Nov. 19, 2025

When The Silence Gets Loud : Dealing With Loneliness (Recorded Live On 11-12-25)

When The Silence Gets Loud : Dealing With Loneliness (Recorded Live On 11-12-25)
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In this raw and unfiltered episode of The This Might Hurt Podcast, Big Corleone, T.G. Love, Simon Phoenix, and Lady G dive deep into the heavy weight of loneliness, the kind that creeps in even when you’re surrounded by people. They peel back the layers of silence, heartbreak, and survival that come with feeling unseen in a world obsessed with connection. From late-night thoughts that hit too hard to the battles we fight behind fake smiles, the crew doesn’t hold back. This one’s not for the faint of heart, it’s real talk about pain, pride, and finding your way back to yourself. Because sometimes the loudest noise in your life… is the Silence!!

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WEBVTT

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Yeah, Hey, what's up everybody? There's big coldion of this

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my every podcast. Ye coming to you live once again

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like we always do. How's everybody doing tonight? How's everybody's

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Why was everybody's weak? I hope everybody? Yo, what's up?

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What's up? Heather? How you doing? M hm? Hope all

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as well? Let's get this chatroom popping off. I just

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hope everybody had a good week. I'm saying, I hope everybody. Hey, Christina,

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what's up? Aho be in the building. You know how

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we do, always repping, always repping hard, and you know

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how we do. Hey, Jill, how you doing? I hope

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all as well? Hello, how's everybody doings been a crazy

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few weeks? Yeah, I bet he's been all right? All right, Teresa,

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it's been a good week. It's been a good week

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here also, you know, all right, Joe doing pretty awesome.

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I'm glad. I'm glad you're doing pretty awesome. You know

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what I'm saying. I'm glad you're doing well. You know,

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as far as I'm concerned, I'm I'm loving it. You

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know what I'm saying. I mean, I'm I'm good. I'm

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doing real good, you know, taking care of business here

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with you guys. You know, let me let me do

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a couple of things here really quick. You guys, got

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the banner down on the bottom. Read it, you know

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what I'm saying. And if anybody feels they're in that

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position or want to do something, let me know and

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we'll definitely get it going. Definitely get it going. Hold

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on one second, I want to bring in my lovely

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co host, Lady G. We can have you know, get

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things going here. Oh, let me let me hold on

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one second. All right, see how everything's going. Everything's good,

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Lady G. How wire you?

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Hey, I'm great as usual.

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Great as usual.

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That ever a bad day for me on this side

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of the ground.

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That's right, That's how it is. That's how it should be. Actually,

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you know, yeah, grateful for all I have. Yeah, yeah,

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that's good. That's good. All right? So how was how

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was your weekend as a whole? How how's everything been?

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Because we didn't get to see you last week, so yeah,

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I was.

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Yeah, I had some prior pror things last week. But hey,

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I show up most of the time, so sometimes sometimes

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I need to step away as well, you know, as

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some people do. Yeah, ourselves and you know, self care

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is always important, Yes it is.

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Self care is always important.

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Yeah, but everything's good. It's always good, you know. Like

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I said, very appreciative for all that I learn every day,

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all the you know, the life that I get to

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have opportunities.

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That's awesome. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, we should be We should

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be hearing from the other co host real soon. You

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know how it is. You know that they're gon straggling in.

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You know, it is so tonight's theme, so to speak.

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You know, whatever he's going to be talking about is

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mainly about dealing with loneliness. You know what I'm saying.

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So loneliness HiT's different, you know what I'm saying when

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you realize it's not the lack of people around you,

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it's the lack of honesty within you. What do you

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think of that?

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No, you're talking to me. Yeah, well, I guess that

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would also depend on what the lack of honesty is.

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I honestly do believe that if you don't, if you're

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not honest with yourself, if you're not self aware. You know,

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it's kind of the same stuff I say. Most of

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the time, loneliness exists, you know, and and it's true

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you could have a million people with you and still

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lonely and feeling alone and uncared for, unseen invisible. You know,

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like definitely loneliness exists. I personally believe though it is

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what do we use, uh that fills us as individuals

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two to kind of work with that loneliness?

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You know?

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What helps us to combat that? What do we believe?

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What do we think? What do we do to help ourselves?

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And we are going to get into all of that

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ship tonight, all of that stuff we just said, we're

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going to get into because this is going to be

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a distance is gonna be this is gonna be good.

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I'm going to bring in our other co host, TG Love.

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What's good with the kittie on the screen?

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Hello?

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How are you?

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I'm just better, but I'm good.

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I was trying to like set it up where I

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can have this thing with my camera, but I can't

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get a good angle. It's not pretty.

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It's all about angles, isn't it?

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It really is? But I can't.

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It does not sound well, tg Oh, I.

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Mean just in pain having them.

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Oh that's not good. That is not good. So so

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like you could be to me, you could be in

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a in a room full of people and still feel

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disconnection from everybody. The real fear, I think the real

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fear really isn't the feeling of being alone, but I

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think it's I think it's more of being alone in

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your own thoughts as well. If you if you sit

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there and you you you you marinate, and you think

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too much about your your shortcomings, or your your issues

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or whatever it is you got going on in your life,

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that makes the feeling even more powerful, you know. So

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tonight we'll be diving into the gritty reality of loneliness,

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you know what I'm saying. So I think that it's

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it's it's gonna be interesting to see what the what

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what the chatroom has to say about feeling lonely at

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times that I know, every once in a while, somebody

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has to feel something that they don't they don't like,

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and they don't they don't approve, they don't approve a feeling,

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you know. So, I think one of the one of

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the misconceptions of loneliness is people think it makes you

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weak if you feel if you say to your to

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your friends, all you know, I'm feeling lonely, I'm not

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feeling I feel kind of fucked up. You know what

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I'm saying, I'm not really feeling myself. You know, some

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of them might think to themselves, like, what the fuck?

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You know what I'm saying. I mean, you you, you

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shouldn't feel that way. You know what I'm saying. You

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shouldn't feel that way because you have all these friends

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or you have you know, all all this this this

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this good ship going on for yourself. You know, I

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think loneliness doesn't make you weak. I think it makes

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you human. Yeah, you know what I mean. Everyone, everyone,

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it's that wall sooner or later, you know where they

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feel that way. The strongest people often are the ones

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who keep smiling and fighting to feel that connection with

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other people, you know what I mean. That's just my

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opinion on it. So anybody else has a thought on that, No.

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Okay, yeah, of course I don't know. I was just

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trying to figure out because the view looks different, like, well,

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it's like I don't know how to make it where

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it's just us and not.

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Okay. It was like some vertical preview that was on.

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Oh yeah, yeah, on the side you have to turn

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that off.

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Horrible.

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I was just trying to figure this out, like see.

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Ship, so.

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Use alone loneliness is part of being human. But I think,

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but there's a line there too, right, because one side

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of loneliness that can be signs of depression, you know. Ah,

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But I think it's unfair for people to think that, oh,

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you have a lot of good things, you should be grateful,

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you have people, blah blah blah. When you're depressed, where

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you're in a hole. You feel like you're in a

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hole deep underground and like there might be people up

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top talking to you, but you I feel like you

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just feel like you, r uh, what's the word I'm

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looking for? Like you put you could be a burden

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on someone because you know, this is my problem, my deal.

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You know what, what am I going to do? Put

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that on someone else. I feel like a lot of

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people tend to stay closed off and not talk because

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because you know, like you're drowning thinking. And I think

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we talked about this last week or the week before,

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how we tend to be our worst critics and get

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deep into this thought this this thought process of negativity,

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and you can truly like make yourself believe that you

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have no one when you do have people, because chances

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are that there are people around you that do want

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to be there for you.

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Not everybody, but because we know.

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That people talk shit too, and I'm here for you

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if you need it, But then you need that shit

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and where are they? So I feel like we, hopefully

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all of us have like at least that one friend

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that you can go to and be like, grow, I'm upset,

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like shit ain't going right, because, like we talked about before,

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like getting in your head is probably one of the

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worst places to be, so absolutely talking it out and

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having someone to talk talk to at least, you know,

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if it's not a therapist, at least a friend, just just.

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Someone that you can say what's on your.

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Mind and hopefully the other person doesn't try and fix it,

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but just tries to listen and be there for you.

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I think. I also think that when people sit there

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and they say, well, you have to be alone to

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feel lonely, you know, some of the some of the

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loneliest people are surrounded by people every day.

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Yeah you know what I'm you can you can, you.

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Can laugh, you know what I'm saying. Can you can work, party, chill,

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do whatever it is you you do. You can even

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you can even be sleeping next to someone and still

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have that cold, you know, silent feeling inside of you,

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you know what I mean.

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Yeah, it sucks, yeah, Like, but.

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Loneliness is not just about you know, like being depressed

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or feeling alone. I mean, even if you have a

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great life, you know, good job. We as human beings

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were not created to be alone. We were created to

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share with others, you know, to be a part of

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of other people's lives, to have them a part of us.

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And loneliness is not even just about relationships. It's about friendships,

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it's about family, you know. Loneliness is a feeling. It's

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something that happens to everybody at some point, you know,

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So it's not even you know, a lot of people

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think it's just depressed people or just no everything.

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Or or people sometimes even think it's just a phase

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that you go through.

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Yeah.

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No, I mean people have great lives and still feel lonely.

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Well, yeah, people, that has to do with being content

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in your life and other things like that. But I

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think there is a line to know when it's depression.

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And relationships to me could be any kind familiar friends,

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just having like you said, we can't be on our own,

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where creatures meant to be around others, we're meant to socialize,

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we're meant to get feedback, and I think that when

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we don't get those things, you know, if those things

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aren't being fulfilled, that's when one can feel alone or

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lonely or you know, there are people who do everything

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on their list of things that they wanted to accomplish

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and do, and they still feel, you know, like lonely,

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like they didn't do, like they're missing something, you know.

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We know. It was kind of crazy too. I was

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thinking about this whole social media shit, how social media

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it does keep people connected. But the lie is where

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you think to yourself, you know, especially if you're feeling lonely,

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you think that that social media is going to keep

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you connected with people, when in fact, connections aren't meant

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to be digital. They're meant to be you know, face

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to face. You know, real bonds, Real bonds don't need

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Wi Fi, you know what I'm saying. I mean, you

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really don't need to deal with with someone who who's

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just across the world and they're talking to you. Then

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they're they're harding your ship and they're liking your pictures,

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and those aren't connections, you know what I'm saying. Those

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aren't the kinds of connections you you you want to

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build upon. The physical connections are the kinds of connections

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you need, I think, to be able to to build upon,

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you know, because social media got it all fucked up.

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00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:44.119
You know, just because you know, you know somebody who

232
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:47.160
lives in fucking Japan or some shit, doesn't mean that

233
00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:52.000
it's a connection, you know, worth worth going crazy over.

