Dec. 4, 2025

Pre-Thanksgiving Shenanigans '25 (Recorded LIVE On 11-26-25)

Pre-Thanksgiving Shenanigans '25 (Recorded LIVE On 11-26-25)
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Before the turkey hits the oven and the family drama hits the fan, the This Might Hurt Podcast crew is already causing chaos. Big Corleone, TG Love, Lady G, and Dubs Tha Don pull up with raw energy, unfiltered laughs, and the kind of real talk that’ll have you questioning your holiday traditions. From petty pre-holiday grudges to wild Thanksgiving confessions, nothing is safe, nothing is off-limits, and everything is on the table. Buckle up… because the shenanigans start early and trust us… This. Might. Hurt.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/this-might-hurt-podcast--3239767/support.

WEBVTT

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Years, sen Years says.

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So, what's up everybody? This is Big holdly On hosted

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this My HERD podcast coming to you live from from

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wherever you want us to be live from. You know

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how it is. Let me bring in my lovely co host,

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Lady G. Lady G was good.

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Hey, what's going on? Happy Thanksgiving?

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Happy Thanksgiving? To YouTube? How is your week?

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It was great? It was a short week.

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Yeah right, it's pretty short. So now that the holiday

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season is in full swing, now that I guess everybody's

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out there cooking and preparing for tomorrow, and you know,

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everybody's gonna be with whoever they're gonna be with, So

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blessings everybody out there for the holiday, and you know

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it's it's gonna be a day, a day of football,

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stranger things and who you can't argue with that food, family,

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and football, the three f's, you know what I mean.

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So so let's uh, let's tackle what it is your

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family traditions are for this holiday or matter of fact,

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you know what, let's not even talk about current family traditions.

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What are the traditions you remember growing up that you

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shared with your family? Me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Well.

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For the longest time. We are all used together at

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my aunt's house. She lived on a farm, and we

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would all go over there. You know, but people and

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you know, people in the family start passing away and

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and then you realize they were actually the glue that

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held everything together. So unfortunately, as we lost like my mom,

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my grandparents, those traditions started to dwindle. But that's what

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we did for the longest time. You know, we all

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gathered at my aunt's house together as a family. You know.

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We had the kids table, the adults table. We played

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board games, the guys will watch football.

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Yeah, yeah, that's that's That's pretty much how I remember

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it growing up. You know, we had Thanksgiving at grandma's house.

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You know, everybody would go there. The kids will be

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running around, Grandma still be you know, cooking her food,

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and we'll sit there, we'll eat, you know, the guys

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are watching the football games, kids are running around acting crazy.

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Grandmother's smacking to shatter everybody like chill out, you know.

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But then after she passed away, like you said, you know,

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sometimes family tends to you know, scatter and do their

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own thing. Then once once my mom passed away, it

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was it was like a free for all, everybody just

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ran off, and you know, it's just how it was

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so to me. To me, it's not it's not really

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you know, hello, Heather, how are you Nowadays? It's a

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lot different because you don't have that family unity much anymore.

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Yeah, And I think that's all around the board.

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Yeah, I think it's I think it's just that everybody grows,

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families grow, and you grow apart sometimes, you know, And

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that's the thing that that that really that sucks about

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it because I grew up having and spending these holidays

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with my cousins, you know, and it's it's not like

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that anymore.

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No.

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Yeah, if you grow, your cousins grow, they have their

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own families, they start their own traditions, you know, and

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things just that don't they don't. It's just not the

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same anymore.

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And I think, you know, social media and telephones kind

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of played into that as well, because people don't interact

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the way they used to, and because you know, now

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we're in this cancer culture. You know, when people disagree,

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they don't work things out anymore. They just tend to

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not show up. So people stop talking to each other

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and they and then you know, again because of the

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social media era and the cancel culture. Nowadays, they rarely

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ever get back together.

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Yeah, I think. I think also it has to do,

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like what you said, a lot with with with family drama.

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But the thing is, there's always been family drama. Actually,

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once upon a time, it wasn't a family holiday unless

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someone got into a fight, somebody had an argument, somebody

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said something out of pocket. But it was like you

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dealt with it at the time and you moved on,

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you know. But it's it's not like that anymore. People,

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people you know, get so sensitive they allow it to

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ruin you know, the rest of the year lives. And

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it wasn't always like that. People would get mad, they

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do what they gotta do for a little bit, and

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then they come back together. I was talking to my

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father recently and we were talking about stuff just like that.

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You know, even if you didn't like each other, you

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were always family. You were always made to connect, made

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to be together, even if you weren't getting along at

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the time. You know, you still did it for the

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sake of family, you know, because it's what you do.

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But anymore, it's it's not it's not.

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Yeah, and it's it's it's it's kind of like like

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I remember growing up, Thanksgiving morning, me and a bunch

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of guys get together.

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Go play football, Herkey Bowl football. Can't you know that

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that was a tradition growing up as a kid. We

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go play things Giving Day football at the field. Then

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after that we come home, shower, you know what I'm saying,

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get dressed, and go where we had to go, go

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to where the family we were going to if we

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weren't staying at home and my mom was doing something

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at home. And then after that, after eating, they'd be

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the Godzilla marathon on Channel five, you know, and then

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we're watching Godzilla all damn day. So you know, it's

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it's hard. It's really hard for some people who don't

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have you know, much family left, you know. And then

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to all you people out there listening that that are

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going to be either alone or you know, just don't

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have the family connections that you used to have, you're

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not alone, you know what I'm saying. Just keep in

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mind that, you know, it's not it's not your fault.

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It's you know, people just don't want to get together

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no more. You know.

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Well, I mean I look at even me this well,

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it's been this way as long as I can remember. Now,

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you know, my daughter, I still have to alternate holidays

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with her father, you know, and this year I have

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her for Thanksgiving, but it's it's just me and her.

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You know. I used to have Thanksgiving here at my house,

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but stop, people stop coming. So now you know, I'm

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actually cooking, but I'm cooking for two people. Yeah, so

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there is no family, there is no friends, There's just

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me and her.

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Damn.

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Yeah. But you know, you just have to you have

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to remain happy and enjoy what you have and the time.

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And you know, I'm happy. It's gonna be me and her.

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We're still gonna have you know, our traditional food, and

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and we're gonna be eating it. Yeah, we're gonna be

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freezing it because we're gonna be eating it for a

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long time. But you know, we still you know, this

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is my family now, this is what it consists of.

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And so that's good, you know.

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Yeah, Yeah, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be

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very honest. I'm gonna be very fucking straight up and

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honest here. I'm you know what, I'm spending Thanksgiving with.

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Your dog, my dog, with your daughter, me with mine.

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You know what I'm saying me and Ivy. She's looking

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at me right now, like what are you talking about? Bro?

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But me and I you're gonna be chilling tomorrow. I'm

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I'm I'm gonna cook some food and I'm just gonna,

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you know, do what I do, food, Ivy and football,

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you know what I mean. Yeah, it's it is. It

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is what it is, you know. Like like I like,

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I think about it, and I'm not mad. I'm not upset,

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you know, because, like I said, everybody grows and builds

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that has their family and they build their own traditions.

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So I can't. I can't be upset, you know. But

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you know, yeah, you know, let me see. Heather says

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she will be in Alaska chilling in her truck the

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brass Brass, And I said, I said, Nebraska, right, Alaska, Nebraska.

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She'll be in Nebraska telling her truck. Oh she was

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on she'd be on the road. She's a truck driver ship.

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So yeah, it's it's tough, but you know, it is

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what it is, you know what I mean. So now

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to get off the topic of that, To get off

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that topic, I have an email here from someone and

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I'm gonna let me fold this because the lights are

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going through it, let me fold it up. The don't

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have to flip it when I'm done with that line.

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All right, first email the night. My name is NICKI

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dill Pickle, now just kidding, it's just Nick. I'm forty five.

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I have a question and also need some advice. I'm

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on a dating app and I think I'm fair. I

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think I'm a fairly handsome guy. And every so often

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I get a couple likes. But when I do, I

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like to chat with those that send them, so or

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some reply, but most don't. I don't get why they

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send likes if they're not going to reply. But anyway,

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the ones that do reply I tend to chat with,

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and then some of them fall off and fade for

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some reason. So I started, all right, So I started

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chatting with this woman who seemed to be into me.

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We exchange numbers and continue to text and have some

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phone conversations. We even video chatted once or twice. She

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lives about an hour from me. We seem to be

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getting along, but now I'm noticing a shift. Less texts,

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won't commit to seeing no, won't commit to setting a

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day to meet, and never knows when she has off

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of work. I sent a text yesterday evening and a

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couple of times today and have yet to get a reply.

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First off, I hope she's okay, But you're telling me

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that she hasn't used her phone since yesterday. I'm not

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an idiot. I know that in this age of social media,

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women have their phone in hand often. I think she's

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an attractive woman, and I think we clicked. But now

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I don't know what the deal is. Should I just

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stop texting and move on, or should I try once

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more to reach out. I would like a guy's as

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well as a woman's perspective on this. You guys and

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girls are great, by the way, Thanks Nick. Right, Yeah,

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so off with the woman's perspective, because he's texting a

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woman and she's not applying. What do you think about

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what he said?

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All right? So I can really only speak about my

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experiences and what I think. Again, this day and age,

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we've made things less meaningful, right, So everything is very

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liais a fair very casual. So women have gotten into

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the habit because they often get hurt, you know, in

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these situations. So a lot of women have learned to

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match energies, right, So, and and people are very different

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now than they used to be because there's not that connection.

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So personally, it depends on how the conversation's going. I mean,

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if the conversation you talk every day, but it's Hi,

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how you doing, good morning, what are you up to today?

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After a while, for certain people, that gets old. You know,

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if you guys aren't really having a conversation about anything,

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then that one is a sign. Two, you know, what

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is the energy? You know, because the truth of the

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matter is, men are naturally hunters and gatherers. So whether

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guys these days like it or not, they're really supposed

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to not supposed to, but they're really natural pursuers. You know,

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they see something they like, they're hunting, so they go

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after that, right and and women, you know, are supposed

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to kind of make like meet you there, kind of

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match your energy. So me personally, I'm a little bit

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more old school. You know, we don't talk a whole lot,

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but most of you know that. You know, I'm a

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woman of faith, and so in my way of living,

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I've spent so much time being the person in charge,

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the one making decisions, the one initiating things, that I

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really am trying to get back to basics. So when

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I connect with somebody online. Now, mind you, people are

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liking left and right, and I totally understand, and they're

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doing it based on what people look like. People aren't

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even reading each other's profiles, so they're just swiping left

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and right based on what the person looks like. If

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they're finding attraction to the physical attributes, then they're reaching out,

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you know. So it should be a natural you like me,

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So now I decide either I'm going to like you

230
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back or I'm going to write to you, right, But

231
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it should be a back and forth type of thing.

232
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But also if it's not an engaging conversation for one party,

233
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then that conversation is going to fall off. A good example,

234
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:14.119
I was texting somebody back and forth and then it

235
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was just kind of like every couple days he'd hit

236
00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:19.640
me back. So in my mind, I'm like, okay, so

237
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this is gonna be every couple days type of thing.

238
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It's not even gonna be a daily thing. I guess

239
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whenever he got a chance. So it's like the longer

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you make a woman wait, the less interest it should becomes.

241
00:19:35.160 --> 00:19:38.039
So I got it in my head like, Okay, this

242
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:40.400
is going to be every couple days already I know

243
00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:43.279
that in a relationship that's not what I want. So

244
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I've already made up my mind that even if me

245
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and this guy are friendly or we get along, it's

246
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not going to really be much of anything. It's not

247
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gonna develop into anything, because that's not what I'm looking for.

248
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I'm not looking for me. If somebody can go twenty

249
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four hours without having a conversation with me or hearing

250
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:11.079
my voice or talking, then to me that that makes

251
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me feel like, Okay, well, then you're not really interested.

252
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Because when a man is interested in somebody, they're going

253
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to make sure that they talk on a daily basis

254
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because they want to know what's going on with you,

255
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you know, so they are going to do that pursuing thing.

256
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:31.480
So then finally, after like months of the random conversations,

257
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he finally asks for phone numbers. So I give the

258
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phone number, because I mean, at least now I know

259
00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:40.079
him well enough to know that he's not a danger.

260
00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:44.359
But then what happened. But then what happens on the

261
00:20:44.359 --> 00:20:47.480
phone conversation is every other word that came out of

262
00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:51.279
his mouth was cursing and to me, like and when

263
00:20:51.279 --> 00:20:54.039
we were writing each other, not once did he do that.

