
01:44:15.640 --> 01:44:20.199
nobody else to talk about my stuff, to ask their

1743
01:44:20.239 --> 01:44:23.760
their their input, because I have that person. I have

1744
01:44:23.880 --> 01:44:27.239
that person there who is not gonna he's gonna listen

1745
01:44:27.479 --> 01:44:31.560
and not judge. Right, We're gonna listen and not judge and.

1746
01:44:32.199 --> 01:44:36.359
Drop that draw or or or or you know what.

1747
01:44:36.439 --> 01:44:39.119
You know what if it's if there's judgment involved, you

1748
01:44:39.159 --> 01:44:40.560
know what I'm saying, it's not.

1749
01:44:40.600 --> 01:44:47.319
But I can't say judgment, constructive criticism.

1750
01:44:45.399 --> 01:44:47.960
Input input of course.

1751
01:44:48.039 --> 01:44:52.079
All right, all right, you know what, lady, do you

1752
01:44:52.159 --> 01:44:53.560
have a question? You know what I'm saying because like

1753
01:44:53.760 --> 01:44:57.439
because like I already asked you this question, but I

1754
01:44:57.439 --> 01:45:00.600
need the females, a woman of you know what I'm saying,

1755
01:45:00.720 --> 01:45:02.399
A woman's input.

1756
01:45:02.239 --> 01:45:06.039
A woman high intelligence, yes, input.

1757
01:45:06.800 --> 01:45:10.039
So and I didn't realize that scares people away from.

1758
01:45:09.800 --> 01:45:13.159
Me too, you know what?

1759
01:45:13.880 --> 01:45:15.680
You know what in all honesty, like the fact that

1760
01:45:15.720 --> 01:45:17.640
you're that you're a therapist. You know what I'm saying

1761
01:45:17.680 --> 01:45:18.720
that you know.

1762
01:45:19.000 --> 01:45:19.560
That right there?

1763
01:45:19.680 --> 01:45:21.319
I try not to tell you what I.

1764
01:45:21.279 --> 01:45:24.079
Do, but but you know what they're gonna know anyways,

1765
01:45:24.079 --> 01:45:25.359
by the way you convey you you know what I'm

1766
01:45:25.399 --> 01:45:27.800
saying the way you convey your words and the way

1767
01:45:27.800 --> 01:45:29.239
you talk, they're gonna know.

1768
01:45:30.039 --> 01:45:32.159
There's this. I don't know if you guys have seen.

1769
01:45:32.000 --> 01:45:35.399
It, but there's because.

1770
01:45:36.760 --> 01:45:40.039
It's a real, real that's going on on Facebook right

1771
01:45:40.560 --> 01:45:45.800
where the guy says, well, even on Instagram whatever, but

1772
01:45:45.840 --> 01:45:48.760
it's a real It's like a cartoon reel where the

1773
01:45:48.800 --> 01:45:51.279
guy and the girl are on the phone and he says,

1774
01:45:51.359 --> 01:45:54.239
I'm done when she starts sounding like h R right.

1775
01:45:54.920 --> 01:45:58.560
And so somebody said that to me. Somebody sent it

1776
01:45:58.640 --> 01:46:02.199
to me, and I watched it. I watched it, and no, lie,

1777
01:46:02.920 --> 01:46:06.000
after I finished watching it, I was crying it up.

1778
01:46:06.319 --> 01:46:08.359
So I was like, so are you telling me? I

1779
01:46:08.359 --> 01:46:10.800
imagine that's how people feel when they're talking to me.

1780
01:46:11.319 --> 01:46:14.119
So the guy calls the woman up and he's like, hey, baby,

1781
01:46:14.159 --> 01:46:16.800
it's been a while, why ain't you call me? And

1782
01:46:16.880 --> 01:46:20.079
she immediately goes on to the thing and says, well,

1783
01:46:20.119 --> 01:46:23.479
as per our last conversation, sir, you stated that you

1784
01:46:23.560 --> 01:46:26.720
were not looking for a full time position, and we

1785
01:46:26.760 --> 01:46:29.439
are offering a full time position. You said you were

1786
01:46:29.439 --> 01:46:32.159
looking for a part time position and we are not

1787
01:46:32.279 --> 01:46:34.920
hiring for a part time position. And then you hear

1788
01:46:35.000 --> 01:46:37.800
some dude in the background at her place talking about

1789
01:46:38.079 --> 01:46:41.119
come sit on it again or something like that, and

1790
01:46:41.159 --> 01:46:45.520
the dude is like, Yo, who's that sir? You stated

1791
01:46:45.560 --> 01:46:47.800
you are not looking for a full time position. So

1792
01:46:47.840 --> 01:46:52.079
we put the we put the ad out advertising a

1793
01:46:52.119 --> 01:46:55.279
full time position, and that is one of our applicants.