234
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:54.160
You know what I'm trying to say, Like, it's not,

235
00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:57.279
it's not it's not that's not how it is. That's

236
00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:01.839
not what building a connection is. Especially, Yeah, no, in

237
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:04.240
this in this day and age where everything is digit

238
00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:06.400
is digital, and everything is over the internet.

239
00:18:07.319 --> 00:18:10.400
I mean, you could totally make emotional connections you get

240
00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:16.960
the internet, Like that's not impossible, But is it, Like,

241
00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:22.240
I mean it's hard. I think that the Internet has

242
00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.319
allowed more people to be in touch, but at the

243
00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:36.839
same time, you're limited, Like it's not. I mean, I

244
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:39.720
like that you can video chat, so if you haven't

245
00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:43.519
seen someone's face in a while, you can talk to

246
00:18:43.559 --> 00:18:48.720
them that way, you know. And and I'm just talking

247
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:55.759
about friendships, like people that I've known since school and

248
00:18:55.880 --> 00:19:01.839
I don't talk to them as often because everybody's got

249
00:19:01.880 --> 00:19:06.440
shit going on a family. You know, you'll parents always

250
00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:11.119
too busy, so the rest of us have to like

251
00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:18.119
get busy with our cats. So I feel like, you know,

252
00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:22.359
like I have the best friend that I've known since

253
00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:26.079
freshman year, I think for eighth grade. I can't remember

254
00:19:26.119 --> 00:19:30.960
which one, and like she needs my Cuban link my

255
00:19:31.160 --> 00:19:35.359
sister like that, you know, and if I need something,

256
00:19:36.279 --> 00:19:40.480
I can just go like message her, you know, if

257
00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:42.799
she needs to talk about something, she needs advice, she

258
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:48.119
needs to vent, she knows it's reciprocated, right, So I

259
00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:52.480
don't feel as connected as i'd got to be because

260
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:55.680
I would rather be spending quality time with her and

261
00:19:55.720 --> 00:20:01.759
her family, but like distance doesn't allow for that. So

262
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:06.519
I feel in that case, you know, like even you

263
00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:11.240
and I we're friends, so like keeping in touch and

264
00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:16.359
Facebook messenger has become like the way that I communicate

265
00:20:16.400 --> 00:20:20.799
with everybody, unfortunately, and like that's just how.

266
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:23.400
Or I mean.

267
00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:27.440
Texting with the sort of text but you know, it's

268
00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:31.000
just easier to send funny stuff to the d m.

269
00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:38.480
HM. So all right, yeah, I think I think the

270
00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:42.920
whole you know, Facebook messagers shit is But I do

271
00:20:43.079 --> 00:20:45.720
need to see your faith from time to time, right,

272
00:20:46.279 --> 00:20:47.119
stop bullshitting.

273
00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:51.519
Okats, So I know I'm just I'm lead in bed

274
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:58.119
right now. You look, I'm here right now, okay with

275
00:20:58.599 --> 00:21:00.319
a horrible heads all.

276
00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:03.000
But do you think, yeah, we got to fix that.

277
00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:07.759
Do you think that loneliness can eat at a person,

278
00:21:08.039 --> 00:21:12.559
like make them feel a lot worse than what.

279
00:21:14.039 --> 00:21:18.240
Of course, because not everybody has a friend like you

280
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:21.839
or I or you know what I'm saying. Not everybody

281
00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:27.000
has that. And these generations that grew up through internet

282
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:34.480
and talking text versus actually communicating, like, they're all fucked up.

283
00:21:35.079 --> 00:21:38.119
I mean, do you like, can we blame them? Like

284
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:42.319
they don't They don't know how to socialize, They don't

285
00:21:42.359 --> 00:21:45.279
know how to really interact with people. And I think

286
00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:47.440
the older you get, and we've talked about this, like

287
00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:50.000
the older you get, the harder it is to make friends.

288
00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:55.839
Yeah you know, so like yeah, it's this is why

289
00:21:55.960 --> 00:22:00.200
I think this is important, Like when you're a child,

290
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.079
when you're a teenager, that you're socializing, that you're meeting

291
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:08.359
people that you're unfortunately going through some ship you know,

292
00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:12.759
arguments whatever, like these are the experiences we need as

293
00:22:12.839 --> 00:22:16.599
humans so that we also learn like what we like

294
00:22:16.680 --> 00:22:21.319
and don't like about people, what we need, who we

295
00:22:21.400 --> 00:22:23.319
are right now.

296
00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:29.519
You're you're actually absolutely correct. I mean sometimes I think

297
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:33.519
in some people when they get to that to that

298
00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:37.640
point where they're feeling like really lonely, like it's the

299
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:42.319
mind starts to drift. And you know, if you're if

300
00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:44.559
you feel lonely for so long, I think it kind

301
00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:48.839
of like rewires your brain a little bit, you.

302
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:54.279
Know exactly to those into the depression component, right.

303
00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:57.640
It rewires the brain a little bit. It makes you

304
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:01.920
start feeling you know, all often. You know, maybe you

305
00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:04.279
can even start feeling a little paranoid, like you know,

306
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:07.000
you put walls up and everything because you know, you

307
00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.960
don't know what's going on with yourself and how are

308
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:12.480
you dealing with certain things.

309
00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:17.359
Yeah, this is why I think emotional connection is important.

310
00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:22.359
Emotional connection, Yeah, yeah, I think I think that that's

311
00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:27.599
very important. You know, emotional connections are very important because

312
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:28.920
I mean.

313
00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:36.000
Because it's more than surface bullshit comments and conversations. You

314
00:23:36.039 --> 00:23:39.920
know what I'm saying, Like, it's not the hey, how's

315
00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:43.160
it going, and people are like I'm good, Oh, I'm

316
00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:47.839
good too, and a conversation ends, you know, or somebody

317
00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:50.799
post something and then there's like a comment, big comment

318
00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:56.599
or something like. To me, anybody can comment on my social.

319
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.519
Media, it's more about who's.

320
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:02.240
Actually reaching out to me and talking to me congres

321
00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:07.799
like you share something that's important to you. I would

322
00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:12.200
hope that people your actual friends are reaching out to

323
00:24:12.279 --> 00:24:19.039
you directly to congratulate you and not just show faith

324
00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:24.319
on social media. You get what I'm saying, Like, because

325
00:24:24.359 --> 00:24:34.359
to me, that superficial relationship versus actual friendships that actually

326
00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:39.359
have that emotional connection. And when I say emotional connection,

327
00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:43.079
I mean like I know this person. They make you know,

328
00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:47.359
we laugh, We can make each other laugh, We've cried together,

329
00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:57.119
you know, like there's been actual real conversations had. So Like,

330
00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:01.519
if you don't have friendships like that, I feel like

331
00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:05.880
if I'd be easier to get in your head and

332
00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:10.640
feel if you are feeling lonely, Like that's just not

333
00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:12.359
a good pose either.

334
00:25:13.079 --> 00:25:18.000
Right, Yeah, I mean and and and it gets it

335
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:22.000
gets everybody. It's not it's it's not just older people,

336
00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:24.759
it's not just younger people. It's everybody. Everybody at some

337
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:29.680
point in their life feels you know, shitty. You know,

338
00:25:29.799 --> 00:25:32.440
I mean even if you're out there scrolling three four

339
00:25:32.440 --> 00:25:35.359
o'clock in the morning. You know what I'm saying to

340
00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:40.240
Grandma sitting outside City Hall steps. You know what I'm saying,

341
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:44.559
hanging out with the bes and the Beheatheras and ship everybody.

342
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:47.799
You can look at people and and and see that

343
00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:50.799
you know, they're out there saying they enjoy themselves, But

344
00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:53.200
who's really really enjoying themselves?

345
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:56.640
I think we all could put a face up, you

346
00:25:56.759 --> 00:26:01.559
know what I'm saying, Like, no work, we do it right,

347
00:26:01.880 --> 00:26:05.079
We put a different face on for work. Everybody does it.

348
00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:08.079
Like the minute you're walking through those doors, you have

349
00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:12.480
to be a representative of where you're working or who

350
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:17.039
you're working for. So like you're not just walking into

351
00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:21.279
a place like whatever. You know, you have to be

352
00:26:21.480 --> 00:26:24.400
dressed apart and acting the part.

353
00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:30.759
Yeah, I get, I completely understand. And the ship is too.

354
00:26:30.839 --> 00:26:35.680
Is that to me me personally? My my you know,

355
00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:43.160
my my personal opinion on this is a screen isn't

356
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:46.599
gonna Is it gonna save you? Can't sex, screen can't

357
00:26:46.599 --> 00:26:51.200
save you. You know what I mean? You know, when

358
00:26:51.319 --> 00:26:54.759
when we chase, when we chase connections through the screen

359
00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:57.720
and through the Internet, and you know, through likes and

360
00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:02.319
views and hearts, and all the digital all the digital hits,

361
00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:06.279
everything you get through the internet. You know, I really

362
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:11.839
think that real connection needs to be present.

363
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:17.960
You know, well, yeah, I mean look at people all

364
00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:23.599
like they're celebrities, people who have money, people who have families.

365
00:27:24.119 --> 00:27:26.640
You would think they have it all that they're happy.

366
00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:31.519
Look at Robin Williams, Like, to me, that's the prime

367
00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:35.920
example of not even just him. There are a few

368
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:41.160
celebrities that committed suicide that where or died by suicide.

369
00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:49.559
Sorry that basically like we're shocking because whatever they showed

370
00:27:49.599 --> 00:27:54.039
face or whatever, they they seem so happy. They seem

371
00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:58.119
like life was good, their family loved them. It wasn't

372
00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:02.119
even you know, like, yeah, did.

373
00:28:01.960 --> 00:28:06.200
You see the video that's out there that they it

374
00:28:06.279 --> 00:28:07.599
was you know how you know how the dude the

375
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:09.960
dude he has that that he drives a car with

376
00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:13.200
celebrities and they they talk, ship, they sing, they do

377
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:14.920
a whole bunch of different things in the car while

378
00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:18.319
they're driving and recording. Yeah, yeah, I think it's the

379
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:20.160
British dude. I don't know who he is.

380
00:28:20.359 --> 00:28:22.240
Yeah, I don't hear karaoke.

381
00:28:22.920 --> 00:28:25.640
Yeah he did the one with Lincoln Park. Did you

382
00:28:25.640 --> 00:28:26.279
see that one?

383
00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:27.039
No.

384
00:28:27.559 --> 00:28:31.200
Twenty four to forty eight hours before Chester Bennington took

385
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:37.559
his own life. They recorded it, right, and they did

386
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:40.119
that karaoke carpool thing, yeah.

387
00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:44.160
Which is a fun, happy.

