Aug. 16, 2024

"Taco" 'bout it Tuesday (Recorded LIVE on 8-13-24)

"Taco" 'bout it Tuesday (Recorded LIVE on 8-13-24)

Taco 'bout Tuesday...we will talk about it but remember that at some point This Might Hurt!!!

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Taco 'bout Tuesday...we will talk about it but remember that at some point This Might Hurt!!!

WEBVTT

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The concert of Bert.

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Hey, what's up everybody, Good evening, Welcome to this my

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HERD podcast. I hope everybody's having a good evening, and

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I hope you can hear me. If you can't hear me,

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say so and I'll adjust accordingly. Let me bring in

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my co host, Lady G.

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Lady G was good, Hey, big, what's going on?

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I'm chilling, chilling, chill. How are you?

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I'm wonderful as usual.

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All right, that's good. That's good. That's good. So how

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was your week?

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Well, it's only Tuesday.

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But other than oh, that's right, it's it's only it's

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it's only tuesday. You're absolutely right.

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I'm like, it's going well even when it's not, it's great.

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That's good. That's always good to hear.

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Actually, yeah, gotta maintain positivity because you get to decide

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that's right.

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That's absolutely right. You hear me pretty good?

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Yeah, I hear you good.

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All right, good, that's I'll have to raise the volume

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on this mic. So you weren't you weren't with us

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last week? We missed you very much. It was it

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was a hell of it. It was a hell of a show. Yeah,

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it was, it was. It was actually it was actually

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it was actually pretty crazy.

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So, well, everything is crazy.

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Yeah, work, he said he'll be here at some point.

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TG says she'll be here at some point if she can.

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So we'll see. But if if if we have to

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hold it down, we'll hold it down.

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You know how it is, Yes, we will.

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You know, you know how it is. But anything anything pressing,

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you got, you got going on, and you want to

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you know nothing, what's going on in Lady G's world.

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You don't want to know?

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Right?

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Well, well, we we actually had tons of I mean,

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the show hasn't hasn't popped off? Oh what's Oh? Well right,

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all right, all right, what up?

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Fan?

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How you doing? Bro's everything? Thanks for stopping by and

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saying what's up? Appreciate it, man, Appreciate the love. Appreciate

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the love, no doubt about it. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah,

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so we we had we had a conversation about fathers

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and mothers and kids and stuff like that and everything,

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and and what ended up happening was it got we

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got into the conversation of of why the thing was

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the topic was at that point I threw it to

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I threw it to the chat room, which was kind

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of crazy. I threw it to the chat room and

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I said, what do you guys want to talk about?

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What do you guys want to discuss it? The very

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first thing that came up was why do men cheat?

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Yo?

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It was from there it went, It went in all

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different directions. It was it was good. We were on

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for over two hours. It Oh lucky lady, g what

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up lady? Gee?

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Oh hey, hey manny, how's it going?

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Yeah, it's.

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Then don't cheat?

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Okay, Nah, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was it was

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just why why do men? Why do men? White man cheat?

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But then, but you know, if you think about it,

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you know men men don't cheat.

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Mm hm.

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I mean everybody cheats that everybody cheats, not everybody, but

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you know, it gets to the point where sometimes when

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there's no communication in the relationship, you know, and there's

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no love and affection somebody, you know, people tend to

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exactly man, he said it said it right, superman cheat.

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Well, I mean I guess that could be true, but

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you know, I've always got a different outlook on things

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like this.

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All right, So white the men cheat. White wo men cheat, men.

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Cheat because they're they have something missing in them. It's

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an insecurity for them, right, right, they cheat because they

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don't know how to communicate. They're afraid to communicate. See

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what what I have found in couples, you know, no

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matter whether it's yeah, definitely insecure amulan, but they don't

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realize it. That's the thing they're and that's with a

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lot of people. A lot of people have these insecurities

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that they don't even recognize as insecurity. Right. And the

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truth is, having been a marriage therapist for so long,

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I have seen so many different things, and so the

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thing is there's this idea that your partner is supposed

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to be the one person in the world that you

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can be vulnerable with, that you can trust. The issue

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that we're having nowadays is that people are not taking

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their time to choose. They're jumping into relationships for the

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just for the sake of having relationships. They're rushing things

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by having the intimacy quickly. And so with some people

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it's like, well, we've been intimate so and you don't

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totally get on my nerves, so maybe we should be

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together nerves you know, Like somebody asked me at work today,

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is moving in with somebody basically saying that I miss

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you more than you get on my nerves. And I

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had never really heard it that way. Uh, I never

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heard it that way before, I said, I guess, so

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I wouldn't exactly put it that way. Definitely, Natalie. We

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we have a tendency as human beings to think that

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the grass is always greener on the other side. We

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let our eyes dictate what our heart can't see.

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Uh.

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But like I said again, it's it's people are not

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taking the time anymore or to get to know somebody.

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You know, everybody's in a hurry for the physical, for

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the you know, they're not even invested in the emotional anymore. Because,

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as I've said many times, hurt people hurt people, and

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we as individuals or in this generation, in this time period,

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have been so hurt by people that we've stopped allowing

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vulnerability to be the norm. Right. We're not allowing because

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we don't want to feel those feelings of rejection, hurt, pain.

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We're allowing those hurt feelings to put up walls and

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to stop us from being vulnerable with our partners. And

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the thing is, your partner's supposed to be your best friend,

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you know, the one person in your life that you're

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supposed to be able to trust, count on, lean on,

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have peace with, not necessarily be their peace, but have

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peace with you know, grow you know, grow the piece,

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nurture the piece, you know, and and and plan with

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partner with you know. But we we've we've we've come

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away from that idea. And so what happens is because

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of the judge people that we are, we have a

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tendency to be afraid of what our partner's going to

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say about our wants, our needs and things like that.

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And yes, after a certain period of time, things do

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become stagnant, monotonous, especially when you start to have children together.

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You get so wrapped up in the every day taking

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the kids here, going to work there. You get so

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wrapped up in the everyday rigormarole that you forget that

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there was a relationship, that there was a connection, that

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there were two people that created this dynamic and we

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and we stray away from that. And so we have

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to continue to date each other. We have to continue

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to make things interesting, be that vulnerable person with that

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other person, you know, because a lot of it is

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we shy away from people's emotions, you know.

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Is it just a fible for a man to cheat

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if he isn't getting sex from his partner.

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No, it's not justifiable because it's just as much his

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responsibility to figure out why he's not getting that as

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it is for her to give it. Because, let me

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tell you something, a woman is a reflection of a man.

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She amplifies. So if if she was a certain way

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for a period of time and all of a sudden

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she's not, sometimes men need to look at themselves and say, well.

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Whoa, whoa.

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Oh no, no, no you're gonna listen. Gon't listen. Whatever

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whatever you give to a woman, she amplifies, Right, she amplifies.

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You give her love, she gives you twice as much love.

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You buy her a home, She furnishes it, and she

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fills it with love. You give her money, she takes

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that money, She makes it stretch. You give the children, right,

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she takes those children, She nurtures them, nurtures them and

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creates your family.

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Right.

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So, whatever you give to a woman, she will take

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and amplify. So if you have an issue with the

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woman not giving you something or she has kind of

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shut down, then you, as the partner, need to say,

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what am I doing? That's causing this reaction. So there's

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definitely manny what you're saying. Definitely no maturity. But at

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the same token, people are now self aware, people are

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not self aware.

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Okay, that was a continuation of what he said. H

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all right, So I get I get you, I get

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what you're saying. All right, I understand. But what what

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what I'm what I'm thinking is if if we're in

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a relationship, you know what I'm saying, and and we're

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we're we're working, we're working things out, you know, and

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something is lacking you know, I feel like if if

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the relationship is supposed to be I see, I hate

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to say relationships are fifty to fifty. The reason why

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I don't like to say that is because we're not

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always coming in at fifty to fifty, right, which means like,

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which means if if if I'm having a day, I

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come in as I come in at that's at forty.

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You know what I'm saying, and you know I would

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I would need my lady to come in at sixty

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right to help to help, you know, pick up what

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it is I'm not able to do emotionally or whatever

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it is at that point in time. Of course, I

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think I think it's it's more. It's it's more about

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communicating to each other what it is you know you

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need and and what needs to be understood about how

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that person feels when it comes to communication.

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Right, and does the other person have the capacity to

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give you that.

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And and that's and and that's that that's the big thing.

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I mean, the only way to find that out is

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is through time and through building that that love and trust,

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you know, and.

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And the communication.

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And and a man needs to be reassured himself as well.

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It's not it's not just to reassure. I mean, you

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can reassure your woe. Baby. I love you, I care

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about you. You know what I'm saying. I'm here for you.

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I'm here. You know, I'm here in the moment with you.

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You know what I'm saying. But there are times when

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when a man needs to hear those words himself as well.

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I mean, it's it's men get a bad rap, man.

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I mean, it's it's not it's not like it's not

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like it it I don't know. I just think I

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think dudes get a bad rap these days. You know

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what I'm saying. As far as not being communicative, and

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not putting there all you.

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Know, being where, but look at where that's coming from,

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where those messages are coming from.

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Man you while son yo, you've you've been with your

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l lady twenty one years? Damn son Yo, Yeah, didn't

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even think you were that old man Manny. Manny is

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a very very very good He's like he's like my

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he's like my family. We grew up in the same building.

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Friends are very very very long time. I got mad

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love for Manny and his family. He knows we go

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way back, but I didn't know. I didn't know you

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with your lady twenty one years though, So I.

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Got a question. You've been with your woman twenty one

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years and only married for nine? Why is that's there?

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You know?

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Like so, I mean that gets me because I have

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at my best friend is the same thing. She's been

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with her husband. Her daughter's twenty four, so yeah, about

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twenty two years and they've only been married for ten.

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So it's like, why why is that?

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I mean, maybe I don't know, twenty some years and

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married nine years. I mean maybe they needed to build

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more of a foundation and make sure their careers are

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correct and make sure everything was good between the both.

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Of them, I don't know, so it took eleven years

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for that, But those are no those are the types

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of things I'm saying though, Like, we have this disconnect

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and it's not about men. It's about the relationship both people,

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you know, it's about understanding what you want as a partner, right,

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00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:59.759
being that person for someone else. You know, we've gotten

238
00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:02.079
into this thing, you know, like the whole idea of

239
00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:05.119
the fifty to fifty right, it's a nice it's a

240
00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:09.920
nice idea, but like you said, a big some days

241
00:18:09.920 --> 00:18:14.039
it's going to be sixty forty, eighty twenty, you know, Like,

242
00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:18.640
but we gotta we also have to stop counting. We

243
00:18:18.759 --> 00:18:20.200
have to stop keeping score.

244
00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:24.400
I'm a big believer in not in not having to

245
00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:27.079
keep score. I mean, yeah, you did this for me today.

246
00:18:27.079 --> 00:18:29.319
I needed to do this for me tomorrow. You know

247
00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:31.039
what I'm saying. I don't. I don't. I don't think.

248
00:18:32.119 --> 00:18:35.359
I don't think that's fair in a relationship, you know

249
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:40.559
what I'm saying. And I think I think that at

250
00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:46.200
some point, well for at some point you you should

251
00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:47.680
just be able to look at each other and know.

252
00:18:49.799 --> 00:18:51.119
You know what I'm saying, And.

253
00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:53.599
I'm going to challenge that because you said that the

254
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:57.599
last time I was on a well, because the question

255
00:18:57.720 --> 00:18:59.920
you had asked is, how does a woman know that

256
00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.279
her man's cheating on her? But she doesn't, but she

257
00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:06.400
don't feel that.

258
00:19:05.359 --> 00:19:10.839
He needs all right, all right, you mean the woman's intuition, Yeah.

259
00:19:10.119 --> 00:19:16.079
But she can't feel when he's struggling, when he's struggling,

260
00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:19.000
when he needs something. We can't read each other's minds.

261
00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:25.359
Right, Hold on one second. Thumbs just showed up. He's

262
00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:26.759
he's he's all right.

263
00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:32.599
Yeah, what what are we talking about?

264
00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:37.759
Hold on, we hold on, we're discussing something. Just just

265
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:40.359
just catch you. You'll catch up. So again, Lady g.

266
00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:43.240
Bad All right, Yo, I'm about to go off camera

267
00:19:43.240 --> 00:19:50.680
because still handle some things, all right, all right, No.

268
00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:52.720
Just like you were saying, you know, like we we

269
00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:56.079
can't read each other's minds. We can't divine. I don't

270
00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:59.720
care how long you've been together. Yes, you know mannerisms,

271
00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:02.319
know looks, you know those things you get to know

272
00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:06.400
each other. But it's like why, because then that just

273
00:20:06.440 --> 00:20:11.759
breeds anger, resentment when you're expecting your partner to just

274
00:20:12.039 --> 00:20:18.359
know what you need in a moment, you know, like, no,

275
00:20:18.519 --> 00:20:21.359
speak to me, talk to me right.

276
00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:23.559
You know, I get I get that. No, I understand,

277
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:28.240
I understand that point. But what the thing that that

278
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:32.200
that's that struck The thing that about that conversation itself

279
00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:39.279
about the the woman's intuition was what I try to

280
00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:44.079
say with that about that was women seem to say that,

281
00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:47.759
you know, their women's intuition has them feeling and thinking

282
00:20:47.799 --> 00:20:51.960
that their man is cheating. Yo, know what I'm saying,

283
00:20:52.039 --> 00:20:55.079
But hold on, real hold on, but but real quick.

284
00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:04.200
So oh, a woman's intuition can can can can get

285
00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:07.039
her feeling like her man is cheating, But can that

286
00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:10.880
intuition also pick up on her man struggling? That's what

287
00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:15.039
it was. I just I just felt. I just thought

288
00:21:15.039 --> 00:21:19.079
at that moment in time that if a woman can

289
00:21:19.160 --> 00:21:25.640
feel a man cheating, why can't she feel her man struggling?

290
00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:27.839
She can't?

291
00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:31.599
Well, yeah, you know what it is, yo. Women.

292
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:34.440
You know, women want us to be like, yeah, I'm struggling.

293
00:21:34.759 --> 00:21:36.480
But the problem is that we just have too much

294
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:39.359
pride for that. You know what I'm saying speaking intuition,

295
00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:42.160
You know what I'm saying, what I was telling you earlier, right,

296
00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:46.240
like a woman would know when you're cheating on her

297
00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:49.680
because you know what, like you guys are swapping you know,

298
00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:52.079
you know, like besides swapping sperm and all that.

299
00:21:52.039 --> 00:21:55.000
And you know in cooties and you want to put

300
00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:56.759
it that way.

301
00:21:56.200 --> 00:22:00.000
Swap an energy so a woman could a woman could

302
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:03.759
pick up a lot faster when the energy is being broken,

303
00:22:04.680 --> 00:22:06.839
you know, like you you know, like how like we

304
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:08.839
could pick up you know what I'm saying when you

305
00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:14.440
know it has been tampered with, right, but like but

306
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:17.680
like but but but like at the same time, though,

307
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:19.680
like we don't say much of it because we got

308
00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:22.359
too much pride and like, you know, we started hitting

309
00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:23.640
that the now fit you know what I'm saying, the

310
00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:26.400
N phrase. You know what I'm saying, phase already it's

311
00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:28.839
all energy, bro like like you know, like and it

312
00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:31.480
took me a while to realize that, you know, that's sex,

313
00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:33.359
you know what I'm saying, Like sex is like you know,

314
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:38.039
it's like more mental that more mental and spiritual what

315
00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:42.920
it is physical. Yeah, that's the that's the reason why, like,

316
00:22:42.920 --> 00:22:44.240
like you know what I'm saying, these porn starts we

317
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:47.319
committed suicide because you know what, they got so much energy,

318
00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:51.839
so much people's energies, right, and half of the you

319
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:53.240
know what I'm saying, half of them are messed up to

320
00:22:53.240 --> 00:22:55.359
begin with mentally, like you know what I'm saying, Like

321
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:58.559
like the energy characters like trauma and everything. So half

322
00:22:58.599 --> 00:23:00.200
of them are messed up to begin with. They don't

323
00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:04.319
even know what to do with themselves, and they unallowed themselves,

324
00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:06.880
you know. So it's like so it's like, you know

325
00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:08.960
what I mean. Like, but other than that, like the

326
00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:14.160
whole intuition thing, a woman would know everything, you know

327
00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:16.400
what I'm saying, Like like like like you know what,

328
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:19.160
you sleep with a woman five times, jo, She's gonna

329
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:21.960
figure you out. She's gonna know everything about you, whether

330
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.279
you like.

331
00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:22.640
It or not.

332
00:23:23.720 --> 00:23:26.240
You know, you could lie to her whatever that intuitionals

333
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:29.200
will kick up, you know, Like the same thing with us.

334
00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:32.480
It's just that we don't know how to navigate that

335
00:23:32.640 --> 00:23:35.680
road too much like women, do you know what I'm saying?

336
00:23:35.720 --> 00:23:37.960
Because like women, they're more open about their emotions.

337
00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:38.279
But not.

338
00:23:41.160 --> 00:23:42.519
Wait, I don't hold on.

339
00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.799
So yo yo yo yo.

340
00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.920
In other words, they know when something's wrong with us, right,

341
00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:52.039
they know, you know what I'm saying, whether they feel

342
00:23:52.039 --> 00:23:53.359
it or they stay it in our eyes, you know,

343
00:23:53.400 --> 00:23:55.359
what I'm saying, they know when something's wrong with us.

344
00:23:55.720 --> 00:23:57.720
It's just that half the times they want us to

345
00:23:57.759 --> 00:24:00.240
tell them and be open about it. That wants us wild,

346
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:02.599
wild pride. You know what I'm saying from not out

347
00:24:02.599 --> 00:24:04.880
of ten times we're here, you know, banging our chests

348
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:08.880
like King Kong, like now we're good, because that's how society,

349
00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:10.880
you know, like that's how we were brought up.

350
00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:12.720
You know, we're good.

351
00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:14.880
You know what I'm saying, even though we walking through

352
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:16.920
a media shower and getting you know what I'm saying,

353
00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:19.559
and getting hit with you know, common socide that that

354
00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:23.000
left that crater in Mexico and ship that end of

355
00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:24.640
the dinosaurs. You know what I'm saying, we will still

356
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:26.039
lied to her. You know what I'm saying to their

357
00:24:26.039 --> 00:24:28.759
face and we're like now we're good. Is that they

358
00:24:28.839 --> 00:24:31.559
know they just want us to say something, but we

359
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:34.680
don't say anything. So it's always going to be you.

360
00:24:34.599 --> 00:24:38.319
Know what happened at that point? What happens at that point?

361
00:24:38.839 --> 00:24:41.640
Do you just the fact that something is wrong and

362
00:24:41.640 --> 00:24:44.599
just keep it moving, or somebody says something.

363
00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:48.480
And yo, yep, yo. You know what women look at

364
00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:51.200
us for as leaders be let's let's keep it a bug,

365
00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:53.759
you know what I'm saying. Like they could talk all

366
00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:56.519
this independent ship all they want, but when there's a

367
00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:58.640
man around, they look at us to be leaders.

368
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.319
And if we're not you know what I'm say, we're

369
00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:01.920
not saying it, and they're just gonna go with that

370
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.920
vibe even though you know what I'm saying, we're dying inside.

371
00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:07.160
They're just gonna go with that vibe. Well, you ain't

372
00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:09.680
say nothing. Have you ever noticed that, you know what

373
00:25:09.720 --> 00:25:12.240
I'm saying, Like like you know, like, but shit hits

374
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:13.440
the fan and you hit you know what I'm saying,

375
00:25:13.559 --> 00:25:16.240
arguing with your girl, whatever what it is, and the

376
00:25:16.319 --> 00:25:18.920
first things that come out in their mouth is like, ye

377
00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:21.319
just say nothing, you know what I'm saying, Like we

378
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:23.440
expect them to be Professor X, but at the same

379
00:25:23.480 --> 00:25:25.960
time they expect us to be Professor X as well.

380
00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:29.559
Read their minds as well, you know which goes to

381
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:31.720
last week communication.

382
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:38.240
Man, Dub. I don't know that I've ever heard you

383
00:25:38.279 --> 00:25:39.759
speak so eloquently before.

384
00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:48.400
Oh shit, uh yo yo yo. You know what I mean.

385
00:25:49.160 --> 00:25:53.000
I don't want to be a villain this week. I'm lying, I.

386
00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:54.640
Am gonna be the villain this week, I'm gonna double

387
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:59.599
down on something too. Right Now, last week, I said

388
00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:03.400
some shit you know what I'm saying, which was basically

389
00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:04.720
this in the you know what I'm saying, this is

390
00:26:04.759 --> 00:26:07.640
more of a man than it was a female. But

391
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:13.799
you know, from what I heard, some females took they

392
00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:18.200
got offended. I'm like, of course they would, right, but

393
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:25.079
like you know, they emphasized on one part. However, then

394
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.920
you know what I'm saying. It's like it's like you

395
00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:31.559
know what it's like, it's like reading a book, right

396
00:26:32.200 --> 00:26:34.440
and you just focus on one page, but then to

397
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:37.000
read the whole chapter and already like you know, like

398
00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:39.599
you're trying to like you know, like you know what

399
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.160
I'm saying, Like, ah, this is like full of shit,

400
00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:44.000
that's what people do.

401
00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:45.000
You know what I'm saying.

402
00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:49.400
And I'm gonna be the villain today on that one too.

403
00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:52.839
So I'm gonna double down on what I said. You know,

404
00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:55.960
if people's feelings get hurt, so bid you know what

405
00:26:55.960 --> 00:26:57.759
I'm saying, put a condum on your heart, fuck.

406
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:03.599
Your feelings, you know what I mean? Like ice up, son,

407
00:27:04.119 --> 00:27:04.720
you know what I mean.

408
00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:09.720
Like like yo, you know what, But back to that

409
00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:11.440
whole thing. You know what I'm saying, Like it's all

410
00:27:11.480 --> 00:27:13.200
like you know what I'm saying, Like this is all energy.

411
00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:15.440
You know what I'm saying, it's all energy. Ship you know,

412
00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:18.079
real quick, we just comment, what do you think about that?

413
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:19.119
Which one?

414
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:20.240
This one?

415
00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:25.079
I don't think it creates narcissism. I think it.

416
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:28.440
You know what I'm saying, Like it doesn't create narcissism,

417
00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:30.079
It creates but it.

418
00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:31.359
Creates a problem though.