264
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But now we're having these conversations and this foul language

265
00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:03.000
is just shooting off everywhere. So for me, it took

266
00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:07.240
me a little bit further away from the possibility because

267
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it's like, that's not something I want in my life.

268
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And I'm a very straightforward type of person, very I

269
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:17.960
don't try to hurt people or do any of that

270
00:21:18.039 --> 00:21:22.039
kind of stuff. But I do let people know if

271
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:25.720
I don't feel like this is something, you know, that

272
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:28.559
I'll move forward or things like that. You know, and

273
00:21:28.599 --> 00:21:30.839
I make it very clear that you know, you seem

274
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:32.640
like a nice person, and I think we can be

275
00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:35.720
good friends, but I don't see this turning into anything

276
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more than just this. And believe it or not, the

277
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:44.079
more people who do that, the less time you're wasting.

278
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:50.519
But again, we have made dating and love and intimacy

279
00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:54.480
and sex. We've made it so casual that now you

280
00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:57.720
can just go to the corner and find all of

281
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those things.

282
00:21:58.799 --> 00:22:01.039
Well, I'm not going to want to look for a sushia,

283
00:22:01.240 --> 00:22:02.039
so I don't do that.

284
00:22:03.240 --> 00:22:06.799
But that's you, that's not that's not a majority of

285
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:09.960
the people. That's not a majority, and and and that's

286
00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:13.000
you know what Corleone that's probably why we are still single,

287
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:15.000
because we.

288
00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:16.559
Don't go to the corner looking for sushias.

289
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:20.720
And because again I was actually talking to somebody about this,

290
00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:26.119
we have a different level of standard, right, So we've

291
00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:32.400
spent so much time learning and getting hurt and learning

292
00:22:32.519 --> 00:22:35.480
lessons and all these things that finally, you know, we

293
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:40.519
start doing this work on ourselves and hopefully, you know,

294
00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:43.400
everybody gets to a point where they realize who they are,

295
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:46.839
what they want, what they don't want. Right. The problem

296
00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:56.000
is even culturally people I can only really speak for

297
00:22:56.079 --> 00:23:01.640
Latino men. You know, in our culture, for so long,

298
00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:05.319
the idea of a partner had nothing to do with love.

299
00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:11.799
It was about not being alone. Not you know, Latin men,

300
00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:16.799
hardly ever do you find them not living with someone,

301
00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:20.720
not in a relationship with somebody, not married to somebody.

302
00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:25.240
Like sometimes men just don't know how to be alone.

303
00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:28.839
And some women too, There are people women too, But

304
00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:32.200
people have got this in their mind that they can't

305
00:23:32.279 --> 00:23:36.839
be by themselves. And so while you're not spending time

306
00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:41.839
with yourself, you're not learning about yourself. You're failing to

307
00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:46.160
be self aware, you're failing to learn your strengths, your

308
00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:49.880
weaknesses and what you actually bring to the table for somebody.

309
00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:52.920
So unless you can take that opportunity to do work

310
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:56.799
on yourself, how can I be good for somebody else

311
00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:00.279
If I don't even know how to be good for myself,

312
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:02.880
If I don't even know myself, how am I going

313
00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:06.319
to be able to tell somebody? You know, this is

314
00:24:06.599 --> 00:24:09.359
these are my expectations, these are my needs, and these

315
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:12.720
are my wants, right, because those are three different things.

316
00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:16.400
If I don't spend that time figuring that out for me,

317
00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:18.119
how am I going to be able to give that

318
00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:21.559
to somebody else? So, you know, I talk a lot

319
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:26.079
about how people always calling me too much, right, And

320
00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:28.759
the truth is, you know what, Actually it was a

321
00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:33.400
conversation I was having with my youngest daughter when I

322
00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:36.279
asked her, I said, am I asking for too much?

323
00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:41.720
And She's like yeah, And then so I had to

324
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:44.359
think about that for a second. I'm like, really, because

325
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:47.680
in my eyes, I'm actually just asking for the bear,

326
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.240
you know, like the she don't seem to think so

327
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:54.799
the basic think so what she don't seem to think

328
00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:58.640
you're asking for a little bit. I don't either. I'm

329
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:03.240
asking for basic, right, I'm asking for basic. But as

330
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:07.039
I was talking to my daughter. She clarified it for me.

331
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.920
She said, no, Mom, I don't think you're asking for

332
00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:14.160
too much. In general. What I think is the people

333
00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:17.079
that you're meeting, or the people that are attracted to you,

334
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:22.759
don't have that capacity. You're asking too much from them

335
00:25:22.839 --> 00:25:25.440
because you're asking for something that they can't give you.

336
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:29.160
So for them, it's too much, she said. But in general, no,

337
00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:33.079
I think you're asking bare minimum. And so I thought

338
00:25:33.079 --> 00:25:36.799
about that and I was like, you know what I am.

339
00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:40.480
So that kind of solidified my thing because I have

340
00:25:40.559 --> 00:25:43.359
a certain standard, right And the funny thing is the

341
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:47.160
more you respect and care for yourself, the less you're

342
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:53.920
gonna put up with other people's junk. The Shenanigans, Yes,

343
00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:57.759
the Shenanigans. You are just not gonna put up with

344
00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:02.079
somebody who values you less than you value yourself.

345
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:04.839
Right, really, really quick, before you continue, I just want

346
00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:10.000
to just say happy Thanksgiving and hi to Amanda, because

347
00:26:10.039 --> 00:26:11.880
she said she hopes you have a great Thanksgiving.

348
00:26:12.279 --> 00:26:13.319
Amanda, you too.

349
00:26:14.039 --> 00:26:17.759
And then Jessica said, hey, big c lady, g what's up?

350
00:26:17.799 --> 00:26:19.880
I waved, say, what's up? How you doing? How you've been?

351
00:26:19.960 --> 00:26:23.240
Everything's cool? And we got one of the message there's

352
00:26:23.240 --> 00:26:26.880
nothing on it, and then this one you're asking the

353
00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:28.599
wrong one for the right things.

354
00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:31.720
Mm hmm, yeah, exactly.

355
00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:34.359
You can go get I'm sorry about that, just one

356
00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:36.200
of the That's okay.

357
00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:39.960
Because see I'm I can't see that little writing, you can.

358
00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:40.799
Yeah.

359
00:26:41.480 --> 00:26:48.599
So yeah, So it's like basic, basic is look at

360
00:26:48.599 --> 00:26:51.920
what you're bringing to the table, right, And and I'm

361
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:55.000
talking basic like before, like a long time ago, we

362
00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:58.160
talked about basic needs. How do you how do you

363
00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:02.319
expect to feel safe and secure when your basic needs

364
00:27:02.359 --> 00:27:07.920
of like sustenance, roof over your head, and safety are

365
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:11.799
not happening. Right, So, if you don't have a safe

366
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:14.319
place to lay your head, if you are not able

367
00:27:14.359 --> 00:27:17.440
to feed yourself every day, if you're lacking the basic

368
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:22.400
needs and necessities, you can't go up to that higher

369
00:27:22.519 --> 00:27:26.319
level of Now let's talk about safety and security. Now

370
00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:29.599
let's talk about self respect. If you don't even have

371
00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:34.400
the basic needs and that, how are you gonna go up? Right? So,

372
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:38.400
for me, the basic is I know what I have

373
00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:41.039
done in my life to get where I am right

374
00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:44.920
and so that needs. So that means at a minimum,

375
00:27:45.319 --> 00:27:49.000
anybody that I'm going to let into my life or

376
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.039
even to approach me to go on a date. One

377
00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:53.960
You do have to have a vehicle, why because I

378
00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:58.839
have one. You have to have a job, Why because

379
00:27:58.920 --> 00:28:02.839
I have one. You have to have a place to live,

380
00:28:05.079 --> 00:28:09.000
Why because I do? Now, the preference is because everybody

381
00:28:09.079 --> 00:28:12.599
has different circumstances, so you can't really judge, you know,

382
00:28:13.240 --> 00:28:16.720
until you know the circumstances. But even as a single

383
00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:20.400
parent who struggles have my head above water. I still

384
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:24.119
have my own home. I'm not living with five six

385
00:28:24.240 --> 00:28:29.799
different people. My mother has been passed away for twenty

386
00:28:29.880 --> 00:28:33.400
something years, so there's no mom, no grandma. There is

387
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:36.720
nobody in my life to live with. So I have

388
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:39.039
to either find a way to make it on my

389
00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:44.160
own or be homeless. Right. So the thing is, people

390
00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:49.599
don't work on themselves just to not have the same

391
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:53.279
thing offered to them, right, So we don't have to

392
00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:56.039
be the same, but we at least have to come

393
00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.119
with the same type of tools, because how do you

394
00:28:59.160 --> 00:29:02.720
actually build on something if you come with no foundation?

395
00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:07.640
Mm hmm you know, so, how can I say, it

396
00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:08.759
was just said one more.

397
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:12.599
Time, how can you build something if both of you

398
00:29:12.680 --> 00:29:13.880
don't come with a foundation.

399
00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:20.400
Right. So, with that being said, what if the foundation

400
00:29:20.839 --> 00:29:22.000
needs to be built together?

401
00:29:23.480 --> 00:29:26.920
But see, well, depending on your age, if you're in

402
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:32.000
your twenties, I can say wholeheartedly yes, but at yours

403
00:29:32.039 --> 00:29:37.240
and my age, cordleone, you have to have your own foundation, right,

404
00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:41.359
we can build something together. But how are we gonna

405
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:45.039
build something together if I'm the only one that comes

406
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:49.160
with a foundation and you're just coming, you know, with

407
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:55.279
sand like that? That doesn't mix, you know, because sand?

408
00:29:56.200 --> 00:29:59.039
I mean, so you can build a foundation with sand.

409
00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:03.240
If not, if mine's made of rock.

410
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:07.279
I get it. I'm just trying to make.

411
00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:11.720
It like yeah, but.

412
00:30:09.519 --> 00:30:13.000
Look at what Courtney says real quick, I think it

413
00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:16.400
goes to what you were saying about energy. No, you

414
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:16.960
can't read it.

415
00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:19.160
I can't read it. It's too so all.

416
00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:21.920
Right, So many people are trying to find the ideal match,

417
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:23.839
but aren't willing to put in the work to match

418
00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:25.559
the energy of the people they are trying to.

419
00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:36.920
Date exactly exactly. People are asking for loyalty, honesty, effort, affection, right,

420
00:30:37.599 --> 00:30:42.400
but they themselves are not willing to give that. They

421
00:30:42.440 --> 00:30:45.440
want all of these things for them, but they're not

422
00:30:45.960 --> 00:30:50.039
putting in the work to actually be that for somebody else.

423
00:30:50.599 --> 00:30:53.319
And that's the thing. When you think about what am

424
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:57.319
I looking for, you also have to ask yourself, do

425
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:01.200
I also provide that? Right? So we're going to go

426
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:04.799
back to the age old. Lately, what's been happening about

427
00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:08.839
men talking about women being in their masculine energy and

428
00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:14.039
you know, more men acting like women, right, because everybody's

429
00:31:14.119 --> 00:31:17.920
trying to one up each other. Right at the end

430
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:20.920
of the day, like I said at the beginning of

431
00:31:20.920 --> 00:31:22.319
this conversation.

432
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:27.279
Will to give what you want to take, and you.

433
00:31:27.319 --> 00:31:30.720
Also and if you're asking for something, you also have

434
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:35.160
to be willing to accept what comes with that. So

435
00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:40.680
how do you want a strong woman? But don't expect

436
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:46.559
her to have a strong character, because what builds strong

437
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:54.400
people is pain, experience. Laws, That's what builds strong people

438
00:31:54.839 --> 00:31:58.720
is failure that they have had to come overcome time

439
00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:03.240
and time again. Because if you never fail, you never grow.

440
00:32:03.839 --> 00:32:07.319
And because people get hurt one time nowadays and then

441
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:09.359
all of a sudden they want to give up forever.

442
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:15.640
They're robbing themselves of the opportunity to find exactly what

443
00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:18.880
it is that is meant for them. And the thing is,

444
00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:26.119
ha ha I hear you, Courtney. Yeah, So it's like,

445
00:32:27.519 --> 00:32:30.599
if I'm asking for certain things from a man, I

446
00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:35.079
also have to be willing to match that. Right. So,

447
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:38.400
like I said, I have a strong character. You know,

448
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:44.200
I've heard time and time again that I am emotionally intense.

449
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:50.160
Now the emotionally intense is more like a passion, right,

450
00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:55.400
because I guess I could be considered a serious person.