1794
01:46:55.960 --> 01:46:59.039
And due to his and he is interested in a

1795
01:46:59.079 --> 01:47:03.439
full time position, and based on his performance, he is

1796
01:47:03.479 --> 01:47:06.439
probably going to get the full time position. So I

1797
01:47:06.520 --> 01:47:10.720
thank you very much for your interest. However, good luck

1798
01:47:10.760 --> 01:47:14.520
with your future endeavors. However, the position has been felled.

1799
01:47:14.800 --> 01:47:18.800
And then she hangs up. And so people tell me,

1800
01:47:18.920 --> 01:47:21.239
like when they talk to me that that's how I sound.

1801
01:47:21.399 --> 01:47:24.600
And I said, man, there's part of me that's like, oh,

1802
01:47:24.640 --> 01:47:27.000
that sucks, but then the other part of me that's like, well,

1803
01:47:27.079 --> 01:47:33.199
that's that's who I am. And if if my confidence

1804
01:47:33.359 --> 01:47:36.399
brings out your insecurity, what am I supposed to do

1805
01:47:36.439 --> 01:47:36.880
about that?

1806
01:47:36.960 --> 01:47:38.159
Right?

1807
01:47:39.039 --> 01:47:42.439
Tech support?

1808
01:47:43.439 --> 01:47:46.079
That's why they say opposite is a track, right, So

1809
01:47:46.159 --> 01:47:49.039
you can be the mouthpiece and I'll be the brain.

1810
01:47:49.359 --> 01:47:54.159
Right, Hey, teamwork.

1811
01:47:54.319 --> 01:47:56.079
Yeah, it makes the dream work.

1812
01:47:56.600 --> 01:48:01.039
So you know what, I have a Yo, Yo, I

1813
01:48:01.079 --> 01:48:01.640
have a question.

1814
01:48:01.720 --> 01:48:06.159
I have a question, lady, now you know, like as

1815
01:48:06.159 --> 01:48:08.840
a matter of fact, you know, like I'm gonna you

1816
01:48:08.880 --> 01:48:12.119
know what I'm saying from experience, right, So I'm gonna

1817
01:48:12.119 --> 01:48:14.119
tell you. I'm gonna tell you how like a lady

1818
01:48:14.119 --> 01:48:17.159
and I like actually like met right now. It was

1819
01:48:17.199 --> 01:48:19.439
on Facebook, you know, like like we were friends before

1820
01:48:19.520 --> 01:48:22.560
you know, we found and we found you know, we

1821
01:48:22.640 --> 01:48:24.479
found each other in like similar places like you know,

1822
01:48:24.520 --> 01:48:27.720
like you know how they have like a public form

1823
01:48:27.720 --> 01:48:30.520
you know, like you know, someone you know comments on

1824
01:48:30.560 --> 01:48:32.840
it and whatever. You know, so we find each other

1825
01:48:32.880 --> 01:48:33.560
in similar places.

1826
01:48:33.560 --> 01:48:35.520
Whatever. It's like, oh, you know what, we kind of like,

1827
01:48:35.520 --> 01:48:37.159
you know, get along on that part, but like it

1828
01:48:37.239 --> 01:48:38.800
was ever whatever. Right.

1829
01:48:39.479 --> 01:48:42.640
So there was one post that she put up about

1830
01:48:42.640 --> 01:48:44.600
like how she almost lost her life in a fire,

1831
01:48:45.680 --> 01:48:49.880
right you know, and and I remember that, you know

1832
01:48:49.920 --> 01:48:51.840
what I'm saying, And I remember that fire, you know

1833
01:48:51.880 --> 01:48:54.399
what I'm saying, and like, you know, like and like

1834
01:48:54.920 --> 01:48:57.000
she was talking about like like why you know, I'm saying,

1835
01:48:57.239 --> 01:49:00.359
I don't understand why I'm still here. So I told her,

1836
01:49:00.399 --> 01:49:02.439
I'm like, yo, you know what, God has a reason

1837
01:49:02.479 --> 01:49:03.319
for you you know.

1838
01:49:04.279 --> 01:49:05.159
And then you know, like.

1839
01:49:06.760 --> 01:49:08.640
Yeah, well a little bit, you know what I'm saying,

1840
01:49:08.680 --> 01:49:10.520
and then like it was an it was another thing

1841
01:49:10.560 --> 01:49:13.960
that that you know, like like like the that time

1842
01:49:13.960 --> 01:49:15.640
that she was going through, like you know, like she was.

1843
01:49:15.680 --> 01:49:17.000
Like going through a breakup or whatever.