419
00:27:31.799 --> 00:27:35.920
But I don't think narcissism is not what I would think,

420
00:27:36.039 --> 00:27:39.200
you know what I'm saying, but what should be put

421
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:43.160
out there because like narcissism to me is like it's

422
00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:45.039
like someone that's you know what I'm saying, someone that's

423
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:47.039
confident but have nothing to be confident about.

424
00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:47.839
You know what I'm saying.

425
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:50.440
Narcissism me is someone that's just like you know, or

426
00:27:50.519 --> 00:27:56.000
just gas like the problem. You know, Like narcissism to

427
00:27:56.039 --> 00:27:59.640
me is like, all right, you know what I caught

428
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:02.160
you out? You know what I'm saying, Texas some dude,

429
00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:04.480
But you're gonna turn around and blame me for it,

430
00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:08.960
you know? Like then you know what I'm saying, Like

431
00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:10.359
what's next? You know what I'm saying you stuck to

432
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:12.279
some guys that you don't blame me for that shit too.

433
00:28:12.839 --> 00:28:18.400
I ain't put a gun to your That's narcissism, you know,

434
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:21.200
Like I think you know what I'm saying. The problem

435
00:28:21.279 --> 00:28:23.599
that that shit would create though you know, like as

436
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:29.039
far as like as far as like you know, problem wise,

437
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:31.119
like what it would create, it will create like a

438
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:33.599
huge rift because you know what it will be like

439
00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:37.480
a perceived narcissistic view, you know what I'm saying, Like

440
00:28:37.640 --> 00:28:43.400
it's just a perception when it really isn't right, you

441
00:28:43.400 --> 00:28:45.440
know what I mean, Like it will be like a perception,

442
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:47.359
like you know what I'm saying, Like it will be

443
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:48.960
like a hologram, you know what I'm saying, and like

444
00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:51.960
not ten times you're the person who's perceiving this narcissism

445
00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:54.720
will create this like whole mirage and whole hologram of

446
00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:58.559
something when it's really not that. That's what I'm saying,

447
00:28:58.599 --> 00:29:01.640
Like you know, like people can talk about communication how

448
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:05.519
easy it is, but like it's hard, you know what

449
00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:08.400
I'm saying, it's hard when well, like you know what

450
00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:10.480
I'm saying, Like you're thinking about, you know, should I

451
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:13.640
tell this person about what I've been through, you know

452
00:29:13.680 --> 00:29:16.440
what I'm saying, like, or you know what I'm saying,

453
00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:17.920
or how they're gonna you know what I'm saying, how

454
00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:20.240
they're going to receive this part, or how they're gonna

455
00:29:20.279 --> 00:29:22.759
take it, you know what I'm saying, like how you

456
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:24.319
know what I'm saying, Like we're more worried about the

457
00:29:24.359 --> 00:29:27.640
person misunderstanding our story instead of understanding it.

458
00:29:28.759 --> 00:29:29.480
And that's that.

459
00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:34.559
And and that's when the narcissism, like you know what

460
00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:40.119
I'm saying to perceive narcissism kicks in, Like.

461
00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:45.960
I completely completely understand what you're saying. B I completely

462
00:29:46.039 --> 00:29:51.240
understand what you're saying. Because when when when women women

463
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:55.000
women say they want to know about what you've been through, right,

464
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:58.680
they want to know what it is your struggle is.

465
00:29:58.720 --> 00:30:01.799
They want to know what it is that makes you tick,

466
00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:05.440
what makes you say and do the things you say

467
00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:08.960
and do. And then when you when you sit there

468
00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:12.000
and you you're vulnerable and you open up and you

469
00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:15.480
say these things, sometimes it's like WHOA wait a minute, bro,

470
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:19.200
I can't tell you open up, motherfucking floodgates. I just said,

471
00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:20.920
I want to know a little something about what's going

472
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:23.240
on with you and what you've been through and what's up.

473
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:25.720
But see a motherfucker like me, I'll tell you something,

474
00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:29.920
right fucking now, a motherfucker like me. If you ask

475
00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:35.400
to open up and express how I feel about what

476
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:38.920
I've been through or what I'm going through, or what

477
00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:43.079
I or where I see myself in the future, be

478
00:30:43.079 --> 00:30:46.839
be fucking prepared, bro, Be prepared to hear shit. You

479
00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:48.640
might not want to fucking hear.

480
00:30:49.160 --> 00:30:53.079
But this is what I'm saying coreon is that people

481
00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:59.200
are picking the wrong partners because there is no earthly

482
00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:04.160
reason why you should be in a relationship with somebody

483
00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:09.400
and you needing to open those floodgates would cause an

484
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:15.039
issue for that person at all. That's the wrong person.

485
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:20.519
That's the wrong person, because that's what we should want,

486
00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:23.240
not that, you know, Like like this whole thing about

487
00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:26.920
women saying that they want a sensitive man, but then

488
00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:28.799
all of a sudden there's this thing about them being

489
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:33.200
too sensitive, right, right, right, But that's everybody. That's not

490
00:31:33.279 --> 00:31:36.079
just for men, because you don't want a woman that's

491
00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:42.559
crying every day all day long, either, you know. But again,

492
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:46.319
your partner, your partner is supposed to be the person

493
00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:49.319
that is not just going to be there with you

494
00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:54.799
when you're hustling, when you're making things happen. It's when

495
00:31:54.799 --> 00:31:58.039
you're at your worst, and that's when you can because see,

496
00:31:58.160 --> 00:32:04.319
love is just a feeling, you know, loving someone is

497
00:32:04.359 --> 00:32:08.880
an action. And if that person very.

498
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:18.759
That legs open, very easy love. Okay, all right, I

499
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:20.640
just wanted to be a dick, you know, go back

500
00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:21.559
to my enemy stuff.

501
00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:28.440
There's nothing new row, you know. So it's like if

502
00:32:28.519 --> 00:32:32.200
you're with somebody and that becomes an issue, then yo,

503
00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:37.079
it's time to go. Because you know, the whole point

504
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:42.400
of relationships is to support one another. And and and

505
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:44.759
and I'm going to agree with what you said, Dubbs,

506
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:50.359
because I am a little bit old school. Yes, I

507
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:55.359
look to a man or to my partner actually, uh,

508
00:32:56.720 --> 00:33:01.599
to lead, to be the lead. Right, we're equals, but

509
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:08.559
there's that natural progression of leader and supporter. Men were

510
00:33:08.559 --> 00:33:12.440
created as hunters and gatherers to lead the pack. Women

511
00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:15.079
were created to nurture and support.

512
00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:19.839
Right, and don't forget protect too, you know, like because

513
00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:22.880
you don't want to protect like yeah, like like like

514
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:27.079
you know what like because like what's you call it?

515
00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:30.799
I remember, like, you know, my twenties or whatever, right that,

516
00:33:32.519 --> 00:33:34.559
you know, like like I like this one girl lead

517
00:33:34.599 --> 00:33:36.920
because some skiny ass dude that couldn't fight for ship.

518
00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:38.359
I was like, Yo, you know I should go smack

519
00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:39.880
the ship out of them, just you know what I'm saying,

520
00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:42.400
just to prove a point, you know, just to you

521
00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:43.960
know what I'm saying, like just you're just just to

522
00:33:43.960 --> 00:33:47.319
be a dick about it, you know because especially like

523
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:49.920
you know, if you flaunting, like you know, like, oh,

524
00:33:50.039 --> 00:33:51.960
I take your bitch, I'll take your bitch all right, then.

525
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:54.480
I'm gonna smack the shit out of take that. You

526
00:33:54.519 --> 00:33:55.039
know what I'm saying.

527
00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:56.599
I don't want the girl back, you know what I'm saying,

528
00:33:56.640 --> 00:33:58.960
like because because you know what, like I got enough

529
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:02.200
pride to know that, like you know, like you know,

530
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:03.920
like you can't get back with me after you i'a

531
00:34:03.960 --> 00:34:06.039
fuck with him. But however, you know what I'm saying,

532
00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:07.839
to prove to you that you are now in the

533
00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:10.800
lesbian relationship. I shall smack this, you know what I'm saying.

534
00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:14.679
I shall smack the ovaries out of his mouth. You know,

535
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.280
like he's got to fight, you know what I'm saying,

536
00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:19.960
because pride is his mother fucking me. And if he

537
00:34:20.039 --> 00:34:22.760
doesn't fight he takes that smack, I'm gonna smack him again,

538
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:25.079
you know what I'm saying, Just to you know what

539
00:34:25.119 --> 00:34:27.360
I'm saying, and just and just look at the girl

540
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:29.519
and be like this, this is what it's about.

541
00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:30.639
You like me for him?

542
00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:32.400
Like you know what I'm saying, Like I get it now,

543
00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:33.960
you know what I'm saying. You really want to be

544
00:34:33.960 --> 00:34:35.159
in a lesbian relationship?

545
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:36.280
Just say that.

546
00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:39.519
You know, in my twenties, you know what I'm saying, Like,

547
00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:41.760
that's what it was about. Like now, like I look

548
00:34:41.800 --> 00:34:43.800
back at it, and I'm like, you know what, like

549
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:48.079
some women, you know what I'm saying, Like you know

550
00:34:48.079 --> 00:34:49.840
what I'm saying, my past relationships, some women had a

551
00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:51.639
problem with me because you know what, like I.

552
00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:52.639
Would not stand down.

553
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:55.559
You know, they wanted someone weaker, like you know what

554
00:34:55.559 --> 00:34:59.880
I'm saying, weaker personality, you know, like like you know what,

555
00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:02.039
Like I was loving and Karen, but like you know what,

556
00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:04.920
that had a limit though, you know what I'm saying,

557
00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:06.400
Like if I felt like you're gonna try and play

558
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:14.320
me stupid, you know exact exactly, you know what. So

559
00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:15.599
like if I feel like you're on trying. You know

560
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:17.199
what I'm saying, You're gonna try to get one over me.

561
00:35:17.559 --> 00:35:20.800
Good luck, you know, because I because I don't. I

562
00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:24.679
don't stand down to let you walk over me that way. Sorry, sorry,

563
00:35:24.760 --> 00:35:27.000
not sorry way. I'd rather, you know what I'm saying.

564
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:31.599
I'd rather go through you know, some bullshit than have

565
00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:35.519
you emasculate me, you know what I'm saying, especially like

566
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:37.559
you know what I'm saying, like you know, in front

567
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:39.000
of my friends and ship, and I don't play that.

568
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:42.159
Let me tell you something. Can't nobody do to you

569
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.480
what you don't let them. Nobody can make you feel anything.

570
00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:49.360
Nobody can make you do anything unless there is a

571
00:35:49.400 --> 00:35:52.320
gun to your head. You are the one who is

572
00:35:52.360 --> 00:35:54.719
in control of your feelings. You are the one who's

573
00:35:54.719 --> 00:35:59.440
in control of your behavior. Nobody has that enough power

574
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:02.280
to do that, and if they do, it's because you're

575
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:04.199
allowing them to take that power.

576
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:08.079
But you know what, though, you you know what, though

577
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:10.599
some woman will try to take that power, like right off,

578
00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:12.679
you know what I'm saying, right off the jont because

579
00:36:12.719 --> 00:36:15.920
like because like you know what, like they go by

580
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:19.559
first suppressions like COOLEA and Rometta Girl from Carney.

581
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:20.679
Yeah.

582
00:36:21.679 --> 00:36:22.079
All right.

583
00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:25.599
So like met some girl on the village or whatever,

584
00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:29.920
right like one night, like back in the nightties or whatever, and.

585
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:30.840
We're hanging out with her.

586
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:32.679
It's like she's being all a lot of umbunction's like

587
00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:35.559
trying to like, you know, dictate, you know, how things

588
00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:38.400
should go right, and I'm just here there just like,

589
00:36:38.440 --> 00:36:43.320
you know, like you know what I'm saying being I

590
00:36:43.360 --> 00:36:45.159
was playing in the background like I always do, like

591
00:36:45.159 --> 00:36:47.880
you know what I'm saying, being like I'm saying observant

592
00:36:47.880 --> 00:36:48.800
of things.

593
00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:49.519
Right.

594
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:53.559
So we'rein't very king and she's getting all loud, you know,

595
00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:55.519
like talking about all this, is looking at me, you know,

596
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:57.079
just standing and there, and I'm like, yo, she ain't

597
00:36:57.119 --> 00:36:58.920
looking at you. Just chill, you know what I'm saying.

598
00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:00.800
Like I was already annoyed what I'm saying by her.

599
00:37:00.840 --> 00:37:03.119
But at this point it's probably like the second day

600
00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:05.159
ever hung out with him, and I was already to

601
00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:05.840
annoy it.

602
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:11.880
Right, And she was like I'm like, yo, shut the

603
00:37:12.119 --> 00:37:14.960
fuck up. She's like excuse me. I was like, shut

604
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:16.880
the fuck up. I said, I'm gonna smack you with

605
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:19.039
my fucking whopper. Bro open your mouth again.

606
00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:21.760
All of a sudden, you know, like all that you

607
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:23.519
know what I'm saying that all that tough talk, all

608
00:37:23.559 --> 00:37:24.679
that being loud talk, you.

609
00:37:24.599 --> 00:37:26.199
Know, like I put her in check just on that.

610
00:37:27.760 --> 00:37:30.079
You know. Coleon was there because he was laughing. He

611
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:34.880
was like, oh shit, you know, I was like, yo,

612
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:36.480
you know what I'm saying, like like you know what

613
00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:39.199
I mean, like just shut the fuck up, you know,

614
00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:40.119
And like she.

615
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:43.280
Was being she was being rowdy and and stupid and

616
00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:45.679
silly and acting and talking all this crazy ship.

617
00:37:45.800 --> 00:37:48.079
Yeah I remember, yeah, man like like like like yo,

618
00:37:48.119 --> 00:37:50.039
you know what, and I tell her, yo, shut the

619
00:37:50.079 --> 00:37:52.719
fuck up, you know, like like like I.

620
00:37:52.679 --> 00:37:55.239
Told her calmly. She's like excuse you, you know you

621
00:37:55.239 --> 00:37:56.760
you know, like trying to be like all like you know,

622
00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:59.559
threatened or whatever that I rose my voice. Then all

623
00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:01.280
of a sudden, you know, all that tough talk went

624
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:04.440
out the window, and like she became submissive after that.

625
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:07.920
You know, So it was like it so you know

626
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:09.079
what I'm saying, Like it was like you know what

627
00:38:09.079 --> 00:38:12.239
I mean, like like you know, like some like you

628
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:14.559
know people out here. I ain't gonna put it on

629
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:15.880
women or men. I'm just gonna put it.

630
00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:17.440
In general, like you know what I'm saying, Like people

631
00:38:17.480 --> 00:38:21.559
out here would you know, would show about their representative

632
00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:25.280
as being you know, aggressive of whatever, when deep beside

633
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:25.960
they're submissive.

634
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:30.840
You know, like yeah, because we don't know what people

635
00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:33.960
have been through, and that might have been who she's

636
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.159
had to be in her life. And by you doing

637
00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:39.679
what you did, you either reminded her of some kind

638
00:38:39.719 --> 00:38:42.360
of traumatic event or you did for her what she

639
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:43.599
needed someone to do.

640
00:38:44.159 --> 00:38:45.920
Yeah, tell her to shut the fuck up. You know

641
00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:46.440
what I'm saying.

642
00:38:46.679 --> 00:38:49.239
Yeah, you know what, you always got to take it there.

643
00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:54.320
No, no, no listen, you know what it's yo, Yo,

644
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:54.880
it's like this.

645
00:38:54.960 --> 00:38:57.480
Right, you know what I mean, Like like you know,

646
00:38:57.599 --> 00:39:05.159
like she was just being you know, like probably, but

647
00:39:04.840 --> 00:39:06.559
but it's like, yo, you know what, like it didn't

648
00:39:06.599 --> 00:39:08.079
even warn't you know what I'm saying for all that

649
00:39:08.119 --> 00:39:12.360
shit to be honest, you know what I mean, Like

650
00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:14.960
like you know, like like I said, you know what,

651
00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:17.760
like a lot of people's attitudes I'm you know what

652
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:19.639
I'm saying, Like like I said, like men and women

653
00:39:19.679 --> 00:39:22.679
in general, like some of them you know, would show

654
00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:26.519
that aggressive side or whatever, you know, just off the jump,

655
00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:29.440
you know, because like because you know, like it's you

656
00:39:29.480 --> 00:39:31.920
know what I'm saying, like it's a good show. You know,

657
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:34.679
like you have people that believe you, but me, I

658
00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:37.559
don't believe you know, you can't tell me shit even

659
00:39:37.639 --> 00:39:41.639
if I stepped in it, you know, like like if

660
00:39:41.639 --> 00:39:43.599
I could see right through that whole facade or whatever,

661
00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:45.599
then you know what I'm saying.

662
00:39:46.079 --> 00:39:46.800
It is what it is.

663
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:48.519
You know what I'm saying, Like nowadays, I'll let you

664
00:39:48.559 --> 00:39:50.960
play with that facade or whatever. You know, this is

665
00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:54.960
the mirage you're trying to like, you know, it's a

666
00:39:55.039 --> 00:39:57.440
hologram you're trying to project out there for people to see.

667
00:39:58.880 --> 00:40:00.320
Good for you. You know what I'm saying, People see it,

668
00:40:00.360 --> 00:40:04.199
people see it. I mean, if I don't believe you,

669
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:05.360
then I don't believe you.

670
00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:10.440
Pivot. I'm not gonna you know, I'm not gonna you.

671
00:40:10.440 --> 00:40:13.119
Know what I'm saying, like kicking you know what I'm saying,

672
00:40:13.159 --> 00:40:14.880
kick kicking back and and be like god, you know

673
00:40:14.880 --> 00:40:16.280
what I'm saying in front of people.

674
00:40:16.519 --> 00:40:17.880
Nah, you know what I'm saying. I'm gonna let you

675
00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:23.159
play yourself. Yeah, you know that's what I do nowadays.

676
00:40:23.199 --> 00:40:26.000
I'm like, you played yourself. Congratulations.

677
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:29.800
That's exactly that. That's how I mean, And just watch you.

678
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:33.400
Just especially women, especially women, you know what I'm saying.

679
00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:35.880
But you know what I don't. I don't, I don't

680
00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:36.719
have you know what I'm saying.

681
00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:37.119
I can't.

682
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:39.719
You know what I'm saying, Like like you know sometimes

683
00:40:39.719 --> 00:40:41.199
you know what I'm saying, it's it's sad.

684
00:40:41.039 --> 00:40:42.400
To watch people play themselves.

685
00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:46.800
But you know, my mom and my dad always told

686
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:53.480
me to mind my own business. M hm, And that's

687
00:40:53.480 --> 00:40:58.880
what the hell I do, mind my business.

688
00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:04.360
Yeah, I mean, nowadays it's it's not it's not it's

689
00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:08.079
not like that. It's it's it's a complete different atmosphere

690
00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:13.480
of these days. It's not either at our age, it's

691
00:41:13.599 --> 00:41:19.880
tough to find that that companionship. You know what I'm saying,

692
00:41:20.599 --> 00:41:24.199
that what that person that that you can hold up,

693
00:41:24.239 --> 00:41:26.480
hold on, hold the whole matter of fact.

694
00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:30.519
You know what, hold on real hold on nowadays.

695
00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:34.400
This episode, this episode is brought to you by zero

696
00:41:34.480 --> 00:41:39.199
Sugar Ship one. Look at that? Does I know you

697
00:41:39.239 --> 00:41:39.960
want one of those?

698
00:41:40.639 --> 00:41:41.679
Not zero Sugar though.

699
00:41:42.519 --> 00:41:44.800
Wait you know what, Yeah, you need to start fucking

700
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.400
with the zero Sugar zero Sugar one.

701
00:41:48.039 --> 00:41:50.239
And it's listen to that.

702
00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:54.639
But you know what Also, this is brought to you

703
00:41:54.719 --> 00:41:57.079
by Sexy Ass Diet Water.

704
00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:58.000
It's my water.

705
00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:00.719
You know what I'm saying. The closes holy water. You'll

706
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:06.039
drink Lojah Amen anyway.

707
00:42:06.519 --> 00:42:14.159
But I mean it's I think I think what well

708
00:42:14.239 --> 00:42:21.119
A g was getting at before about you know, having

709
00:42:21.159 --> 00:42:25.519
a partner that if if you if you're feeling some

710
00:42:25.639 --> 00:42:28.079
type of way, you know what I'm saying, or if

711
00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:33.119
you know you you shouldn't be in a relationship or

712
00:42:33.159 --> 00:42:36.199
involved with someone who's that going to be able to

713
00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:38.920
deal with or handle what it is you're you're you're

714
00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:39.840
putting out there.

715
00:42:40.480 --> 00:42:40.639
Bro.

716
00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:43.320
It's also comfortable too though, you know what I'm saying,

717
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:45.800
Like like you know, mean like like as a man,

718
00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:48.960
you gotta be comfortable with who you're with, you know.

719
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:51.679
Like, dude, I seem like comfortable with the person you're with,

720
00:42:51.800 --> 00:42:54.599
the you don't need to be with them exactly.

721
00:42:54.800 --> 00:42:55.880
You know what I'm saying for that, you know what

722
00:42:55.880 --> 00:42:58.199
I mean, Like like you know, go buy a Teddy Bear,

723
00:42:58.280 --> 00:43:02.000
you know what I'm saying, talk to the band, you know,

724
00:43:02.119 --> 00:43:04.440
like you might as well. I mean, I mean, you

725
00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:07.440
know what, Let's keep it, Let's keep it a hundred,

726
00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:10.400
Let's keep it a solid hundred, right. The only reason why,

727
00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:12.679
like most people are still with their partners right now.

728
00:43:13.239 --> 00:43:14.800
You know what I'm saying, is because they're scared to

729
00:43:14.840 --> 00:43:19.320
be alone, you know what I mean, Like they're just

730
00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:20.320
scared to be alone.

731
00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:24.440
There are a lot of people like that, you.

732
00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:27.039
Know, because like you know what, you know, they you know,

733
00:43:27.079 --> 00:43:28.559
they you know, they looked at you know, they looked

734
00:43:28.599 --> 00:43:30.880
at their birth certificates, they look at the year they

735
00:43:30.880 --> 00:43:31.239
were born.

736
00:43:31.239 --> 00:43:33.159
They did the imagine. They're like, oh my god, you

737
00:43:33.159 --> 00:43:35.960
know what, you know, like this is this is my

738
00:43:36.039 --> 00:43:37.079
last chance, and this that and.

