Dec. 9, 2024

What's Most Important To You? (Recorded LIVE on 12-4-24)

What's Most Important To You? (Recorded LIVE on 12-4-24)

What's most important to you at this point of our life? We'll discuss some of what's important to us, Just keep in mind that at some point This Might Hurt!!

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What's most important to you at this point of our life? We'll discuss some of what's important to us, Just keep in mind that at some point This Might Hurt!!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/this-might-hurt-podcast--3239767/support.

WEBVTT

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Sa Sa Sa Sa, Say.

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He what's up everybody? He's been cold to you after

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this My Heart podcast coming to you live. Hold on,

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I'm out of focus. Gotta get in focused. Gotta get

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in focus, all right and focus then bringing my co

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host Lady G. How are you, Lady G? Hello? Okay,

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maybe she's away right now, but that's okay, that's okay.

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So how's everybody's week been? How's everybody doing? Let me

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see hold on one second, yeah, maybe she stepped away

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or something. So as far as everything goes, everybody's doing good,

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everybody's feeling okay. It's is the post Thanksgiving Shenanigan's episode,

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you know what I'm saying. Hold on, let me all right,

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So they gotta meet a mic real quick, so I

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don't know what's going on over there. So with that

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being said, and you guys, hey guys, we've been busy

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Christmas shopping. It's been crazy. We're doing good. We're doing good. Amanda.

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I'm I'm you know what it. I'm so I'm so

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glad that you still take the time to hit us

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up because I know, I know you have a busy, busy,

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busy life and everything, and you know can you can

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you hear me? By the way, just real quick, do

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a sound check, make sure. All right? That was funny,

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that was funny. Yeah, because I didn't. I didn't. I

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didn't hear I introduced you and everything, and.

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Oh really I didn't. I didn't hear nothing.

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You didn't hear nothing at all. No, Wow, I introduced you.

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I was like, Lady G blah blah blah blah blah,

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and you didn't say a word.

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Oh, because I didn't hear you. I didn't hear nothing.

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I'm sitting here looking at you. I'm like, what's going on?

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Oh all right, my bad. Maybe maybe my my mich

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was acting stupid. I don't know. But anyway, yeah, amn,

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I can hear it. But Amanda, now I'm gonna I'm gonna,

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I'm gonna tell you this. Lady G was one of

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the very very very first fans of the show. Amanda

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was one of the very very very first fans of

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the show. Mm hmm, she's she's. She was actually the

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first fan of the show that got some banging merch

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from us when we had we had that we have

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the hats and the lanyards and all the other stuff

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and everything. We sent her a care package with merch

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from the show, and to this day she hits us

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up and I'm amazed at And you know.

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What's so funny. I'm on the show. I never got any.

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Merch I'm gonna I'm gonna right, got me, you got me?

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All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna

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get you. I'm gonna get you a T shirt. I

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gotta I got a couple of T shirts day I got.

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I gotta get you one. I gotta, I gotta, I

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gotta get one. I gotta get one to you. I

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gotta get one to you.

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I was a fan. Now I'm a co host and

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I never gotten no merchandise.

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M I apologize. We'll definitely get you a bunch of

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We got a bunch of I got a bunch of ship.

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I got a bunch of ship. I just I'll get

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you some ship. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

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All right? Could you send me hugs and boxes?

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Yes, yes, definitely, definitely. Let's see thank you. We we

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we appreciate it. We appreciate it, no doubt about it,

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no doubt about it. Yeah. So, so, lady, g how

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was how was How was your week? How was you know?

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You know what?

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I can't complain. Let me tell you. I'm blessed my Thanksgiving.

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Unfortunately I was alone. It was my my kids year

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with father, so uh I was a little sad. But

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I gotta get used to it because she's getting off

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the college, so I'm gonna be alone anyway. But it

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was good. I mean, I said, I took some time

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for myself, started, you know, cleaning some things up to

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decorate for Christmas, had me a wa wa Turkey Bowl nice,

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and just watched some movies. Yeah, watch some Christmas movies.

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You watch anything interesting like what?

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Well, before my daughter left, we watched some of the

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Old uh I think we were talking about it last show,

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the Old Claymation. Oh, Rudolph and Frosty and and Santa

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coming to town and yeah, all right, stuff like that.

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Yeah. March the Wooden Soldiers is always a good one.

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What's that?

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You've never seen babes in Toyland? March? It wouldn't?

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Yes, and Toyland I did.

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Yeah, Yeah, that's always a good one, you know. They

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I was I was thinking too. I was sitting here

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and I was saying to myself damn, you know did

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and and Thanksgiving was was good. I had I had

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a nice time. You know, I spent it. I spent

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it with the kids and stuff and everything, so it

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was cool. You know, did you know that men will

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arrive in heaven thirty minutes before women do? Did you

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know that?

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I had no clue?

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Yeah?

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When did you hear that?

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I read it in Revelations eight one, when the game

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of Heaven, when he opened up the seventh seal, the

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gates of Heaven opened and there was silence for the

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first thirty minutes.

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Wow, you're funny.

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I I had, I had to it was it was hey,

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you know, sometimes you gotta try and be at least.

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You know.

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So anyway, what I would also, besides the stupid joke

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that probably went over a lot of stupid the stupid

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joke that went over a couple of heads, we was

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we was usually we we broadcast on Twitch, which is

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another platform that we we really don't get a lot

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of a lot of a lot of play on. But

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I had the option to put it on on Twitter

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instead of Twitch, so I twitched it to x which

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is Twitter. But it's a there's an exclamation point next

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to it, and I don't know why. I don't think

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it's being broadcast. Watch the Arc and the Darkness?

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Is that about?

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Yeah? What is it about? Let us know the Arc

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and the Darkness.

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It doesn't sound christmasy to.

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Me, It really doesn't. Yeah, so yeah, we're not we're not.

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I don't think we're broadcast. I think we're just on

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on on Facebook and YouTube right now. I don't think

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it's working on that that that Twitter ship or whatever.

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We we don't. I can give three ships about you know,

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you got your mic off right, yep, all right, my bad,

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all right, so in your ears that's right now. We

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can do without that. We can do without that. So

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so now, yep, how do you How do you like

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do you pay attention to zodiac signs like astrology and

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shit like that?

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Somewhat? Yeah, Like, I, because I am a Christian, I

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don't put a lot of like I don't want to

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say belief, Like I don't follow it real close, Like

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I don't do the stars and all that, but I

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do see how you know, signs and personality characteristics things

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like that, Like I do feel like a lot of

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those things hold truth for most people in the the

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zodiac signs. So I do enjoy it, you know, more

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like entertainment type stuff. But it's not something I subscribe

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to or you know.

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So so here here is some entertainment besides, I mean,

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let me bring them bring dubs in. That was good. Okay,

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you're good.

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I can't hear him, yeah I can't.

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All right. So for some entertainment, for entertainment purposes only,

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I have.

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Uh, each one of our signs.

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No, no, no, actually I should, I should, I should

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actually I should actually look I should actually look that up.

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Yeah I hear you now, all right, but all right,

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So for entertainment purposes only, I have the top three

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most handsome zodiac signs and the top three ugliest less

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attractive zodie signs.

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Is this just for men?

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For men? Okay, yeah, for men. So the number the

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number three most handsome zodiac sign is Leo.

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And the house.

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Yeah, but you're not a dude.

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I don't have to be a dude. I'm still sexy.

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She's a handsome female.

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And number the number three less attractive is Virgo.

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That's right right there. That's a hundred right there.

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Word so.

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My brother and my ex husband, Oh shit.

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All right.

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And then number two for the most handsome is Scorpio.

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My brother rest in peace. Mm.

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And then for the.

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And and and the funny thing is that you know

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I'm saying. You mentioned Leo, and that's my other brother,

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the one in Texas, all right. And then.

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And then for the less attractive, Number two is Capricorn.

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Damn, my dad.

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As said, she disagrees, okay.

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And and and that's and and that's okay, and to

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disagree is okay. And then the number one most handsome

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zodiac sign is Libra.

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Shout out to me already, know you know, you know what, bro?

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First off, you know what I'm saying, Like you know

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what I mean, Like I mean what they're not to like,

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I mean, just look at us and anybody born under

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the lib bremon, you know what I mean, Like, come on, man,

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And no, no, And.

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The least attractive zodiac sign is Aquarius.

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Tell me that's not you.

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No, that's not that's not me. That's not me at all.

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That's not me at all. My name is even on

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any of these any of these lists, any of these

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top three lists. So so it's Leo, Scorpio, Libra, and

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then Virgo Capricorn Aquarius.

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Yeah, yo, that that that right there just said like

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my like my whole my whole sibling lineage. Is I'm

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saying attracted, you know what I mean? And of course

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you know I'm saying I'm leading the way, But why

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wouldn't I what's there not to like? You know what

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I mean?

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You don't even want me to go down the list?

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Bro, you know what, I'm every woman's word dreaming squirt away.

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We had them, you know what I mean?

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This guy an yo, you know like like like yo,

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you know what turn you out to pokemon squirrel anyway,

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So now, yes, sir, yes, I'm big headed like babies

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with down syndrome right now, why not you know, squirdling.

