Oct. 30, 2025

Halloween Havok 2025 (Recorded LIVE on 10-29-25)

Halloween Havok 2025 (Recorded LIVE on 10-29-25)

This Might Hurt Podcast : Halloween Havok 2025 Episode It’s that time again the crew’s back and chaos is in full swing. Big Corleone leads the madness with TG Love, Dubs Tha Don a.k.a. Simon Phoenix, and Lady G as they tear into the dark side of the...

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This Might Hurt Podcast : Halloween Havok 2025 Episode

It’s that time again the crew’s back and chaos is in full swing. Big Corleone leads the madness with TG Love, Dubs Tha Don a.k.a. Simon Phoenix, and Lady G as they tear into the dark side of the culture, the creeps, and the controversy. No filters, no mercy just raw talk, wild laughs, and Halloween energy turned all the way up.

Brace yourself... This Might Hurt!!


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/this-might-hurt-podcast--3239767/support.

WEBVTT

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Ya yahm.

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Hey, what's up?

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We're live?

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This is this is my HERD podcast coming to you

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live from I don't know wherever you want to say

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we're going live from, you know what I'm saying. Anyway

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you want it. You could say we're in Vegas. You

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can say we're in Jersey, you can say we're in

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New York. Wherever the fuck you want to say, we're live.

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That's where we're live. I'm gonna bring in my lovely host,

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Lady g Docdorughter.

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Hey, Hey, Corney hone, what's up?

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How are you?

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People's I am wonderful as usual.

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As usual.

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There you go, no reason not to be you.

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Giving our candy this weekend?

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No, I am not.

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If you had to give our candy, what kind of

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all right? What kind of candygiver? Would you be? The

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little candy No.

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I'd be.

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I'd be the full size candy bar person. But in

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all the years I have lived in my house, we

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have not ever had one trick or treat. No, really,

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in twenty years, we have never had a tricker treat.

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What's up with your block?

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Well it's a dead end street, you know. Yeah, not

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a lot of kids around here.

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Wow, that's so that's wild one treat.

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Yeah.

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Now, some years that's that's that's that's no, not for nothing,

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But where I live, it's more of a like a

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complex kind of thing. Yeah, And the the trick or

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treaters go to the other side of the town where

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the houses are.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, that's probably the way it is over here. I

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mean even though I live in the house.

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Yeah, they don't. They don't come around here. Because I

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sat outside for like three or four hours last Halloween

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and not one kid came by. I was like throwing

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candy out there. I was like, hey, don't get candy whatever,

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and nobody was like nothing.

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Wow.

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Yeah, and I had all the good stuff too, Ayles,

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So what's up? So so what was I gonna say? Yeah,

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you'll be here soon. She's handling something, I guess. And

49
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so how's how how's everything been? I mean, it's been

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a little while since we've we've done a show, and

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I figured, halloweens and two days why not?

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Now, you know, I can't complain. Life is lifing, that's

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for sure.

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Life is life, and that's a good way to put it.

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Life is life. Yeah, my fantasy football teams suck. I'm

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just I'm disgusted with myself. That's how bad it is.

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I'm so disgusted, like I'm like, I've I've had it.

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I'm like up to here, I'm like, I don't even

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want to deal with it no more. That's how disgusted

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I am. You know what I'm saying. So anyway, so

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now we have we have some we have we have

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an email here, but I'm not going to get into

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it because I need TG to be here because it

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was actually aimed at you and.

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M hmmm, yeah, why.

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I have no idea, but it's it's a doozy. Well

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you read it, Yeah, I read it. It's it's it's

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it's it's crazy.

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I'm sure you have an idea.

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Did I pick any commanders? Actually I have Jayde and

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Daniels and Terry McLaurin. All right, yeah I did, Yeah,

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I did McCall. And then last week Jayde Daniel was

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hurt and McLaurin he scored a touchdown. But that that's

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besides the point. I'm not going to get into that.

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So anyway, anyway, so this is what we're gonna do.

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I have six questions, right, and in these six questions,

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they're broken down into four different categories. Okay, So now,

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so it goes like this, I asked a question, and

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the four categories are dating, marriage, long distance, and break

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up healing. Okay, so the first question is like this,

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how do you know? How do I know if my

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partner is the one?

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Okay, you make them no one?

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All right?

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So now if you are just dating, what are signs

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that show you this relationship has long term potential?

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Well, if the communication seems pretty easy, you know, it

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doesn't seem like it's going to be difficult off the beat,

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They're willing to listen, not just talk.

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Well.

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I also I also think, how about you know how

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much time you spend together?

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And yeah, I mean that's definitely uh something.

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I think, not just time spend together, but what's actually

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being done during that time?

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Yeah?

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And I yeah, quality time and effort, you know, because

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if there's no effort being made, it's like what's the point.

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Right, right? I get it. Yeah, because if you if

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you're looking at the long term, you definitely want to

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you want to look at those factors. Now, marriage, how

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do I know if we're still growing together and not

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a part.

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Well, again, like I say, every time we have a

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show communication if your partner's being transparent and not just honest, right,

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because there is a difference to the difference between transparency

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and honesty. Is transparency is like telling somebody, honey, I'm

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going out with the boys to the casino. Uh, but

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such and such is gonna be there, and he's bringing

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his girl, you know, so she's gonna be there, and

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you know that's that's the transparency. Honesty is I'm going

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to the casino with the boys, So you're being honest

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about where you're going. But transparency is actually telling your

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partner what is who and what is actually happening and

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who's gonna be there. Right, So it's it's it's kind

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of giving them all the information rather than just a

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part of the information. Because you can be honest without

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being transparent, but when you're transparent, it gives a whole

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lot more trust, right, because you're actually giving details that

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I guess technically you really don't have to, but you

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want your partner to know. I have nothing to hide

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from you, right.

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So oh, really quick, I'm Amanda.

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You're welcome, Amanda. We haven't his staff hasn't even gotten

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shirts yet.

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Yeah, it should be spoiled so thank you very much.

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I'm glad you like the shirt. Thanks for being being

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thanks for being a fan of the show. You know,

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we love you, Amanda Enjoy. So I mean, I mean,

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let me say something about that, the transparency honesty thing, right.

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Yeah, So.

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Would it be considered not being honest if you don't

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mention the fact that your boys bringing his.

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No, you're still being honest because you are going to

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the casino or wherever with your boys. But you know

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what I have to say, when you omit information, it

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is still kind of lying because you know that that's

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a detail that would actually make a difference, right.

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Because that's actually saying that, well, she's going and we're

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going with the fellas, but you know, maybe I don't

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want you to go. That's why I'm not saying she's going.

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But again, but not letting, not letting your other half

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know that there's going to be a female there, whether

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she's yours or not, you know, can can be seen

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as a little suspect, you know, because because then you're

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asking yourself, did you not tell me because you didn't

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want me to go, or did you not tell me

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because you didn't want me to know that she was.

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There, right right, right right.

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I get it.

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Intention is everything.

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I get it.

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And when you're really having a good relationship, good communication,

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what's the reason not to inform her of who's going

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to be present?

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Okay, that that makes that makes that makes a lot

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of sense. That makes a lot of sense because because

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what if what if you don't get along with this

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chick or this chick is like you know, an ass

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and you don't you don't you don't you know she

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likes to bunchie all the time and ship. You know

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what I'm saying, Like you don't know, you really don't know.

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So yeah, but you know.

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For me, my question is if you're not taking me,

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but somebody else is going to have air lady there,

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what is actually happening?

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Let's see, let's see. Maybe I'm going to spend more

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money and you want me to.

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Yeah, but that should have nothing to do with somebody

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else's lady being there. If you have a good relationship,

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you already know that about each other. Mm hmmm, Because

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if you're gonna go spend money behind my back, that's

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not a good relationship anyway, because you felt like you

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needed to hide that from me, right, you know what,

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I am right there with you with the whole transparency

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and all of that. Yes, consistency, I'm telling you I've

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been on some dates lately and inconsistency.

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Oh, it's is the season.

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Well I'm done, and you know what I'm done. I'm done.

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I will be the old maid for the rest of

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my life. Because people don't really want honesty, loyalty and love.

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They want sex, lying, you know, and and they talk

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about wanting peace. No, they just want somebody who's not

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going to hold them accountable. That's that's what piece is.

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What what happened? You can share or I.

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Mean I don't care, you know, because you guys know

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I'm an open book man. I have nothing to hide. So,

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you know, you meet on these these dating sites, things

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start to go really really well, and then just out

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of nowhere, they go downhill. So one dude, you know,

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we have video chat and whatnot, and I'm telling you,

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the conversation couldn't have been more perfect. It's like everything

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was fitting. And then you know he's even like, you know,

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I see that you're a feisty one. I kind of

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like that, and I'm like, okay, He's like, you know

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what you want? You know, you're confident in yourself. And

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you know, when we talk about that whole feminine masculine

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energy thing, I'm definitely somebody that once I know it's

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safe for me to be feminine. Oh, I have no

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problem you know, submitting to my other half, you know,

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because I'm a godly woman, So I have no problem

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submitting in a godly way. So anyway, the dudes talking

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about how wonderful I am, how smart I am, you know,

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because I'm a double whammy. I'm book smart and street smart.

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Hey.

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Yeah, And then out of nowhere, he takes me to

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the bathroom with him and proceeds, you know, to urinea.

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And I'm just thinking to myself, what in the world,

209
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Why I don't know him from Adam? Why is he

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taking me in the bathroom? And why can I hear

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him peeing?

212
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Wait? Now, hold on before you continue. Did he go

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into a stall or was it one of those?

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It was his house in the bathroom.

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He took you to the bathroom in his house. Yes,

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so he guided you to his bathroom.

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No, we were on video chat.

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Oh see. Now I was beginning to say to myself,

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why the fuck is this guy taking her into his bathroom? Okay,

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I get it now.

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No, no, no.

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He took me on the telephone, all right, the bathroom

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with him, and you know, just sets me on a

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counter while he's talking and whatnot.

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Hold on one second, one second, I'm sorry. Let me

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bring in TG love your live girl.

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Hello.

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All right, lady G was on something. She's on something

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right now. Okay.

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So I'm sitting on the counter, you know, or the

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shelf whatever, and I don't say anything. I'm like, all right, well,

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at least he's not showing me nothing. That's great, you know,

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because then I just have to hang up, you know.

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And he spends a whole weekend telling me what a

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wonderful person I am and all that good stuff. But

236
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then I guess when he realized that I could hear

237
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and see everything he was doing, He's like, oh, I

238
00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:36.399
am so sorry. I have got to be more respectful

239
00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:40.799
than that. I'm like, okay, I could dig it. And

240
00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:46.799
then talking maybe another twenty minutes, he goes back into

241
00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:52.720
the bathroom takes me with him again and again, not

242
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:55.480
because it bothered me, but because of what he said.

243
00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:58.639
I said, didn't you just tell me that you wanted

244
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to be more respectful?

245
00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:02.120
You know?

246
00:17:02.919 --> 00:17:05.400
And that you you know that you didn't feel that

247
00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:08.440
that was respectful or whatever. And then he just has

248
00:17:08.519 --> 00:17:11.440
this deer in the headlights look on his face and

249
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:15.920
he's like, I'm sorry, And it was almost like automatic.

250
00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:19.000
I don't even know what prompted me to do it,

251
00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:22.119
but just as quickly as he said it, I just

252
00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:25.920
looked at him and very nicely I said, He's like,

253
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:29.799
I'm sorry. I was like, no, you're not, because if

254
00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:34.680
you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it. Homeboy either

255
00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:37.599
got embarrassed. I don't know what, but he hung up

256
00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:45.319
that phone and blocked me. What nothing, nothing, nothing, And

257
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:47.880
I'm like, that's funny because I gave him a whole

258
00:17:47.880 --> 00:17:50.480
lot more than that, Like I was busting on him,

259
00:17:50.599 --> 00:17:54.759
like I was really throwing stuff at him. But it's

260
00:17:54.799 --> 00:18:02.079
when I like held him accountable for his own words

261
00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:08.279
that he he yeah, yeah, I don't know. And then

262
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he blocked me. I was like, that's all right, you

263
00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:15.359
saved me from a lifetime.

264
00:18:15.039 --> 00:18:20.240
Of whatever whatever exactly. Yeah.

265
00:18:20.359 --> 00:18:28.000
I'm like, yeah, I'm not even upset, bro damn. Yeah.

266
00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:29.759
Yeah, but that's that is kind of rude. Though I

267
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:32.279
wouldn't I wouldn't take my phone to the bathroom to p.

268
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:38.440
Yeah, that's like we really really know each other. That's different.

269
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But like if we're.

270
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Each other second, like we're getting to know each other.

271
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Like yeah, you know, like I was little bit, well,

272
00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:56.440
I have a new microphone thing, so it's okay, it's

273
00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:59.200
sor ry or it might be hitting my shirt and

274
00:18:59.240 --> 00:19:01.359
that's what you're here, all right, now.

275
00:19:01.319 --> 00:19:03.720
That's it just sounds a little that's all right. Though

276
00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:05.599
you sound you sound. We hear you clearly, it's just

277
00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:10.000
that it sounds a little so off. That's all right. Yeah,

278
00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:14.559
that's that's that's wild. Like would then and then he

279
00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:15.880
blocked and.