1844
01:49:17.079 --> 01:49:20.119
Right, and then she you know, she posted something about

1845
01:49:20.479 --> 01:49:22.199
what she wants out of a man and stuff, right,

1846
01:49:23.039 --> 01:49:25.199
and I inboxed. I was like, yo, listen, I need

1847
01:49:25.239 --> 01:49:26.760
you to take I was say, listen, you know what,

1848
01:49:26.800 --> 01:49:29.199
with all due respect, take that down. And she was

1849
01:49:29.239 --> 01:49:34.319
like why, I said, because you know what I'm saying,

1850
01:49:34.680 --> 01:49:36.680
Because because I told her. I was saying, because that's

1851
01:49:36.680 --> 01:49:38.359
how you're going to track people. That's gonna you know

1852
01:49:38.359 --> 01:49:40.479
what I'm saying, playing to the role. You know what

1853
01:49:40.479 --> 01:49:42.720
I'm saying, Like you're not going to meet the person

1854
01:49:42.800 --> 01:49:45.159
you want to meet, don't You're not gonna meet the representative.

1855
01:49:45.880 --> 01:49:49.199
Yeah, you know you're gonna meet what you for now?

1856
01:49:49.279 --> 01:49:50.880
Yeah exactly exactly.

1857
01:49:51.199 --> 01:49:53.039
So then like you know, like we just you know

1858
01:49:53.039 --> 01:49:54.680
what I'm saying, Like we just started to inbox each

1859
01:49:54.680 --> 01:49:56.520
other and then like you know, we started hanging out.

1860
01:49:56.760 --> 01:49:58.600
Everything was cool, everything was great, and then like you know,

1861
01:49:58.640 --> 01:50:00.279
it just led to other things and like you know,

1862
01:50:00.840 --> 01:50:02.840
and here we are now, you know, like that's my

1863
01:50:03.000 --> 01:50:05.039
you know, like like you know, like that is you

1864
01:50:05.079 --> 01:50:07.720
know what I'm saying, that's my homegirl, that's my best friend,

1865
01:50:07.960 --> 01:50:09.960
that's my you know, future ex wife, and I'm just playing.

1866
01:50:11.199 --> 01:50:13.720
I just thought, I thought, you know what. I tell

1867
01:50:13.760 --> 01:50:15.560
her that, like, yo, you're my future ex wife, and

1868
01:50:15.640 --> 01:50:17.000
she gives me like a heart. I have to look

1869
01:50:17.279 --> 01:50:18.960
to Corleone be like Yo, you're bugging bro.

1870
01:50:19.039 --> 01:50:20.800
I'm like, yeah, like shut up.

1871
01:50:21.079 --> 01:50:24.680
You shouldn't play like that because you call it into

1872
01:50:24.800 --> 01:50:27.640
existence manifest.

1873
01:50:27.239 --> 01:50:29.920
No wait wait wait wait wait hold on, you know what?

1874
01:50:29.960 --> 01:50:31.359
And then I would tell her every time I'm like,

1875
01:50:31.600 --> 01:50:32.479
I'm like, yo, you know what.

1876
01:50:33.600 --> 01:50:35.520
I was like, you know what, you know that, you

1877
01:50:35.640 --> 01:50:37.760
know that's not how that's going to play out, right,

1878
01:50:38.640 --> 01:50:41.239
But like see, now here's the thing. Right now the

1879
01:50:41.319 --> 01:50:45.199
question is this. I'll be you know what, like I'll

1880
01:50:45.279 --> 01:50:47.239
encourage her to go out with her friends all the time,

1881
01:50:48.399 --> 01:50:51.640
right And she was like why, I'm like, because I

1882
01:50:51.680 --> 01:50:53.840
don't want you to forget that you have friends, like

1883
01:50:53.920 --> 01:50:56.760
you know, like, yes, you're a mother. Now, don't forget

1884
01:50:56.760 --> 01:51:01.039
who you are before that. Yeah, you know, Like I'm like,

1885
01:51:01.119 --> 01:51:03.600
don't forget who you are, go out, go out with

1886
01:51:03.640 --> 01:51:05.640
your sister go out, you know, like like you know,

1887
01:51:05.720 --> 01:51:07.279
she's like, what about you and the baby. I'm like,

1888
01:51:07.479 --> 01:51:10.680
I go to Coleone's house. That's daddy, That's that's daddy daycare.

1889
01:51:10.720 --> 01:51:13.359
I'll just drive over there. I'll pick you up, you know,

1890
01:51:13.479 --> 01:51:16.079
like I have no problem, you know, just go out.

1891
01:51:16.119 --> 01:51:19.319
I want you to live, you know, because like because

1892
01:51:19.600 --> 01:51:22.279
because on the times that she's home sometimes, like you know,

1893
01:51:23.319 --> 01:51:26.000
I'll like you know, like take a ride or whatever. Right,

1894
01:51:27.399 --> 01:51:29.560
you know, I go down to my parents by myself.