739
00:43:37.079 --> 00:43:39.840
The third and blah blah blah is that TG in

740
00:43:39.880 --> 00:43:48.199
the car.

741
00:43:45.800 --> 00:43:46.199
Stopped.

742
00:43:47.519 --> 00:43:50.920
She came back from cleansing. She came back. She came

743
00:43:50.960 --> 00:44:03.400
back from her ethnic cleansing class ethnic. Yes, right, you

744
00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:07.679
know we need more ethnic cleansing and less love. I agree.

745
00:44:08.679 --> 00:44:11.679
Yeah, that's it exactly.

746
00:44:13.039 --> 00:44:13.960
Well, you headed.

747
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:17.559
Going to get some stuff.

748
00:44:21.559 --> 00:44:26.559
You're gonna around headed there out there.

749
00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:35.880
There are deer out here, that's for sure. There's more

750
00:44:36.119 --> 00:44:38.760
like animals that runs than deer.

751
00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:41.719
You know what, You might run into Jubbadian.

752
00:44:44.239 --> 00:44:47.199
I will definitely run into a Jabbadiah, for sure.

753
00:44:49.119 --> 00:44:53.519
We're standing in the style lives living in an Amish paradize.

754
00:44:57.639 --> 00:45:01.039
I think it'll be safer if you you wait until

755
00:45:01.079 --> 00:45:01.840
you got back.

756
00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:05.599
If you guys are so out, I mean right now

757
00:45:05.719 --> 00:45:10.760
I'm part in waiting. Uh but whatever are you talking about?

758
00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:11.199
Anyway?

759
00:45:12.880 --> 00:45:13.039
Uh?

760
00:45:15.679 --> 00:45:19.440
Usual stuff? The why all right? Why don't you answer

761
00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:22.639
this question? And maybe maybe you know you get you

762
00:45:22.719 --> 00:45:27.920
can chime in on this. Why do you think men cheat?

763
00:45:32.119 --> 00:45:33.199
Why do I think men che?

764
00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:34.960
Yeah?

765
00:45:37.199 --> 00:45:37.280
Right?

766
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:42.480
Did he answer so many things?

767
00:45:44.599 --> 00:45:47.119
All right? So so why do why do women do it?

768
00:45:48.199 --> 00:45:48.559
All right?

769
00:45:48.679 --> 00:45:48.880
Well?

770
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:57.239
Men, we're on a pod right now. Yeah, So anyway,

771
00:45:58.440 --> 00:46:02.719
why do men? I think it's different.

772
00:46:02.760 --> 00:46:04.159
It could be a different thing.

773
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:10.199
It could be a cultural thing. Unfortunately, it's like something

774
00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:16.719
that's taught, like that's what men do. But many typically

775
00:46:17.039 --> 00:46:20.199
tally cheap because they're not getting the attention they wanted

776
00:46:20.280 --> 00:46:20.840
need at home.

777
00:46:21.480 --> 00:46:24.280
It's the same thing for women. A woman's gonna cheat

778
00:46:24.679 --> 00:46:30.920
because she's not getting something she wants at home, and

779
00:46:31.119 --> 00:46:36.800
so instead of communicating, people tend to step out, you

780
00:46:36.880 --> 00:46:37.039
know what.

781
00:46:37.239 --> 00:46:40.320
And all honestly, I think I think, like the best

782
00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:41.719
you know what, I'm saying, the best answer as to

783
00:46:41.800 --> 00:46:48.239
why men cheat it is because we can the same

784
00:46:48.280 --> 00:46:50.119
way why women cheat because y'all can't.

785
00:46:50.440 --> 00:46:54.320
You know what I'm saying, Women and men can cheat,

786
00:46:54.800 --> 00:46:56.960
but why but why do it?

787
00:46:58.280 --> 00:46:58.480
Why?

788
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:00.679
Because you know what?

789
00:47:01.599 --> 00:47:06.079
All right, you know what I'm gonna dig into my

790
00:47:06.199 --> 00:47:10.519
twenty year old self, right all right, you know what

791
00:47:10.519 --> 00:47:12.760
I'm saying, Like like the same way that how smokel

792
00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:15.800
weed was illegal in the streets but we still did

793
00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:16.280
it anyway.

794
00:47:16.280 --> 00:47:20.119
It's the rush. It was the rush back then, you

795
00:47:20.159 --> 00:47:22.000
know what I'm saying. To see you know what I'm saying,

796
00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:24.280
like and then like you know, when we got caught,

797
00:47:24.800 --> 00:47:26.719
you know, like when I got caught. Yeah, I was sorry.

798
00:47:26.840 --> 00:47:29.079
I'm sorry I got I was stooped up to get caught,

799
00:47:29.119 --> 00:47:30.960
you know what I'm saying, But I wasn't started for

800
00:47:31.039 --> 00:47:33.559
the action, like the same way, like you know what,

801
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:36.960
Like it sounds it sounds like the dog shit to say,

802
00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:40.599
because it is, you know, it really is.

803
00:47:41.280 --> 00:47:44.119
But that's what it was back then for me.

804
00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:46.480
You know, like I'm speaking on my experimence, like you

805
00:47:46.519 --> 00:47:48.280
know what, I cheated because I could, you know why,

806
00:47:49.039 --> 00:47:51.719
because you know what, like because you know what, women

807
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:53.880
gassed me upset, I look good. I gassed myself up

808
00:47:53.920 --> 00:47:58.440
even more. You know, like I became narcissistic. I mean,

809
00:47:58.559 --> 00:47:59.079
I'm keeping it.

810
00:47:59.199 --> 00:47:59.679
I'm keeping it.

811
00:47:59.719 --> 00:48:03.920
Will I became narcissistic whatever, you know, Like I became

812
00:48:03.960 --> 00:48:06.079
being the narcissistic because you know what, I knew I

813
00:48:06.119 --> 00:48:09.239
could do it and that I did.

814
00:48:10.599 --> 00:48:17.440
You know, like, also feel like you were encouraged by

815
00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:20.119
other people that I think that was eble.

816
00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:26.280
Well, I was encouraged by my penis and porn. No,

817
00:48:26.440 --> 00:48:29.159
I'm serious, you know, I'm serious. You know what. I

818
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:31.360
was encouraged by my you know what I'm saying, by

819
00:48:31.440 --> 00:48:35.519
my penis and porn right and liquor.

820
00:48:37.480 --> 00:48:42.320
Badass was in front of me, you know, and if

821
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:45.679
you had some, if you had a boyfriend, don't plan

822
00:48:45.800 --> 00:48:51.039
on going home tonight, you know, don't worry about it.

823
00:48:51.800 --> 00:48:54.159
Look, look, I can't. I can't go. I can't look.

824
00:48:54.239 --> 00:48:58.159
Let me tell you something. I can't. Look. If I

825
00:48:58.320 --> 00:49:03.559
if I knew, if I knew that a woman I

826
00:49:03.719 --> 00:49:06.920
was talking to was involved with somebody already, I couldn't.

827
00:49:06.920 --> 00:49:07.559
I couldn't do it.

828
00:49:08.239 --> 00:49:11.320
See, I'm going by back then. I'm going by back then.

829
00:49:11.400 --> 00:49:14.599
See because like to me, to me, you know what,

830
00:49:15.239 --> 00:49:18.760
you know what I remember some dude calling are you're

831
00:49:18.760 --> 00:49:20.559
talking to my girl or you was with my girl.

832
00:49:20.599 --> 00:49:22.159
I'm like, Yo, it was not your girl. You know

833
00:49:22.199 --> 00:49:24.079
what I'm saying, that's not your girl. It was just

834
00:49:24.159 --> 00:49:30.239
your turn, you know, like at the end of the day,

835
00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:33.119
because that's what it was. I mean, like, I'm like, Yo,

836
00:49:33.119 --> 00:49:34.280
I don't know why you're coming to me for you

837
00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:36.960
should be thinking me that your girl got exposed.

838
00:49:38.440 --> 00:49:40.280
You know what I'm saying. Now, if you want that problem,

839
00:49:40.519 --> 00:49:41.840
if you want to go back to that problem, you

840
00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:47.079
go right ahead, simple as that. That's what it was. Like.

841
00:49:47.199 --> 00:49:49.519
That's how like my brain used to work. Used to

842
00:49:49.760 --> 00:49:55.679
is the key word used to? You know, Like now

843
00:49:55.800 --> 00:49:56.119
is yo?

844
00:49:56.639 --> 00:49:58.039
Like now it's like you know what I'm saying, Like

845
00:49:58.920 --> 00:50:00.320
like you know what I mean, like like stuff, you

846
00:50:00.400 --> 00:50:02.480
know what first off, you know what I'm saying.

847
00:50:02.519 --> 00:50:05.320
Like when all of us was in our twenties.

848
00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:07.079
You know what I'm saying, Like, like, you know what

849
00:50:07.079 --> 00:50:09.360
I'm saying, there was like a huge gap because like

850
00:50:10.119 --> 00:50:11.559
women in general, you know what I'm saying, And you

851
00:50:11.599 --> 00:50:13.559
know what I'm saying, late teens, early twenties.

852
00:50:13.559 --> 00:50:14.960
You know what I'm saying. You're with your boyfriend, you

853
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:16.519
know what I mean? Like women.

854
00:50:16.679 --> 00:50:19.360
You know what I'm saying, in my opinion, my opinion,

855
00:50:20.639 --> 00:50:23.280
you guys had this. I'm in love with him because

856
00:50:23.320 --> 00:50:24.880
you know what, you have a sex. You know what

857
00:50:24.880 --> 00:50:25.199
I'm saying.

858
00:50:25.199 --> 00:50:27.000
And you feel the energy. You know what I'm saying.

859
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:30.159
You know it was a transfers to energy, you know

860
00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:31.519
what I'm saying. So therefore, you know what i mean,

861
00:50:31.639 --> 00:50:34.039
Like women fell in love, you know what I'm saying,

862
00:50:34.039 --> 00:50:35.280
because it felt good the people that.

863
00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:39.039
One person us, you know what I'm saying, Like like

864
00:50:39.119 --> 00:50:43.119
you know, like like we were already covered. You know

865
00:50:43.159 --> 00:50:46.440
what I'm saying. We were already corrupted back then because

866
00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:46.719
of like.

867
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:49.480
You know, of how you know what I'm saying, Like

868
00:50:50.239 --> 00:50:53.280
we're seeing people come before us, you know, handle this ship.

869
00:50:53.960 --> 00:50:54.519
You know what I'm saying.

870
00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:56.000
So in a way, you know what i mean, Like

871
00:50:56.599 --> 00:50:58.800
like you know, like the older heads, like they paved

872
00:50:58.840 --> 00:51:00.719
the way for us to be just as corrupted as dumb,

873
00:51:02.039 --> 00:51:04.559
you know, Like you know what like even though I

874
00:51:04.639 --> 00:51:06.599
had my parents in the house, you know, and they

875
00:51:06.760 --> 00:51:08.360
and like they showed me what love was.

876
00:51:08.400 --> 00:51:09.000
You know what I'm saying.

877
00:51:10.079 --> 00:51:13.840
I didn't follow that route, you know I was. I

878
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:17.559
want to more, you know where I identified with and

879
00:51:18.519 --> 00:51:20.480
most and like both like for instance, most of my

880
00:51:20.719 --> 00:51:22.679
most of my cousins were players. Man, So it's like,

881
00:51:22.760 --> 00:51:26.199
you know what, I think I became a player with them,

882
00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:31.119
you know, like right and and what do you call it?

883
00:51:32.039 --> 00:51:34.519
And and and in all honesty, it took one person

884
00:51:34.599 --> 00:51:36.559
of you saying to really fucked me up.

885
00:51:36.440 --> 00:51:39.400
About relationships for a long time, and I was like

886
00:51:39.440 --> 00:51:42.599
my high school love and that was it. It just

887
00:51:42.679 --> 00:51:44.480
took that one heartbreak and that was it, you know

888
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:48.679
what I'm saying. Everybody else worked for years for years.

889
00:51:50.559 --> 00:51:57.239
On a second yo, TG, Yeah, I'm getting I'm getting

890
00:51:57.239 --> 00:52:01.960
a lot of like sounds in the back around if

891
00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:05.000
if if we're when you get home, try to come on,

892
00:52:05.199 --> 00:52:06.519
let me text me and I'll let you know if

893
00:52:06.519 --> 00:52:09.880
we're still on, then you come back on. All right,

894
00:52:10.760 --> 00:52:12.519
all right, just just make sure you text you when

895
00:52:12.559 --> 00:52:13.440
you get back to the crib.

896
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:24.960
And please no more think cleansing classes. Yo.

897
00:52:25.079 --> 00:52:26.480
But like but but like yo, you know what, that's

898
00:52:26.519 --> 00:52:28.239
what it was, you know what I'm saying. So like

899
00:52:28.639 --> 00:52:30.679
I mean as far as like you know us men

900
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:33.440
like not a ten times. You know what I'm saying,

901
00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:36.000
we became like when it comes to relationships in our

902
00:52:36.039 --> 00:52:39.559
twenties whatever. We always became villainous because of that one person.

903
00:52:41.119 --> 00:52:44.440
All it took was one right, you know and yo,

904
00:52:44.519 --> 00:52:46.079
you know what and Yo, you know what this is

905
00:52:46.119 --> 00:52:47.199
where you know what I'm saying, we got it. You

906
00:52:47.199 --> 00:52:48.960
know what I'm saying, Like we got to give their

907
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:51.880
women to you know what I'm saying, their props because

908
00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:54.360
you know what, they didn't stop at one heartbreak. You

909
00:52:54.360 --> 00:52:55.519
know what I'm saying. They kept you know what I'm saying,

910
00:52:55.559 --> 00:52:57.079
They went to like you know what I'm saying, They

911
00:52:57.119 --> 00:53:00.159
stuft with multiple heartbreaks, you know what I mean, and

912
00:53:00.800 --> 00:53:04.400
trying to find something. We stopped that one because Yo,

913
00:53:04.800 --> 00:53:06.599
we stopped that one because you know what, we didn't

914
00:53:06.639 --> 00:53:06.960
know how.

915
00:53:06.880 --> 00:53:09.039
To handle that ship with our pride and our ego.

916
00:53:09.360 --> 00:53:10.840
You know what I mean, Like like yo, you know what,

917
00:53:11.599 --> 00:53:13.239
like like women they have you know what I'm saying,

918
00:53:13.239 --> 00:53:14.800
women have prid of ego, but they don't put it

919
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:16.639
as like their main you know what I'm saying, as

920
00:53:16.719 --> 00:53:19.440
like a main you know, like character art.

921
00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:20.599
You see what I mean.

922
00:53:21.559 --> 00:53:23.840
Like we do so when we get our heartbroken, you

923
00:53:23.840 --> 00:53:25.239
know what I'm saying, our product ego. You know what

924
00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:28.440
I'm saying, gets hit just as hard too. So therefore,

925
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:29.719
you know what I'm saying, like we don't know how

926
00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:32.960
to deal with that because you know what, we're so

927
00:53:33.199 --> 00:53:35.960
proudful and so egotistical that when it breaks. You know

928
00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:37.559
what I'm saying, Like we're trying to scramble, trying to

929
00:53:37.599 --> 00:53:38.239
you know what I'm saying.

930
00:53:38.159 --> 00:53:39.840
Reach for straws and reach for the scots, you know

931
00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:42.079
what I'm saying, trying to grab at something right.

932
00:53:42.199 --> 00:53:44.639
So like you so you cheated because you were taught

933
00:53:44.679 --> 00:53:46.840
to cheat. Basically, That's what man, he's saying.

934
00:53:48.920 --> 00:53:52.639
I cheated because you know what I'm saying back then,

935
00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:56.239
you know what I mean, Like yo, back then. You

936
00:53:56.239 --> 00:53:58.400
know what I'm saying, like like not want my parents.

937
00:53:58.519 --> 00:54:00.000
Not with my parents, I've seen them with my cousin.

938
00:54:00.599 --> 00:54:01.960
You know what I'm saying, my older cousins. You know

939
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:03.679
what I'm saying, Like my parents, like they're married, Like

940
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:06.519
damn there. You know what I'm saying, since Jesus Christ

941
00:54:06.639 --> 00:54:09.320
was like walking to earth, that's how long they've been together.

942
00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:11.400
You know what I mean, Like you know and like

943
00:54:13.119 --> 00:54:14.199
it was like I was always split.

944
00:54:14.239 --> 00:54:15.960
You know what I'm saying, Like I wanted to model

945
00:54:16.599 --> 00:54:20.159
myself after them, but like I always thought that shit

946
00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:21.039
was corny back then.

947
00:54:22.400 --> 00:54:22.559
You know.

948
00:54:22.599 --> 00:54:26.280
I always thought that it was like real corny. So therefore,

949
00:54:26.360 --> 00:54:29.280
you know, like like in a way I was like

950
00:54:30.239 --> 00:54:32.519
I just did what I wanted to do. But in

951
00:54:32.599 --> 00:54:33.559
a way, you know what I'm saying.

952
00:54:33.440 --> 00:54:36.920
Like all my cousins are like you know, all like

953
00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:38.719
all the old school has and even the circle that

954
00:54:38.800 --> 00:54:41.119
we was around, you know what I'm saying, even a

955
00:54:41.159 --> 00:54:44.199
circle that that I was around. You know what I'm saying,

956
00:54:44.280 --> 00:54:47.639
Like we did some foul shit, you know, but like

957
00:54:47.719 --> 00:54:50.639
I said, you know, all it took was one one

958
00:54:50.679 --> 00:54:52.800
heartbreak that you know what I'm saying, Like you know

959
00:54:52.800 --> 00:54:54.880
what I'm saying That it was like you know what

960
00:54:54.880 --> 00:54:56.679
I'm saying, like a like a villainous arc, you know

961
00:54:56.679 --> 00:54:59.559
what I'm saying, Like how like you know, doctor dooon

962
00:54:59.639 --> 00:55:05.960
became doctor doing and ship you know, like that's how

963
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:08.679
it is, you know what I mean. Like, but see,

964
00:55:09.039 --> 00:55:11.119
but see, you know what the thing is with my well,

965
00:55:11.159 --> 00:55:13.719
my parents in general, like they will see God, you

966
00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:15.239
know what I'm saying, girls call the house, you know

967
00:55:15.280 --> 00:55:17.159
what I'm saying. They'll see girls coming in out the

968
00:55:17.239 --> 00:55:19.199
house and ship, you know what I mean, Like they

969
00:55:19.199 --> 00:55:22.960
didn't like it. They hated it, you know, like my

970
00:55:23.039 --> 00:55:26.559
mom used to be like, yeah, you know your brothers.

971
00:55:28.639 --> 00:55:32.719
That's a great question, so if your parents were together, because.

972
00:55:32.519 --> 00:55:37.199
I thought I thought that ship was cornyback then, you know,

973
00:55:37.360 --> 00:55:38.199
like I really thought. Yo.

974
00:55:38.440 --> 00:55:40.400
First off, I was in what I'm saying, like every

975
00:55:40.440 --> 00:55:41.920
week and I was out in the bars and clubs

976
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:43.960
or whatever, you know, and it was so easy, like

977
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:46.119
you know what I'm saying, like you know, like getting

978
00:55:46.159 --> 00:55:48.199
a girl and there I was like, Yo, why am

979
00:55:48.239 --> 00:55:51.840
I even in a relationship? You know what I'm saying, Like, Yo,

980
00:55:51.880 --> 00:55:53.719
you know what like like back then, like back then,

981
00:55:53.719 --> 00:55:54.679
you know what I'm saying. I used to look at

982
00:55:54.719 --> 00:55:56.199
my parents that got right, you know what, that's their ship.

983
00:55:56.199 --> 00:55:57.639
You know what I'm saying, that's their ever. You know

984
00:55:57.679 --> 00:55:58.079
what I'm saying.

985
00:55:58.119 --> 00:56:00.920
This is my error where I look at relationships as

986
00:56:01.000 --> 00:56:03.480
like like prostitution.

987
00:56:04.679 --> 00:56:06.320
You know what I'm saying, Like, you know what I'm

988
00:56:06.320 --> 00:56:09.800
saying that because Yo, you know what I used to

989
00:56:09.800 --> 00:56:11.840
look at as prostitution because you know what, you're still

990
00:56:11.920 --> 00:56:15.199
paying just to get something that's back then, you know

991
00:56:15.239 --> 00:56:17.039
what I'm saying, like like, yo, you know what, Like,

992
00:56:17.719 --> 00:56:20.880
like I said, all they did was take all that

993
00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:22.920
there was took one person to break you know what

994
00:56:22.920 --> 00:56:24.840
I'm saying, like really fucked me up.

995
00:56:27.480 --> 00:56:30.440
You know what I'm saying, Yeah, all it took was

996
00:56:30.480 --> 00:56:32.480
one person to really fuck me up? Yo.

997
00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:37.119
You know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, you're right. You

998
00:56:37.159 --> 00:56:38.719
know what I'm saying, Like like I said, you know what,

999
00:56:39.119 --> 00:56:40.960
And that's why I'm admitted to you now that Yo,

1000
00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:43.239
you know what, I was egotistical and profer back then.

1001
00:56:44.719 --> 00:56:47.480
So real quick, real quick, real quick. I want to

1002
00:56:47.519 --> 00:56:50.119
get back. I want to go on the backtrack a

1003
00:56:50.119 --> 00:56:52.960
little bit to a to a to attack, to a

1004
00:56:53.079 --> 00:56:56.920
message in the chat room from.

1005
00:56:58.639 --> 00:57:00.960
But hold on, hold on, wait, wait, hold on, but

1006
00:57:01.159 --> 00:57:03.639
right now, right now, you know what I'm saying, I'm

1007
00:57:03.960 --> 00:57:07.119
right now, I'm nowhere near that near.

1008
00:57:07.000 --> 00:57:08.719
Who that person is because you know what, I'm in

1009
00:57:08.760 --> 00:57:11.159
a good situation right now, and like, yo, you know what,

1010
00:57:11.679 --> 00:57:15.559
and another thing too, another thing too, and another thing

1011
00:57:15.639 --> 00:57:19.480
too right out front of you know what I'm saying, Like, Yo,

1012
00:57:19.840 --> 00:57:21.239
you know what I'm saying, Like in all realness, you

1013
00:57:21.239 --> 00:57:22.639
know what I'm saying. Yeah, I be talking my shit,

1014
00:57:22.679 --> 00:57:24.039
you know what I'm saying every week or whatever.