280
00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:19.480
He blocks you like and he blocked me. I'm like, wow,

281
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:22.960
I was like, you talk mad junk dude.

282
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:25.160
Wow.

283
00:19:26.680 --> 00:19:29.240
Yeah, they're all good until you hold them accountable for

284
00:19:29.319 --> 00:19:33.079
their own behavior. Wow. Like that's all right because I

285
00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:36.240
don't want nobody who can't own their stuff anyway.

286
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:41.119
Yeah, all right. So now that the third part of

287
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:44.160
this is long distance, how can I tell that this

288
00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:47.680
relationship can last despite the distance.

289
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:50.759
Emotional?

290
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:53.839
So I got I got a bunch of questions and

291
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:58.960
under each question there's four categories, dating, marriage, long distance,

292
00:19:59.039 --> 00:20:03.119
and break up healing. So the question was how do

293
00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:05.160
I know if my partner is the one and we're

294
00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:07.720
up to long distance, how can I tell if this

295
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:10.400
relationship can last despite the distance.

296
00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:14.880
Well, again, that you're both willing to put in the

297
00:20:14.920 --> 00:20:21.160
work emotional intelligence, so being able to hear and be heard,

298
00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:26.960
you know, not being one sided. You know, both people

299
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:30.359
are gonna have to make some sacrifices and believe it

300
00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:31.799
or not, self control.

301
00:20:33.079 --> 00:20:35.160
Self controls are big ones, yep.

302
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.759
Because if you can't control yourself when we're not together,

303
00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:45.240
I'm going hard time trust than you could do it

304
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:47.720
when we are right.

305
00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:50.400
You know what I'm gonna.

306
00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:54.480
I was just gonna say, like, it really depends how

307
00:20:54.559 --> 00:20:59.559
invested you are in the relationship and what the plans are. Like,

308
00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:03.680
is the plan that you're together in the future or

309
00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:06.839
are we just going to try this long distance? That

310
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:13.079
is a different scenario, I feel. But if you already

311
00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:18.359
know someone is your person, then you're going to fight

312
00:21:19.079 --> 00:21:22.440
to be with that person. So if there's a question

313
00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:26.000
of may this person be the one only you can

314
00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:31.599
answer that obviously, But it really depends how invested and

315
00:21:31.640 --> 00:21:35.960
how much you love this person and are willing to

316
00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:38.000
go Because long distance is horrible.

317
00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:42.440
It is it really is. It's tough, man. You definitely

318
00:21:42.519 --> 00:21:46.680
have to be all in because even I mean with

319
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:50.519
the dating stuff, I go thirty miles if you're more

320
00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:54.559
than an hour from me, because there are gonna be

321
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:56.920
days I'm going to need a hug or a kiss

322
00:21:57.039 --> 00:22:01.799
or now just to see you because I've just had

323
00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:04.599
a rough day. And so that's kind of hard when

324
00:22:05.880 --> 00:22:08.759
when you live two three hours away.

325
00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:13.799
Yeah, that is that is a little tough.

326
00:22:14.359 --> 00:22:18.640
Listen, Sometimes forty five minutes just too far on some days,

327
00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:19.400
you know.

328
00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:24.359
So So before before we continue with these questions, right,

329
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:26.480
I'm gonna I'm going to get into that email that

330
00:22:27.079 --> 00:22:30.799
was the definitely dedicated, not dedicated, but it was. It

331
00:22:30.839 --> 00:22:32.960
was aimed at the women on the show.

332
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:36.559
That what makes you say that?

333
00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:43.279
Because she says it, it.

334
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:47.240
Didn't make that clear. I'm sorry, all right, all right.

335
00:22:47.240 --> 00:22:49.079
So check this shit out.

336
00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:49.480
Hi.

337
00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:53.519
My name is Maggie. I love the show. You guys

338
00:22:54.279 --> 00:22:57.759
are one of the best. I love everything about this show.

339
00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:02.200
Nothing against the guys. I love you Coleon and mister Dobbs.

340
00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:09.079
But the girl's rock here. Yes, here's my dilemma. I've

341
00:23:09.079 --> 00:23:14.759
been with my husband now for ten years and as

342
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:19.119
far as I know he's never cheated. He has an

343
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:25.400
extremely high sex drive, and I don't. Probably sometimes sometimes

344
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:30.400
it becomes an issue. One day we had sex early

345
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:34.720
in the morning before work. It was great, then when

346
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:38.480
we got home we did it again. Now we go

347
00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:41.759
to bed around midnight and he wants to do it again.

348
00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:47.039
I was like, dude, we already she checked the shit out.

349
00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:51.720
She said, dude, we already fucked twice today. His response

350
00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:57.720
was and I told him, I'm exhausted. Do you believe

351
00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:02.160
this motherfucker? Went on to masterbate right next to me.

352
00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:06.079
Okay, all right, that's what he's gonna.

353
00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:09.599
Have to do right next to me. He finishes, goes

354
00:24:09.640 --> 00:24:13.640
to the bathroom, washes up, and comes back to bed.

355
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:18.319
I said, wow, really you really needed to do that.

356
00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:25.519
This fucker said, it keeps me from cheating on you. Oh,

357
00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:31.799
that all right, it keeps you cheating on you. I

358
00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:34.680
got up and said, what the fuck does that mean?

359
00:24:35.240 --> 00:24:38.119
He says good night, rolled over and went to sleep.

360
00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:42.839
That was three days ago, and now we have yet

361
00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:46.839
to discuss. To discuss it, but what the fuck? Now?

362
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:50.079
I'm beginning to wonder, as he cheated, I don't know

363
00:24:50.119 --> 00:24:53.400
what to think now? How do I even approach him

364
00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:56.400
about this? Help me. I need some advice and words

365
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.720
of wisdom. Love you guys, Maggie.

366
00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:06.519
Oh well, hey, we go listen. He was pissy, didn't

367
00:25:06.519 --> 00:25:09.359
get what he wanted, so he wanted to piss you off.

368
00:25:09.559 --> 00:25:15.920
That's what that was. So that little big too, he

369
00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:19.799
did exactly what he wanted to do. He digged it hurt.

370
00:25:20.519 --> 00:25:24.759
And now you're feeling is secure. I mean, I'm not

371
00:25:24.759 --> 00:25:27.720
saying it's right, but that's what has come out of this.

372
00:25:28.839 --> 00:25:31.519
And then you're questioning things. I don't think you need

373
00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:34.000
to question things. I think your husband does have a

374
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:37.319
high sex drive, and if you don't want to give

375
00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:39.400
it to him the third time, you shouldn't have to.

376
00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:43.319
And if he needs to jerk off to go to bed,

377
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:46.400
then let him. And I wouldn't be offended by that

378
00:25:46.599 --> 00:25:48.400
because it is what it is.

379
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:52.119
Because yeah, because clearly you don't want to or you can't.

380
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:56.160
And right, women are built so much differently than guys.

381
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:59.960
I mean, I mean, it depends. It depends. Women are different.

382
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:03.079
It also depends on the hormones and all that other stuff. Now,

383
00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:05.920
her sex drive might not be high because she has

384
00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:11.440
little testosterone with her hormones, so that's gonna play. It

385
00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:14.640
also depends how old is she is she im paired menopause,

386
00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:17.400
is she in menopause, because that's also going to change

387
00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:23.880
how much you're gonna want. Are you on certain medications,

388
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:28.759
especially for depression, anxiety and things like that, those meds

389
00:26:28.839 --> 00:26:34.160
also side effects tend to lower sex drive. So it's

390
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:38.440
hard because you want to please the person you're with

391
00:26:38.759 --> 00:26:43.759
and you want to enjoy this with them, but it's

392
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:46.920
not your full either that you don't have the sex

393
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:50.839
drive that he has. Now. Seriously, though she gave it

394
00:26:50.839 --> 00:26:53.480
to him twice, Like I was shocked by that one.

395
00:26:53.480 --> 00:26:56.599
I was like, okay, girl, get it. But yeah, so

396
00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:58.920
the third time, like I would have been in. But

397
00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:01.680
that's for me. I'm very different. I have a very

398
00:27:01.720 --> 00:27:03.880
high sex drive, so I think I would be with

399
00:27:04.039 --> 00:27:09.039
him on it. But if you're not, Like, there needs

400
00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:12.240
to be a level of respect there, and it's like, hey,

401
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:16.119
you can't if I'm not going to give it to

402
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:18.039
you a third time, but you need to jerk it

403
00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:20.920
off whatever, then so be it. Maybe you can help

404
00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:23.920
him jerk off, maybe you can touch him while he's

405
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:27.119
jerking off. It doesn't have to be like such a

406
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:34.039
negative thing, Like you already told us the problem. You're

407
00:27:34.079 --> 00:27:37.720
not going to be able to fix it because you

408
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:41.200
can't change your sex drive. Like that's not it's going

409
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:46.359
to happen. So take it to that into account, I guess,

410
00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:51.640
and try and figure it out. But I mean, this

411
00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:53.680
is why I think too, it's important for people to

412
00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:57.240
date because I feel like, even if you're married, you

413
00:27:57.240 --> 00:28:00.000
should continue to go out on dates and do things

414
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:04.039
and have romantic times together because that can also change

415
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:06.960
someone's sex strive and the way they're feeling and things

416
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:11.480
like that, because women are very emotional creatures, like our

417
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:16.160
horny nest level really depends on that. Like you could

418
00:28:16.200 --> 00:28:19.960
totally like be in your head having sex and not

419
00:28:20.039 --> 00:28:23.759
really enjoy yourself because you're in your head about something

420
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:29.279
or whatever. So we you know, men need to understand that,

421
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:33.000
Like it's not so much that like, oh my dick

422
00:28:33.079 --> 00:28:34.839
is harder now I'm going to go. You know, I

423
00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:37.839
need to take care of this for us. It's not

424
00:28:38.119 --> 00:28:43.319
necessarily like that, So that has to be taken into account.

425
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:49.039
Now she thinks that he's cheating, No, I don't think so.

426
00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:52.640
I don't think he's given her a reason to just

427
00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:55.480
it was a slight remark back to trigger her and

428
00:28:55.519 --> 00:28:57.920
get her upset because he didn't get what he wanted.

429
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:03.240
He was having a tande get. Yeah, he was having

430
00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:06.480
a tandrum and he decided, well, if I don't do that,

431
00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:08.880
you know, like I could already see it in Deb's

432
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:15.519
voice coming out, so it's like, don't be mad about that. Also,

433
00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:18.359
like women who get upset about that their man is

434
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:24.240
masturbating the shower, somebody was why, like that relieves stress

435
00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:27.200
and if that's what you need to do, like, maybe

436
00:29:27.359 --> 00:29:30.200
you should also do that in the shower. Get yourself

437
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:32.519
a waterproof toy and go at it while you're in

438
00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:36.559
there so you can understand why it's enjoyable because it's

439
00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:41.640
okay to come. That doesn't mean I think I think.

440
00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:43.559
A lot of a lot of women though, in that

441
00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:49.240
are in marriages and relationships see that as as a

442
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:53.039
way of saying, well, I'm not good enough to fuck,

443
00:29:53.079 --> 00:29:56.519
but you can go jerk off and around the bathroom.

444
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.960
Yeah, but they shouldn't take that personally. But some someone

445
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:03.079
to do that shouldn't. Yes, but we're saying you should

446
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:06.440
not take that personally. That should not be something that

447
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:11.000
you're taking like I'm not good enough. No, like doing that.

448
00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:12.079
You don't want to dance.

449
00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:13.480
Something after you?

450
00:30:13.559 --> 00:30:18.640
Maybe right now, right right? If it's constantly without you

451
00:30:19.079 --> 00:30:22.640
and not on you, yeah, that's different.

452
00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:26.319
But if you if it's because I can't I'm not

453
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.119
willing or able to provide that. You know, I also

454
00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:32.599
have to understand that if I can't provide that, that

455
00:30:32.759 --> 00:30:36.519
he has to relieve himself somehow somewhere.

456
00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:38.000
Uh.

457
00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:43.519
And you know what, absolutely right, I'm afraid to experiment.

458
00:30:44.119 --> 00:30:50.319
So as a marriage and family therapist. Uh, there's this book, uh,

459
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:55.119
David Snarch, and it talks about wall socket sex and

460
00:30:55.160 --> 00:30:55.920
the thing is.

461
00:30:59.079 --> 00:31:00.799
Let or or I'm.

462
00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:02.480
Gona let her cook, I'm let her cook, go ahead,

463
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:04.440
and so the hot.

464
00:31:04.359 --> 00:31:08.839
The whole idea is about marriages and relationships. Right, So,

465
00:31:10.039 --> 00:31:14.599
our significant other is the one person that we should

466
00:31:14.680 --> 00:31:18.200
feel safe and be able to tell our fantasies to

467
00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:23.599
experiment with because they are your intimate partner, they are

468
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:27.640
your person. And what is happening is we're afraid to

469
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:32.039
express to one another or wants, our needs, our fantasies

470
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:36.319
for fear that they may judge us. However, that's the

471
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:40.200
person that's supposed to be communicating with you, you know,

472
00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:43.039
and you just don't know. Maybe they want to do

473
00:31:43.119 --> 00:31:45.440
the same thing and are just worried that you might,

474
00:31:46.119 --> 00:31:49.000
you know, reject them, because everybody is afraid of rejection.