1895
01:51:29.560 --> 01:51:31.439
I go to cole Oons by myself, Like you know,

1896
01:51:31.520 --> 01:51:35.880
I'll go somewhere eventually, you know, like I'll have to

1897
01:51:35.880 --> 01:51:37.960
stop by Walmart all the time.

1898
01:51:38.960 --> 01:51:41.520
Hey, well she does that. Ship man should be pissing me.

1899
01:51:41.760 --> 01:51:44.760
Anyways, you know, like like you know, like it's it's

1900
01:51:44.800 --> 01:51:46.479
always for two things. And the next thing, you know,

1901
01:51:46.600 --> 01:51:49.319
I get like a text message of litany of stuff

1902
01:51:49.319 --> 01:51:51.720
that you know that we need and stuff right, and

1903
01:51:51.760 --> 01:51:55.680
I'm like, oh man, I'm like, bro, you know what

1904
01:51:55.680 --> 01:51:56.319
I'm saying.

1905
01:51:56.079 --> 01:51:58.399
Like why do this now? Oh?

1906
01:51:58.439 --> 01:51:59.359
Because you're outside.

1907
01:51:59.479 --> 01:52:02.159
I'm like, but anyways, but that's besides that, you know,

1908
01:52:02.239 --> 01:52:04.840
like like you know, I want you know what I

1909
01:52:04.880 --> 01:52:08.199
want her to like you know, like you know, like

1910
01:52:08.399 --> 01:52:10.039
go outside, like be outside more.

1911
01:52:10.079 --> 01:52:12.920
You know, like but like her things, that's.

1912
01:52:12.760 --> 01:52:15.199
Not first maybe it's not like it's not her thing.

1913
01:52:15.239 --> 01:52:17.159
Yeah, yo yo yo, you know what yo yo, you

1914
01:52:17.199 --> 01:52:17.439
know what.

1915
01:52:17.520 --> 01:52:19.960
I'm starting to see that that you know, like she's

1916
01:52:20.000 --> 01:52:23.359
always been the homebody, right you see what I mean?

1917
01:52:23.640 --> 01:52:25.439
Like like me at the other hand, like see this

1918
01:52:25.479 --> 01:52:28.720
is where you know we're opposites because me, I I

1919
01:52:28.760 --> 01:52:32.439
love being outside. I love it, you know, like I'm

1920
01:52:32.479 --> 01:52:34.960
a spurt of moment type person. You know that's cool.

1921
01:52:35.000 --> 01:52:37.479
Leone like what like one minute, you know, blah blah

1922
01:52:37.479 --> 01:52:38.880
blah blah. I'll call him up out of no where. Yo,

1923
01:52:38.880 --> 01:52:39.279
you're busy.

1924
01:52:40.239 --> 01:52:42.159
No, I ain't got nothing to do. I want to

1925
01:52:42.159 --> 01:52:44.199
feel the cheese sticks sandwiches going on the Philly.

1926
01:52:45.640 --> 01:52:46.640
Pass by my house.

1927
01:52:47.000 --> 01:52:49.640
No, no, but hold on though, like like like you

1928
01:52:49.640 --> 01:52:57.600
know what, we haven't react that in a minute, but

1929
01:52:57.840 --> 01:53:00.399
like you know, like twenty twenty one, you haven't done

1930
01:53:00.439 --> 01:53:02.760
that since done, you know, I haven't been down.

1931
01:53:02.680 --> 01:53:06.880
To Philly like three yeah, like four years. No wait

1932
01:53:06.920 --> 01:53:07.319
that's both.

1933
01:53:07.319 --> 01:53:09.520
No, that's a lot because we went down to Parks,

1934
01:53:09.560 --> 01:53:12.439
but that was like two years ago. You know, but

1935
01:53:12.479 --> 01:53:14.920
other than that, like you know, like like I'm spurred

1936
01:53:14.920 --> 01:53:17.439
the moment, you know, like like you know where hers

1937
01:53:17.479 --> 01:53:20.279
like she you know, you have to give her a

1938
01:53:20.319 --> 01:53:21.479
couple of days in advance.

1939
01:53:22.000 --> 01:53:23.239
Yeah, yeah, you know.

1940
01:53:24.199 --> 01:53:27.199
But am I wrong for encouraging her to, like, you know,

1941
01:53:27.399 --> 01:53:29.479
just go outside, you know, like be with your friends

1942
01:53:29.479 --> 01:53:31.520
and stuff, you know, like even if she don't want

1943
01:53:31.520 --> 01:53:35.319
to do it, because I just want to make sure because.

