We Could Do This All Day! (Recorded LIVE on 6-25-24)

WEBVTT

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Yo, what's good? This big
called Young with this married podcast coming to

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you live have from I don't know
where you want me to be from where

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it is you're bringing. Lady G, Lady G. What's good? Hey,

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what's up? Long time? Yeah, it's been a long minute.

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So what's up? Man? How
you been? I'm great, you know,

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like always, I'm alive, I
worked, I got home, my

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kids are safe, I'm good.
All right, that's what's up. That's

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what's up. So all right.
So doub is supposed to be as soon

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he said, he's gonna be here, you know how he is. We'll

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see what's up when he gets here. But I want, yeah, I

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know, I wanted to to actually
ask you because the last episode you you

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you know, you weren't you weren't
here, so we I don't know if

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you watched it or not. But
we talked about the idea of what what

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people thought about the topic of friends
with benefits and what does it mean to

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certain people because certain people look at
it differently. What does what does what

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does a friends with benefit situation mean
to you? Well, my understanding of

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friends with benefits is basically having a
relationship or at least doing things together that

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you would do in a relationship without
the strings attached, you know, being

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able to see who you want still
do whatever you want. But you have

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somebody that when when you feel like
you you want to be physical, you

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want to have all that, you
can get together, do what you gotta

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do and then kind of go your
own way type thing. So it's the

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reality is I don't think that there's
really that there's really a friendship. I

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think it's just you're subconsciously agreeing that, hey, when I want to have

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sex, when I want to,
you know, do whatever, I'll hit

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you up. You're down, you're
not down, and then we just keep

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it moving. So to me,
it's very you know, it's just very

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casual, very you know. But
some people have more than one where I

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actually, I actually think it it
was intended as a safety measure, I

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think, But I don't know because
I'm not the one that created it.

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So, but I would think I
would think friends with benefits should be,

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you know, if you're going down
that road, it should be basically saying

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I don't want to be in a
relationship, or I'm not ready for a

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relationship, or I'm not in a
relationship, but I possibly have needs,

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and instead of sleeping with everybody and
their mom, I'd like to have just

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this one person to kind of be
I guess in a certain way monogamous with.

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You know, so if you're not
doing nothing, and I'm not doing

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nothing, I'd rather be doing it
with just one person instead of everybody.

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Okay, I know that that was
that was the long wind did answer?

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I'm sorry, No, that's not
that that that I wanted. I wanted

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I wanted to take on it because
last week we had this big, just

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big to do about it. You
know what I'm saying. We see my

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opinion, this is this is my
opinion. All right, I'm throwing my

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hands up. This is my opinion. I don't think I don't think of

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friends with benefits situation is is any
because we were talking about how how feelings

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get involved at some point, Oh
yeah, well if you if you're talking

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about that, like I, I
think of friends with benefits is not good.

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It's not productive. It gets people
hurt. Absolutely, That's that's my

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opinion on it. I'm saying.
I mean, I was saying that if

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you got involved with someone in that
type of situation, how can you how

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can you actually do things physically with
someone and not have any kind of feeling

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for them, not not just feeling
for them, but feel feeling in the

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situation itself. You know what I'm
saying, I mean, how can you

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hold on dubs? Just yeah,
just let me get him in there.

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No, he's going all right,
So I know, he just disappeared.

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Nothing new, nothing new. How
do you How do you go ahead and

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have that kind of relationship with someone
and not catch a feeling? How can

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you? How can you have how
can you do the sexual act with someone

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and not have any kind of feeling? You know what I'm saying, Like,

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isn't that kind of like? Oh
that I totally totally agree with you.

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Big. My thing is somebody is
going to feel something. I mean,

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usually, you know, because we
are a little bit more emotional and

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detail oriented. Usually it's the lady
Hello, Simon Phoenix. Okay, oh

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god, we gotta we gotta,
we gotta them. So Amanda says,

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sometimes one person could fall in love
and the other won't. It could turn

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out bad. Yeah, okay,
so look at it this way. Okay,

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So just just an example, right, So the people are doing their

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thing, and more times than not, the woman starts to have feelings about

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it. First she Depending on who
the person is, it could be either

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one. It starts to make them
feel cheap, you know, like,

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why why am I doing this?
Because when I'm with this person, whether

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it's for them or not, I'm
feeling an emotion, I'm feeling connected,

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I'm feeling you know, like like
this is something more than just casual fun,

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you know, like, and so
then it turns into even ruining what

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may have been a close friendship or
could have potentially been a good friendship,

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because it's like, now I'm doing
something with you that I wouldn't do with

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friends, and I have these feelings, and clearly you don't have these feelings.

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So now it just hurts me to
talk to you, It hurts me

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to think about you, it hurts
me to be around you to Yeah,

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but that's okay. So for me, it's like, that's that's where we've

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gone wrong, right, We've made
the intimate casual, We've made the important

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unimportant. Why, you know,
like those things were meant for relationships,

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Those things were meant for connection,
for intimacy. And the funny thing is,

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if you keep going around giving pieces
of yourself to people, just for

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the sake of satiating a momentary need. Then you find yourself empty because again

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you just keep giving. And even
if it's just one person, you keep

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giving one of the most sacred pieces
of yourself to someone who has no intention.

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Like Bob Marley said, any man
who awakens the fire of love and

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a woman without the intention of fanning
it, you know, is a coward.

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You know. So somebody can't not
catch feeling. And then and then

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the excuse of well I told you
what it was when we started. That

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doesn't excuse anything. Thank you,
deb thank you so much for a grand

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with me. Yeah. But yeah, you know what if you guys discuss

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that, you know, from the
beginning, from the jump, you know,

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like done, it's still happening.
Yeah. But whether you discuss it

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from the jump or not, the
point is that's where we as a society

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is going wrong. Right. So, and something I noticed and and you

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know other people are speaking on it
too. Everybody wants or it says that

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they want to find a partner who
is loyal, who is loving, Like

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everybody says they're looking for somebody.
Well, the thing is, how can

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you really find somebody who's going to
be honest, loyal loving. If we're

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becoming a society that's making that honesty, that loyalty something to just be given

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away to everybody, then that doesn't
make you special anymore, because honestly,

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in my life, I want to
be the choice, not one of the

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options. Absolutely thought I was on
a sneeze. That's why I was like,

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yeah, you know what real quick? No, I asked. I

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asked because I was telling Lady G
about my conversation last last episode, and

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I wanted to hear her take on
it right quick. That's what we're speaking

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on it. It's just hurtful.
Somebody always gets hurt. Yeah, well,

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I mean like like like yo,
that's just how it is nowadays.

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You know what I'm saying. You
don't keep getting hurt till you don't get

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hurt until like you know, and
you know, and and and the th

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and the funny thing about it is
that when you need expect that person comes

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around, and it's always when you're
not ready. It's gonna make yourself be

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available. What do you mean one
when the right person comes around, it's

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always when you're not looking right right? You know what I'm saying, Like,

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it's always that way. But okay, always, I know, I

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know you. Some people may not
agree, but it's about respect. You

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always disagree with me, doves,
and that's okay. That's why I love

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you. It's about self respect.
It's about that wing. No, no,

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it's about the valuing yourself and the
other person. It's about hour and

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tea, bagging, spinning in the
mouth, all that disgusting ship. Oh

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yeah, I guess it's all about
that. It's all about the donkey punch,

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you know what I'm saying. Take
that, it's all about the month

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diving. Take that. Yes,
but all that, all of that,

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even though it might be about all
of that, I'm down with all that,

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but with someone who loves me,
someone who deserves that, somebody who's

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doing the work that it takes to
get that. All right, all society,

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I mean like, like, you
know what, I feel what you're

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saying. But like, but I'm
gonna say, there's a butt. It's

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this thing called social media, right
where everyone's trying to you know what I'm

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saying, Like the good thing the
thing about social media that everyone could fabricate

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who they are on that right,
but they also forget that, you know,

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there's people that's on social media knows
who the real person is, so

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they try to front of advocate,
you know, they live out a little

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fantasy and put themselves a little higher. Again, I can do all that.

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It's called yeah, yeah, you
know what. You know what I'm

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saying. And I'm like, I'm
like, put on you know what I'm

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saying, a little fantasy and whatever, right, neive role playing. Man,

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It's like it's a straight up line
to somebody. Right, you're doing

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all that extra shit only if you
get jammed up anyways, you know,

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because at the end of the day, I mean, you know that she

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happens that one. Yeah, but
when we make it commonplace, we're part

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of the problem and not the solution. I've always been the problem, So

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I mean, you know what,
but you but whether you're the problem or

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not, you have a relation and
ship, you have a beautiful child.

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You have something, whether you're happy
with it or not, you have something

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that's no. No, first off, I'm in a very good spot.

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No, that's great, that's great. But I'm just talking about it.

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But but but but you know what
I talked low because I don't need you

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know, I don't need that,
man. I don't need that in my

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life right now. Yeah. You
know, like I'm like, like,

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you know what I'm actually I'm actually
joining a thing called peace. You know

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what I'm saying because like you know
what, because you know beforehand, you

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know, it wasn't even about peace. It was just trying to get a

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piece of what I can give,
right. You know what I'm saying is

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I don't know, I don't want
I don't want used meat. You know,

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like look at our age, Joe. We all used me, every

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one of us, hello, bro, Like like yo, I didn't get

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that statement like like like like yo, like like like first off, you

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know what I'm saying, Like like
like what do you think? You know

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what I'm saying. You know what
I'm saying, You're gonna go to you

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know what I'm saying, Yo,
We're picture this way right we're at you

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know, we're all laid out.
I don't mean is block but use like

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all I mean we're all beat up
and we're all used cars. Yeah yeah,

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but you know what I'm saying.
We got milage, but we got

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milage. But look, it's a
choice between a certified used car and just

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a corner lock car. Oh you
got a point. That's a good point.

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So you're looking for a used card. I had sixty five thousand miles

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on it rather than thirty one thousand
miles. That's what it is. If

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if that persons not giving it out
to everybody, he can have two hundred

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thousand miles on him. I don't
care. I just don't want him to

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have six six president Yo, trust
me, you know what I'm saying.

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What you're talking about is a ninety
three hundred. That's what you're talking about.

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Six owners ship. Look, man, it's it's like it's like this,

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It's like this the ultimate Ultimately what
ends up happening is someone catches feelings

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and the other one is not down, and someone always ends up getting hurt

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in this situation. Definitely. See
that's the reason why so so so like

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my my solution is prostitution. You
don't pay them to you pay them to

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leave. It's the only way.
No one gives you give me money then,

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so it's like except but the friend
basically he said E B T card

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guard. Well, I said,
those just came out where I live for

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the summer. Damn where you live
at I live southam Top, Jersey.

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For all the kids for all the
kids families at the school, at the

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local school who get free or reduce
lunch, they actually get one hundred and

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twenty dollars to feed their kids for
the summer. I mean on your one

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hundred and twenty dollars. Yeah,
I know, I was getting ready to

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say it. As grateful as I
am. One hundred and twenty dollars.

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My kid eats that in two days
and they give it to you for the

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whole summer. I'm like, okay, So, so you know what,

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here's what you do with one hundred
and twenty, right, You take it

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out. You go see Paco down
there in Camden. You know what I'm

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saying. You get on that flip
it and keep flipping it and flipping it.

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And by the time you know you'll
be good for saying for back to

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school, you're a mess. It
turned up so to subject. He was

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you know what I'm saying, He
was my favorite for that, you know,

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just around Lady for President. That's
hilarious, yeah, man, because

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you know, at the end of
the day, I see it this way,

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as convenient as it is, and
this is my personal feeling. You

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know, this is like about me
as a person. Mm hmmm. One,

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there's a there's a saying, okay
in Spanish that isla, you're better

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being alone than being with bad company, and being with bad company, right,

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And because the thing is, if
I want to be hurt and miserable

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00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:59.960
and lonely, I can do that
all by myself. I don't need someone

205
00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:04.119
one to do that. And as
far as the physical stuff, everybody has

206
00:20:04.200 --> 00:20:08.720
needs blah blah blah blah blah.
Yeah, but it's also called what is

207
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:15.160
your purpose? Where where is your
self control? Right? Hey, look

208
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:18.920
you women have them toys, bro, Like you know what I'm saying,

209
00:20:18.920 --> 00:20:22.720
like, yeah, I don't even
nobody do that for me. Bro.

210
00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.720
It's like, yo, you know
what, Yo, you know what?

211
00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:29.640
You know what? You guys got
this thing called the drug. The drug

212
00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:33.000
Master of six thousand looks like a
jackaver Oh said like I don't know,

213
00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:37.039
I'm just talking ship, but yeah, but yo, you know we got

214
00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:44.480
flash flights and fake bodies and all
that, and we got porn. And

215
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.359
see the thing is, we got
porn hub in our hand. Because you

216
00:20:47.359 --> 00:20:49.920
know what, my hand can't get
me pregnant. My hand can't get pregnant.

217
00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:55.319
Right, Look, tell you something. Let me tell you some Let

218
00:20:55.359 --> 00:21:00.960
me tell you something I don't.
I'm not. I'm not a big believer

219
00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:08.319
in in the friends with benefit situation. Oh no, oh wow, I

220
00:21:08.359 --> 00:21:12.119
don't. I don't know. You
know what? You know what? You

221
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:17.359
know what, You're a liar.
I'm gonna tell you why, because back

222
00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:21.319
then, all of us was believed
in friends with benefits situations. The thing

223
00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:23.400
is, we don't believe in it
now because you know what, this ship

224
00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:29.799
gets messier than a ninth month abortion. You know what I'm saying, It

225
00:21:29.880 --> 00:21:33.920
gets real messy. You know,
so everyone, you know, everyone believed

226
00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:38.480
in the friends of benefit until it
didn't benefit them no more. Yeah,

227
00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:42.160
yeah, you know, Like yo, you know what we're you know what

228
00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:45.400
I'm saying. We know we passed
that. You know what I'm saying that

229
00:21:45.400 --> 00:21:48.480
I heard the word having having friends
with benefits, just like you know what

230
00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:52.400
I'm saying for that, You know
what I'm saying, like you just it

231
00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:53.200
don't benefit none of us. You
know what I'm saying for that? You

232
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:56.200
know what I mean? Like like, you know what I'm saying, like

233
00:21:56.440 --> 00:21:59.319
you go down and freaking on one
ane to just pick up you know what

234
00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:02.400
I'm saying, pick up a crack
you know what I'm saying, or toothless

235
00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:03.759
horr or whatever, and just be
like, yo, you know what I'm

236
00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:07.160
not gonna you know what I'm saying, I don't want to conversate. Just

237
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:08.400
give me my twenty minutes worth of
time or whatever, and that's it.