475
00:31:50.519 --> 00:31:54.279
But if you don't try, you don't know. People are

476
00:31:54.359 --> 00:31:58.880
not mind readers. And again, you can have a wonderfully

477
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:07.519
healthy sexual relationship and for years just by communicating. And

478
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:10.440
so it talks about this concept of wall socket sex

479
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:14.839
where you know, it's so invigorating, so exhilarating.

480
00:32:15.319 --> 00:32:15.480
That.

481
00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:23.599
Gosh, but that's not what you're doing, corleone. You know,

482
00:32:23.720 --> 00:32:28.000
it's it's re reconnecting on a deeper level, not just

483
00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:32.319
with your body, but with your wance, your need, your fantasies,

484
00:32:32.519 --> 00:32:37.480
and with the one person that you should want and

485
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:40.279
want you back, you know.

486
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:46.839
So I agree. I think that a lot of this

487
00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:54.519
comes from like what we saw marriages. Marriages were like, oh,

488
00:32:54.599 --> 00:32:57.799
you saw your person, you have a family, there, there's

489
00:32:57.839 --> 00:33:03.680
a partnership, he provides blah, right, And I feel like

490
00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:06.599
a lot of people went into marriage for that purple

491
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:12.079
and it wasn't so much about that partner. That partner

492
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:16.440
should be your best friend. That's that's the whole thing.

493
00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:20.680
Because you're doing this life together, so why wouldn't you

494
00:33:20.759 --> 00:33:23.720
want your best friend there by your side and be

495
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:26.759
able to tell them what it is that you want.

496
00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:30.960
And I will be honest, like I have encountered men

497
00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:34.640
who cheat on their wives or girlfriends, and a lot

498
00:33:34.680 --> 00:33:37.000
of the times they say it's because they can't do

499
00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:39.839
that with their girlfriend and not even anything crazy. The

500
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:44.079
point is it's like that's weird, Like especially a guy

501
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:46.920
with a girlfriend. I'm like, that's so weird, Like why

502
00:33:47.519 --> 00:33:49.839
why can't you tell your girl like this is what

503
00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:50.400
you want?

504
00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:53.720
Oh, well, they can't tell me because they're not getting

505
00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:55.160
it right.

506
00:33:56.640 --> 00:34:02.039
But they can't have it. It's so it's there's just

507
00:34:02.200 --> 00:34:06.720
so much lack of communication and relationship. Well like that

508
00:34:07.319 --> 00:34:14.719
getting to know you type sh like you know, like if.

509
00:34:14.519 --> 00:34:17.760
Like a dude, a dude wanted to paint his lady's

510
00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:21.880
toenails and massage her feet and make her feel pretty

511
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:25.760
and paint her her nails and take her out to

512
00:34:25.800 --> 00:34:28.400
dinner and show her nails out and know, my man

513
00:34:28.440 --> 00:34:29.840
did my nails. You know what I'm saying, Like, it's

514
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:30.920
nothing wrong with that ship.

515
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:34.000
No, there isn't, no, but you know it works for

516
00:34:34.079 --> 00:34:38.519
you guys. Works for you, guys, I want I want

517
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:40.519
to say that everybody else.

518
00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:45.000
I'm not a fucking nail tech, but I'm pretty sure

519
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:46.519
I can get it in the fucking lines, you know

520
00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:46.960
what I mean.

521
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:50.639
Like, I'm pretty sure that's a sweet, romantic gesture. It

522
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.039
would be different if you were painting her nails because

523
00:34:53.039 --> 00:34:55.400
it got to horny and you wanted to stuck on

524
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.760
her toes and dr off or something. Now this becomes

525
00:34:57.800 --> 00:35:02.639
a fetish, Okay. So there's a difference between doing nice

526
00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:06.119
things for someone and having a fetish or cake. So

527
00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:12.360
you know what I'm saying. So painting nails or foot massages,

528
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:16.440
hand rubs, backrubs, all that stuff, like, that's nice. We

529
00:35:16.519 --> 00:35:21.639
need human touch and we need that reciprocated too. It's not.

530
00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:25.360
It shouldn't just be one sided either, Like we both

531
00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:27.440
need this. We need to touch sometimes, we need to

532
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:30.239
cuddle in bed, sometimes we need to kiss and hugs

533
00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:36.639
like these interactions. That's the intimacy. That's the real good stuff,

534
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:42.280
Not the sexual intimacy, but the can I be held

535
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:45.079
by you and feel safe? Can I just look in

536
00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:49.000
your eyes and just feel something like to be That's

537
00:35:49.159 --> 00:35:50.800
huge to be able to do that.

538
00:35:51.320 --> 00:35:53.920
You know what for a lot of people, like people

539
00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:57.880
who have struggled with sexual abuse and all those things,

540
00:35:58.679 --> 00:36:03.360
I don't think guys real lies that sometimes that is

541
00:36:03.400 --> 00:36:08.519
the thing that turns someone on just being looked at,

542
00:36:09.119 --> 00:36:15.239
you know, like not even being touched, you know, because

543
00:36:15.239 --> 00:36:18.199
when some people once you touch them, that's it, you know,

544
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:23.360
I love it. Yeah, they actually just turn off.

545
00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:27.599
But but that's knowing your partner too, And and if

546
00:36:27.639 --> 00:36:31.960
you know them deeply, you would you would understand like

547
00:36:32.039 --> 00:36:35.559
that part that thing that triggers. You would know your

548
00:36:35.599 --> 00:36:38.440
partner's triggers and you would need to stay away from

549
00:36:38.480 --> 00:36:41.840
those triggers until they can work on it or whatever.

550
00:36:42.519 --> 00:36:45.719
But and that's the other thing, like supporting your partner,

551
00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:48.960
Like if someone is dealing with it like that, they

552
00:36:49.039 --> 00:36:54.280
really should be getting counselors and working on that as well.

553
00:36:54.480 --> 00:37:01.079
Like h yeah, so so what if we talk about abuse, right?

554
00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:07.639
What if what if it's the dude that was sexually.

555
00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:10.320
Abused and that happened a lot?

556
00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:12.559
Yeah, Like how do you.

557
00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:17.760
Have men don't share? That's the same takes really done.

558
00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:20.519
It takes a lot, I feel for men to share

559
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:24.679
that because of the stigma around that and the fact

560
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:28.639
that for years we've told men to just suck it

561
00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:34.039
up and be quiet and man up, and it's happened

562
00:37:34.119 --> 00:37:36.440
a lot and a lot of times it's a father

563
00:37:36.559 --> 00:37:44.159
figure that does this to his child. And what I've

564
00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:47.360
noticed is like you could kind of tell when a

565
00:37:47.400 --> 00:37:50.440
person is triggered. They may be like I'm not home,

566
00:37:50.679 --> 00:37:53.000
I'm not a homo, or something like that, you know

567
00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:58.360
what I'm saying, Like there are like I've seen it.

568
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:00.960
I know a few people who have who's admitted to me,

569
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:06.400
and like I can tell there's also a lot of

570
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:10.719
anger there. But this is we're talking about. This is

571
00:38:10.760 --> 00:38:13.039
why I'm saying it is so important to get counseling

572
00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:18.159
for both. People need to talk about this. They need

573
00:38:18.199 --> 00:38:21.480
to get this off their chests. They need to like,

574
00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:26.280
you know, sometimes you just need a therapist to tell

575
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:28.960
you that you're right for feeling the way.

576
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:32.400
You do and it's not your fault.

577
00:38:31.719 --> 00:38:34.320
And that it isn't your fault. Sometimes you really need

578
00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:37.920
to hear that from someone who is removed. It can't

579
00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:42.960
be like a family member or a game, right, because

580
00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:48.280
then then it's real. You know, Like when I when

581
00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:50.880
I was in therapy and I had my therapist say

582
00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:53.239
to me, your mom was wrong for what she did

583
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:58.119
and whatever she said after that, that was all I

584
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:05.199
needed was to get that acknowledgment and be like, holy shit, yeah,

585
00:39:05.800 --> 00:39:08.719
so I am right for feeling the way I do

586
00:39:09.239 --> 00:39:15.119
or whatever, you know, like that helped me. So this

587
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:18.039
is why I think it's important for people to talk

588
00:39:18.079 --> 00:39:21.400
to someone and share your stories and you know, get

589
00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:25.559
feedback from people, because we can be so blind in

590
00:39:25.639 --> 00:39:28.920
things too and not really see things for what they are.

591
00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:35.039
So it's just good to have that biased opinion that

592
00:39:35.119 --> 00:39:39.079
comes in and is able to listen and be like, well,

593
00:39:39.199 --> 00:39:41.679
this is what I'm hearing you say. But that's really

594
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:44.119
all it is, right is they're feeding it back to you.

595
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:47.199
And then you're like then you could take that and

596
00:39:47.239 --> 00:39:49.480
be like wait, no, that's not what I mean or whatever,

597
00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:52.760
and you find your words and you find your way.

598
00:39:53.679 --> 00:39:58.000
But that comes to work, you know. And that's the thing,

599
00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:06.400
Like anyone who struggles, like with anything to be eating disorder, anxiety, depressons,

600
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:11.719
mental illnesses under the whole umbrella. If you're not getting

601
00:40:11.719 --> 00:40:14.599
the care and support that you need, you're only going

602
00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:18.239
to suffer more. Like it's not just going to go away.

603
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:22.280
This whole bullshit of put the past behind you. There's

604
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:24.360
a way to put the pass behind you, but it's

605
00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:29.239
not to ignore it completely or pretend it didn't happen.

606
00:40:30.039 --> 00:40:33.760
That doesn't work. You know, we hold on to a

607
00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:37.760
lot of shit in our bodies, and I can tell

608
00:40:37.800 --> 00:40:41.280
when people, people who have a lot of anger issues,

609
00:40:42.519 --> 00:40:45.239
a lot of that is shit from the past. It's

610
00:40:45.280 --> 00:40:48.280
from growing up. It's the way they were treated as children,

611
00:40:48.639 --> 00:40:55.199
and they now are as adults angry at other people.

612
00:40:55.639 --> 00:40:58.440
But they're taking their anger on you because you're there,

613
00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:02.719
You're in front of them, and it's not right. But

614
00:41:02.760 --> 00:41:06.519
that the whole thing. Hurt people, hurt people, and that's

615
00:41:06.599 --> 00:41:09.679
why because they don't know where to place the anger.

616
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:14.760
Just place anger, right, that's what it is. And I

617
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:17.239
feel like we're seeing that more and more. Not to

618
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:20.000
get political, but this is why shit is getting revved

619
00:41:20.079 --> 00:41:24.320
up the way it is because people are hurt. People

620
00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:28.280
are angry, and so their first thing to do is

621
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:31.159
to yell and be angry and screen at other people

622
00:41:31.719 --> 00:41:33.800
because they're not feeling heard.

623
00:41:34.159 --> 00:41:40.000
So my next question is this, though, people who have

624
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:44.199
been women men or women that have been sexually abused,

625
00:41:45.239 --> 00:41:56.280
I see two things happen either they become resentful towards sex,

626
00:41:56.639 --> 00:42:01.159
or they get hyper yeah, or they get like really.

627
00:42:03.400 --> 00:42:09.599
Avoid Yeah. Think about it, like with anything, even as

628
00:42:09.599 --> 00:42:13.440
a sexual assault victim, it could be the same exact thing.

629
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:19.599
So again that's really all. How things are eternalized, how

630
00:42:19.639 --> 00:42:26.079
you know, depends on treatment support, right, So the messages you.

631
00:42:26.079 --> 00:42:28.960
Receive from the people that are supposed to support you,

632
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:33.639
because you know, especially in the in the male population,

633
00:42:33.960 --> 00:42:37.840
a lot of minorities. You know, the whole thing is

634
00:42:37.880 --> 00:42:42.159
that no matter what happens to you, you're always supposed

635
00:42:42.199 --> 00:42:45.519
to act like everything is okay, and you're supposed to

636
00:42:45.639 --> 00:42:50.360
again suck it up, buttercup and keep it moving. And

637
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:53.280
then people tell you that you shouldn't feel a certain

638
00:42:53.360 --> 00:42:56.239
way because maybe it's been years and years and years ago.

639
00:42:56.440 --> 00:43:01.119
That's incorrect. People have every right to feel the way

640
00:43:01.159 --> 00:43:04.159
that they feel, and based on their experiences is how

641
00:43:04.199 --> 00:43:07.440
they determine what they will and will not accept in

642
00:43:07.480 --> 00:43:12.719
their relationships. And you know what happens is, I'm going

643
00:43:12.760 --> 00:43:16.280
to use men only because I'm a female. You know,

644
00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:20.719
men start to say, well, you're punishing me for something

645
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:24.480
somebody else did to you. Well, no, I'm telling you

646
00:43:24.559 --> 00:43:28.039
that something was done that I don't like. So I'm

647
00:43:28.039 --> 00:43:32.400
not punishing you because I don't like it, you know.