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So the Also what I did with I looked up

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some some best dad worst dad zodiac signs. It's about today.

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This is about the dudes, because why no, because you're

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your your your your other thought. You gotta be here.

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You're the media.

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You're the one that's gonna break it down for us.

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I'm in a central employee.

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You had a buffer, yeah, absolutely, you had a buffet

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to the madness.

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So so Aris is one of the worst fathers out there.

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Taurus is one of the best fathers out there. Gemini

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is one is one of the worst fathers out there,

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Answer is one of the best ones. Cancer, Leo, Virgo,

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and Libra are the best, some of the best fathers.

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Oh damn right we are, you know what I mean?

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Like, and then Scorpio and Sargitarius are some of the

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worst fathers. And then Capricorn is a good father, Aquarius

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is one of the worst fathers, and Pisces is one

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of the best fathers.

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Pat yourself on the shoulder, big though, what is December sixteenth?

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What china is that?

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I think?

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And then one of the worst ones, right, one.

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Of the worst ones. Yeah, yeah, yep, Sitary is one

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of the worst.

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So my worst father.

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Oh wow, all right, yeah, so that that was some

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of that. But I mean sometimes people what they do

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is they they look up compatibility, and sometimes.

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It's like like, like, yo, that's just crazy.

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I do look up compatibility because I mean, like I said,

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I do, I do believe a lot of the traits

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that I've seen so far seem pretty true to form.

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So I mean again, I don't put much stock, but

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you know, it is entertaining and I like to, you know,

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to read it and see you know what it says, but.

237
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Well I don't, but I don't like it's like how

238
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like how like women you know what I'm saying, they

239
00:19:10.279 --> 00:19:12.240
really take it like over boards like Yo, you know what,

240
00:19:12.279 --> 00:19:14.880
I'm a whore because I'm a Scorpio. No, but it's

241
00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:16.839
your horror because you're a whore. You know what I'm saying.

242
00:19:17.119 --> 00:19:18.839
You know what I mean? Like same thing with dudes.

243
00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:20.599
You know what I'm saying. They try to do. Oh yeah,

244
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you know what, I have cheating ways. I'm a male

245
00:19:23.319 --> 00:19:25.880
horror because you know what I'm saying, I'm a you

246
00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:28.799
know I do this that. No, you're just n asshole.

247
00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:31.519
Just admit it. You know what I'm saying. Your zodiac

248
00:19:31.559 --> 00:19:34.680
son has nothing to do that. You being a freaking

249
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:39.440
horror asshole pivot. You know what I'm saying. That's on you. You

250
00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:41.599
know what I'm saying, Work on that, you know, Like,

251
00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:43.480
don't use your Zoda son as a cop out.

252
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No, the zodiac tendencies, but we as human beings and

253
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adults are responsible for our choices.

254
00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:57.759
Oh, absolutely, absolutely, You're right, Absolutely right. I wanted I

255
00:19:57.759 --> 00:20:02.039
wanted to get on the topic that is gonna that

256
00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:05.480
might you know, rub a little bit of feathers here,

257
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but I want to talk about it, and we're going

258
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to talk about it. I want to talk about masculine

259
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tendencies in some women.

260
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Oh you know what, I was just having this conversation today,

261
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were you really? Yes?

262
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I was, all right, So check this out. So I

263
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:36.759
was doing some some some reading, some research, and some

264
00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:43.279
some looking up stuff. And a lot of women. I'm

265
00:20:43.319 --> 00:20:46.200
not saying all women, so please don't come into the

266
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comments section and start your ship, but a lot of women,

267
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some women, I agree, they want the authority of a man. Okay,

268
00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:06.559
they want they want to be able to have some,

269
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not all, responsibility. And then what the perks of being

270
00:21:12.759 --> 00:21:15.519
a woman, all in one shot?

271
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.880
And what are the perks of being a woman, the

272
00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:25.720
the the person a woman. Let's the perks of being

273
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:26.400
a woman.

274
00:21:26.359 --> 00:21:28.519
You know? Okay, So why you say that? Okay, let

275
00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:33.759
me put it this way, right, So, how can I

276
00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:41.240
not be in my masculine energy when I pay my

277
00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:48.720
own bills, cut my own grass, pay for my own car,

278
00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:52.960
take care of my own kids, have my own job.

279
00:21:54.400 --> 00:22:02.200
So mascular energy comes from the idea that a man

280
00:22:02.519 --> 00:22:06.519
is supposed to be the protector, the provider, you know,

281
00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:10.440
hunter and gatherer and things like that. So how can

282
00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:13.640
a woman be in her feminine energy, which is supposed

283
00:22:13.680 --> 00:22:18.920
to be about nurturing, love, you know all those things.

284
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:22.480
How can we not be in our masculine energy when

285
00:22:22.519 --> 00:22:26.839
we are now being required to do all the things

286
00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:30.519
a man is supposed to And I use that with

287
00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:35.000
quotes air quotes supposed to be doing, because let me

288
00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:42.640
tell you something, as a woman who is single.

289
00:22:43.680 --> 00:22:48.680
See now that's the thing, that's the thing. Single. When

290
00:22:48.680 --> 00:22:49.039
I was.

291
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:54.559
Married, No I shouldn't have been, but I was. When

292
00:22:54.559 --> 00:23:01.759
I was. Even when I was, I was, I was

293
00:23:01.799 --> 00:23:05.839
still the one putting together play sets by myself. I

294
00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:10.000
was the one cutting grass, I was the one taking

295
00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:13.079
care of the home. I was the one working two

296
00:23:13.160 --> 00:23:15.079
three jobs you know.

297
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:19.160
Like so he was in a lesbian relationship. You didn't

298
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:24.640
know you know what? Stop stop not because like yo,

299
00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:27.359
you know what, like I'm dead as serious yo, like

300
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:29.559
like look you know what, like look I'm you know

301
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:31.000
what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying, Like I

302
00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:34.799
can't I can't do that, yo, yo, yo, you know what?

303
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.200
Like me, you know what I'm saying, like like me,

304
00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:38.720
you know what I'm saying, Like like Yo, you know what?

305
00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:41.240
Like like yo, you know what? To me? That's to me,

306
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:45.359
that's cringe that you know what I'm saying, Like, Yo,

307
00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:46.960
you know what? All right? You know what I'm saying.

308
00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:49.400
If you're building a playhouse, I'm gonna be helping. You

309
00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:51.039
know what I'm saying. I ain't gonna be laying on

310
00:23:51.079 --> 00:23:52.319
my ass. You know what I'm saying. Oh, you're doing a

311
00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:53.839
good job. Honey. You know what I'm saying, keep up

312
00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:55.799
the good work and be a fuck out of it.

313
00:23:56.079 --> 00:23:57.279
You know what I'm saying. What kind of man? Is

314
00:23:57.319 --> 00:23:59.400
that what I'm saying? Like like see, like yo, you

315
00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:01.640
know what? And know you know what? And it be

316
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:04.720
those type of dudes that want to be called alpha males.

317
00:24:05.319 --> 00:24:06.359
You know what I'm saying. But yet, you know what

318
00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:07.960
I'm saying, you don't want to you know what I'm saying,

319
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.759
Like you don't want to like get your hands dirty.

320
00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:12.400
You know what I'm saying. Nah, bro, See that's cringe

321
00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:14.839
to me. You know what I'm saying. I'm that as serious.

322
00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:16.160
That is cringe to me.

323
00:24:16.759 --> 00:24:21.359
You know what I'm saying, God, God, God, God.

324
00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:28.039
In my almost fifty years of life, I have never

325
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:30.839
you know, I'm not gonna say never, because I'm sure

326
00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:32.880
this is one or two times. But I have hardly

327
00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:39.000
ever been able to live in feminine energy because nobody's

328
00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:43.759
ever taken care of me but me. My mother died

329
00:24:43.799 --> 00:24:46.200
twenty three years ago, and that was the last person

330
00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:53.359
that ever did a darn thing for me, and I

331
00:24:53.400 --> 00:24:56.480
was married for sixteen years.

332
00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:01.240
I like to s say something real quick, like look,

333
00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:03.880
you know what, I grew up with the two You

334
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:05.720
know what I'm saying, two family household, And I seen

335
00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:06.119
my dad.

336
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:09.319
I'm sayhold, yeah.

337
00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:12.599
Two, yeah, I had two parent household. Whoopsies, right, and

338
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:14.839
I see my dad like, you know, shoulder. You know

339
00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:17.319
what I'm saying, shoulder, You know what I'm saying, The brunner.

340
00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:18.960
We're seeing the brunner of the bills and everything.

341
00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:19.920
Right.

342
00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:24.279
When we got old enough, my mom decided that she

343
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:27.799
was going to go to school and she became a

344
00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:32.359
teacher for head Start. So that was her decision. Like

345
00:25:32.440 --> 00:25:33.960
my dad was like, yo, you know what, you could

346
00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:37.079
do what you want, but my mom decided to you

347
00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:41.000
know what I'm saying, work towards a dream that I

348
00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:42.640
kind of you know what I'm saying, I kind of

349
00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:45.000
messed up like early. You know what I'm saying, Like

350
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:46.799
whatever dreams they had, I kind of like, you know,

351
00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:49.519
you know, put it down to their little dream that.