238
00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:11.160
You know what I'm saying, And
you'll be lucky I give you twenty minutes

239
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:15.000
the way I feel right now,
probably three who cares. You know what

240
00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:18.880
I'm saying. It's money well spent
for you. I mean, it's money

241
00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:21.599
will earn for you, money spent
for me. You know what I'm saying.

242
00:22:21.640 --> 00:22:22.960
I may look in the mirror and
be like the fuck have I done

243
00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:26.839
with my life? But whatever,
you know what I'm saying, Because like

244
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:27.880
having a friends with benefits, man, you know what I'm saying, that

245
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.039
you're just gonna be You're just gonna
be busting meaningless nuts. Yeah, that

246
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:40.440
feels that that that that you know
what it feels, and that you know

247
00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:41.799
what it feels good for the moment, and then you walk to the bathroom,

248
00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:45.279
you look in the mirror like what
am I doing my life? Like

249
00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:49.240
having friends of benefits like they're equivalent
the dumpster diving for a bit or now

250
00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:53.680
you know what I'm saying, that's
IM and that's my age showing. Bro.

251
00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:56.240
You know what I'm saying. Behind
this content, you have this conversation

252
00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:02.079
that ten fifeen years later. Yo, you know what the upside to it

253
00:23:02.119 --> 00:23:03.319
was like, Yo, you know
what, it's on call, it's on

254
00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:07.519
site and that's it. Like I
ain't gotta like you know, you know,

255
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:07.960
I could just like you know what
I'm saying, Like I don't have

256
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:11.519
to take you to Ruth and Chris. I could just supersize your your happy

257
00:23:11.559 --> 00:23:17.400
meal and that's it and beyond my
way, you know, like ten fifteen

258
00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:21.039
years ago, that's what it was. Everyone satisfied, everyone happy, everyone

259
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:26.400
moving on. But somebody, you
know what I'm saying, catches emotions and

260
00:23:27.480 --> 00:23:33.720
and and surprisingly and surprisingly, believe
it or not, it'd be the man.

261
00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:36.160
Hell, it'd be the man catching
the motions. But you know what,

262
00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:40.480
we don't be saying this shit.
It'll be hushed about it, right,

263
00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:42.079
So you know what I'm saying.
So so like you know what I

264
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:45.000
mean, because it's like it's like, yo, you know what, how

265
00:23:45.240 --> 00:23:48.319
you know what I'm saying. It's
like, oh, I fucked up.

266
00:23:48.839 --> 00:23:53.000
How am I supposed to dictate the
situation. But I'm letting my dictate my

267
00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:57.279
I'm letting my dig dictate my heart. Do I love her? Or do

268
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:06.759
I love what I'm getting myself in? Right? Yeah? Exactly? You

269
00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:07.839
know what I'm saying, Like do
I love the woman or do I love

270
00:24:07.880 --> 00:24:11.039
the pussy that's attached to the woman? Excuse me my life, But this

271
00:24:11.079 --> 00:24:15.559
is how it's going to get because
like that's what that friends with benefit situation

272
00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:18.960
is, you know, Like and
then like you know what I'm saying,

273
00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:22.200
Like you catch yourself vibe with the
girl more and it's like, yeah,

274
00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:26.359
what I from you Ben? You
know what I'm saying, But like but

275
00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:29.480
like you know what, you don't
want to go back on your word because

276
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:37.880
if you do, but we you
know what I'm saying in the same place

277
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:41.960
the first off, you know what
I'm saying. If you want to know

278
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:45.519
what you know but you just don't
know because you're you know what, you

279
00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:49.880
probably know the secret whatever we're not
like you know what, Like you guys

280
00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:53.680
know that you guys know how to
how to handle rejection a lot better than

281
00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:56.559
us men do. Yes, you
know what I'm saying. These guys.

282
00:24:56.599 --> 00:25:00.480
You know what I'm saying, You
guys don't how to separate rejection from from

283
00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:06.039
you know, pride. Rejection hurts
our pride and our ego, so it's

284
00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:08.319
like it's intertwined with each other.
So like that's the reason why, like

285
00:25:08.359 --> 00:25:15.680
you know, like you know,
like your emotion and you turn off your

286
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:19.359
heart and you just don't, I
don't turn off but everything else there.

287
00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:22.160
Yeah, but you know what though, at the end of the day,

288
00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:26.200
it's still it's still it's still a
l It's still a lost because what it

289
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:30.559
is because you know what, because
down the road you're going, you know

290
00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:33.640
what I'm saying, the dude catches
feelings for the girl. Anyways, Well,

291
00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:37.039
let's talk about the more serious issue, right Anyways, they catch you

292
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:41.359
know what I'm saying. You're doing
a friends with benefits thing and one of

293
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:45.440
you gets something. Right now,
you're passing it on to somebody who you

294
00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:52.640
have no intention or they have no
intention of caring for each other when they

295
00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:59.039
get sick. So now what just
for a momentary feeling good? Now the

296
00:25:59.079 --> 00:26:03.640
rest of your life is impacted and
you can't be with nobody because who in

297
00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:11.039
their right mind wants to be with
somebody who has sexually transmitted diseases or fatal

298
00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:15.319
illness. Yeah, STDs are more
the diseases man, Like, Like,

299
00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:18.000
yo, you know what't want that
I learned? Man, Like you know,

300
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:22.440
have you ever hold up real quick? Have you ever been you know

301
00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:26.079
what I'm saying, messling with someone
that was like so negative and like like

302
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:30.079
just off the wall. Oh yeah, you know, and then like you

303
00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:32.559
know what I'm saying, like you
mess with them so long or whatever that

304
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:34.440
you feel connected to them in the
wrong way, Like you know what I'm

305
00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:37.960
saying, Like like you know what
I'm saying, like exactly, you know

306
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:41.519
what I'm saying. You know STD. You know what I'm saying, sexually

307
00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:47.599
transmitted disease, spiritually trans even which
way it works, either which way it

308
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:49.559
works, you know what I'm saying, that's how that works, because Yo,

309
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:53.359
you know what, I've been with
someone that was like so toxic or

310
00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:56.319
like you know what I'm saying,
I became toxic myself, you know,

311
00:26:56.440 --> 00:27:00.559
like like like you know what,
like like you know what, like it's

312
00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:03.359
a spiritual minded thing like like yo, you know what's you know, Like

313
00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:07.279
as I got older, I realized
that sex is different, man, like

314
00:27:07.720 --> 00:27:08.559
it's not only getting your nutted,
you know what I'm saying, Like,

315
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:12.119
you're actually connected with the person on
the sproke to low. So if the

316
00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:15.319
person is toxic, you know what
I'm saying, Like, Yo, you

317
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.759
know what, Like her bodies are
your bodies too? Now? Right?

318
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:27.079
Like my body sexually transmitted toxic spiritually
transmitted disease. That's what I'm trying to

319
00:27:27.079 --> 00:27:30.359
say, Like like, yo,
you know what. For instance, you

320
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:32.559
know what I'm saying, if I
have a body count of one thirty,

321
00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:34.440
she has a body count of fifty. You know what I'm saying, she

322
00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:37.759
stepped one hundred and thirty. You
know what I'm saying, Yo, you

323
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:41.759
know what she had just stepped so
so now like we're so now you know

324
00:27:41.759 --> 00:27:42.319
what I'm saying, I just passed
her one hundred and thirty, you know

325
00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:45.519
what I'm saying, moments and she
passed me fifty at home moments. You

326
00:27:45.559 --> 00:27:48.440
know what I'm saying, that's one
hundred and eighty. That's a mix up

327
00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:52.640
of a lot of things that you
know, like it affects your behavior,

328
00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:57.759
believe it or not, you know, like it really does. Transmitted toxicity

329
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:07.200
spiritually transmitted disease too exactly. Spirit, whether people want to admit it or

330
00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:15.960
not. Contact intimacy in any physical
way deals with your spirit. And like

331
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:22.960
I said, who wants to continuously
give pieces of your spirit away to the

332
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:27.559
point where you ain't gonna have nothing
left just to occupy a void that you

333
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:33.279
won't deal with because a lot of
that has to do with feeling void,

334
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:38.240
that loneliness that you know, like
connection to people. But we spend so

335
00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:45.920
much time just again casually giving that
to fill this void instead of actually looking

336
00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:53.519
for the quality person who's going to
fill the void? All question question real

337
00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:57.039
quick, you know, And to
bring this up since we're on the subject,

338
00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:03.160
you know, porn actress, you
know, porn stars mainly more porn

339
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:07.720
actresses are more prone to depression over
you know, saying drug ob a suicide

340
00:29:07.759 --> 00:29:12.200
because of that ship? Yes,
is, yeah, it is, it

341
00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:15.359
is. It is honestly. You
know, Like like me, I may

342
00:29:15.480 --> 00:29:18.359
joke around and I mean, you
know what I'm saying, me talk my

343
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:19.599
ship, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, you know,

344
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:22.559
I try to calm down because I
don't need a frying panel over my head

345
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:27.880
at six in the morning. But
let's either here or there, right but

346
00:29:27.960 --> 00:29:30.839
in realness, you know, like
I just you know, on the back

347
00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:34.119
of your head. Nah, man, it's a lump on the face.

348
00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:36.920
You know what I'm saying, Like
like, you know, thank god I'm

349
00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:38.599
by Timblands man, because you know
what I'm saying. Like, Yah,

350
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:41.079
she threatened me. Man, She
was like, yo, talk stick,

351
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:44.480
You'll be wearing these tread marks in
the morning. I was like, yes,

352
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:48.799
I master, yes, and you
know nah, but like but but

353
00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:51.720
like you know what I'm saying,
like in all realness, like that's why

354
00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:56.319
I'd rather be with one person that
now. Now I'm saying this now because

355
00:29:56.359 --> 00:29:57.599
like, yo, you know what
ten years ago, it wasn't always that

356
00:29:57.640 --> 00:30:02.079
way. Nah, I just did
not care. I did not you know,

357
00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:04.039
like like you know what give it
take? Ten years ago, like

358
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.559
I want you know what I'm saying. I was like, all right,

359
00:30:06.599 --> 00:30:08.720
man, I'm done playing the field. But karma was getting the best of

360
00:30:08.759 --> 00:30:15.680
me, right, is the biggest
for all my dirt, for all my

361
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.799
dirt I did in the twenties and
my twenties, whether it was you know

362
00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:22.240
what I'm saying, whether you know
what I'm saying randomly like let's just say,

363
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:25.759
walked up to someone to snuff him
just because I was drunk and I

364
00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:27.319
could do it, you know what
I'm saying, or try to take their

365
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:32.039
shit or whatever or whatever. Girl
I heard in my twenties when I decided,

366
00:30:32.119 --> 00:30:34.640
like when I decided to like you
know, get out the left flane

367
00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:38.519
from doing one hundred and fifty to
like doing seventy five. Yeah, everything

368
00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:41.559
caught up. You know what I'm
saying. Everything caught up back to back

369
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:47.240
to back, you know. And
you know what and and you know what,

370
00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:48.839
like I told, you know what
I'm saying, called the arm I'm

371
00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:49.359
like, yo, you know what, this is my karma, bro,

372
00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:52.400
you know what I'm saying. Like
I was like, yeah, I'll complain

373
00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:55.039
about it. You know what I'm
saying, Like I was heard about it,

374
00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:56.920
but I always tell them, I'm
like, yo, and this is

375
00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:59.240
for all the foul should I've done, you know. And I know that

376
00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:03.279
and I accepted for what it is, right, you know, Like like

377
00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:08.039
you know what I'm saying, because
like the the definitionship insanities keep doing the

378
00:31:08.039 --> 00:31:11.720
same things over and over again,
expected the same results. You know.

379
00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:15.000
Oh oh yeah, true, you
know what I'm saying. But you get

380
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:17.640
to say, my band sorry,
you're right, you know, like how

381
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:22.119
like how America does things in the
world, doing the same ship expected different

382
00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:27.759
results insanity right now, you know, like I believe that, yol.

383
00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:33.480
You know what if you're getting played
because I've done a lot of playing and

384
00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:37.920
I got played, right, that
shit hurt, you know, not once,

385
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:41.920
but twice back to back. I'm
like, damn, you know what

386
00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:45.880
I'm saying, Like, yeah,
nah, yo, you know what?

387
00:31:47.079 --> 00:31:48.759
You know what I'm saying. I
was like, Yo, that's fucked up

388
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.240
this that and the third you know, like like you know, like like

389
00:31:51.319 --> 00:31:52.079
I was going to go off and
playing victim, but I was like,

390
00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:55.319
yo, you know what, I
had this ship coming either which way.

391
00:31:55.319 --> 00:31:57.319
I just gotta yeah, you know
what, like like you know what,

392
00:31:57.480 --> 00:32:00.480
like and the thing is, you
know what I'm saying. I was actually

393
00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:04.000
faithful. Well, I mean the
first one, you know, when I

394
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:05.799
found out she was shooting, I
mean, I just want to you know,

395
00:32:05.839 --> 00:32:07.720
buck wild, and I didn't care
about get caught. The second one,

396
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:09.920
I was like, Yo, you
know what, I'm gonna do this

397
00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:14.759
that and the third and lest thing
you know what I'm leaving you. I'm

398
00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:17.960
like, wait what you know,
like I'm talking to somebody else I'm leaving

399
00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:23.079
you after five years, I'm like, wow, you know what I'm saying,

400
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:27.599
Like, Yo, that's that that
part right there, Like rip me

401
00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:30.680
more because it wasn't. It wasn't
on no argument, it was awesome.

402
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:35.480
They're good, but like, yo, you know what, I don't see

403
00:32:35.480 --> 00:32:38.839
this going any further because you got
too much going on. Right after five

404
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:45.599
years, and I'm like, you
know what I'm saying, Like like,

405
00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:47.319
you know what I'm saying, Like
it was almost as if I was being

406
00:32:47.319 --> 00:32:51.200
stabbed in my heart in the kindest
way of and there was nothing I can

407
00:32:51.240 --> 00:32:54.680
say about that. I was like, you know what I'm saying, Like

408
00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:58.319
like that, yo, that should
hurt more than anything, you know what

409
00:32:58.359 --> 00:33:00.440
I'm saying. But but you know, like I said, you know what,

410
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:06.440
I deserved that because of all the
foulshit that I've done in my life.