451
00:32:56.119 --> 00:33:00.000
But people want to go through life on the surface.

452
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:05.200
They don't want to have the hard conversations because they're uncomfortable,

453
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:07.720
and that's where we go wrong.

454
00:33:08.319 --> 00:33:11.559
Now, what what do the hard conversations usually consist of?

455
00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:19.640
Okay, those hard conversations are how do you spend money? How?

456
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:24.759
What what is your what are your values? How do

457
00:33:24.839 --> 00:33:28.519
you see raising kids? Or if you had at our age,

458
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:33.279
if you have grown kids, what is your view of

459
00:33:33.640 --> 00:33:37.839
how how much you help your grown kids? Because there

460
00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:40.200
are some people who are like, oh, my grown child

461
00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:43.440
can come back home and live with me as long

462
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:46.720
as you know, if they're trying to get their life together, right,

463
00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:50.319
But are you enabling them or are you just helping them? Right?

464
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:53.759
Because how do you how do you expect somebody comes

465
00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:58.599
into your life and you guys, get married, you live together, whatever,

466
00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:02.920
whatever it may be. This person is here with you,

467
00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:09.079
and everything has to be communication. But if you're someone

468
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:14.320
who is always going to allow everybody to move in

469
00:34:14.360 --> 00:34:16.519
with you, how much time are you actually gonna have

470
00:34:16.599 --> 00:34:20.519
with your significant other if all you do is help

471
00:34:20.599 --> 00:34:27.840
everybody else? Right? So, you know, so it's like you

472
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:31.079
got to decide where your things are. But these hard

473
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:35.960
conversations are the conversations about what is your history? You know,

474
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:41.320
like do you come from a background of abuse? Do

475
00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:46.159
you come from a background of need? Do you not

476
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:50.519
that they should be bringing all of those unhealed baggages

477
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:52.840
with them, But all of us come with baggage. All

478
00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:57.039
of us have history, and it's not okay to expect

479
00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:00.320
that somebody is not going to struggle with their past

480
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:03.840
experiences because a lot of us know we carry those

481
00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:07.559
things in us. Now. It's okay to remember them, we

482
00:35:07.719 --> 00:35:10.880
just can't live there. Right. So are you healed from

483
00:35:10.920 --> 00:35:12.320
the things that you've came from?

484
00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:13.159
Right?

485
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:16.360
And if you're healed, it doesn't change that these things

486
00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:19.760
were still your experiences. But you want to have a

487
00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:24.199
partner who's going to understand that and do the best

488
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:27.039
they can. They can't solve it for you, They can't

489
00:35:27.079 --> 00:35:29.760
heal it for you. You have to heal it yourself,

490
00:35:30.039 --> 00:35:33.880
but they can support you while you're doing that, right,

491
00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:37.039
But we don't do that. We do this trauma bonding thing.

492
00:35:37.159 --> 00:35:39.000
So it's like, oh, well, they know what I went

493
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:42.400
through and they kind of went through the same thing. Yes,

494
00:35:42.519 --> 00:35:45.360
but you might be healed and they're not. So what's

495
00:35:45.400 --> 00:35:48.599
gonna end up happening is that person's going to drag

496
00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:52.159
you back to your past and start triggering you all

497
00:35:52.199 --> 00:35:57.880
the time, and then it just becomes this toxic, you know,

498
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:02.119
back and forth type of relationship. You or I, or

499
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:04.960
if you're lucky, you'll rub off on them with the

500
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:08.159
healing and they'll want and try to get better. If

501
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:11.239
you're lucky, Yeah, if you're lucky in a perfect world

502
00:36:11.320 --> 00:36:14.119
that we don't live in, you know that, then that's

503
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:16.920
what's going to happen. But I think that's why people

504
00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:19.400
see me as too much. And I'm okay with that

505
00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:23.880
because I've done the work on myself. By no means

506
00:36:23.880 --> 00:36:27.800
am I perfect, not at all. I'm far from it.

507
00:36:28.920 --> 00:36:32.760
But I am open to learning new things. I am

508
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:36.199
open to hearing other people's point of view. I'm open

509
00:36:36.239 --> 00:36:39.840
to criticism. Right, it's got to be constructive. So don't

510
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:42.199
just come at don't just come at me with the problem,

511
00:36:42.559 --> 00:36:46.280
but let's come up with a solution or offer me

512
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:50.599
a solution. Right. So I'm always open to hearing, always,

513
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:53.920
and I'm open to hearing how what I'm doing or

514
00:36:53.960 --> 00:36:58.880
saying affects other people because I can respect other people's feelings.

515
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:04.599
I can agree to disa But we've stopped everybody's about

516
00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:07.559
themselves now, right, So it's like, well, if it doesn't

517
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:11.760
match me, then I don't want it. Right. So, like

518
00:37:12.679 --> 00:37:17.440
our listeners said, we stopped trying to do the work

519
00:37:17.480 --> 00:37:22.039
that it takes because no relationship is perfect and anything

520
00:37:22.119 --> 00:37:26.519
worth having requires work to achieve it and to maintain it.

521
00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:30.079
Courtney said, if you're if you're too much, and they

522
00:37:30.119 --> 00:37:31.800
can go find less.

523
00:37:32.199 --> 00:37:34.760
I said that. I said that, Yeah, I said that

524
00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:37.199
a while ago, because when they do tell me that,

525
00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:39.440
I'm like, you know what, I and I say that

526
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:41.360
I have too much. So you can go ahead and

527
00:37:41.400 --> 00:37:50.320
find less for yourself because I have hurt, healed, hurt healed,

528
00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:55.320
come through it all, you know. And again, my faith

529
00:37:55.480 --> 00:37:59.719
is what helps me to continue to be the strong

530
00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:07.239
woman and that I am. So I refuse, I refuse

531
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:11.199
especially because I'm only asking for bare minimum to begin with,

532
00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:19.519
and the bare minimum is honesty, respect, transparency, you know,

533
00:38:19.800 --> 00:38:26.280
just just the basic what the basic standards people should have, Like,

534
00:38:26.519 --> 00:38:29.639
I'm not going to just sit around and keep accepting

535
00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:32.159
the fact that you're not a person of your words,

536
00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:35.480
you know. Like again, I used to think I was

537
00:38:35.519 --> 00:38:39.400
the problem until I realized no, I just did the healing,

538
00:38:39.559 --> 00:38:43.280
and those people are not healed yet. They're not ready yet.

539
00:38:43.719 --> 00:38:46.840
They want everybody wants the side piece, they want the

540
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:50.039
easy thing. Well, I don't want what's easy because I

541
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:53.599
want something that lasts. So that means I'm going to

542
00:38:53.679 --> 00:38:57.519
take my time. I'm going to put in the work

543
00:38:57.559 --> 00:39:01.360
that's necessary. I'm gonna hope that they want the same thing,

544
00:39:01.679 --> 00:39:04.880
and I'm gonna be patient because the truth is I

545
00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:09.400
can do bad all by myself. So if I don't

546
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:13.039
take my time, if I don't get to know somebody first,

547
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:16.440
rushing into it is not gonna help me. It's not

548
00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:18.599
gonna help them, and it might put me in a

549
00:39:18.639 --> 00:39:22.719
worse situation. People are not being smart just because they're lonely,

550
00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:27.880
you know, and loneliness motivates people to get themselves into

551
00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:33.440
these situationships, and honestly, to me, it's not worth it.

552
00:39:33.440 --> 00:39:38.119
It's not worth it. You know, I was married sixteen

553
00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:45.719
years emotionally, physically, I'd say even financially, other than the

554
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:49.920
fact that I don't have the other income, I'm doing

555
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:53.599
better on my own than I ever did when I

556
00:39:53.639 --> 00:39:59.039
was married, and and I have one third the money

557
00:39:59.079 --> 00:40:05.440
I had when I was made. It's about what I'm

558
00:40:05.599 --> 00:40:11.119
doing to help build myself, to help myself be worthy

559
00:40:11.280 --> 00:40:13.079
of somebody that I want in my life.

560
00:40:13.960 --> 00:40:16.039
Courtney says, it gets hard being patient.

561
00:40:16.719 --> 00:40:20.440
Oh, I know, it's so. It's been six years for me, Courtney,

562
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:25.360
six years I've been on my own, and it not

563
00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:29.880
one day has been easy. So I truly understand. I understand.

564
00:40:30.039 --> 00:40:35.960
But again, as lonely as it is right, lonely passes

565
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:43.440
chaos and trauma, don't I would rather be lonely and

566
00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:49.079
happy and at peace than to be constantly fighting with

567
00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:55.719
someone feel like I'm less than struggle taking care of

568
00:40:55.800 --> 00:40:59.599
somebody else that's supposed to want to be taken care

569
00:40:59.599 --> 00:41:03.760
of me. So you know, in reality, I don't need

570
00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:08.599
anyone to take care of me. But as a woman,

571
00:41:08.920 --> 00:41:12.400
as the woman that I am, I want somebody who

572
00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:16.199
wants to take care of me. There are just these

573
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:21.559
natural ways that men and women are and we need

574
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:24.800
to get back to those basics. I'm not talking about

575
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:31.320
gender roles or any of that. Again. Men are solution

576
00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:36.000
focused hunters and gatherers. They go after what they want

577
00:41:36.039 --> 00:41:39.079
and I have seen that proven time and time again.

578
00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:46.079
Women are nurturers. Women are detail oriented. We need to

579
00:41:46.119 --> 00:41:50.280
know when, where, why, and how of things. We need

580
00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:54.559
to have the details. We need to you know, have explanations.

581
00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:58.119
You know. Not every woman's like that, but we're the nurturers.

582
00:41:58.679 --> 00:42:02.519
You give us something, multiply it. The man brings home

583
00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:05.679
the money, we use it to.

584
00:42:06.239 --> 00:42:08.000
Go do your nails and toe.

585
00:42:08.039 --> 00:42:12.000
And no, no, no, no, no, no not no. I'm

586
00:42:12.039 --> 00:42:14.960
just I hope you're just playing, because that would be

587
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:16.119
a very you know.

588
00:42:16.880 --> 00:42:18.599
Yah, I'm just goofing. I know, I know what, I

589
00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:19.360
know what's going on.

590
00:42:19.880 --> 00:42:21.920
Yeah, that should be the extra that should be You

591
00:42:22.039 --> 00:42:24.039
do that because you want to do.

592
00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:27.679
That for her, right, you wouldn't have you wouldn't have

593
00:42:27.719 --> 00:42:30.239
to go to a uh nail salon. I do that

594
00:42:30.639 --> 00:42:31.880
in the crib all by myself.

595
00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:38.400
Yeah, okay, I don't think so. No, but It's like

596
00:42:38.920 --> 00:42:43.800
you love a woman, she multiplies that love. You know,

597
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:47.880
you you you provide the woman in a house, she

598
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:52.199
makes it a home. You give her love, she turns

599
00:42:52.239 --> 00:42:57.159
it into you know, nurturing and caring. You you bring

600
00:42:57.239 --> 00:43:01.159
home the money and and and the woman go shopping

601
00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:06.159
and brings food, right, bring you bring food, she makes

602
00:43:06.199 --> 00:43:09.159
a meal. You know, like, these are not the expectations.

603
00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:12.320
These are just naturally what women do. And when a

604
00:43:12.360 --> 00:43:19.760
woman feels safe, secure, love intimacy other than just physical sex,

605
00:43:21.280 --> 00:43:25.639
you would be surprised at how open she becomes, how

606
00:43:25.840 --> 00:43:31.280
loving and accepting and caring she can be. But when

607
00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:36.960
we're constantly having to do for ourselves, pay our own bills,

608
00:43:37.159 --> 00:43:40.599
get our own nails done, get our own hair done,

609
00:43:41.639 --> 00:43:45.320
cut our own grass, clean our own house, like, do

610
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:50.519
all these things, then what do we need the guy

611
00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:53.960
for if he's not willing to do any of these things?

612
00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:55.519
You're right?

613
00:43:56.159 --> 00:43:58.880
Is she a dude? A dude like me? Like I

614
00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:02.480
love doing in the laundry, I love cooking, I love cleaning,

615
00:44:03.079 --> 00:44:05.199
I love doing all that shit, all.

616
00:44:05.239 --> 00:44:08.880
Right, and a woman like me, I love to cook,

617
00:44:10.119 --> 00:44:13.639
But I'm not big on laundry and cleaning. I mean,

618
00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:15.639
but they're not.

619
00:44:15.760 --> 00:44:19.079
They're effort, team effort.

620
00:44:19.119 --> 00:44:22.320
They're not my strengths. And that's the way it should be.