648
00:43:32.559 --> 00:43:34.440
So if I don't like something, I'm not gonna let

649
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:36.519
anybody do it. It doesn't matter who did it.

650
00:43:37.079 --> 00:43:41.199
And the reality, you're punishing yourself because you're not allowing

651
00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:46.760
yourself moments, you're not allowing yourself intimacy or any of

652
00:43:46.800 --> 00:43:51.440
those things because of the way you feel. And and

653
00:43:51.480 --> 00:43:53.760
that's when I say, that's what you need to see

654
00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:59.320
help because like, if you want a long lasting relationship

655
00:43:59.360 --> 00:44:02.400
with somebody, even you know, you need to be not

656
00:44:02.440 --> 00:44:05.599
only honest with them, but with yourself. Like there has

657
00:44:05.639 --> 00:44:10.199
to be a level of self awareness here, and you understanding.

658
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:16.719
You know, we all bring problems to a relationship. You

659
00:44:16.800 --> 00:44:22.079
need to recognize what you're bringing to the relationship. Your baggage, Right,

660
00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:23.320
we all have baggage.

661
00:44:23.400 --> 00:44:24.320
Everybody has it.

662
00:44:24.719 --> 00:44:27.880
But how what are you doing to unpack your baggage?

663
00:44:28.119 --> 00:44:30.519
Because you can't leave your baggage in a bag, You

664
00:44:30.599 --> 00:44:33.079
can't leave it in the suitcase, locked up and in

665
00:44:33.119 --> 00:44:36.159
the corner of the room. No, you never have.

666
00:44:36.360 --> 00:44:42.000
Effective, effective coping mechanisms and systems in place. You can

667
00:44:42.039 --> 00:44:46.159
totally navigate in a healthy way and still have your baggage.

668
00:44:46.480 --> 00:44:48.159
And I don't think it's something that you can do

669
00:44:48.239 --> 00:44:50.320
on your own. I really do think that you need

670
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:52.840
support and you do not need do not use chat

671
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:55.519
dutt please, for the love of god. Oh my gosh,

672
00:44:56.239 --> 00:44:59.000
I can't believe I have to even say that. But

673
00:44:59.320 --> 00:45:01.280
I want to read the comments because I missed.

674
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:12.119
Yeah, she's gone. She didn't pay her WiFi bill.

675
00:45:12.760 --> 00:45:16.559
Oh boy, Well, I noticed that we have a lot

676
00:45:16.599 --> 00:45:19.679
of ladies that comment, but you know, we don't really

677
00:45:19.719 --> 00:45:22.199
have gentlemen that comment a whole lot.

678
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:32.960
What happened the wrong button? That by accident? Oh okay,

679
00:45:33.719 --> 00:45:36.519
I'm gonna say I hit the wrong button, like I

680
00:45:36.559 --> 00:45:41.440
went back, like out of the thing instead of whatever.

681
00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:47.480
Here here's my next question though, in relation to this,

682
00:45:48.599 --> 00:45:59.000
what makes a person become promiscuous after an incident like that?

683
00:46:00.440 --> 00:46:02.000
That's not a fair question to ask.

684
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:13.719
I can't oh it is, still can't.

685
00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:14.920
Say it's connected.

686
00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:19.760
He did? Do you hear me?

687
00:46:20.679 --> 00:46:20.880
Yeah?

688
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:21.360
I hear you.

689
00:46:21.400 --> 00:46:23.920
Fine, Yeah, because I can hear her, I don't understand

690
00:46:25.119 --> 00:46:26.320
you back out and come back?

691
00:46:28.199 --> 00:46:32.199
Great work to just the right way. I don't know

692
00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:35.880
the right way. Oh, Like, how do I even get

693
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:39.840
out of here, right.

694
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:41.239
Yeah, because I heard.

695
00:46:42.320 --> 00:46:42.559
Yeah.

696
00:46:42.639 --> 00:46:48.519
The thing about the promiscuity, it's not any one thing one,

697
00:46:48.639 --> 00:46:53.599
it's the severity of what has happened. It is how

698
00:46:53.639 --> 00:46:58.719
they've been taught to cope, you know, their own environments.

699
00:46:59.079 --> 00:47:04.599
Ola, I hear you.

700
00:47:04.039 --> 00:47:10.519
She's bad, you know so yeah, so it it's all

701
00:47:10.559 --> 00:47:16.360
dependent on the person, on their you know, defense mechanisms,

702
00:47:16.400 --> 00:47:19.280
on what they've been shown, what they've been taught, what

703
00:47:19.320 --> 00:47:24.760
they believe. That's what determines the you know, the the attachment,

704
00:47:24.920 --> 00:47:33.079
the avoidance, the promiscuity, you know, like I can.

705
00:47:34.840 --> 00:47:42.599
Numb it for them, so like, yeah, but I think too,

706
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:49.400
like it depends obviously what happened, right and how and

707
00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:53.000
how long and all this other stuff that goes around it.

708
00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:59.559
And then I think when a person doesn't trust people,

709
00:48:00.360 --> 00:48:07.239
it's easy to do that than to really like be

710
00:48:07.480 --> 00:48:13.119
vulnerable with a person. So you have to remember sometimes

711
00:48:13.159 --> 00:48:22.039
the promiscuity is to avoid attachment connection, so it's more

712
00:48:22.199 --> 00:48:24.760
of a like, oh this made her horny or no,

713
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:28.599
this is a hoping this mechanism.

714
00:48:30.159 --> 00:48:33.559
It's also tied to their self esteem, you know, because

715
00:48:33.599 --> 00:48:36.199
if a woman feels that that's all she's good for

716
00:48:36.559 --> 00:48:40.639
all she has to offer, then that's what she's offering.

717
00:48:41.440 --> 00:48:44.679
And the funny thing is you can totally give your

718
00:48:44.719 --> 00:48:48.199
body and that person not have your heart and vice person.

719
00:48:50.639 --> 00:48:54.559
So I mean, men do it all the time, but

720
00:48:54.559 --> 00:49:00.840
but yes, like this it's a they and to actually

721
00:49:01.039 --> 00:49:04.559
just like disconnect completely.

722
00:49:05.440 --> 00:49:07.400
Mind from the heart from the body.

723
00:49:08.719 --> 00:49:12.639
So it's because actually that's actually like you know what

724
00:49:12.679 --> 00:49:16.079
I mean, Like that's again we're hurting ourselves when we

725
00:49:16.199 --> 00:49:19.000
do these things too. You just don't realize it at

726
00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:22.639
the time because you think that's what your word. Like,

727
00:49:23.039 --> 00:49:25.719
if you've convinced yourself that's your worst, then that's what

728
00:49:25.719 --> 00:49:28.599
you're going to do. It's the same thing with people

729
00:49:28.679 --> 00:49:32.639
in abusive relationships. If you convinced yourself that their words

730
00:49:32.679 --> 00:49:36.119
are true and that you don't deserve better or more,

731
00:49:36.639 --> 00:49:39.400
then you're gonna believe that and you're going to stick around.

732
00:49:39.440 --> 00:49:45.039
Because that's what abuse does, you know, it convinces the

733
00:49:45.119 --> 00:49:47.920
mind and the person that they're worth for us, that

734
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:50.760
they they don't you know, they're not the power.

735
00:49:50.840 --> 00:49:54.599
They have the right value depending on how early and

736
00:49:54.679 --> 00:49:58.440
what the relationship was to the person, if you knew them,

737
00:49:58.639 --> 00:50:04.119
you know, speaking on like the familial type of thing. Uh,

738
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:09.519
you know, parents to their kids. It's just when you

739
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.239
understand parents or caregivers as the people who are supposed

740
00:50:14.239 --> 00:50:18.079
to love, protect you and be there for you unconditionally,

741
00:50:18.559 --> 00:50:21.360
if they're the ones that are crossing these boundaries, you

742
00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:26.320
then learn there are no boundaries. There's no there is

743
00:50:26.360 --> 00:50:29.920
no boundary between family, there's you know, none of that.

744
00:50:30.039 --> 00:50:32.559
And so you know later in life one of the

745
00:50:32.559 --> 00:50:36.039
things that causes you to be promiscuous sometimes is that

746
00:50:36.599 --> 00:50:38.880
you know, this one person in my life or these

747
00:50:38.920 --> 00:50:41.760
two people in my life that were put here to

748
00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:46.360
protect me were actually my violators. So then I'm not

749
00:50:46.519 --> 00:50:50.400
safe with anyone anywhere. So you know, what's the point?

750
00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:51.320
You know?

751
00:50:52.960 --> 00:50:55.599
You know what that movie Pretty Woman, you know that

752
00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:59.079
scene where you know they're trying to be intimate and

753
00:50:59.119 --> 00:51:01.920
he wants to kiss her and she says no. It's

754
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:06.159
because so much can be done with a kiss, with

755
00:51:06.239 --> 00:51:11.800
a hug, and people actually connect that way, and and

756
00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:17.039
and I wish most guys would understand that, depending on

757
00:51:17.119 --> 00:51:20.360
who you're dealing with, a kiss can be so much

758
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:24.960
more sexual sensual than the actual act of having sex.

759
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:25.719
You know.

760
00:51:28.639 --> 00:51:37.440
What, No, I think you look like the type that

761
00:51:37.559 --> 00:51:47.159
likes to eat people's faces.

762
00:51:46.679 --> 00:52:20.559
But that's I'm great. But yeah, I think, you know,

763
00:52:20.760 --> 00:52:23.920
obviously hitting it on the on the head. And I

764
00:52:24.440 --> 00:52:26.239
also don't want people to start thinking that all the

765
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:33.960
strippers have been sexually abused some of them, like you know,

766
00:52:34.199 --> 00:52:38.320
there are people too that just enjoyed itself. Like for myself,

767
00:52:38.639 --> 00:52:45.840
like I own my sexuality because before I felt victims.

768
00:52:46.360 --> 00:52:50.679
Now that I'm like a survivor, and that's how I

769
00:52:50.719 --> 00:52:56.599
see it. Like for me, sexis and powering, so it's different,

770
00:52:57.400 --> 00:53:01.599
you know, like, yes I am I'm a horny bitch,

771
00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:07.320
but I also just like I know what I like

772
00:53:07.440 --> 00:53:15.119
and don't like, and I'm very like open sexually and

773
00:53:15.159 --> 00:53:19.239
stuff like that. But it took me trying to get

774
00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:25.760
to this place where before I was having sex because

775
00:53:25.800 --> 00:53:29.079
I could type thing and it was enjoyable and I

776
00:53:29.239 --> 00:53:33.920
was not trying to connect with anybody, So it was

777
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:40.239
different whereas like now though well in the past, not

778
00:53:40.599 --> 00:53:45.519
more recently, but like me sleeping around with people or whatever,

779
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:52.199
was more about me owning my sexuality and enjoying it

780
00:53:52.519 --> 00:53:55.119
the way I wanted to on my terms.

781
00:53:57.679 --> 00:54:03.800
And I think my experience it's actually it's led me

782
00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:08.920
actually down the road where I'm the opposite now, you know,

783
00:54:09.079 --> 00:54:12.159
like because now in my life I so much so

784
00:54:12.440 --> 00:54:17.760
know my value. I'm on a different path. My thing

785
00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:20.960
is I get to say no. I get to say no.

786
00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:26.440
I'm holding on to that for that one person, you know,

787
00:54:28.039 --> 00:54:30.039
and don't get it messed up. I see her saying

788
00:54:30.119 --> 00:54:33.960
honier in her forties than ever in her twenties, and

789
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:35.880
now she knows what she wants. And the thing is,

790
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:40.039
I know what I want too, and actually for the

791
00:54:40.239 --> 00:54:46.039
person lucky enough to come into my life, because I

792
00:54:46.079 --> 00:54:50.960
give so freely and with everything that I have, I've

793
00:54:51.000 --> 00:54:55.760
realized that for me that is more valuable and more

794
00:54:55.800 --> 00:55:00.760
precious to me. So now I choose not to give

795
00:55:00.760 --> 00:55:06.239
it to anyone, you know, until the time I decide

796
00:55:06.320 --> 00:55:09.400
is okay, which I do know. In the world that

797
00:55:09.440 --> 00:55:14.760
we live in may mean that I will be alone longer,

798
00:55:14.960 --> 00:55:17.880
and you know, because you know, in this day and age,

799
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:23.239
it's become more casual, more free, But for me it's

800
00:55:23.280 --> 00:55:26.960
become something totally different. And the funny thing is, at

801
00:55:26.960 --> 00:55:31.039
this time of my life, I'm actually okay with being

802
00:55:31.599 --> 00:55:36.559
by myself. Yes, it's still lonely, and but I think

803
00:55:36.599 --> 00:55:41.000
I have gone so long in my life feeling is though.

804
00:55:41.280 --> 00:55:44.320
That's all I was good for, That's all anyone wanted

805
00:55:44.360 --> 00:55:47.920
for me. That's all I had to offer anybody that.