411
00:33:07.359 --> 00:33:08.079
You know what I'm saying, Like
that, just when I thought it

412
00:33:08.119 --> 00:33:12.720
was safe, I thought I was
safe, I wasn't safe, right,

413
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:16.279
you know, I wasn't safe at
all. Now I could have easily,

414
00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:19.519
you know what I'm saying, got
back You know what I'm saying, you

415
00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:22.599
know, like got back on my
you know what I'm saying my dumb shit

416
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:25.279
and started like you know what I'm
saying, like hitting you know what I'm

417
00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:28.839
saying, hitting the field and playing
these you know what I'm saying, playing

418
00:33:28.839 --> 00:33:31.960
these childish games with these women or
whatever, and not look at the fact

419
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:37.799
that you know what all of this
was karma. You know what I'm saying,

420
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:40.200
coming back to bite me in my
ass because you know what, you

421
00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:43.400
know how they say the way you
got them is the way they leave.

422
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:46.839
You know what I'm saying exactly.
You know what I went. I went

423
00:33:46.920 --> 00:33:52.799
and violated related a marriage. I
violated a marriage and I knew what I

424
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:55.000
was doing, but I didn't care. But then, like a dumb mass,

425
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.599
I end up catching feelings. You
know what I'm saying, This person

426
00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:01.640
got to do voice and you know
I'm here thinking that, Yo, you

427
00:34:01.640 --> 00:34:07.000
know what things happened. You know
this stand the third and the way how

428
00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:10.159
she came is the way she left. Yeah, I deserved that though,

429
00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:15.519
you know what I'm saying, I
deserve that. It hurt like a motherfucker,

430
00:34:15.559 --> 00:34:17.599
but I deserve that. I'm not
gonna get you know, like,

431
00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:22.159
I ain't gonna be like no,
man, you know what I'm saying like,

432
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:27.440
yo, you know what, I
deserve every part of that because you

433
00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:30.079
know what, like if I was
you know what I'm saying, if I

434
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:34.679
was thinking and not let my think
for me, I would have known the

435
00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:37.119
violating this relationship was wrong as well. But I didn't care, you know

436
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:40.559
what I'm saying. It was a
challenge. I didn't care about moment's feins

437
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:46.320
until my folings got hurt, exactly. And see that's the thing with everything,

438
00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:52.559
not even just this subject right here, but with anything, everything is

439
00:34:52.760 --> 00:35:00.440
copathetic until it happens to you,
right exactly. So it's like I get

440
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:06.480
into this a lot, like was
my line of work and whatnot, people

441
00:35:06.519 --> 00:35:09.719
who come to me for like d
u y s or you know, just

442
00:35:09.760 --> 00:35:14.400
any kind of driving under the influence, like that's that's one. That's just

443
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:17.920
one where they're like, oh,
but I only had one, you know,

444
00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:22.000
I was, hey, you know
what, speaking of duys, speaking

445
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:28.159
of d u y s. Right, I had one. But look,

446
00:35:29.239 --> 00:35:31.840
you know what, but that du
y. You know what I'm saying,

447
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:36.639
My bad for cutting you off because
you said duys. And I'm probably I'm

448
00:35:36.679 --> 00:35:39.119
probably sure that you're not going to
have this. You know, it's probably

449
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:44.440
rare it comes out from a person's
mouth. Okay, that du why.

450
00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:45.599
That was the first time I ever
got the rest of it. I felt

451
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:49.519
embarrassed, you know what I'm saying. I felt the shame, you know

452
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:51.440
what I'm saying. I was like, Yo, I'm in my forties,

453
00:35:51.480 --> 00:35:54.840
bro, what the fuck am I
doing? You know? And like and

454
00:35:55.000 --> 00:36:00.199
like, you know what, like
and mind you they almost witness like I

455
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:04.119
used to knock it back. Yo, may just stay over now, man,

456
00:36:04.159 --> 00:36:09.400
I'm good, I got it I'm
talking about Yeah, exactly exactly.

457
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:13.239
I used to not I used to
knock it back. But that do you

458
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:16.320
why? Right? Because like it
made me realize. I'm like, you

459
00:36:16.360 --> 00:36:22.239
know what, I'm glad this happened
now because like, if I would have

460
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:22.760
got you know, I'm saying,
if I would have got away with this

461
00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:27.280
one the phone, I would have
been doing the same shit again, I

462
00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:30.559
probably would have killed somebody. Yeah. So that's that's kind of what I

463
00:36:30.639 --> 00:36:32.840
was getting to. It's like,
so people say, well, I know

464
00:36:34.039 --> 00:36:37.840
how to I know when i'm good, I know when I'm not good.

465
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:44.880
The truth of the matter is any
substance just one take one toke, one

466
00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:51.440
puff, one drink, you know, all of that does affect your reflexes,

467
00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:57.199
your motor skills. We just don't
realize it because we don't feel you

468
00:36:57.239 --> 00:37:02.599
know, because when we think problem, we imagine the old guys on the

469
00:37:02.679 --> 00:37:07.400
corner with the paper bags who can't
stand straight. You know, No,

470
00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:10.119
you don't have to look like that
to have an issue. But the thing

471
00:37:10.199 --> 00:37:15.559
is, you're okay enough after this
one drink to get in your car and

472
00:37:15.719 --> 00:37:22.360
drive home because you've done it so
many times and everything's been good. But

473
00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:28.239
then, heaven forbid, somebody else
thinks that and they hurt somebody you love.

474
00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:31.559
All of a sudden, it's an
issue. So why is it okay

475
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:36.840
for you to do it and put
other people's life in danger, but it's

476
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:38.400
not okay for somebody else to do
it? Well, you know what,

477
00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:42.360
Like I used to be like,
yo, if I don't drink a job,

478
00:37:42.440 --> 00:37:45.239
how fuck am I going to get
home? You know, like,

479
00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:46.960
like you know what, I'll give
myself excuses like, well, anything is

480
00:37:47.039 --> 00:37:52.159
legal till you get caught, right, exactly know. And again, as

481
00:37:52.199 --> 00:37:59.000
a society, we have made so
much excuses. Yeah, excuses, that's

482
00:37:59.039 --> 00:38:04.719
a big one. You know.
We haven't been such important things so unimportant

483
00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:09.159
anymore. And so then now we
live in the society where nobody wants to

484
00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:15.400
put themselves out there for real because
they've been hurt so many times. But

485
00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:19.000
again we're also know what the thing
is too. The thing is too you

486
00:38:19.239 --> 00:38:23.280
like there's more human brongs than there
is human rights. M hm. You

487
00:38:23.320 --> 00:38:28.360
know. So it's like so it's
like, you know, like I said

488
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:32.719
with when you know, you know, when my experience with my DUI like,

489
00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:36.039
like there was one time, like
I was like an hour away from

490
00:38:36.039 --> 00:38:38.119
home. I left that three I
left that Versus house at three am,

491
00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:43.639
drunk and Ship. I didn't even
know how I got home. The only

492
00:38:43.719 --> 00:38:45.760
thing I know is that, you
know, it was seven in the morning.

493
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:47.440
I woke up and my car is
parked, and I'm like, holy

494
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:50.880
shit, you know what I'm saying. I woke up at seven in the

495
00:38:50.880 --> 00:38:55.239
morning and Ship. Now I see
the thing is you know what I'm saying,

496
00:38:55.239 --> 00:38:57.480
I could have hit it. You
know what I'm saying. From where

497
00:38:57.480 --> 00:39:00.199
I was coming from, I could
have hit it there. You know I

498
00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:01.559
could have you know what I'm saying, I could have swerved off the road.

499
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:07.199
I wouldn't know, right, there
was too many instances where I believe,

500
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:10.000
like you know what I mean,
Like I was giving chances to like,

501
00:39:12.199 --> 00:39:15.400
you know, we get it together
at least, and kept you know,

502
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:17.599
I kept on, you know,
I kept on, like you know,

503
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:22.320
like doing what I do. And
yeah, you know, I kept

504
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:24.519
on like you know, trying to
push the envelope and boom and see the

505
00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:27.679
thing is, you know what I'm
saying. The funniest thing about my dee

506
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:30.800
why is that I did not get
caught on the road. I got caught

507
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:34.599
because I was sleeping in the car
next next to My parents are on top

508
00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:39.679
of that right right, you know, because like I allegedly like tapped the

509
00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:43.800
car and the stuff, I level
parking line just like left and whatever.

510
00:39:43.960 --> 00:39:45.800
And I don't know how I got
home from there, Like I just don't

511
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:51.119
remember nothing. The only thing I
remember is that, you know, like

512
00:39:51.199 --> 00:39:53.480
I kind of remember driving up like
when a hoboken or whatever. I found

513
00:39:53.559 --> 00:39:57.599
parking, I was going to like
leave the car, but like something,

514
00:39:57.800 --> 00:40:00.679
but like you know what, like
whatever I was doing that day, because

515
00:40:00.679 --> 00:40:05.679
I was doing a lot. I
was doing drinking and you know, other

516
00:40:05.719 --> 00:40:08.519
things got involved too, you know, and and looking back at it is

517
00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:13.920
because I was still mourning my brother
you know, like like you know,

518
00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:15.440
like it was like other things compounded. But like I was thinking about my

519
00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:20.119
brother when I woke up and I
said, you know what, I want

520
00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:22.119
to numb this ship. Like you
know what I'm saying, Like that was

521
00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:25.239
always like my goal to like liquor. Then what I became with it came

522
00:40:25.320 --> 00:40:30.360
with it and from that lesson learned, you know, like first off,

523
00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:34.239
I want to thank God because I've
been like three years ober, right,

524
00:40:34.440 --> 00:40:39.639
But that lesson learned was like the
lesson learned was like you know, thank

525
00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:43.760
you, yeah, and you know
what I can't you know what like everyone

526
00:40:43.880 --> 00:40:45.039
you know what I'm saying, Like
if it wasn't if it wasn't a lot

527
00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:47.280
of prayer, you know what I'm
saying, There wasn't for a lot of

528
00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:50.360
prayer, you know what I'm saying. Like there's been times when I was

529
00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:52.159
stressed out, Like you know,
sometimes I'm like yelling what I think I

530
00:40:52.199 --> 00:40:55.519
want to shot? You know,
I can't have a shot, you know,

531
00:40:55.639 --> 00:40:59.039
Like I tell, I tell myself, you know what, you can't

532
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:02.480
have no wine, no share,
pain, no nothing, nothing, no,

533
00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:07.159
you know, because like that would
that you know what I'm saying,

534
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:09.480
I'm faired I'm scared that that's going
to like open up a door or you

535
00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:13.079
know, I'm saying, open up
the doorway that's already closed. I know

536
00:41:13.239 --> 00:41:17.840
I could open one thousands not enough, you know, And you know I

537
00:41:17.840 --> 00:41:21.000
could openly admit that, you know
what, even though I'll drink them,

538
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:24.760
I'm still alcoholic. It's always gonna
be there, you know, Like I

539
00:41:24.760 --> 00:41:29.239
could, I could openly admit and
say that, yo, you know what,

540
00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:32.360
I'm still you know what I'm saying, add to the pump painkillers even

541
00:41:32.360 --> 00:41:35.679
though you know what I'm saying,
I'm prescribed them. I have to like

542
00:41:35.719 --> 00:41:38.039
really be careful how I take them
because the last time, you know,

543
00:41:39.159 --> 00:41:44.280
let me tell you, let me
tell your story real quick, painkillers.

544
00:41:44.840 --> 00:41:47.719
I had kidney stones, right,
this was when you know, like they

545
00:41:47.719 --> 00:41:52.800
were given freaking oxes out like candy, like sixty of them, you know,

546
00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:57.639
like and that's the er the elways
get given like thirty pills for like

547
00:41:58.000 --> 00:42:02.000
kidney stones and stuff. Right,
So I ended up, you know,

548
00:42:02.039 --> 00:42:06.599
like catcha kenney stones like back to
back, and I have to like,

549
00:42:06.639 --> 00:42:09.960
you know, get a kinney stone
surgically removed. I didn't know that,

550
00:42:10.039 --> 00:42:13.639
you know, like I was having
you know what I'm saying, Like I

551
00:42:13.679 --> 00:42:15.840
was going through withdraws or whatever,
you know, after after like you know,

552
00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:19.000
I pass the Kinney Stones, I
ran out of pain pillows or whatever.

553
00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:21.039
I don't know. I was going
through with draws, like I was

554
00:42:21.079 --> 00:42:24.800
at work. It's the summertime.
I'm here shivering, nice sweats, you

555
00:42:24.840 --> 00:42:29.280
know, I want them to eat, losing my temper quick, you know,

556
00:42:29.400 --> 00:42:32.199
like body aches, the works.
And then I look it up.

557
00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:36.440
I'm like, yo, you know
what, you know, like, let

558
00:42:36.440 --> 00:42:38.679
me type what OxyS are because they
make me feel good. Come to find

559
00:42:38.679 --> 00:42:40.800
out it was opious. I was
like, oh shit, I didn't even

560
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:45.760
know, like and boom, that's
what it was. And then I Kinny

561
00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:49.480
Stones again, and that like Kinney
Stones, like you know, was like

562
00:42:50.440 --> 00:42:54.400
running Rampert with me up until the
point where it's like my oldest brother used

563
00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:58.719
to get percocepts because like it was
always in pain and like prescribe to him.

564
00:42:58.760 --> 00:43:01.360
So I would get something from home
because like my kids, you know

565
00:43:01.400 --> 00:43:06.880
what I'm saying. My kids were
still hurt or I thought it would,

566
00:43:07.800 --> 00:43:14.400
and yeah, you know what,
and it became you know, like you

567
00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:15.159
know, like at first, I
was like, yeah, you know what

568
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:19.800
I'm gonna take these on you know, Saturday, because I know it takes

569
00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:22.920
some day to like you know,
clear out, and sometimes you know,

570
00:43:22.920 --> 00:43:25.000
my job would like to give these
pop up drug tests. Some take this

571
00:43:25.119 --> 00:43:30.559
on Saturday, you know, just
have fun. I went from Saturday till

572
00:43:30.639 --> 00:43:32.440
Friday, and Saturday, I was
like, God, I'm just gonna keep

573
00:43:32.440 --> 00:43:37.800
it on the weekend. And as
you know, that's how things start,

574
00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:40.960
because you start saying, you start
telling yourself, I got control, I

575
00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:49.280
got control. Mm hmm. I
realized that I had no control when I'm

576
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:55.920
here taking it in the morning,
afternoon night Monday to Sunday, like yeah

577
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:59.239
exactly. And then like you know, I told my brother. I was

578
00:43:59.239 --> 00:44:00.440
like, yo, you know what, I got something to tell you,

579
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:05.119
you know, like I felt,
you know what I'm saying. I remember

580
00:44:05.159 --> 00:44:08.960
telling him I fucked up, like
you know, like we're talking. I

581
00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:13.679
was like I need help, you
know, like I'm about to be I'm

582
00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:17.679
about to go like go take family
leave and just like you know, check

583
00:44:17.719 --> 00:44:22.119
myself to rehab or something. Man
like I can't live like this no more.