621
00:44:22.360 --> 00:44:24.760
A team effort. It shouldn't be well, you have to

622
00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:28.400
cook and you have to clean, and you know, find

623
00:44:28.400 --> 00:44:33.920
out what each other's strengths and weaknesses are because you

624
00:44:33.960 --> 00:44:39.880
know what. Certain people have certain expectations, and when you

625
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.440
come in with expectations, you may lose out on the

626
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:45.280
best things.

627
00:44:46.360 --> 00:44:48.639
Courtney said he knows how to treat a lady.

628
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:52.519
I don't know about that.

629
00:44:53.199 --> 00:44:56.159
And this one says, misery does company, and that's not

630
00:44:56.280 --> 00:44:58.239
the company I'm willing to keep around them.

631
00:44:59.679 --> 00:45:02.840
Again, if I want to be miserable, I can do

632
00:45:02.920 --> 00:45:05.639
that sitting right here on my couch all by myself.

633
00:45:05.800 --> 00:45:08.559
I don't need nobody else taking up my space, eating

634
00:45:08.599 --> 00:45:12.920
my food, sleeping in my bed, or causing me drama.

635
00:45:14.760 --> 00:45:18.320
I do what I want, go where I want. You know,

636
00:45:18.800 --> 00:45:20.760
if I don't want to come home, I don't have to.

637
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:26.000
Those are things I would love to do, you know.

638
00:45:26.159 --> 00:45:30.079
I do want to share my life with someone, but

639
00:45:30.199 --> 00:45:39.880
I'm not willing to sacrifice my feeling of safety, security, peace, calm,

640
00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:45.119
you know, like I'm not willing to sacrifice that anymore.

641
00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:48.079
And unfortunately it took a long time. It took my

642
00:45:48.199 --> 00:45:52.000
late forties to finally get to that place to realize, like,

643
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:56.679
being alone does not feel half as bad as it

644
00:45:56.719 --> 00:46:01.719
does being in a relationship where you feel alone, or

645
00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:07.920
being in a relationship where you feel unloved or unimportant.

646
00:46:08.480 --> 00:46:10.880
You know, because people will tell you whatever they want

647
00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:13.639
to get what they need. But when you stop giving

648
00:46:13.679 --> 00:46:17.880
them what they want and start, you know, standing on

649
00:46:18.280 --> 00:46:24.079
the boundaries, start standing matching that energy, you'd be surprised

650
00:46:24.119 --> 00:46:26.519
how many people take themselves right out of your life,

651
00:46:26.800 --> 00:46:27.119
this out.

652
00:46:27.239 --> 00:46:31.280
I do what I want with restrictions, respectable restrictions.

653
00:46:31.519 --> 00:46:33.800
Oh yes, oh yeah, well that's why people call me

654
00:46:33.840 --> 00:46:38.320
a prude, because they're like, oh, well, why don't you

655
00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:40.519
send me this pick? Oh no, no, no, no, we

656
00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:46.400
will not be doing that, because, yeah, because you have

657
00:46:46.480 --> 00:46:48.559
to have self respect at the end of the day.

658
00:46:50.079 --> 00:46:53.559
And and you know what, my father asked me not

659
00:46:53.679 --> 00:46:57.440
too long ago, what that looked like, right, And so

660
00:46:57.559 --> 00:47:03.960
I plainly said to him, if you're doing anything in

661
00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:09.599
your life that you would want to hide from anybody else,

662
00:47:09.719 --> 00:47:13.360
like even public total strangers, then you might want to

663
00:47:13.400 --> 00:47:17.559
think twice about doing that. Then cause I think I

664
00:47:17.599 --> 00:47:19.760
had shared a story where we went to a store

665
00:47:20.159 --> 00:47:23.440
one night and I had taken him out for Father's Day.

666
00:47:23.480 --> 00:47:26.840
He had four glasses of wine while we were out,

667
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:31.480
but then we went to the supermarket and he saw

668
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:35.280
a pretty girl at the cash register, and so I

669
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:39.880
guess to seem like he was romantic and whatnot, he,

670
00:47:40.199 --> 00:47:42.440
you know, out loud, said to me, Hey, Trish, why

671
00:47:42.440 --> 00:47:44.719
don't we go to the liquor store and bottle buy

672
00:47:44.760 --> 00:47:47.800
a bottle of wine. Now, me, just being a daughter,

673
00:47:48.039 --> 00:47:51.199
I turned around and was like, what pop you just had?

674
00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:53.800
You just had four glasses of wine. And then he

675
00:47:53.880 --> 00:47:57.239
gave me this look like he was about to kill me.

676
00:47:57.960 --> 00:48:01.000
And as soon as he said that, it like, just

677
00:48:01.119 --> 00:48:03.360
like that, it dawned on me what he was saying.

678
00:48:05.320 --> 00:48:08.760
He was trying to make it look like he hadn't

679
00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:12.519
had anything to drink, and the fact that I looked

680
00:48:12.559 --> 00:48:14.639
at him and was like, dude, you just have four

681
00:48:14.719 --> 00:48:19.960
glasses of wine embarrassed him because then this pretty girl

682
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:22.719
would know that he's already had four glasses of wine,

683
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:25.159
and now he's talking about getting a bottle of wine.

684
00:48:25.559 --> 00:48:28.039
So it makes him look like he's a lush or

685
00:48:28.079 --> 00:48:31.119
an alcoholic. Right, So when he says something to me

686
00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:34.760
outside the store and I said, Pop, you are a

687
00:48:34.880 --> 00:48:38.679
grown man. If you want to have six glasses of wine,

688
00:48:38.960 --> 00:48:43.599
six bottles of wine, that's your prerogative. But I tell

689
00:48:43.639 --> 00:48:49.159
you this, if you drinking four glasses of wine causes

690
00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:54.679
you embarrassment, if somebody else knew that, then maybe you

691
00:48:54.800 --> 00:48:59.119
need to think about how much wine you drink. And

692
00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:02.440
can't seem to wrap their head around that. Because I

693
00:49:02.519 --> 00:49:08.239
tell people I practice what I preach. Right, There's nothing

694
00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:12.159
in my life that I do, you know, talking about

695
00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:14.960
the self respect part, there is nothing in my life

696
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:18.840
that I do that I would be ashamed or embarrassed

697
00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:24.480
if somebody else knew. Because I live my life the

698
00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:28.440
way I want people to see me, the way you know,

699
00:49:28.840 --> 00:49:31.079
I want people to trust me. I want people to

700
00:49:31.119 --> 00:49:36.880
believe me. So I live a trustworthy, believable life. So

701
00:49:36.920 --> 00:49:39.000
it's like, if you want something, you need to be

702
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:41.079
putting that out into the world. You need to be

703
00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:44.679
that person, right, you know. And as a LEO, I

704
00:49:44.719 --> 00:49:48.679
can't stand fake. I can't I feel these fake vibes

705
00:49:48.719 --> 00:49:51.320
from people, and I'm like, I'd rather you not speak

706
00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:55.840
to me than to smile at me in my face

707
00:49:57.559 --> 00:50:02.079
and not really feel that way. I see people are

708
00:50:02.119 --> 00:50:03.440
saying stuff. What are they saying?

709
00:50:03.760 --> 00:50:06.039
Ye do I'm I'll tell you right now. This one

710
00:50:06.079 --> 00:50:09.480
says free will is a thing. I can be out

711
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:12.280
there slinging d like cracking the eighties, but for what

712
00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:15.079
been there done that once upon a time. It was

713
00:50:15.159 --> 00:50:18.320
easy and fun during the toxic phase. But it's energy.

714
00:50:18.920 --> 00:50:22.480
I'm not swapping soul ties no more. Yeah, that's that

715
00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:24.079
that lingers with you after a.

716
00:50:26.360 --> 00:50:26.519
Man.

717
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:33.480
And then it says STDs are real besides the sexual

718
00:50:33.559 --> 00:50:36.039
part of the spiritual transmitted disease.

719
00:50:39.480 --> 00:50:43.000
Yeah, but people don't want to think about those things

720
00:50:43.039 --> 00:50:46.199
in the moment. The flesh is weak. When you've been

721
00:50:46.360 --> 00:50:49.000
alone for a long time and somebody starts showing you

722
00:50:49.119 --> 00:50:54.280
attention and starts, you know, saying sweet nothings, You know

723
00:50:54.559 --> 00:50:58.320
that that can definitely cause someone to want to give in.

724
00:50:59.440 --> 00:51:02.320
The funny thing is I'm the total opposite. If I

725
00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:05.840
just met you and you're love bombing me like how

726
00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:10.519
beautiful I am, how nice I am, how caring I am.

727
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:14.920
That's a reflect for me because that's not naturally how

728
00:51:15.480 --> 00:51:20.000
good things start. You know, I'm not gonna say I'm

729
00:51:20.039 --> 00:51:23.199
not gonna say what culture, but there's a certain culture

730
00:51:23.239 --> 00:51:25.079
that it's like as soon as you meet them, they're

731
00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:28.840
calling you song.

732
00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:36.880
You already put it out there just by saying in Spanish.

733
00:51:35.880 --> 00:51:40.400
No I didn't. Hey, if you know you know, yeah,

734
00:51:40.440 --> 00:51:45.039
if you know you know. So it's like, as soon

735
00:51:45.079 --> 00:51:48.840
as they start talking that stuff, I look at them like,

736
00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:53.800
already I've cut you off. Because there is no way

737
00:51:53.920 --> 00:51:58.679
in God's green earth that you just met me maybe

738
00:51:58.719 --> 00:52:01.599
a week, right, and all of a sudden you're telling

739
00:52:01.639 --> 00:52:05.679
me that I'm what you've been looking for. That's BS,

740
00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:12.239
That is absolute BS, because there are those hard conversations

741
00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:15.599
that we haven't even had yet. Let me tell you something.

742
00:52:15.639 --> 00:52:20.199
You could look, you could be banging, you could be

743
00:52:20.280 --> 00:52:23.719
smoking hot, you could drive the right car, have the

744
00:52:23.840 --> 00:52:27.960
right job, know what to say by this by you

745
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:37.400
can do all of those things. But if you don't

746
00:52:37.599 --> 00:52:47.760
meet my deeper needs, yes, exactly, exactly you know, and

747
00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:49.599
and so you have to know what you value. Like

748
00:52:49.679 --> 00:52:54.480
for me, you know, my first thing, my first, my

749
00:52:54.639 --> 00:53:05.159
foundation thing is if you don't have a relationship with God.

750
00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:09.800
For me, that like that's the minimum. For me, that's

751
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:12.079
the bare minimum.

752
00:53:12.079 --> 00:53:14.920
But to you what's your relationship with God? Though? I

753
00:53:14.920 --> 00:53:16.760
mean everybody, everybody if not.

754
00:53:16.840 --> 00:53:19.119
That, but that's what I'm saying. Hear what I said.

755
00:53:19.159 --> 00:53:25.559
I said a relationship, not not knowing he exists, not

756
00:53:25.800 --> 00:53:32.039
just believing in him, Like you have to actively have

757
00:53:32.360 --> 00:53:35.280
like walk with him every day, Like you have to

758
00:53:35.360 --> 00:53:40.920
be pursuing and living a life of respect, not just

759
00:53:41.000 --> 00:53:46.599
for yourself but for others of kindness and like not

760
00:53:46.679 --> 00:53:51.840
just going out there hurting people on purpose. You can't

761
00:53:51.880 --> 00:53:54.559
be just breaking the law all over the place. I mean,

762
00:53:54.599 --> 00:53:58.360
there are there are those things. I'm a rule follower,

763
00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:01.320
so it's like I won't break the rules. I might

764
00:54:01.400 --> 00:54:05.760
bend them a little bit, because we're human, we bend rules.

765
00:54:06.199 --> 00:54:08.920
But no, I'm not breaking the rules. Like I'm not

766
00:54:09.199 --> 00:54:13.679
gonna just absolutely go out there and start stealing things

767
00:54:13.719 --> 00:54:21.400
just because I see it. And yes, did somebody say that?

768
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:21.960
Ye?

769
00:54:22.920 --> 00:54:23.599
Who said that?

770
00:54:25.280 --> 00:54:28.440
Mister Sanchez says and reading the word.

771
00:54:28.639 --> 00:54:33.360
Amen, mister Sanchez. You know, like, and there are a

772
00:54:33.400 --> 00:54:36.719
lot of people, And again I don't knock anybody's faith.

