Aug. 16, 2024
"Taco" 'bout it Tuesday (Recorded LIVE on 8-13-24)
Taco 'bout Tuesday...we will talk about it but remember that at some point This Might Hurt!!!
Taco 'bout Tuesday...we will talk about it but remember that at some point This Might Hurt!!!
WEBVTT
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The concert of Bert.
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Hey, what's up everybody, Good evening, Welcome to this my
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HERD podcast. I hope everybody's having a good evening, and
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I hope you can hear me. If you can't hear me,
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say so and I'll adjust accordingly. Let me bring in
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my co host, Lady G.
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Lady G was good, Hey, big, what's going on?
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I'm chilling, chilling, chill. How are you?
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I'm wonderful as usual.
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All right, that's good. That's good. That's good. So how
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was your week?
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Well, it's only Tuesday.
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But other than oh, that's right, it's it's only it's
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it's only tuesday. You're absolutely right.
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I'm like, it's going well even when it's not, it's great.
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That's good. That's always good to hear.
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Actually, yeah, gotta maintain positivity because you get to decide
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that's right.
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That's absolutely right. You hear me pretty good?
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Yeah, I hear you good.
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All right, good, that's I'll have to raise the volume
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on this mic. So you weren't you weren't with us
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last week? We missed you very much. It was it
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was a hell of it. It was a hell of a show. Yeah,
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it was, it was. It was actually it was actually
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it was actually pretty crazy.
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So, well, everything is crazy.
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Yeah, work, he said he'll be here at some point.
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TG says she'll be here at some point if she can.
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So we'll see. But if if if we have to
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hold it down, we'll hold it down.
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You know how it is, Yes, we will.
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You know, you know how it is. But anything anything pressing,
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you got, you got going on, and you want to
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you know nothing, what's going on in Lady G's world.
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You don't want to know?
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Right?
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Well, well, we we actually had tons of I mean,
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the show hasn't hasn't popped off? Oh what's Oh? Well right,
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all right, all right, what up?
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Fan?
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How you doing? Bro's everything? Thanks for stopping by and
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saying what's up? Appreciate it, man, Appreciate the love. Appreciate
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the love, no doubt about it. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah,
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so we we had we had a conversation about fathers
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and mothers and kids and stuff like that and everything,
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and and what ended up happening was it got we
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got into the conversation of of why the thing was
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the topic was at that point I threw it to
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I threw it to the chat room, which was kind
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of crazy. I threw it to the chat room and
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I said, what do you guys want to talk about?
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What do you guys want to discuss it? The very
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first thing that came up was why do men cheat?
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Yo?
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It was from there it went, It went in all
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different directions. It was it was good. We were on
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for over two hours. It Oh lucky lady, g what
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up lady? Gee?
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Oh hey, hey manny, how's it going?
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Yeah, it's.
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Then don't cheat?
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Okay, Nah, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was it was
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just why why do men? Why do men? White man cheat?
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But then, but you know, if you think about it,
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you know men men don't cheat.
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Mm hm.
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I mean everybody cheats that everybody cheats, not everybody, but
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you know, it gets to the point where sometimes when
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there's no communication in the relationship, you know, and there's
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no love and affection somebody, you know, people tend to
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exactly man, he said it said it right, superman cheat.
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Well, I mean I guess that could be true, but
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you know, I've always got a different outlook on things
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like this.
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All right, So white the men cheat. White wo men cheat, men.
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Cheat because they're they have something missing in them. It's
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an insecurity for them, right, right, they cheat because they
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don't know how to communicate. They're afraid to communicate. See
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what what I have found in couples, you know, no
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matter whether it's yeah, definitely insecure amulan, but they don't
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realize it. That's the thing they're and that's with a
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lot of people. A lot of people have these insecurities
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that they don't even recognize as insecurity. Right. And the
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truth is, having been a marriage therapist for so long,
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I have seen so many different things, and so the
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thing is there's this idea that your partner is supposed
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to be the one person in the world that you
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can be vulnerable with, that you can trust. The issue
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that we're having nowadays is that people are not taking
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their time to choose. They're jumping into relationships for the
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just for the sake of having relationships. They're rushing things
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by having the intimacy quickly. And so with some people
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it's like, well, we've been intimate so and you don't
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totally get on my nerves, so maybe we should be
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together nerves you know, Like somebody asked me at work today,
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is moving in with somebody basically saying that I miss
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you more than you get on my nerves. And I
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had never really heard it that way. Uh, I never
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heard it that way before, I said, I guess, so
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I wouldn't exactly put it that way. Definitely, Natalie. We
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we have a tendency as human beings to think that
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the grass is always greener on the other side. We
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let our eyes dictate what our heart can't see.
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Uh.
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But like I said again, it's it's people are not
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taking the time anymore or to get to know somebody.
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You know, everybody's in a hurry for the physical, for
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the you know, they're not even invested in the emotional anymore. Because,
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as I've said many times, hurt people hurt people, and
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we as individuals or in this generation, in this time period,
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have been so hurt by people that we've stopped allowing
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vulnerability to be the norm. Right. We're not allowing because
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we don't want to feel those feelings of rejection, hurt, pain.