806
00:55:48.079 --> 00:55:50.480
Now I have finally put my foot down and say,

807
00:55:50.519 --> 00:55:52.719
you know what, I could take it or leave it,

808
00:55:54.280 --> 00:55:58.599
but I get to choose. And because I know what's

809
00:55:58.679 --> 00:56:03.559
behind the door, I am not worried. Because you know,

810
00:56:03.719 --> 00:56:07.199
when somebody does come along that's actually willing to wait

811
00:56:07.239 --> 00:56:10.440
for that work for that, they are going to be

812
00:56:10.559 --> 00:56:16.159
blown away. Yeah, because I'm one of those. It's like

813
00:56:16.199 --> 00:56:20.039
when i'm yours, I'm yours entirely, and I'm all about

814
00:56:20.079 --> 00:56:23.559
the wall socket, I'm all about the you know, tell

815
00:56:23.639 --> 00:56:26.280
me what you want, and if it's in my power,

816
00:56:26.599 --> 00:56:30.800
I can compete with any woman just as good. I

817
00:56:30.840 --> 00:56:33.639
can watch the same things that you watch, and I

818
00:56:33.679 --> 00:56:36.760
can play, and I can do all those things. But

819
00:56:37.119 --> 00:56:40.400
I have now decided that that's not for everybody.

820
00:56:42.320 --> 00:56:45.400
So you're swinging from the chandelier.

821
00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:48.119
Oh yes, I'll swing from that, and I've lost fifty

822
00:56:48.159 --> 00:56:50.719
pounds so I could probably actually get up there now.

823
00:56:50.559 --> 00:56:50.800
So.

824
00:56:53.039 --> 00:56:54.000
Congratulations.

825
00:56:56.119 --> 00:56:59.280
But it's about working again. It's about working on you

826
00:56:59.400 --> 00:57:03.920
being self aware, knowing what you like and don't like

827
00:57:05.079 --> 00:57:08.719
and being able to express that and feel powerful enough

828
00:57:08.800 --> 00:57:16.039
to give or not give. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Christina. Yeah,

829
00:57:16.079 --> 00:57:18.360
I can't really be casually either. I was married to

830
00:57:18.400 --> 00:57:23.239
the same person for sixteen years and it's just not

831
00:57:23.400 --> 00:57:25.079
the same, you know.

832
00:57:25.920 --> 00:57:29.719
But yeah, sorry about about your husband. That is that sad.

833
00:57:29.800 --> 00:57:32.559
And I don't think there should be an expectation though,

834
00:57:32.880 --> 00:57:34.800
for people to think that, you know, if they're a

835
00:57:34.800 --> 00:57:37.440
widow or something, that you know, you need to be

836
00:57:37.480 --> 00:57:40.000
with somebody else. I mean, that's the decision everyone gets

837
00:57:40.039 --> 00:57:43.440
to make for themselves, like themselves. Yeah, I mean maybe

838
00:57:43.519 --> 00:57:45.559
right now that's not something you're need to give up,

839
00:57:45.920 --> 00:57:50.320
and that's fine, you're still mourning and grieving. But in

840
00:57:50.360 --> 00:57:53.719
the future, you know, I just always say to be open,

841
00:57:54.079 --> 00:57:58.480
just be open to what life brings you opportunities, you know,

842
00:57:58.599 --> 00:58:03.119
you just never know, even if it's friendships. But still,

843
00:58:03.719 --> 00:58:09.079
you know, uh, don't close yourself off either, That's what

844
00:58:09.119 --> 00:58:09.599
I'm saying.

845
00:58:11.800 --> 00:58:13.559
I think part of it for me is just the

846
00:58:13.599 --> 00:58:16.440
fact that people have that expectation.

847
00:58:16.599 --> 00:58:23.719
Right, and they're going to get that older. But we're older.

848
00:58:24.119 --> 00:58:28.800
So it's like at this point, right, like we're grown,

849
00:58:29.719 --> 00:58:30.880
So what.

850
00:58:31.000 --> 00:58:34.480
If we hear that so much. I hear that so much,

851
00:58:34.519 --> 00:58:37.880
and I'm like, being grown to me just means you

852
00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:41.920
should know better. We're not kids anymore to be you know, No,

853
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:43.599
we're not so sticking thing.

854
00:58:44.679 --> 00:58:52.360
We need to respect, but we need to respect what

855
00:58:53.320 --> 00:58:59.199
the person wants, like I shouldn't push on you that, like, oh,

856
00:58:59.400 --> 00:59:01.440
you're not going to give me any report, Like what

857
00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:04.280
then I know for sure, like you, you're not in

858
00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:07.760
this for the right resion. So I think it's a

859
00:59:07.800 --> 00:59:10.679
good thing because you get to read out those people

860
00:59:12.960 --> 00:59:16.159
and just be careful though, because I feel like there

861
00:59:16.199 --> 00:59:21.719
are people though, too that will say what you want

862
00:59:21.760 --> 00:59:25.000
to hear so that they can get what they want,

863
00:59:25.360 --> 00:59:28.679
even if it's a long game, you know, and that's scary,

864
00:59:28.800 --> 00:59:32.320
Like it sucks. I can't stand these Netflix freaking documentary

865
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:34.360
to much be.

866
00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:37.639
Afraid to self satisfy because let me tell you, girls.

867
00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:43.119
Oh my god, I'm ready to get better. Girl. I'll

868
00:59:43.119 --> 00:59:46.360
give you recommendations of what you should be having in

869
00:59:46.400 --> 00:59:47.719
that draw next seal bit.

870
00:59:58.000 --> 01:00:01.480
Once the seal has been broken, you can't put it back.

871
01:00:02.239 --> 01:00:10.360
So because you have already experienced what that feels like

872
01:00:10.559 --> 01:00:16.000
and what that means, it makes it very difficult to

873
01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:22.719
not at least so satisfy until you're emotionally prepared, you know,

874
01:00:23.159 --> 01:00:27.920
to include another person with that, and actually not for nothing.

875
01:00:27.960 --> 01:00:30.159
They say that you should always know your own body,

876
01:00:30.320 --> 01:00:34.719
and that's basically that's how you know I find a

877
01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:38.159
lump in my breast, That's how you know I figure

878
01:00:38.159 --> 01:00:40.800
out because it's like when you know your own body,

879
01:00:40.880 --> 01:00:45.800
you are better able and more equipped to let people

880
01:00:45.920 --> 01:00:47.960
know when something is right or wrong.

881
01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:51.239
Right, So it's important to know your stroke count right.

882
01:00:51.920 --> 01:00:52.559
Oh, and.

883
01:00:54.519 --> 01:00:59.920
That that changes the daily also depends on the poor

884
01:01:00.119 --> 01:01:04.239
you're watching, Like you know, it's all about the moon

885
01:01:04.400 --> 01:01:04.840
that day.

886
01:01:06.280 --> 01:01:08.239
Yes, I I'm just.

887
01:01:08.159 --> 01:01:10.639
Walking around, but I'm just on my bad. I just

888
01:01:10.639 --> 01:01:11.480
had to say that.

889
01:01:11.559 --> 01:01:14.440
But I do think it's funny like this, Uh, the

890
01:01:14.480 --> 01:01:18.800
portrayal of women master baby, like in movies and stuff

891
01:01:18.960 --> 01:01:22.079
is always for like shows is like we're lighting all

892
01:01:22.079 --> 01:01:25.440
these candles and ship and like you're like, who the

893
01:01:25.480 --> 01:01:28.679
fuck has tied for that ship? Bro? I'm got by

894
01:01:29.000 --> 01:01:33.320
pouring up on there. I've got favorites I got already.

895
01:01:33.519 --> 01:01:37.519
I'm watching like there's no reason to play around. It's

896
01:01:37.639 --> 01:01:39.760
I know what I'm coming to do. That's it.

897
01:01:40.360 --> 01:01:42.039
Yeah, coming exactly.

898
01:01:42.239 --> 01:01:50.920
Exactly you're coming to come. That's it and that sometimes

899
01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:53.559
not even kidding me though, but sometimes it helps me

900
01:01:53.639 --> 01:01:56.800
go to sleep, like if my mind doesn't shut the

901
01:01:56.840 --> 01:01:59.719
fuck up sometimes and I'm just like bro, like I

902
01:02:00.320 --> 01:02:03.159
right now, I just want to go to bed. I'm tired.

903
01:02:03.519 --> 01:02:06.559
This is some bullshit and I think too, like guys

904
01:02:06.599 --> 01:02:12.039
already do that ship they know I do that in

905
01:02:12.119 --> 01:02:12.840
the mood.

906
01:02:16.519 --> 01:02:17.679
I feel attacked.

907
01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:24.199
You should listen and say the mood is listen if

908
01:02:24.239 --> 01:02:27.239
that's what you want, and you do that. Okay, yes,

909
01:02:27.400 --> 01:02:31.400
smell in some nice sense, get in the the room.

910
01:02:31.519 --> 01:02:33.960
I feel like some animals trying to attack me this

911
01:02:34.079 --> 01:02:40.960
now yeah, like it all depends, but but yeah, yeah,

912
01:02:41.360 --> 01:02:43.280
the little guy, I think he was trying to like

913
01:02:43.559 --> 01:02:47.400
jump up here or something. They're crazy. I have a

914
01:02:47.480 --> 01:02:52.760
target box and now they like use like brown paper

915
01:02:53.360 --> 01:02:55.559
so like and they scrunch it up or whatever to

916
01:02:56.039 --> 01:02:57.639
that's like you see.

917
01:02:59.199 --> 01:02:59.880
Being attacked.

918
01:03:01.159 --> 01:03:04.559
I knew when I felt it, well, this box my

919
01:03:04.679 --> 01:03:07.840
cat will sleep in it for hours. And my friend

920
01:03:07.920 --> 01:03:10.840
was here yesterday and he was just like, it's somewhere

921
01:03:10.840 --> 01:03:13.320
all with your cat, Like she hasn't left that box

922
01:03:13.360 --> 01:03:16.360
in like four hours so I was like, yeah, girt, Pappy,

923
01:03:16.559 --> 01:03:17.280
they're like kids.

924
01:03:17.360 --> 01:03:19.400
You buy them all these toys, they don't want them.

925
01:03:19.400 --> 01:03:21.079
You give them a simple box.

926
01:03:20.800 --> 01:03:24.440
And they want they want them, They want the fucking box.

927
01:03:24.519 --> 01:03:28.239
It's ridiculous. So I told him keep that box. That's

928
01:03:28.239 --> 01:03:32.320
their box. They like to sleep in. Its perfect, Thanks, buddy.

929
01:03:32.960 --> 01:03:37.599
I don't know what the hell he's doing up here. Okay,

930
01:03:39.719 --> 01:03:44.280
maybe he would. He's trying to get into the bathrooms.

931
01:03:44.440 --> 01:03:46.440
He's saying, can you see him?

932
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:54.559
Like, yeah, but excuse me, I'm trying to do a

933
01:03:54.639 --> 01:04:01.840
show here.

934
01:04:03.199 --> 01:04:05.280
I don't know what to talk about.

935
01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:08.960
Yeah, So sending them when she feels attacked.

936
01:04:08.559 --> 01:04:12.039
Now, oh man, I'm sorry about that now, but I mean,

937
01:04:12.159 --> 01:04:14.440
I get it, but I just think it's funny like

938
01:04:14.480 --> 01:04:17.159
that they make like this whole production on the movies

939
01:04:17.199 --> 01:04:19.559
and stuff like this is like a whole thing and

940
01:04:19.639 --> 01:04:20.559
it's not that.

941
01:04:22.239 --> 01:04:24.119
Yeah, and then the guys want you to do all

942
01:04:24.159 --> 01:04:27.559
this stuff. Do you realize it took four hours for

943
01:04:27.599 --> 01:04:29.800
them to make that little five minute cup you So

944
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:34.920
there's no way that she's doing that one right after

945
01:04:34.960 --> 01:04:36.360
the other every time.

946
01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:37.159
Yeah.

947
01:04:37.239 --> 01:04:40.239
Yeah, So dude, don't expect the unexpected.

948
01:04:41.800 --> 01:04:44.480
Yeah, don't expect nobody to swing from fucking chandeliers and

949
01:04:44.480 --> 01:04:45.280
wrecking balls.

950
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:49.119
Oh my god. I also here that it's actually kind

951
01:04:49.119 --> 01:04:51.159
of normal for a lot of people to kind of

952
01:04:51.199 --> 01:04:56.760
feel shame after they do that. And apparently it's like

953
01:04:56.840 --> 01:05:00.440
a cultural society thing of like, because we kind of

954
01:05:00.480 --> 01:05:04.400
grew up being told not to masturbate and stuff. So

955
01:05:05.920 --> 01:05:09.320
when people do, they tend to like feel like, oh,

956
01:05:09.360 --> 01:05:13.239
like they did something dirty, and it's like, no, you didn't.

957
01:05:14.440 --> 01:05:16.760
All right, we'll give me the light the cute outfit.

958
01:05:16.960 --> 01:05:23.199
I can't. I can't. That's it's way too much for me.

959
01:05:23.400 --> 01:05:25.559
But that's adorable, I understand.

960
01:05:25.559 --> 01:05:27.079
But you got to wear a cute outfit too.