584
00:44:22.880 --> 00:44:24.320
Mh So like so like he told
me, don't do it, that

585
00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:30.440
He'll helped me be in off of
it, I'm like fine, So it

586
00:44:30.559 --> 00:44:35.400
started doing that and then like he
got like extremely sick, and then like

587
00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:40.719
you know, he passed away.
And right then and there, you know,

588
00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:43.920
like I did promise him that,
you know what, I'm not gonna

589
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:47.599
take it for recreation I made.
I kept my promise. Well I thought

590
00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:53.679
I didn't, because like to the
end of the d why I actually took

591
00:44:53.719 --> 00:44:58.119
up you know what I'm saying.
I actually took a pill because like I

592
00:44:58.159 --> 00:45:04.239
wanted to like you know, not
feel nothing. Yeah, so and I

593
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:07.719
was like my first time doing it
ever sinusly passed away. So like,

594
00:45:08.760 --> 00:45:13.400
meanwhile, I'm one of my brother
I'm going through with draws. At the

595
00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:16.199
same time, I was a mess, you know, but it was bad

596
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:21.360
like fever, throwing up and this
kind of third like cold turkey ship man,

597
00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:24.880
like it was horrible. So like
so like you know what I do

598
00:45:25.039 --> 00:45:30.519
understand, you know, like what
it is to be addicted, because I

599
00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:34.119
could openly admit that, you know, you know what I was addicted to.

600
00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:37.599
Looking you know, people saying marijuana's
a gateway drug, It really isn't

601
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:42.599
to me. Liquor is, you
know, because like liquor opens you up

602
00:45:42.639 --> 00:45:46.679
to other ship like it really does, at least believe it or not.

603
00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:54.039
Anything, anything does can be a
gateway drug. Anything was my monja was

604
00:45:54.079 --> 00:45:59.199
liquor, you know, like like
you know, like like you know what,

605
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:02.039
like liquor looking at me? Myself
awareness like flow to the point where

606
00:46:02.039 --> 00:46:06.719
I just didn't care about nothing.
Mm hm, you know, like I

607
00:46:06.719 --> 00:46:08.559
could be good one minute and the
next thing, you know it, like

608
00:46:08.639 --> 00:46:12.159
you know, I'm thinking some other
foul ship and I'm like, you know

609
00:46:12.159 --> 00:46:14.960
what, I need to do this. I need to do that. No,

610
00:46:15.119 --> 00:46:17.880
I can't live that that, man, I can't do it no more.

611
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:23.440
That's why I stopped. You know
what I'm saying, everything well not

612
00:46:23.480 --> 00:46:29.119
that except except for vaping, because
you know what, but you know that's

613
00:46:29.199 --> 00:46:31.880
dangerous, right yeah? But yeah, but you know what it's I'm not

614
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:37.159
trying to like this gate bar ship. Oh man, just California cherry the

615
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:42.480
flavor. It tastes like it tastes
like you know what I'm saying, like

616
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:45.840
like an airhead, get smoking.
Just get a whole bunch of airheads instead

617
00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:52.840
of doing that. Have you not
seen the triple chins on me? Hello?

618
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:53.840
You know, like I don't want
to. I don't want to get

619
00:46:53.840 --> 00:47:01.320
no more fatter than what I have. You know what that would eventually stop

620
00:47:01.360 --> 00:47:07.559
too. I have a question,
do you think Drake lady g Drake?

621
00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:15.280
Yes, I can't say that I
listened to him. Where you were you

622
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:23.199
aware of his his beheading by Kendrick
Lamar No, see, I honestly don't

623
00:47:23.239 --> 00:47:31.840
get into like entertainment and like celebrity
news. Like I don't watch the news.

624
00:47:31.960 --> 00:47:38.039
I don't because that stuff to me
doesn't It's not not true. I

625
00:47:38.119 --> 00:47:40.920
get that, but like but like
you know what the reason why, Like

626
00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:46.519
you know, like I'm like somewhat
like invested in it because from a cultural

627
00:47:46.519 --> 00:47:51.480
standpoint, you know, like like
you know, as someone that you know,

628
00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:54.519
I remember when they used to break
dance in the park, Yeah,

629
00:47:54.840 --> 00:48:00.719
right with the no lium and all
that stuff. Remember that, like thee

630
00:48:00.760 --> 00:48:04.880
even right right there on Fourth Street
break danced niggas zebo. You know what

631
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:07.599
I'm saying. Everything like the conscious
of thing, like a fight was going

632
00:48:07.639 --> 00:48:09.800
on, they'll try to break it
up, you know, like from someone

633
00:48:09.880 --> 00:48:14.039
that grew up and that ever where
like but like you know, like I

634
00:48:14.199 --> 00:48:20.599
was living a box around like yeah, yo yo, you know what that

635
00:48:20.760 --> 00:48:23.360
B boy era was was a ship
man, it was level you know,

636
00:48:23.559 --> 00:48:27.719
like you have like you know what, like anybody could watch it on YouTube,

637
00:48:27.719 --> 00:48:30.360
but you have to be there live, you know, Like yeah,

638
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:35.440
you know so I mean like from
from someone that you know that grew up.

639
00:48:35.480 --> 00:48:37.440
You don't like that, you know
what I'm saying. And listen to

640
00:48:37.679 --> 00:48:40.840
B D P and E P,
M D and all that stuff to what

641
00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:45.599
it is now, you know,
like to what it is now? Like

642
00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:47.920
like me, I'm a hip hop
as so like I could tell you straight

643
00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:52.599
up man, like, like you
know, like the minute it got corporate,

644
00:48:52.719 --> 00:48:55.840
man like, that's when the mint
everything got watered down, you know.

645
00:48:57.000 --> 00:49:00.960
Like so that's the reason why they
took So that's the rest reason why

646
00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:02.159
they to me, like you know, my bad, that's the reason why.

647
00:49:02.239 --> 00:49:05.880
To me, like the Kendrick and
Drake thing was so important because Kendrick

648
00:49:05.920 --> 00:49:08.119
to me, was like the face
of the culture and Drake was a machine

649
00:49:08.559 --> 00:49:13.679
that was planting m HM and the
culture ended up winning my opinion. So

650
00:49:13.760 --> 00:49:21.599
I'm like, yeah, but anyways, that's beyond that, all right,

651
00:49:21.719 --> 00:49:28.239
So lost maybe bad. Let me
tell you something that Judge. That Judge

652
00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:32.280
home run kind of kind of made
things close. But yeah, man,

653
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:35.960
but like, yo, you know
what Garret cole bro like, how to

654
00:49:36.400 --> 00:49:38.599
give a bottom the bottom of the
bottom of the bottom of that that that

655
00:49:39.039 --> 00:49:45.000
Yankee lineup is trashed, bro.
Yeah yeah. It is the thing that

656
00:49:45.199 --> 00:49:52.119
happened with the with the the guy
that had stuff on his hands pitching ten

657
00:49:52.239 --> 00:49:57.360
games. Yeah, suspended for ten
games. But it's like you're gonna sit

658
00:49:57.440 --> 00:50:01.239
there straight line when they have it
on camera, Like come on. People

659
00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:06.079
just don't know when to stop,
you know, to realize they've been caught.

660
00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:09.119
They've been caught. So it's just
accountability. That's what we've lost.

661
00:50:09.239 --> 00:50:16.719
We've lost in this world. Accountability. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm

662
00:50:16.760 --> 00:50:21.079
not I'm not gonna. I'm not
gonna. Yeah, yeah, you know

663
00:50:21.159 --> 00:50:23.280
what though, But but but you
know what though, I mean, at

664
00:50:23.320 --> 00:50:27.880
one point or another, you know
what I'm saying, we all, you

665
00:50:27.920 --> 00:50:30.599
know what I'm saying, we're the
victim of those who try to gaslight us.

666
00:50:30.840 --> 00:50:34.920
And at one point or another,
we all try to gas like somebody

667
00:50:35.480 --> 00:50:37.599
mm hmm and not take accountability.
So you know what I'm saying, Like

668
00:50:38.599 --> 00:50:42.760
it flows both ways with us.
But like you know, like we're old

669
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:44.440
enough to know you know what I
mean, Like, like, yo,

670
00:50:44.519 --> 00:50:47.079
you know what, I try not
to you know what I'm saying gas like

671
00:50:47.159 --> 00:50:52.159
nobody no more, you know,
like I try to take whatever it is

672
00:50:52.239 --> 00:50:57.679
on the chin, no drizzy right, you know, like if you know

673
00:50:57.719 --> 00:51:01.599
what I'm saying, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, you know, like

674
00:51:01.719 --> 00:51:07.000
period, you know what I'm saying. I'll admit when I'm wrong, but

675
00:51:07.159 --> 00:51:10.760
like you know what I'm saying.
But like you were talking about the whole

676
00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:15.960
pride and stuff like that, it's
like, so somebody doesn't look stupid or

677
00:51:16.000 --> 00:51:22.119
feel stupid, they will straight out, boldfaced lie, not only to others

678
00:51:22.159 --> 00:51:30.639
but to themselves, just so that
they don't have to be seen for their

679
00:51:30.719 --> 00:51:36.599
mistakes. Like we're humans, we
make mistakes. But people keep saying I'm

680
00:51:36.679 --> 00:51:39.079
sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know you can only or my

681
00:51:39.239 --> 00:51:44.039
bad. That's that's another one.
You know you can only say my bad

682
00:51:44.159 --> 00:51:47.480
so many times before I just turn
off to it. It's like, you

683
00:51:47.559 --> 00:51:51.239
know what you keep saying my bad. I don't want to hear what you

684
00:51:51.360 --> 00:51:52.480
got to say. I want to
see what you're gonna do with it,

685
00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:59.400
Like stop saying my bad and fix
it. Yeah, but yo, you

686
00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:02.679
know what, though I haven't habit
the same bad too to a lot of

687
00:52:02.719 --> 00:52:07.719
people. I gotta stop that ship. I say that ship all the time.

688
00:52:07.800 --> 00:52:09.840
I'm bad, yo bad. Yeah. Yeah, but that's not being

689
00:52:09.920 --> 00:52:15.679
accountable, that's just making an excuse. Also depends what just saying my bad

690
00:52:15.719 --> 00:52:20.280
about you know what I'm saying.
But look, if you do something once,

691
00:52:20.920 --> 00:52:24.360
it's like, for instance, its
choice. For instance, though you

692
00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:28.360
know what I'm saying, like,
actually that's not true, that's not true

693
00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:30.440
either. Also depends you know what
I'm saying, if it's a choice or

694
00:52:30.480 --> 00:52:32.760
not. Like let's just say,
you know, I'm at your house and

695
00:52:32.760 --> 00:52:36.639
I leave the toilet seat up.
I'm used to that, my bad.

696
00:52:36.679 --> 00:52:39.599
It's it's it's a habitual thing.
I go use the bathroom, leave the

697
00:52:39.599 --> 00:52:42.840
toy seat up again, and you're
telling something about it, I'm telling you,

698
00:52:42.920 --> 00:52:45.119
my bad, it's a habit.
You will think you see what I

699
00:52:45.199 --> 00:52:51.239
mean, like something like small stuff
is not actually trying to remember well after

700
00:52:51.320 --> 00:52:53.280
the third time. Yeah, you
know what I'm saying, Like, I'm

701
00:52:53.280 --> 00:53:01.760
gonna try to remember after the third
time. I'm gonna try because because I'm

702
00:53:02.119 --> 00:53:07.280
because you know what I don't know, don't I don't I don't know you

703
00:53:07.320 --> 00:53:10.159
as so much hard questions. See, that's why, that's what one.

704
00:53:10.239 --> 00:53:15.039
That's why I'm single too. That's
why I'm alone. God got me in

705
00:53:15.119 --> 00:53:20.679
my separation phase because I asked the
hard questions. And people don't want to

706
00:53:20.920 --> 00:53:24.719
feel. They want to eat.
But Michael Jackson says, Michael Jackson says,

707
00:53:24.800 --> 00:53:28.840
you are not alone. I don't
know what the other worlds are.

708
00:53:30.599 --> 00:53:38.039
I am here with you, even
if you're far away. I don't know

709
00:53:38.159 --> 00:53:45.000
the rest and what to say.
So I want I wanted. I wanted

710
00:53:45.079 --> 00:53:49.920
to touch. I wanted to touch
on story turn real quick man. I

711
00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:52.360
want to. I wanted to.
I wanted to get back to that,

712
00:53:52.840 --> 00:53:58.559
to that that subject about being sober
and ship because I know three years sobers

713
00:53:58.559 --> 00:54:01.000
and accomplishment, you know what I
mean, it's a big deal, especially

714
00:54:01.239 --> 00:54:06.559
three years. But I wanted to
get on my shit real quick man,

715
00:54:06.639 --> 00:54:13.599
because I I've been I've been drinking
now, I haven't drinking a while.

716
00:54:13.679 --> 00:54:17.000
I'm saying, like my my alcoholism
runs in my family is a DNA thing.

717
00:54:17.719 --> 00:54:22.400
So I started drinking when I was
about thirteen, all right, twelve

718
00:54:22.480 --> 00:54:27.519
thirteen years old. So it was
bad. It was you know, I

719
00:54:27.639 --> 00:54:31.840
was running the streets doing shit.
I shouldn't have been doing. And I

720
00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:37.119
was drinking a whole lot and my
drinker choice was MD twenty twenty banana red

721
00:54:37.159 --> 00:54:44.199
boy, Yeah, yeah, yeah, banana. There was the ship.

722
00:54:44.239 --> 00:54:46.679
I'm not gonna front either. So
it got to the point where when I

723
00:54:46.760 --> 00:54:53.000
got into high school, I was
I was keeping bags of ice and forty

724
00:54:53.079 --> 00:55:00.480
ounces in my locker and the day
find he came where we you know,

725
00:55:00.679 --> 00:55:05.639
got busted. So a couple of
the kids that I was I was drinking

726
00:55:05.719 --> 00:55:12.440
with had bathroom problems that morning and
kept going to the bathroom, kept going

727
00:55:12.480 --> 00:55:14.239
to the bathroom. They were like, yo, I gotta go to the

728
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:19.679
bathroom whatever. So finally the nurse
got called to go talk to one of

729
00:55:19.719 --> 00:55:22.880
the students to find out what was
his problem. So she smelled liquor on

730
00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:29.480
him, so she sent them to
the disciplinarian's office. And what do you

731
00:55:29.559 --> 00:55:37.599
think happens next, Well, mister
Coleone, please come to mister Radigan's office.