388
00:28:42.599 --> 00:28:45.720
Right, and they were singing, they were laughing, having a

389
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:49.680
good time. And then a day or two later, like

390
00:28:50.240 --> 00:28:57.240
I was that that was terrible. Yeah, it's terrible. I mean,

391
00:28:57.440 --> 00:28:59.279
it just it just goes. It just goes to show

392
00:28:59.359 --> 00:29:04.480
to the point that you just said, you know, it's

393
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:05.720
it's it's fucked up. Man.

394
00:29:06.599 --> 00:29:11.000
Oh man, I just learned about like someone with faith

395
00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:19.000
for work or whatever, there's through families. There is a husband,

396
00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:26.519
he lives on some charity bike thing for motorcycles and

397
00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:31.160
you know, raising money for kids or some shit like that.

398
00:29:31.279 --> 00:29:35.680
Something really great gets killed in a car, a truck

399
00:29:35.880 --> 00:29:42.200
hits him or something car accident. Right, he dies, His

400
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:46.880
wife commits suicide and she fights out after she finds

401
00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:50.079
out that he said it everything, she picks her own bike.

402
00:29:51.079 --> 00:29:51.680
Wow.

403
00:29:53.559 --> 00:29:58.720
So you know what the mind.

404
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:01.680
Can suck you up?

405
00:30:02.519 --> 00:30:08.160
Oh? Absolutely yeah. It can be your best friend or

406
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:09.400
your worst fucking enemy.

407
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:15.039
Man. And if you have like mental illnesses to deal

408
00:30:15.079 --> 00:30:20.920
with on top of that already, it's so difficult. Like

409
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:25.000
my husband never understands like why I'm so tired all

410
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:28.720
the time, and I'm just like I don't know either.

411
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:32.279
I'm trying to find out, but it's really like this

412
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:35.839
is part of the symptoms of my mental illnesses is

413
00:30:36.680 --> 00:30:39.839
I'm tired. My mind is going all the time. And

414
00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:43.039
when I'm at work, even if I'm I'm not at

415
00:30:43.119 --> 00:30:47.359
work for an eight hour day, like it's it's a lot.

416
00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:52.599
It's a lot for me and and my body like everything,

417
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:56.440
my brain is like I'm done, I'm done, right, And

418
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:01.079
it's crazy because I remember for a time where that

419
00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:04.119
wasn't the case for me. But the I don't know

420
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:07.680
if it's that I'm getting older. I mean, I'm going

421
00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:11.119
to be getting bloodwork done just to check, you know,

422
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:13.440
stuff out.

423
00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:15.079
But like.

424
00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:24.119
That, there's there are symptoms that come with having certain things, uh,

425
00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:35.440
you know, especially when it's trifecta of depression, anxiety, and ADHD,

426
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:40.880
because those are all like create like things that are

427
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:46.480
like interacting and fucking with each other. Depression is is

428
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:54.200
the down not wanting. Anxiety is a constant, NonStop type

429
00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:59.799
of thing, right, and then the ADHD is like who's

430
00:31:59.799 --> 00:32:05.359
focusing on what that's not happening, you know, like this

431
00:32:05.480 --> 00:32:11.920
is not you know, and and unfortunately, like there's medications

432
00:32:12.039 --> 00:32:16.000
that don't really work, they're too the ones that do

433
00:32:16.119 --> 00:32:19.119
are too expensive. Insurance doesn't cover all of it. God

434
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.519
God knows now what's going to happen with our insurances.

435
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:26.039
But like these are the things that we're going to

436
00:32:26.079 --> 00:32:33.599
be dealing with moving forward, which scares me, Like there

437
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:44.240
are so many medications that people rely on to stay sane. Yeah,

438
00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:47.799
Like I I'm on meant to make sure that I

439
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:54.240
don't fall into a depressive episode because I have manic

440
00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:58.799
the impressive disorder. Like if I don't take my medication,

441
00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:08.039
like I get like suicidal ideation, Like it's it's not

442
00:33:08.559 --> 00:33:13.319
like I'm sad sometimes type of things. For me, I

443
00:33:13.400 --> 00:33:17.480
have an actual disorder, you know, along with all the

444
00:33:17.519 --> 00:33:22.759
other things that that fall into it. And and then

445
00:33:22.839 --> 00:33:28.599
like with hormones, I have PCOS. So then like I

446
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:32.240
have all these issues with my hormones, I produce too

447
00:33:32.279 --> 00:33:36.599
much tystoscroone. I you know, have to deal with hair

448
00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:40.000
on my fucking chin and like a mustache and shit

449
00:33:40.079 --> 00:33:43.480
if I don't take care of it, like you know,

450
00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:46.640
some women wear that shit proudly. I don't want no,

451
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:51.640
thank you, I don't want that shit. Ut me, I don't.

452
00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:55.039
And you know, like I feel like I.

453
00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:03.759
Feel like the the oddor whoever that was plucking the

454
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:06.359
mom's hair in my big fact Greek wedding and she's like,

455
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:08.239
oh god, hold, let me get you on.

456
00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:11.840
And it's like that's how I feel every day. I'm

457
00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:12.840
like plucking hair.

458
00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:14.920
Even though I shouldn't be doing that. I really need

459
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:20.800
like hair removal. If anybody got some suggestions for that,

460
00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:24.559
I will be grateful because I do need some of that.

461
00:34:26.519 --> 00:34:28.320
Oh I thought I bought it.

462
00:34:29.159 --> 00:34:33.360
I've bought a machine. Uh and it does wonders.

463
00:34:33.800 --> 00:34:36.840
Yeah, okay, we'll have to talk on about the man.

464
00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:39.119
Or.

465
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:42.639
I'm also like, there have been some creams. See this

466
00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:44.039
is how then as get me.

467
00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:50.039
Social media, but like I want, like there's a cream

468
00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:54.760
that's a hair removal. I would prefer that. Listen, you're

469
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:58.760
in the minority. So this is like what's gonna happen.

470
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:03.320
The conversations just going to go places. Sometimes us women

471
00:35:03.519 --> 00:35:09.639
were networking here try to figure it out. But yeah, regardless,

472
00:35:09.719 --> 00:35:13.840
like a lot of the shit is hormonal, a lot

473
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:17.519
like all these things plan into the brain. The hormones,

474
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:25.639
the just our organs. Everything happen because right because like

475
00:35:25.719 --> 00:35:28.480
all these things have a purpose, but they also all

476
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:35.639
interfere with our brain, how we think, how we cope,

477
00:35:36.280 --> 00:35:43.480
how we process, like and if we're not out there

478
00:35:43.559 --> 00:35:48.760
getting the help that we need, that's a problem, Like

479
00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:52.800
there you need to get the help that like I can't.

480
00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:56.199
It bothers me to know people that suffer from things

481
00:35:56.599 --> 00:36:00.679
I have issues but refuse to go to therapy, refuse

482
00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:04.199
to get on medication or something to help them to

483
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:08.880
make it better, and just continually be pissed and still

484
00:36:08.920 --> 00:36:12.679
blaming people and shit, It's like, no own your shit,

485
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:16.480
you know, Like there are certain things that we need

486
00:36:16.519 --> 00:36:19.880
to own in our life. There are certain things that

487
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:22.639
we need to do in order to move on from

488
00:36:22.679 --> 00:36:27.920
certain trauma from our past. There are certain conversations sometimes

489
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:32.119
that need to be had with certain people or whatever

490
00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:37.639
the case may be of writing a letter, fucking just

491
00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:45.679
there are things that people should be doing to break

492
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:51.559
that cycle that we our generation are. We are the

493
00:36:51.679 --> 00:36:56.199
cycle breakers, like we're supposed to be the cycle breakers.

494
00:36:56.239 --> 00:37:01.559
So we want, because we want our children, your grandchildren

495
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:08.199
to have better to not do the same shit that

496
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:11.840
got us in the positions that we got ourselves in.

497
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:15.800
This is why this continues to happen. Like, you know,

498
00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:19.519
we kept telling people don't be hitting you're kids so

499
00:37:19.679 --> 00:37:23.800
god damn much that don't help them, and you know

500
00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:27.840
we're seeing more and more the effects of that, Like

501
00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:31.199
you can't continue this. This is not like, well this

502
00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:33.880
my dad did this to me, so I'm gonna no,

503
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:37.440
that's stupid. First of all, when your dad did that

504
00:37:37.480 --> 00:37:41.360
to you, you were very upset. It made you fear

505
00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:45.199
your father. You also now don't speak to this like

506
00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:48.199
you want nothing to do with this person because they

507
00:37:48.280 --> 00:37:51.599
mistreated you. They shouldn't have done the things they did

508
00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:54.639
to you. Like that's the other thing is like owning

509
00:37:54.760 --> 00:38:00.360
up and like I said before, like sometimes you need

510
00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:06.480
that therapist, that person on the outside to say, like, yeah,

511
00:38:06.639 --> 00:38:09.559
you're right to feel this way because so and so

512
00:38:09.960 --> 00:38:16.760
was wrong. You don't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. You know, Like,

513
00:38:17.159 --> 00:38:24.159
you can't heal unless you do work. Like I feel

514
00:38:24.199 --> 00:38:29.079
like people want quick fixes for everything, and it doesn't

515
00:38:29.159 --> 00:38:34.320
work like that. You can like hide a lot of

516
00:38:34.440 --> 00:38:40.880
things easily, like people will like this fits into exactly

517
00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:44.280
what you're saying. People acting happy and all this shit.

518
00:38:44.320 --> 00:38:48.400
They're doing this, they're impickable. They're they're going here, there is,

519
00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:51.440
they're part of a charity, they're all this stuff, but

520
00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.480
they're fucking lonely as fuck and hurting inside when they

521
00:38:55.519 --> 00:39:02.480
go home, Like and they're not talking about because there's

522
00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:07.000
that hole that's not being fulfilled, a need that's not

523
00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:11.679
being fulfilled. Something isn't being supported or something isn't being

524
00:39:11.800 --> 00:39:18.960
spoken about. And we have this stupid societal and cultural

525
00:39:19.079 --> 00:39:26.639
thing around people being like self aware and open about

526
00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:29.360
what they're feeling, which is so weird. Like that's not

527
00:39:29.480 --> 00:39:36.599
a weakness to be open about what's wrong. It's not

528
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:42.199
a weakness to cry when you're hurt or something hurts you.

529
00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:50.400
That's a real human emotion. Like that's like the crying

530
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:58.400
it's almost a is the word atomic, not automatic response,

531
00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:03.679
but like a natural response. The body needs to let

532
00:40:03.760 --> 00:40:08.280
out the frustration, the whatever it is. That's what tears

533
00:40:08.320 --> 00:40:11.760
are like. It's it's a real emotion, Like when you're

534
00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:16.079
fucking dying, laughing and almost pissing your pants, that's an

535
00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:19.519
emotion that like you're not controlling. This is just like

536
00:40:20.079 --> 00:40:21.320
what you're feeling.