961
01:05:30.519 --> 01:05:37.239
I'm in my paint Jan's already, which is bo oh listen.

962
01:05:37.760 --> 01:05:39.920
That's that's how you do, you though, that's part of

963
01:05:39.960 --> 01:05:43.960
self care. So if that's what it is for some people,

964
01:05:44.039 --> 01:05:47.000
it's taking a nice bath first. For you, it's in

965
01:05:47.079 --> 01:05:53.559
the mooda all good. But then my question to you

966
01:05:53.719 --> 01:05:54.920
is how long does it last?

967
01:05:57.880 --> 01:05:58.840
That's a good question.

968
01:06:01.639 --> 01:06:04.840
Banging it out you can be extra, that's so good.

969
01:06:05.360 --> 01:06:12.440
Yeah, yeah, I mean what you got this whole you

970
01:06:12.480 --> 01:06:15.159
put this whole production together and everything you got the outfit,

971
01:06:15.239 --> 01:06:19.280
the candle, you touch yourself, Boom, You're done. It's like, damn,

972
01:06:19.320 --> 01:06:20.880
I was like ten and a half minutes.

973
01:06:23.000 --> 01:06:25.679
The funny thing for me is, you know, people, well,

974
01:06:25.800 --> 01:06:31.119
I mean, Tam, I guess, but I don't have the

975
01:06:31.159 --> 01:06:34.920
pleasure of she's too much. They can go find that.

976
01:06:35.239 --> 01:06:39.159
You know what, you are quoting me, Christina, You are

977
01:06:39.280 --> 01:06:44.480
quoting me. People tell me I'm too much. Go ahead,

978
01:06:44.519 --> 01:06:48.760
go find you some less. You go right ahead. The

979
01:06:48.840 --> 01:06:55.360
thing is because it is so difficult for me to

980
01:06:55.400 --> 01:07:00.960
get to that point. I think I think men find

981
01:07:01.000 --> 01:07:04.800
it a challenge to be the one to do.

982
01:07:04.639 --> 01:07:07.960
That, like a pressure built up.

983
01:07:08.679 --> 01:07:11.119
Yeah, Like it's just like, oh, well I could do

984
01:07:11.199 --> 01:07:14.400
that for you, and then they get upset when they don't,

985
01:07:15.239 --> 01:07:17.920
and then and then when they do, it's like they

986
01:07:17.920 --> 01:07:21.000
don't realize it was with my help. But at the

987
01:07:21.039 --> 01:07:23.599
same token, because it is so rare for me, I'm

988
01:07:23.639 --> 01:07:26.840
just letting you know, don't don't hang your hat on that,

989
01:07:26.880 --> 01:07:33.400
because once it happens, I'm done. I'm done. If you

990
01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:34.039
didn't go.

991
01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:36.280
Then I'm not looking heart attacked.

992
01:07:39.119 --> 01:07:41.519
It's like it's like, once I get to that point,

993
01:07:41.559 --> 01:07:44.760
I'm done, don't even touch me. Anymore. I'm just I'm done.

994
01:07:46.039 --> 01:07:51.559
She's over. Don't look at me.

995
01:07:55.119 --> 01:07:58.320
It's like, don't touch you want it to happen so

996
01:07:58.400 --> 01:07:59.679
bad it happens.

997
01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:07.960
So now just go dudes in the corner and stumb like, oh.

998
01:08:07.800 --> 01:08:15.280
My god, you know look crazy.

999
01:08:15.400 --> 01:08:18.319
I actually had one guy say, are you serious, like

1000
01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:19.720
you're just leaving like that.

1001
01:08:19.920 --> 01:08:28.720
I'm like, yep, oh man, yeah, oh yeah, no, yeah,

1002
01:08:28.920 --> 01:08:31.479
I never I've never feaked and work out them.

1003
01:08:32.119 --> 01:08:34.439
If I didn't come, you know, I'm gonna tell you.

1004
01:08:35.399 --> 01:08:37.880
Don't get all proud and be like, oh I got

1005
01:08:37.960 --> 01:08:40.600
no body, No, you did not make it come. I'm sorry.

1006
01:08:40.760 --> 01:08:46.560
It's all good though, I'm set. I'm happy. But but yes, but.

1007
01:08:46.560 --> 01:08:49.279
Then again, my goal nowadays is just to be tired,

1008
01:08:49.439 --> 01:08:52.079
tire me out, wear it out, but don't even try,

1009
01:08:52.159 --> 01:08:52.439
you know.

1010
01:08:52.560 --> 01:08:58.880
Oh my god, she's too ut. I don't know, but

1011
01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:03.239
we So. I used to be someone who needed literal

1012
01:09:03.279 --> 01:09:06.960
simulations to come and so I would always have to

1013
01:09:06.960 --> 01:09:10.079
get on top com, which is really annoying because that's

1014
01:09:10.119 --> 01:09:14.800
a lot of work. And I don't know what happened.

1015
01:09:15.760 --> 01:09:18.319
I don't know if it's the demographic of men I

1016
01:09:18.479 --> 01:09:23.840
started saying, and that changed things but now I come

1017
01:09:24.399 --> 01:09:30.640
like nothing so lucky. It's interesting, and I think it's

1018
01:09:30.720 --> 01:09:36.520
because I've allowed myself to be three in that in

1019
01:09:36.600 --> 01:09:40.880
the moment, and especially when you do have an emotional

1020
01:09:40.880 --> 01:09:42.560
connection with somebody.

1021
01:09:43.279 --> 01:09:44.640
I declared some more.

1022
01:09:48.960 --> 01:09:55.600
Babysck. Oh no, I've seen baby dicks, but you know

1023
01:09:57.840 --> 01:10:01.279
they come at all sizes, and men different sizes can

1024
01:10:01.359 --> 01:10:09.439
do many things the same, but either way, it's there.

1025
01:10:09.640 --> 01:10:12.960
I do think, like how the reason why I brought

1026
01:10:13.000 --> 01:10:16.000
it up is because what we're talking about, this emotional connection,

1027
01:10:16.119 --> 01:10:20.000
this vulnerability, that allowing yourself to be kind of like

1028
01:10:20.199 --> 01:10:25.039
free around that person. That's when I think it pops off.

1029
01:10:25.520 --> 01:10:30.159
Because if I'm feeling you and I'm trusting you and

1030
01:10:30.199 --> 01:10:34.479
we're doing this together, then we're having a good time

1031
01:10:34.680 --> 01:10:39.800
regardless you get right. So I feel like if you're

1032
01:10:39.840 --> 01:10:45.319
going in closing like unsure, that's not gonna you know,

1033
01:10:45.479 --> 01:10:50.359
meet these things good for you, right, you kind of

1034
01:10:50.359 --> 01:10:54.600
gotta let go for real and just enjoy the moment,

1035
01:10:54.720 --> 01:10:57.560
like be present in that moment, get out of your head,

1036
01:10:57.960 --> 01:11:01.720
don't fucking think about anything but what's going on. But

1037
01:11:01.840 --> 01:11:04.479
can you It's like you have to train yourself to

1038
01:11:04.560 --> 01:11:08.760
do this, Like I literally will just be like, focused

1039
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:11.199
on your pussy. What is she saying? Because she is,

1040
01:11:11.479 --> 01:11:14.800
she's in charge right now, things are happening for her.

1041
01:11:14.960 --> 01:11:16.159
We're listening to her.

1042
01:11:17.199 --> 01:11:17.640
M hmm.

1043
01:11:18.880 --> 01:11:22.279
That's when you're freaking come out. It's that is when

1044
01:11:22.359 --> 01:11:26.199
you can be more adventurous because you're you're vulnerable, you're open.

1045
01:11:26.520 --> 01:11:29.159
But that's the thing is finding that person that makes

1046
01:11:29.159 --> 01:11:32.640
you feel that way. This doesn't just happen with just

1047
01:11:32.760 --> 01:11:38.920
anybody whatever, but when you're feeling it with somebody, it's

1048
01:11:38.960 --> 01:11:42.119
it's good. Good stuff happens.

1049
01:11:43.439 --> 01:11:49.800
I'm just do it in a wall mm hm. So word,

1050
01:11:51.439 --> 01:11:52.600
oh ship.

1051
01:11:52.479 --> 01:11:58.239
Man, then you have pat to do it. So that's that.

1052
01:12:00.279 --> 01:12:02.520
Yeah, what do you have an animal just staring at you?

1053
01:12:02.560 --> 01:12:02.840
Like what?

1054
01:12:03.399 --> 01:12:07.640
I unfortunately had a dog get involved once with me

1055
01:12:07.960 --> 01:12:12.640
and my ex, my first ex. What yes, his dog.

1056
01:12:14.279 --> 01:12:16.960
She was crazy. She liked to hump his legs. She

1057
01:12:17.079 --> 01:12:20.800
was obsessed with him, and yeah, he was on proper

1058
01:12:20.960 --> 01:12:26.439
me and the dog came downstairs, made us fucking and

1059
01:12:26.600 --> 01:12:31.960
she got on him and started humping him. Oh and

1060
01:12:32.039 --> 01:12:33.920
obviously we had to stop and we were just like

1061
01:12:34.000 --> 01:12:35.159
what the fuck is going on?

1062
01:12:37.560 --> 01:12:37.880
Want to.

1063
01:12:39.800 --> 01:12:44.359
What is happening? You know? That just ruined a lot.

1064
01:12:44.880 --> 01:12:48.199
My dog is the biggest cock blocker. Oh yeah, or

1065
01:12:48.239 --> 01:12:51.359
they'll do that. They just will make it harder for

1066
01:12:51.439 --> 01:12:53.920
you to get things done.

1067
01:12:54.239 --> 01:12:54.760
Mm hmmm.

1068
01:12:56.920 --> 01:12:59.520
So you put them in another room or somewhere else.

1069
01:13:00.319 --> 01:13:02.439
Mommy needs her time, thank you?

1070
01:13:04.000 --> 01:13:04.239
Yeah?

1071
01:13:04.960 --> 01:13:05.159
Yeah.

1072
01:13:05.279 --> 01:13:10.079
Kids, kids are blockers too, oh biggest all right.

1073
01:13:10.359 --> 01:13:12.399
It's like all of a sudden, they don't speak to

1074
01:13:12.479 --> 01:13:15.600
you until you got something you need to do. Yeah,

1075
01:13:15.680 --> 01:13:19.960
and it's like, mom.

1076
01:13:18.399 --> 01:13:21.600
I feel like there's a radar something that goes off

1077
01:13:21.720 --> 01:13:22.319
that they know.

1078
01:13:23.199 --> 01:13:23.600
Mm hmm.

1079
01:13:23.800 --> 01:13:28.479
They're like, oh, mommy's quiet, busy, let me go with

1080
01:13:28.600 --> 01:13:35.840
that real quick. It's like, mommy, just try to have

1081
01:13:38.319 --> 01:13:39.000
I can't do that.

1082
01:13:40.199 --> 01:13:41.640
What the fuck happened?

1083
01:13:43.359 --> 01:13:43.960
You love it?

1084
01:13:44.680 --> 01:13:45.159
Yeah? I do.

1085
01:13:46.039 --> 01:13:48.319
Clearly he didn't have that problem because he's got so

1086
01:13:48.359 --> 01:13:49.520
many daring kids.

1087
01:13:50.319 --> 01:13:54.479
What the children quarrel?

1088
01:13:55.239 --> 01:13:59.279
M hm, yeah I got I got a lot of them,

1089
01:13:59.319 --> 01:14:00.840
and grandchildren.

1090
01:14:01.880 --> 01:14:04.840
It's crazy. Well you I like, not that I forget

1091
01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:07.239
that you have grandkids, but like when you say it,

1092
01:14:07.439 --> 01:14:10.199
like a reminder, oh my god, he has grand like

1093
01:14:10.279 --> 01:14:10.840
cooly ship.

1094
01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:18.680
Yeah, so I did this this ancestry DNA.

1095
01:14:18.479 --> 01:14:23.359
Test things you painted to them? Oh no, you're fuck,

1096
01:14:23.439 --> 01:14:29.600
You're gonna be wanted for murder and like, oh my gosh.

1097
01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:31.680
So I sent it. I sent it in. I'm just waiting.

1098
01:14:31.720 --> 01:14:33.760
I'm just waiting on the results. I should be getting

1099
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:36.279
them back, like within the next two weeks.

1100
01:14:36.600 --> 01:14:38.520
Oh that's interesting. I wonder if you're going to find

1101
01:14:38.560 --> 01:14:41.479
out if you have any half siblings or something.

1102
01:14:41.600 --> 01:14:45.399
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the goal.

1103
01:14:46.279 --> 01:14:51.000
Yeah, I love them Puerto Ricans.

1104
01:14:51.920 --> 01:14:56.039
Yeah right, oh ship, but my.

1105
01:14:55.920 --> 01:14:59.840
Little child goes around here flipping her hair talking about

1106
01:15:00.039 --> 01:15:05.560
I feel pricking today.