1944
01:53:35.119 --> 01:53:38.039
This is part of where that love language thing comes in.

1945
01:53:38.319 --> 01:53:45.520
That woman deserves a Philly cheese stay because it's like

1946
01:53:45.600 --> 01:53:48.199
kind of like where those love languages came in when

1947
01:53:48.199 --> 01:53:51.640
that started. The thing is we were loving people the

1948
01:53:51.680 --> 01:53:54.720
way we wanted to be loved and not the way

1949
01:53:54.800 --> 01:53:57.399
they wanted to be loved, right, And that's where this

1950
01:53:57.520 --> 01:54:02.399
communication with each other comes in so important. Asking her

1951
01:54:02.800 --> 01:54:06.960
what makes her happy? Now, we're the ones that are

1952
01:54:06.960 --> 01:54:10.039
responsible for our own happiness. So if she's not giving

1953
01:54:10.079 --> 01:54:12.920
you the full information, that's going to be on her.

1954
01:54:13.479 --> 01:54:15.880
But the thing is, if she's telling you that the

1955
01:54:16.000 --> 01:54:18.640
night's out and the hanging out here and the hanging

1956
01:54:18.680 --> 01:54:21.880
out there is not for her, believe her when she

1957
01:54:22.000 --> 01:54:22.640
tells you that.

1958
01:54:23.319 --> 01:54:23.520
Yep.

1959
01:54:24.760 --> 01:54:26.800
But then you also have to share with her. The

1960
01:54:26.840 --> 01:54:30.560
way you feel love is when you can spontaneously go

1961
01:54:30.680 --> 01:54:33.800
to Corleone's house or go see your parents. So that's

1962
01:54:33.840 --> 01:54:36.600
where you guys have to have the communication. And the

1963
01:54:36.640 --> 01:54:39.560
thing is, and I heard this on a show too,

1964
01:54:40.920 --> 01:54:46.960
being honest and being transparent are two different things. Being

1965
01:54:47.119 --> 01:54:50.439
honest is when somebody asks you a question and you

1966
01:54:50.560 --> 01:54:54.960
tell them the truth. Being transparent is when you're saying,

1967
01:54:56.079 --> 01:54:58.840
before you do it, I'm going to go to my

1968
01:54:58.880 --> 01:55:02.279
mom's house because and because I need to do a

1969
01:55:02.439 --> 01:55:06.279
B and C. And this is who's going to be there, Fulana,

1970
01:55:06.560 --> 01:55:08.239
her sister, her brother.

1971
01:55:08.840 --> 01:55:09.439
You don't like.

1972
01:55:11.600 --> 01:55:13.000
Nah, you know what? You know what?

1973
01:55:13.039 --> 01:55:14.640
We don't like Fulana. We don't you know what I'm saying,

1974
01:55:14.680 --> 01:55:16.800
Like the same way you don't like Fulano. We don't

1975
01:55:16.840 --> 01:55:17.920
like Fulano. You know what I'm saying.

1976
01:55:18.039 --> 01:55:21.039
But you can't and and and that's another thing. People

1977
01:55:21.119 --> 01:55:27.520
make assumptions based on their environmental upbringing. Right. So I

1978
01:55:28.119 --> 01:55:31.720
left the city of Camden, New Jersey, many many many

1979
01:55:31.760 --> 01:55:39.760
moons ago, although I still live close I. One of

1980
01:55:39.760 --> 01:55:42.039
the reasons I left is because I could no longer

1981
01:55:42.119 --> 01:55:47.600
deal with the mentality or the mindset that you have

1982
01:55:47.720 --> 01:55:52.039
to have to live in that city. Now, mind you,

1983
01:55:52.199 --> 01:55:54.520
I'll still go walking there at one two o'clock in

1984
01:55:54.560 --> 01:55:58.159
the morning and not be afraid because that is that's

1985
01:55:58.760 --> 01:56:02.720
where Yeah, I was taught. And the thing is, if

1986
01:56:02.720 --> 01:56:05.479
you go there looking like a victim, you're gonna be one.

1987
01:56:05.960 --> 01:56:08.920
So that's everywhere, you know what I mean.

1988
01:56:09.039 --> 01:56:12.279
Yeah, so I'm not afraid. But at the same token,

1989
01:56:12.640 --> 01:56:15.760
that doesn't mean I have love for my hood. But

1990
01:56:15.840 --> 01:56:20.680
I don't love my hood all right, because they keep them,

1991
01:56:21.039 --> 01:56:29.039
they keep we keep perpetuating the same cycle of of ignorance,

1992
01:56:29.880 --> 01:56:35.119
of ignorance that keeps people playing these same exact games

1993
01:56:35.119 --> 01:56:38.960
over and over and over again. You know, like as

1994
01:56:39.000 --> 01:56:43.000
many times I see guys saying or even girls, you know,

1995
01:56:43.039 --> 01:56:45.840
I want somebody who don't play no games. First thing

1996
01:56:45.880 --> 01:56:49.279
that happens, we get on the phone, they're playing a game.