773
00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:44.519
I don't knock anybody's level of relationship, Okay, because everybody

774
00:54:44.599 --> 00:54:47.840
is at a different point in their relationship, in their

775
00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:52.880
walk in their life. Right. But it's one thing to

776
00:54:52.920 --> 00:54:57.440
say I believe in God, I believe he exists, and

777
00:54:57.480 --> 00:55:05.840
something else to understand that sex before marriage is looked

778
00:55:05.920 --> 00:55:13.119
down on. Right. So it's like, like you said, reading

779
00:55:13.119 --> 00:55:16.320
your word, How are you going to be close to

780
00:55:16.360 --> 00:55:20.639
somebody if you're not reading the word that leads you

781
00:55:20.679 --> 00:55:24.559
to them? Right? So for me, like I said, my

782
00:55:24.719 --> 00:55:29.639
absolute minimum minimum is you you at least have to

783
00:55:29.880 --> 00:55:33.639
want to have a relationship with him, not not like

784
00:55:33.679 --> 00:55:36.559
I said, not just believe and not just know that

785
00:55:36.599 --> 00:55:40.440
he exists. Because I think everybody in the world knows

786
00:55:41.199 --> 00:55:47.320
or believes in something right right, right? Absolutely, Yeah, Like

787
00:55:47.400 --> 00:55:50.639
we grow up, we grow up. We are all taught

788
00:55:51.119 --> 00:55:54.679
at some point in our life to believe in God,

789
00:55:54.800 --> 00:55:58.000
to pray to God. You know, but what does that mean?

790
00:55:59.039 --> 00:56:01.320
You know, like, what what does that really mean to you?

791
00:56:02.679 --> 00:56:05.039
You know? I know people who say they believe in God.

792
00:56:05.079 --> 00:56:08.000
But I but you this, if they walked into a church,

793
00:56:08.079 --> 00:56:15.320
they go up in flames. Yeah, you know, so again,

794
00:56:15.559 --> 00:56:17.400
nobody has to They don't have to be on my

795
00:56:17.599 --> 00:56:20.760
level and believe me, I don't like fanatical people either,

796
00:56:21.079 --> 00:56:22.800
you know, where it's like you can't even have a

797
00:56:22.840 --> 00:56:29.280
conversation with them without them pointing out every little thing

798
00:56:29.320 --> 00:56:32.679
about what you're doing wrong. But you have to want

799
00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:39.639
to be living a certain path, you know, so you know,

800
00:56:39.679 --> 00:56:41.480
and I know we don't do religion on here. So

801
00:56:41.480 --> 00:56:43.639
it's like I don't want to, you know, go too

802
00:56:43.719 --> 00:56:46.480
too far into that. But for me, that's the bare minimum.

803
00:56:46.960 --> 00:56:49.079
So like I said, you could look hot as I

804
00:56:49.079 --> 00:56:52.519
don't know what. You can have everything physically that I want.

805
00:56:52.719 --> 00:56:55.920
You can have a great job, great car, but if

806
00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:59.880
you do not have that relationship, I have to pass

807
00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:05.239
you buy because that's something important for me, that that's

808
00:57:05.280 --> 00:57:09.159
something that has held me together my whole life, you know.

809
00:57:09.320 --> 00:57:12.599
And like I said, the other things are what is

810
00:57:13.039 --> 00:57:18.079
your life situation? Because truly you know, and you tell me, Corleon,

811
00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:24.079
if you're in your mid forties, early fifties and you

812
00:57:24.159 --> 00:57:29.199
are still on the struggle bus, do you really think

813
00:57:29.239 --> 00:57:32.800
that that's gonna change?

814
00:57:33.119 --> 00:57:34.199
No?

815
00:57:34.199 --> 00:57:38.960
No, that is that is your trajectory. Again. You ain't

816
00:57:39.199 --> 00:57:41.519
you ain't gotta be rich, You ain't gotta you know,

817
00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:44.840
own five six car, none of that stuff. But it's

818
00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:50.480
like it's one like, okay, so my head's above water.

819
00:57:52.320 --> 00:57:56.400
That doesn't mean I don't struggle, right, you know, I

820
00:57:56.440 --> 00:58:01.719
think most of us are in that head above water.

821
00:58:02.239 --> 00:58:05.360
But but but but then think sometimes I think of

822
00:58:05.400 --> 00:58:06.559
it like I look at it like I look at

823
00:58:06.599 --> 00:58:11.280
it this way, right, Like no, some people feel like

824
00:58:11.920 --> 00:58:14.000
by the time you get into you to this age,

825
00:58:14.239 --> 00:58:16.840
to our age, you know, the salt and pepper age,

826
00:58:16.880 --> 00:58:20.400
you know what I mean. Yeah, you should have your

827
00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:21.599
shit together right.

828
00:58:22.199 --> 00:58:26.519
You should have it at least.

829
00:58:26.679 --> 00:58:30.119
Right right right, because.

830
00:58:30.079 --> 00:58:32.360
Look at you, Corneon, and you've talked about it a

831
00:58:32.400 --> 00:58:34.400
lot of times. You know, you were in this long

832
00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:42.719
time relationship. Yes, people have setbacks, they have struggles, and

833
00:58:42.719 --> 00:58:46.280
and you talk about struggling sometimes in different ways, you know,

834
00:58:47.199 --> 00:58:50.119
but you, for the most part, you still have your

835
00:58:50.159 --> 00:58:54.400
stuff together. You got your you got your little girl dog,

836
00:58:54.719 --> 00:58:58.400
you got your kids, your grandkids, You've got a place

837
00:58:58.480 --> 00:59:03.000
to live. You know, you work. You know, you do

838
00:59:04.280 --> 00:59:07.800
the best that you know how. You're not coming broken

839
00:59:08.519 --> 00:59:13.840
and homeless and sleeping on people's couches because, you know what,

840
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.960
not for nothing. And I'm not saying this disrespectfully, but

841
00:59:17.039 --> 00:59:20.480
at the same time, i am if you are fifty

842
00:59:20.559 --> 00:59:24.199
years old and you are still CouchSurfing, you're not for me.

843
00:59:24.400 --> 00:59:30.119
I'm sorry, because that shows me that you want no consistency,

844
00:59:30.320 --> 00:59:34.639
no security, you know. Like, and I talked about this

845
00:59:34.679 --> 00:59:38.320
before too. My father who just recently last couple of

846
00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:42.480
years came back into my life. It's seventy eight years old,

847
00:59:42.800 --> 00:59:46.960
and this is the first time in the man's life

848
00:59:47.079 --> 00:59:56.280
that he has ever lived by himself. And I I

849
00:59:56.519 --> 01:00:03.280
find that hard hard to cope with as a daughter,

850
01:00:04.599 --> 01:00:07.400
you know. And the only reason he's even doing as

851
01:00:07.400 --> 01:00:12.880
well as he's doing is because I'm making sure that

852
01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:17.159
his bills are paid, that he has food in his refrigerator,

853
01:00:18.119 --> 01:00:25.360
that his apartment is halfway decent. You know. I'm actually

854
01:00:25.360 --> 01:00:31.840
getting him an apartment, you know, Like, I can't imagine

855
01:00:32.159 --> 01:00:34.440
what his life. He would probably still be sleeping on

856
01:00:34.480 --> 01:00:39.119
his mother's couch or in his car, and that makes

857
01:00:39.159 --> 01:00:45.079
me sad that and again this speaks to my faith.

858
01:00:46.559 --> 01:00:51.800
I have every reason, every reason under God's heaven to

859
01:00:51.920 --> 01:00:56.159
not speak to the man who allowed me to be

860
01:00:56.239 --> 01:01:02.760
on this earth. But I do because the person that

861
01:01:02.840 --> 01:01:06.960
I believe in talks about love and forgiveness. And at

862
01:01:07.000 --> 01:01:09.360
the end of the day, out of the seven kids,

863
01:01:09.440 --> 01:01:13.039
I am my father's only daughter, and I feel that

864
01:01:13.840 --> 01:01:16.639
because my mother's been going for twenty something years. It

865
01:01:16.800 --> 01:01:20.360
is my responsibility to take care of my father. He's

866
01:01:20.400 --> 01:01:24.599
making it hard because he won't leave Florida to come

867
01:01:24.639 --> 01:01:28.079
to New Jersey. But I'm making it work, right, I'm

868
01:01:28.079 --> 01:01:31.719
making it work. Every three months, I travel to Florida,

869
01:01:32.239 --> 01:01:35.119
make sure he's got food in his freezer, that I

870
01:01:35.159 --> 01:01:38.199
have meals prepared for him, that his apartment is clean,

871
01:01:38.360 --> 01:01:42.840
that all of his electronics are charged, that his TV

872
01:01:43.199 --> 01:01:50.159
is still logged into his streaming. You know, but that's

873
01:01:50.199 --> 01:01:53.159
what work is. When you love people. Love is not

874
01:01:53.239 --> 01:01:57.800
a feeling. Love is an action, and we stop. We

875
01:01:57.960 --> 01:02:04.559
stopped loving people, We stop doing for others because we

876
01:02:04.639 --> 01:02:09.480
were worried so much about ourselves. It makes me happy

877
01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:13.719
to be there from my father. Does he deserve it,

878
01:02:13.719 --> 01:02:16.239
It doesn't really matter if he does or not. It's

879
01:02:16.280 --> 01:02:19.719
who I am. It's who I want to be, and

880
01:02:19.800 --> 01:02:22.079
I wouldn't want to be any other way. Have people

881
01:02:22.119 --> 01:02:25.800
hurt me, Heck yes, but that's a part of life.

882
01:02:25.960 --> 01:02:28.880
I don't learn any lessons if nobody ever slaps me

883
01:02:28.920 --> 01:02:32.079
in the face, right, you know, if I never fail,

884
01:02:32.199 --> 01:02:36.480
I never grow. I'm not ashamed to say that I've

885
01:02:36.480 --> 01:02:39.760
made many, many mistakes in my life. But I don't

886
01:02:39.800 --> 01:02:42.119
regret not one of them, and I would not change

887
01:02:42.199 --> 01:02:44.559
one thing in my life because if I did, I

888
01:02:44.599 --> 01:02:48.559
would not be La doc Tora. I would be somebody

889
01:02:48.679 --> 01:02:53.440
totally totally different, and I may not like who I am.

890
01:02:53.880 --> 01:03:00.920
So some people mistake my kindness for weakness, and that's

891
01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:03.280
their mistake because let me tell you, I'd rather be

892
01:03:03.400 --> 01:03:08.280
the loving woman that I am then the bitter women

893
01:03:08.920 --> 01:03:13.639
that are out there now. Am I tired? Yes? But

894
01:03:15.639 --> 01:03:19.000
I have to know this. If people like me exist,

895
01:03:20.559 --> 01:03:24.079
if I exist, then others like me have to exist.

896
01:03:24.760 --> 01:03:30.199
People who value things have to exist. But how can

897
01:03:30.239 --> 01:03:33.719
I preach if I don't practice what I preach?

898
01:03:34.719 --> 01:03:34.960
Right?

899
01:03:35.559 --> 01:03:38.039
You know? And everything that I say on the show

900
01:03:38.760 --> 01:03:41.199
is because that's how I live my life. It's what

901
01:03:41.280 --> 01:03:43.599
I believe, you know.

902
01:03:44.519 --> 01:03:50.440
Yeah, absolutely, So.

903
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:53.400
You got to be true to yourself before you try

904
01:03:53.480 --> 01:03:59.480
lying to others. And I know I've been doing all

905
01:03:59.519 --> 01:04:01.440
the talk today and I apologize.

906
01:04:01.400 --> 01:04:05.559
It's it's it's it's it's ay. They're loving it.

907
01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:08.920
Oh, I'm glad they're loving it.

908
01:04:10.360 --> 01:04:15.880
Yep. Damn. I didn't even give this dude a male's

909
01:04:15.920 --> 01:04:18.840
perspective of what the fuck is going on with him.

910
01:04:19.679 --> 01:04:22.360
Oh man, what's this say? Right? He hold on. Some

911
01:04:22.519 --> 01:04:27.639
people are just habitual linestepers, always trying to force your

912
01:04:27.719 --> 01:04:30.480
hand to be someone you don't want to be, forcing

913
01:04:30.519 --> 01:04:32.159
you to embrace your inner satan.

914
01:04:33.760 --> 01:04:39.159
Yeah. You know what's so funny. People hate the monsters

915
01:04:39.159 --> 01:04:39.760
they create.

916
01:04:42.559 --> 01:04:49.760
That's true. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, that's.