537
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:24.519
In that moments you can't control.

538
00:40:24.920 --> 00:40:28.719
Yeah, you know, so okay, Like I don't know if

539
00:40:28.719 --> 00:40:32.000
it happens for the females and veil, but like.

540
00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:38.599
My whole life, if I like, you've never laughed so hard.

541
00:40:38.400 --> 00:40:47.679
And you peed, like, like laugh so hard, you pissed yourself. No, no,

542
00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:54.159
I have, definitely I have. And I don't be like

543
00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:56.639
full on this myself, you know, but just like some

544
00:40:56.880 --> 00:41:00.559
pe I was like I was an adult that did

545
00:41:00.559 --> 00:41:02.800
that happen to my whole life. I'm just saying, like,

546
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:07.679
as an adult, I remember this happening, like crying, laughing,

547
00:41:08.519 --> 00:41:11.760
and like to the point that you see, I didn't

548
00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:15.239
see videos of it, so you just you just don't though.

549
00:41:20.679 --> 00:41:23.960
I guess as a as a male, I'm gonna look

550
00:41:23.960 --> 00:41:27.000
at the comments and not get myself kicked out of here.

551
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:37.519
Even though I was such a love But so all right,

552
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:38.480
so let's.

553
00:41:38.239 --> 00:41:44.320
See the funniest people is the most lusty tumented people

554
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:53.039
through Yeah yeah, oh sorry, if I put off with

555
00:41:53.440 --> 00:42:00.280
wakes affect, definitely sounds like that. Maria's about very difficult going.

556
00:42:00.199 --> 00:42:02.880
To you're going through going through the messages. You can

557
00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:03.840
see it on the screen.

558
00:42:04.679 --> 00:42:07.800
No, bro, I've got small eyes and it's on my phone.

559
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:10.320
I don't have a beautiful big laptop in part of me.

560
00:42:10.519 --> 00:42:15.559
Like you, it's very difficult to get a diagnosis, especially

561
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:19.000
as a woman. Oh yeah, you could have a whole

562
00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:24.480
fucking conversation on that one. Women also tend to go

563
00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:29.719
undiagnosed a lot of mental health problems. Uh be asking

564
00:42:29.800 --> 00:42:35.320
if atrials's machine that you're using, and then we're talking

565
00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:40.079
about perrymenopause. I know because I'm probably.

566
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:43.960
In that a paraly for perrymenopause.

567
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:46.880
It's like a test I think that you have to

568
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:49.280
take and it's not even something that they just do,

569
00:42:49.440 --> 00:42:52.719
like you have to ask for it. It's just such bullshit.

570
00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:56.360
And I don't think that it's because probably insurance doesn't

571
00:42:56.360 --> 00:42:57.440
cover it, because they're.

572
00:42:57.239 --> 00:42:58.920
About the sumbags.

573
00:42:59.880 --> 00:43:02.800
I remember asking you for the doctor marin therapist in

574
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:05.400
high school. My dance answer was no, daughter of mine

575
00:43:05.639 --> 00:43:06.559
going to a shrink.

576
00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:08.400
People will think they're crazy.

577
00:43:09.039 --> 00:43:11.440
Yeah, I mean, yep, that's what it was.

578
00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:14.480
Oh I did it. I didn't get myself kicked off.

579
00:43:16.119 --> 00:43:16.960
Oh nice.

580
00:43:17.559 --> 00:43:18.559
I'm proud of myself.

581
00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:22.039
But yeah, I think, like, holy shit.

582
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:26.599
It's just it's crazy. It's crazy.

583
00:43:26.760 --> 00:43:28.920
Yes, I don't know how it is for men, you're

584
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:33.039
gonna have to speak for the man experience, but for women,

585
00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:36.599
I do feel that it is difficult to get diagnosed

586
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:42.000
with things. I didn't get diagnosed with my PCOS until

587
00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:48.079
I was in my late thirties, as well as depression.

588
00:43:49.639 --> 00:43:54.440
The other things actually came closer to for my forties.

589
00:43:54.480 --> 00:43:58.559
I think whenever I was living down the shore, that's

590
00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:00.960
when I got die diagnosed.

591
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:02.440
With a lot of this stuff.

592
00:44:02.519 --> 00:44:07.960
So, yeah, it's sad and it shouldn't be that way.

593
00:44:08.119 --> 00:44:11.840
And now I've heard as well, it's very difficult to

594
00:44:11.880 --> 00:44:19.480
diagnose young women with H on the autism spectrum. Auctions

595
00:44:19.519 --> 00:44:25.119
and disorder spectrum. That's also another thing. And the more

596
00:44:25.239 --> 00:44:28.719
tests that they have, the more people that are realizing

597
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:43.679
that they're neurodivergent and may have these I prefer thank you, okay, neurospicy.

598
00:44:42.119 --> 00:44:44.559
Whatever that means.

599
00:44:44.360 --> 00:44:45.639
You don't you don't know.

600
00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:48.519
I don't even know. I don't mean what she said,

601
00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:49.639
but it just sounded funny.

602
00:44:50.559 --> 00:44:56.639
Well, neuro divergent is the word she calls it, neuro spicy,

603
00:44:58.559 --> 00:45:02.400
but neuro diverse it is meaning like it is a

604
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:05.400
scope now where it's before.

605
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:11.840
Only autistic people were considered neurodivergent, but it turns out

606
00:45:11.880 --> 00:45:20.719
that it's also people with adhd Uh. It's right, like

607
00:45:21.199 --> 00:45:24.599
what once was aspergers now isn't any morse now, just

608
00:45:24.679 --> 00:45:29.719
as on the spectrum. So they changed it because there

609
00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:34.639
it literally is a spectrum, so you can be within

610
00:45:34.760 --> 00:45:39.599
that spectrum in different ways. So they call that the neurodiversion.

611
00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:44.880
Sounds like a movie I know, like.

612
00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:49.559
Remember like Minority Poor stuff like that kind of stuff.

613
00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:53.480
It's just reminds me of like all those sci fi

614
00:45:53.599 --> 00:45:56.719
movies we watched. That was like, you know, they're going

615
00:45:56.800 --> 00:46:00.519
to take all your information. Everything's going to be like

616
00:46:00.599 --> 00:46:03.559
your phone or your skin or your eye or whatever.

617
00:46:03.639 --> 00:46:08.199
You know, like.

618
00:46:08.800 --> 00:46:11.400
You're happening girl. It's just not cool.

619
00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:14.039
The ship the ship.

620
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:17.440
About wait, I bro stop with.

621
00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:22.119
The ship about Minority report was that you can walk

622
00:46:22.159 --> 00:46:24.199
in he was walking in the mall and the cameras

623
00:46:24.239 --> 00:46:25.239
will get in your eye.

624
00:46:26.360 --> 00:46:30.880
Looking at your information.

625
00:46:31.239 --> 00:46:34.440
You can't h like they had like I told you

626
00:46:34.480 --> 00:46:37.840
with your d NA ship your fuck that boy. Now

627
00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:42.679
they got you gave us the DNA.

628
00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:47.119
That's the sober Oh my god, it's just crazy.

629
00:46:48.440 --> 00:46:52.159
Yeah, it's wild because and and and the ship about

630
00:46:52.159 --> 00:46:55.920
that film too, it was. It wasn't it about locking

631
00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:57.719
somebody up before they committed the crime.

632
00:46:58.840 --> 00:47:03.719
Yes, yeah, it was all about pre It was the three.

633
00:47:04.239 --> 00:47:08.760
Yeah, it was about these three neuro divergent people who

634
00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:14.679
could sense telepathy or telepathically that someone they could tell

635
00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:16.880
kind of the pature, they could tell if somebody was

636
00:47:16.920 --> 00:47:18.119
going to commit a crime.

637
00:47:18.760 --> 00:47:24.679
Yeah, damn, it's amazing. But me digressed.

638
00:47:25.480 --> 00:47:33.159
The point was that, yes, unfortunately, like I'm sure that mengo,

639
00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:36.440
I'm diagnosed, because men don't even like go to the doctor.

640
00:47:36.679 --> 00:47:39.679
So the thing the thing about the thing about dudes is,

641
00:47:39.679 --> 00:47:42.239
and I'm gonna speak on it because I'm a dude,

642
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:43.280
is that.

643
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:47.360
You know, it's it's your pride, your ego.

644
00:47:49.199 --> 00:47:58.159
Thank you, doctor, I appreciate that. No, it's true, it's pride, ego.

645
00:47:58.440 --> 00:48:01.519
You know what I'm saying. It's they don't a lot

646
00:48:01.559 --> 00:48:04.519
of men don't. I'm I'm not. I'm not that dude,

647
00:48:04.559 --> 00:48:07.039
but a lot of men they don't. They don't want

648
00:48:07.039 --> 00:48:09.480
to they don't want to deal with that ship. It's like, no,

649
00:48:09.599 --> 00:48:12.400
that's not me, man, I'm not. I ain't got ship

650
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:14.920
wrong with me. Man, I'm good. Now, you're not good, bro?

651
00:48:16.119 --> 00:48:18.519
You know what I'm saying you're not good. You're definitely

652
00:48:18.559 --> 00:48:20.440
not good. Why the fuck do you think you're good.

653
00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:24.239
You're out there fucking doing ship you shouldn't be doing,

654
00:48:25.119 --> 00:48:25.880
you know what I mean.

655
00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:30.199
It's my biggest thing, Like wouldn't you want to know, Like,

656
00:48:30.239 --> 00:48:32.880
wouldn't you want to know if something is up with you?

657
00:48:33.039 --> 00:48:34.840
And that's why they don't.

658
00:48:36.199 --> 00:48:39.239
To deal with anything that makes it look like they

659
00:48:39.320 --> 00:48:41.079
are weak or need assistance.

660
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:48.480
Now, listen, you're the biggest babies when you get sick

661
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:50.960
at the end of the world.

662
00:48:51.519 --> 00:48:56.440
Nah, man, don't even don't even go there. Listen, listen

663
00:48:56.559 --> 00:49:02.880
to me. I'm I wanted them. I'm wanted them dudes

664
00:49:02.920 --> 00:49:05.159
that if I feel if if I feel a sniffle,

665
00:49:05.639 --> 00:49:07.480
I'm going to the doctor, I'm not gonna come. I'm

666
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:10.159
not gonna sit there and be like yo when I'm

667
00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:14.000
not gonna wait till I'm half dead in my bed.

668
00:49:14.079 --> 00:49:15.159
I can't get out of bed.

669
00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:19.639
And oh but most of the men that I know

670
00:49:19.840 --> 00:49:23.440
that I've treated all that, yeah, they're like, no.

671
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:27.199
I'm proactive. I'm like once that, once my mind, my

672
00:49:27.239 --> 00:49:29.400
fingernail hurt, I'm like, doc, let me tell you something.