732
00:55:37.719 --> 00:55:42.719
Immediately, I'm like, what the
fuck did I do? So I

733
00:55:42.800 --> 00:55:46.280
go downstairs, this kid's in the
office. I'm like, oh my god,

734
00:55:47.159 --> 00:55:51.239
have you been drinking? Mister Codon? What do you mean? I

735
00:55:51.280 --> 00:55:55.519
don't drink? So then when they
searched my locker and they found two forty

736
00:55:55.599 --> 00:56:02.519
ounces a crazy horse stuffed in between
two bags. Vice. Right. Yeah,

737
00:56:05.199 --> 00:56:10.559
So so they said to me that, you know, I have to

738
00:56:10.599 --> 00:56:14.840
go to rehab. If I don't
go to rehab and finish the rehab,

739
00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:21.119
I'm not going to be able to
graduate with my class. So it got

740
00:56:21.159 --> 00:56:25.320
to the point where it was like, you know, I have to I

741
00:56:25.400 --> 00:56:30.119
gotta do something. I can't.
I can'tnot graduate with my class, you

742
00:56:30.199 --> 00:56:35.519
know, So they sent me to
rehab. I went to rehab. I

743
00:56:35.639 --> 00:56:37.320
finished the program, and I was
the only one out of all the kids

744
00:56:37.400 --> 00:56:43.400
that went that they sent to the
rehab to finished the rehab, finished the

745
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:47.079
program, so I was able to
graduate and stuff. But that didn't stop

746
00:56:47.159 --> 00:56:51.440
after after graduating from the program in
high school, that didn't stop me from

747
00:56:51.519 --> 00:56:59.440
drinking. I continue to drink.
So it got it got to the point

748
00:56:59.519 --> 00:57:07.480
where you know, I was,
Yeah, I was. I was m

749
00:57:07.559 --> 00:57:13.480
D twenty twenty Crazy hors Oe Cisco. When I wanted when I wanted something

750
00:57:13.559 --> 00:57:16.199
light, I drink Boon's Farm.
You know what I'm saying. You know

751
00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:20.079
what I mean. So I got
I was into all that ship. I

752
00:57:20.159 --> 00:57:23.000
was drinking all that ship and drinking
was my thing. I didn't smoke weed,

753
00:57:23.119 --> 00:57:28.559
I didn't do any other ship.
It was just drinking. My grandfather

754
00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:32.159
was a severe alcoholic. My father
is a severe alcoholic, you know what

755
00:57:32.199 --> 00:57:37.000
I'm saying. And the thing about
it is, you know, I had

756
00:57:37.079 --> 00:57:43.239
to warn you know, my kids
about this ship, you know, and

757
00:57:43.880 --> 00:57:50.960
it got to the point where,
you know, I felt that I felt

758
00:57:51.039 --> 00:58:00.039
that I needed to to stop.
So what I did was I just did

759
00:58:00.199 --> 00:58:06.039
just that. I got I got
drunk one night, like maybe five six

760
00:58:06.199 --> 00:58:13.400
years ago. That was the last
time I got so drunk that I mean,

761
00:58:13.440 --> 00:58:15.039
I was throwing up all over the
place. I just had to stop.

762
00:58:15.920 --> 00:58:22.119
This was more than six years ago. Yeah, it was at Swaska's

763
00:58:22.159 --> 00:58:28.960
birthday party. That was the last
time. Yeah, so I it was.

764
00:58:29.039 --> 00:58:34.360
We was fucked up because I was
cool at the party. And then

765
00:58:34.400 --> 00:58:39.280
when I came outside to leave,
I get in the truck and as we're

766
00:58:39.360 --> 00:58:43.920
as we're driving off, I'm throwing
up out the window and ship right,

767
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:52.119
I'm like, I'm like who It
was like that kind of vomit, you

768
00:58:52.199 --> 00:58:53.960
know what I'm saying. It was
like that bad. So when I got

769
00:58:54.039 --> 00:58:59.800
up in the morning to go to
the store, the whole side of the

770
00:58:59.840 --> 00:59:05.800
truck. It was like if you
were driving and you were spinning out the

771
00:59:05.840 --> 00:59:09.599
window and it was just labeled all
over this. Yeah, it was it

772
00:59:09.800 --> 00:59:13.920
definitely. It was definitely a Sousio
moment. Let me tell you that.

773
00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:16.000
So you know, I how to
take it to the car, washingly,

774
00:59:16.079 --> 00:59:20.039
mess it up whatever. But then
at that point I decided I made the

775
00:59:20.239 --> 00:59:25.280
conscious decision of just I needed to
stop. Right. So, every once

776
00:59:25.360 --> 00:59:30.519
in a while, like it's weird
alcoholic, like that being the alcoholic in

777
00:59:30.639 --> 00:59:36.639
me, it's it's it's a weird
situation because like I can go to a

778
00:59:36.719 --> 00:59:39.960
bar and drink nothing but dia sodas. You know what I'm saying. I

779
00:59:40.079 --> 00:59:47.400
could I could be anywhere with with
bunch, with all types of alcohol and

780
00:59:47.599 --> 00:59:53.519
just drink soda and not and not
stress it. Sometimes I get to the

781
00:59:53.599 --> 00:59:58.960
point where it's like I want to
shot, I want to drink, I

782
00:59:58.960 --> 01:00:00.079
want to shout, I want to
drink. I'll go to the liquor store,

783
01:00:00.159 --> 01:00:04.360
buy something, come home and don't
want it, you know what I

784
01:00:04.480 --> 01:00:12.079
mean, Like it's it's hold on
a second, so like it's it's weird,

785
01:00:12.360 --> 01:00:15.599
you know, I don't I haven't. I haven't had a solid drink

786
01:00:16.360 --> 01:00:25.280
and and and and felt anything like
the need to drink or you know,

787
01:00:25.320 --> 01:00:31.519
the urge to drink in a long
time. You know. I mean people

788
01:00:31.639 --> 01:00:34.519
drink around me all the time,
and I'm like, yeah, that shit

789
01:00:34.559 --> 01:00:37.400
doesn't bother me, you know,
but there's some people out there that they

790
01:00:37.480 --> 01:00:45.719
can't handle it. Most people,
there's always exceptions, and you know what,

791
01:00:45.559 --> 01:00:49.519
you could drink around me. I
don't care, you know, like

792
01:00:49.639 --> 01:00:52.360
I don't get thirsty for it.
You know, like like like yo,

793
01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:57.320
put it this way right, you
know how like you know, rubber raised

794
01:00:57.320 --> 01:01:00.199
ice cream, you really can't taste
the rumber in it. Yeah, my

795
01:01:00.320 --> 01:01:05.039
taste was are so sensitive to that
ship now that like, oh yeah,

796
01:01:05.960 --> 01:01:07.280
I could like you know, like
I'll taste it like you know, like

797
01:01:07.400 --> 01:01:09.679
stinging. You know, I'll look
around, like what the type of ice

798
01:01:09.719 --> 01:01:13.639
cream is this? I was rumming
raised. I was like, why would

799
01:01:13.639 --> 01:01:15.360
you give it to me? You
know what I'm saying, don't want this

800
01:01:15.400 --> 01:01:20.119
ship? Yeah, you know,
I don't like or like the rumming cake,

801
01:01:20.199 --> 01:01:22.719
you know, like, oh,
like you know what I can't you

802
01:01:22.800 --> 01:01:25.079
know what it's nothing I can't do, is that I don't want to do

803
01:01:25.159 --> 01:01:29.800
it, you know, because period, like I said, you know,

804
01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:31.639
like I don't do I don't do
wine, I don't do champagne, I

805
01:01:31.639 --> 01:01:37.760
don't do nothing. It's it's it's
crazy. It's crazy because like my pops,

806
01:01:37.960 --> 01:01:44.039
like he's he's retired now, but
I mean he's still he's still like

807
01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:46.679
his ship, like he's still you
know, at his age. You know

808
01:01:46.760 --> 01:01:50.920
he should be slowing down or something, but he's the thing is, some

809
01:01:51.079 --> 01:01:54.559
people get to a point where they've
been doing they've been drinking so long that

810
01:01:54.679 --> 01:02:00.719
if they don't, they die.
I guess that's what up with him then,

811
01:02:00.920 --> 01:02:08.440
is yeah, because I mean I've
had several different professions, but yeah,

812
01:02:08.599 --> 01:02:15.719
certain and there are some alcoholics that
their alcoholism has been for so long

813
01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:21.239
and in such a level that the
truth is they have to keep drinking because

814
01:02:21.280 --> 01:02:29.559
if they because if they don't,
Yeah, but but even even being tapered,

815
01:02:30.079 --> 01:02:34.079
it would take a very very long
time because they'd have to go down

816
01:02:34.400 --> 01:02:40.320
so minusculely. But it's like if
they don't have that daily alcohol, their

817
01:02:40.440 --> 01:02:46.719
body, their organs shut down,
their body will shut down and then they

818
01:02:46.840 --> 01:02:53.440
die. Really, when I was
at e MT, I've seen that happen

819
01:02:54.199 --> 01:03:00.960
it's horrible. It is horrible.
You know, some people just can't live.

820
01:03:00.639 --> 01:03:05.199
It's like they have to take at
least a shot every day. Yeah,

821
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:08.840
this dude, my mom Pops is
like that. He's he calls me

822
01:03:08.920 --> 01:03:12.119
sometimes he calls me up. I
think he's calling his brother. He's like,

823
01:03:12.159 --> 01:03:15.400
oh yeah, I said, I'm
like, this is your son.

824
01:03:15.519 --> 01:03:17.679
Bro. He's like, oh,
all right, I call you back.

825
01:03:19.320 --> 01:03:22.039
Yeah, and then you don't.
But I don't get that call. I

826
01:03:22.079 --> 01:03:24.519
don't get that call back. But
yeah, that's that's what it is.

827
01:03:24.719 --> 01:03:31.480
Man. It's terrible. Mm hmmu. But hey, I didn't know that

828
01:03:31.599 --> 01:03:35.679
they had to keep at that some
point you got to keep going. At

829
01:03:35.719 --> 01:03:39.000
some point you have to sustain because
your your liver has been so damaged.

830
01:03:42.360 --> 01:03:47.079
Yeah that I seriously. The body
literally, like it's almost like you can

831
01:03:47.159 --> 01:03:54.280
see it happen. It's like the
body just stops, your heart stops pumping,

832
01:03:54.400 --> 01:03:59.440
and and that's it. You know, you go through the withdrawals and

833
01:04:00.239 --> 01:04:03.039
you know you get really, really
really sick, and it's not a pretty

834
01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:11.719
sight. But yeah, but that's
actually because I've had alcoholism also in my

835
01:04:11.880 --> 01:04:15.679
family. I think that's what that's
part of that's not the whole thing.

836
01:04:16.079 --> 01:04:20.679
But that's part of why I stay
away from alcohol. And the truth is,

837
01:04:20.800 --> 01:04:27.039
it scares me so much sometimes that
even in this dating world right now,

838
01:04:27.880 --> 01:04:32.079
if somebody tells me that they drink, right, they put social drinker.

839
01:04:32.320 --> 01:04:39.719
But again, everybody's definitions of things
changes, Like you say social drinker,

840
01:04:40.119 --> 01:04:44.760
but then we're going out and you
have to have at least a beer

841
01:04:44.840 --> 01:04:48.079
every day. Like, when I
start seeing those patterns, it scares me

842
01:04:48.480 --> 01:04:54.800
because that's not something that I ever
want to go back to, like living

843
01:04:54.920 --> 01:04:59.199
with you know. So it's like, oh, you drink, So I'm

844
01:04:59.239 --> 01:05:01.079
not going to judge you. I'm
not gonna, you know, kiss you

845
01:05:01.159 --> 01:05:05.679
goodbye right that moment, but I'm
definitely gonna keep my eye on your patterns.

846
01:05:06.920 --> 01:05:11.000
And then, like I was telling
Dub that, you know, for

847
01:05:11.199 --> 01:05:16.280
me, I call it and I've
tried not to. There were points in

848
01:05:16.360 --> 01:05:18.639
my life when I was like,
can I just get to the point where

849
01:05:18.679 --> 01:05:23.760
I just don't care, Like where
I could just say if it all like

850
01:05:23.920 --> 01:05:28.280
I I just not care what people
do, not care, But unfortunately it's

851
01:05:28.360 --> 01:05:32.960
not in me. It's not in
me to not care, and so yeah,

852
01:05:33.360 --> 01:05:38.840
nothing too right, you know what
I'm saying, like I was just

853
01:05:38.960 --> 01:05:43.360
thinking about something right right now,
my bad, But like another thing too,

854
01:05:43.400 --> 01:05:46.719
about you know, trying not to
care, Like it's you know what

855
01:05:46.719 --> 01:05:49.119
I'm saying, Like you can go
ahead and play that game, but then

856
01:05:49.159 --> 01:05:53.199
you're gonna lose anyways because you come
to find out that you know, it's

857
01:05:53.519 --> 01:05:56.920
not who you really are. So
then like, you know, like so

858
01:05:57.480 --> 01:06:00.239
then like it becomes like one of
those situations where you're like stuck between a

859
01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:05.400
rock and a hard place right where
you know what, you want to help

860
01:06:05.440 --> 01:06:09.280
this person, but at the same
time, at what expense, you know

861
01:06:09.280 --> 01:06:12.719
what I'm saying, like, do
you sacrifice yourself to help this person even

862
01:06:12.760 --> 01:06:15.599
though this person is going to like
you know, has like a very sixty

863
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:20.400
percent chance of doing what the hell
they want to do, or sacrifice your

864
01:06:20.440 --> 01:06:24.320
hard or walk away, but at
least you walk away to peace of mind,

865
01:06:25.119 --> 01:06:31.079
m you know, and some sadly
you know, like it's a rough

866
01:06:31.119 --> 01:06:34.920
game out there and all honesty,
But then that's where you have to start

867
01:06:35.800 --> 01:06:44.719
realizing the difference between not caring and
having boundaries. Right. So, unfortunately

868
01:06:44.840 --> 01:06:50.079
it took me a long long time, practically my entire life to get to

869
01:06:50.199 --> 01:06:54.239
the point I think it took all
of us, our whole lives to get

870
01:06:54.280 --> 01:07:01.280
to the point where right now,
but my boundaries are healthier, more rigid

871
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:05.599
as I get older, right,
because it's like after a while, you

872
01:07:05.800 --> 01:07:10.280
just like we were talking about earlier, you know, you just get tired

873
01:07:10.360 --> 01:07:15.840
of the same old crap and you
keep going in this vicious circle of doing

874
01:07:15.920 --> 01:07:20.440
the same thing over and over and
now and then and not only that,

875
01:07:20.639 --> 01:07:26.800
you I'll grow it too, like
anymore, you know. So so so

876
01:07:26.880 --> 01:07:33.320
it's like it's like, for instance, right like at my age, right,

877
01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:36.719
yeah, I sound like I'm old. I don't even care at this

878
01:07:36.800 --> 01:07:40.480
point. We're all around the same
age, you know. Like, but

879
01:07:40.679 --> 01:07:45.360
but you know what at my age
right for yourself, I tell you,

880
01:07:45.559 --> 01:07:47.599
you know what, turn thirty,
Turn thirty, I mean, turn thirty.