1015
00:57:24.119 --> 00:57:25.800
You know, I'm like like whatever, but I know what

1016
00:57:25.880 --> 00:57:29.400
I'm talking about in the way so like our brains

1017
00:57:29.440 --> 00:57:32.199
don't fully developed to twenty five. So like so like,

1018
00:57:32.239 --> 00:57:34.000
you know what I'm saying. Whatever I perceived that's love

1019
00:57:34.400 --> 00:57:36.039
was me. You know what I'm saying, It wasn't love.

1020
00:57:36.119 --> 00:57:38.960
It was just me loving a bust a nut if

1021
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:43.159
you will, you know, Like I didn't want you know

1022
00:57:43.159 --> 00:57:44.880
what I'm saying. Like it took me, you know what

1023
00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:49.280
I'm saying, Like like like when I started understanding you

1024
00:57:49.280 --> 00:57:52.559
know what I'm saying, Like what it was like, I

1025
00:57:52.679 --> 00:57:55.800
was already you know what I'm saying, like getting with

1026
00:57:55.920 --> 00:57:57.159
girls here, and then you know what I'm saying, it

1027
00:57:57.239 --> 00:57:58.920
was habitual to the point you know what I'm saying.

1028
00:57:59.039 --> 00:58:01.440
So like I had to like try to slow that down.

1029
00:58:01.519 --> 00:58:03.400
And when I did, like I figured out what I wanted.

1030
00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:05.079
I figured out that, yo, you know what I want

1031
00:58:05.119 --> 00:58:06.440
to you know what I'm saying, I want to settle down.

1032
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:08.480
I was already like in my early.

1033
00:58:08.400 --> 00:58:12.239
Thirties and then and then like I said, you know what,

1034
00:58:12.360 --> 00:58:14.840
like since I started off with this whole energy stuff earlier,

1035
00:58:15.679 --> 00:58:17.360
what you throw out to this world. You know what

1036
00:58:17.400 --> 00:58:20.599
I'm saying, Oh, you know what, It'll always find a

1037
00:58:20.639 --> 00:58:24.119
way to come back to you. So it came back

1038
00:58:24.159 --> 00:58:26.480
to me, like you know, for the most of my thirties,

1039
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:27.719
you know what I'm saying, like trying to you know,

1040
00:58:28.400 --> 00:58:30.119
trying to be in a relationship that you know, just

1041
00:58:30.960 --> 00:58:31.840
that person or whatever.

1042
00:58:32.639 --> 00:58:35.360
Boone. You know what I'm saying. Every every foulship that

1043
00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:38.599
I've ever done, every fouleship that I've ever done, was

1044
00:58:38.639 --> 00:58:41.480
coming back to me. You know what I'm saying twice fold,

1045
00:58:43.519 --> 00:58:44.800
you know, every foulship.

1046
00:58:45.880 --> 00:58:47.440
And it got to the point where I was like, yo,

1047
00:58:47.480 --> 00:58:49.280
you know what, I ain't even gonna play victim about it,

1048
00:58:49.400 --> 00:58:51.559
you know, because you know what, like, I'm pretty sure

1049
00:58:51.679 --> 00:58:55.679
you know this is happening because of the foul should

1050
00:58:55.679 --> 00:58:59.079
I've done earlier, and I'm here running from it. And

1051
00:58:59.159 --> 00:59:01.639
now that I slow down, boom. You know what I'm saying,

1052
00:59:01.639 --> 00:59:02.760
I'm getting hit left and right.

1053
00:59:03.599 --> 00:59:06.360
So you know what took it on your chin?

1054
00:59:07.880 --> 00:59:10.400
You a man? He said, Now you're older, looking for

1055
00:59:10.559 --> 00:59:12.159
your parents? Have that tyronic?

1056
00:59:13.000 --> 00:59:15.960
Actually I got what my parents have now. It is ironic.

1057
00:59:17.119 --> 00:59:19.239
You know what I'm saying. It is you know what.

1058
00:59:19.599 --> 00:59:23.440
It's ironic, but like I wish you know what I'm saying.

1059
00:59:24.119 --> 00:59:27.280
I wish I wasn't so villainous back then, you know

1060
00:59:27.320 --> 00:59:29.239
what I'm saying. And I would have saw you know,

1061
00:59:30.119 --> 00:59:31.840
I would have saw things a lot earlier because you

1062
00:59:31.920 --> 00:59:34.039
know what it would have said, Yo, you know what,

1063
00:59:34.119 --> 00:59:37.360
It would have saved me the trouble. However, however, you

1064
00:59:37.440 --> 00:59:40.400
know what me wishing that, you know what I'm saying,

1065
00:59:41.239 --> 00:59:42.760
I wouldn't You know what I'm saying, Like I woult

1066
00:59:42.800 --> 00:59:43.760
to have another chance.

1067
00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:46.000
You know what I'm saying to be a You know

1068
00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:46.559
what I'm saying to a.

1069
00:59:46.599 --> 00:59:49.800
Father to a beautiful baby girl that's sleeping in the

1070
00:59:49.880 --> 00:59:53.920
room right now, throwing up on me right, you know

1071
00:59:54.800 --> 00:59:56.880
that's peeing on me like she's our Kelly. You know

1072
00:59:56.880 --> 00:59:59.159
what I'm saying, Like I wouldn't have the opportunity again.

1073
00:59:59.639 --> 01:00:02.079
So right, things play out the way they play out,

1074
01:00:02.119 --> 01:00:03.719
and I'm happy they play it out the way they

1075
01:00:03.800 --> 01:00:07.519
played out. It's just that, you know what I could

1076
01:00:07.599 --> 01:00:12.039
probably you know what, And honestly, you know, like like

1077
01:00:12.199 --> 01:00:14.800
men in general, you know what I'm saying, like like

1078
01:00:15.559 --> 01:00:17.519
I can't speak for you know what I'm saying, all men,

1079
01:00:18.039 --> 01:00:19.639
I could probably speak for some because you know what

1080
01:00:19.719 --> 01:00:22.840
we probably you know, you know, like we walk the

1081
01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:25.639
same road, right, And all it took was like you

1082
01:00:25.639 --> 01:00:27.519
know what I'm saying, like one heartbreak and like yo,

1083
01:00:27.599 --> 01:00:30.000
we just became like you know what I'm saying, like

1084
01:00:30.039 --> 01:00:32.880
the villain trying to take over the world and shit right,

1085
01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:36.360
but like yo, like you know what I'm saying, Like

1086
01:00:36.440 --> 01:00:37.800
after a while though, you know what I mean, like

1087
01:00:38.039 --> 01:00:40.440
that shit gets barring them, you know what I'm saying,

1088
01:00:40.480 --> 01:00:44.719
Like like I never knew what it was that, you

1089
01:00:44.760 --> 01:00:47.480
know what I'm saying, to be with someone and have

1090
01:00:47.639 --> 01:00:52.320
a meaningless nut in other words, like a straight faced orgasm.

1091
01:00:52.960 --> 01:00:54.880
And then like you know, like that like it happened

1092
01:00:54.920 --> 01:00:57.920
and I was like, wow, I didn't even enjoy it,

1093
01:00:58.000 --> 01:00:59.480
like you know what I'm saying, Like I enjoyed it

1094
01:00:59.519 --> 01:01:02.280
for the moment. But then I'm in the bathroom, you

1095
01:01:02.320 --> 01:01:05.960
know what I'm saying, like washing up and I feel disgusting,

1096
01:01:06.880 --> 01:01:09.039
you know what I'm saying, Like like you know what,

1097
01:01:09.440 --> 01:01:12.079
and I'm like, gosh, so this is what prostitutes feel like, Okay,

1098
01:01:13.519 --> 01:01:16.199
you know, Like the thing is I didn't even get

1099
01:01:16.239 --> 01:01:16.559
paid for it.

1100
01:01:16.639 --> 01:01:17.320
This was for free.

1101
01:01:20.079 --> 01:01:21.840
And then you know what I'm saying, that's when I realized,

1102
01:01:21.840 --> 01:01:23.280
I'm like, yo, you know what, I'm way too old

1103
01:01:23.280 --> 01:01:26.960
for this ship. You know, way too old for this ship,

1104
01:01:27.039 --> 01:01:28.960
like you know, to be out here. You know what

1105
01:01:29.000 --> 01:01:33.440
I'm saying, that we put myself out here like that. Yeah,

1106
01:01:33.559 --> 01:01:35.880
it took a very long time. But then but you

1107
01:01:35.960 --> 01:01:37.599
know what the thing is though, like I'm hard headed,

1108
01:01:37.679 --> 01:01:41.880
like I said before, you know what, like there's man

1109
01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:44.079
like me out here that's very like you know what

1110
01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:45.320
I'm saying, very hard headed.

1111
01:01:46.360 --> 01:01:50.559
You know, like like opportunities could come, you know, you

1112
01:01:50.599 --> 01:01:52.199
know what I'm saying, and we'll just still look at

1113
01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:53.760
it like you know what, I'm still going to do

1114
01:01:54.079 --> 01:01:56.800
my way, and.

1115
01:01:58.599 --> 01:02:02.800
That whole I'm gonna do it by way is that

1116
01:02:02.960 --> 01:02:07.880
my way of the highway. Attitude is what what stunted

1117
01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:08.360
my growth.

1118
01:02:11.760 --> 01:02:15.400
Hm hm, So I completely get it. Man, I understand

1119
01:02:16.440 --> 01:02:17.119
you're different.

1120
01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:20.280
You were different, you know what I mean, like you know,

1121
01:02:20.400 --> 01:02:24.159
like but you know, like like see and that and

1122
01:02:24.239 --> 01:02:25.199
you know, you know what, and that's the.

1123
01:02:25.199 --> 01:02:28.480
Reason why like the pool right now, the pool right

1124
01:02:28.519 --> 01:02:30.840
now is like really messed up because like there's still

1125
01:02:30.880 --> 01:02:32.519
people that used to be like me that are still

1126
01:02:32.719 --> 01:02:35.320
out here, you know, trying to hold onto something that

1127
01:02:35.440 --> 01:02:36.280
no longer exists.

1128
01:02:37.239 --> 01:02:42.159
Right, so real quick, I got this. There's a couple

1129
01:02:42.199 --> 01:02:44.039
of things I want to I want to talk about

1130
01:02:44.159 --> 01:02:53.960
right quick. One of them we have, all right, all right,

1131
01:02:56.280 --> 01:02:58.559
there's a comment in the chat room I want to

1132
01:02:58.599 --> 01:03:05.079
get you and but there's also there's also an email

1133
01:03:07.320 --> 01:03:13.480
from from from from from a fan that they want

1134
01:03:13.599 --> 01:03:17.559
us to talk about something right quick. So I'm gonna

1135
01:03:17.559 --> 01:03:24.320
pull the email up and I want lady g two

1136
01:03:25.599 --> 01:03:27.880
ladies first to speak on it.

1137
01:03:29.119 --> 01:03:30.519
I don't know if that's gonna let me.

1138
01:03:31.519 --> 01:03:33.679
No, No, I'm not. I'm gonna put myself on you.

1139
01:03:34.239 --> 01:03:39.880
Trust me, you got this. I'm gonna behave. I don't

1140
01:03:39.880 --> 01:03:44.960
think you know how I'm over.

1141
01:03:45.280 --> 01:03:48.039
So here's here's the first. Here's the first. Here's the

1142
01:03:48.119 --> 01:03:48.679
first question.

1143
01:03:50.679 --> 01:03:52.079
All right, go ahead, all right?

1144
01:03:53.800 --> 01:03:56.920
When you're when you're, when your partner in your relationship

1145
01:03:57.000 --> 01:04:01.119
doesn't feel enough or adequate, how can you help them

1146
01:04:01.199 --> 01:04:07.079
through their feelings and insecurities? Do I have to repeat

1147
01:04:07.119 --> 01:04:12.159
the Question's.

1148
01:04:09.719 --> 01:04:10.960
Gonna answer that one? You?

1149
01:04:11.199 --> 01:04:15.079
You can't you? The only thing you can do is

1150
01:04:15.199 --> 01:04:22.360
be present. Unfortunately, when it comes to insecurities. That person

1151
01:04:22.840 --> 01:04:30.079
is the only one who can overcome that in whatever way,

1152
01:04:30.199 --> 01:04:35.519
whether it's going to therapy, doing some self help, because

1153
01:04:35.519 --> 01:04:40.800
I'm sure even before this moment right the partner has

1154
01:04:43.480 --> 01:04:46.239
has told them how wonderful they are, how great they are.

1155
01:04:47.159 --> 01:04:51.039
The unfortunate thing is with someone who has low self esteem,

1156
01:04:51.199 --> 01:04:57.440
someone who has, you know, doubts about themselves. It doesn't

1157
01:04:57.480 --> 01:05:01.960
matter what anybody does or what anybody says. If you

1158
01:05:02.159 --> 01:05:08.119
feel inadequate, you're the only one who can combat that.

1159
01:05:09.519 --> 01:05:12.719
There's nothing that anybody else could say or do to

1160
01:05:12.840 --> 01:05:15.760
fix that or help you fix that. The only thing

1161
01:05:15.840 --> 01:05:19.679
you can do is be present and if they ask

1162
01:05:19.800 --> 01:05:22.199
for your support, be there to support them.

1163
01:05:24.360 --> 01:05:27.280
That's what's up. You can kind of Lady g for

1164
01:05:27.360 --> 01:05:28.280
the words of wisdom.

1165
01:05:28.960 --> 01:05:31.360
Hey, you know what, you know what I.

1166
01:05:34.079 --> 01:05:36.559
Say something now, Yeah, you know what see see that's

1167
01:05:36.559 --> 01:05:43.400
the reason why I like, you know, like sometimes you

1168
01:05:43.440 --> 01:05:46.559
know like yo, like like she said, you know what

1169
01:05:46.559 --> 01:05:48.280
I mean, Like lady said, like you know, like it

1170
01:05:48.400 --> 01:05:50.800
has to be that person. But the only thing, the

1171
01:05:50.880 --> 01:05:54.000
only thing that you can actually do is verbally, you

1172
01:05:54.039 --> 01:05:56.920
know what I'm saying verbally like you know what I'm saying,

1173
01:05:56.960 --> 01:06:00.639
Like feed their brain good thoughts. You know what I'm saying,

1174
01:06:00.760 --> 01:06:03.440
like verbally, you know what I'm saying, like like verbally

1175
01:06:03.559 --> 01:06:04.920
like pick them up. You know what I'm saying, like

1176
01:06:05.559 --> 01:06:07.360
like you know what, Like let's just say, you know,

1177
01:06:08.480 --> 01:06:09.599
my lady's having a bad day.

1178
01:06:09.679 --> 01:06:10.239
You know what I'm saying.

1179
01:06:10.360 --> 01:06:12.679
She comes home crying and shit. You know what I'm saying.

1180
01:06:13.119 --> 01:06:14.280
I'll be like, yo, let you know what I'm saying.

1181
01:06:14.280 --> 01:06:15.559
I'll be telling her, Yo, let it out.

1182
01:06:15.719 --> 01:06:18.000
I'll be yo. But Tomorrow's another day. You know what

1183
01:06:18.000 --> 01:06:19.519
I'm saying, Tomorrow's another day.

1184
01:06:19.880 --> 01:06:22.440
Okay, I'm not I'm not your girl, But as a woman,

1185
01:06:23.400 --> 01:06:27.440
if if I hear you say that, it's kind of

1186
01:06:27.519 --> 01:06:31.119
like what what Corleone was saying, and you tell me

1187
01:06:31.519 --> 01:06:34.400
tomorrow's another day, then I feel like you're discounting.

1188
01:06:35.239 --> 01:06:38.159
No no, no, no, no, no no no no. What

1189
01:06:38.199 --> 01:06:40.239
I'm saying is let it out. Let it out.

1190
01:06:40.559 --> 01:06:42.880
You know what I'm saying. But y'all just remember Tomorrow's

1191
01:06:42.880 --> 01:06:44.480
another day. You know what I'm saying, Tomorrow's another day

1192
01:06:44.519 --> 01:06:46.480
for you to be better than what you're feeling today.

1193
01:06:46.679 --> 01:06:48.519
You know what I'm saying. You got this. You know

1194
01:06:48.519 --> 01:06:51.760
what I'm saying, you got this. You know, yeah, maybe hard,

1195
01:06:52.199 --> 01:06:52.599
ye what?

1196
01:06:53.039 --> 01:06:54.599
And yo, you know what, it may be hard, it

1197
01:06:54.639 --> 01:06:57.199
may be tough, but yo, you know what, slowly but

1198
01:06:57.320 --> 01:06:58.880
surely you got to take your time.

1199
01:06:59.239 --> 01:07:00.639
You know what I'm saying that. You know what I'm saying,

1200
01:07:00.679 --> 01:07:02.440
Like like like what I tell my lady to do

1201
01:07:02.639 --> 01:07:04.960
instead of like holding her emotions, then I'll tell her, yo,

1202
01:07:05.119 --> 01:07:06.760
let it out, because you.

1203
01:07:06.800 --> 01:07:09.519
Know what, if you you know one thing I learned

1204
01:07:09.519 --> 01:07:11.679
about my emotions. If I don't let my emotions out

1205
01:07:12.119 --> 01:07:13.639
and I let it just sit you know what I'm saying,

1206
01:07:13.800 --> 01:07:15.320
especially if it's a negative emotions, I.

1207
01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:21.119
Let to sit within within me. Pause. Right, I started

1208
01:07:21.119 --> 01:07:22.280
becoming a rotten person.

1209
01:07:22.880 --> 01:07:24.719
You know what I'm saying, Like I started, you know

1210
01:07:24.719 --> 01:07:26.360
what I'm saying, looking at the world different, and I

1211
01:07:26.400 --> 01:07:28.159
don't want to look at the world different or more,

1212
01:07:29.800 --> 01:07:30.000
you know.

1213
01:07:30.159 --> 01:07:32.280
Like, Okay, so I'm going to stop you there, Dub.

1214
01:07:32.760 --> 01:07:38.400
You said the magic words. I don't want to look

1215
01:07:38.400 --> 01:07:39.440
at life that way anymore.

1216
01:07:40.119 --> 01:07:40.559
Exactly.

1217
01:07:41.239 --> 01:07:45.840
You had to own that for things. So that's what

1218
01:07:45.960 --> 01:07:50.320
I'm saying. We have to own our stuff in order

1219
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:52.760
for it to change. We're the ones that have to

1220
01:07:52.880 --> 01:07:55.320
want it we're the ones that have to believe it.

1221
01:07:55.880 --> 01:07:59.079
We're the ones that have to change it. There is

1222
01:07:59.199 --> 01:08:03.159
nothing that anybody else could say or do that would

1223
01:08:03.280 --> 01:08:10.639
change the way my brain sees things. It's cognitive thought, automatic.

1224
01:08:10.239 --> 01:08:13.719
Thoughts, but true indeed. See that's the reason why. Like

1225
01:08:13.840 --> 01:08:16.399
you know, like I said, right, like if you know

1226
01:08:16.439 --> 01:08:18.159
what I'm saying, If my girl comes home crying from

1227
01:08:18.199 --> 01:08:19.359
work and this, that and the third.

1228
01:08:19.239 --> 01:08:21.800
Like I try to like, you know, like you know what,

1229
01:08:21.880 --> 01:08:24.319
she's already thinking negative, So I try to like, you know,

1230
01:08:24.479 --> 01:08:28.039
like like you know what I'm saying, like like you know,

1231
01:08:28.359 --> 01:08:31.399
like if you will, like sometimes sometimes it's called force reading.

1232
01:08:31.479 --> 01:08:35.199
Sometimes like force rereading is necessary, force freading positive thoughts

1233
01:08:35.239 --> 01:08:39.600
and energies to it, you know, try to like, yo,

1234
01:08:39.640 --> 01:08:42.239
you know what, regardless of what she's doing good. Yeah

1235
01:08:42.279 --> 01:08:44.279
you have a bad day, but yo, you're still doing good.

1236
01:08:44.479 --> 01:08:45.079
You know what I'm saying.

1237
01:08:45.960 --> 01:08:48.960
And she's not gonna believe it if she doesn't believe.

1238
01:08:50.079 --> 01:08:51.840
You know what, you're right.

1239
01:08:52.039 --> 01:08:54.680
And then then I tell her, I'm like, yo, look

1240
01:08:54.720 --> 01:08:56.359
what you know what I'm saying. I'm like, look at

1241
01:08:56.399 --> 01:08:58.359
you know what I'm saying. Look what you have accomplished.

1242
01:08:58.399 --> 01:08:58.960
So far.

1243
01:09:00.399 --> 01:09:02.199
Even if you don't believe it, you know, Like I'm like,

1244
01:09:02.640 --> 01:09:03.760
you know, I gotta tell her. I was like, yeah,

1245
01:09:03.760 --> 01:09:05.880
you're not gonna believe it right now, but when you

1246
01:09:06.000 --> 01:09:08.039
calm down and you look at it, you're gonna be like, hmm,

1247
01:09:09.359 --> 01:09:11.239
it's gonna hit you know what I'm saying. I'm like,

1248
01:09:11.279 --> 01:09:13.840
you know what, right like right now, what I'm telling you,

1249
01:09:14.640 --> 01:09:16.319
you know you don't want to believe it, you don't

1250
01:09:16.359 --> 01:09:17.640
want to hear it, fine, but like you know what,

1251
01:09:17.760 --> 01:09:19.239
it's gonna replay in your head when you're in a

1252
01:09:19.319 --> 01:09:21.640
shower or like you know, when you're taking a ship

1253
01:09:21.800 --> 01:09:24.119
or something, then it's gonna be like you know what,

1254
01:09:25.800 --> 01:09:27.479
you know what? You know what I'm saying, Like like yo,

1255
01:09:27.880 --> 01:09:30.479
like that's why, like you know, like I personally believe

1256
01:09:30.520 --> 01:09:32.520
that sometimes you got to verbally feed somebody, you know

1257
01:09:32.520 --> 01:09:35.359
what I'm saying, your positive thoughts and your positive energy

1258
01:09:36.159 --> 01:09:37.960
because like even though you know, like they don't they're

1259
01:09:37.960 --> 01:09:40.079
not trying to hear it right then and there, you

1260
01:09:40.079 --> 01:09:42.359
know what I'm saying. Somehow it's gonna like, you know,

1261
01:09:43.279 --> 01:09:45.479
past that you know what I'm saying, past that wall

1262
01:09:45.600 --> 01:09:47.159
or whatever that they have, and you know what I'm

1263
01:09:47.159 --> 01:09:49.279
saying between the ears and their subconscious and hit the

1264
01:09:49.359 --> 01:09:53.359
subconscious somehow, some way, where's the powerful?