673
00:49:29.400 --> 00:49:31.840
I got this little sting in my fingernail. I don't

674
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:34.199
know what it is, you know what I mean? Like,

675
00:49:34.280 --> 00:49:36.840
I'm not I'm proactive, man, I don't.

676
00:49:37.639 --> 00:49:41.039
I feel like one people hit forty five, they actually

677
00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:43.840
really start going to the doctor, and then you don't stop.

678
00:49:44.079 --> 00:49:48.719
You literally start adding doctors to your fucking resume. It's like,

679
00:49:49.159 --> 00:49:51.679
all right, what specialists do I need to see? Dow

680
00:49:52.440 --> 00:49:54.519
And it's like, how do I pronounce that? Did I

681
00:49:54.559 --> 00:49:55.039
spell that?

682
00:49:55.239 --> 00:49:59.639
Right? I don't think so, you know, like, no.

683
00:50:00.079 --> 00:50:02.880
The ship about the mental health thing, right, it comes

684
00:50:02.880 --> 00:50:08.519
to men in mental health, like I think, I think

685
00:50:08.519 --> 00:50:12.480
they look at it as you know, they don't. They

686
00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:14.559
don't want to be labeled. They don't want to be judged.

687
00:50:14.599 --> 00:50:17.840
They don't want to be seen, you know what I'm saying,

688
00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:21.599
Like most dudes. Most dudes don't want to deal with that.

689
00:50:21.880 --> 00:50:26.559
They don't want to be labeled, you know, whether it

690
00:50:26.599 --> 00:50:31.440
be depressed or whether it be you know, suicidal, homicidal,

691
00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:32.920
any kind of sidle. You know what I'm saying. They

692
00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:35.119
don't want to be labeled as any of that. Ships,

693
00:50:35.159 --> 00:50:36.480
So they.

694
00:50:36.119 --> 00:50:43.679
Tell you we need to know if they're hole, you.

695
00:50:43.679 --> 00:50:47.000
Know what I mean. Nah, But as far as far

696
00:50:47.000 --> 00:50:51.840
as you know, I always I always preach, you know,

697
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:54.320
go go get help. You know what I'm saying, don't

698
00:50:54.360 --> 00:50:57.840
don't hide behind you know those those tears of a clown.

699
00:50:57.880 --> 00:50:59.360
You gotta go out there and you gotta do what

700
00:50:59.400 --> 00:51:01.480
you gotta do to me. Make sure you're good, because

701
00:51:01.519 --> 00:51:04.239
you're not gonna be good to anybody if you're not

702
00:51:04.280 --> 00:51:07.239
good to yourself. You know, you're not gonna be any

703
00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:10.440
good to anyone if you're not good to yourself. You know,

704
00:51:10.559 --> 00:51:12.400
if you don't, if you don't, if you don't care

705
00:51:12.519 --> 00:51:15.519
enough about yourself to go get the help you need.

706
00:51:15.960 --> 00:51:17.880
What makes you think you're gonna be good to Dora?

707
00:51:18.480 --> 00:51:20.199
You know what I'm saying, Like, you can't, you can't

708
00:51:20.199 --> 00:51:22.960
be good to anybody if if if you're not, if

709
00:51:22.960 --> 00:51:25.719
you're not taking care of you, you know what I'm saying,

710
00:51:25.719 --> 00:51:28.000
nobody's nobody's gonna want to nobody's gonna want to deal

711
00:51:28.039 --> 00:51:32.199
with you, especially if you're if you're out there, Oh

712
00:51:32.280 --> 00:51:36.159
my god, it's terrible, man, It's terrible what goes on

713
00:51:36.239 --> 00:51:39.960
out there these days, you know. And this the ship

714
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:43.280
that the ship that that pisces me off most is

715
00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:47.400
that if you're speaking to someone and talking to someone

716
00:51:47.480 --> 00:51:53.119
and they say to you, so tell me a little

717
00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:57.840
bit about yourself. All right, here's a little bit about me. Okay, boom,

718
00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:03.280
we're talking about you know, yeah, we're talking about a

719
00:52:03.320 --> 00:52:05.639
whole bunch of different shit. I'm telling you about me.

720
00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:10.079
I'm telling you about you know, my smiles and the

721
00:52:10.159 --> 00:52:12.760
good ship. But then you say to me, then you

722
00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:15.639
ask me, let's go a little bit deeper. Let's take

723
00:52:15.639 --> 00:52:19.079
a little bit deeper. Tell me more about you, about

724
00:52:19.119 --> 00:52:23.119
who you are. Well, if that's the route you want

725
00:52:23.159 --> 00:52:27.000
to go, all right, let's let's do that. Well. My

726
00:52:27.119 --> 00:52:32.440
name is Big holy On. Okay, I suffer from bipolar

727
00:52:32.519 --> 00:52:40.480
to I'm manic depressive, all right. I have PTSD, borderline

728
00:52:40.519 --> 00:52:45.760
personality disorder and ADHD. You know what I hear after

729
00:52:45.800 --> 00:52:50.239
that fucking cricket, not even the crickets. The crickets done

730
00:52:50.360 --> 00:52:58.400
left the conversation, you hear, yo, Like the crickets are

731
00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:02.960
even gone. You don't hear. You don't have ship. What

732
00:53:03.079 --> 00:53:09.480
you're here is hello, like where everybody go? You know

733
00:53:09.559 --> 00:53:12.639
what I'm saying, It's just it's just crazy how people

734
00:53:12.840 --> 00:53:17.280
people They say that society is becoming more stigma free.

735
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:23.360
That's bullshit. It's bullshit because there there's there's nothing stigma

736
00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:26.679
free about society these days. Nothing.

737
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:30.639
I mean, I think got both as women or men,

738
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:34.679
that that's just to be baggage to somebody, you know

739
00:53:34.719 --> 00:53:37.679
what I'm saying. Like I've had people like if I

740
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:43.000
told them things about me, they haven't been like oh okay,

741
00:53:43.519 --> 00:53:45.000
and they don't want to.

742
00:53:44.960 --> 00:53:45.440
Deal with that.

743
00:53:45.639 --> 00:53:47.920
So it's like, fine, but your way out the door.

744
00:53:48.280 --> 00:53:53.239
I'd rather go then stick around. Like if they can't

745
00:53:53.239 --> 00:53:55.559
even stick around to find out more about you and

746
00:53:55.639 --> 00:54:01.039
see what you're doing about those things, then that's on them.

747
00:54:01.159 --> 00:54:03.440
Yeah, but he also came up with a lot. He

748
00:54:03.480 --> 00:54:06.480
didn't just come up with, Oh I'm bipolar or oh

749
00:54:06.559 --> 00:54:07.960
I'm borderline personality.

750
00:54:08.239 --> 00:54:12.880
He's got no friends exactly.

751
00:54:13.079 --> 00:54:16.400
He has like half of the whole what is it

752
00:54:16.440 --> 00:54:19.320
called the DSM or whatever, Yeah, the DSM five.

753
00:54:20.199 --> 00:54:22.360
But it's funny because it's it's the same thing like

754
00:54:22.400 --> 00:54:25.159
when I guys told you a while back about a

755
00:54:25.199 --> 00:54:29.199
guy that I was talking to who had placed on

756
00:54:29.360 --> 00:54:33.199
his profile that he was disabled, And so when I

757
00:54:33.239 --> 00:54:36.039
ask about disabled, what does that mean to you? What

758
00:54:36.079 --> 00:54:40.039
does that look like for you? You know, He's like, well,

759
00:54:40.079 --> 00:54:44.400
I have diabetes and that's all it gave me. And

760
00:54:44.440 --> 00:54:47.480
then down the road, not even like a month or two,

761
00:54:48.239 --> 00:54:52.079
I'm like, dude, you don't just have diabetes. You're forty

762
00:54:52.079 --> 00:54:55.760
five years old, and you, because of your diabetes, have

763
00:54:55.960 --> 00:54:59.159
both your legs, like both your feet amputated with your

764
00:54:59.199 --> 00:55:04.360
toes uh not even a quadruple bypass, but a quintuple

765
00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:11.480
bypass uh, blood poisoning. And you still because of your ego,

766
00:55:12.239 --> 00:55:14.199
when I tell you I know that you need to

767
00:55:14.280 --> 00:55:18.840
eat because your breath you know, has a distinct smell,

768
00:55:19.039 --> 00:55:21.440
you deny it and then you end up shitting in

769
00:55:21.519 --> 00:55:25.760
my car, Like what the heck? So it's it's not

770
00:55:25.960 --> 00:55:29.920
just about being honest, it's about being transparent. What does

771
00:55:29.960 --> 00:55:33.760
all of that involve? But at the same time, accepting

772
00:55:33.800 --> 00:55:37.840
that this is your situation? Did you allow yourself to

773
00:55:37.880 --> 00:55:40.360
be put in this situation? Did you put yourself in

774
00:55:40.360 --> 00:55:43.079
that situation? And and like TG said, what are you

775
00:55:43.199 --> 00:55:46.360
doing about it? You know? Because I can. I can.

776
00:55:46.719 --> 00:55:50.079
One of the things that that is I can't say

777
00:55:50.119 --> 00:55:52.599
wrong with me, But one of my struggles with like

778
00:55:52.760 --> 00:55:56.960
the dating and meeting new people is I am very understanding,

779
00:55:57.079 --> 00:56:01.000
I am very accepting, I am very old and honest,

780
00:56:01.199 --> 00:56:05.000
and you know, try to accept people as they are,

781
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:08.920
but it's like when you're not because there are those

782
00:56:08.960 --> 00:56:12.960
superficial people out there that you know, depending on how

783
00:56:13.039 --> 00:56:15.719
old they are or whatever, it's like they don't want

784
00:56:15.719 --> 00:56:18.960
to deal with that much baggage. But at the same token,

785
00:56:19.000 --> 00:56:21.239
if you're not giving all that information, if you're not

786
00:56:21.280 --> 00:56:26.440
even secure in your own stuff and what part of

787
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:28.519
it you caused and what part of it is out

788
00:56:28.559 --> 00:56:31.239
of your control, then how do you expect somebody else

789
00:56:31.320 --> 00:56:32.079
to be okay with that?

790
00:56:32.840 --> 00:56:33.159
Right?