1107
01:15:05.920 --> 01:15:08.840
Oh my goodness. Yeah, people are people are bringing up,

1108
01:15:08.880 --> 01:15:11.520
you know, because bad Bunny and the whole Super Bowl

1109
01:15:11.680 --> 01:15:16.159
thing and the Puerto Rican coming out with their sh

1110
01:15:16.560 --> 01:15:19.680
There's some funny shit out there, though. My favorite are

1111
01:15:19.680 --> 01:15:26.199
the ones that the chancelas, Yeah, I'm a what oh

1112
01:15:26.279 --> 01:15:33.800
a grandma, she's a grandma? A grandma? Sorry? Oh boy,

1113
01:15:34.399 --> 01:15:36.800
So yeah.

1114
01:15:36.159 --> 01:15:38.079
Let's do one more thing before we go for the.

1115
01:15:39.880 --> 01:15:40.199
Now.

1116
01:15:40.720 --> 01:15:42.239
This is gonna be a little funny. Then have a

1117
01:15:42.279 --> 01:15:42.880
good time with it.

1118
01:15:43.359 --> 01:15:43.720
Okay.

1119
01:15:45.920 --> 01:15:51.119
What would be on your dating profile if you had one?

1120
01:15:52.399 --> 01:15:54.399
What would do dating profile? Sound like?

1121
01:15:55.800 --> 01:16:03.840
Mine would be very boring because it's on my profile.

1122
01:16:03.920 --> 01:16:09.119
God number one, my kids number two. Yeah, I'm just

1123
01:16:09.520 --> 01:16:11.239
I'm just a real person, that's all.

1124
01:16:12.520 --> 01:16:15.439
Okay, mine would be boring.

1125
01:16:15.600 --> 01:16:18.479
But I like boring because it's you know, it's safe.

1126
01:16:20.479 --> 01:16:20.920
Mm hmm.

1127
01:16:22.159 --> 01:16:26.359
Okay, all right, what about you tg be on your

1128
01:16:26.439 --> 01:16:27.239
dating profile?

1129
01:16:27.680 --> 01:16:32.920
Oh my god, it was on my dating profile. It

1130
01:16:33.159 --> 01:16:40.000
was because I don't have one right now, but I'm

1131
01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:44.119
pretty honest put it out there, how old I am,

1132
01:16:44.439 --> 01:16:51.920
what I'm looking for. Specifically, I that I'm married, I

1133
01:16:52.039 --> 01:16:54.479
do put that in my profile, and then I have

1134
01:16:54.560 --> 01:16:57.399
an open marriage. And then I always get the question

1135
01:16:57.640 --> 01:17:00.680
like if he's going to be there point in him,

1136
01:17:01.560 --> 01:17:07.840
and I'm just like, no, let's see. You'd be surprised

1137
01:17:07.880 --> 01:17:11.279
like how much I put And I would have conversations

1138
01:17:11.319 --> 01:17:13.920
with people and they they'd be like, when you're married,

1139
01:17:14.760 --> 01:17:18.520
They're like, Or they'll see my Facebook profile and see

1140
01:17:18.520 --> 01:17:21.079
that I'm married, like, oh you're married, Like, uh, did

1141
01:17:21.079 --> 01:17:23.000
you read my profile? Because if you would have read

1142
01:17:23.000 --> 01:17:23.880
my profile, if you.

1143
01:17:23.880 --> 01:17:26.640
Wouldn't read these stupid profile.

1144
01:17:26.439 --> 01:17:29.960
That's what I'm saying, and that's why I would only

1145
01:17:30.039 --> 01:17:34.720
really talk to people who read my profiles, because it

1146
01:17:34.880 --> 01:17:36.840
was like, if I have to be explained as to

1147
01:17:36.880 --> 01:17:40.079
you again, then what was the point like you need

1148
01:17:40.119 --> 01:17:43.680
looked at my picture. Obviously, that's what we do. We

1149
01:17:43.760 --> 01:17:46.000
look at the picture. We'll see if we're like, okay,

1150
01:17:46.079 --> 01:17:48.199
am I into this? Could I be into this person?

1151
01:17:48.319 --> 01:17:53.479
And then read about them. I her fund would always

1152
01:17:53.600 --> 01:17:56.680
like pick on the profiles of the guys who would

1153
01:17:56.680 --> 01:18:00.399
say things seven extremely or like I like in the

1154
01:18:00.439 --> 01:18:02.760
profile where they could put like their favorite shows or

1155
01:18:03.319 --> 01:18:05.800
like see you know things I would watch that people

1156
01:18:05.840 --> 01:18:08.560
don't know or something. And one time there was a

1157
01:18:08.600 --> 01:18:11.840
guy who watched ninety eight Fiance and I was like,

1158
01:18:11.880 --> 01:18:14.479
oh my god, I'm so talking to him because I

1159
01:18:15.720 --> 01:18:19.479
love that show. So it's like, you know, like just

1160
01:18:19.600 --> 01:18:22.640
connecting with certain things. At least when I'm looking at

1161
01:18:22.640 --> 01:18:26.239
a profile, that's what I'm looking at. So I think

1162
01:18:26.239 --> 01:18:31.319
it's just be honest in your profile. And for me

1163
01:18:31.720 --> 01:18:34.960
it was bad and what I wanted at the time,

1164
01:18:35.000 --> 01:18:37.760
which is your friends with benefit and what that would

1165
01:18:37.800 --> 01:18:45.960
look like basically M and my cats. I always mention

1166
01:18:46.079 --> 01:18:49.920
the cats he gets to in the pic. There's always

1167
01:18:49.920 --> 01:18:52.319
a cat. Of course, he needs to know what they explains.

1168
01:18:54.399 --> 01:18:58.600
Oh so you're one that posts your kids?

1169
01:18:58.680 --> 01:19:01.720
Yes, I post my child. Uh, She's okay with that,

1170
01:19:01.840 --> 01:19:06.960
She signed off on the waiver. Uh, because she thinks

1171
01:19:06.960 --> 01:19:09.399
she's beautiful, so she's like, please kill the world.

1172
01:19:11.520 --> 01:19:13.640
And usually, you know, I got, oh, you're caught cute,

1173
01:19:13.680 --> 01:19:25.039
and I'm like, oh, hurry, you should see my other posters.

1174
01:19:32.479 --> 01:19:38.439
Yeah, y'all too much for me. Man, Black people, if

1175
01:19:38.479 --> 01:19:40.680
they have shirtless pictures.

1176
01:19:45.920 --> 01:19:47.800
To show you the band, I don't know.

1177
01:19:48.319 --> 01:19:50.560
But if you're showing it to everybody else, it won't

1178
01:19:50.560 --> 01:19:52.439
belong to me. I don't share very well.

1179
01:19:52.880 --> 01:19:57.600
Okay, okay, should just like start commenting on profiles and

1180
01:19:57.720 --> 01:19:59.880
be like, maybe if you get rid of that shirt

1181
01:20:00.079 --> 01:20:02.479
let's picture, we'd be talking.

1182
01:20:06.760 --> 01:20:10.720
If another person tells me how sexy and hot my

1183
01:20:10.800 --> 01:20:12.479
lips are, I'm gonna scream.

1184
01:20:12.840 --> 01:20:16.439
But listen, girl, your let's are sexy and hot? What

1185
01:20:16.720 --> 01:20:17.239
you want?

1186
01:20:17.399 --> 01:20:22.199
I know? But I know. I get on the elevator today.

1187
01:20:22.359 --> 01:20:25.960
I mean I was flatter. I got on the elevator today. Uh.

1188
01:20:26.239 --> 01:20:29.439
And and this guy at the courthouse gets on the

1189
01:20:29.479 --> 01:20:31.640
elevator and before he gets off, he makes sure he

1190
01:20:31.720 --> 01:20:34.560
lets me know I think you look really good in

1191
01:20:34.640 --> 01:20:44.600
that dress. I was like, thank you, Hey, I mean,

1192
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:46.479
I get it. I've been getting up at four am

1193
01:20:46.560 --> 01:20:48.840
for the last two years to go to the gym,

1194
01:20:48.920 --> 01:20:50.159
so I better look something.

1195
01:20:53.000 --> 01:20:56.119
Am Yeah what Jim opens at four am?

1196
01:20:57.439 --> 01:20:58.960
Five Planet Fitness.

1197
01:20:59.359 --> 01:21:01.640
Oh you're getting up at four.

1198
01:21:02.560 --> 01:21:05.239
I was like, yes, you have like twenty four hours

1199
01:21:05.279 --> 01:21:08.640
actually is not many, but not many.

1200
01:21:08.800 --> 01:21:11.039
It used to be in the COVID hit and they stopped.

1201
01:21:12.680 --> 01:21:16.479
Yeah yeah because if after work I'm not getting there.

1202
01:21:16.880 --> 01:21:19.520
Let me tell you I missed twenty four hours CBS.

1203
01:21:19.560 --> 01:21:20.439
So for a good time.

1204
01:21:21.239 --> 01:21:22.159
There's one right here?

1205
01:21:22.800 --> 01:21:26.600
No, not out here, nothing.

1206
01:21:27.199 --> 01:21:28.840
Oh you're out in the woods.

1207
01:21:29.199 --> 01:21:31.680
Yeah, so God for been something happens. It's like you

1208
01:21:31.720 --> 01:21:36.000
would need to get something from the pharmacy store. You

1209
01:21:36.039 --> 01:21:39.159
can't because they closed like eight o'clock. I'm like, who's

1210
01:21:39.199 --> 01:21:39.720
that helping?

1211
01:21:40.600 --> 01:21:46.079
Yeah? So what's what's everybody playing for Friday?

1212
01:21:48.119 --> 01:21:51.159
I'm hosting a game night for my group out here

1213
01:21:51.159 --> 01:21:52.079
in Central k A.

1214
01:21:53.880 --> 01:21:56.079
Oh what group is that?

1215
01:21:57.680 --> 01:22:01.039
Well, thanks for asking. I have a h.

1216
01:22:03.560 --> 01:22:03.640
What.

1217
01:22:06.039 --> 01:22:08.479
I started a plus sized group out here in Central

1218
01:22:08.520 --> 01:22:14.760
PA called Being Her Now Central Pa, And basically it's

1219
01:22:14.800 --> 01:22:21.039
just a group of fat women who are community. There's

1220
01:22:21.039 --> 01:22:23.920
something wrong with the words fat. I own that shit.

1221
01:22:24.119 --> 01:22:27.720
I am a fat woman and there's no shame in that.

1222
01:22:28.319 --> 01:22:29.359
No shame at all.

1223
01:22:30.800 --> 01:22:33.319
The shame. If you're sinning, call yourself fat, then we

1224
01:22:33.439 --> 01:22:36.760
got problems. But but bad women are allowed to call

1225
01:22:36.800 --> 01:22:45.640
themselves back. So basically, like I've met a couple of

1226
01:22:45.680 --> 01:22:50.880
people so far, we went to Chili. I'm doing the

1227
01:22:51.079 --> 01:22:55.800
game night on Friday. Uh. Next month, I'm gonna do something,

1228
01:22:55.920 --> 01:22:59.239
probably for Thanksgiving. I don't know what yet, if I'm

1229
01:22:59.279 --> 01:23:04.000
going to like do something for us here or go

1230
01:23:04.079 --> 01:23:10.920
somewhere and do something. And in January, I'm doing a

1231
01:23:11.800 --> 01:23:20.079
what you call the fucking oh man, I'm blanking vision board.

1232
01:23:20.760 --> 01:23:24.119
There you go. I'm doing a vision board night on

1233
01:23:24.319 --> 01:23:29.079
like the first Sunday in January. And in February I

1234
01:23:29.079 --> 01:23:35.119
am hoping to host a plus size clothing swap and

1235
01:23:35.159 --> 01:23:40.039
do like a Gallantine theme possibly and have some vendors

1236
01:23:40.039 --> 01:23:43.000
there and stuff like that, but basically a coo swop

1237
01:23:43.239 --> 01:23:46.680
if you look in your areas to see or start

1238
01:23:46.680 --> 01:23:49.920
your own. Basically, if people buy tickets to go to this,

1239
01:23:50.319 --> 01:23:53.000
and the deal is they bring fifteen to twenty items

1240
01:23:53.000 --> 01:23:56.960
of clothing that they no longer want. Obviously we have

1241
01:23:57.079 --> 01:23:59.640
to be clean. It can't be like things would hold

1242
01:23:59.760 --> 01:24:03.800
and dirty and blah blah blah and it's just closed,

1243
01:24:04.399 --> 01:24:09.920
no intimate anything like that. And we do all sizes

1244
01:24:10.439 --> 01:24:15.239
to success hopefully, and we set up tables and a

1245
01:24:15.279 --> 01:24:18.560
police and eat tables of size, and then when all

1246
01:24:18.560 --> 01:24:20.920
the clothes are placed where they need to be, you

1247
01:24:21.000 --> 01:24:25.479
can scatternge and look and take what you want. So

1248
01:24:25.640 --> 01:24:31.000
it's literally a way to get a whole wardrobe sometimes

1249
01:24:31.039 --> 01:24:33.319
because people are getting rid of things that they don't want,

1250
01:24:33.439 --> 01:24:36.359
which may be very useful for you. And when I

1251
01:24:36.399 --> 01:24:39.039
went to the Philly Fat Coon, which is this weekend

1252
01:24:39.079 --> 01:24:44.359
and I can't I'm not going unfortunately, but they do

1253
01:24:44.520 --> 01:24:48.239
theirs on Sunday, and that's what it is. It's like

1254
01:24:48.520 --> 01:24:52.560
I would take a whole, like big ass shopping bag

1255
01:24:53.199 --> 01:24:56.520
of clothes, and I would come home with a big

1256
01:24:56.560 --> 01:25:00.720
ass shopping bag of clothes. I actually got like like

1257
01:25:00.800 --> 01:25:04.319
three influencers that were there the first year. I got

1258
01:25:04.359 --> 01:25:09.880
two dresses and this cute little candy set play. Yeah,

1259
01:25:10.239 --> 01:25:12.520
Like I was like shocked at some of the stuff

1260
01:25:12.560 --> 01:25:16.119
that I've gotten, and I still wear some of the

1261
01:25:16.159 --> 01:25:19.600
things that I've gotten. I have some dresses and they

1262
01:25:19.760 --> 01:25:24.359
almost bosses great. I love clothes, So it's fun.