917
01:04:50.679 --> 01:04:52.880
Like. Okay, So we were talking about my father. My

918
01:04:52.920 --> 01:04:55.400
father before I, before he came back into my life,

919
01:04:55.400 --> 01:04:58.599
he had been married for thirty six years. I didn't

920
01:04:58.639 --> 01:05:00.639
know that when he came to mind, he was in

921
01:05:01.719 --> 01:05:05.519
the middle of a divorce, right, but because he was

922
01:05:05.559 --> 01:05:09.840
having such difficulties with whatever was going on with his life,

923
01:05:11.039 --> 01:05:13.199
he was in a bad situation because he had already

924
01:05:13.599 --> 01:05:17.000
been trying to get divorced for a year. So it

925
01:05:17.079 --> 01:05:20.280
took me stepping in for him to finally get the

926
01:05:20.320 --> 01:05:24.599
process done. But the thing that disheartened me and really

927
01:05:24.639 --> 01:05:27.159
made me sad and angry at the same time is

928
01:05:28.159 --> 01:05:32.920
thirty six years. That's a long long time to be

929
01:05:33.079 --> 01:05:37.760
married to somebody. And all he would do, even to

930
01:05:37.800 --> 01:05:42.039
this day and it's been two years now, is talk

931
01:05:42.119 --> 01:05:45.519
about how she is the demon, how he should have

932
01:05:45.639 --> 01:05:49.280
never married her, how she was this and she was

933
01:05:49.360 --> 01:05:52.920
that and the other. And it makes me so angry

934
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:56.039
because then I say to him, I said, Pop, you

935
01:05:56.079 --> 01:05:59.760
know I love you and I respect you, but you

936
01:05:59.800 --> 01:06:02.440
can not sit here and tell me that she was

937
01:06:02.559 --> 01:06:07.000
such a horrible person that you stayed married to her

938
01:06:07.039 --> 01:06:14.440
for thirty six years. Why is it now you are

939
01:06:14.639 --> 01:06:21.280
hating a monster that you created. You were a part

940
01:06:21.320 --> 01:06:25.559
of that marriage, and I know you. Even though I

941
01:06:25.599 --> 01:06:28.800
didn't spend my life with you, I know you well

942
01:06:28.960 --> 01:06:31.920
enough to know that you are not an easy person

943
01:06:31.960 --> 01:06:37.840
to live with, and you were very selfish. So the

944
01:06:37.960 --> 01:06:39.760
fact that she stayed.

945
01:06:39.440 --> 01:06:43.840
That long, he said, he said, she didn't let cheat

946
01:06:43.840 --> 01:06:44.280
in peace?

947
01:06:45.519 --> 01:06:47.360
What was that she?

948
01:06:47.360 --> 01:06:48.920
She didn't let him cheat in peace?

949
01:06:51.639 --> 01:06:55.239
You know what? That's funny because before he even got divorced,

950
01:06:55.280 --> 01:06:56.880
I mean, he was out, he was out of the house.

951
01:06:56.920 --> 01:07:00.239
She kicked him out, you know. But the funny thing

952
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:05.000
was he moved in with my grandmother to supposedly help

953
01:07:05.039 --> 01:07:10.159
take care of her. But because my well, actually all

954
01:07:10.199 --> 01:07:13.599
the men in my family, including my brothers, they don't

955
01:07:13.800 --> 01:07:17.079
like when people tell them about themselves or shine light

956
01:07:17.159 --> 01:07:19.719
on things that they don't want other people to know. Right,

957
01:07:20.760 --> 01:07:22.880
So as soon as you say something that they don't

958
01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:27.360
like they act like children. They will either storm out

959
01:07:27.400 --> 01:07:32.880
of the house, cut you off and leave like they

960
01:07:33.000 --> 01:07:38.239
run away like little kids who are throwing tantrums. Right, right,

961
01:07:38.480 --> 01:07:40.719
So he was supposed to be living with my grandmom

962
01:07:40.800 --> 01:07:45.960
to help her because she's ninety eight years old. Wow, yeah,

963
01:07:46.119 --> 01:07:50.599
she kept yes and she kept falling and all that.

964
01:07:50.719 --> 01:07:54.039
So he was supposed to be staying with her to

965
01:07:54.159 --> 01:07:56.960
assist her, take her to her doctor's appointments, make sure

966
01:07:57.000 --> 01:07:59.159
she was safe, make sure she ate like I'm doing

967
01:07:59.199 --> 01:08:04.920
for him now, and every time she said something, and

968
01:08:04.960 --> 01:08:08.000
now she has dementia. So a part that, a part

969
01:08:08.079 --> 01:08:12.119
of that disease is they become angry and frustrated because

970
01:08:12.159 --> 01:08:18.119
they're lost. They they're losing their faculties. And when they're

971
01:08:19.079 --> 01:08:25.720
like consciously, you know, coherent, they realize what's happening to

972
01:08:25.760 --> 01:08:29.239
them and it makes them sad and angry. So combativeness

973
01:08:29.319 --> 01:08:32.640
is a part of the disease. Yes, So when Maya

974
01:08:32.680 --> 01:08:37.399
Wilita gets like that or tells him about himself and

975
01:08:37.439 --> 01:08:41.159
it's not like she's lying, she's just telling him about himself,

976
01:08:41.840 --> 01:08:47.039
he gets so angry. He was leaving her apartment to

977
01:08:47.159 --> 01:08:51.000
go to other women's apartments and he was still married

978
01:08:51.039 --> 01:08:55.079
at the time. And when I found that out, it

979
01:08:55.159 --> 01:08:59.079
was because my grandmother had fallen. My uncle installed cameras

980
01:08:59.560 --> 01:09:03.319
and called me and said, where's your father because I

981
01:09:03.439 --> 01:09:06.479
just saw that my mom fell, you know, and he's

982
01:09:06.560 --> 01:09:10.640
nowhere to be found, right, only to find out that

983
01:09:10.760 --> 01:09:14.960
he was staying in another woman's apartment in my grandmother's building.

984
01:09:15.840 --> 01:09:18.279
But that wasn't the only woman he was staying with.

985
01:09:18.399 --> 01:09:22.479
I'm like, dude, you are not even divorced yet and

986
01:09:22.520 --> 01:09:25.800
you're already looking for somebody else to be up under.

987
01:09:26.039 --> 01:09:29.600
Like I don't get it, don Juan, Like, I just

988
01:09:29.640 --> 01:09:32.880
don't get it. I don't get it. But you're sitting

989
01:09:32.880 --> 01:09:36.319
here talking about demon that your ex wife is a demon.

990
01:09:37.359 --> 01:09:41.159
But look what you're doing right, you know. And and

991
01:09:41.239 --> 01:09:43.880
on top of that, which really really bothered me, he

992
01:09:44.000 --> 01:09:48.560
calls himself a Christian. Oh wow, yeah, Like he actually

993
01:09:48.560 --> 01:09:51.880
has a doctorate in theology. And my whole entire life

994
01:09:52.039 --> 01:09:55.359
we spoke maybe once a year, my whole entire life,

995
01:09:55.399 --> 01:09:59.520
and all he would ever do would throw the Bible

996
01:09:59.520 --> 01:10:03.560
at me anytime I had a struggle growing up or

997
01:10:03.560 --> 01:10:06.279
whatever it was, because I didn't pray enough, because I

998
01:10:06.279 --> 01:10:09.479
didn't love God enough, you know, whatever these reasons are.

999
01:10:10.159 --> 01:10:12.960
And here I am a grown woman watching my father

1000
01:10:13.000 --> 01:10:19.000
who was still legally married in Fulana Deda's apartment, not

1001
01:10:19.079 --> 01:10:21.000
taking care of his mother like he was supposed to,

1002
01:10:21.159 --> 01:10:24.079
and totally going against what he's preaching at everybody else.

1003
01:10:24.720 --> 01:10:29.000
I'm like, can you say hypocrite? M But I still

1004
01:10:29.039 --> 01:10:30.920
love him and I still take care of him, but

1005
01:10:31.000 --> 01:10:32.840
I do tell him about himself. And I said, and

1006
01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:35.239
now I dare you to go run away because this

1007
01:10:35.399 --> 01:10:40.640
is your house. Yeah, so run away now, old man,

1008
01:10:42.319 --> 01:10:44.640
and see if I come see if I come back

1009
01:10:44.680 --> 01:10:45.560
and take care of you.

1010
01:10:46.800 --> 01:10:52.159
That's wild. Yeah, I mean, it's it's it's it's hard.

1011
01:10:52.399 --> 01:10:54.359
You know what I'm saying. It's not easy.

1012
01:10:55.159 --> 01:10:57.760
It's not easy, but for some reason people think it's

1013
01:10:57.760 --> 01:11:04.439
supposed to be right, but it's not. Life is not easy,

1014
01:11:04.520 --> 01:11:09.279
but anything worth having is not easy to achieve, you know,

1015
01:11:09.479 --> 01:11:13.920
Like you know, my brothers think that my life is easy,

1016
01:11:13.960 --> 01:11:16.800
because all right, guys, I'm one of seven kids and

1017
01:11:16.840 --> 01:11:19.159
I'm the only one that graduated high school and then

1018
01:11:19.159 --> 01:11:23.439
I went to college. So now my siblings who are

1019
01:11:23.479 --> 01:11:28.439
still around, hate on me. You know, they talk trash

1020
01:11:28.439 --> 01:11:31.439
about me, Oh, you think you're better than me. No

1021
01:11:31.840 --> 01:11:32.199
I'm not.

1022
01:11:32.479 --> 01:11:34.399
That's the one thing they go to all the time,

1023
01:11:34.439 --> 01:11:35.359
the first ting you go.

1024
01:11:38.039 --> 01:11:41.920
And my answer is nope, I am no better than you.

1025
01:11:42.800 --> 01:11:48.479
I just made different decisions, different different choices. So don't

1026
01:11:48.479 --> 01:11:51.520
get mad at me, because the choices you made got

1027
01:11:51.600 --> 01:11:54.720
you where you are, and the choices I made got

1028
01:11:54.720 --> 01:11:55.520
me where I'm at.

1029
01:11:56.000 --> 01:11:57.479
And he said insecurities.

1030
01:11:58.159 --> 01:12:01.560
Yeah, And the funny thing is I have always been

1031
01:12:01.600 --> 01:12:06.880
there for everybody, Like anybody could call me and I'm there.

1032
01:12:07.920 --> 01:12:11.800
I will always answer the phone for you. I don't

1033
01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:15.119
reach out a whole lot because, like I said, I'm

1034
01:12:15.159 --> 01:12:19.920
a very highly sensitive person and I absorb people's energy

1035
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:22.720
and things like that. And you get tired of being

1036
01:12:22.720 --> 01:12:24.880
the one who always reaches out, and so you get

1037
01:12:24.920 --> 01:12:26.800
to a point in your life where it's like, listen,

1038
01:12:26.840 --> 01:12:29.239
if people want me, they know where to find me.

1039
01:12:30.520 --> 01:12:32.359
Like I said, I will always answer the door. I

1040
01:12:32.399 --> 01:12:36.600
will always answer the phone. You just have to reach

1041
01:12:36.640 --> 01:12:39.840
out for me, because you know, I stopped to reach

1042
01:12:39.880 --> 01:12:40.960
it out a long time ago.

1043
01:12:41.960 --> 01:13:00.880
So all, oh shit, oh my god, I'm sorry.

1044
01:13:00.880 --> 01:13:04.520
I just had to do it. I just had to

1045
01:13:04.520 --> 01:13:14.840
do it, oh man. But yeah, The reason why her

1046
01:13:14.920 --> 01:13:17.039
mic went off was because she said if she would

1047
01:13:17.079 --> 01:13:19.680
answer the phone if anybody called to call her. So

1048
01:13:19.760 --> 01:13:24.880
I called her and her phone rang and it kind

1049
01:13:24.880 --> 01:13:27.920
of cut kind of cut it off. So that was

1050
01:13:27.960 --> 01:13:31.800
my fault. I apologize. I was just trying to be

1051
01:13:31.800 --> 01:13:35.439
a wise ass and it backfired a little bit.

1052
01:13:37.119 --> 01:13:38.520
What happened, I disappeared.

1053
01:13:39.279 --> 01:13:42.199
No, when you said if anybody was to knock on

1054
01:13:42.239 --> 01:13:44.439
my door, I'd answer the door if anybody called, I'd

1055
01:13:44.439 --> 01:13:45.880
answered the phone. So I called you.

1056
01:13:46.760 --> 01:13:50.680
Oh you are such a butt because when you did that,

1057
01:13:50.840 --> 01:13:53.079
then I couldn't hear no more and it kicked me out.