791
00:56:33.239 --> 00:56:35.960
So you know, sometimes the reality is not that they're

792
00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:40.079
not accepting, but that you're not even accepting yourself, And

793
00:56:40.119 --> 00:56:46.679
so it's causing that feeling of non acceptance. Because let

794
00:56:46.719 --> 00:56:49.239
me tell you something, whatever issues I got going on,

795
00:56:49.800 --> 00:56:53.239
I own them, whether I like it or not, they

796
00:56:53.280 --> 00:56:57.599
don't define me. I do do stuff like I am

797
00:56:57.679 --> 00:57:01.559
treating it. So my thing is this is the life

798
00:57:01.559 --> 00:57:04.039
the cards that I was dealt. I did what I

799
00:57:04.079 --> 00:57:07.159
could with them, and so be it. So this is

800
00:57:07.280 --> 00:57:11.480
my whole enchilada. And I give the enchilada and they're like, whoa, hey,

801
00:57:11.599 --> 00:57:13.880
I'd rather give it all to you up front. Let

802
00:57:13.960 --> 00:57:16.280
you know what you're in for and let you make

803
00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:20.400
that decision, then keep giving you meal piece and then

804
00:57:20.800 --> 00:57:23.599
eventually getting to this place where you feel like you've

805
00:57:23.599 --> 00:57:26.159
been lying to because I tell you, I felt like

806
00:57:26.360 --> 00:57:31.639
I had been lied to. Because yeah, because when you

807
00:57:31.760 --> 00:57:34.960
hide those things from somebody you're hoping to make a

808
00:57:35.039 --> 00:57:40.360
life with with, and they're only giving it to you

809
00:57:40.559 --> 00:57:42.599
little tiny bits by little tiny bits, And then you're

810
00:57:42.599 --> 00:57:44.800
giving it to them where it's like they have no

811
00:57:44.920 --> 00:57:49.079
choice but to notice because you just shit on their stuff.

812
00:57:49.599 --> 00:57:52.519
Like what, what do you expect them to say? Do

813
00:57:52.599 --> 00:57:56.280
you expect to that you know? So it's like you

814
00:57:56.320 --> 00:57:59.880
can't even trust me to be vulnerable enough to share

815
00:57:59.880 --> 00:58:02.519
this with me when you know all you have to

816
00:58:02.559 --> 00:58:04.639
do is just own it because it is your life,

817
00:58:04.960 --> 00:58:07.559
and whether people accept it or not, that's on them.

818
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:11.360
But would you rather hide it and be with somebody

819
00:58:11.360 --> 00:58:14.599
with a lie or give them all the information and

820
00:58:14.679 --> 00:58:18.039
let them walk away in the beginning, because they're saving

821
00:58:18.079 --> 00:58:21.920
you the problem, they're saving you the heartache. But you

822
00:58:22.039 --> 00:58:25.079
have to care and love you first. You have to

823
00:58:25.159 --> 00:58:28.280
accept who you have to accept who you are and

824
00:58:28.400 --> 00:58:32.039
be okay with the fact that most of this were

825
00:58:32.119 --> 00:58:35.119
eighty percent of this world is superficial and they're not

826
00:58:35.159 --> 00:58:37.079
going to stick around. But the truth is you don't

827
00:58:37.079 --> 00:58:40.639
want them sticking around anyway.

828
00:58:41.679 --> 00:58:48.519
Yeah, you're absolutely right, you don't want you to fucking

829
00:58:48.559 --> 00:58:49.880
stick around any God damn weight.

830
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:51.239
That was my five cents.

831
00:58:51.800 --> 00:58:54.000
Go kick fucking rocks.

832
00:58:54.760 --> 00:58:56.880
I don't want no fake ass bitches.

833
00:58:58.800 --> 00:59:02.239
Word if you if you you know, if you can't,

834
00:59:02.320 --> 00:59:07.280
if you can't handle it, man, you know, I mean, it's.

835
00:59:07.400 --> 00:59:09.519
Abody, get out of my kitchen.

836
00:59:11.199 --> 00:59:16.440
Well how big is the kitchen? Because look at it anyway.

837
00:59:17.880 --> 00:59:19.880
But look at it this way, corneil, And I want

838
00:59:19.880 --> 00:59:24.960
you to think about it. How many times or can

839
00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:27.800
you think of a time when you've had someone in

840
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:32.760
your life that accepted you for all of that but

841
00:59:32.880 --> 00:59:35.960
because you didn't believe enough in yourself or because you

842
00:59:35.960 --> 00:59:40.480
know you for whatever reason let that person slip through

843
00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:46.000
your fingers or left them hanging on and they accepted

844
00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:50.559
you for all that came with you, but you didn't

845
00:59:50.559 --> 00:59:51.679
do what you needed to do.

846
00:59:52.639 --> 00:59:59.960
M Let me think I've probably I've probably have had

847
01:00:00.039 --> 01:00:09.320
have come across a couple maybe one, one, maybe two. Yeah,

848
01:00:09.440 --> 01:00:11.400
that were that were really about that life, you know

849
01:00:11.440 --> 01:00:11.960
what I'm saying.

850
01:00:12.800 --> 01:00:15.840
And so we can't generalize.

851
01:00:15.719 --> 01:00:27.159
No, noah, noah, just yeah maybe and and oh ship,

852
01:00:27.679 --> 01:00:28.599
I'm going to drive.

853
01:00:28.519 --> 01:00:39.079
On and there is yet another reason why I'm still

854
01:00:39.119 --> 01:00:41.960
single because people don't like to be seen.

855
01:00:43.039 --> 01:00:54.400
Right, yeah, oh ship, that a good much for that.

856
01:00:54.639 --> 01:01:01.760
But yeah, I think, but I think, see, I I

857
01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:05.599
just I just personally think, me me, I think that

858
01:01:07.639 --> 01:01:12.280
some sometimes it's it's hard. It's not, it's not hard,

859
01:01:12.599 --> 01:01:20.360
but sometimes at some at some point, I was dealing

860
01:01:20.400 --> 01:01:22.760
with a lot of ship. I'm not gonna front at

861
01:01:22.800 --> 01:01:24.079
some point I was dealing with a lot of ship.

862
01:01:24.079 --> 01:01:26.400
I'm not dealing with a lot of ship, now what

863
01:01:26.400 --> 01:01:28.039
I'm saying. But at some point I was dealing with

864
01:01:28.079 --> 01:01:28.800
a lot of ship, and.

865
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:30.840
I was.

866
01:01:32.480 --> 01:01:35.519
More worried about and I'm gonna be honest, I was

867
01:01:35.639 --> 01:01:38.599
more worried about whether or not I was gonna wake

868
01:01:38.679 --> 01:01:41.159
up the next day, you know.

869
01:01:41.480 --> 01:01:43.840
And I had.

870
01:01:45.480 --> 01:01:49.840
A lot, I mean a lot of ship popping off

871
01:01:49.960 --> 01:01:53.559
and going on in my life that I shouldn't I

872
01:01:53.559 --> 01:01:56.039
shouldn't have been having to deal with m hm.

873
01:01:56.599 --> 01:01:58.920
And and.

874
01:02:01.800 --> 01:02:12.119
Yeah, I I I think the fact that I think

875
01:02:12.199 --> 01:02:20.519
the fact that I let someone you know, good you know,

876
01:02:23.400 --> 01:02:28.440
thick rocks and it's it's not. It's not because I

877
01:02:28.559 --> 01:02:32.639
didn't I didn't want it. It was just because I

878
01:02:32.800 --> 01:02:39.760
wasn't prepared myself to to to be in that kind

879
01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:44.840
of situation because I think, I think, I think, I'm

880
01:02:45.119 --> 01:02:49.559
I think I'm look I love. Now now I can

881
01:02:49.679 --> 01:02:53.960
honestly say I love, I love me some meat. You

882
01:02:54.039 --> 01:02:56.159
know what I mean? I love me some meat. And

883
01:02:56.320 --> 01:02:58.039
and I and I and I'm that dude. You know

884
01:02:58.079 --> 01:03:02.960
what I'm saying, Like I love, I love, I love myself, you.

885
01:03:02.960 --> 01:03:08.119
Know what I mean. Like beautiful, so beautiful to be that.

886
01:03:10.239 --> 01:03:14.679
I have a devil's advocates for you, though? What Because

887
01:03:15.199 --> 01:03:24.039
here's my thing. If someone is willing and wanting to accept.

888
01:03:23.719 --> 01:03:28.199
Someone as they are hell of a match, as they

889
01:03:28.360 --> 01:03:32.119
are right right, and they know.

890
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:37.840
This person needs work, You know you need work, why

891
01:03:37.960 --> 01:03:39.440
can't you still have that?

892
01:03:40.559 --> 01:03:47.039
And why can't why? What is the expectation on your end.

893
01:03:48.679 --> 01:03:53.000
That you think that you can't meet to just have

894
01:03:53.519 --> 01:03:57.199
someone in your vice in some way that is supportive

895
01:03:57.320 --> 01:03:57.800
and loving?

896
01:04:03.800 --> 01:04:05.360
What is question?

897
01:04:08.559 --> 01:04:10.679
I really forgot it. You should have wrote it down.

898
01:04:12.960 --> 01:04:14.639
What is the question?

899
01:04:17.719 --> 01:04:18.000
All right?

900
01:04:18.119 --> 01:04:21.960
I guess what I'm saying is what is what is

901
01:04:22.119 --> 01:04:24.880
your expectation? Like, what is it that you think you

902
01:04:25.079 --> 01:04:30.239
need to do or be in order to accept the

903
01:04:30.360 --> 01:04:35.599
love of someone else, Because you have someone who's saying

904
01:04:36.599 --> 01:04:40.519
that they're accepting you for who you are, who bees

905
01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:45.800
the future, who wants to build a path, let's say, okay,

906
01:04:47.519 --> 01:04:52.599
and the honest truth is you're afraid. But besides that,

907
01:04:54.079 --> 01:04:57.360
you having things going on in your life? Does that

908
01:04:57.519 --> 01:05:00.559
ever really stop? Like, let's be real, you.

909
01:05:00.639 --> 01:05:07.440
Can hold on, hold on a minute, yeah, hold up.

910
01:05:07.840 --> 01:05:10.760
I'm just I've tried to cause right now, I'm going

911
01:05:10.840 --> 01:05:15.079
through to think that I'm trying to understand that whole

912
01:05:15.280 --> 01:05:15.920
level of.

913
01:05:18.159 --> 01:05:20.679
Like what what is what is it on your end

914
01:05:20.800 --> 01:05:21.320
as a man?

915
01:05:22.440 --> 01:05:22.960
As a man?

916
01:05:23.639 --> 01:05:28.159
Why are you saying like I couldn't I can't with

917
01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:30.239
you now damn.

918
01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:32.239
Hold on?

919
01:05:33.360 --> 01:05:36.159
Yes, killing.

920
01:05:37.719 --> 01:05:45.280
Yeah right, no, so like I said, now so then yes,

921
01:05:45.800 --> 01:05:49.760
just that then I had I was, I was, I

922
01:05:49.880 --> 01:05:53.719
was coming out, oh every I was dealing with a

923
01:05:53.760 --> 01:05:57.480
whole lot of ship. I was dealing with with with

924
01:05:57.639 --> 01:06:00.599
with with work issues, I was dealing with issues, I

925
01:06:00.760 --> 01:06:05.599
was dealing with relationship issues. I was like like I

926
01:06:05.760 --> 01:06:09.880
was in with all kinds of shit, like shit that

927
01:06:10.159 --> 01:06:11.280
I should not have been dealing with.