1265
01:09:54.399 --> 01:09:54.520
Right?

1266
01:09:54.640 --> 01:09:58.199
Absolutely, words are powerful. That's the goddamn truth. So his

1267
01:09:58.479 --> 01:10:02.840
his part two to that to this email, Lady G

1268
01:10:03.520 --> 01:10:06.800
this is for you. When you're going through a very

1269
01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:12.000
difficult time, like really hard time, and your partner doesn't

1270
01:10:12.079 --> 01:10:17.319
reach out to show their concern or to check on you,

1271
01:10:17.560 --> 01:10:18.199
what would you do?

1272
01:10:20.039 --> 01:10:24.680
Put myself in patients?

1273
01:10:24.760 --> 01:10:29.239
Just stop, yo, stop yo, stop.

1274
01:10:29.600 --> 01:10:32.239
So I'm going to share. I'm going to share something

1275
01:10:32.279 --> 01:10:38.600
about me. When I had my my youngest daughter, Espetans,

1276
01:10:41.199 --> 01:10:47.680
I was struggling with postpartum, severe postpartum depression. So I

1277
01:10:47.840 --> 01:10:52.640
was struggling. I was going through My ex husband every

1278
01:10:52.720 --> 01:10:54.800
day would look at me and the look on his

1279
01:10:55.039 --> 01:10:58.279
excuse me, The look on his face was like, what

1280
01:10:59.079 --> 01:11:02.399
what the hell you want me to do? Why? Why

1281
01:11:02.439 --> 01:11:05.359
are you crying? Why are you sad? Why are you this?

1282
01:11:05.640 --> 01:11:09.600
Why are you that? And like I said, the look

1283
01:11:09.680 --> 01:11:13.439
on his face said it all like what is wrong

1284
01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:23.520
with you? Get yourself together? No support, no nothing. And

1285
01:11:23.680 --> 01:11:31.640
because of that, I I felt alone with a brand

1286
01:11:31.680 --> 01:11:38.800
new baby to the point where it got suicidal. And

1287
01:11:40.199 --> 01:11:43.720
without that support. I mean, I thank God that I

1288
01:11:43.880 --> 01:11:45.920
am the person I am, and I know what I know,

1289
01:11:46.199 --> 01:11:50.479
and I am a strong woman. And I picked myself

1290
01:11:50.600 --> 01:11:55.479
up and I took myself to a hospital, and even

1291
01:11:55.560 --> 01:11:59.439
then he felt as though I had done that on purpose,

1292
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:04.760
and being in the hospital was on purpose. So I

1293
01:12:04.880 --> 01:12:07.840
basically was like, oh, so you think I went through

1294
01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:15.359
nine months of struggle, high high risk pregnancy, almost losing

1295
01:12:15.439 --> 01:12:19.239
our baby, you know all of that. You think I

1296
01:12:19.319 --> 01:12:25.119
did all of that to have a baby and leave

1297
01:12:25.239 --> 01:12:31.680
her with you as her father on purpose? Like, are

1298
01:12:31.760 --> 01:12:36.319
you so selfish that that's that's really what you think

1299
01:12:37.760 --> 01:12:39.920
that I would go through all of that just to

1300
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:44.560
just to make you suffer? Do you think I?

1301
01:12:44.840 --> 01:12:45.000
You know?

1302
01:12:45.119 --> 01:12:49.560
Like, so, so that's pretty much what happens when you're

1303
01:12:49.640 --> 01:12:51.960
going through and you and your partner is not there

1304
01:12:52.079 --> 01:12:57.439
for you even a little bit, not even a little bit,

1305
01:13:01.439 --> 01:13:06.680
Then that's not really a partner. Then you got to

1306
01:13:06.720 --> 01:13:07.720
make some hard decisions.

1307
01:13:08.319 --> 01:13:20.239
Yeah, absolutely, And here is all right, that's what she said.

1308
01:13:23.239 --> 01:13:26.720
Hey, my bad, Dagel's crying. But I heard everything you

1309
01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:31.760
said speaking of postpartum. My girl went through postpartum last.

1310
01:13:31.680 --> 01:13:33.640
Year, right, And.

1311
01:13:35.119 --> 01:13:35.880
And how did you have.

1312
01:13:39.319 --> 01:13:40.199
How did I handle it?

1313
01:13:40.600 --> 01:13:43.520
At first, I got mad because like you know what,

1314
01:13:43.720 --> 01:13:45.399
like I was because I was on the lot of

1315
01:13:45.439 --> 01:13:48.079
stress too, but I was being selfish.

1316
01:13:49.199 --> 01:13:51.640
I'm not gonna lie. I was thinking about me, me, me,

1317
01:13:51.800 --> 01:13:54.399
me at first, you know what I'm saying, because like

1318
01:13:55.199 --> 01:13:58.439
because like you know, truth is that she has five broids, right,

1319
01:13:59.000 --> 01:14:01.119
so when I have five boys. When she was giving birth,

1320
01:14:01.920 --> 01:14:04.640
and like she was leading out, so I almost lost

1321
01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:08.399
on the table. It was for the doctors she was emerging.

1322
01:14:09.760 --> 01:14:12.439
So I'm here thinking that, you know what, the coast

1323
01:14:12.520 --> 01:14:15.159
is clear, and I told, you know, like totally.

1324
01:14:14.920 --> 01:14:17.359
Forgot about what do you mean the coast is clear?

1325
01:14:18.439 --> 01:14:20.359
You mean the coast was clear.

1326
01:14:20.600 --> 01:14:23.920
I was like, you know what I'm saying, likewise, right,

1327
01:14:24.680 --> 01:14:28.119
and then postpartum settled and you know what I'm saying, And.

1328
01:14:28.199 --> 01:14:30.279
I completely went in the wrong direction on what you

1329
01:14:30.439 --> 01:14:30.800
just said.

1330
01:14:30.920 --> 01:14:35.439
Bro yo, like you know what I'm saying, like like

1331
01:14:36.239 --> 01:14:38.000
like yo, you know what when the doctors like fixed

1332
01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:39.520
her up because I told, you know what I'm saying,

1333
01:14:39.560 --> 01:14:41.840
like like you know, like when she gave birth, right,

1334
01:14:42.199 --> 01:14:44.800
one of her fireboards popped and she started Hamilton, and

1335
01:14:44.920 --> 01:14:47.359
I remember like hearing the splash of blood hit hit

1336
01:14:47.439 --> 01:14:50.359
the floor on whatever, right, and like I'm here looking

1337
01:14:50.399 --> 01:14:51.920
at the baby. I'm here looking at her, and I'm

1338
01:14:52.119 --> 01:14:54.359
I'm here looking at her like like loose colors. So

1339
01:14:54.439 --> 01:14:56.239
I walked over to him, like the doctor was like,

1340
01:14:56.239 --> 01:14:57.039
sh like what's going on.

1341
01:14:57.119 --> 01:14:59.880
I'm like, yo, you're doing good. She's like I feel

1342
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.000
I'm like, don't worry about that. I'm like, I'm like,

1343
01:15:02.079 --> 01:15:04.119
you just pushed out a ten pound baby. I'm here

1344
01:15:04.119 --> 01:15:06.560
a joke and knowing damn well that she's hemorrhaging, she's

1345
01:15:06.640 --> 01:15:11.000
losing blood, but they clipped it real quick, you know.

1346
01:15:11.600 --> 01:15:14.319
And I was thankful for that. And then like months later,

1347
01:15:14.439 --> 01:15:16.800
like she was just like going through postpartum depression and stuff,

1348
01:15:16.800 --> 01:15:18.880
and I'm like, at first I was selfish. I'm like, yo,

1349
01:15:18.920 --> 01:15:21.039
you need to get your ship together, you know what

1350
01:15:21.079 --> 01:15:21.479
I'm saying.

1351
01:15:22.199 --> 01:15:23.600
And then like you know, she would start crying and

1352
01:15:23.640 --> 01:15:25.439
all this that and the third and then like I

1353
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:27.800
woke up the one morning because you know what, like

1354
01:15:28.239 --> 01:15:29.920
like you knew I got to argument the night before

1355
01:15:29.960 --> 01:15:31.439
and and like you know what, I stood up like

1356
01:15:32.159 --> 01:15:35.640
for the most part, because the fucking cat wanted to

1357
01:15:35.760 --> 01:15:38.439
be part of the fucking summer Olympics of doing no

1358
01:15:39.119 --> 01:15:40.680
cat shit right.

1359
01:15:42.720 --> 01:15:44.439
Kept me up all night, but like it was.

1360
01:15:44.439 --> 01:15:45.800
A good thing that the cat kept me up all

1361
01:15:45.880 --> 01:15:48.960
night because I started like really like digging into my brain,

1362
01:15:50.119 --> 01:15:51.600
like you know what, what what can.

1363
01:15:51.560 --> 01:15:54.119
I do to like ease this ship?

1364
01:15:56.359 --> 01:15:57.920
So I was like, you know what I'm you know

1365
01:15:58.000 --> 01:16:00.600
what I'm I'm I'm gonna readling, which you know what

1366
01:16:00.640 --> 01:16:03.960
I'm saying, my full authority for the moment in time,

1367
01:16:05.279 --> 01:16:08.159
right and not you know what I'm saying because I

1368
01:16:08.159 --> 01:16:11.600
always had a problem like you know, like like you know,

1369
01:16:11.760 --> 01:16:15.840
like relinquishing authority because I felt like a bitch. But

1370
01:16:15.920 --> 01:16:18.520
I was like, yo, I'm gonna swallow my pride and

1371
01:16:18.640 --> 01:16:23.279
I'm gonna check my ego at the door. And you know,

1372
01:16:23.840 --> 01:16:25.640
because this is her first child, I'm say I'm gonna

1373
01:16:25.680 --> 01:16:29.720
check my ego out the door, and you know, listen,

1374
01:16:30.199 --> 01:16:32.439
actually listen to what she has to say.

1375
01:16:33.479 --> 01:16:34.640
Listen how she feels.

1376
01:16:35.640 --> 01:16:37.720
So now ten times when I out there, I listened,

1377
01:16:37.720 --> 01:16:40.840
I had a better understanding, and I'm like, yo, listen,

1378
01:16:41.439 --> 01:16:42.960
I'm gonna take the baby for a ride.

1379
01:16:43.680 --> 01:16:45.359
You know what I'm saying, you know, like like even

1380
01:16:45.399 --> 01:16:47.159
the baby was small or whatever, like I would take

1381
01:16:47.159 --> 01:16:49.960
the baby for like you know, little rides here and there,

1382
01:16:50.760 --> 01:16:53.199
give her times, you know what I'm saying, to have

1383
01:16:53.319 --> 01:16:55.079
her something. What I'm saying, have her alone time, because

1384
01:16:55.119 --> 01:16:57.239
you know what, it was her you know what I'm saying.

1385
01:16:57.239 --> 01:17:00.239
It's her first child, you know, and it could be

1386
01:17:00.319 --> 01:17:03.840
you know what I'm saying, it's overwhelming. So like you

1387
01:17:03.920 --> 01:17:06.119
know what, like I would like, you know, take her

1388
01:17:06.159 --> 01:17:09.239
for walks around the corner summertime, of course, you know

1389
01:17:09.279 --> 01:17:09.680
what I'm saying.

1390
01:17:11.520 --> 01:17:13.159
But like you know, like I would take her and whatever.

1391
01:17:13.680 --> 01:17:15.800
And then like you know, when she went back to work,

1392
01:17:17.439 --> 01:17:19.760
you know, seeing my injury, I became the full time dad.

1393
01:17:20.880 --> 01:17:25.279
So like you know, like she was like, you know what,

1394
01:17:25.399 --> 01:17:28.159
she was doing something keeping her busy, keeping herself busy.

1395
01:17:29.279 --> 01:17:33.560
And that's what you know, we got her over that hump,

1396
01:17:34.000 --> 01:17:36.000
Like she was keeping herself busy and all that stuff.

1397
01:17:36.520 --> 01:17:40.079
But also I became more receptive to what she was saying,

1398
01:17:40.359 --> 01:17:42.319
you know, whatever she wanted to do at the moment,

1399
01:17:42.359 --> 01:17:43.840
you know what I mean, Like I'm like, yo, you

1400
01:17:43.880 --> 01:17:47.359
know what what do you want to do? Oh you

1401
01:17:47.439 --> 01:17:50.000
want to go get your nails done? Here, go get

1402
01:17:50.039 --> 01:17:52.960
your nails done, you know, like I want to get

1403
01:17:53.000 --> 01:17:55.840
your eyebrows done. Here, go get your eyebrows done. Oh

1404
01:17:55.920 --> 01:17:58.000
you want to go over here, Let's go over here.

1405
01:17:59.039 --> 01:18:01.760
You know like that, you know what I'm saying, Like

1406
01:18:01.880 --> 01:18:04.319
I really was, like like I had to. I had

1407
01:18:04.399 --> 01:18:08.000
to because you know what, I learned my lesson with

1408
01:18:08.760 --> 01:18:10.680
both my kids' mothers, because you know what, back when

1409
01:18:10.720 --> 01:18:13.159
I was younger and like like my brain ain't fully

1410
01:18:13.199 --> 01:18:16.199
developed to what it is right now. Like you know

1411
01:18:16.199 --> 01:18:19.000
what I'm saying, the understanding part, you know, like the

1412
01:18:19.119 --> 01:18:24.640
understanding part wasn't alien to me no more so, so

1413
01:18:24.800 --> 01:18:26.640
like you know, like I started doing that, you know,

1414
01:18:26.760 --> 01:18:30.039
like I started like you know, like praying with her,

1415
01:18:31.239 --> 01:18:32.960
believe it or not. You know, like I know we

1416
01:18:33.039 --> 01:18:35.640
don't talk about God religion here, but like I started

1417
01:18:35.680 --> 01:18:38.239
praying to God a lot, you know, to lead us

1418
01:18:38.319 --> 01:18:42.359
in the right way and so far as work. So

1419
01:18:44.359 --> 01:18:45.880
you know, like it's you know what I'm saying, like

1420
01:18:46.239 --> 01:18:50.239
like now like now you know what, this little girl

1421
01:18:50.319 --> 01:18:53.119
runs my life. But that's another story. But you know

1422
01:18:53.199 --> 01:18:54.880
what though, like that's how she got.

1423
01:18:54.760 --> 01:18:59.119
Over that postpartum depression stuff. Oh and lots of chop

1424
01:18:59.239 --> 01:19:06.680
cheese sandwiches, lots of yo yo, lots of chop cheese sandwiches, man,

1425
01:19:06.800 --> 01:19:11.359
and and what you call yeah, and that's it man

1426
01:19:11.479 --> 01:19:14.640
like like you know, like lots of chop cheese, lots

1427
01:19:14.640 --> 01:19:15.079
of anime.

1428
01:19:16.600 --> 01:19:20.680
You know so but but but but but always type

1429
01:19:20.680 --> 01:19:22.159
of situation true.

1430
01:19:22.239 --> 01:19:24.680
But you know what though, like like the fact that

1431
01:19:24.720 --> 01:19:26.439
you know what I'm saying, Like the fact that I

1432
01:19:26.560 --> 01:19:28.600
was forced to watch one piece. I hate that freaking

1433
01:19:28.800 --> 01:19:30.359
I hate that like I.

1434
01:19:30.439 --> 01:19:33.680
Hate So there's one more, there's one more part to this,

1435
01:19:34.079 --> 01:19:37.359
to this email. So we got to the to the

1436
01:19:37.560 --> 01:19:40.960
first too, or the last one. I really want to

1437
01:19:41.000 --> 01:19:45.479
hear about this one. When you're in a relationship and

1438
01:19:45.640 --> 01:19:50.279
you give your all, your everything, you put them before

1439
01:19:50.439 --> 01:19:54.439
everything and everyone you messed up. Waitnute, wait a minute,

1440
01:19:54.560 --> 01:19:58.880
let me finish, and your partner doesn't do the same.

1441
01:19:58.960 --> 01:19:59.479
What do you do?

1442
01:20:00.680 --> 01:20:04.159
First off, you know what, I gotta answer this one first.

1443
01:20:04.239 --> 01:20:06.159
You know what I'm saying, Just just the one part.

1444
01:20:07.079 --> 01:20:09.359
Why the fuck when you put someone else in front

1445
01:20:09.399 --> 01:20:16.279
of you? Like, why do you not love yourself? You

1446
01:20:16.319 --> 01:20:18.239
know what I'm saying. You always put you in front

1447
01:20:18.239 --> 01:20:20.960
of everything else because you know what, everything starts to

1448
01:20:21.199 --> 01:20:24.079
ends with you, You the person you look at in

1449
01:20:24.159 --> 01:20:26.119
the mirror. If you hate, just if you if you

1450
01:20:26.159 --> 01:20:29.199
hate what you're looking at and you remember, find something positive,

1451
01:20:29.600 --> 01:20:32.399
you know what I'm saying about yourself, and then start

1452
01:20:32.479 --> 01:20:33.600
talking to yourself in the mirror.

1453
01:20:33.840 --> 01:20:35.920
It may sound crazy, but yo, you know what. You

1454
01:20:35.960 --> 01:20:37.920
know what I'm saying. Like sometimes you know what I'm saying.

1455
01:20:38.159 --> 01:20:40.239
The person you know what? First off, the person in

1456
01:20:40.279 --> 01:20:42.239
the mirror that you're looking at every day is your

1457
01:20:42.319 --> 01:20:44.960
biggest competition, you know what I'm saying.

1458
01:20:45.000 --> 01:20:48.840
Other than that, there should be none, you know what

1459
01:20:48.840 --> 01:20:51.159
I'm saying. So that person that you that you competed

1460
01:20:51.199 --> 01:20:54.920
against in the mirror, learned to love that person, and

1461
01:20:55.079 --> 01:20:57.399
then it'll be you know what I'm saying, and then

1462
01:20:57.439 --> 01:20:59.560
you have a better understanding as to why you should.

1463
01:20:59.279 --> 01:21:02.800
Put yourself first if we put someone else first. I'm

1464
01:21:02.840 --> 01:21:05.479
done of that part. Yeah, I'm done on that part,

1465
01:21:08.600 --> 01:21:08.880
Lady G.

1466
01:21:11.199 --> 01:21:16.720
I don't know what to say after that. So the

1467
01:21:16.840 --> 01:21:21.279
one thing I do agree with with Dubbs is not

1468
01:21:21.600 --> 01:21:27.239
quite the way he said it. But people who put

1469
01:21:27.359 --> 01:21:36.960
others before themselves are one of two things traumatized or

1470
01:21:39.880 --> 01:21:47.920
I guess so in tune with God that they're being selfless,

1471
01:21:48.279 --> 01:21:55.600
which can can lead to issues. And I see Amy

1472
01:21:55.680 --> 01:21:58.119
Lynn saying that she puts her children in front of herself.

1473
01:21:59.279 --> 01:22:03.720
That also is not very healthy. Because the thing is,

1474
01:22:04.239 --> 01:22:06.800
if we don't take care of us, if we don't

1475
01:22:06.880 --> 01:22:12.199
do for ourselves first, right, then how are we going

1476
01:22:12.279 --> 01:22:18.560
to be able to do for the people that depend

1477
01:22:18.680 --> 01:22:21.840
on us the most, the people that we love the most.

1478
01:22:22.520 --> 01:22:26.920
Because if I continue to empty myself for everyone else first,

1479
01:22:28.359 --> 01:22:32.520
I'll be pouring from an empty vessel. So if I

1480
01:22:32.600 --> 01:22:38.159
don't fill myself first to give myself something to pour

1481
01:22:38.279 --> 01:22:44.000
into others, you know, we're going to run ourselves down

1482
01:22:45.920 --> 01:22:49.239
caring about everybody else and not taking care of ourselves.

1483
01:22:50.760 --> 01:22:53.159
And then again those people that we care for, the

1484
01:22:53.239 --> 01:22:55.239
people that we love, the people who depend on us,

1485
01:22:55.840 --> 01:22:58.560
we're not going to be able to be there for them.

1486
01:23:00.159 --> 01:23:02.079
The old adage like when you get on the airplane

1487
01:23:02.479 --> 01:23:06.039
and they tell you about your face mask. You know,

1488
01:23:06.399 --> 01:23:10.039
as a mother, because I'm a mom, our first thought

1489
01:23:10.199 --> 01:23:13.520
is let's put it on our children, make sure that

1490
01:23:13.600 --> 01:23:16.000
they're breathing, and then we'll take care of us last.

1491
01:23:16.079 --> 01:23:21.760
So Amylen, I definitely understand that sentiment. But the thing is,

1492
01:23:22.680 --> 01:23:26.079
in the meantime, you're losing air trying to put the

1493
01:23:26.199 --> 01:23:30.600
mask on them, but then you lose consciousness and you

1494
01:23:30.680 --> 01:23:34.640
don't finish putting their mask on. Now they're left helpless

1495
01:23:35.720 --> 01:23:41.199
with no one to help them. Now, as a parent,

1496
01:23:41.399 --> 01:23:44.520
you're gonna do everything in your power if something happens

1497
01:23:44.560 --> 01:23:50.279
to them. You know, if something happens to them, you

1498
01:23:50.560 --> 01:23:56.960
can help them because you're well you're breathing, yeah, bris,

1499
01:23:57.159 --> 01:23:58.560
you do have to love yourself.

1500
01:23:59.720 --> 01:24:03.239
Oh and you know what, And that's the reason why,

1501
01:24:03.479 --> 01:24:06.239
like like you know when I heard like the whole

1502
01:24:07.039 --> 01:24:08.920
oh yeah, you know, I put him before. You know,

1503
01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:12.319
I put this person before. Why like you know what,

1504
01:24:12.520 --> 01:24:14.439
like like you know what, like that kind of like

1505
01:24:14.479 --> 01:24:16.279
you know what I'm saying. It pissed me off because

1506
01:24:16.319 --> 01:24:17.840
I used to do that ship you know what I'm saying.

1507
01:24:18.840 --> 01:24:23.560
And that's why here's the reason why there are damaged women, like.