1058
01:13:53.600 --> 01:13:57.199
Yeah, yeah, I know it kind of backfired. But it

1059
01:13:57.239 --> 01:14:02.079
was supposed to be funny. But yeah, but but yeah,

1060
01:14:02.359 --> 01:14:07.159
it's yeah, it's it's completely I completely understand. I mean,

1061
01:14:07.239 --> 01:14:12.680
it's it's it's terrible that that's how ship is nowadays,

1062
01:14:13.039 --> 01:14:15.960
you know what I mean, you know, it's it's it's

1063
01:14:15.960 --> 01:14:21.000
so bad, you know, and and to think and to

1064
01:14:21.079 --> 01:14:25.079
think and I'm not I'm not you know, bashing you know,

1065
01:14:25.199 --> 01:14:27.920
your pops And then but when when is it? When

1066
01:14:27.920 --> 01:14:28.560
does it stop?

1067
01:14:29.680 --> 01:14:30.319
When he dies?

1068
01:14:31.159 --> 01:14:31.359
Yeah?

1069
01:14:33.720 --> 01:14:35.880
Because the truth and this is something because I just

1070
01:14:35.920 --> 01:14:38.199
came back. Me and my daughter just came back from

1071
01:14:38.239 --> 01:14:44.920
our quarterly visit, and I realized something. All the things

1072
01:14:45.199 --> 01:14:48.920
because I go to this this condo, I buy and

1073
01:14:49.000 --> 01:14:52.760
spend all this money because he he never lived alone,

1074
01:14:53.039 --> 01:14:54.680
so he had to start from scratch.

1075
01:14:55.439 --> 01:14:57.039
Yeah I had to buy.

1076
01:14:57.319 --> 01:15:00.319
Yeah, I had to buy silverware, all these things, right,

1077
01:15:01.119 --> 01:15:03.920
And my thing is my taste is not his taste,

1078
01:15:03.960 --> 01:15:07.439
and vice versa. So I would always say, Pop, what

1079
01:15:07.520 --> 01:15:10.359
do you want? What do you need? All this stuff? Right?

1080
01:15:10.520 --> 01:15:12.640
I buy all this stuff. So this last time, I

1081
01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:18.680
go over there and I go into the kitchen washing dishes,

1082
01:15:18.920 --> 01:15:23.439
I say, Boppy, what happened to your dish strain? Oh

1083
01:15:23.560 --> 01:15:29.159
it's under the sink. I go into the bathroom, Boppy,

1084
01:15:29.640 --> 01:15:36.000
where's your toothpaste and toothbrush? Oh it's in the medicine cabinet. Okay,

1085
01:15:36.840 --> 01:15:40.239
where did your soap dish go? Oh? I threw it out.

1086
01:15:41.079 --> 01:15:44.560
Where are your towels? All this stuff I bought brand new.

1087
01:15:44.600 --> 01:15:49.439
Where's your towels? Oh they're too fluffy. I don't use them.

1088
01:15:50.439 --> 01:15:55.199
I'm like, hold on, I spent thousands of dollars getting

1089
01:15:55.239 --> 01:15:58.279
you all of these things, and you said, whatever you

1090
01:15:58.319 --> 01:16:01.479
want me? How whatever you want I do that, and

1091
01:16:01.479 --> 01:16:04.920
you don't use any of it, right, Your dish strains

1092
01:16:05.039 --> 01:16:07.000
under the sink. He's like, oh, well, because I just

1093
01:16:07.159 --> 01:16:09.199
washed my dishes and put them away. Well, then, when

1094
01:16:09.239 --> 01:16:12.520
I asked you if you wanted this dishtrain, you didn't

1095
01:16:12.520 --> 01:16:16.720
say I don't want a drain. You say you want

1096
01:16:16.800 --> 01:16:19.359
kitchen towels. I buy kitchen towels. What are they doing?

1097
01:16:19.800 --> 01:16:23.760
They're hanging on the fridge. You don't even use them, right.

1098
01:16:24.399 --> 01:16:27.199
I bought him the if any of you guys know

1099
01:16:27.279 --> 01:16:30.680
like BJ's Costco, Sam's, you know all that. It's the

1100
01:16:31.319 --> 01:16:35.000
bulk stuff. I buy him bulk toilet paper, bulk paper

1101
01:16:35.039 --> 01:16:38.520
towels so that they'll last at least every three months,

1102
01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:41.800
so that when I go I can buy more. Right, Yeah,

1103
01:16:41.840 --> 01:16:45.840
I go. He's got these dollar store paper towels on

1104
01:16:45.880 --> 01:16:50.159
the table, and I'm like, Pop, where are the paper

1105
01:16:50.199 --> 01:16:54.119
towels that I bought you? Oh, they're in my closet.

1106
01:16:55.079 --> 01:16:58.039
Which closet, Oh, the closet where my clothes are hanging.

1107
01:16:58.760 --> 01:17:01.359
Do you not like them? Like their paper towels? Pop?

1108
01:17:03.000 --> 01:17:06.399
Like I don't, and they're the good ones, right. I'm like,

1109
01:17:06.520 --> 01:17:10.159
I don't understand. Why are you buying dollar store paper towels,

1110
01:17:10.199 --> 01:17:14.760
wasting more money when you have like a thirty pack

1111
01:17:15.439 --> 01:17:18.760
in your closet and the toilet paper you have a

1112
01:17:18.800 --> 01:17:25.039
fifty pack, Why are you buying these dollar store toilet paper?

1113
01:17:25.439 --> 01:17:28.800
So anyway, all that to say that I realized that

1114
01:17:31.199 --> 01:17:35.960
he is who he is and that's not going to change.

1115
01:17:37.159 --> 01:17:40.720
So I need to figure out a different way of

1116
01:17:40.800 --> 01:17:48.560
compromising and communicating with him, to figure out what is

1117
01:17:48.640 --> 01:17:52.039
going to help to make his life easier and not mine,

1118
01:17:54.319 --> 01:17:57.119
because again he's the one that won't take the doctor's

1119
01:17:57.159 --> 01:18:00.279
medication but will call me because of some that he

1120
01:18:00.319 --> 01:18:05.920
saw on TV. Yes, Ma, could you buy me? Can

1121
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:08.960
you buy me this thing that I saw on YouTube? No, Pop,

1122
01:18:10.119 --> 01:18:17.000
I'm not buying you monkey snot shark, finn, giraffe toenails.

1123
01:18:17.399 --> 01:18:20.600
I'm not buying all this stuff takes the medicine that

1124
01:18:20.680 --> 01:18:21.720
the doctor gives you.

1125
01:18:27.079 --> 01:18:31.159
Giraffdails, Oh my god.

1126
01:18:32.119 --> 01:18:35.079
And the funny thing is it's just the generation. Because

1127
01:18:35.439 --> 01:18:39.239
when we were visiting my well my I call her

1128
01:18:39.319 --> 01:18:43.039
my aunt, but it's my my father's cousin. I literally

1129
01:18:43.119 --> 01:18:46.399
sat there listening to them talk. They're like brother and sister,

1130
01:18:47.520 --> 01:18:51.000
and she's talking the same stuff. She's like, don't you

1131
01:18:51.199 --> 01:18:57.319
know I had cancer and they told me to have

1132
01:18:57.479 --> 01:19:02.159
shark finn or whatever and it cured my cancer. I

1133
01:19:02.239 --> 01:19:05.319
looked at her, I was like, no, no, she didn't.

1134
01:19:06.159 --> 01:19:11.399
She didn't. She's got my father thinking that these things

1135
01:19:11.399 --> 01:19:17.399
he sees on YouTube. Oh, it's crazy. It is crazy.

1136
01:19:17.439 --> 01:19:22.239
But I definitely saw and understood something that I didn't

1137
01:19:22.399 --> 01:19:25.680
understand before. But again, he hasn't been in my life,

1138
01:19:25.720 --> 01:19:29.359
so I'm still learning. I'm still learning him and how

1139
01:19:29.399 --> 01:19:33.840
to deal with him.

1140
01:19:33.960 --> 01:19:34.239
Wow.

1141
01:19:34.439 --> 01:19:38.359
So it's it's been interesting. And that's act and that's

1142
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:41.800
type of love too. You know, we talk about relationships.

1143
01:19:42.439 --> 01:19:46.039
Parent relationships are just as much a part of your

1144
01:19:46.079 --> 01:19:52.600
intimate relationships as your friendships, you know. And and we're

1145
01:19:52.640 --> 01:19:57.039
just in a place right now where it's every man

1146
01:19:57.079 --> 01:20:02.520
for themselves, you know, every man for themselves, and and

1147
01:20:02.560 --> 01:20:09.279
it's becoming really sad and lonely and just people hating

1148
01:20:09.319 --> 01:20:15.239
each other. You know. Yeah, things that were said to

1149
01:20:15.359 --> 01:20:22.159
pass are passing. M hm. Yeah, We're we're in We're

1150
01:20:22.199 --> 01:20:24.159
in dire times. Corleone.

1151
01:20:26.960 --> 01:20:28.920
I get it. I get it.

1152
01:20:32.760 --> 01:20:34.880
But I sit in my house and I drink my

1153
01:20:35.199 --> 01:20:41.920
homemade iced tea and got turkeys and pies and all that,

1154
01:20:41.960 --> 01:20:46.479
because tomorrow I will wake up and thank my Lord

1155
01:20:46.520 --> 01:20:49.319
above for everything that I have, good, bad, and indifferent.

1156
01:20:50.119 --> 01:20:50.520
Mm hmm.

1157
01:20:52.199 --> 01:20:55.680
Even you when you when you, when you, when you

1158
01:20:55.720 --> 01:20:59.560
get silly on the show, I'm like, you know, I'm thankful.

1159
01:21:00.479 --> 01:21:06.439
Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think it was going to turn

1160
01:21:06.439 --> 01:21:12.720
your mic off and boot you out. I didn't think

1161
01:21:12.720 --> 01:21:13.640
it was going to do all that.

1162
01:21:13.720 --> 01:21:19.399
Lesson learned, Lessons learned, lessons learn I can see people writing,

1163
01:21:19.520 --> 01:21:20.960
but I don't know what they're saying.

1164
01:21:21.319 --> 01:21:25.880
All right, hold on, let's start with Christina says he

1165
01:21:26.000 --> 01:21:30.840
might feel like a dollionaire. I guess trying to say,

1166
01:21:30.840 --> 01:21:33.680
like a dollar millionaire going to the dollar store.

1167
01:21:35.760 --> 01:21:39.159
Oh, he refused, No, he The funny thing is he

1168
01:21:39.199 --> 01:21:41.399
goes there to get the toilet paper and all that stuff,

1169
01:21:42.000 --> 01:21:45.319
but heaven forbid you buy him something like other than that.

1170
01:21:45.479 --> 01:21:48.800
From there, he will look at you like you have

1171
01:21:48.880 --> 01:21:49.880
two heads.

1172
01:21:50.319 --> 01:21:50.720
Mm hmm.

1173
01:21:52.840 --> 01:21:57.600
Oh, I'm a pumpkin pie. I was thinking of an

1174
01:21:57.640 --> 01:22:00.600
apple pie, but I don't know. There's only two of

1175
01:22:00.680 --> 01:22:01.319
us here.

1176
01:22:01.199 --> 01:22:01.359
So.

1177
01:22:05.119 --> 01:22:09.800
Yeah, a dollionaire. That is so funny. Oh, and I

1178
01:22:09.840 --> 01:22:13.479
took off all of the doorknobs in his apartment right.

1179
01:22:14.319 --> 01:22:15.520
Two, Why did you do that?

1180
01:22:16.159 --> 01:22:21.920
Well, no, no, no one. Because we were painting, we've

1181
01:22:21.960 --> 01:22:26.760
been painting, but also because they're the old original brass

1182
01:22:26.840 --> 01:22:33.319
knobs and I wanted to renew them because they're quality

1183
01:22:33.399 --> 01:22:37.800
door knobs, Porleon. How did I go there and he

1184
01:22:37.880 --> 01:22:39.199
told me he threw them all away?

1185
01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:40.600
No.

1186
01:22:40.960 --> 01:22:48.960
I was so angry because that's what he does. It's like,

1187
01:22:50.439 --> 01:22:54.520
I'm in the kitchen cooking. I leave stuff that I'm

1188
01:22:54.560 --> 01:22:58.800
working on right like, I'm literally cooking. I go out

1189
01:22:58.960 --> 01:23:02.319
to go get something like a play or I go

1190
01:23:02.399 --> 01:23:04.960
to put something on the table. I'll come back. He

1191
01:23:05.119 --> 01:23:11.199
throw it away. I'm like, pop, stop touching stuff. Oh,

1192
01:23:11.279 --> 01:23:14.479
I was just cleaning up. I'm like, oh my gosh.