928
01:06:12.039 --> 01:06:14.559
Right but that person seemed to be on board with

929
01:06:14.679 --> 01:06:14.920
all that.

930
01:06:16.039 --> 01:06:18.480
Right, This is my point. This is what I'm saying,

931
01:06:18.639 --> 01:06:22.960
Like I feel like maybe you were being one hundred

932
01:06:22.960 --> 01:06:28.199
percent honest and I think that like.

933
01:06:31.639 --> 01:06:35.239
I want to understand, like for real, I'm trying to understand.

934
01:06:34.920 --> 01:06:43.920
The man you here of all right, Yeah, Like I

935
01:06:44.800 --> 01:06:46.960
don't get it. Like that's the part I don't get.

936
01:06:47.400 --> 01:06:53.360
You find yourself someone who is willing and patient or

937
01:06:53.400 --> 01:06:57.719
whatever saying I'm here, and you don't allow them in

938
01:06:58.960 --> 01:07:02.159
to support you and the way that you need. Instead,

939
01:07:02.239 --> 01:07:03.960
you say, well, I'm not ready because I got all

940
01:07:04.039 --> 01:07:04.559
this going on.

941
01:07:06.159 --> 01:07:07.000
My thing is.

942
01:07:08.480 --> 01:07:08.639
Right.

943
01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:14.000
What if you just said fuck it, I'm gonna see

944
01:07:14.039 --> 01:07:17.639
where this goes. Then you get to be real transparent.

945
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:20.599
This person gets to see the worst of you, and

946
01:07:20.840 --> 01:07:23.559
if they still want to be with you, that says

947
01:07:23.719 --> 01:07:24.360
even more.

948
01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:27.679
That's what I and I think, that's what That's what

949
01:07:28.039 --> 01:07:33.000
most men are afraid of. That right there, the fact

950
01:07:33.039 --> 01:07:33.480
that you.

951
01:07:33.519 --> 01:07:38.239
Can walking away and you can give them that, you can.

952
01:07:38.199 --> 01:07:42.360
Give them your worst like like who you who you

953
01:07:42.480 --> 01:07:44.920
are inside? It can be like the worst the worst person.

954
01:07:45.559 --> 01:07:47.760
And then they turn around and say.

955
01:07:50.440 --> 01:07:56.000
They if they be right, if they think then that's

956
01:07:57.079 --> 01:08:00.239
that's what it is, that they couldn't handle you. But

957
01:08:00.360 --> 01:08:03.079
now saying you would have done that and that person

958
01:08:03.119 --> 01:08:07.599
would have stuck through right and been there and then

959
01:08:07.800 --> 01:08:12.599
you were still healing and they understood that and they

960
01:08:12.679 --> 01:08:13.239
were reading.

961
01:08:14.639 --> 01:08:17.720
But how many lives do it take to get to

962
01:08:17.760 --> 01:08:18.880
the center of tati opop?

963
01:08:19.319 --> 01:08:23.239
I don't know. You told me it's different, It's.

964
01:08:23.159 --> 01:08:25.439
Different for everybody. That's that's what that's what I'm trying

965
01:08:25.479 --> 01:08:29.920
to say. Like it's it's if if somebody feels that

966
01:08:30.239 --> 01:08:32.840
they're if somebody comes to.

967
01:08:32.960 --> 01:08:36.000
Be putting themselves out there, then well, you're right, you're

968
01:08:36.000 --> 01:08:36.640
absolutely right.

969
01:08:37.199 --> 01:08:39.039
But what I'm what I'm what I'm saying, what I'm

970
01:08:39.079 --> 01:08:43.000
saying is is that when a person, when a person

971
01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:48.680
isn't secure within themselves, when they're not secure with who

972
01:08:48.760 --> 01:08:53.000
they are, despite the situation, despite the problem, despite the bullshit,

973
01:08:53.640 --> 01:08:55.359
they're never going to be prepared and never going to

974
01:08:55.399 --> 01:08:58.039
be ready. There's always going to be there's always going

975
01:08:58.079 --> 01:09:02.319
to be a problem. And and you are and you're

976
01:09:02.359 --> 01:09:05.039
absolutly you're absolutely right. I'm not saying.

977
01:09:06.439 --> 01:09:09.239
If they're not for sale, well I'm.

978
01:09:08.840 --> 01:09:11.560
Not advertising no goods. My goods is the goods, and

979
01:09:11.640 --> 01:09:16.119
I'm not gonna be advertising no goods. What I'm saying

980
01:09:16.319 --> 01:09:21.560
is but what I'm saying, what I'm trying to say,

981
01:09:21.680 --> 01:09:27.199
is that it's it's more, it's more about his insecurities

982
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:29.399
than it is anything else.

983
01:09:31.760 --> 01:09:34.640
Then you can't say that there's nobody out there that's

984
01:09:34.720 --> 01:09:35.720
willing to deal with you.

985
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:40.840
No, well I'm talking about I'm talking about a little

986
01:09:40.880 --> 01:09:43.199
more general. But yeah, I'm not.

987
01:09:43.560 --> 01:09:45.680
I'm, like I said, at this point in my life,

988
01:09:46.439 --> 01:09:49.039
Like I said, I love some of me. What I'm saying,

989
01:09:49.079 --> 01:09:51.039
I'm I'm in. I'm at a point in my life

990
01:09:51.640 --> 01:09:57.279
where I'm about it. I'm about that life. You know

991
01:09:57.279 --> 01:09:59.560
what I mean. I'm not I'm not about I'm not

992
01:09:59.640 --> 01:10:03.680
about not being transparent. I'm not about not being communicative.

993
01:10:03.760 --> 01:10:09.479
I'm not. I'm not. I'm all about communications, transparency, honesty, loyalty, respect,

994
01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:13.640
and all the other good ship I'm running out of fingers.

995
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:20.359
But about self care, I care for ship. I take

996
01:10:20.399 --> 01:10:22.800
care of myself just because I eat a key line

997
01:10:22.840 --> 01:10:24.239
pie once. You know why, don't mean I don't care

998
01:10:24.319 --> 01:10:24.880
for myself.

999
01:10:26.760 --> 01:10:30.640
That's part of self care. You know what I mean yourself?

1000
01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:35.239
You know I mean taking care of your ailments and

1001
01:10:35.399 --> 01:10:36.479
not feeding them.

1002
01:10:38.560 --> 01:10:40.119
How am I not taking care of my ailments?

1003
01:10:40.319 --> 01:10:44.399
I mean self control, discipline.

1004
01:10:44.960 --> 01:10:46.239
Hey, I like pizza.

1005
01:10:48.600 --> 01:10:50.920
And I like men with big muscles, but that doesn't

1006
01:10:50.960 --> 01:10:57.119
mean I'm gonna get it because we're being exactly easier

1007
01:10:57.199 --> 01:10:57.600
to get.

1008
01:10:59.479 --> 01:11:02.079
There's a pizza area right now, is open?

1009
01:11:02.920 --> 01:11:06.439
Mm hmmm. All right, then let me put it this way.

1010
01:11:07.960 --> 01:11:10.560
I like I like Dominicans, but that don't mean I

1011
01:11:10.640 --> 01:11:18.119
want to date them. Okay, okay, because it's not new

1012
01:11:18.199 --> 01:11:23.159
for my health. Yes, it's about self control and disappointed.

1013
01:11:24.439 --> 01:11:27.239
Are you saying it's too much?

1014
01:11:27.399 --> 01:11:27.439
No?

1015
01:11:27.760 --> 01:11:30.840
No, plot, I can't eat the platinum. I just it's

1016
01:11:31.119 --> 01:11:33.800
not not the Dominican plat because you know it's not

1017
01:11:33.920 --> 01:11:34.279
good for me.

1018
01:11:36.159 --> 01:11:45.960
I eat your God damn, what are we anyway?

1019
01:11:46.279 --> 01:11:46.439
Man?

1020
01:11:46.560 --> 01:11:47.399
How do we get here?

1021
01:11:47.920 --> 01:11:48.319
All right? So?

1022
01:11:48.439 --> 01:11:50.600
Anyway, like I was saying, like I was saying.

1023
01:11:50.920 --> 01:11:53.119
You know, you're the head of the show, Corleon, so

1024
01:11:53.520 --> 01:11:54.920
talk I'm.

1025
01:11:54.760 --> 01:11:56.920
Holding I'm holding together. Don't worry about it. It's good.

1026
01:11:58.079 --> 01:12:00.239
I got this now.

1027
01:12:01.680 --> 01:12:05.880
I think I got the answer, which was the insecurity part,

1028
01:12:07.560 --> 01:12:11.039
the understanding of the if I don't think I'm good

1029
01:12:11.159 --> 01:12:11.760
enough for you?

1030
01:12:14.920 --> 01:12:17.479
No, I mean it's not it's not really about whether

1031
01:12:17.560 --> 01:12:19.359
or not I think I'm good enough for you, you

1032
01:12:19.439 --> 01:12:22.239
know what I'm saying, Like he could be thinking, it's

1033
01:12:22.319 --> 01:12:23.960
not about whether or not I think I'm good enough

1034
01:12:24.000 --> 01:12:26.479
for you. I think I'm good enough for a whole

1035
01:12:26.520 --> 01:12:27.079
lot of people.

1036
01:12:27.720 --> 01:12:28.279
But what I what?

1037
01:12:28.439 --> 01:12:28.479
What?

1038
01:12:28.720 --> 01:12:29.119
What it is?

1039
01:12:29.239 --> 01:12:35.079
If I have insecurities about myself and and and yourself. Yeah,

1040
01:12:35.079 --> 01:12:39.680
if I'm insecure about me and about what's we're talking about, well,

1041
01:12:39.760 --> 01:12:42.760
you guys are talking were asking me if I feel

1042
01:12:42.920 --> 01:12:46.760
insecure about me and about what I had, well what

1043
01:12:46.880 --> 01:12:50.800
I can and can't offer, then that's a problem.

1044
01:12:51.800 --> 01:12:56.399
Yes, Because wasn't it Bob Marley that said, no woman,

1045
01:12:56.520 --> 01:13:01.760
no crime. No howard is a man that ignites a

1046
01:13:01.840 --> 01:13:05.199
woman's fire with no intention of keeping it burning something

1047
01:13:05.279 --> 01:13:05.439
like that.

1048
01:13:06.199 --> 01:13:07.439
No, I said that yesterday.