352
00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:56.920
You know. However, my dad, right, he basically you know

353
00:25:56.920 --> 00:25:59.640
what I'm saying with shoulder and everything, and that's what

354
00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:02.680
I look that So you know what I'm saying, Like

355
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:05.319
that's the reason why I said, Yo, that shit is

356
00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:07.240
cringe to me, you.

357
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:07.559
Know, like.

358
00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:11.759
Not you know, like you know what I'm saying, like

359
00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:14.319
having a woman show the most of the work. However

360
00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:17.079
we're talking like you know what I'm saying, This was

361
00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:20.400
like in the eighties when things were still affordable. Now,

362
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:23.240
but then you know what I'm saying, Like with the

363
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:28.000
way the economy is now, you know, like you need

364
00:26:28.039 --> 00:26:29.920
at least like two or three jobs to like you

365
00:26:29.960 --> 00:26:33.319
know what I'm saying, just for rent, especially around here.

366
00:26:34.519 --> 00:26:36.759
You know, like let's be realistic. You know what I'm saying,

367
00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:38.559
Like Jersey, you know what I'm saying, Like where we're at,

368
00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:40.079
you know what I'm saying in the state. You know

369
00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:43.839
what I'm saying, Like the property taxes crazy, rent is crazy.

370
00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:46.720
The closes the closer you live to a metro area,

371
00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:49.680
you know what I'm saying, to a major city, the

372
00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:51.279
more you're going to pay, you know what I'm saying.

373
00:26:51.319 --> 00:26:53.200
The closer you live the transportation, the more you're gonna

374
00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:56.519
public transportation, like if it's accessible, the more you're going

375
00:26:56.559 --> 00:26:59.079
to pay. You know, Like this is the area that

376
00:26:59.079 --> 00:27:02.519
we're at. So like you know what I'm saying, Like

377
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:04.240
I'm talking about like you know what I'm saying today,

378
00:27:04.279 --> 00:27:04.400
You know.

379
00:27:04.359 --> 00:27:04.839
What I'm saying.

380
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:11.680
What it is now, you know, So to what I'm

381
00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:12.839
trying to say is like you know what I'm saying,

382
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:15.480
women around here in this everything they have no other choice,

383
00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:18.799
you know what I'm saying, because like it's only back

384
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:21.839
in the day where you know, like like you know

385
00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:25.440
what I'm saying, shouldered, you know what I'm saying. All

386
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:27.920
the bills and you know, mortgage and all that extra shit.

387
00:27:28.680 --> 00:27:30.480
You know what I'm saying.

388
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:34.960
Everything, everything's expensive, Everything's highly expensive.

389
00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:38.160
Yeah, But I don't think that that's about the masculine

390
00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:42.680
or feminine energy, because there can be a h a

391
00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:46.079
two person household where both people are working and doing

392
00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:50.160
all that, but the man is still taking care of

393
00:27:50.279 --> 00:27:54.839
her as a woman and vice versa. So she could

394
00:27:54.839 --> 00:27:57.599
because also it's not even just about money. It's about

395
00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:04.200
safety and security and feeling loved and supported, you know,

396
00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:06.319
like things like that. Because let me tell you something,

397
00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:09.839
as a woman, if I feel safe, right, if I

398
00:28:09.880 --> 00:28:12.799
feel like we're out on the street and you're not

399
00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:15.599
gonna let not that you got to beat everybody up,

400
00:28:15.640 --> 00:28:18.319
but if you are going to go down fighting for me,

401
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:21.440
that allows me to feel safe.

402
00:28:21.559 --> 00:28:23.480
If you're if you.

403
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:28.880
Were going to be vulnerable with me behind closed doors,

404
00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:32.920
that helps me to trust you. If you're going to

405
00:28:33.079 --> 00:28:38.279
include me in your life decisions and your daily you know,

406
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:42.839
tasks and you know, just your day to day stuff,

407
00:28:43.240 --> 00:28:46.000
that's going to make me feel secure, you know, if

408
00:28:46.039 --> 00:28:48.640
you're going to tell me how you feel about me,

409
00:28:48.759 --> 00:28:53.319
if you're going to you know, do little things for me,

410
00:28:53.640 --> 00:28:55.680
like you know why, honey, I really love it when

411
00:28:55.720 --> 00:28:58.240
you get your nails done. Here is some money go

412
00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:02.119
to the salon. Right, It's not about well for me anyway.

413
00:29:02.200 --> 00:29:06.759
It's not about needing anyone to take care of me

414
00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:11.000
or to do these things for me. It's about having

415
00:29:11.319 --> 00:29:16.400
the man being his masculine energy and want to do

416
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:19.079
those things, not that he has to, but that he

417
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:19.880
wants to.

418
00:29:21.240 --> 00:29:24.359
Right, But what what happens when you deal when you're

419
00:29:24.359 --> 00:29:27.039
dealing with a woman who has too much masculine energy

420
00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:30.839
where she she gets she gets hold on, so she

421
00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:34.920
gets to the point where, say, for instance, you're in

422
00:29:34.960 --> 00:29:39.480
a relationship with this woman, right and you can't do

423
00:29:39.559 --> 00:29:44.759
anything right for some reason, she's so into her her

424
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:48.519
masculine energy that she's she's she's getting rowdy with you,

425
00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:51.079
she's getting in lied with you, she's disrespecting you, she's

426
00:29:51.400 --> 00:29:56.240
she's she's not allowed, she'sld she's not allowing you to

427
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:59.480
be a man. She's trying to be mask. How do

428
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:04.200
you say it? She's trying to you, you know what

429
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.880
I'm saying. How do you? How do you function in

430
00:30:06.920 --> 00:30:09.839
a relationship where a woman is is so into her

431
00:30:09.880 --> 00:30:16.680
fucking into that masculine energy that it's it's unbearable, Like

432
00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:17.680
what do you? What do you do?

433
00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:17.920
Like?

434
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:19.839
You can't? I mean, first of all, you can't. You

435
00:30:19.839 --> 00:30:23.559
can't punch her in the face. No, you can't do that.

436
00:30:24.359 --> 00:30:27.880
Being the man, right, being that man, you have to

437
00:30:28.079 --> 00:30:33.400
understand that what is her, that is her trauma response.

438
00:30:34.440 --> 00:30:39.480
You have to figure out what it was that caused

439
00:30:39.480 --> 00:30:43.400
her to feel that she needed to be in that space. Right,

440
00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:49.000
maybe it is her insecurity that she's going to let

441
00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:52.400
her guard down, try to be a little bit more feminine,

442
00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:56.400
and then something horrible is gonna happen. So, like I've

443
00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:59.799
said in many many shows, we are hurt people hurting people,

444
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:06.519
and a lot of it comes from not wanting to

445
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:13.759
repeat behaviors, not wanting to repeat situations, not being vulnerable. Right,

446
00:31:14.279 --> 00:31:16.680
So now women are being put in a position that

447
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:20.759
they were never put in before, and that is that

448
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:25.759
when they're alone, they're left to have to now provide

449
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:30.160
for themselves. Or they've been hurt so badly by a

450
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:34.000
male in their life to the point where it was

451
00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:36.839
like a constant beating you down, beating you down. So

452
00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:41.079
the way she's reacting to you in this relationship is

453
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:45.519
a traumatic response. It's a trauma response to things that

454
00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:48.759
have happened to her in the past. Like with men,

455
00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:51.880
how the funny thing is, a man will fall in

456
00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:55.960
love with you quicker than a woman. However, a man

457
00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:00.640
will not do it as often as a woman because women.

458
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:05.119
Now, what the question is this? You know what I'm saying,

459
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:11.559
Because like when you say a man falls a love

460
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:15.640
cooker with a woman, I mean two things could be true,

461
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:19.799
two things could be not true with that statement, because

462
00:32:19.799 --> 00:32:22.240
you know what the man if the man had you

463
00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:24.359
know what I'm saying, sexu relations with that woman before

464
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:26.519
you know what I'm saying, did he fall in love

465
00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:28.240
with her? Or he fall in love with just getting

466
00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:28.799
his lot off?

467
00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:31.920
We're talking about that.

468
00:32:32.519 --> 00:32:34.960
But but but but but but but I'm just saying though,

469
00:32:35.079 --> 00:32:37.519
like in a way, in a way, it does kind

470
00:32:37.519 --> 00:32:39.599
of like add in because like that's what makes a man,

471
00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:40.920
you know what I'm saying, think that he's in love

472
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:45.200
because he's letting his dick dictate his heart talking about.

473
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:47.880
It's nothing to do with love. That has nothing to

474
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:48.640
do with love.

475
00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:52.720
I mean this thing.

476
00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:58.559
Love is something you do, not something you feel. Yeah,

477
00:32:58.599 --> 00:33:01.400
that's love is something you feel.

478
00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:06.319
Yeah, you know what. But like most confusable love, you know.