881
01:07:47.599 --> 01:07:49.920
I'm even I'm you know what I'm
saying. I'm either watching a movie

882
01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:54.239
or I'm ready to go to bed, one of the two. You know

883
01:07:54.280 --> 01:07:57.159
what I'm saying, Like I'm home, I'm home period, you know,

884
01:07:57.280 --> 01:07:59.599
hanging out there. You know what
I'm saying, Like like, you know

885
01:07:59.679 --> 01:08:01.599
what, unless you know what I'm
saying, it's some type of emergency or

886
01:08:01.639 --> 01:08:04.719
something like I have to be out
there. But one thing, one thing's

887
01:08:04.760 --> 01:08:11.039
for sure, you're not going to
catch me. And no lounge or no

888
01:08:11.239 --> 01:08:15.239
bar, no nothing right because you
know what, like that's not me no

889
01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:18.600
more. You know, because our
values change, you know, our needs

890
01:08:18.760 --> 01:08:23.560
change, our values change, and
as we get older is when we realize

891
01:08:23.680 --> 01:08:26.960
what things are truly important to us. Like right now in my life,

892
01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:30.720
we're all in the same age range
now No, not now not hold on

893
01:08:30.840 --> 01:08:32.800
though, you know what now you
know what? You know what I'm saying,

894
01:08:32.840 --> 01:08:34.840
whoever's our age in a bar?
Like you know what I'm saying,

895
01:08:34.920 --> 01:08:38.960
just limit it up, you know
what I'm saying. That's lonely. The

896
01:08:39.039 --> 01:08:41.439
only, the only, the only, the only thing I could take.

897
01:08:41.520 --> 01:08:44.640
The only thing I could say is
that you know they're probably coming out of

898
01:08:44.720 --> 01:08:47.319
a long term, you know,
relationship and trying to get you know,

899
01:08:47.640 --> 01:08:51.079
acclimated back to what it is,
you know what I'm saying, back out

900
01:08:51.159 --> 01:08:56.960
there or finding their new normal.
Yeah, you know, like like like

901
01:08:57.119 --> 01:09:00.279
like you know, trying to create
a new normal. Yeah, feel because

902
01:09:00.359 --> 01:09:08.119
like you know or or you know, you're just trying to hold on to

903
01:09:08.760 --> 01:09:14.880
your youth when it's gone. You
know what I'm saying. Now, now

904
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:17.479
the first one I talked about.
You know what I'm saying, I kind

905
01:09:17.479 --> 01:09:19.600
of you know what I'm saying,
I'll give them a pass because you know

906
01:09:19.680 --> 01:09:23.520
what, if you've been in a
relationship from the twenties and like all of

907
01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:27.119
a siden it didn't work out,
you know, and you find yourself single.

908
01:09:27.199 --> 01:09:30.119
Now you know what I'm saying,
you're scrambling to like trying to like

909
01:09:30.119 --> 01:09:32.560
you know what I'm saying, get
your foot on the ground. See that

910
01:09:32.720 --> 01:09:34.560
you know what I'm saying, that
situation I get. You know what I'm

911
01:09:34.600 --> 01:09:39.760
saying, That that situation gets to
pass, you know, because like you

912
01:09:39.880 --> 01:09:43.359
missed that out on a lot,
you know what I'm saying, Like trying

913
01:09:43.399 --> 01:09:45.119
to, you know what I'm saying, try like try to get a feel

914
01:09:45.159 --> 01:09:48.960
of what it is to be out
here. Like it's it's almost as if

915
01:09:49.079 --> 01:09:51.560
like you know, like like you
know, the person heard what I'm saying,

916
01:09:51.560 --> 01:09:55.359
the person heard the stories and seeing
on social media, but like then

917
01:09:55.520 --> 01:10:00.039
experience it it's like to be outside
like this, you know, you know,

918
01:10:00.199 --> 01:10:03.319
with with the with the changed stats, you see what I mean,

919
01:10:04.520 --> 01:10:10.079
And then the then they're the ones
that you know that like that, like

920
01:10:10.119 --> 01:10:12.079
you know what I'm saying, never
grew up, They just grew down.

921
01:10:12.920 --> 01:10:15.520
M hm. You know those you
know what I'm saying, like they have

922
01:10:15.640 --> 01:10:18.960
no excuse, like you know what, you've been horn since twenty five yea,

923
01:10:19.319 --> 01:10:23.680
when you're gonna stop, you know
what I'm saying. Some people just

924
01:10:23.720 --> 01:10:28.199
don't want to grow up and be
like you know, like you know what

925
01:10:28.640 --> 01:10:33.239
how you went from you know,
like a prim king and queen to unk

926
01:10:33.279 --> 01:10:36.359
at the club or anti you know
what I'm saying. Or Auntie you know

927
01:10:36.399 --> 01:10:40.359
what I'm saying, Auntie at the
club? Mm hmm. You know like

928
01:10:40.479 --> 01:10:46.000
that makes no sense. You know, like at some point man like Bachelor,

929
01:10:47.159 --> 01:10:49.520
Yeah, you know, like at
some point man like you know,

930
01:10:50.520 --> 01:10:53.880
you gotta give it up, you
know what I'm saying, Like stop hitting

931
01:10:53.920 --> 01:10:57.760
the lound, stop hitting the clubs, discord to your ARP event and you

932
01:10:57.840 --> 01:11:02.000
know, accepted for what it is, you know, like liquor should even

933
01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:11.520
be a thing, no more shaza
geraldo should be you know, like at

934
01:11:11.560 --> 01:11:15.359
this time in my life, the
thing I value the most is my peace,

935
01:11:15.039 --> 01:11:19.079
you know, and so of course
mental your mental your mental health should

936
01:11:19.079 --> 01:11:25.319
be just my peaceful even peaceful life. You know, like when I think

937
01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:29.560
about it. So it's five years
now that I've been divorced, and so

938
01:11:29.720 --> 01:11:33.840
it's like, I'm honestly thinking,
do I even I mean, yes,

939
01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:39.159
we all need companionship, and yes
it gets lonely and it gets tough.

940
01:11:39.680 --> 01:11:43.760
But at the same token, it's
like, now you get used to your

941
01:11:43.880 --> 01:11:47.399
solitude, you get used to being
able to live your life the way you

942
01:11:47.520 --> 01:11:51.600
want to, and you don't answer
to anybody. You don't have anybody on

943
01:11:51.720 --> 01:11:57.079
your back for things that for you
are tribual, you know, so you

944
01:11:57.199 --> 01:11:59.760
become used to that. So you
know, I ask myself, do I

945
01:11:59.800 --> 01:12:02.279
eat want to be in a relationship
again? Do I ever? You know,

946
01:12:03.520 --> 01:12:08.159
not that I don't want to,
But it's like sometimes, especially in

947
01:12:08.239 --> 01:12:11.920
this day and age, it's more
of a hassle because I value my peace.

948
01:12:12.119 --> 01:12:18.840
I value my peaceful life. And
when I come into contact with things

949
01:12:19.039 --> 01:12:23.840
that attempt because I'm the one that
gives it the power or not, that

950
01:12:23.960 --> 01:12:28.439
attempt to take my joy, attempt
to take my peace, I'm so much

951
01:12:28.560 --> 01:12:30.239
more quick now to just cut it
off and say, you know what,

952
01:12:30.479 --> 01:12:34.680
I'm done. I'm still here for
you, but I'm here for you from

953
01:12:34.720 --> 01:12:39.359
afar, you know, Like I
have siblings. I have many siblings,

954
01:12:40.119 --> 01:12:42.880
but I have two brothers who live
pretty close to me. You know,

955
01:12:43.680 --> 01:12:49.119
two of my four or five brothers
that live close, and I don't know

956
01:12:49.520 --> 01:12:51.960
what they're up to. I don't
know if they're okay. I don't know

957
01:12:53.000 --> 01:13:00.479
if they're not okay. Because the
truth is interacting with them, it takes

958
01:13:00.600 --> 01:13:03.680
my peace, you know. And
so the truth is, if they ever

959
01:13:03.800 --> 01:13:09.159
call, I'll pick up the phone. But now I'm so much more about

960
01:13:09.279 --> 01:13:13.319
boundaries, if it's something that's gonna
make me feel some type of way or

961
01:13:13.439 --> 01:13:18.560
take me out of my character or
my peace. They're younger. I'm the

962
01:13:18.640 --> 01:13:26.199
oldest. Why that's why, you
know, Like like if you don't want

963
01:13:26.199 --> 01:13:30.439
to be asking how young a they? I mean, they're all my siblings

964
01:13:30.479 --> 01:13:36.520
are in their forties. I have
one who's fifty three. Well you just

965
01:13:36.600 --> 01:13:42.479
say you're the oldest. H Well, of the siblings that are here I

966
01:13:42.600 --> 01:13:46.359
have, I have a brother in
Peru, and then I'm number two.

967
01:13:47.159 --> 01:13:53.760
Right. I had had an older
sister, but she passed away. But

968
01:13:54.079 --> 01:13:58.359
I'm the only girl left. So
technically I'm the mom, I'm the head,

969
01:13:58.520 --> 01:14:04.000
I'm the person that everybody comes to
for help. But it gets to

970
01:14:04.119 --> 01:14:06.920
that thing where you're there for everybody, but who's there for you type of

971
01:14:06.960 --> 01:14:12.600
thing. So I had to start
putting up my boundaries. It's like,

972
01:14:12.800 --> 01:14:15.840
listen, if you can't come correct
here, you know, I love you.

973
01:14:16.079 --> 01:14:19.119
I'll help you any way I can, but I can't let you to

974
01:14:19.199 --> 01:14:27.399
bring your toxicity and your chaos into
my world because absolute Yeah, because I

975
01:14:27.840 --> 01:14:30.680
know, especially because I'm a I'm
a I don't want to say emotional.

976
01:14:30.760 --> 01:14:38.840
I am a very impactical yes,
that's why I said. But that's why

977
01:14:38.880 --> 01:14:41.880
I said. I don't want to
use the word emotional, but I'm I'm

978
01:14:42.760 --> 01:14:48.720
ultra sensitive. I guess I pick
up emotions very acutely. You know.

979
01:14:48.760 --> 01:14:56.520
I'm very sensitive to people's feelings people. Yeah, I'm empathic. So it

980
01:14:56.680 --> 01:15:00.279
makes things more difficult for me,
Like where one of my brothers could come

981
01:15:00.359 --> 01:15:03.720
here, get mad at me because
I said something he don't like, disown

982
01:15:03.840 --> 01:15:06.600
me. He'd be like, f
you, you're not my sister, but

983
01:15:06.600 --> 01:15:12.439
whatever, walk away, right.
That will affect me, But it affects

984
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:15.760
me for a lot longer than he
might be soaking for a couple of days.

985
01:15:15.439 --> 01:15:19.680
But it'll take me weeks. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that deb

986
01:15:20.840 --> 01:15:26.920
and yes, getting used to the
new normal. Uh, it's difficult.

987
01:15:26.960 --> 01:15:35.239
I was married for sixteen years and
unfortunately he got married to a family member

988
01:15:35.960 --> 01:15:45.960
a month after our divorce. So
definitely, yoh you know what, Nah,

989
01:15:45.159 --> 01:15:49.560
bro, No, you know what
you have to You know what I'm

990
01:15:49.560 --> 01:15:54.960
saying. You have to see me, you know, like it's a requirement.

991
01:15:55.000 --> 01:15:58.000
We run that fade man, you
know, not because you know what

992
01:15:58.000 --> 01:16:00.479
I'm saying, not because you know
what I'm saying of the dude, I

993
01:16:00.479 --> 01:16:01.600
don't go. You know what I'm
saying of you know what I'm saying.

994
01:16:01.680 --> 01:16:04.359
Well, at my pick, like
if that show was happened to me,

995
01:16:04.520 --> 01:16:09.760
like you family and not man like
you gonna have to see me outside or

996
01:16:09.760 --> 01:16:13.640
something. It's the principal. But
look at that. So my best friend,

997
01:16:13.720 --> 01:16:15.520
because of that, she called me. She said that she feels that

998
01:16:15.560 --> 01:16:19.920
I'm weak. Right, But what
people don't understand is it takes so much

999
01:16:20.039 --> 01:16:27.560
more strength to not act out of
emotion. Yeah, And so it's like,

1000
01:16:27.760 --> 01:16:30.119
what would I have lost if I
had seen her outside or if I

1001
01:16:30.199 --> 01:16:33.079
saw him outside? Right, what
would I have gained? I would have

1002
01:16:33.159 --> 01:16:38.760
lost my children, I would have
lost their respect. I would have lost

1003
01:16:38.880 --> 01:16:43.479
my own self respect, because it
wouldn't have changed the situation. Clearly,

1004
01:16:43.600 --> 01:16:47.000
there was a reason it happened.
The best thing I could do for myself

1005
01:16:47.479 --> 01:16:51.760
was pick up the pieces and move
on right. Nobody said it was easy.

1006
01:16:51.880 --> 01:16:56.800
Look, I'm five years later and
I'm still single. And actually,

1007
01:16:56.880 --> 01:17:00.000
my younger daughter, who's seventeen,
anytime I say that I'm talking to somebody

1008
01:17:00.359 --> 01:17:03.520
or you know, going out,
she gives me this look, and I'm

1009
01:17:03.560 --> 01:17:06.239
like, what's that look for?
She said, because mom, nothing ever

1010
01:17:06.359 --> 01:17:14.279
works out for you. And so
then I have to say, yeah,

1011
01:17:14.279 --> 01:17:16.479
but I have to explain her,
you know why things don't work out,

1012
01:17:16.520 --> 01:17:21.239
honey. And she's like why,
I said, because mommy knows who she

1013
01:17:21.439 --> 01:17:25.119
is, she knows her value,
she knows her worth, she knows what

1014
01:17:25.239 --> 01:17:30.119
she has to offer someone. So
she's not for me and for her as

1015
01:17:30.199 --> 01:17:33.600
well. I'm not just gonna let
anybody into my life again. You know.