1997
01:56:49.359 --> 01:56:52.520
They want me to read between the lines. I just

1998
01:56:52.560 --> 01:56:56.600
wanted to throw that out there. Thank you, Aman, we are.

1999
01:56:57.359 --> 01:57:01.000
Tell you we are a team.

2000
01:57:01.079 --> 01:57:04.439
Yeah. So it's like you want somebody who don't play

2001
01:57:04.479 --> 01:57:07.159
the games, but then you're playing these go get their games,

2002
01:57:07.199 --> 01:57:09.720
you know where I gotta between.

2003
01:57:09.720 --> 01:57:10.520
Get their games?

2004
01:57:12.199 --> 01:57:15.760
Yo, yo, yo, Look at yo, look at you with

2005
01:57:15.800 --> 01:57:16.439
the metaphors.

2006
01:57:16.520 --> 01:57:19.039
Yel you're gonna be someone's ghost riders soon. Man.

2007
01:57:19.840 --> 01:57:22.439
Yo, I'm letting y'all know. I'm working on my book.

2008
01:57:22.840 --> 01:57:23.840
I'm working on my book.

2009
01:57:24.479 --> 01:57:24.960
That's what's up.

2010
01:57:25.119 --> 01:57:27.560
That's what It's gonna be an Amazon soon enough.

2011
01:57:28.399 --> 01:57:31.119
All right, all right, so we all we.

2012
01:57:31.159 --> 01:57:33.359
All any any any any any last words? Who I

2013
01:57:33.399 --> 01:57:35.800
hope with the question of the night is one last

2014
01:57:37.279 --> 01:57:38.520
last words from anybody?

2015
01:57:39.399 --> 01:57:44.560
Yeah, man, like like, yo, you know what, hold on man,

2016
01:57:45.920 --> 01:57:49.680
I thought, Yo, you know what I saw the cherries

2017
01:57:49.720 --> 01:57:51.520
or whatever I said, Wait a minute, I'm not driving.

2018
01:57:51.520 --> 01:57:54.319
I'm on the corner. Man.

2019
01:57:54.600 --> 01:57:57.520
Look man, just yeah, the cherry you know, the lights.

2020
01:57:58.680 --> 01:58:00.720
You know what I'm saying, police lights, the police likes

2021
01:58:00.760 --> 01:58:02.359
I'm outside. I'm outside, you know.

2022
01:58:02.359 --> 01:58:04.439
Like you're always outside?

2023
01:58:05.039 --> 01:58:07.399
Yeah yeah, yeah, you know what because.

2024
01:58:07.800 --> 01:58:09.840
My daughter because you're always outside.

2025
01:58:10.520 --> 01:58:13.000
Well, yo, you know what? First off, first off, you

2026
01:58:13.039 --> 01:58:15.640
know what, yo? First off, real quick, right, you know,

2027
01:58:15.640 --> 01:58:18.119
and Codelon has been witness to this. Right.

2028
01:58:18.439 --> 01:58:22.199
Whenever I go somewhere far yo, you know what, yo, Yo,

2029
01:58:22.199 --> 01:58:25.039
you know what, whenever I go somewhere far, that's like

2030
01:58:25.239 --> 01:58:26.840
you know what I'm saying like that that's beyond like

2031
01:58:26.880 --> 01:58:29.520
you know Cordelon's beyond. You know what I'm saying, my

2032
01:58:29.600 --> 01:58:32.119
house or Elizabeth in New Jersey. I always send him

2033
01:58:32.119 --> 01:58:35.720
my location. The reason being is for many reasons, right. One,

2034
01:58:36.039 --> 01:58:39.560
if something happens, you know where I'm at. No God forbid,

2035
01:58:39.640 --> 01:58:41.079
if something happens, you know where I'm at.

2036
01:58:41.239 --> 01:58:44.600
But sharing that location all the time, bro, you.

2037
01:58:44.560 --> 01:58:48.920
Know, like you know what, like you know what, example yesterday, right,

2038
01:58:50.920 --> 01:58:52.720
you know, like I want to go do something for

2039
01:58:52.760 --> 01:58:56.079
the homeless, you know, like you know, like just you know,

2040
01:58:56.279 --> 01:58:57.199
with the church and stuff.

2041
01:58:57.279 --> 01:58:57.439
Right.