1049
01:13:08.239 --> 01:13:16.720
Got because that's the thing. It's like people know that

1050
01:13:16.880 --> 01:13:21.239
they're not ready, but then they hook other people by

1051
01:13:21.319 --> 01:13:25.359
putting themselves out there and they're still not ready. So

1052
01:13:25.479 --> 01:13:28.760
it's like you just basically wasted not just your time,

1053
01:13:29.279 --> 01:13:33.479
but somebody else's time, somebody else's emotions, you know. But

1054
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:37.000
we don't think about that. We just let it all,

1055
01:13:37.279 --> 01:13:40.800
let the let the flag fly and go with the flow,

1056
01:13:41.680 --> 01:13:43.600
you know, and people get hurt.

1057
01:13:43.960 --> 01:13:47.720
The flow, No, go with the wind is blowing in

1058
01:13:47.800 --> 01:13:49.560
that direction for the flag, so we have to go

1059
01:13:49.680 --> 01:13:54.119
in that direction. Flowing is more like water. Flag is

1060
01:13:54.239 --> 01:14:02.960
flying with the wind, you know. All right, now, I

1061
01:14:03.640 --> 01:14:08.239
get though. I mean people, people should not be putting

1062
01:14:08.279 --> 01:14:11.479
themselves out there if they're not prepared. That's the bottom line.

1063
01:14:11.880 --> 01:14:13.439
If they're not there, don't wish.

1064
01:14:13.560 --> 01:14:15.800
Don't wish for a goal that you're not willing to

1065
01:14:15.920 --> 01:14:17.159
deal with what comes with it.

1066
01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:26.399
Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. You are absolutely right. No,

1067
01:14:26.560 --> 01:14:30.560
there's no there's no there's no excuse for putting yourself

1068
01:14:30.640 --> 01:14:37.720
out there. Somebody comes along that is exactly what it

1069
01:14:37.920 --> 01:14:42.039
is you feel you're looking for, and you run away.

1070
01:14:45.159 --> 01:14:48.600
You know what I'm saying. I mean, it shouldn't. It

1071
01:14:48.680 --> 01:14:52.039
shouldn't be that way, you know.

1072
01:14:53.000 --> 01:14:59.920
Okay, It's like, yeah, I had an act.

1073
01:15:00.119 --> 01:15:04.239
We had Actually I had a contest I wanted to

1074
01:15:04.319 --> 01:15:06.239
do for a T shirt.

1075
01:15:08.399 --> 01:15:11.600
You can't do no darn contest for a T shirt

1076
01:15:11.720 --> 01:15:14.520
until you give your staff their darn shirts.

1077
01:15:15.079 --> 01:15:20.479
That's I mean, all right, So.

1078
01:15:20.640 --> 01:15:26.319
I won't I want, I won't once Once you guys

1079
01:15:26.399 --> 01:15:32.560
get your shirts once you got Yeah, look I wear mine.

1080
01:15:33.920 --> 01:15:37.039
Well that's because you keep everything to yourself. You're greedy.

1081
01:15:40.800 --> 01:15:41.640
Yeah, unbelievable.

1082
01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:44.439
We've been holding this down with you for years now

1083
01:15:45.000 --> 01:15:47.720
and we're still that's right.

1084
01:15:50.560 --> 01:16:03.720
Oh my god, we're rich with life, that's rich. So yeah.

1085
01:16:04.560 --> 01:16:11.560
So yeah, that's yeah, that's what it is.

1086
01:16:13.079 --> 01:16:13.479
They hurt.

1087
01:16:14.840 --> 01:16:16.039
That's exactly what it is.

1088
01:16:20.039 --> 01:16:24.960
That. I don't think Corleone expected that his podcast might

1089
01:16:25.079 --> 01:16:25.479
hurt him.

1090
01:16:26.800 --> 01:16:31.800
Ain't ain't sure hurting me, therapist, like we did a

1091
01:16:31.880 --> 01:16:36.319
quick sush, some peace came up.

1092
01:16:39.640 --> 01:16:40.359
A little bigger.

1093
01:16:41.159 --> 01:16:50.279
My d came to keep with me when he tells

1094
01:16:50.319 --> 01:16:51.720
people that this might hurt.

1095
01:16:53.640 --> 01:16:59.840
All the time all the time. Yeah, I have a

1096
01:17:00.079 --> 01:17:01.600
I have I have a great sense of human So

1097
01:17:02.039 --> 01:17:10.560
none of that good. Yeah all right. So with that

1098
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:13.159
being said, what are where are we? All? Right?

1099
01:17:13.319 --> 01:17:17.159
Well, did you have anything else to set the because

1100
01:17:17.199 --> 01:17:20.479
you talk the hell out of whatever we're talking about.

1101
01:17:21.239 --> 01:17:25.199
Yeah, I mean, that's that's that's that's pretty much what

1102
01:17:25.319 --> 01:17:27.840
I wanted to say. What I wanted to discuss, just

1103
01:17:27.920 --> 01:17:31.920
the fact that loneliness is real. You know that people

1104
01:17:32.159 --> 01:17:38.000
really do get lonely. It's not it's not it doesn't

1105
01:17:38.039 --> 01:17:40.840
make you weak. It doesn't, you know, make you any

1106
01:17:40.920 --> 01:17:44.760
less of a person by feeling lonely, you know what

1107
01:17:44.840 --> 01:17:52.399
I mean? You know, And I just think that people

1108
01:17:52.479 --> 01:17:56.399
need to communicate more and be more present one another.

1109
01:17:56.199 --> 01:18:00.119
And and get in their cars and drive, know what

1110
01:18:00.159 --> 01:18:00.399
I mean?

1111
01:18:00.760 --> 01:18:08.239
Yeah, t G you know, gotta bring me like that lastop.

1112
01:18:07.880 --> 01:18:10.399
So I can fix it for you, all right, All right,

1113
01:18:11.319 --> 01:18:13.439
this conversation took that, sue.

1114
01:18:19.199 --> 01:18:19.840
Yeah, you're right.

1115
01:18:20.199 --> 01:18:21.960
Well he's got to get in the car too, because

1116
01:18:21.960 --> 01:18:23.560
he's supposed to be visiting people too.

1117
01:18:24.159 --> 01:18:29.600
Oh yeah, I'll just talk about me and whatever I did.

1118
01:18:29.640 --> 01:18:32.279
It. Weren't we supposed to be planning a friends giving

1119
01:18:32.399 --> 01:18:33.960
last year and that never happened.

1120
01:18:34.159 --> 01:18:36.760
Yeah, yeah, looks.

1121
01:18:41.680 --> 01:18:48.840
Ship. Yeah, you're right, you're absolutely right, absolutely right. So no,

1122
01:18:51.159 --> 01:18:51.520
I don't know.

1123
01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:56.159
I'm getting fired together.

1124
01:18:57.720 --> 01:19:05.319
Nobody's got No one is getting fired, all right. So

1125
01:19:07.399 --> 01:19:12.319
with that being said, anybody got a final thought? Anybody else?

1126
01:19:13.159 --> 01:19:17.039
Anybody want to keep up partying? A partying thought?

1127
01:19:17.920 --> 01:19:21.640
What's going on right now? Well, yesterday was veterans today,

1128
01:19:21.840 --> 01:19:24.640
So happy to lead a veteran. Thank you for your

1129
01:19:24.800 --> 01:19:28.119
service to those who have served.

1130
01:19:27.840 --> 01:19:32.600
For us and our customers. Thank you, Thank you, what

1131
01:19:32.720 --> 01:19:34.760
else is going on before we leave again?

1132
01:19:36.239 --> 01:19:39.319
What it's like two weeks so Thanksgiving more?

1133
01:19:40.319 --> 01:19:44.520
Yeah, I'm gonna throw up here. So that's happened.

1134
01:19:46.239 --> 01:19:50.079
Mm hmm, that's happening.

1135
01:19:51.319 --> 01:19:54.439
Oh yeah, this time is just going back too fast.

1136
01:19:54.520 --> 01:19:58.319
Please just go down a little bit. And this darkness,

1137
01:19:59.479 --> 01:20:04.319
Lord of my I can't. It's dark too early.

1138
01:20:04.680 --> 01:20:07.159
I think, like that's the least favorite thing. I really

1139
01:20:07.239 --> 01:20:10.880
wish they would get rid of this daylight saving time

1140
01:20:10.960 --> 01:20:15.439
things like they had mentioned that they were going to

1141
01:20:15.960 --> 01:20:21.000
and nothing ever happened, And I'm like, please get forge

1142
01:20:21.079 --> 01:20:26.039
it because this is crazy. It's like four thirty and

1143
01:20:26.159 --> 01:20:32.279
the sun is set. Yeah, yeah, it's five thirty and

1144
01:20:32.399 --> 01:20:33.880
it's feel like it's nine.

1145
01:20:34.520 --> 01:20:38.239
It's like, what the hell, it's weird.

1146
01:20:39.000 --> 01:20:41.640
What about you, lady G I thought, I any final thought?

1147
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:51.479
Oh not really, not really, Okay, I have one.

1148
01:20:52.159 --> 01:20:55.399
Okay, yeah, I actually had to write it out because

1149
01:20:56.399 --> 01:20:58.119
it took me. It took me an hour to write it.

1150
01:20:58.279 --> 01:21:00.880
But wow, yeah, all right.

1151
01:21:00.920 --> 01:21:05.000
My final thought is this loneliness is loud in the

1152
01:21:05.119 --> 01:21:08.600
world that pretends it's connected, and most of us are

1153
01:21:08.680 --> 01:21:11.920
not too scared to admit we feel it. But the

1154
01:21:12.039 --> 01:21:16.560
truth is Loneliness isn't a weakness. It's a signal, a

1155
01:21:16.720 --> 01:21:20.359
reminder that we are human and built for real connection,

1156
01:21:21.279 --> 01:21:26.159
not just digital echoes. The facts don't lie. Loneliness hits

1157
01:21:26.239 --> 01:21:31.520
harder than people think, and the misconceptions around it keep

1158
01:21:31.640 --> 01:21:35.319
too many of us suffering in silence. So if you're

1159
01:21:35.399 --> 01:21:40.079
feeling it, you're not broken, You're awake, and the first

1160
01:21:40.119 --> 01:21:43.880
step out isn't pretending you're fine, it's admitting you're not

1161
01:21:45.000 --> 01:21:51.039
and choosing not to sit in that silence alone. That

1162
01:21:51.239 --> 01:21:56.920
is my final thought for the evening. I like that,

1163
01:21:58.920 --> 01:22:02.520
thank you, And with that being said, I'm big Holdion,

1164
01:22:03.119 --> 01:22:08.199
that's t G Love, that's Lady G. We are this

1165
01:22:08.279 --> 01:22:12.039
is my Herd podcast and always remember that at some point,

1166
01:22:12.239 --> 01:22:21.720
and we found that out tonight, that this my good night, everybody,

1167
01:22:23.000 --> 01:22:24.600
good night show.