1508
01:24:24.000 --> 01:24:26.760
You know, some many us there and you know what,

1509
01:24:27.199 --> 01:24:29.399
and some of these women are the reason why there's

1510
01:24:29.439 --> 01:24:33.439
damage meant out here, like someone like me what I'm saying,

1511
01:24:33.560 --> 01:24:35.399
like like yo, you know what, yes, you know what.

1512
01:24:35.760 --> 01:24:38.039
I was the starting point to some damaged women. But

1513
01:24:38.439 --> 01:24:40.560
there was also damaged women that's started point to who

1514
01:24:40.720 --> 01:24:43.600
I was. You know what I'm saying, like, Yo, you

1515
01:24:43.640 --> 01:24:46.960
know what some You know what I'm saying. Yes, I

1516
01:24:47.039 --> 01:24:49.560
may create the monsters, but I needed the monster create

1517
01:24:49.680 --> 01:24:50.359
to create me.

1518
01:24:53.880 --> 01:24:54.039
You know.

1519
01:24:54.239 --> 01:24:58.239
So like if I'm doctor Frankenstan to some and then

1520
01:24:59.760 --> 01:25:02.359
some was doctor Frankenstan to me. You know what I'm saying.

1521
01:25:03.119 --> 01:25:06.119
But and eye for an eye makes two people blind.

1522
01:25:06.319 --> 01:25:08.119
Yeah, but you know what, You're right, you know what

1523
01:25:08.159 --> 01:25:10.039
I'm saying. But then again, you know what, I was

1524
01:25:10.119 --> 01:25:12.600
young and ignorant. You know what I'm saying, Like, you

1525
01:25:12.680 --> 01:25:15.159
know what I didn't. You know what I'm saying, Like

1526
01:25:16.680 --> 01:25:19.600
like you know, like I used to let my you

1527
01:25:19.640 --> 01:25:21.960
know what I'm saying, like, ah, you know what, all right,

1528
01:25:22.199 --> 01:25:25.560
let me put it this way. I didn't let my

1529
01:25:25.800 --> 01:25:27.439
dick dictate my heart.

1530
01:25:29.039 --> 01:25:31.920
Because when I did, you know what I'm saying, Like,

1531
01:25:32.039 --> 01:25:34.560
looking back at it, I didn't love the girl. I

1532
01:25:34.720 --> 01:25:38.640
just loved being in her. You know what I'm saying.

1533
01:25:38.680 --> 01:25:39.159
It was lust.

1534
01:25:39.840 --> 01:25:43.399
What I'm saying, I confused love for lust, you know.

1535
01:25:43.680 --> 01:25:47.640
And that's what most dudes still doing to this day.

1536
01:25:47.880 --> 01:25:48.359
You know what I'm saying.

1537
01:25:48.399 --> 01:25:51.600
They're letting their dick dictate their heart. What I'm saying

1538
01:25:51.680 --> 01:25:55.520
confused love for lust because we're making.

1539
01:25:55.319 --> 01:25:59.439
That Okay, we're making that commonplace exactly.

1540
01:25:59.560 --> 01:26:02.680
And you know what, and I don't do that, you

1541
01:26:02.680 --> 01:26:06.239
know what I'm saying no longer because I know, you know,

1542
01:26:06.359 --> 01:26:09.199
like like what I'm experiencing right now is love that

1543
01:26:09.359 --> 01:26:10.159
I it's love that.

1544
01:26:10.279 --> 01:26:12.359
You know what I'm saying. I should have been.

1545
01:26:12.359 --> 01:26:18.079
Open to experience, you know, like you know what I'm saying,

1546
01:26:18.119 --> 01:26:21.920
like and what I'm giving back is the same amount

1547
01:26:21.920 --> 01:26:22.840
of energy I'm receiving.

1548
01:26:23.800 --> 01:26:27.079
So it's you know what I'm saying, it's what it

1549
01:26:27.239 --> 01:26:30.119
is now. You know what I do. You know what

1550
01:26:30.159 --> 01:26:32.319
I'm saying, I do. And I don't regret who I

1551
01:26:32.439 --> 01:26:35.079
was back then. You know what I'm saying.

1552
01:26:35.840 --> 01:26:37.600
I do regret it because I heard a lot of

1553
01:26:37.640 --> 01:26:40.479
people and I have daughters. I don't regret it because

1554
01:26:41.560 --> 01:26:44.279
I learned from me. I can honestly say that I

1555
01:26:44.520 --> 01:26:49.720
learned from being the toxic Avenger. And I say toxic

1556
01:26:49.840 --> 01:26:54.000
because you know what I was toxic as shit. You

1557
01:26:54.079 --> 01:26:57.560
know I didn't gas light. I green lighted. You know

1558
01:26:57.600 --> 01:26:59.680
what I'm saying, Like, you know what, like it was

1559
01:27:00.079 --> 01:27:03.760
bad man, you know, like like you know I'm here laughing,

1560
01:27:03.800 --> 01:27:06.520
But it's not funny, you know what I'm saying. It's sad,

1561
01:27:06.720 --> 01:27:08.399
you know what I'm saying, like like like you know what,

1562
01:27:08.640 --> 01:27:12.319
how like one how like one heartbreak turned me into

1563
01:27:12.399 --> 01:27:15.359
an animal all because you know what I'm saying, all

1564
01:27:15.399 --> 01:27:16.720
because of my pride and my ego.

1565
01:27:16.760 --> 01:27:18.000
And that's what I'm telling my son.

1566
01:27:18.119 --> 01:27:20.960
Now, I'm like, bro, put you you know what I'm saying,

1567
01:27:21.039 --> 01:27:23.840
took your prodent ego away a little bit, you know.

1568
01:27:24.319 --> 01:27:27.760
But at the same time, don't let no woman, you

1569
01:27:27.800 --> 01:27:29.880
know what I'm saying, Don't let a woman walk over

1570
01:27:29.960 --> 01:27:34.920
your feelings as if it don't exist, you know.

1571
01:27:35.079 --> 01:27:36.479
Like that's that's.

1572
01:27:37.800 --> 01:27:39.600
It's it's it's you know what I'm saying. Like it

1573
01:27:40.119 --> 01:27:41.600
it's like yo, you know what It's like you have

1574
01:27:41.720 --> 01:27:42.880
to you know what I'm saying, Like I didn't know

1575
01:27:42.960 --> 01:27:45.199
how to balance, you know what I'm saying, balance and

1576
01:27:45.239 --> 01:27:48.800
differentiate anything. You know what I'm saying, because like I.

1577
01:27:48.920 --> 01:27:51.840
Was so like hell bent on like not getting hurt

1578
01:27:51.880 --> 01:27:55.399
again that you know, like I went from victim to

1579
01:27:55.479 --> 01:28:00.439
the victory to the victor in the wrong reasons. You

1580
01:28:00.439 --> 01:28:02.720
know what I'm saying. Everything was done for the wrong reasons.

1581
01:28:02.760 --> 01:28:04.800
There was no right reasons, you know what I'm saying,

1582
01:28:05.520 --> 01:28:09.239
And like like you know what, like, yeah, you know what,

1583
01:28:10.079 --> 01:28:11.439
I heard a lot of people. But you know what

1584
01:28:11.720 --> 01:28:13.760
the funny thing about is that half the people I

1585
01:28:13.880 --> 01:28:16.000
heard they're married and happy. You know what I'm saying,

1586
01:28:16.000 --> 01:28:18.840
I'm just finding my happiness now, just.

1587
01:28:19.159 --> 01:28:20.119
Finding it now.

1588
01:28:21.039 --> 01:28:24.279
Wow, it's a big one read that.

1589
01:28:28.199 --> 01:28:35.439
Yeah, I'm gonnat even my reading glasses, you know, and

1590
01:28:35.520 --> 01:28:37.960
another thing too. And I'm gonna be honest about I'll

1591
01:28:38.039 --> 01:28:40.720
be honest about this, y'all. You know what, I didn't

1592
01:28:40.760 --> 01:28:41.359
love myself.

1593
01:28:41.479 --> 01:28:44.439
I was. I love the thought of loving myself. But

1594
01:28:44.960 --> 01:28:46.720
I'm gonna keep it. I'm gonna keep it one hundred.

1595
01:28:46.760 --> 01:28:48.760
I did not love myself because if I did, you know,

1596
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:51.079
you know what, I want to be out three four

1597
01:28:51.119 --> 01:28:53.199
in the morning, you know, drinking one fifty one. You

1598
01:28:53.239 --> 01:28:57.840
know what I'm saying, you know, like, like, bro, how

1599
01:28:57.880 --> 01:29:00.199
many one nice stands and stuff that I that, You

1600
01:29:00.199 --> 01:29:02.560
know what I'm saying, I put myself through, you know,

1601
01:29:02.720 --> 01:29:06.319
like leaving a bar in Jersey, waking up along island

1602
01:29:06.520 --> 01:29:08.760
not knowing where the hell I was at, you know,

1603
01:29:08.960 --> 01:29:10.520
like at some girls house or whatever I could have

1604
01:29:10.600 --> 01:29:14.359
easily got killed, you know, but I did not care,

1605
01:29:14.520 --> 01:29:17.079
you know what I'm saying, because it was like it's like,

1606
01:29:17.119 --> 01:29:19.920
you know what, like people playing for tomorrow, but me,

1607
01:29:20.840 --> 01:29:22.680
as long as the night before was sweet, I just

1608
01:29:22.760 --> 01:29:26.319
didn't care about you know I'm saying, like you know

1609
01:29:26.319 --> 01:29:28.359
what I'm saying, Like none of my relationships is about anything.

1610
01:29:28.840 --> 01:29:31.960
And it's because you know what the trum you know

1611
01:29:31.960 --> 01:29:33.319
what I'm saying, it was, you know what I'm saying, Like,

1612
01:29:33.760 --> 01:29:36.039
I mean, we could talk about trauma whatever. I'm not

1613
01:29:36.079 --> 01:29:40.439
going to get too personal about my trauma, but there's

1614
01:29:40.479 --> 01:29:42.439
a lot of death, like you know, like I've witnessed

1615
01:29:42.439 --> 01:29:44.359
a lot of death of my trauma, you know what

1616
01:29:44.359 --> 01:29:48.039
I'm saying, especially down in Florida, you know, Like and

1617
01:29:49.279 --> 01:29:51.520
when it's in that you know, gave me like a

1618
01:29:51.600 --> 01:29:55.720
weird outlook on life, you know, or lack.

1619
01:29:55.600 --> 01:29:58.319
Thereof you know, like so.

1620
01:30:00.880 --> 01:30:05.800
So like I just didn't care, like you know, like

1621
01:30:06.159 --> 01:30:09.199
it was like a combination of a lot, you know,

1622
01:30:09.399 --> 01:30:13.840
like for someone to not care, right, you know, and

1623
01:30:16.319 --> 01:30:20.119
and you know what, like I said, and I mean

1624
01:30:20.159 --> 01:30:22.079
it's from the bottom of my heart, like I hate

1625
01:30:23.000 --> 01:30:24.760
like like like you know what I talk about it.

1626
01:30:24.800 --> 01:30:26.359
You know what I'm saying, Like I talk about you

1627
01:30:26.399 --> 01:30:29.880
know what I've done. I hate what I've done to

1628
01:30:31.439 --> 01:30:35.279
the people that didn't deserve it, you know which was

1629
01:30:35.359 --> 01:30:36.720
like you know what I'm saying, not at ten times

1630
01:30:36.800 --> 01:30:37.880
like the women that I've hurt.

1631
01:30:38.039 --> 01:30:41.279
I hate that I did it to him the ten time. Yeah,

1632
01:30:41.479 --> 01:30:43.720
you know what, that bits deserved everything, you know what,

1633
01:30:43.920 --> 01:30:45.640
And I'm glad I got with her family members.

1634
01:30:45.840 --> 01:30:49.039
You know what I'm saying, All right, check it, you

1635
01:30:49.119 --> 01:30:51.800
know what, that they deserve that, you know what. Whoever

1636
01:30:51.880 --> 01:30:53.840
I hurt that didn't deserve it, I feel bad for.

1637
01:30:54.000 --> 01:30:55.640
But whoever I hurt that did deserve it, I don't

1638
01:30:55.640 --> 01:30:56.119
feel bad for.

1639
01:30:57.039 --> 01:31:02.159
There's more to this comment. Actually it cuts off. It says,

1640
01:31:02.920 --> 01:31:06.359
it says, always love yourself, but first, and once you

1641
01:31:06.520 --> 01:31:11.159
do that, nothing else is there done there to hurt

1642
01:31:11.239 --> 01:31:15.640
you will hurt you, promise you. We all have to

1643
01:31:15.760 --> 01:31:20.680
go through challenges to learn. So now that you have learned,

1644
01:31:21.199 --> 01:31:24.640
be better for yourself and keep on pushing because.

1645
01:31:24.359 --> 01:31:28.239
You got this or we all do we all do?

1646
01:31:28.760 --> 01:31:31.279
You know you know what? You know? You know what?

1647
01:31:31.479 --> 01:31:34.119
Like like you know, like, well, you know what I'm saying.

1648
01:31:34.159 --> 01:31:38.279
It's not only like me or you know, lady Jill Collleone.

1649
01:31:38.359 --> 01:31:41.000
It's the people that you know that's chiming it right now.

1650
01:31:41.039 --> 01:31:43.800
We all got this, and you know what in some

1651
01:31:43.960 --> 01:31:47.479
type of way, you know, like like look, you know

1652
01:31:47.560 --> 01:31:51.239
what one thing one thing I did learn, you know,

1653
01:31:51.399 --> 01:31:53.920
like never mind relationships with like a life in general.

1654
01:31:54.960 --> 01:31:58.680
Only give a fuck what it's your turn. That right

1655
01:31:58.720 --> 01:32:01.600
there cuts cuts fifty percent of stress off in your back,

1656
01:32:02.159 --> 01:32:05.279
you know what I'm saying. Now, if it's an uncontrollable

1657
01:32:05.319 --> 01:32:09.720
situation leaving in God's hands, you know, because it'll eventually

1658
01:32:09.880 --> 01:32:11.760
play out in your favor. And if it doesn't play

1659
01:32:11.760 --> 01:32:14.840
out in your favorable what you think it's your favorite

1660
01:32:15.520 --> 01:32:17.760
and it doesn't end up that way, then guess what,

1661
01:32:18.159 --> 01:32:20.159
whatever that you were aiming for was not meant for

1662
01:32:20.239 --> 01:32:23.479
you at the moment. Learn to accept the loss, you know,

1663
01:32:23.760 --> 01:32:26.880
and like a lot of people don't like accepting losses.

1664
01:32:28.359 --> 01:32:30.319
You know what I'm saying. A lot of people, you

1665
01:32:30.359 --> 01:32:31.920
know what I'm saying, because a loss to them is like,

1666
01:32:32.239 --> 01:32:35.880
oh I lost out. No it wasn't your turn. You

1667
01:32:35.920 --> 01:32:38.359
know what I'm saying. There's something bigger for you, but

1668
01:32:38.560 --> 01:32:41.000
this is not it. You think this is it, but

1669
01:32:41.199 --> 01:32:46.560
it's something bigger for you out there, and this is

1670
01:32:46.600 --> 01:32:48.279
who and you know what and you know what and

1671
01:32:48.319 --> 01:32:50.560
all honestly, this is who I really am, like not

1672
01:32:50.680 --> 01:32:53.199
nin out of ten times nine at ten times, you.

1673
01:32:53.239 --> 01:32:57.119
Know, like off this here, this is who you're talking to.

1674
01:32:58.479 --> 01:32:59.840
It's just that when I get on here. You know what,

1675
01:33:00.039 --> 01:33:01.520
I like being the villain, because you know what, I

1676
01:33:01.640 --> 01:33:06.279
like saying ships just sensation. I like rustler feathers, you know, right,

1677
01:33:07.039 --> 01:33:12.359
But so yeah, all right, so you know what, lady,

1678
01:33:12.399 --> 01:33:13.199
do what do you think?

1679
01:33:13.479 --> 01:33:14.840
You know what I'm saying? Because you know what, like

1680
01:33:15.279 --> 01:33:16.920
like not a ton of times when you say something

1681
01:33:16.960 --> 01:33:18.600
and and I cut you off with and be by

1682
01:33:18.680 --> 01:33:20.840
accidents just because like you be saying ship that be

1683
01:33:20.960 --> 01:33:24.720
hitting my soul. You know what I'm saying that I

1684
01:33:24.800 --> 01:33:27.000
feel like saying, you know, hallelujah. Ain't men you know

1685
01:33:27.039 --> 01:33:30.119
what I'm saying. Get your soapbox girl, go ahead preach

1686
01:33:31.239 --> 01:33:31.880
well what I'm saying.

1687
01:33:32.000 --> 01:33:33.479
So I forgot my train of thought.

1688
01:33:34.199 --> 01:33:36.720
But all right, so now now that now that you know,

1689
01:33:36.880 --> 01:33:39.760
we we we we did this the last topic of

1690
01:33:39.840 --> 01:33:43.039
the night. I wanted to go back to a comment,

1691
01:33:44.359 --> 01:33:49.520
uh actually a recommendation of a topic from Amy Lynn.

1692
01:33:49.640 --> 01:33:55.039
She said she wanted to talk about personality disorders.

1693
01:33:56.960 --> 01:33:59.720
And and I know, I know that.

1694
01:34:01.239 --> 01:34:04.119
You know there are people with personality disorders, but I

1695
01:34:04.199 --> 01:34:06.960
want to I want to know from Lady G what

1696
01:34:07.279 --> 01:34:10.279
what she thinks about personality disorders.

1697
01:34:12.039 --> 01:34:18.279
I mean, other than something specific they exist. Personality disorders

1698
01:34:18.800 --> 01:34:22.920
are something that is not a person's fault. It's something

1699
01:34:23.000 --> 01:34:29.159
that is genetically within them. I do have views on

1700
01:34:30.439 --> 01:34:33.439
whether people have them treated or not.

1701
01:34:35.520 --> 01:34:38.159
To explain to everybody really quick, what is that? What

1702
01:34:38.760 --> 01:34:40.159
is a personality disorder?

1703
01:34:40.880 --> 01:34:46.600
Well, basically, a personality disorder is a grouping of different disorders,

1704
01:34:46.880 --> 01:34:47.039
you know.

1705
01:34:47.399 --> 01:34:47.840
So you have.

1706
01:34:50.600 --> 01:34:56.840
The multiple personality disorder, which is disassociative disorder, you have

1707
01:34:57.479 --> 01:35:05.239
the like the narcissistic uh personality disorder. And of course,

1708
01:35:05.319 --> 01:35:10.199
because it's twelve thirty at night, I can't totally think, my, my, my,

1709
01:35:11.000 --> 01:35:12.560
that's not a personality though.

1710
01:35:12.880 --> 01:35:15.239
That's no, oh no, it ain't all right.

1711
01:35:15.439 --> 01:35:18.399
No, bipolis is not a personality disorder.

1712
01:35:18.520 --> 01:35:22.239
What about what about Munchild's syndrome. That's personality disorder?

1713
01:35:22.600 --> 01:35:28.399
Like like, no, that's a personality disorder deals with a

1714
01:35:28.479 --> 01:35:33.479
person's personality. So it's the narcissism, that's a personality. The

1715
01:35:34.960 --> 01:35:39.479
multiple personalities deals with someone's personality because they change into

1716
01:35:39.640 --> 01:35:43.520
different areas of themselves.

1717
01:35:44.239 --> 01:35:46.680
Question, I don't finish me.

1718
01:35:48.840 --> 01:35:50.840
Because like, no way, no way, I have a question

1719
01:35:50.920 --> 01:35:53.119
that that that ties into this because I want to

1720
01:35:53.199 --> 01:35:53.920
understand something.

1721
01:35:54.079 --> 01:35:54.359
That's why.

1722
01:35:54.399 --> 01:35:57.840
That's why I'm saying I have a question. Let's just say,

1723
01:35:57.880 --> 01:36:03.520
you know, a person right goes by alias right, and

1724
01:36:03.600 --> 01:36:05.800
they talk about this person that's in like third you

1725
01:36:05.840 --> 01:36:07.720
know what I'm saying, like third person or whatever.

1726
01:36:08.359 --> 01:36:09.520
It's me. Yeah.

1727
01:36:10.199 --> 01:36:12.680
For instance, let's to say I'm Eric, but but you

1728
01:36:12.720 --> 01:36:13.960
know what I have, Like you know what I'm saying,

1729
01:36:14.000 --> 01:36:16.600
I name my personality. You know what I'm saying, John

1730
01:36:16.680 --> 01:36:21.119
John Right? Would that be a personality disorder or would that.

1731
01:36:21.159 --> 01:36:23.159
Be you know what I'm saying. Would that be grouped

1732
01:36:23.199 --> 01:36:26.399
into a personality disorder or grouped into like a mental illness?

1733
01:36:28.119 --> 01:36:28.239
Uh?

1734
01:36:29.000 --> 01:36:33.279
Well, it depends on how you're utilizing that, because there

1735
01:36:33.279 --> 01:36:34.800
are a lot of people who speak in the third

1736
01:36:34.880 --> 01:36:37.760
person and it's not a personality disorder.

1737
01:36:38.760 --> 01:36:38.920
You know.

1738
01:36:39.720 --> 01:36:44.800
Personality basically deals with your core self, your core beliefs,

1739
01:36:45.239 --> 01:36:47.800
your core thoughts, your core actions. So the thing about

1740
01:36:47.840 --> 01:36:52.399
disassociative disorder, which is what they used to call multiple personalities.

1741
01:36:53.880 --> 01:36:55.880
That that is a.

1742
01:36:57.520 --> 01:37:02.239
Trauma based reaction to things.

1743
01:37:02.840 --> 01:37:03.000
Right.

1744
01:37:03.880 --> 01:37:07.600
So you have the personality that is the protector, the

1745
01:37:07.680 --> 01:37:11.960
personality that is the inner child. You have the personality

1746
01:37:12.199 --> 01:37:16.680
that is you know what they consider the real person,

1747
01:37:17.119 --> 01:37:22.520
you know, that main person. So personality is a lot

1748
01:37:22.640 --> 01:37:28.800
bigger than just identity. It's something that serves a purpose,

1749
01:37:30.119 --> 01:37:30.319
you know.

1750
01:37:33.520 --> 01:37:33.560
What.

1751
01:37:34.960 --> 01:37:38.920
Look when people use aliases and things like that, that's

1752
01:37:39.039 --> 01:37:42.680
just a thought process that's not necessarily personality.