2042
01:58:58.960 --> 01:59:01.640
I forgot to tell her that Friday that I was

2043
01:59:01.680 --> 01:59:04.079
gonna go. So I told her that, you know what

2044
01:59:04.079 --> 01:59:06.319
I'm saying yesterday morning. At first she was like, you know,

2045
01:59:06.359 --> 01:59:07.800
like like you know, like it was just like all

2046
01:59:07.800 --> 01:59:10.119
of a sudden or whatever. But then like you know,

2047
01:59:10.119 --> 01:59:13.079
she seen the pictures and stuff, you know, and she

2048
01:59:13.199 --> 01:59:15.039
was like, all right, all right, I said, And I

2049
01:59:15.079 --> 01:59:16.800
told her, I told her, yo, you know what, if

2050
01:59:16.800 --> 01:59:18.760
you're thinking something, I was like, Yo, it's not that

2051
01:59:18.800 --> 01:59:20.720
because in all honesty, you know what I'm saying, I'm

2052
01:59:20.720 --> 01:59:22.800
in a good place where I'm at. Secondly, I don't

2053
01:59:23.159 --> 01:59:24.960
I don't have the energy, you know what, I'm saying

2054
01:59:24.960 --> 01:59:26.680
to be like living a double life.

2055
01:59:26.680 --> 01:59:28.399
That's crazy. I can't.

2056
01:59:28.520 --> 01:59:31.720
You know what everybody says that.

2057
01:59:30.199 --> 01:59:35.600
No, bro, listen, you know what exactly, you know what,

2058
01:59:35.680 --> 01:59:37.960
not everybody could be Batman, everybody could be there double.

2059
01:59:38.600 --> 01:59:41.439
You know what I'm saying, I just you know what,

2060
01:59:41.680 --> 01:59:43.720
like I don't you know, you know what I'm saying, Like.

2061
01:59:43.720 --> 01:59:46.520
I can't do it, Captain, I can't.

2062
01:59:47.239 --> 01:59:51.319
I can't, man, because because because you know what, just

2063
01:59:51.319 --> 01:59:52.359
like I don't have to said be.

2064
01:59:52.399 --> 01:59:53.800
Like if I didn't want to talk to you, I

2065
01:59:53.800 --> 01:59:55.359
wouldn't be on the phone with you right now.

2066
01:59:55.479 --> 01:59:59.479
That's bs you you no, but but yo, I'm serious

2067
01:59:59.520 --> 02:00:02.039
when I say is man because like because like the

2068
02:00:02.119 --> 02:00:04.479
reason why, the reason why, like you know, like I

2069
02:00:04.520 --> 02:00:07.199
say I don't have the energy for it, is because.

2070
02:00:08.399 --> 02:00:10.000
I'm learning from my past mistakes.

2071
02:00:10.760 --> 02:00:14.239
You know what I'm saying, Like I look back at

2072
02:00:14.560 --> 02:00:16.199
of all the times when I did have the energy

2073
02:00:16.239 --> 02:00:17.760
for it and how it ended. You know what I'm saying,

2074
02:00:17.800 --> 02:00:20.239
And believe me, you know what, you know what I'm saying,

2075
02:00:20.279 --> 02:00:22.359
it never ended. Well, you know what I'm saying, not

2076
02:00:22.439 --> 02:00:23.760
only for me, but for everybody.

2077
02:00:25.640 --> 02:00:28.520
You know what it is. You know what it is.

2078
02:00:28.560 --> 02:00:31.079
I mean like, it's like the definition of a satity

2079
02:00:31.119 --> 02:00:34.479
to keep doing the same thing and hoping for different results,

2080
02:00:34.720 --> 02:00:37.119
you know what I'm saying. And you know what, And

2081
02:00:37.159 --> 02:00:39.520
I always got different results whenever I was doing that,

2082
02:00:39.720 --> 02:00:43.039
but it was always worse than the last time, you know.

2083
02:00:43.720 --> 02:00:45.600
So it's like, say to yourself, when am I going

2084
02:00:45.680 --> 02:00:49.720
to stop this bullshit? It just keeps happening and keep happening.

2085
02:00:50.159 --> 02:00:54.439
Exactly exactly exactly, so it's like you So it's like yell,

2086
02:00:54.520 --> 02:00:54.800
you know what.

2087
02:00:56.359 --> 02:00:57.960
And that's why I'm saying, I'm good where I'm at.

2088
02:00:58.520 --> 02:01:01.600
The question of the night that I'm putting on y'all

2089
02:01:01.600 --> 02:01:02.560
too all right?

2090
02:01:03.279 --> 02:01:03.439
Uh?

2091
02:01:03.520 --> 02:01:05.640
Hum?

2092
02:01:05.840 --> 02:01:08.720
Is cereal really soup? Why or why not?

2093
02:01:10.840 --> 02:01:11.039
No?

2094
02:01:12.039 --> 02:01:12.920
Cereals not soup.