1193
01:23:14.720 --> 01:23:17.279
First of all, he forgets from one minute to the next.

1194
01:23:17.760 --> 01:23:21.680
So it's like, how about you go have several seats

1195
01:23:22.000 --> 01:23:24.760
and watch all of the things that I'm paying for

1196
01:23:24.800 --> 01:23:30.079
you to watch on my account and just chill, man, chill,

1197
01:23:31.520 --> 01:23:34.000
turn on your hair and aid sit down on the

1198
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:40.159
couch and got him my there. Bro. Like it's bad

1199
01:23:40.319 --> 01:23:42.720
enough that all the food that I made for him

1200
01:23:42.720 --> 01:23:46.600
and put in the freezer, he didn't even cook it.

1201
01:23:47.359 --> 01:23:47.840
Oh wow.

1202
01:23:48.680 --> 01:23:51.119
I went because I'm like, every three months, I'm gonna

1203
01:23:51.159 --> 01:23:53.159
go through the shopping. You know, I don't want to

1204
01:23:53.159 --> 01:23:55.319
make sure he's got enough food for the three months.

1205
01:23:55.520 --> 01:23:58.000
It's easy. You take it out, put it in the microwave.

1206
01:23:58.039 --> 01:24:02.319
Because he refuses to use the stove. He didn't even

1207
01:24:02.399 --> 01:24:04.720
do that. All the food I made is still in

1208
01:24:04.760 --> 01:24:12.399
the freezer. I'm like, are you serious? But then I

1209
01:24:12.479 --> 01:24:14.880
go and I serve him. So I'm cooking every night

1210
01:24:15.039 --> 01:24:18.359
on top of cleaning and doing all this other stuff

1211
01:24:18.399 --> 01:24:19.840
for him, and.

1212
01:24:19.760 --> 01:24:30.119
I'm like, wow, ma, really quick, really quick. We got

1213
01:24:30.199 --> 01:24:32.960
uh the one that I was talking about, the dillionaire

1214
01:24:33.079 --> 01:24:37.199
the dotty there? Yeah, Christina, Christina, you're still in the room.

1215
01:24:37.760 --> 01:24:39.039
Let me know you're still in the room or not.

1216
01:24:40.760 --> 01:24:42.159
I just want to make sure she's still in the

1217
01:24:42.239 --> 01:24:49.000
room because I want to say something there.

1218
01:24:50.520 --> 01:24:51.640
Uh.

1219
01:24:51.760 --> 01:24:53.840
So other than that, I'll wait to see if she

1220
01:24:53.880 --> 01:24:56.560
lets me know she's still in the room. But uh,

1221
01:24:56.880 --> 01:24:59.159
but yeah, I get it, and I think the older

1222
01:24:59.199 --> 01:25:04.720
he gets, it's only gonna get worse, you know what

1223
01:25:04.760 --> 01:25:05.039
I mean?

1224
01:25:06.520 --> 01:25:11.079
Yeah? Yeah, but wait, wait until we get to the

1225
01:25:11.119 --> 01:25:13.880
point where I have to take his license.

1226
01:25:15.159 --> 01:25:16.000
He's still driving.

1227
01:25:16.520 --> 01:25:26.800
Mm hmmm mm hmmm. And I'm scared because he's getting

1228
01:25:26.840 --> 01:25:30.319
an accidents and then blaming the other person. I'm like,

1229
01:25:30.560 --> 01:25:32.079
oh my gosh.

1230
01:25:33.039 --> 01:25:39.600
So Christina, she's still in the room. I wanna I

1231
01:25:39.640 --> 01:25:45.920
want to send my condolences, and the co host of

1232
01:25:45.960 --> 01:25:48.359
the show want to send our condolences to you. I

1233
01:25:48.359 --> 01:25:53.560
know you recently lost you know, a relative, you're your brother,

1234
01:25:53.680 --> 01:25:59.239
and I know I know, I know, I've known your

1235
01:25:59.279 --> 01:26:03.840
brother long time. He's a Hoboken legend, you know what

1236
01:26:03.840 --> 01:26:07.279
I'm saying. And may rest in paradise, you know. So

1237
01:26:07.399 --> 01:26:10.760
we sending our condolences to you and your family. So

1238
01:26:12.279 --> 01:26:15.720
just you know, stay blessed and you know, may rest

1239
01:26:15.760 --> 01:26:17.520
in peace. You know what I'm saying. So I just

1240
01:26:17.520 --> 01:26:20.560
wanted to say that real quick, and I.

1241
01:26:20.560 --> 01:26:29.359
Will definitely be saying prayers for you tonight, Christine. So yeah,

1242
01:26:30.239 --> 01:26:33.039
and so Eric, why are you ask me about my pie?

1243
01:26:34.239 --> 01:26:34.479
Yeah?

1244
01:26:35.520 --> 01:26:39.960
Do you even live in New Jersey?

1245
01:26:40.600 --> 01:26:40.880
Wow?

1246
01:26:42.039 --> 01:26:46.239
You're welcome, Christine.

1247
01:26:48.479 --> 01:26:52.880
Yeah, So I had I had some trivia stuff here,

1248
01:26:55.119 --> 01:26:58.239
but I don't know. Well, maybe we maybe I should

1249
01:26:58.279 --> 01:27:03.600
ask you a couple of these questions. Maybe, Yes, let's see,

1250
01:27:03.880 --> 01:27:04.199
mum m.

1251
01:27:06.079 --> 01:27:14.680
Eric said, who Pe, what's that mean, Eric, I don't know.

1252
01:27:16.880 --> 01:27:22.199
Yes, so old there was the oldest brother that passed. Yeah, yeah, I.

1253
01:27:22.479 --> 01:27:25.840
Can definitely relate. I lost my older sister nine years ago.

1254
01:27:27.000 --> 01:27:28.680
It's tough. It's tough.

1255
01:27:32.920 --> 01:27:39.760
Yeah. Yeah.

1256
01:27:39.800 --> 01:27:42.520
So he says, oh, I'm a lot closer.

1257
01:27:46.319 --> 01:27:48.079
Oh, I don't know what that means.

1258
01:27:48.640 --> 01:27:50.880
I don't either, A lot closer to what.

1259
01:27:55.520 --> 01:28:04.840
Mhm oh he's talking to Christina.

1260
01:28:06.760 --> 01:28:20.239
Okay, yeah, so a cyber truck. Oh man?

1261
01:28:24.800 --> 01:28:41.960
Oh wow, m damn.

1262
01:28:42.840 --> 01:28:48.720
I'm sorry, Yes, Eric, in Jersey, South Jersey, North Jersey,

1263
01:28:48.840 --> 01:28:51.920
Central Jersey. There's a lot of Jersey here.

1264
01:28:53.239 --> 01:28:56.960
There and now look there is no central Jersey. Yes,

1265
01:28:57.039 --> 01:29:00.920
either north or south there, let's get that straight.

1266
01:29:01.560 --> 01:29:12.319
North there is Trenton is central Jersey. Central Jersey. No,

1267
01:29:12.399 --> 01:29:12.800
it's not.

1268
01:29:13.359 --> 01:29:17.199
Yeah, the cut off, the cutoff is I think Edison

1269
01:29:18.600 --> 01:29:22.880
after that's that's all south.

1270
01:29:23.479 --> 01:29:27.279
No, it's central. You know what, I'm not doing this

1271
01:29:27.359 --> 01:29:32.880
with you?

1272
01:29:32.960 --> 01:29:41.079
All right? All right, beefing that's right really quick. So

1273
01:29:41.920 --> 01:29:44.479
yeah we're not We're not gonna do. We'll do trivia

1274
01:29:44.600 --> 01:29:45.039
other time.

1275
01:29:46.359 --> 01:29:50.279
So because I was running my mouth.

1276
01:29:50.680 --> 01:29:52.800
No no, no, no, no no no, not because you're

1277
01:29:52.880 --> 01:29:55.399
running your mouth. The land of Tailor.

1278
01:29:55.159 --> 01:30:00.800
Hand Taylor Ham. Yeah, I don't know where where that is.

1279
01:30:03.119 --> 01:30:03.880
North Jersey.

1280
01:30:05.239 --> 01:30:09.359
Oh wow, that sucks. I guess. I guess. No pie

1281
01:30:09.399 --> 01:30:16.960
for you, Eric Sanchez, No pie that sucks anyway.

1282
01:30:18.560 --> 01:30:23.840
Anyway, with that being said, all Central Jersey is a myth.

1283
01:30:24.520 --> 01:30:26.079
No, it's.

1284
01:30:28.680 --> 01:30:38.079
Oh man, let's let's let's let's let's just give three things.

1285
01:30:38.279 --> 01:30:40.319
I'll give three things. You give three things that we're

1286
01:30:40.319 --> 01:30:45.479
thankful for for tomorrow. M hm, three things. I looked thought,

1287
01:30:45.600 --> 01:30:46.439
what are you thankful for?

1288
01:30:48.720 --> 01:31:01.760
I'm thankful for my life, my children and m m

1289
01:31:04.199 --> 01:31:04.640
my heart.

1290
01:31:06.279 --> 01:31:06.560
Mhm.

1291
01:31:09.399 --> 01:31:13.840
Okay, I can't stand pork roll. Get out of here.

1292
01:31:17.960 --> 01:31:22.640
Well, if we there's a couple of people in the

1293
01:31:22.720 --> 01:31:25.159
chat room, So if you guys would like to chime

1294
01:31:25.199 --> 01:31:27.319
in and tell us what you're thankful for, you just

1295
01:31:27.359 --> 01:31:33.079
give us one thing you're thankful for for tomorrow and

1296
01:31:33.079 --> 01:31:37.079
and then I'll tell you guys while you guys put

1297
01:31:37.079 --> 01:31:41.960
it in there. I'm thankful for my children, grandchildren. That

1298
01:31:42.079 --> 01:31:49.239
was just just one. I'm thankful for my friends and

1299
01:31:49.279 --> 01:31:57.800
the people like call friend, and I'm very I'm thankful

1300
01:31:57.840 --> 01:32:03.800
to be able to do you know what I do.

1301
01:32:03.840 --> 01:32:09.159
You know what I'm saying, And I really, I'm really

1302
01:32:09.199 --> 01:32:12.239
thankful for the show and for the connections we've made,

1303
01:32:13.279 --> 01:32:20.640
and you know the differences we've made in some people's

1304
01:32:20.680 --> 01:32:24.840
lives just doing what we do, and that's speak the truth,

1305
01:32:24.880 --> 01:32:28.680
talk to truth, real life, real fun, real talk. You know,

1306
01:32:29.039 --> 01:32:31.239
that's what we do here. And I'm just thankful that

1307
01:32:31.319 --> 01:32:35.920
we've been able to do that for people. And and

1308
01:32:36.000 --> 01:32:45.680
that's it. So you know, hopefully everyone out there has

1309
01:32:45.720 --> 01:32:56.079
a great Thanksgiving beloved family, food, football, and stranger things.

1310
01:32:58.279 --> 01:33:01.880
So hopefully everybody can know has a good time. You know,

1311
01:33:02.000 --> 01:33:10.359
everybody's happy, safe, healthy, and you know, everybody stay plus this.

1312
01:33:15.279 --> 01:33:29.399
H oh, mister Akacella, appreciate you. You know, I got

1313
01:33:29.439 --> 01:33:36.319
mad love for you, bro. You know how we do here, right. Yeah.

1314
01:33:36.399 --> 01:33:43.279
So with that, with that being said, I hope everybody

1315
01:33:43.319 --> 01:33:46.760
has a great and happy Thanksgiving. I hope that everybody

1316
01:33:47.840 --> 01:33:52.079
you know is with family and friends and loved ones,

1317
01:33:52.439 --> 01:33:57.520
and I hope that everybody can enjoy the day. So

1318
01:33:57.600 --> 01:34:01.960
with that being said, I thought, I don't hang up, Okay,

1319
01:34:02.319 --> 01:34:09.920
all right, you stay on and yeah, and Thanksgiving all people.

1320
01:34:10.039 --> 01:34:13.279
Plenty of food, plenty of time, plenty of a good time,

1321
01:34:13.319 --> 01:34:17.119
plenty of fun. And with that being said, always keep

1322
01:34:17.119 --> 01:34:20.159
in mind that at some point people this might hurt.

1323
01:34:20.479 --> 01:34:20.680
Hurt.

1324
01:34:21.399 --> 01:34:23.399
Good night, enjoy your Thanksgiving