1016
01:17:33.840 --> 01:17:39.720
It's like there has to be a
mutual partnership. I'm not looking for

1017
01:17:39.840 --> 01:17:45.319
a father and I'm not trying to
raise another husband, so I don't need

1018
01:17:45.359 --> 01:17:47.039
a son or a dad. I
need a partner. So I told her,

1019
01:17:47.119 --> 01:17:49.560
yeah, of course it doesn't work. But at least, I'm not

1020
01:17:49.880 --> 01:17:54.159
hardened, you know, like,
I'm still willing to go out there and

1021
01:17:54.319 --> 01:18:00.319
put my emotions on the line.
One because I believe in God. Oh

1022
01:18:00.399 --> 01:18:03.680
actually, and he made me a
promise. He promised to give back ten

1023
01:18:03.800 --> 01:18:08.840
times what I'd lost. And so
because I'm faithful and I'm trusting on that

1024
01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:13.039
promise, I can't be afraid to
put myself out there, because then I

1025
01:18:13.159 --> 01:18:16.079
only be hurting myself. But I'm
also not going to just settle because there

1026
01:18:16.159 --> 01:18:21.239
are those unfortunately who are co dependent
or who have been taught or lived a

1027
01:18:21.359 --> 01:18:26.439
life that they can't be alone.
I've actually had dudes tell me you're going

1028
01:18:26.479 --> 01:18:28.880
to be alone for the rest of
your life. You keep acting like that,

1029
01:18:29.680 --> 01:18:32.560
you know what. I know that
I can take care of myself.

1030
01:18:33.439 --> 01:18:36.760
I don't need anybody in my life. I want somebody in my life.

1031
01:18:38.439 --> 01:18:41.840
So I'm not just going to settle
for the sake of having something in my

1032
01:18:41.920 --> 01:18:46.760
house, because I'll be darned if
I'm going to be raising another man,

1033
01:18:47.960 --> 01:18:54.199
if I'm going to be doing my
hard work while the supposed provider in my

1034
01:18:54.399 --> 01:19:00.000
family is just sitting around doing nothing, has no aspirations, no dream I'm

1035
01:19:00.039 --> 01:19:03.520
not asking nobody to be a millionaire. I'm not asking for anything out of

1036
01:19:03.560 --> 01:19:11.199
the ordinary or anything that's difficult.
It's just but again, like we were

1037
01:19:11.239 --> 01:19:16.880
talking earlier about this whole you know, instant gratification and all these things.

1038
01:19:17.600 --> 01:19:24.359
We've gotten into this world where people
are shutting their hearts, their minds,

1039
01:19:24.479 --> 01:19:28.880
they're closing all that off to prevent
being hurt. Again, the truth is

1040
01:19:29.000 --> 01:19:32.520
the only way out of a problem
is to go through it. So my

1041
01:19:32.720 --> 01:19:38.000
first thing is when I meet somebody, if I see that you've got habits

1042
01:19:38.439 --> 01:19:44.399
that are causing you to avoid the
demons, avoid the hardship. If we

1043
01:19:44.520 --> 01:19:49.560
can't have the tough conversations, the
emote that where you might shet a tear,

1044
01:19:49.960 --> 01:19:54.760
if you're avoiding those things, to
me, that's a red flag because

1045
01:19:54.760 --> 01:20:00.680
I need somebody who wants to have
peace. Yeah. I was going to

1046
01:20:00.720 --> 01:20:06.520
say the same thing. However,
however, know what, yoh yo,

1047
01:20:06.640 --> 01:20:10.960
you know what you don't know that
person's trauma. Everyone's deeper than you know

1048
01:20:10.960 --> 01:20:13.720
what I'm saying, Like like yo, you know what like like when it

1049
01:20:13.800 --> 01:20:15.479
comes to like us men, you
know what I'm saying and trauma and ship

1050
01:20:16.119 --> 01:20:18.600
right, we you know what I'm
saying, we turd you know what I'm

1051
01:20:18.600 --> 01:20:23.319
saying, to not really want to
talk about that ship. Yeah, but

1052
01:20:23.479 --> 01:20:29.279
at the same time, but at
the same that's toxic too, so like

1053
01:20:29.359 --> 01:20:31.760
you know what I mean, Like
like like yo, you know what you

1054
01:20:31.840 --> 01:20:35.920
know? Like we tend to like
not want to talk about it because it's

1055
01:20:35.960 --> 01:20:40.439
like you're you know what I'm saying, You're living in a moment where like

1056
01:20:41.520 --> 01:20:45.520
who wants to live there? You
know what I'm saying, all right,

1057
01:20:47.760 --> 01:20:50.560
you're basic your hold on hold real
quick. It's basically that there's like I

1058
01:20:50.640 --> 01:20:55.800
got a metaphor for you, right, it's like asking someone who just came

1059
01:20:55.840 --> 01:20:59.279
back from my rack if they killed
somebody. You don't ask some questions like

1060
01:20:59.359 --> 01:21:02.720
that, right, you know what
I'm saying, Yo, That is disrespectful,

1061
01:21:02.960 --> 01:21:06.239
you know what I mean. So
it's like so it's like you know

1062
01:21:06.279 --> 01:21:09.359
what you wait for them to tell
you once you you know what I'm saying,

1063
01:21:09.399 --> 01:21:12.000
And like you could and you could
tell when they're telling you the truth,

1064
01:21:12.039 --> 01:21:14.319
because you know what they give you
that thousand yards stare. They don't

1065
01:21:14.479 --> 01:21:16.479
look at you, They're looking beyond
you, and that's how you know,

1066
01:21:16.520 --> 01:21:18.239
you know what I'm saying, Like
like, Yo, you know what,

1067
01:21:18.359 --> 01:21:21.159
this man sees some ship out there. But you know, when you don't

1068
01:21:21.199 --> 01:21:24.960
go ask them here, you kill
anybody, you know what I'm saying,

1069
01:21:25.039 --> 01:21:29.640
Like, you know it's uncomfortable.
You know, the person that openly brag

1070
01:21:29.680 --> 01:21:31.800
about, you know what I'm saying, being a rocker Afghanistan, Like yeah,

1071
01:21:31.840 --> 01:21:35.920
I'll shoot down this, that and
the third bro, No, you

1072
01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:39.159
did it. You know what I'm
saying because real you know what I'm saying,

1073
01:21:39.279 --> 01:21:43.159
people people that got you know what
I'm saying, bodies on their hands.

1074
01:21:43.199 --> 01:21:49.560
I'm not going to talk about it, right, so they won't if

1075
01:21:49.600 --> 01:21:53.600
they but but you know what,
they're not going to hear themselves to you.

1076
01:21:53.640 --> 01:21:57.640
They're gonna hear themselves around people that's
been through it first. Oh no,

1077
01:21:57.800 --> 01:22:00.920
I know that, I understand it. But it takes and it takes

1078
01:22:00.960 --> 01:22:05.359
a long It takes a very long
time, you know because because you know

1079
01:22:05.439 --> 01:22:09.079
what, like like you know what, a lot of us, like you

1080
01:22:09.119 --> 01:22:12.760
know what I'm saying, we practiced
that whole point to like avoid anything that

1081
01:22:12.840 --> 01:22:15.920
happens to do with that. I
get, I get, I get what

1082
01:22:16.039 --> 01:22:19.119
y'all both saying. So this is
this is what I think this is my

1083
01:22:19.239 --> 01:22:23.319
opinion. All right, my hands
are up. This is my opinion.

1084
01:22:24.199 --> 01:22:29.239
I think. I think when you
have someone that cares enough about you,

1085
01:22:32.760 --> 01:22:41.359
that's willing to hear your story,
who's willing not to willing to not judge

1086
01:22:41.399 --> 01:22:46.880
you, but listen and feel your
pain with you, it is a blessing,

1087
01:22:48.039 --> 01:22:50.600
you know what I'm saying, When
you have somebody who's gonna sit there

1088
01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:58.119
and actually feel the pain with you, right right, And I get I

1089
01:22:58.199 --> 01:23:00.720
get what you're saying. Age is
it is. It could be, it

1090
01:23:00.760 --> 01:23:02.960
could be a red flag if somebody
don't want to share those things. But

1091
01:23:03.079 --> 01:23:06.119
then again, I get dos point, because there's just some things at some

1092
01:23:06.239 --> 01:23:12.520
point that they'll want to do something. It's not it's not that they don't

1093
01:23:12.520 --> 01:23:15.199
want to be smoking, it's not
that they don't want to be spoken.

1094
01:23:15.359 --> 01:23:18.359
It's hard to talk about it.
But so, like you said, it's

1095
01:23:18.399 --> 01:23:23.680
hard to talk about I'm not talking
about the specific incidents. I'm talking about

1096
01:23:24.239 --> 01:23:30.640
when somebody's trying to avoid all together
dealing with issues. It's one thing for

1097
01:23:30.720 --> 01:23:33.159
a man to say to me,
you know I was in the military.

1098
01:23:33.880 --> 01:23:40.199
Uh, you know I saw war, right, So that's still sharing,

1099
01:23:40.399 --> 01:23:45.680
that's still not avoiding you know,
that's like acknowledging, right, all right,

1100
01:23:45.800 --> 01:23:49.479
so so so now so now let
me ask a question. Rights,

1101
01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:54.960
we talked to a man that you
know that was molested as a child.

1102
01:23:55.560 --> 01:23:58.680
Okay, you know what I'm saying, like, I ain't gonna want to

1103
01:23:58.720 --> 01:24:02.039
talk about that, but he doesn't
necessarily well for me anyway, he doesn't

1104
01:24:02.079 --> 01:24:08.840
necessarily have to talk about that.
But he ain't gonna trust me when I

1105
01:24:08.880 --> 01:24:11.079
say he's not gonna want to talk
about He's not gonna want to bring it

1106
01:24:11.199 --> 01:24:15.399
up, and he doesn't have to. But what I'm saying is he's gonna

1107
01:24:15.640 --> 01:24:20.119
he's gonna keep yes. But a
perfect example, all right, I was

1108
01:24:20.159 --> 01:24:30.199
at work the other day and clearly, actually I work with someone he's uh,

1109
01:24:30.560 --> 01:24:33.720
you know, law enforcement and whatnot. I went to high school with

1110
01:24:33.800 --> 01:24:42.640
him, right, so I know
him better than most. And he's expressed

1111
01:24:42.680 --> 01:24:45.039
to me, you know, like
when you say hi to people during the

1112
01:24:45.119 --> 01:24:47.520
day and they give you that look
like I'm going through a lot right now

1113
01:24:47.720 --> 01:24:53.439
or I'm frustrated. Right, So
clearly there's something there. But his answer

1114
01:24:53.880 --> 01:24:58.439
not even given, not not even
talking about this situation. His answer to

1115
01:24:58.600 --> 01:25:03.039
any issue was to go have a
drink. And so we talked about that,

1116
01:25:03.199 --> 01:25:06.479
and it's like, so why is
that your go to? Why is

1117
01:25:06.560 --> 01:25:11.119
that you're coping? You know?
And he's like, because it numbs it,

1118
01:25:11.199 --> 01:25:14.159
like you were talking about earlier,
It numbs the feeling. Now,

1119
01:25:14.239 --> 01:25:18.319
that's what I'm talking about about avoiding
the issue. I'm not saying you need

1120
01:25:18.399 --> 01:25:23.319
to discuss the issue. I'm not
saying you even need to go to what

1121
01:25:23.520 --> 01:25:28.399
the issue might be. But clearly
you're showing a behavior that's telling me,

1122
01:25:29.359 --> 01:25:35.199
whatever issue you have, you're not
dealing with it. You're not coping with

1123
01:25:35.359 --> 01:25:41.920
it in a healthy way. You're
you know, avoiding on purpose. Because

1124
01:25:41.920 --> 01:25:45.720
that's what COVID taught us. And
people don't understand that I have COVID right

1125
01:25:45.760 --> 01:25:47.840
now, By the way, that's
why I look like shit, But you

1126
01:25:47.920 --> 01:25:59.880
always look like that. Oh well, flex dropped the bomb. You know.

1127
01:26:00.159 --> 01:26:10.000
I love you. Care young,
how people are you know, even

1128
01:26:10.079 --> 01:26:13.960
culturally? You know, when growing
up, I'm always told you know,

1129
01:26:14.159 --> 01:26:15.920
you got to keep your mind busy. You got to always have a smile

1130
01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:19.920
on your face even when you know
there's so many things happening. You got

1131
01:26:20.039 --> 01:26:25.319
to pretend to be okay, right, take it till you make it COVID

1132
01:26:25.479 --> 01:26:30.960
taught us that all of those people
that were doing that. Now you're forced

1133
01:26:30.279 --> 01:26:36.439
to be isolated with yourself and those
demons that you keep trying to put to

1134
01:26:36.560 --> 01:26:43.319
the side because you don't want to
deal with the pain that comes with resolving

1135
01:26:43.399 --> 01:26:47.079
it. Right, So, now
people were forced to deal with their thoughts,

1136
01:26:47.479 --> 01:26:51.640
their feelings, and they had nowhere
else to go to deal with that.

1137
01:26:51.880 --> 01:26:55.560
So, unfortunately, a lot of
people were taking their own lives,

1138
01:26:55.920 --> 01:26:59.640
a lot of people were ending up
in institutions, a lot of people were

1139
01:26:59.680 --> 01:27:02.720
hurting themselves. It's because, again, the only way out of a problem

1140
01:27:03.279 --> 01:27:09.600
is through it. So sometimes we
got to be uncomfortable to be comfortable.