479
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.839
Oh yeah, a lot of people who are not emotionally

480
00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:12.200
intelligent confused that with love. But what I'm saying is

481
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:17.599
a man has the capability to know fairly early on

482
00:33:17.799 --> 00:33:22.799
in a relationship if he has feeling, he'll fall a

483
00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:29.359
lot quicker. However, because of societal norms, he will not

484
00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:32.680
do it as often. So for a man to get

485
00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:38.279
hurt once, maybe twice. Not all men once maybe allow

486
00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:42.079
himself to be in a relationship and love someone twice,

487
00:33:43.079 --> 00:33:48.920
but very few will continue the cycle of being hurt

488
00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:52.759
and then be vulnerable, being hurt them being vulnerable. I

489
00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:56.680
had someone recently tell me that that is something that

490
00:33:56.720 --> 00:34:02.720
they will never be ever again because one person hurt them,

491
00:34:02.799 --> 00:34:08.360
just one you, even you, Dubbs, even you were talking

492
00:34:08.400 --> 00:34:10.800
about how you were treating people, because.

493
00:34:11.119 --> 00:34:13.519
Yeah, yeah, you know what, then then I found out.

494
00:34:13.559 --> 00:34:17.119
Then I found out that I wasn't living.

495
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:20.559
But for you to get to that, definitely, to get

496
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:21.880
to the position where you are, you know what I

497
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:23.320
mean exactly?

498
00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:24.639
You know what I'm saying, like like like, yo, you

499
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:26.320
know what, Yo, you know what? Took a while, but

500
00:34:26.360 --> 00:34:29.639
you know what, that was an inmature approach, yes, but not.

501
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:35.639
Everybody has that emotional intelligence to say, you know what,

502
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:37.159
I think I was thinking wrong.

503
00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:43.000
But how important? How important? How important is emotional intelligence

504
00:34:43.039 --> 00:34:43.960
in the relationship?

505
00:34:44.039 --> 00:34:48.480
Oh my goodness, it is so important because that's about

506
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:55.440
understanding what causes people to feel emotion, what is illogical

507
00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:58.400
and what's illogical and.

508
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:02.599
Just understanding another word, I'm sorry, you know what I'm

509
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:04.559
saying because this one's good. I mean like like to

510
00:35:04.599 --> 00:35:06.760
add on to what you're saying that that's like ninety

511
00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:10.320
percent of a relationship right there, you know, like like

512
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:12.639
to like to me in my opinion, like that's ninety

513
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:18.360
percent of a hundred because it's like, what is the

514
00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:21.920
the understand what I'm saying, the emotional intelligence part, it's

515
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:25.719
ninety percent, you know what I'm saying, because like if

516
00:35:25.719 --> 00:35:27.119
you you know what I'm saying, Like if you're you

517
00:35:27.159 --> 00:35:29.280
know what I'm saying, you emotionally ignorant, you know what

518
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:31.840
I'm saying, then everything is like you know what I'm saying,

519
00:35:31.840 --> 00:35:33.960
Like there's always going to be like a block, you

520
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.320
know what I'm saying when you're trying to communicate it's

521
00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:39.159
your partner and whatever, there's always going to be a block,

522
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:42.320
you know what I'm saying. So it's like it's like,

523
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:45.119
you know what, like to understand somebody else other than yourself,

524
00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:45.960
you know what I'm saying, Like.

525
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:50.360
That's a big deal, huge yo, yo yo.

526
00:35:50.440 --> 00:35:53.119
You know what It's a it's a huge deal because

527
00:35:53.159 --> 00:35:55.039
you know what I'm saying, Like, you guys gotta you

528
00:35:55.079 --> 00:35:56.119
know what I'm saying. You have to be in the

529
00:35:56.159 --> 00:35:58.239
same way link on. You know what I'm saying on

530
00:35:58.280 --> 00:36:00.639
every corner and every turn, what I'm saying like, you

531
00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:03.119
gotta move in unison. You know what I'm saying, Like

532
00:36:03.199 --> 00:36:07.199
it's not just like me and hers us moving in

533
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:08.719
unison and stuff, right.

534
00:36:08.840 --> 00:36:12.880
Yes, but also something with that emotional intelligence. One thing

535
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:17.480
that some people also don't understand is they take that

536
00:36:17.639 --> 00:36:25.039
when two become one very very like yeah, literally, because

537
00:36:25.079 --> 00:36:29.280
the thing is, and especially and we're not talking about religion,

538
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:32.599
I'm just stating that, you know, in my in my

539
00:36:33.239 --> 00:36:39.960
spiritual religious life, a lot of the ideas are very

540
00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:44.280
rigid as far as like men thinking about like women's roles,

541
00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:50.119
women thinking about men's roles and things like that. The

542
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:55.880
whole thing is you have to be two separate people

543
00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:00.920
in order to come together. Right, So let me use

544
00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:07.840
you call Leon. So you and me get into a

545
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:12.519
relationship and all of a sudden, you know, the idea

546
00:37:12.559 --> 00:37:15.599
of to become one. Right, So the normal idea is

547
00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:19.639
we we like the same things, we go to the

548
00:37:19.679 --> 00:37:23.320
same places, or you know, I'm or even the idea

549
00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:26.480
of obedience, right, you have to be obedient to me,

550
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:30.840
but people take it so literally. No, obedience doesn't mean

551
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:35.960
I gotta do what you say. Obedience is obedience is respect.

552
00:37:36.400 --> 00:37:41.239
It's you me being obedient to you by not entertaining

553
00:37:41.320 --> 00:37:46.360
other males conversation, you being obedient.

554
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:50.599
To me by So this means kitchen now means nothing.

555
00:37:54.039 --> 00:38:02.719
That's disrespectful. Obedience, Yes, that that's not that's not respect.

556
00:38:02.760 --> 00:38:03.320
That's not.

557
00:38:04.800 --> 00:38:10.320
Disrespect. I know. I get so not done.

558
00:38:10.360 --> 00:38:17.199
The stop it, stop it, so the two become one. Right,

559
00:38:17.239 --> 00:38:22.000
So you have to be something called differentiated, which means corleon.

560
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:29.679
You love video games, you love sports, I love crafting,

561
00:38:30.199 --> 00:38:36.519
I love art, right right, those are things. Your things

562
00:38:36.519 --> 00:38:40.880
belong to you. Those are your interest your hobbies. My

563
00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:44.199
things belong to me. Those are my interests and my hobbies.

564
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:48.360
Although I would love for you to go painting with

565
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:51.039
me one day, and you would love for me to

566
00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:54.719
go to a football game with you one day, you

567
00:38:54.760 --> 00:38:57.599
know that's something we would do because we care about

568
00:38:57.599 --> 00:39:01.360
each other, because you know, because because we want to

569
00:39:01.480 --> 00:39:06.320
share that. However, I'm not going to every football game

570
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:09.480
with you. I'm not watching football with you every week

571
00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:14.400
because it's not my thing and you need your thing. Right,

572
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:17.480
we can't be attached at the hip. You have to

573
00:39:17.559 --> 00:39:20.800
have things that make you. You and I have to

574
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:24.960
have things that make me me separately, Like the whole

575
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:28.360
idea that we can't go nowhere without each other, that

576
00:39:28.440 --> 00:39:32.239
we can't do anything without each other, that that's just

577
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:40.119
a it is, but not even that, it's codependence, it's

578
00:39:40.199 --> 00:39:44.159
co dependence on each other. The thing is, as much

579
00:39:44.199 --> 00:39:47.719
as two people could love one another, you still have

580
00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:53.039
to be separate people. You want to say, yeah, you

581
00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:56.679
have the same values. You guys are headed like the

582
00:39:56.800 --> 00:39:59.800
values are very important. These are the conversations and I

583
00:39:59.800 --> 00:40:01.880
think we had this conversation the other day on the

584
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:09.679
show where you have to be compatible. So your belief system,

585
00:40:09.880 --> 00:40:12.360
the things that you value have to be in the

586
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:16.000
same ballpark with each other. Right, you have to be

587
00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:19.880
headed in the same direction. You have to have, you know,

588
00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:26.440
the same motivations you know to move in the same direction. However,

589
00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:29.880
you don't have to be two copies of one person,

590
00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:35.639
right because because then that's just crazy. It's it's like

591
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:38.360
where you can't go nowhere, you can't do anything unless

592
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:43.719
we do it together. And that's codependency. Codependency about I

593
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:48.199
don't feel valued if you don't value me. Codependency is

594
00:40:48.239 --> 00:40:51.119
whenever you're upset and sad, then I have to be

595
00:40:51.199 --> 00:40:53.440
upset and sad, right, well, no.

596
00:40:53.440 --> 00:40:55.199
Because who's going to pick the other one up?

597
00:40:55.800 --> 00:41:00.760
Yeah, And so when you're differentiated, that means that's how

598
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:03.760
we get the When I'm weak, you're strong. When you're weak,

599
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:07.119
I'm strong. You know. If we don't have our own time,

600
00:41:07.440 --> 00:41:11.360
our own friends, our own things, like you know, people

601
00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:14.840
think it's so horrible that people go on vacation without

602
00:41:14.880 --> 00:41:19.719
each other. Sometimes that is very healthy because you sometimes

603
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:24.920
you need vacation or time away or friends on your own.