2095
02:01:12.960 --> 02:01:20.960
It's and liquid not always dry cereal different well dry cereal.

2096
02:01:21.079 --> 02:01:22.159
You eat dry cereal.

2097
02:01:22.720 --> 02:01:23.000
Yep.

2098
02:01:23.439 --> 02:01:27.039
And I did my bananas in my rice crispies crunch crunch.

2099
02:01:27.800 --> 02:01:31.039
Oh, so yo, you know what? You know what?

2100
02:01:31.479 --> 02:01:34.239
You know what bananas of rice crisp crispy is always

2101
02:01:34.319 --> 02:01:37.199
like hit like it's like the perfect you know what

2102
02:01:37.199 --> 02:01:37.840
I'm saying.

2103
02:01:38.000 --> 02:01:40.960
What kind of rice crispies? Because I got the frosty.

2104
02:01:40.600 --> 02:01:47.119
Crispies, nougar like that in my body.

2105
02:01:49.399 --> 02:01:51.039
I blew myself a bowl.

2106
02:01:50.840 --> 02:01:53.640
Of rice crispies, take my banana and shove it in

2107
02:01:53.720 --> 02:01:57.920
the rice crispy and eat the end off of it.

2108
02:01:57.960 --> 02:01:59.279
Sound is so therty.

2109
02:01:59.399 --> 02:02:04.960
That's how yo. That sounds so sexual? Yo ho yo?

2110
02:02:05.199 --> 02:02:05.640
How do you?

2111
02:02:06.000 --> 02:02:07.880
How do you turn like breakfast into like you know

2112
02:02:07.880 --> 02:02:10.880
what I'm saying, like one like a sexual for play method.

2113
02:02:13.159 --> 02:02:16.800
It's my gift you you made.

2114
02:02:19.720 --> 02:02:22.600
With that. With that being said, it was an amazing

2115
02:02:22.680 --> 02:02:27.199
show tonight. Was spitting balls like crazy tonight. She did

2116
02:02:27.199 --> 02:02:27.840
a great job.

2117
02:02:29.640 --> 02:02:32.800
That's that's that's the norm though, that's the norm.

2118
02:02:32.880 --> 02:02:34.600
I know that that is the norm. That's why she's

2119
02:02:34.840 --> 02:02:36.039
so loved by everybody.

2120
02:02:36.560 --> 02:02:38.520
For all those men out there, you need to pick

2121
02:02:38.600 --> 02:02:44.479
up your computers and email a sister no cordo.

2122
02:02:48.159 --> 02:02:50.840
With that, with thank you for everybody that came in today.

2123
02:02:50.960 --> 02:02:53.720
Thank you for everyone who stood the whole time. We

2124
02:02:53.800 --> 02:02:57.880
appreciate the things. I will get the information out to everybody.

2125
02:02:58.279 --> 02:03:03.760
I'll post it on the fan page, the emails for

2126
02:03:03.840 --> 02:03:08.760
all the hosts. And we're good, we're good, and and

2127
02:03:08.960 --> 02:03:11.680
thanks for for being here. Man. We appreciate the fans

2128
02:03:11.880 --> 02:03:13.119
and where we got a lot of good ship.

2129
02:03:14.680 --> 02:03:16.319
It was also surprise that we did it on a

2130
02:03:16.359 --> 02:03:16.920
Sunday too.

2131
02:03:17.439 --> 02:03:19.039
Yeah, that's the first Sunday we never did.

2132
02:03:20.239 --> 02:03:25.119
You know what, actually, you know what happened someday. You

2133
02:03:25.159 --> 02:03:27.079
know what. Sundays are pretty good. I ain't gonna lie like.

2134
02:03:27.199 --> 02:03:28.760
You know, except during the football season.

2135
02:03:28.800 --> 02:03:38.520
Let's get it exactly, exactly exactly because you know, because

2136
02:03:38.520 --> 02:03:39.039
we're men.

2137
02:03:41.960 --> 02:03:51.880
If you don't stop, you will get meno polls menstro

2138
02:03:53.359 --> 02:03:54.239
all right, all right.

2139
02:03:54.159 --> 02:03:58.479
With that, with that be remember her peace.

2140
02:04:01.000 --> 02:04:06.920
Anyway, anyway, anyway, with that being said, I've been Cordon.

2141
02:04:07.359 --> 02:04:10.159
That's lad you that look thought, that's dubs of Dawn,

2142
02:04:10.399 --> 02:04:14.840
Simon Phoenix. It was a great night. Thanks for being here,

2143
02:04:15.319 --> 02:04:19.000
and always know it that at some point it's my heart.

2144
02:04:19.640 --> 02:04:23.960
Good night, everybody, Bones and nachos.