1753
01:37:43.479 --> 01:37:47.159
All right. So I'm gonna ask about a movie which

1754
01:37:47.319 --> 01:37:51.880
kind of deal with us. All right, So if you

1755
01:37:52.000 --> 01:37:56.520
ever seen that movie Split, yep? Is that a personality

1756
01:37:56.520 --> 01:37:57.680
disord or a mental illness?

1757
01:37:58.880 --> 01:38:04.000
Well, personality is a mental illness. They are characterized as

1758
01:38:04.079 --> 01:38:08.920
mental illnesses, and Split is the disassociative disorder. He was

1759
01:38:08.960 --> 01:38:11.920
split in all of those different personalities in order to

1760
01:38:12.039 --> 01:38:14.119
protect different areas of himself.

1761
01:38:16.439 --> 01:38:21.880
Got you, Got you? Got you because like because like

1762
01:38:23.439 --> 01:38:25.560
because like you know what, like when when when you

1763
01:38:25.640 --> 01:38:27.000
started saying that, I was like, yo, you know what

1764
01:38:27.079 --> 01:38:27.840
should I ask it?

1765
01:38:28.000 --> 01:38:29.039
Or no? Should I ask?

1766
01:38:29.159 --> 01:38:30.840
I was like, you know what, this may sound foolish,

1767
01:38:30.880 --> 01:38:32.880
you know what I'm saying because like because like to me,

1768
01:38:33.000 --> 01:38:37.239
like Split was a great movie, like you know, but

1769
01:38:37.399 --> 01:38:43.680
you know, like especially you know, you know, like how

1770
01:38:43.760 --> 01:38:46.520
like you just played into these different characters non stop,

1771
01:38:46.680 --> 01:38:48.479
non stop, non stop up.

1772
01:38:48.479 --> 01:38:51.600
Until you look But if you look at it, all

1773
01:38:51.680 --> 01:38:56.119
of those different pastors served a purpose.

1774
01:38:56.199 --> 01:39:02.079
For exactly exactly so so like up until it came

1775
01:39:02.119 --> 01:39:02.920
to the beast.

1776
01:39:04.439 --> 01:39:07.279
Right, but even that one served the purpose. Even that

1777
01:39:07.359 --> 01:39:09.119
one served the purpose because you.

1778
01:39:09.159 --> 01:39:10.840
Know what he spared the he spared the girl that

1779
01:39:11.039 --> 01:39:12.079
was that was.

1780
01:39:13.600 --> 01:39:17.800
That was like molested by her uncle, right, Notice the

1781
01:39:17.840 --> 01:39:21.039
other two the other two girls were murdered, but he

1782
01:39:21.119 --> 01:39:23.920
spread it talking about like what was that word that

1783
01:39:24.000 --> 01:39:28.199
he used that you were, like something like chosen or

1784
01:39:28.279 --> 01:39:31.960
like you know, cleans up something something like that, Like

1785
01:39:32.039 --> 01:39:34.119
that's why he spared her and just walked away and whatever.

1786
01:39:35.319 --> 01:39:35.640
Mhm.

1787
01:39:36.520 --> 01:39:41.640
You know, but like but yeah, you know what personality disorders? Right,

1788
01:39:44.479 --> 01:39:47.680
because like you know what, Like I know, I'm just

1789
01:39:47.720 --> 01:39:49.800
gonna put it out there. I'm bipolar and I don't

1790
01:39:49.800 --> 01:39:52.479
take my meds. No why I don't take my meds.

1791
01:39:53.279 --> 01:39:54.039
This may sound.

1792
01:39:53.920 --> 01:39:57.840
Foolish or whatever, but but yo, you know what I

1793
01:39:57.920 --> 01:39:59.600
want to feel everything I want, you know what, like

1794
01:39:59.720 --> 01:40:01.760
my like the mess that I take made me feel

1795
01:40:01.840 --> 01:40:05.479
like I just existed, right.

1796
01:40:06.359 --> 01:40:09.840
You cannot can speak to that for a second. Yeah,

1797
01:40:10.479 --> 01:40:12.279
I don't know if you would be surprised by this,

1798
01:40:12.560 --> 01:40:17.479
but many people who have bipolar and of course there

1799
01:40:17.479 --> 01:40:21.119
are different types of bipolar. There's quick cycling, slow cycling,

1800
01:40:21.600 --> 01:40:25.399
you know, all of that stuff. That is usually how

1801
01:40:27.359 --> 01:40:30.520
people with bipolar disorder deal with it. They don't take

1802
01:40:30.560 --> 01:40:33.000
the medications because we're in there and when they're in

1803
01:40:33.079 --> 01:40:38.800
their manic they feel they but they also don't want

1804
01:40:38.840 --> 01:40:42.039
to see that. It's in that state that they make

1805
01:40:42.119 --> 01:40:50.239
the most uh yeah, you know, they make those those

1806
01:40:50.920 --> 01:40:56.399
quick decisions that are not thought through and and the

1807
01:40:56.560 --> 01:41:02.039
mania causes so much dam image it does, you know.

1808
01:41:02.119 --> 01:41:04.560
It's the funny The funny thing is the funny thing

1809
01:41:04.680 --> 01:41:07.039
is that you know what, like like you know what,

1810
01:41:07.199 --> 01:41:09.720
like when I'm on the phone and I'm just talking

1811
01:41:09.800 --> 01:41:12.239
fast or whatever, right, Like i could be talking to

1812
01:41:12.319 --> 01:41:14.119
Coleona and I'm like, yo, I'm in a great mood

1813
01:41:14.119 --> 01:41:15.319
and this that and the third like and I'm just

1814
01:41:15.439 --> 01:41:17.159
talking and talking and then like you know, like your

1815
01:41:17.239 --> 01:41:18.439
donna be in the back of my head, I'm like,

1816
01:41:18.520 --> 01:41:21.600
oh shit, I'm manic, like you know what, I gotta

1817
01:41:21.640 --> 01:41:22.439
be careful.

1818
01:41:22.319 --> 01:41:25.880
You know what, that plays off that plays a part

1819
01:41:26.119 --> 01:41:30.680
in this podcast. That's that's one of the reasons why

1820
01:41:31.359 --> 01:41:37.840
you continuously cut people off without really noticing. It's a

1821
01:41:37.920 --> 01:41:41.319
part of that mania. It's because you your mind can't

1822
01:41:41.399 --> 01:41:43.960
slow down enough that if you don't speak in that

1823
01:41:44.159 --> 01:41:47.600
moment and interrupt somebody, you're gonna lose it.

1824
01:41:48.359 --> 01:41:49.840
And you know what, I don't want to apologize for that,

1825
01:41:49.880 --> 01:41:51.359
you know what I'm saying, Like I said, I don't

1826
01:41:51.439 --> 01:41:54.079
take you know what I'm saying like today today, you

1827
01:41:54.159 --> 01:41:55.640
know what, Like I'm like, you know what, like I

1828
01:41:55.800 --> 01:41:59.199
noticed that. I was like, you know, man again, and

1829
01:41:59.279 --> 01:42:02.560
it's funny because you know what, it's always in good

1830
01:42:02.680 --> 01:42:04.920
weather where like you know, my mania starts acting up.

1831
01:42:05.319 --> 01:42:06.439
I'm gonna be honest, you know what I'm.

1832
01:42:06.319 --> 01:42:10.920
Saying, like beautiful weather like today, you know like like

1833
01:42:11.000 --> 01:42:13.359
you know, like it's just like it, you know I'm saying,

1834
01:42:13.439 --> 01:42:16.159
like it sparks something right and.

1835
01:42:18.039 --> 01:42:18.479
Exactly.

1836
01:42:18.840 --> 01:42:20.920
But you know what, though, like I also like to

1837
01:42:20.960 --> 01:42:22.520
feel like you know what I'm saying when I'm sad too,

1838
01:42:22.600 --> 01:42:24.760
because you know what, it makes me realize that, Yo, what.

1839
01:42:24.880 --> 01:42:26.880
I can be touched. You know what I'm saying, Like

1840
01:42:27.199 --> 01:42:30.239
as fast as fast, like you know, I could be

1841
01:42:30.279 --> 01:42:32.920
all happy and you know, be like the kool Aid man,

1842
01:42:33.039 --> 01:42:35.319
be like oh yeah, you know, run through the brick wall.

1843
01:42:35.199 --> 01:42:37.760
Or whatever is as fast as I could be curled

1844
01:42:37.760 --> 01:42:40.920
in a corner. You know what I'm saying. And I

1845
01:42:41.159 --> 01:42:44.560
and and and you know you know what though, you.

1846
01:42:44.560 --> 01:42:47.600
Know what, I used to hate it, but I appreciate it.

1847
01:42:48.000 --> 01:42:51.680
You know what I'm saying. I actually embrace it. I

1848
01:42:51.760 --> 01:42:52.159
embrace it.

1849
01:42:53.119 --> 01:42:57.159
Why I embrace it because you know what is that

1850
01:43:00.119 --> 01:43:01.600
it's a gift and a curse. That's the way I

1851
01:43:01.640 --> 01:43:06.119
look at it, right, Like.

1852
01:43:07.800 --> 01:43:09.720
I understand now you know what I'm saying, I'm more

1853
01:43:09.760 --> 01:43:13.560
empathetic to people you know that are addicts.

1854
01:43:13.720 --> 01:43:15.960
I'm empathetic to people that go through this, you know,

1855
01:43:16.119 --> 01:43:19.279
like that go through all of this ship. You know,

1856
01:43:19.479 --> 01:43:22.960
like I became more empathetic towards it. That's the reason why,

1857
01:43:23.079 --> 01:43:28.800
like you know, like relationship wise, you know, like my

1858
01:43:29.119 --> 01:43:32.760
you know, my lady knows what's up. When when I

1859
01:43:32.800 --> 01:43:34.560
start like you know, trolling the ship out of her.

1860
01:43:35.680 --> 01:43:37.319
You know, I was saying like like you know, start

1861
01:43:37.359 --> 01:43:39.880
doing stupid shit like you know, like like at my

1862
01:43:40.000 --> 01:43:42.800
finger going, you know, say, giving her wet willie. She's like, Oh,

1863
01:43:42.880 --> 01:43:44.199
you're on one today, aren't you. I was like, I

1864
01:43:44.239 --> 01:43:47.560
don't know, you know, like, you know, can.

1865
01:43:47.520 --> 01:43:51.159
You imagine what it's like for you? Right, So, knowing

1866
01:43:51.279 --> 01:43:54.560
what it's like for you, imagine what that's like for

1867
01:43:54.680 --> 01:43:57.960
the person in your life that cares about you. How

1868
01:43:58.159 --> 01:44:01.159
chaotic and toxic that must feel.

1869
01:44:02.920 --> 01:44:04.960
I try to make a less I'll try to make

1870
01:44:05.000 --> 01:44:05.840
a less toxic.

1871
01:44:06.399 --> 01:44:10.880
Well, damn, you know what I'm saying, Like shit.

1872
01:44:10.960 --> 01:44:12.680
Damn you know what I'm saying, I try to make

1873
01:44:12.680 --> 01:44:13.039
a next.

1874
01:44:16.079 --> 01:44:19.000
That's the purpose of medication. Though I know you feel

1875
01:44:19.319 --> 01:44:22.000
I know you you make it feels like it deadens you.

1876
01:44:22.760 --> 01:44:26.760
But the truth is that that knockdown, that that that

1877
01:44:26.960 --> 01:44:31.159
step down, that is actually what normal feels like. And

1878
01:44:31.279 --> 01:44:35.279
that's the purpose of medication. It's not a cure, it is,

1879
01:44:38.239 --> 01:44:41.279
but the thing is, but look at this, if you

1880
01:44:41.520 --> 01:44:45.239
don't find a new normal, you know, if you do

1881
01:44:45.399 --> 01:44:47.920
what you've always done, you'll get what you always got right,

1882
01:44:48.520 --> 01:44:53.199
and you yourself have admitted these sporadic spur of the

1883
01:44:53.319 --> 01:44:58.760
moment decisions can be very dangerous and affecting to other people,

1884
01:44:58.880 --> 01:44:59.560
to yourself.

1885
01:45:00.199 --> 01:45:03.239
And that's the reason dad, Wait real quick, you know

1886
01:45:03.239 --> 01:45:05.119
what I'm saying, Like like you know what like And

1887
01:45:05.279 --> 01:45:07.880
that's the reason why, like I stay home for the

1888
01:45:08.000 --> 01:45:09.439
most part, because you know what, like.

1889
01:45:12.359 --> 01:45:18.359
Imagine what you're imagine what you're cycling does to her

1890
01:45:19.640 --> 01:45:23.159
as an infant, and as she grows, she's not going

1891
01:45:23.239 --> 01:45:25.439
to know up from down and down from up. She's

1892
01:45:25.479 --> 01:45:29.920
not going to realize what that that idea of normal

1893
01:45:30.159 --> 01:45:34.279
is like for for us as parents to to be

1894
01:45:34.520 --> 01:45:38.119
responsible and to medicate, whether it's something we enjoy or

1895
01:45:38.199 --> 01:45:42.399
don't enjoy, right, it's the responsible decision. It's giving us

1896
01:45:42.479 --> 01:45:46.039
the ability to make level headed choices. It's the ability

1897
01:45:46.159 --> 01:45:51.560
to show our children, our loved ones that sometimes we

1898
01:45:51.640 --> 01:45:55.199
don't have to like everything in our life, but we

1899
01:45:55.399 --> 01:45:58.239
have to want to be there for them, kind of

1900
01:45:58.319 --> 01:46:01.439
like loving yourself so that you can love other people

1901
01:46:02.760 --> 01:46:08.119
by taking your treatments or going And everybody doesn't necessarily

1902
01:46:08.239 --> 01:46:11.520
need to have medication. It's it's a case by case situation.

1903
01:46:12.399 --> 01:46:16.840
But some type of a treatment, whether it's holistic therapy,

1904
01:46:17.600 --> 01:46:23.119
uh CBT, DBT, any of those therapies, right, by treating it,

1905
01:46:24.079 --> 01:46:26.039
we're showing the people that we care about that we

1906
01:46:26.239 --> 01:46:29.239
care enough about them that we're trying to be well.

1907
01:46:30.479 --> 01:46:34.239
And whether you believe it or not, especially babies, because

1908
01:46:34.279 --> 01:46:37.560
we hold them, we're close to them, they pick up

1909
01:46:37.800 --> 01:46:43.479
on our what we think are unseen, our nonverbal cues,

1910
01:46:43.560 --> 01:46:47.399
our body language, our behavior. And so what you're feeling

1911
01:46:47.560 --> 01:46:53.800
is normal to everybody else is hyper hyper vigilant, hyper

1912
01:46:53.920 --> 01:46:58.479
thought processing. You know, the mile lamentente talking that you know,

1913
01:46:58.640 --> 01:47:01.680
like all of those things are out of your control

1914
01:47:01.760 --> 01:47:04.880
in that moment, and because you're used to that and

1915
01:47:05.039 --> 01:47:10.239
you enjoy that feeling of feeling alive, it's not the norm,

1916
01:47:12.079 --> 01:47:16.680
you know, and so it can be very impactful. And

1917
01:47:16.760 --> 01:47:18.840
I'm not saying it's right or wrong, because each person

1918
01:47:19.359 --> 01:47:22.119
you know, you're you're totally entitled to your feelings and

1919
01:47:22.199 --> 01:47:26.079
your thoughts and not wanting to take your medication, but

1920
01:47:26.239 --> 01:47:28.600
it just can be very dangerous, not just for you,

1921
01:47:30.720 --> 01:47:34.840
but for your family, you know, because again, imagine, I

1922
01:47:35.119 --> 01:47:38.359
don't know if your girl struggles with any kind of

1923
01:47:38.479 --> 01:47:43.439
mental uh mental health issues or you know, you said

1924
01:47:43.479 --> 01:47:46.560
she had the postpartum so that that is a type

1925
01:47:46.600 --> 01:47:53.319
of mental health disorder and that could be exacerbating some

1926
01:47:53.479 --> 01:47:57.760
of her if she has anxiety or depression, because imagine

1927
01:47:57.800 --> 01:48:01.760
the person you love, you have no clue under God's

1928
01:48:01.800 --> 01:48:06.159
green earth, how to help them, how to process them,

1929
01:48:06.479 --> 01:48:09.760
how to how to cope with what they're giving you.

1930
01:48:10.479 --> 01:48:12.199
You know, like when you were doing the wet Willian

1931
01:48:12.239 --> 01:48:17.840
stuff for her. For some people, that's over stimulating, and

1932
01:48:17.960 --> 01:48:20.760
it's like, I love this man with all my heart,

1933
01:48:21.000 --> 01:48:23.079
but I don't know how much longer I could deal

1934
01:48:23.159 --> 01:48:24.039
with this behavior.

1935
01:48:25.359 --> 01:48:32.319
You know, Lien can jeez spit in that knowledge, Jesus.

1936
01:48:32.159 --> 01:48:35.600
Christ, woman, Yo, you know what I get that. I

1937
01:48:35.720 --> 01:48:36.600
get that, you know, like.

1938
01:48:37.159 --> 01:48:40.560
She's a genius, this lady, Jesus.

1939
01:48:41.640 --> 01:48:43.159
You know like I get that, you know what I mean? Like,

1940
01:48:45.039 --> 01:48:47.399
but see, I am going to say this, but.

1941
01:48:48.920 --> 01:48:49.119
You know.

1942
01:48:50.960 --> 01:48:52.520
I'm not gonna say that. You know what I'm saying.

1943
01:48:52.640 --> 01:48:54.359
I'm actually gonna keep my mouth shut because you know

1944
01:48:54.399 --> 01:48:56.359
what what I'm about to say is gonna make me.

1945
01:48:56.960 --> 01:49:00.560
It's gonna make me sound selfish because I'm gonna because

1946
01:49:00.680 --> 01:49:03.760
I am being self truth speak, because.

1947
01:49:03.720 --> 01:49:05.800
Because I am being selfish, like like you know what,

1948
01:49:06.000 --> 01:49:09.600
like like you know what, like at least you know what,

1949
01:49:09.800 --> 01:49:12.039
like they used to have me on. Like first they

1950
01:49:12.079 --> 01:49:14.920
started me off with lifting right, lift work until they

1951
01:49:14.960 --> 01:49:18.239
didn't no more. Then they started giving me shots right right,

1952
01:49:19.000 --> 01:49:22.960
and like the shots work until they started not working

1953
01:49:23.000 --> 01:49:25.319
no more because you know, like and it's and it's

1954
01:49:25.319 --> 01:49:27.680
always like, you know what, I'm elevated to something stronger,

1955
01:49:27.840 --> 01:49:31.039
something strongest, And I'm like, bro, just I'm like, yo,

1956
01:49:31.159 --> 01:49:33.439
you know what if that's gonna be the case, you

1957
01:49:33.479 --> 01:49:35.000
know what I'm saying, Like I'm gonna be you know

1958
01:49:35.039 --> 01:49:36.640
what I'm saying, Like I'm gonna be.

1959
01:49:36.680 --> 01:49:40.399
Drugged out by the time I'm fifty, right, you know.

1960
01:49:40.520 --> 01:49:44.399
So I'm like, yo, you know what, I'm just gonna

1961
01:49:44.399 --> 01:49:45.760
you know what I'm saying. I'm just gonna you know

1962
01:49:45.800 --> 01:49:48.600
what I'm saying, Like I'll be at the mercy of

1963
01:49:48.640 --> 01:49:52.960
my own hands man, right, you know, like you know,

1964
01:49:53.079 --> 01:49:56.039
like like you know what. Like but like see the

1965
01:49:56.119 --> 01:50:00.279
thing is like you know, like me knowing that I'm

1966
01:50:00.279 --> 01:50:02.840
not on meds, like sometimes like you know, like I'm

1967
01:50:02.920 --> 01:50:05.800
not self aware of what's going on because like it

1968
01:50:05.880 --> 01:50:07.119
feels so good. You know what I'm saying, is you

1969
01:50:07.199 --> 01:50:08.560
for it? Right?

1970
01:50:09.479 --> 01:50:12.800
But not ten times I am self aware because I'm like,

1971
01:50:12.880 --> 01:50:15.520
ah shit, I'm manic right now, like all right, you know,

1972
01:50:15.800 --> 01:50:18.840
all right, you know what, certain things I gotta do,

1973
01:50:19.720 --> 01:50:21.159
you know what I'm saying, Like certain things I got

1974
01:50:21.279 --> 01:50:22.079
to avoid.

1975
01:50:23.399 --> 01:50:25.439
You know, like for like for instance, like.

1976
01:50:26.920 --> 01:50:28.560
Like caffeine.

1977
01:50:29.880 --> 01:50:33.800
What was that caffeine? But I needed though, you know,

1978
01:50:33.960 --> 01:50:36.000
like like like you know what, like I need it,

1979
01:50:36.119 --> 01:50:37.880
especially deal with my you know what. See.

1980
01:50:37.920 --> 01:50:39.640
The good thing, all right, the good thing about being

1981
01:50:39.640 --> 01:50:41.720
manic is I feel a lot, right But like the

1982
01:50:41.760 --> 01:50:44.359
good thing I'm also about being manic is that I'm

1983
01:50:44.399 --> 01:50:45.600
not falling to sleep on my daughter.

1984
01:50:46.000 --> 01:50:46.199
Yeah.

1985
01:50:46.239 --> 01:50:49.479
It gives you the energy to do what exactly.

1986
01:50:49.079 --> 01:50:51.399
You know what I'm saying, like exactly, so it's like

1987
01:50:52.560 --> 01:50:55.960
but the bad thing about it is that once you're sleeping,

1988
01:50:57.680 --> 01:51:00.960
yes you know, yes, yes.

1989
01:51:01.399 --> 01:51:04.199
Like you know, like like the bad thing about being

1990
01:51:04.239 --> 01:51:05.880
man be is that, you know what, like my mood,

1991
01:51:06.079 --> 01:51:10.000
my moose, my moose was just from like it changes

1992
01:51:10.079 --> 01:51:12.239
real quick, and I catch on to that. I'm like,

1993
01:51:12.279 --> 01:51:13.800
you know what, like.

1994
01:51:15.279 --> 01:51:19.520
I may misinterpret something that somebody says or whatever, and

1995
01:51:19.800 --> 01:51:21.800
I'm just quiet, you know, just looking at them like

1996
01:51:21.840 --> 01:51:23.920
you know what, because like now like I have to

1997
01:51:24.039 --> 01:51:26.680
like you know, gather the information to take it. I'm like,

1998
01:51:26.720 --> 01:51:29.720
all right, you know what he said? This should I

1999
01:51:29.800 --> 01:51:34.840
be taking it offensively or you know, and it could

2000
01:51:34.840 --> 01:51:39.159
be something simple, but I'm not listening to what you're saying.