604
00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:31.920
Because a true relationship, a relationship that works, one that's

605
00:41:32.039 --> 00:41:39.159
understanding and emotionally intelligent, is you need your time to

606
00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:41.480
be able to do the things that you need to

607
00:41:41.519 --> 00:41:49.920
do while respecting and understanding the other person, like you have.

608
00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:52.559
You know, like your friends don't need to be my friends.

609
00:41:52.599 --> 00:41:55.480
My friends don't need to be yours. But we do share,

610
00:41:55.719 --> 00:41:58.039
you know, we do share maybe a set of friends,

611
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:00.760
you know, and it's not in all the time thing,

612
00:42:01.440 --> 00:42:07.320
but maybe once a year, you do something with your boys.

613
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:10.920
I do something with my girls. You know, Like you

614
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:15.239
have to be able to be a person individually and

615
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:19.000
then a couple together. The couple together is a majority

616
00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:22.559
of the time. The person individually is not as much

617
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:28.000
of that time, but you require that, you.

618
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:30.760
Know, yeah, absolutely, you're absolutely right.

619
00:42:31.880 --> 00:42:34.599
But the again, this trust thing, you know, like we're

620
00:42:34.679 --> 00:42:37.880
hurt people, hurting people, We we have spent so much

621
00:42:37.880 --> 00:42:41.920
time being hurt by one another that we're refusing to

622
00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:45.800
give all of ourselves to another person again.

623
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:53.039
So so in your opinion, okay, in your opinion, how

624
00:42:53.079 --> 00:43:00.400
does one go from that state of mind the to

625
00:43:00.440 --> 00:43:03.599
actually get into the point where they will allow someone

626
00:43:04.280 --> 00:43:09.039
to step into their lives and and you know, work

627
00:43:09.119 --> 00:43:10.039
something out.

628
00:43:10.920 --> 00:43:13.239
So the first I think the first step to that

629
00:43:13.400 --> 00:43:15.920
is and a lot of people don't realize this is

630
00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:24.960
self care, self love. When you don't think positively about yourself,

631
00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:30.519
when you don't know your own value, there's that tendency

632
00:43:32.159 --> 00:43:37.360
to be afraid, right right, Fear and anxiety is a

633
00:43:37.480 --> 00:43:42.840
normal part of life. But if you risk nothing, you

634
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:47.599
will never gain anything, right, So you risk nothing, you

635
00:43:47.639 --> 00:43:53.400
gain nothing. So some of that is having faith that

636
00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:58.000
you have that you have a good you know, I

637
00:43:58.440 --> 00:44:03.000
head on your shoulders, good sense of people, judgment type

638
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:05.400
of thing that you're not gonna just be placing your

639
00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:08.719
heart and your mind and your vulnerability in anybody's hands,

640
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:12.480
you're gonna be picky and choosy about it. But in

641
00:44:12.599 --> 00:44:16.039
order to be picky and choosy, you actually have to

642
00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:19.400
love yourself first. If you don't feel like you're valuable enough,

643
00:44:20.360 --> 00:44:25.079
you're never gonna have a boundary that's healthy enough to

644
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:28.960
allow someone to come in, because if you don't feel

645
00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:31.599
good about you, you're just gonna let anybody come in.

646
00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:35.880
It's when you know your value, when you feel good

647
00:44:35.920 --> 00:44:39.519
about you, that you're able to say, hold on, I

648
00:44:39.599 --> 00:44:43.679
see some red flags. Therefore, you can't cross this boundary. Right,

649
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:46.519
So when you do find some when you do finally

650
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:49.639
find someone that you're allowing to cross the boundary, it

651
00:44:49.719 --> 00:44:52.960
becomes easier for you to be a little bit more

652
00:44:53.039 --> 00:44:58.000
vulnerable with that person. But if you don't love you,

653
00:44:58.000 --> 00:45:01.960
you're not gonna let anybody else love you, and you're

654
00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:05.000
not going to be able to love anyone else. You're

655
00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:08.599
actually gonna be codependent on them. You're gonna be looking

656
00:45:08.639 --> 00:45:12.639
for them for all of your happiness. Like anytime a

657
00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:16.039
guy says to me, I just want to make you happy,

658
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:21.639
I have to question because my thing is not because

659
00:45:21.679 --> 00:45:26.639
I don't want to. But honestly, Uh, that's that's that's

660
00:45:26.679 --> 00:45:30.559
a big pressure to put on somebody that my Like,

661
00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:33.559
if anybody says they just want me to make them happy,

662
00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:39.280
I'm gonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Back it up, yeah,

663
00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:42.480
because I don't have that kind of power, dude. Like

664
00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:46.760
the fact that you're depending on me to make you

665
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:51.880
happy or to help you stay happy, keep your happiness up,

666
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:56.519
that's a big ask, yeah, because every day we have

667
00:45:56.599 --> 00:45:59.920
to make sure that we're happy. So you have to like, like,

668
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:04.800
for instance, for me, right, I am at a place

669
00:46:04.840 --> 00:46:08.840
in my life where I know my value. I know

670
00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:12.000
what I bring to the table, I know what I'm

671
00:46:12.039 --> 00:46:16.199
looking for, I know what I need, I know what

672
00:46:16.280 --> 00:46:18.800
I'm willing to give. Right, So that kind of makes

673
00:46:18.840 --> 00:46:24.119
me a little bit of intimidating a little you know,

674
00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:28.559
I don't know, Like I guess people might see a

675
00:46:28.639 --> 00:46:33.559
standoffish or whatever. But even my own daughter makes little

676
00:46:33.559 --> 00:46:39.159
comments like nothing ever works for you, but before not

677
00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:43.920
loving myself feeling insecure about myself, that could be an

678
00:46:43.960 --> 00:46:47.239
insecurity for me, Like, oh man, nothing ever works for me?

679
00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:50.519
What's wrong with me? The truth is nothing is wrong

680
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:54.760
with me? Right, I actually feel like I'm a ten

681
00:46:56.199 --> 00:47:00.239
just because somebody else doesn't think I'm a ten doesn't.

682
00:47:00.320 --> 00:47:03.960
Now I wouldn't say I wouldn't say ten. I wouldn't

683
00:47:03.960 --> 00:47:06.320
say ten. Let's be real about it. Ten and a half.

684
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:08.000
You know what.

685
00:47:11.880 --> 00:47:14.679
You probably you probably thought. You probably thought I was

686
00:47:14.719 --> 00:47:16.840
gonna go somewhere else with that. But no.

687
00:47:16.920 --> 00:47:20.199
But see, but even if you had, the truth of

688
00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:24.159
the matter is, no matter what you and Dubs think

689
00:47:24.280 --> 00:47:28.440
right as men, no matter what you think about me,

690
00:47:29.960 --> 00:47:32.079
doesn't change what I think about me.

691
00:47:32.679 --> 00:47:35.159
Right absolutely, and it shouldn't.

692
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:38.280
Because we talked about the cognitive behavioral therapy and the

693
00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:43.320
dialectical before, because that's part of that, that cognitive behavioral therapy.

694
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:47.639
It's like, you are what you believe that you are. Right,

695
00:47:48.039 --> 00:47:51.800
So if you're telling yourself that you're a five, if

696
00:47:51.800 --> 00:47:56.039
you're telling yourself that you you know, are less than,

697
00:47:56.760 --> 00:47:59.480
then you're going to believe that and you're gonna allow

698
00:47:59.559 --> 00:48:02.519
other people to treat you that way. But when you

699
00:48:02.599 --> 00:48:06.639
sit back and you start seeing the actual positive things

700
00:48:06.719 --> 00:48:12.480
about you, then that makes you more self confident, not

701
00:48:12.840 --> 00:48:18.199
self absorbed, not you know what do you call it conceited?

702
00:48:18.360 --> 00:48:21.559
None of that being confident in yourself does not mean

703
00:48:21.679 --> 00:48:25.320
being vain. It doesn't mean that you are God's gift

704
00:48:25.400 --> 00:48:29.039
to men and women. It just means I know what

705
00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:32.840
I am capable of because I have seen it, I

706
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:36.360
have done it. That doesn't make me better than anybody else.

707
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:40.360
It just means I know my worth, my value, and

708
00:48:40.440 --> 00:48:46.840
my capability. Right, I'm sorry, finish, So just because somebody

709
00:48:46.840 --> 00:48:50.840
else doesn't give me credit for that doesn't change the

710
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:53.800
fact that I give myself that credit. So that gives

711
00:48:53.840 --> 00:48:57.079
me a better opportunity to say, listen, this is what

712
00:48:57.119 --> 00:49:00.440
I need, this is what I want. I don't judge

713
00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:04.920
you for not having that, not doing that, not wanting that,

714
00:49:04.920 --> 00:49:07.599
that just means that you and I are not compatible

715
00:49:08.360 --> 00:49:11.599
because you need what you need and I need what

716
00:49:11.639 --> 00:49:15.119
I need. And if you're not willing to give that

717
00:49:15.159 --> 00:49:17.280
to me and I'm not willing to give it to you,

718
00:49:18.119 --> 00:49:19.960
then let's not waste our time.

719
00:49:21.400 --> 00:49:22.519
You are absolutely right.

720
00:49:23.159 --> 00:49:26.000
Yeah, Now people aren't there.