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We're allowing those hurt feelings to put up walls and
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to stop us from being vulnerable with our partners. And
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the thing is, your partner's supposed to be your best friend,
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you know, the one person in your life that you're
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supposed to be able to trust, count on, lean on,
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have peace with, not necessarily be their peace, but have
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peace with you know, grow you know, grow the piece,
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nurture the piece, you know, and and and plan with
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partner with you know. But we we've we've we've come
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away from that idea. And so what happens is because
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of the judge people that we are, we have a
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tendency to be afraid of what our partner's going to
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say about our wants, our needs and things like that.
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And yes, after a certain period of time, things do
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become stagnant, monotonous, especially when you start to have children together.
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You get so wrapped up in the every day taking
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the kids here, going to work there. You get so
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wrapped up in the everyday rigormarole that you forget that
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there was a relationship, that there was a connection, that
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there were two people that created this dynamic and we
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and we stray away from that. And so we have
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to continue to date each other. We have to continue
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to make things interesting, be that vulnerable person with that
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other person, you know, because a lot of it is
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we shy away from people's emotions, you know.
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Is it just a fible for a man to cheat
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if he isn't getting sex from his partner.
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No, it's not justifiable because it's just as much his
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responsibility to figure out why he's not getting that as
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it is for her to give it. Because, let me
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tell you something, a woman is a reflection of a man.
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She amplifies. So if if she was a certain way
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for a period of time and all of a sudden
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she's not, sometimes men need to look at themselves and say, well.
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Whoa, whoa.
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Oh no, no, no you're gonna listen. Gon't listen. Whatever
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whatever you give to a woman, she amplifies, Right, she amplifies.
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You give her love, she gives you twice as much love.
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You buy her a home, She furnishes it, and she
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fills it with love. You give her money, she takes
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that money, She makes it stretch. You give the children, right,
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she takes those children, She nurtures them, nurtures them and
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creates your family.
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Right.
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So, whatever you give to a woman, she will take
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and amplify. So if you have an issue with the
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woman not giving you something or she has kind of
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shut down, then you, as the partner, need to say,
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what am I doing? That's causing this reaction. So there's
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definitely manny what you're saying. Definitely no maturity. But at
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the same token, people are now self aware, people are
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not self aware.
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Okay, that was a continuation of what he said. H
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all right, So I get I get you, I get
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what you're saying. All right, I understand. But what what
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what I'm what I'm thinking is if if we're in
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a relationship, you know what I'm saying, and and we're
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we're we're working, we're working things out, you know, and
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something is lacking you know, I feel like if if
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the relationship is supposed to be I see, I hate
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to say relationships are fifty to fifty. The reason why
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I don't like to say that is because we're not
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always coming in at fifty to fifty, right, which means like,
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which means if if if I'm having a day, I
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come in as I come in at that's at forty.
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You know what I'm saying, and you know I would
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I would need my lady to come in at sixty
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right to help to help, you know, pick up what
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it is I'm not able to do emotionally or whatever
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it is at that point in time. Of course, I
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think I think it's it's more. It's it's more about
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communicating to each other what it is you know you
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need and and what needs to be understood about how
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that person feels when it comes to communication.
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Right, and does the other person have the capacity to
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give you that.
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And and that's and and that's that that's the big thing.
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I mean, the only way to find that out is
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is through time and through building that that love and trust,
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you know, and.
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And the communication.
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And and a man needs to be reassured himself as well.
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It's not it's not just to reassure. I mean, you
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can reassure your woe. Baby. I love you, I care
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about you. You know what I'm saying. I'm here for you.
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I'm here. You know, I'm here in the moment with you.
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You know what I'm saying. But there are times when
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when a man needs to hear those words himself as well.
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I mean, it's it's men get a bad rap, man.
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I mean, it's it's not it's not like it's not
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like it it I don't know. I just think I
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think dudes get a bad rap these days. You know
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what I'm saying. As far as not being communicative, and
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not putting there all you.
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Know, being where, but look at where that's coming from,
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where those messages are coming from.
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Man you while son yo, you've you've been with your
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l lady twenty one years? Damn son Yo, Yeah, didn't
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even think you were that old man Manny. Manny is
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a very very very good He's like he's like my
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he's like my family. We grew up in the same building.
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Friends are very very very long time. I got mad
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love for Manny and his family. He knows we go
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way back, but I didn't know. I didn't know you
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with your lady twenty one years though, So I.
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Got a question. You've been with your woman twenty one
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years and only married for nine? Why is that's there?
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You know?
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Like so, I mean that gets me because I have
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at my best friend is the same thing. She's been
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with her husband. Her daughter's twenty four, so yeah, about
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twenty two years and they've only been married for ten.
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So it's like, why why is that?
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I mean, maybe I don't know, twenty some years and
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married nine years. I mean maybe they needed to build
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more of a foundation and make sure their careers are
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correct and make sure everything was good between the both.
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Of them, I don't know, so it took eleven years
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for that, But those are no those are the types
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of things I'm saying though, Like, we have this disconnect
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and it's not about men. It's about the relationship both people,
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you know, it's about understanding what you want as a partner, right,
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being that person for someone else. You know, we've gotten
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into this thing, you know, like the whole idea of
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the fifty to fifty right, it's a nice it's a
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nice idea, but like you said, a big some days
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it's going to be sixty forty, eighty twenty, you know, Like,
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but we gotta we also have to stop counting. We
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