1263
01:25:24.800 --> 01:25:27.680
I think it's a group that's dope.

1264
01:25:28.319 --> 01:25:32.239
Yeah right now, and we have forty two members. I'm

1265
01:25:32.239 --> 01:25:36.760
hoping to make it, but I want bigger because it's

1266
01:25:36.800 --> 01:25:41.840
hard to on Facebook with algorithms and everything, Like people

1267
01:25:41.920 --> 01:25:44.560
might not see the post because I'm not like posting

1268
01:25:44.560 --> 01:25:46.880
shit every day, so i might have to change that

1269
01:25:47.039 --> 01:25:49.319
start posting shit every day. So I'm coming up on

1270
01:25:49.359 --> 01:25:51.960
people see it a little bit more because we do

1271
01:25:52.199 --> 01:25:54.600
have like these events and I'm hoping, you know, I

1272
01:25:54.680 --> 01:25:57.399
got like five people saying they're coming. I'm hoping it

1273
01:25:57.399 --> 01:25:59.199
will be a little bit more. But I'm okay with

1274
01:25:59.319 --> 01:26:03.239
five because it's more intimate that way, and then you

1275
01:26:03.359 --> 01:26:05.800
actually you have a better time when it's a small

1276
01:26:05.840 --> 01:26:09.159
group of people. So I'm okay with that. And but

1277
01:26:09.319 --> 01:26:14.039
I wasn't going to do anything for Halloween, and I

1278
01:26:14.119 --> 01:26:16.000
felt like I have a party to go to her

1279
01:26:16.039 --> 01:26:19.439
or anything like that, so I'm probably might not even

1280
01:26:19.439 --> 01:26:23.880
get dressed up. I just wear like Halloween stuff and

1281
01:26:23.920 --> 01:26:26.439
I'm going to see about like bringing some candy and

1282
01:26:26.479 --> 01:26:30.600
stuff with me so we can see some yummy stuff

1283
01:26:30.640 --> 01:26:33.920
while way there or something. But but yeah, I'm excited

1284
01:26:33.960 --> 01:26:36.960
about it. I'm hoping eventually with the group to do

1285
01:26:37.079 --> 01:26:42.800
the treats and things like that, bigger events and hopefully

1286
01:26:42.840 --> 01:26:43.880
it would becomes.

1287
01:26:43.600 --> 01:26:46.840
Something nice, very very nice.

1288
01:26:47.640 --> 01:26:52.560
H Yes, I have a meeting. I'm meeting with a

1289
01:26:52.640 --> 01:26:58.359
there's the owner here that has a yoga studio and

1290
01:26:58.479 --> 01:27:04.119
she sorry, she basically it's going to be with me.

1291
01:27:04.159 --> 01:27:06.960
We're going to talk about possibly doing some classes and

1292
01:27:07.039 --> 01:27:10.439
things for my groups and stuff like that. I did

1293
01:27:10.520 --> 01:27:13.439
sign up but wasn't able to go to they had

1294
01:27:13.600 --> 01:27:17.479
yoga with kittens and I missed it and I'm so

1295
01:27:17.720 --> 01:27:24.000
sad about it. But little pussy gags, Oh oh man,

1296
01:27:24.039 --> 01:27:26.760
I'm so sad about that one. But like it's cool

1297
01:27:26.800 --> 01:27:30.319
things like that. It's like, you know, there's this is

1298
01:27:30.319 --> 01:27:32.920
the thing. Like for the longest I said I was

1299
01:27:32.960 --> 01:27:35.279
going to do something, and I did it for out

1300
01:27:35.319 --> 01:27:39.119
of fear, fear wouldn't be successful, fear I wouldn't get

1301
01:27:39.199 --> 01:27:41.680
enough people, fear, blah blah blah. And then I was

1302
01:27:41.680 --> 01:27:43.640
like fuck it, I'm just doing it. I put myself

1303
01:27:43.640 --> 01:27:47.239
out there. I started on next door and then started

1304
01:27:47.319 --> 01:27:51.359
just just putting like would you be interested in a

1305
01:27:51.399 --> 01:27:55.640
group like this basically and on Facebook groups and things

1306
01:27:55.680 --> 01:27:58.199
like that, and I got a response. And once I did,

1307
01:27:58.399 --> 01:28:03.680
I made the group and made it happened, so you know,

1308
01:28:03.880 --> 01:28:06.960
right now it's going to be a slow thing. But

1309
01:28:07.039 --> 01:28:12.600
that's okay because but the point is I'm starting. So

1310
01:28:13.000 --> 01:28:15.840
it seems like if anyone out there is like talking

1311
01:28:16.199 --> 01:28:19.840
for years about something and you're just like, I'm sure,

1312
01:28:20.039 --> 01:28:22.159
just fucking do it. That's all I'm gonna say. It

1313
01:28:22.319 --> 01:28:24.520
was just like, just go for it, just try it.

1314
01:28:24.920 --> 01:28:27.439
The worst that could happen is a no, or it

1315
01:28:27.479 --> 01:28:30.840
doesn't work out. It feels that's okay, you could try

1316
01:28:30.880 --> 01:28:34.520
something else, but I think what I've learned with this

1317
01:28:35.159 --> 01:28:38.760
is just just do it, like you know, just take

1318
01:28:38.880 --> 01:28:41.720
the one little step. It's just one small step. Like

1319
01:28:42.560 --> 01:28:45.840
what I want is bigger, but I'm like, this is

1320
01:28:45.880 --> 01:28:50.439
the small step exactly. I had to start somewhere, so

1321
01:28:50.520 --> 01:28:52.199
it was like, I'll start with just this.

1322
01:28:54.279 --> 01:28:58.560
Yeah, absolutely props T.

1323
01:29:00.800 --> 01:29:03.920
Maybe Waity just start one out on your chees that

1324
01:29:04.159 --> 01:29:10.720
I don't know either the no, but I think, you know,

1325
01:29:10.960 --> 01:29:17.159
there's something special that happens when women come together for

1326
01:29:17.279 --> 01:29:21.319
this sense of a similarity or or a common goal,

1327
01:29:22.159 --> 01:29:28.000
and it's special because like a sisterhood is formed and

1328
01:29:28.800 --> 01:29:32.000
connections are made, and I feel like we need that.

1329
01:29:32.119 --> 01:29:35.119
Like I was lacking that a lot out here, Like

1330
01:29:35.399 --> 01:29:37.960
see could tell you that I'm a very friendly person,

1331
01:29:38.199 --> 01:29:41.319
Like I like going out doing things with people and

1332
01:29:41.359 --> 01:29:44.760
seeing people and spending time with my friends and talking

1333
01:29:44.760 --> 01:29:47.640
to my friends, and like since I moved out here,

1334
01:29:47.680 --> 01:29:51.399
that hasn't been a thing because I don't have anybody

1335
01:29:51.439 --> 01:29:54.960
out here. So I was like one as an adult,

1336
01:29:55.000 --> 01:29:58.960
And we talked about this before. It's difficult making friends

1337
01:30:00.079 --> 01:30:04.800
when you're older, especially, and I think like the way

1338
01:30:04.840 --> 01:30:09.159
to do it is to join groups and organizations and things. Really,

1339
01:30:09.439 --> 01:30:15.039
like I'm also joining Coastmaster International, which is like literally

1340
01:30:15.079 --> 01:30:20.479
an international organization where people go for public speaking and

1341
01:30:20.560 --> 01:30:25.880
leadership stuff. So it's like I'm doing that, and the

1342
01:30:26.000 --> 01:30:31.199
next month, I'm graduating from a legacy Aspire program, a

1343
01:30:31.279 --> 01:30:34.439
leadership program that I did through my job. So like,

1344
01:30:35.800 --> 01:30:39.159
you know, I feel like I tend to think, like

1345
01:30:39.439 --> 01:30:45.239
tend to make things smaller than what they are, and

1346
01:30:45.279 --> 01:30:47.720
then when I say it out loud is when I

1347
01:30:47.800 --> 01:30:51.279
realize how big it actually is. Like just saying all

1348
01:30:51.319 --> 01:30:55.600
these things out loud right now is like holy shit.

1349
01:30:55.840 --> 01:30:58.960
Like I've actually been doing things. I'm trying to get

1350
01:30:59.000 --> 01:31:04.239
involved and trying to like make friendships, make connections, networks,

1351
01:31:04.760 --> 01:31:09.720
all that stuff to get to a place. So yees

1352
01:31:10.439 --> 01:31:11.039
to do it.

1353
01:31:12.840 --> 01:31:16.199
Yeah, just like Nike, just do it, you know, just do.

1354
01:31:16.319 --> 01:31:20.439
It, like even if you don't find anything, like don't

1355
01:31:20.439 --> 01:31:22.760
want to get right, we ain't got rights to any

1356
01:31:22.800 --> 01:31:28.560
of that. Yeah, mouth right, oh man, like we be.

1357
01:31:30.479 --> 01:31:35.039
We can't be giving them credit for nothing. Ship Well

1358
01:31:35.800 --> 01:31:39.119
now if they want to give a speaker, yeah.

1359
01:31:40.199 --> 01:31:50.199
That at least not just free shipping though, I want

1360
01:31:50.199 --> 01:31:50.960
a real coupon.

1361
01:31:53.279 --> 01:31:53.840
Yeah.

1362
01:31:53.920 --> 01:31:57.640
Well, with that being said.

1363
01:31:59.439 --> 01:32:01.399
We answer all the questions stuff.

1364
01:32:02.800 --> 01:32:06.119
Well, it was I came up with this with this

1365
01:32:06.199 --> 01:32:09.119
little this little thing, but there was like a couple

1366
01:32:09.159 --> 01:32:11.199
of like six questions, but then I broke them down

1367
01:32:11.239 --> 01:32:13.319
to four categories. But we didn't have to do that

1368
01:32:13.359 --> 01:32:16.199
because the email that was the email that was sent

1369
01:32:16.279 --> 01:32:17.239
in was enough.

1370
01:32:17.800 --> 01:32:22.840
Yeah. Yeah, that's just through this that we went down.

1371
01:32:24.079 --> 01:32:25.000
Thank you for that.

1372
01:32:25.880 --> 01:32:30.880
Yeah, but want to fucking show man. This is fucking great.

1373
01:32:31.680 --> 01:32:35.520
All right, So what that being said, m hmm, thank

1374
01:32:35.560 --> 01:32:40.359
you for everybody for coming out tonight participating. We appreciate

1375
01:32:40.439 --> 01:32:43.600
you guys, We appreciate the fans of the show. Love

1376
01:32:43.600 --> 01:32:48.079
all y'all, and thank you. Well, we got a heart

1377
01:32:48.159 --> 01:32:52.279
up here. Somebody sent us a hard christ had. Yeah,

1378
01:32:52.520 --> 01:32:58.159
thanks to everybody for coming through. That's Lady G. That's

1379
01:32:58.239 --> 01:33:00.840
T love and I'm big on the own. This is

1380
01:33:00.920 --> 01:33:03.479
this my HERD podcast. We appreciate you, guys, love you,

1381
01:33:03.880 --> 01:33:05.760
and we'll be back real soon. Halfy Halloween.

1382
01:33:06.560 --> 01:33:09.039
Oh yeah, yes, have a great Halloween.

1383
01:33:09.199 --> 01:33:12.680
Yeah, be safe out there. No, no going to hadden Field.

1384
01:33:13.560 --> 01:33:22.000
So I don't want to go to Haddenfield. That's down thereby,

1385
01:33:22.079 --> 01:33:24.800
that's down that way somewhere, that's over here.

1386
01:33:24.960 --> 01:33:26.520
That's actually where you do want to go.

1387
01:33:28.159 --> 01:33:30.199
If you really want, if you want, the.

1388
01:33:30.279 --> 01:33:31.680
Doctors and lawyers.

1389
01:33:31.239 --> 01:33:33.840
Are oh man, go there and then you're probably full

1390
01:33:33.920 --> 01:33:38.000
size candy bars. That's the best. Oh.

1391
01:33:38.039 --> 01:33:59.479
With that being said, at some point, my good night everybody,