721
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:31.199
Some some people some people aren't now speaking speaking of that.

722
00:49:32.679 --> 00:49:35.960
So you know you have you have the kind of

723
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:38.079
the kind of the kind of relationship. You know what

724
00:49:38.079 --> 00:49:40.159
I'm saying. What with the dude, say, for instance, right,

725
00:49:40.199 --> 00:49:44.480
and you let's pull it. Let's pull this shit out

726
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:48.079
of a hat. You have a man who has goals

727
00:49:48.119 --> 00:49:54.639
and aspirations, right, mm hmm. And do you see do

728
00:49:54.760 --> 00:49:57.519
you see it as a sign of weakness or a

729
00:49:57.559 --> 00:50:03.639
sign of what's the way I'm looking for a sign

730
00:50:03.639 --> 00:50:08.000
of weakness or a sign of instability if a guy

731
00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:15.159
has goals and aspirations but but can't get himself over

732
00:50:15.199 --> 00:50:19.280
the hump to make those kinds of things happen for himself.

733
00:50:21.159 --> 00:50:24.320
Okay, So something that I learned a while ago, even

734
00:50:24.360 --> 00:50:29.880
those words can't kenon? Can't? Right? If you really think

735
00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:33.880
about it, it's not you can or you can't. The

736
00:50:34.039 --> 00:50:40.000
reality is you either will or you won't. Because we

737
00:50:40.360 --> 00:50:47.599
can do whatever we are capable of doing. Right, So again,

738
00:50:47.679 --> 00:50:51.400
the first thing he is finding out, Yes, what are

739
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:55.079
those goals and aspirations? Great, we write those down, we

740
00:50:55.239 --> 00:50:59.159
check them out, you know, but what are you doing

741
00:51:00.119 --> 00:51:03.039
to actually like, what are the steps that you're accomplishing

742
00:51:03.599 --> 00:51:08.599
to achieve? That is the block? Something financial? Is it

743
00:51:08.679 --> 00:51:13.840
something physical? Or is it something emotional? Does that make sense?

744
00:51:14.079 --> 00:51:18.320
Makes because sometimes and I'm not just saying men, but

745
00:51:18.920 --> 00:51:25.039
sometimes we talk ourselves out of our own abilities. So

746
00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:28.360
having those goals and aspirations are great, but if you

747
00:51:28.519 --> 00:51:32.559
don't believe in yourself, if you don't believe that you

748
00:51:32.599 --> 00:51:38.039
can accomplish them, that's the hump. That's the hump that

749
00:51:38.119 --> 00:51:42.599
you cannot get over, is you don't actually feel that

750
00:51:42.679 --> 00:51:46.239
you're capable of doing it. Because if you believe in

751
00:51:46.280 --> 00:51:49.239
yourself and that you're capable of doing it, not that

752
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:53.239
you're going to succeed, but that you're capable of doing it,

753
00:51:54.840 --> 00:51:59.480
that's what helps you to get past the humps, right.

754
00:52:00.480 --> 00:52:03.480
And it's the fear and the anxiety. It's the fear

755
00:52:03.480 --> 00:52:10.079
of failure that stops people from succeeding when the reality

756
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:14.159
is failure is a part of the process, right absolutely.

757
00:52:14.800 --> 00:52:19.519
I always say, I always say fail forward. Yeah, think

758
00:52:19.559 --> 00:52:22.239
what you learned from that failure, apply it.

759
00:52:23.719 --> 00:52:28.239
And try again exactly and in order. You know that

760
00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:31.679
it's all of these things that we use on a

761
00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:37.719
daily basis. When they were first created or first uh

762
00:52:38.840 --> 00:52:45.440
found out or you know, like discovered, it probably took

763
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:51.719
thousands of failures to find the one way that it succeeded.

764
00:52:53.519 --> 00:52:57.360
You know, like when you talk about the the light bulb,

765
00:52:58.639 --> 00:53:06.559
you know, Edison like failed thousands of times before he

766
00:53:06.679 --> 00:53:11.239
finally got the filament right before it stopped burning itself out,

767
00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:15.719
and then he just improved upon it. Right, So he's

768
00:53:15.719 --> 00:53:19.199
not out there saying I'm this, I'm that, I'm whatever, whatever.

769
00:53:19.559 --> 00:53:22.119
He just continued to believe in himself and said, Okay,

770
00:53:22.119 --> 00:53:24.199
that one didn't work, Let's try something different.

771
00:53:25.079 --> 00:53:32.840
You know's idea. That's what he did. He stole tests ideas. Okay,

772
00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:36.840
but but but but but you know what though I

773
00:53:36.880 --> 00:53:39.039
mean to add on though, you know what I'm saying,

774
00:53:39.079 --> 00:53:42.880
like somebody could have gave someone else and I did,

775
00:53:43.599 --> 00:53:45.719
and he combined the tour and ran with it to

776
00:53:45.800 --> 00:53:47.400
what you're about to say right now.

777
00:53:48.880 --> 00:53:51.119
But sometimes people have the idea, but they don't know

778
00:53:51.119 --> 00:53:53.199
how to make it work, you.

779
00:53:53.159 --> 00:53:55.000
Know, like like like you know what I did is

780
00:53:55.039 --> 00:53:58.159
you know, I'm saying, basically the group projects for the elected.

781
00:53:58.280 --> 00:54:02.559
You know, so you have an idea it and like

782
00:54:02.639 --> 00:54:05.800
you can pitch on an idea and all of a

783
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:07.119
sudden because of group projects.

784
00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:12.400
But also but also people, like I said, people's self

785
00:54:13.280 --> 00:54:18.440
like self confidence. Right, So corleone could give me idea

786
00:54:18.519 --> 00:54:22.360
after idea after idea, right, but if he's not moving

787
00:54:22.440 --> 00:54:25.519
on that idea, and I'm like, you know what I

788
00:54:25.559 --> 00:54:27.519
know what I'm capable of. I'm going to take that

789
00:54:27.639 --> 00:54:30.679
idea and I'm actually going to do something with it,

790
00:54:31.199 --> 00:54:34.039
and then I become rich and famous. They're gonna be like, oh,

791
00:54:34.079 --> 00:54:38.599
you stole my idea. An idea is just an idea

792
00:54:38.840 --> 00:54:43.159
until I put it into practice. Then it becomes a reality.

793
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:47.199
Anybody can have an idea. Are you willing to stand

794
00:54:47.239 --> 00:54:50.360
on that idea and make it happen or you're just

795
00:54:50.400 --> 00:54:53.679
going to keep woe is me? Woe is me? This

796
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:56.559
is my idea. Okay, Well, if you're not going to

797
00:54:56.599 --> 00:55:03.280
develop the idea, I I'll the idea, right, So, sometimes

798
00:55:03.320 --> 00:55:05.719
you got to risk. You have to risk, you have

799
00:55:05.800 --> 00:55:11.679
to risk failure in order to move forward, right because

800
00:55:11.719 --> 00:55:14.239
at least if you move on that idea, you can

801
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:18.000
patent that move. But if you're just gonna sit there

802
00:55:18.039 --> 00:55:19.880
and talk about it and you're not going to be

803
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:22.599
about it, then I'm going to go be about it,

804
00:55:22.880 --> 00:55:27.320
and then I'm going to patent your idea and it's

805
00:55:27.559 --> 00:55:30.360
just your idea, but it's not your project because you

806
00:55:30.360 --> 00:55:31.519
didn't do anything.

807
00:55:31.199 --> 00:55:33.039
With it, as you said.

808
00:55:34.239 --> 00:55:39.159
Yeah, so, and it's the same thing with love, right

809
00:55:39.840 --> 00:55:43.159
And again, you know I always have all these ideas

810
00:55:43.159 --> 00:55:46.599
as to why I'm still single five almost six years later. Right,

811
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:54.119
it's because I've done the work on myself. I am

812
00:55:54.199 --> 00:55:59.119
by no means perfect in any way, shape or form.

813
00:56:00.159 --> 00:56:04.440
Better stop, it's not you know what, it's not your

814
00:56:04.480 --> 00:56:06.559
time yet it's not and and.

815
00:56:06.679 --> 00:56:08.800
And that's where I'm at. I'm like, you know what,

816
00:56:08.920 --> 00:56:12.000
that's okay. Like even my job, I told you how

817
00:56:12.119 --> 00:56:16.360
I you know, I recently got my promotion, right, yeah.

818
00:56:16.280 --> 00:56:18.719
Congratulations, Oh, thank you, thank you.

819
00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:22.280
And the funny thing is there were other people at

820
00:56:22.360 --> 00:56:26.199
my job that went for that same job. Right, So

821
00:56:26.400 --> 00:56:28.360
me being the person that I am, I have a

822
00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:32.920
big heart. I'm very caring, very affectionate, very sensitive to

823
00:56:33.039 --> 00:56:37.920
other people's feelings and emotions. And so of course there's

824
00:56:37.960 --> 00:56:41.400
that part of me that felt bad because the people

825
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:44.880
that I know, one have been there longer than me,

826
00:56:46.760 --> 00:56:50.840
have a lot of experience, but it doesn't mean that

827
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:54.159
they're any more qualified than I am or anything like that.