2001
01:51:39.479 --> 01:51:40.319
Like your tone.

2002
01:51:40.960 --> 01:51:42.840
The tone of your voice is the first thing I

2003
01:51:42.960 --> 01:51:46.880
hear mm hmm, you know, and that could trigger me

2004
01:51:47.000 --> 01:51:49.000
to you know what I'm saying on some like you know,

2005
01:51:49.199 --> 01:51:49.920
ra ra shit.

2006
01:51:50.239 --> 01:51:51.560
But I learned, but I'm learning.

2007
01:51:51.720 --> 01:51:55.319
I'm still learning to like, you know, not not attack

2008
01:51:55.399 --> 01:51:57.279
on the first, you know, on the first you know

2009
01:51:57.319 --> 01:51:59.399
what I'm saying, Like like I'm just listening to what

2010
01:51:59.479 --> 01:52:03.880
you're saying, but you know, like the tone of your voice,

2011
01:52:03.880 --> 01:52:05.880
I'm like, yo, you know what, like you know, like

2012
01:52:06.039 --> 01:52:08.680
trying to process the words over the tone, you know

2013
01:52:08.680 --> 01:52:11.840
what I'm saying because like because like sometimes you know,

2014
01:52:11.960 --> 01:52:15.319
like like it's like saying, you know what, fuck you

2015
01:52:15.439 --> 01:52:16.000
have a nice day.

2016
01:52:16.039 --> 01:52:17.880
I could be like, hey, you have a nice day too,

2017
01:52:18.359 --> 01:52:20.079
great guy? Right?

2018
01:52:20.920 --> 01:52:21.840
Or yeah?

2019
01:52:22.119 --> 01:52:23.640
Or you good? Or you could be like yo, I

2020
01:52:23.800 --> 01:52:25.479
love nothing, like Yo, who the fuck do you think

2021
01:52:25.479 --> 01:52:26.000
you're talking to?

2022
01:52:26.159 --> 01:52:26.239
Bro?

2023
01:52:26.960 --> 01:52:28.720
You know what I'm saying, Like it goes that way,

2024
01:52:29.279 --> 01:52:30.920
you know what I'm saying, Like the word is there

2025
01:52:30.960 --> 01:52:32.680
I'm just listening to the tone of the aggression or

2026
01:52:32.760 --> 01:52:33.239
like thereof.

2027
01:52:36.039 --> 01:52:39.279
So that's so like you know what, that's what it is.

2028
01:52:39.399 --> 01:52:42.279
But like but like you know what though, like it

2029
01:52:42.399 --> 01:52:45.000
helps a lot though, especially dealing with a child who

2030
01:52:45.159 --> 01:52:46.800
likes to wake up at the break of dawn.

2031
01:52:48.039 --> 01:52:51.199
Yeah, so if you need that, imagine how other people

2032
01:52:51.239 --> 01:52:56.039
who are not bipolar manage being brand new parents.

2033
01:52:57.039 --> 01:52:59.039
See the things. I'm not a brand new parent, you know,

2034
01:52:59.159 --> 01:53:01.640
like it's just a brand new baby, you.

2035
01:53:01.680 --> 01:53:05.680
Know, but for her, you're a brand new parent. So

2036
01:53:06.399 --> 01:53:10.279
the thing is you have to sometimes you got to

2037
01:53:10.359 --> 01:53:14.039
roll with those punches. Oh absolutely, if that means that

2038
01:53:14.119 --> 01:53:16.560
you gotta be dog tired because you want to be

2039
01:53:16.680 --> 01:53:20.199
more responsible and be there for her in the future,

2040
01:53:21.479 --> 01:53:26.840
or not make a random error by not being able

2041
01:53:26.920 --> 01:53:30.680
to catch yourself all the time. And you know, maybe

2042
01:53:30.720 --> 01:53:33.279
you're in a hurry to feed her and you warm

2043
01:53:33.359 --> 01:53:36.439
the bottle up too much because you're mannic, you know,

2044
01:53:36.600 --> 01:53:39.600
like sometimes you have to weigh the pros and cons.

2045
01:53:39.479 --> 01:53:42.640
You know, you know what, you know what I did that,

2046
01:53:43.039 --> 01:53:45.600
I did that one time, like you know, actually hit

2047
01:53:45.680 --> 01:53:48.359
the button like like you know, you know, thirty seconds,

2048
01:53:48.359 --> 01:53:50.840
you know, like with cole milk. It's a minute actidently had,

2049
01:53:50.920 --> 01:53:52.640
like you know, a minute thirty seconds and I'm like,

2050
01:53:53.359 --> 01:53:55.279
but I always like checked the bottom, like damn, this

2051
01:53:55.279 --> 01:53:55.840
shit is hot.

2052
01:53:56.199 --> 01:53:58.479
So you know what I did right into the freezer,

2053
01:53:58.520 --> 01:54:00.560
put two ice cubes, shook it up like yo, here

2054
01:54:01.119 --> 01:54:01.800
and she drank it.

2055
01:54:03.079 --> 01:54:05.560
You know, like like you know, like there's always like

2056
01:54:05.640 --> 01:54:08.000
you know, there's always a contingency plan in the way,

2057
01:54:08.680 --> 01:54:11.399
you know, just in case, just in case.

2058
01:54:12.079 --> 01:54:15.119
You know, like you're mad that way, that's awesome, but

2059
01:54:15.199 --> 01:54:17.800
everybody doesn't, you know, everybody can't function that way.

2060
01:54:17.920 --> 01:54:19.000
I learned.

2061
01:54:19.359 --> 01:54:22.960
I learned to like like try to foreshadow certain things

2062
01:54:24.159 --> 01:54:28.359
because like when I was madic and had no plans

2063
01:54:28.399 --> 01:54:33.920
and no clue, that's where you know I ended up,

2064
01:54:33.960 --> 01:54:36.640
you know, like in the county jail mm hmm.

2065
01:54:37.760 --> 01:54:43.000
You know, like especially you know, like especially with liquor.

2066
01:54:43.720 --> 01:54:47.239
See, like me, I'm always gonna be an alcoholic, even

2067
01:54:47.279 --> 01:54:49.399
though I haven't drank it three years, Like I always

2068
01:54:49.560 --> 01:54:50.439
I always.

2069
01:54:50.159 --> 01:54:52.520
Tell myself that, yo, you're an alcoholical gods and what

2070
01:54:53.439 --> 01:54:56.880
you can never have a glass of wine? What you can?

2071
01:54:57.039 --> 01:54:59.600
And and you know what, and you know what, and

2072
01:54:59.720 --> 01:55:02.600
I'm always going to be an addict. Yeah, you know,

2073
01:55:02.720 --> 01:55:04.680
because like I because you know what, like I quietly

2074
01:55:04.760 --> 01:55:06.279
had a problem with percosets.

2075
01:55:06.479 --> 01:55:10.720
Unfortunately that's what they give me now. You know. It's

2076
01:55:10.760 --> 01:55:12.560
like you know what, it came back full circus.

2077
01:55:12.600 --> 01:55:15.399
But this time I'm prescribed it because of my back pain,

2078
01:55:16.279 --> 01:55:18.319
and I'm very careful with it, you know, Like my

2079
01:55:18.520 --> 01:55:21.000
girl has my pills right now, because I told her.

2080
01:55:22.159 --> 01:55:24.560
I told her, I'm like, yo, you know what, I'll

2081
01:55:24.640 --> 01:55:27.680
take one a day because because like you know what,

2082
01:55:27.760 --> 01:55:33.079
when the baby's sleeping, I do housework and that involves

2083
01:55:33.119 --> 01:55:37.399
me obviously using my back and it hurts, you know,

2084
01:55:37.600 --> 01:55:40.239
like what I'm done. When she wakes up, it hurts,

2085
01:55:40.880 --> 01:55:42.960
like my back would just start cracking for no reason.

2086
01:55:44.000 --> 01:55:46.960
So I try to hold off on it. But then

2087
01:55:47.079 --> 01:55:49.319
you know, I'll take it, you know, and then like

2088
01:55:49.399 --> 01:55:52.600
you know, it's like basically one a day and that's it.

2089
01:55:53.479 --> 01:55:55.319
Especially when it rains. I try to, like you know,

2090
01:55:55.880 --> 01:55:59.079
I try to soldier through, right because you know what,

2091
01:55:59.239 --> 01:56:04.239
the because I know, you know, the last time, you know,

2092
01:56:04.399 --> 01:56:09.119
like where it led me and mind you when I

2093
01:56:09.239 --> 01:56:11.039
was you know what I'm saying, when I was kicking

2094
01:56:11.199 --> 01:56:14.199
you know, you know what I'm saying the percocets.

2095
01:56:14.840 --> 01:56:18.760
My brother had just passed away. Nobody knew that I

2096
01:56:18.880 --> 01:56:20.680
had that problem except for my brother.

2097
01:56:21.399 --> 01:56:21.760
Mm hmm.

2098
01:56:22.760 --> 01:56:26.920
So when he passed away, like I knew he had

2099
01:56:27.000 --> 01:56:29.359
pills to say, you know, like to follow there, I went,

2100
01:56:29.840 --> 01:56:38.119
you know, like I remember, like you know, I went

2101
01:56:38.159 --> 01:56:41.680
to my nephew and I'm like, yo, where's his pills

2102
01:56:41.720 --> 01:56:43.399
that you know? And I heard the toilet flush and

2103
01:56:43.479 --> 01:56:45.600
I'm like I'm like, I'm like it was in the

2104
01:56:45.640 --> 01:56:47.920
bathroom's like oh, you know, I well out in the

2105
01:56:47.960 --> 01:56:51.520
bathroom with my mom. So I go use the bathroom

2106
01:56:52.159 --> 01:56:55.479
and I see the pills gone. I was like, no,

2107
01:56:57.359 --> 01:57:02.159
so I'm mourning. And then I'm going through withdraws like purpose,

2108
01:57:02.199 --> 01:57:04.159
that's withdraws of mind. I was like I was taking

2109
01:57:04.199 --> 01:57:07.159
purposes for like four or five years straight, right.

2110
01:57:08.239 --> 01:57:08.399
You know.

2111
01:57:08.600 --> 01:57:12.479
And this all happened over kidney stones when it needs

2112
01:57:12.520 --> 01:57:14.039
to give you like thirty in a bottle from the

2113
01:57:14.319 --> 01:57:17.000
er m hm, kidney stones.

2114
01:57:17.760 --> 01:57:20.760
That's how like, you know, my little you know trip

2115
01:57:21.960 --> 01:57:28.960
with the opiates happened. And now I get it because

2116
01:57:28.960 --> 01:57:32.640
it's prescribed to me, right, and I'm very very careful

2117
01:57:32.720 --> 01:57:37.720
how to take this ship extremely careful. I have no

2118
01:57:37.800 --> 01:57:41.560
other choice, right, you know, like like I really have

2119
01:57:41.680 --> 01:57:48.039
no other choice because like I see how like you know,

2120
01:57:48.199 --> 01:57:50.199
like the like these young kids are the olding over

2121
01:57:50.359 --> 01:57:54.239
you know, over perks because their lace where it's fent

2122
01:57:54.359 --> 01:57:58.640
and all whatever. Like that's my fear, you know. So

2123
01:57:58.760 --> 01:58:00.960
like that's the reason why, Like you know, like I

2124
01:58:01.039 --> 01:58:03.760
always tell myself that you're always going to be an addict.

2125
01:58:03.800 --> 01:58:07.000
You're always going to be an alcoholic, you know, like

2126
01:58:07.720 --> 01:58:10.399
you're staying away from one. The other one is kind

2127
01:58:10.399 --> 01:58:13.279
of helping you through up until you get this, you

2128
01:58:13.359 --> 01:58:14.880
know what I'm saying to serve you that you need

2129
01:58:16.600 --> 01:58:20.880
up until then. You know, but at the meantime, you're

2130
01:58:20.920 --> 01:58:24.039
always going to be this. This is who you really are.

2131
01:58:25.039 --> 01:58:30.359
You know, you ain't beat nothing. However, you staying away

2132
01:58:30.359 --> 01:58:34.439
from people are not your illness exactly. However, you staying

2133
01:58:34.439 --> 01:58:38.680
away from people, places and things in the way, you're

2134
01:58:38.720 --> 01:58:41.319
beating it. You know, Like, look, you know what I

2135
01:58:41.359 --> 01:58:45.479
could be around people drinking nowadays, I don't drink. I

2136
01:58:45.520 --> 01:58:48.760
don't want to drink, you know, like I don't want

2137
01:58:48.800 --> 01:58:50.800
to do none of that. You know, Like.

2138
01:58:52.640 --> 01:58:55.119
It's just that, you know, it's just that, you know,

2139
01:58:55.199 --> 01:58:58.600
what the drinking part, because like I was bipolar, I

2140
01:58:58.680 --> 01:59:02.479
didn't know it would be something to calm my brain down.

2141
01:59:04.000 --> 01:59:05.920
You know, drinking and weed and stuff will be something

2142
01:59:05.960 --> 01:59:08.039
to calm my brain down. And then like you know,

2143
01:59:08.279 --> 01:59:11.000
like some like here and there, I'll take ecstasy for

2144
01:59:11.159 --> 01:59:11.600
what reason?

2145
01:59:11.720 --> 01:59:15.800
I have no glue? Mushrooms? You know, you know what

2146
01:59:15.840 --> 01:59:18.760
I'm saying, shrooms like you know, like like you know,

2147
01:59:19.000 --> 01:59:20.680
acid acid.

2148
01:59:20.800 --> 01:59:23.880
I do not understand why I even bother, you know,

2149
01:59:24.079 --> 01:59:27.439
like looking at you know, saying pink elephants in my

2150
01:59:27.560 --> 01:59:29.880
room and stuff like nah, bro, like like yo, you

2151
01:59:29.960 --> 01:59:33.279
know what. Yeah, it was fun until like you know,

2152
01:59:33.319 --> 01:59:35.640
I was trying to sleep and I couldn't because you know,

2153
01:59:35.680 --> 01:59:37.359
I'm saying, my blanket kept on trying to eat me.

2154
01:59:38.279 --> 01:59:39.039
I'll never forget that.

2155
01:59:39.640 --> 01:59:43.159
So the question is now really quick, The question is now,

2156
01:59:45.359 --> 01:59:48.000
are you content with where you are in your life

2157
01:59:48.319 --> 01:59:49.800
as far as all of this.

2158
01:59:51.319 --> 01:59:51.640
For me?

2159
01:59:52.399 --> 01:59:54.279
Yeah? You content with where you are in your life

2160
01:59:54.359 --> 01:59:54.640
right now?

2161
01:59:55.279 --> 01:59:55.319
No?

2162
01:59:55.560 --> 01:59:58.560
Because you know what I know, because because like yo,

2163
01:59:58.600 --> 02:00:01.000
you know what, Am I content good where I'm at?

2164
02:00:01.640 --> 02:00:04.800
But I know it's a yes and no. It's it's

2165
02:00:04.800 --> 02:00:07.039
a yes and no answer. You know what I'm saying

2166
02:00:07.760 --> 02:00:10.600
because Yo, when your content means you always want more.

2167
02:00:11.039 --> 02:00:15.640
You know what I'm saying. And I'm good where I'm at.

2168
02:00:15.680 --> 02:00:19.520
You know what I'm saying, like LifeWise, but like when

2169
02:00:20.159 --> 02:00:22.479
everything's all sudden and done with, I want more.

2170
02:00:22.479 --> 02:00:24.079
You know what I'm saying. I want more. I want to.

2171
02:00:24.760 --> 02:00:29.279
I want to show more, you know, to my daughter.

2172
02:00:29.600 --> 02:00:32.159
You know what I'm saying. I want to show more

2173
02:00:33.319 --> 02:00:36.600
to my lady. I want to. I want to help

2174
02:00:36.640 --> 02:00:39.680
my lady build her confidence up to where she could

2175
02:00:39.720 --> 02:00:42.359
be Like, Yo, you know what I got this? You

2176
02:00:42.399 --> 02:00:45.159
see what I mean? Like you know, like you see, but.

2177
02:00:45.279 --> 02:00:50.279
Can you see how trying to receive the correct treatment

2178
02:00:50.439 --> 02:00:53.399
for you might alleviate someone that stress for her?

2179
02:00:57.399 --> 02:00:57.600
Yeah?

2180
02:00:57.880 --> 02:00:59.800
Good question? Yeah?

2181
02:01:00.119 --> 02:01:03.520
Yeah, I mean for the most part, Yeah, I couldn't

2182
02:01:04.119 --> 02:01:09.600
you know, like, like you know what, damn it the

2183
02:01:09.680 --> 02:01:12.119
hell would your lady? G You got me thinking, I

2184
02:01:12.159 --> 02:01:12.840
don't want to think.

2185
02:01:13.640 --> 02:01:16.119
Well, I mean, give you an example, right, let me know.

2186
02:01:16.199 --> 02:01:17.760
I don't want them more examples. I want to do

2187
02:01:17.840 --> 02:01:19.399
as I please, and.

2188
02:01:19.560 --> 02:01:22.359
You are free to do so. God gave us free will.

2189
02:01:22.239 --> 02:01:25.840
Honey, But why do you gotta make sense for huh?

2190
02:01:28.600 --> 02:01:30.239
You don't say it like, what the fuck? You know

2191
02:01:30.279 --> 02:01:31.720
what I'm saying? Why you gotta make sense for I

2192
02:01:31.760 --> 02:01:32.159
don't like that.

2193
02:01:32.840 --> 02:01:34.960
Well that's why people don't like me, because I say

2194
02:01:35.000 --> 02:01:36.880
what needs to be said, not what they want to hear.

2195
02:01:38.159 --> 02:01:41.279
You know what I am? Friends, you talk to the

2196
02:01:41.359 --> 02:01:44.199
hand yo.

2197
02:01:44.479 --> 02:01:46.760
All with all that, with all that being said, man,

2198
02:01:46.880 --> 02:01:49.720
I just I just want to I just want to

2199
02:01:49.760 --> 02:01:58.039
say that Dan, this is a good episode. Weeah, we're

2200
02:01:58.079 --> 02:02:01.800
on that. We're on the air two hours now and

2201
02:02:03.000 --> 02:02:06.359
the conversation can continue to go. But I know it's

2202
02:02:06.520 --> 02:02:09.319
that time of night where you know, yeah, yeah, true, true,

2203
02:02:09.479 --> 02:02:10.520
you know what you know what I'm saying?

2204
02:02:10.680 --> 02:02:17.079
What I mean, Oh, bless your heart. Wait hold on,

2205
02:02:18.079 --> 02:02:18.680
I get up and.

2206
02:02:20.319 --> 02:02:20.960
Wait wait hold on.

2207
02:02:21.239 --> 02:02:26.359
At one o'clock I get up, and it depends you

2208
02:02:26.359 --> 02:02:26.840
know what I'm saying?

2209
02:02:26.920 --> 02:02:30.800
Like you know, like you so you can go back

2210
02:02:30.880 --> 02:02:31.319
to sleep?

2211
02:02:32.119 --> 02:02:32.840
Such hope.

2212
02:02:35.279 --> 02:02:37.479
Right? So so all right, so with all that, with

2213
02:02:37.560 --> 02:02:40.239
all this being said, I just want to say real

2214
02:02:40.359 --> 02:02:43.319
quick to the fans of the show that came on

2215
02:02:43.520 --> 02:02:46.359
to talk with us and bullshit with us in the

2216
02:02:46.479 --> 02:02:50.800
chat room. We appreciate you, Thank you, thanks yep, thanks

2217
02:02:50.840 --> 02:02:53.520
for the comments, Thanks for the questions. Thanks for everything

2218
02:02:54.319 --> 02:02:59.079
really quick. If anybody out there listening, watching whatever wants

2219
02:02:59.560 --> 02:03:02.840
and I got T shirts, I got a whole bunch

2220
02:03:02.880 --> 02:03:04.720
of ship and I can give y'all, just hit me up.

2221
02:03:04.840 --> 02:03:07.840
We even got condoms yeo. That says the truth might

2222
02:03:08.000 --> 02:03:09.960
hurt right. So like I'm just.

2223
02:03:13.079 --> 02:03:13.479
You guys.

2224
02:03:15.439 --> 02:03:16.960
Hey, look, you know what we got merchan you know

2225
02:03:16.960 --> 02:03:19.000
what I'm saying, Like for you women, for you women.

2226
02:03:19.159 --> 02:03:21.720
You know what I'm saying. We got throngs and rhyme stones.

2227
02:03:21.760 --> 02:03:25.039
That says the truth might hurt right, But ryme stones.

2228
02:03:24.720 --> 02:03:27.279
Because you know what. Be dazzled. You know what I'm saying.

2229
02:03:27.279 --> 02:03:30.239
It's bedazzled. You know, don't worry about it. You know

2230
02:03:31.560 --> 02:03:33.119
your You know what I'm saying, your loved one and

2231
02:03:33.199 --> 02:03:35.399
what not. Your loved ones. You know your significant other

2232
02:03:35.479 --> 02:03:36.119
will love it.

2233
02:03:36.560 --> 02:03:40.039
You know what I'm saying. Be dazzled, all right?

2234
02:03:40.279 --> 02:03:43.279
So, so anybody anybody want to hit up the show

2235
02:03:43.319 --> 02:03:45.000
for whatever reason, hit us up. You know how to

2236
02:03:45.039 --> 02:03:46.680
find us. They hit us up on YouTube, you can

2237
02:03:46.760 --> 02:03:49.880
hit us up on Facebook. Whatever it is. You know

2238
02:03:49.880 --> 02:03:51.680
what I'm saying. Say what you gotta say, do what

2239
02:03:51.760 --> 02:03:53.800
you gotta do. Just get it done. The right way

2240
02:03:54.199 --> 02:03:58.479
and always, since it's sleep, we gotta go. But always

2241
02:03:58.560 --> 02:03:59.479
keep in mind that at.

2242
02:03:59.399 --> 02:04:01.319
Some point this my.

2243
02:04:02.840 --> 02:04:07.000
Good night everybody. Mm hmmm good night, good night bye,

2244
02:04:07.239 --> 02:04:14.399
so like out good night oh yeah yah h