1141
01:27:10.439 --> 01:27:12.800
That doesn't mean you got to talk
to me. That doesn't mean you got

1142
01:27:12.920 --> 01:27:15.760
to talk to your mom, that
doesn't mean you got to talk to anybody

1143
01:27:15.560 --> 01:27:20.960
you know, just willy nilly,
But you do, in some way,

1144
01:27:21.039 --> 01:27:26.600
shape or fashion, have to deal
with those traumatic events, even if you

1145
01:27:26.640 --> 01:27:30.560
don't share it with another person.
You still got to find a way to

1146
01:27:30.720 --> 01:27:34.479
become self aware and deal with those
demons even within themself. You know what,

1147
01:27:35.840 --> 01:27:39.720
you know, I think I think
like they're saying during the COVID lockdown,

1148
01:27:40.560 --> 01:27:43.239
Yeah, I drank. I drank
the most, like I was drinking

1149
01:27:43.279 --> 01:27:45.119
at twelve o'clock. I couldn't take
it, you know what I'm saying,

1150
01:27:47.760 --> 01:27:50.000
bro, You know what, like
there was first off, you know what,

1151
01:27:50.159 --> 01:27:54.680
there was no there was really no
you know what I'm saying. There

1152
01:27:54.760 --> 01:27:58.239
was no sense of time, Like
yeah, like you know what I'm saying,

1153
01:27:58.279 --> 01:28:00.479
Like everybody, you know what I'm
saying, everbody, And though it's

1154
01:28:00.479 --> 01:28:02.560
the only time I knew it was
seven o'clock is when like people were banging

1155
01:28:02.600 --> 01:28:05.399
the pants and shit for the nurses
and shit. But you know what,

1156
01:28:05.479 --> 01:28:08.560
the liquor store was open for like
an X amount of hours. So I

1157
01:28:08.560 --> 01:28:13.920
would rent to the liquor store like
you know what, Like there was nobody

1158
01:28:14.000 --> 01:28:16.119
outside, but I was outside because
I couldn't stand being the doors. Like

1159
01:28:16.359 --> 01:28:18.079
I was like, Yo, you
know what, this is a bullshit and

1160
01:28:18.159 --> 01:28:24.079
this quarantine shit is corny. I
can't do it no more, you know,

1161
01:28:24.239 --> 01:28:28.960
Like I would move my car to
rideing around just fu take of riding

1162
01:28:29.000 --> 01:28:31.159
it around because you know what,
I knew for the fact, I knew

1163
01:28:31.199 --> 01:28:34.000
for a fact that my parking spot
was gonna be there. There was nobody

1164
01:28:34.079 --> 01:28:39.359
outside, like I felt like,
you know like Will Smith and I am

1165
01:28:39.439 --> 01:28:42.479
legend. When I've seen there's walking
up the block going like towards the Hudson

1166
01:28:42.560 --> 01:28:45.960
River, I was like, yo, I am legend, but I was

1167
01:28:45.079 --> 01:28:48.239
drunk as hell anyways, I was
like, come here, bambine, come

1168
01:28:48.279 --> 01:28:51.439
here. Bad. But you know, do you also know that that's when

1169
01:28:51.520 --> 01:28:58.640
the world began to feel itself,
like the O zone was practically repaired.

1170
01:28:59.760 --> 01:29:05.039
Yeah, like the world was,
the physical world was healing. And you

1171
01:29:05.079 --> 01:29:08.880
know what, And that comes to
show that comes to show me that,

1172
01:29:09.039 --> 01:29:12.199
you know what, man Like,
we're here talking about finding viruses when us

1173
01:29:12.319 --> 01:29:17.199
humans, we are the virus.
Yeah. Yeah, but if we don't

1174
01:29:17.239 --> 01:29:25.199
try to fix ourselves, if we
don't try to seek treatment in whatever way

1175
01:29:25.319 --> 01:29:28.760
that looks, then we're never going
to get better. So you're talking about

1176
01:29:28.800 --> 01:29:33.399
like the trauma, the alcoholism,
Yes, those things can be hereditary.

1177
01:29:33.640 --> 01:29:36.960
But you know what, we also
have the power to stop the cycle.

1178
01:29:39.479 --> 01:29:42.000
You know. That's the you know, you know what, that's the least

1179
01:29:42.680 --> 01:29:45.560
of you know what I'm saying when
it comes to humanity as a whole,

1180
01:29:45.640 --> 01:29:47.920
that's the least of like you know
what I'm saying that that's like, you

1181
01:29:47.960 --> 01:29:50.520
know what I'm saying the smallest tip
of the I that's like, you know

1182
01:29:50.520 --> 01:29:54.800
what I'm saying, the spectas snow
on the iceberg. Yeah, but if

1183
01:29:54.800 --> 01:29:58.520
we don't start somewhere, we're never
going to start. If nothing changes,

1184
01:29:58.640 --> 01:30:01.600
nothing changes. That's true. But
you know what though, I mean,

1185
01:30:02.239 --> 01:30:05.159
it's always you know what, It's
always gonna be a it's always a power

1186
01:30:05.239 --> 01:30:10.840
hung what I'm saying, power being
power hungry and greed. Yep, you

1187
01:30:10.920 --> 01:30:15.000
know, at the end of the
day, I mean, but see,

1188
01:30:15.199 --> 01:30:20.000
let me the difference between us is
that I live in this world, but

1189
01:30:20.159 --> 01:30:24.520
I am not of this world.
I'm in the world, but I'm not

1190
01:30:24.680 --> 01:30:29.520
of it. Just because my neighbor
chooses to do whatever they choose to do

1191
01:30:29.680 --> 01:30:32.680
doesn't mean that I have to choose
that. No. Absolutely, I have

1192
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:38.399
the power over my life and I
am going to be the change that I

1193
01:30:38.600 --> 01:30:43.279
want to see in the world.
Yes, I'm one person versus millions.

1194
01:30:44.119 --> 01:30:49.119
However, in the millions of rock
fans. Sorry, you know I heard

1195
01:30:49.159 --> 01:30:53.479
that and I have to add on
to it. Go ahead, But in

1196
01:30:53.600 --> 01:30:58.600
my little bubble of a world,
I'm happy. You know people. You

1197
01:30:58.680 --> 01:31:01.439
know, people could say what they
want about me. The truth is I

1198
01:31:01.560 --> 01:31:06.720
have peace beyond understanding, and can't
nobody have that if you're not willing to

1199
01:31:06.840 --> 01:31:11.960
do what it takes to get that. You know, so people all about

1200
01:31:12.079 --> 01:31:15.479
chasing this mighty dollar. If I
died tomorrow, I don't. I'm not

1201
01:31:15.640 --> 01:31:18.680
rich, I ain't got no money. I'm in debt. But the truth

1202
01:31:18.840 --> 01:31:25.079
is I can say I had a
good life. I didn't do traveling,

1203
01:31:25.279 --> 01:31:28.880
I didn't get to but I still
had a good life because I made it.

1204
01:31:29.039 --> 01:31:33.039
So. I come from a long
line of abusers. I stopped that

1205
01:31:33.199 --> 01:31:39.560
cycle. I'm one of seven children, the only one graduated high school and

1206
01:31:39.840 --> 01:31:44.680
went to college. I stopped the
cycle. Although I'm a single parent,

1207
01:31:45.399 --> 01:31:49.359
I was married. I stopped that
cycle. You know, like we all

1208
01:31:49.479 --> 01:31:55.720
have the power to change something in
our lives, or to us to try

1209
01:31:55.800 --> 01:32:00.239
to do it. You know,
better late than never. But if if

1210
01:32:00.359 --> 01:32:06.000
nobody tries, then nothing's ever gonna
happen. Boom. It's a great way

1211
01:32:06.439 --> 01:32:11.800
drop that I wish I had to
remember remember that sound that soundball we had

1212
01:32:12.720 --> 01:32:15.079
we had, that we had all
the different sounds, and that we can

1213
01:32:15.239 --> 01:32:17.399
use to get that to find that
thing. Man, there's something like that.

1214
01:32:17.479 --> 01:32:20.600
I think it should Yeah, the
plug in that we can use to

1215
01:32:21.079 --> 01:32:29.399
drop remember that. Yeah, we
had all the sound effects and ship hey

1216
01:32:29.439 --> 01:32:32.119
you know what, you know like
we used to you know, we used

1217
01:32:32.119 --> 01:32:40.359
to episode called Sipping Sundays. Oh
no, the people could listen to them

1218
01:32:40.399 --> 01:32:43.279
ships. They're up and and and
and and you know what, like I

1219
01:32:43.319 --> 01:32:46.560
would start off sober and you could
tell when things change, I just start

1220
01:32:46.600 --> 01:32:50.359
getting because like you know what my
mom just got It was sipping Saturday and

1221
01:32:50.439 --> 01:32:56.199
sober Sunday. Yeah, you know
like like like you know what, like

1222
01:32:56.680 --> 01:33:00.239
like you know what, like like
like no saying I've been knocking and my

1223
01:33:00.279 --> 01:33:03.880
whole or just was reckless to the
point where I just did not care who

1224
01:33:04.560 --> 01:33:13.159
who got offended. Yeah, we
know like what I know, I know

1225
01:33:13.359 --> 01:33:15.399
you know what I'm saying. Yo. There was one thing that like I

1226
01:33:15.520 --> 01:33:19.600
heard of myself when I said it, right, and I don't think I

1227
01:33:19.640 --> 01:33:24.039
want to hear it now because you
know, I'm not drinking no more.

1228
01:33:24.079 --> 01:33:27.000
But like it was like we're talking
about the World Trade Center and stuff,

1229
01:33:27.079 --> 01:33:30.960
right Oh yeah, yeah, I
remember, I clearly remember what you're going

1230
01:33:31.039 --> 01:33:35.000
to what you said that up?
Yo? Anyway? Yo? Yo?

1231
01:33:35.079 --> 01:33:40.520
What yeah, you know what and
it was like like you know, like

1232
01:33:40.720 --> 01:33:43.119
like like I kind of remember when
I said think it's weird because I was.

1233
01:33:43.199 --> 01:33:45.640
I don't remember anything else, but
I kind of remember that part,

1234
01:33:45.680 --> 01:33:48.520
right, and like you know what, Like, you know, honestly,

1235
01:33:48.560 --> 01:33:50.920
I'm kind of disgusted with that.
And I hope I hope you know what

1236
01:33:50.920 --> 01:33:54.960
I'm saying, Like, I hope
no one else finds that part, you

1237
01:33:55.039 --> 01:33:58.880
know what I'm saying, like finds
that. I hope you know I'm saying

1238
01:33:59.000 --> 01:34:02.000
about it now. It's motivation,
it's motivation never to return to that place.

1239
01:34:02.600 --> 01:34:06.680
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, you know, but like but like yeah,

1240
01:34:06.720 --> 01:34:12.760
you know, and yeah, this
is like what like five or six years

1241
01:34:12.800 --> 01:34:15.359
ago or something like that. No, it was long. Yeah, it

1242
01:34:15.439 --> 01:34:17.239
was a while ago, bro.
Yeah, you know that we started,

1243
01:34:17.319 --> 01:34:21.680
we started we've started in twenty seventeen
and then COVID hit in twenty nineteen.

1244
01:34:21.800 --> 01:34:26.039
Because we were trying. We were
twenty twelve. Yeah, we were trying.

1245
01:34:26.159 --> 01:34:29.000
We were trying. We were trying
to figure out how to work everything.

1246
01:34:29.079 --> 01:34:31.119
Remember we were in yeah, like
you know, to be in the

1247
01:34:31.359 --> 01:34:34.039
same room at the same time,
and then we we were trying to work

1248
01:34:34.079 --> 01:34:38.039
it out. And yeah, and
and and the lady g knows because she

1249
01:34:38.199 --> 01:34:42.640
was she's been there from the jump. Yeah, trying like you know what

1250
01:34:42.640 --> 01:34:44.720
I'm saying, like like like yo, you know, we're trying to like

1251
01:34:44.760 --> 01:34:46.960
you know, like get the same
schedule and all that stuff. You know,

1252
01:34:47.199 --> 01:34:54.159
yeah, like stuff. Now we're
good, bron Yeah, you know,

1253
01:34:54.279 --> 01:34:57.840
like like you know, we do
a little late night thing here and

1254
01:34:57.920 --> 01:35:01.079
there, you know, like you
know what I'm saying, like this summertime,

1255
01:35:01.199 --> 01:35:06.000
so yeah, I think, yo, you know what I think,

1256
01:35:06.119 --> 01:35:09.159
like you know, during the fall, like we should you know what I'm

1257
01:35:09.159 --> 01:35:12.319
saying, Like we gonna talk about
that later. Yeah yeah, yeah,

1258
01:35:12.399 --> 01:35:15.840
much later, much later. Yeah, we'll talk about that later anyway.

1259
01:35:15.600 --> 01:35:19.119
But you know what, but I
still get up at four in the morning

1260
01:35:19.479 --> 01:35:24.760
while you guys want me to be
up at eleven to one. So that's

1261
01:35:24.840 --> 01:35:28.640
commitment. I just want you to
know that, Yes, it is absolute

1262
01:35:28.760 --> 01:35:32.760
morning. Absolutely the only time I
get before in the morning is go pee.

1263
01:35:35.479 --> 01:35:39.000
All right. Well with that,
with that, with that, with

1264
01:35:39.199 --> 01:35:44.920
that statement for Lady g with that
being said, yeah for real, Yeah,

1265
01:35:45.279 --> 01:35:47.199
it's yeah, we're good. I
mean good episode. You know what

1266
01:35:47.199 --> 01:35:49.520
I'm saying. I mean, we
we we did our thing once again.

1267
01:35:50.119 --> 01:35:54.960
You know what I'm saying. I'm
big Colon, that's Lady G that's dubbed

1268
01:35:55.000 --> 01:35:59.800
it down a k A. Simon
Phoenix aka Jizzy Epstein a k A I

1269
01:36:00.039 --> 01:36:11.319
all the Yeah. So with that
being said, just always remember that at

1270
01:36:11.399 --> 01:36:15.600
some point, all right, I
thought you guys are gonna leave me hanging

1271
01:36:15.600 --> 01:36:20.359
out. That would have been sucked
up. But you know what it is,

1272
01:36:20.479 --> 01:36:24.520
man, Like yo, you know
what it is because I know I

1273
01:36:24.640 --> 01:36:27.399
know little Mom is gonna be waking
about six in the morning. Yeah,

1274
01:36:27.560 --> 01:36:30.600
I don't know. I'm trying my
best. You know, I don't feel

1275
01:36:30.640 --> 01:36:34.079
well at all. I gotta get
my take, not no doubt. Bro.

1276
01:36:34.199 --> 01:36:38.079
You know what I'm saying. What
you gotta do, bro man,

1277
01:36:39.560 --> 01:36:43.119
taking care of yourself, dude.
Yeah, Man, I don't know where

1278
01:36:43.760 --> 01:36:47.000
I got this ship from. Bro. Anyway, it was all the present

1279
01:36:47.079 --> 01:36:54.399
benefits. Okay, all right,
well, well talk, we'll talk.

1280
01:36:54.479 --> 01:36:59.520
People's everybody stay, but everybody stays
safe. God bless you guys. Man.

1281
01:36:59.640 --> 01:37:01.359
That some point, like I said
this met her. Good night everybody,

1282
01:37:01.960 --> 01:37:06.159
Good night Old