828
00:56:54.199 --> 00:56:57.199
And the truth of the matter is if that position,

829
00:56:57.440 --> 00:57:01.519
if they had interviews, dude, or done whatever it was

830
00:57:01.559 --> 00:57:04.599
that they needed to do, if that position was for them,

831
00:57:04.719 --> 00:57:09.559
then they would have been chosen. All I know is

832
00:57:09.599 --> 00:57:13.039
the work that I did in my interview, the work

833
00:57:13.079 --> 00:57:16.920
that I did to prove myself for that position. That

834
00:57:16.960 --> 00:57:21.000
doesn't make me any better an employee than them. It

835
00:57:21.159 --> 00:57:25.440
just means that I did what they needed me to

836
00:57:25.519 --> 00:57:28.320
do in order to feel that I was going to make,

837
00:57:28.599 --> 00:57:31.760
you know, do that position to the best of my ability,

838
00:57:31.760 --> 00:57:35.760
that I was going to help them to advance, you know,

839
00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:40.400
the unit that I work in. You know. So again,

840
00:57:40.519 --> 00:57:43.599
I'm no better, no worse. And although I felt bad

841
00:57:43.639 --> 00:57:47.519
for the people who didn't get it, if they were

842
00:57:47.599 --> 00:57:50.360
what the job needed them to be, they would have

843
00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:57.159
gotten it and I wouldn't have What was that? Yeah, me,

844
00:57:57.400 --> 00:58:05.760
I'm a liar, you know. And sometimes our our actions

845
00:58:06.400 --> 00:58:09.480
speak louder than our words. It's easy to go into

846
00:58:09.519 --> 00:58:13.239
an interview. It's easy to give mouth service, lip service,

847
00:58:14.239 --> 00:58:21.440
it's not oh stop, but it's not easy to actually

848
00:58:21.480 --> 00:58:22.840
do the work to back it up.

849
00:58:23.360 --> 00:58:26.119
Right, you see? You know what, like you sound like

850
00:58:26.159 --> 00:58:29.119
you work in a place where they they you know,

851
00:58:29.400 --> 00:58:35.880
they reward you merit. See, I'm not sure you know

852
00:58:36.239 --> 00:58:38.440
what what what? What? Well? You know what, let's just

853
00:58:38.480 --> 00:58:40.559
put it this way, right, because when I was when

854
00:58:40.559 --> 00:58:42.199
I was at Port Authority, you know what, I'm saying,

855
00:58:42.719 --> 00:58:44.559
it wasn't about what you knew, it was about who

856
00:58:44.599 --> 00:58:45.079
you know.

857
00:58:45.440 --> 00:58:47.960
You know. Yeah, and I think that's everywhere.

858
00:58:47.480 --> 00:58:50.119
You go, you know, and and like you know, like

859
00:58:50.480 --> 00:58:56.760
and like it was about you know, like I mean like, yeah,

860
00:58:56.800 --> 00:58:58.800
it was like high school because like it was about

861
00:58:58.840 --> 00:59:01.440
you know, like you could tell this person was messing

862
00:59:01.480 --> 00:59:03.039
with this person. All of a sudden, she has a

863
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:07.159
you know what I'm saying, she got a promotion quicker

864
00:59:07.239 --> 00:59:12.039
than anybody else. Yeah, So it's like so so it

865
00:59:12.119 --> 00:59:14.760
was like like that's what it was. That that's what

866
00:59:14.800 --> 00:59:16.440
it was over there, you know what I'm saying. Like

867
00:59:16.599 --> 00:59:19.559
the office setting and me personally, I never want to

868
00:59:19.559 --> 00:59:22.599
be like I'm not an office person because I have

869
00:59:22.639 --> 00:59:24.719
a mouth, Like I'm saying, my mouth and my attitude

870
00:59:24.800 --> 00:59:27.840
is not it's not built for the office setting. It's

871
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:31.760
not built for you know, corporate places, right because I'll

872
00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:33.639
tell you what it is and that's it. You know,

873
00:59:33.760 --> 00:59:35.800
you don't like it all well, you know, And I.

874
00:59:35.760 --> 00:59:38.360
Think that's and I think that's part of the at

875
00:59:38.440 --> 00:59:40.599
least where I work, that's part of the job thing.

876
00:59:41.239 --> 00:59:44.519
It's not it's not necessarily who you know or even

877
00:59:44.599 --> 00:59:48.199
what you know it's how do you let them know

878
00:59:48.400 --> 00:59:51.840
what you know and what have you done to show

879
00:59:51.920 --> 00:59:56.599
them you can help them accomplish a goal? You know,

880
00:59:57.159 --> 01:00:00.519
so it's like, what what are you actually doing? So

881
01:00:00.679 --> 01:00:04.320
because I don't know none of these people, but at

882
01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:07.679
the same set, because again there have been people that

883
01:00:07.760 --> 01:00:12.440
went for the position that have been there years longer

884
01:00:12.480 --> 01:00:23.559
than me. But I had a specific knowledge base, skill set, yeah,

885
01:00:23.599 --> 01:00:26.960
a specific skill set. And the way I actually went

886
01:00:27.039 --> 01:00:32.840
about showing them the skill set, I literally sold myself

887
01:00:33.360 --> 01:00:37.639
to them, you know, like I researched what the position

888
01:00:37.840 --> 01:00:41.320
was about what was required to that position, and then

889
01:00:41.360 --> 01:00:45.280
I pulled all of my experience that was relevant to

890
01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:49.559
that position and showed them how I made that work

891
01:00:49.599 --> 01:00:52.079
for me. Of course, they have all these questions that

892
01:00:52.159 --> 01:00:55.039
they asked and you never know what.

893
01:00:54.920 --> 01:00:58.840
The something something that's how winning is done.

894
01:01:00.719 --> 01:01:05.360
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right alone. It is like I did

895
01:01:05.440 --> 01:01:09.719
mock interviews. I you know, like I called my HR department,

896
01:01:10.559 --> 01:01:16.360
I did mock interviews. I looked again. I looked, even

897
01:01:16.400 --> 01:01:21.079
though I was kind of already in that area, you know,

898
01:01:21.880 --> 01:01:26.280
what is it that they're looking for? And I kind

899
01:01:26.280 --> 01:01:29.360
of put to the front all of the things that

900
01:01:29.400 --> 01:01:32.039
they're looking for that I have actually already done and

901
01:01:32.079 --> 01:01:35.800
I showed it to them. Now if the next person

902
01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:39.079
who'd been there, you know, maybe five ten years longer

903
01:01:39.079 --> 01:01:42.000
than me, who goes for that position, if they didn't

904
01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:47.440
do any of that, that's not my fault, true, you know, like,

905
01:01:48.320 --> 01:01:51.199
if you really want something, you're gonna do what's necessary

906
01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:55.360
to put your best foot forward to get it. Now,

907
01:01:55.400 --> 01:01:57.840
had I not gotten the position, I still would have

908
01:01:57.880 --> 01:02:01.800
been okay. And that's a key too, not allowing your

909
01:02:01.880 --> 01:02:06.639
situation to dictate your emotions, right right, So had I

910
01:02:06.840 --> 01:02:11.119
not yeah, had I not gotten the position, yes, for

911
01:02:11.159 --> 01:02:14.960
a second, I'd be like, oh man, I was qualified,

912
01:02:15.079 --> 01:02:17.840
I was this, I was that. But in reality, again

913
01:02:17.880 --> 01:02:21.400
this goes into my faith. Then that just means there's

914
01:02:21.440 --> 01:02:25.840
something out there better for suited for me, because just

915
01:02:25.880 --> 01:02:28.320
because I want it doesn't mean I'm right for it.

916
01:02:28.760 --> 01:02:29.960
But people don't want to hear that.

917
01:02:30.159 --> 01:02:32.159
And you know, and you know what's suited for you?

918
01:02:32.239 --> 01:02:37.119
Right now? What is that a special word for? No? No,

919
01:02:37.199 --> 01:02:46.119
not co Rico, senor Rico nice putting. Oh God, go

920
01:02:46.239 --> 01:02:49.079
right now to your local Walmart and grab this rice pudding.

921
01:02:49.079 --> 01:02:51.440
This rice pudding is from this guy named Senor Rico,

922
01:02:51.679 --> 01:02:54.920
Senor Hico makes banging rice pudding and this is this

923
01:02:54.960 --> 01:02:57.320
has this is the end of the world from our sponsor.

924
01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:04.679
Goodbye sponsor. No, I just got a hold giving them free.

925
01:03:05.079 --> 01:03:07.159
I just got a bunch of these kids from Walmart.

926
01:03:07.159 --> 01:03:09.400
They're fucking banging, Senorico.

927
01:03:10.199 --> 01:03:12.280
And you're not supposed to be eating them.

928
01:03:12.679 --> 01:03:14.480
Yeah, I know, but they're banging.

929
01:03:15.719 --> 01:03:20.159
You know what, you know what, you know what? Oh

930
01:03:22.480 --> 01:03:28.920
can't say, everybody, this is a public service announcement. Don't

931
01:03:29.039 --> 01:03:34.000
call Lady g when you end up in a hospital

932
01:03:34.039 --> 01:03:36.280
because you're diabetic eating mad sugar.

933
01:03:38.880 --> 01:03:42.400
Senor Ico ice pudding has you can't see because it's

934
01:03:42.440 --> 01:03:45.519
dark in here. But I don't know how many sugars.

935
01:03:45.159 --> 01:03:46.800
It has, probably forty.

936
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:55.280
Don't rain on the sponsor for the evening, I know,

937
01:03:55.400 --> 01:03:57.679
but I just had. I just had to be got

938
01:03:57.679 --> 01:03:59.039
to run and joke with it, that's all.

939
01:03:59.159 --> 01:04:02.199
Yeah. Yeah. And also and also the show is sponsored

940
01:04:02.239 --> 01:04:09.760
by nash Whip Niggas against smoking weed in public places.

941
01:04:10.960 --> 01:04:12.079
It was supposed to be.

942
01:04:13.920 --> 01:04:16.239
All right, so all right, so back back to what

943
01:04:16.360 --> 01:04:20.880
back to what we were saying. Yeah, so so all right,

944
01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:25.000
so I understand, and the thing is the thing is

945
01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:27.840
I'm gonna. I'm gonna, you know, go back to what

946
01:04:27.880 --> 01:04:28.400
I was saying.

947
01:04:29.360 --> 01:04:31.239
We got to figure out what what what? Why?

948
01:04:31.280 --> 01:04:31.599
Why?

949
01:04:31.920 --> 01:04:36.679
Why the dude has these dreams and hasn't accomplished them,

950
01:04:36.679 --> 01:04:39.639
And how long is it taking him not to accomplish.

951
01:04:39.159 --> 01:04:41.239
It because he's holding himself back.

952
01:04:41.400 --> 01:04:45.280
He's exactly, he's getting in his own way, tripping over.

953
01:04:45.119 --> 01:04:47.639
His own Yeah, you know what I'm saying, like like, yo,

954
01:04:47.679 --> 01:04:48.960
you know what, you have a right foot and the

955
01:04:49.000 --> 01:04:50.800
left foot. What I'm saying doesn't mean you need to

956
01:04:50.800 --> 01:04:54.960
buy two left shoes, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

957
01:04:54.960 --> 01:04:57.079
you know what, I had dreams and aspirations, but they

958
01:04:57.079 --> 01:05:00.440
ain't doing ship about it, you know what I'm saying, Like, hell,

959
01:05:00.519 --> 01:05:03.119
you know what, like look take the foot, you know.

960
01:05:03.320 --> 01:05:04.400
And another thing too, you.

961
01:05:04.360 --> 01:05:08.719
Know, like and they know they're doing it already.

962
01:05:09.480 --> 01:05:11.840
And another thing too, is that that is that most

963
01:05:11.840 --> 01:05:13.679
of these dudes out here, man, they're scared to fail,

964
01:05:15.360 --> 01:05:19.039
scared to fail. Everyone's scared of failure. But fails part

965
01:05:19.039 --> 01:05:19.519
of the game.

966
01:05:20.079 --> 01:05:24.400
Yes, fail is part of success. Failure is part of growth.

967
01:05:24.559 --> 01:05:29.719
Failure is again telling you to find another way to

968
01:05:29.880 --> 01:05:34.639
do it. And and like a lot of military people

969
01:05:34.679 --> 01:05:38.559
that I've worked with in the past. It's like that

970
01:05:38.679 --> 01:05:42.880
that whole saying failure is not an option. Failure should

971
01:05:42.960 --> 01:05:50.039
always be an option. It is not the goal. No, no, no,

972
01:05:52.000 --> 01:05:55.960
it should know for anything in life, failure should be

973
01:05:56.000 --> 01:05:59.239
an option, not the goal. Failure is not the goal,

974
01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:02.960
but it should be an option because if you never

975
01:06:03.159 --> 01:06:07.239
fail at anything, then that means you're perfect at everything,

976
01:06:08.039 --> 01:06:13.400
and that is impossible. That is impossible. No one is

977
01:06:13.599 --> 01:06:17.880
perfect no matter how hard they try. There will always

978
01:06:18.039 --> 01:06:22.039
be a flaw, if not for you, for somebody else,

979
01:06:22.679 --> 01:06:26.679
because none of us grew up the same. So, you

980
01:06:26.719 --> 01:06:29.719
know what, tonight's a good example. I made chili for dinner.

981
01:06:32.559 --> 01:06:35.199
Someone was like, oh, I like chili, Can I get some?

982
01:06:36.239 --> 01:06:43.480
I was like sure, Oh my gosh. So anyway, so

983
01:06:43.800 --> 01:06:47.519
I have no idea what they thought of the chili, right,

984
01:06:47.599 --> 01:06:50.920
I know, I love my chili. My daughter loves my chili.

985
01:06:51.039 --> 01:06:54.199
She always wants me to make my chili. But that

986
01:06:54.239 --> 01:06:57.199
doesn't mean that that person liked it. That doesn't mean

987
01:06:57.239 --> 01:07:00.199
that it was flavored to their liking. You know, like

988
01:07:00.400 --> 01:07:05.639
everybody is individual, So what could be a tend to

989
01:07:05.760 --> 01:07:10.039
me could be a five to somebody else, and vice versa.

990
01:07:11.159 --> 01:07:15.679
So we're always gonna fail in somebody's eye, but it

991
01:07:15.719 --> 01:07:17.079
doesn't need to be our own.

992
01:07:19.440 --> 01:07:27.159
Damn it, we stopped. It's fucking true. I'm listening and

993
01:07:27.679 --> 01:07:32.159
I'm saying to myself because see me me personally, like

994
01:07:32.239 --> 01:07:36.199
I feel, I feel like sometimes I need to hear ship.

995
01:07:37.840 --> 01:07:42.679
You know what I'm saying, because I sometimes I feel

996
01:07:42.760 --> 01:07:47.760
like I need not kicking. You're not kicking me in

997
01:07:47.760 --> 01:07:50.360
my ass. But what I'm saying is sometimes I feel

998
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:52.599
like I need a cheerleader, and I think you are

999
01:07:52.719 --> 01:07:54.239
everybody to have cheerleaders.

1000
01:07:54.320 --> 01:07:55.119
Yeah, you know what I'm.

1001
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:58.519
Saying, and and and and listening listening to you, to you,

1002
01:07:58.719 --> 01:08:01.920
to you say with listening to what you're saying, because

1003
01:08:02.760 --> 01:08:06.079
there's some things that I have. I have tons of

1004
01:08:06.119 --> 01:08:11.000
goals and aspirations besides tonight, I'm Batman just saying anyway,

1005
01:08:11.400 --> 01:08:16.399
so you know, there's there's things that that I feel

1006
01:08:16.680 --> 01:08:21.279
I can accomplish. There are things I feel I know

1007
01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:28.880
I have the ability to accomplish. And sometimes like when

1008
01:08:28.920 --> 01:08:31.479
when when you when you when when you tell someone

1009
01:08:31.800 --> 01:08:35.560
this is what I need from you, When you tell

1010
01:08:35.600 --> 01:08:43.039
someone this is what it is gonna help me, help us,

1011
01:08:43.439 --> 01:08:46.479
you understand what I'm saying, and you you express the

1012
01:08:46.600 --> 01:08:49.640
people this is what's up, This is what what what

1013
01:08:49.720 --> 01:08:54.039
I feel it's gotta gotta be in order to make

1014
01:08:54.079 --> 01:08:56.479
it happen. Right, And it goes in one ear and

1015
01:08:56.560 --> 01:08:58.840
out the fucking other. Because that's the.

1016
01:09:00.199 --> 01:09:05.119
Thing, Corleon, You're not depending on yourself. You're depending on

1017
01:09:05.199 --> 01:09:08.920
those other people to make it happen, when what needs

1018
01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:12.520
to happen is you're making it happen. If they're not

1019
01:09:12.680 --> 01:09:15.399
on board with the plan, then it's time to find

1020
01:09:15.399 --> 01:09:18.239
somebody else to replace them.

1021
01:09:18.520 --> 01:09:21.239
And I took I took that route. But no, what

1022
01:09:21.239 --> 01:09:23.119
what I'm trying, what I'm trying to say, is this

1023
01:09:23.640 --> 01:09:26.840
all right, I'm throwing I'm throwing out what happened in

1024
01:09:26.880 --> 01:09:33.119
my my last, my last relationship because I'm using that,

1025
01:09:33.159 --> 01:09:37.359
I'm using that as an example a very long time ago.

1026
01:09:39.319 --> 01:09:41.920
So the thing that the problem with the problem with

1027
01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:50.720
the relationship was that I expressed what it is I

1028
01:09:50.880 --> 01:09:52.600
needed in the relationship.

1029
01:09:53.279 --> 01:09:53.479
Right.

1030
01:09:53.880 --> 01:09:56.239
You know what I'm saying, Like I would stand there

1031
01:09:56.720 --> 01:10:01.279
and literally listen, this is is what I need for

1032
01:10:01.359 --> 01:10:03.920
this relationship to function the way I needed to function.

1033
01:10:04.680 --> 01:10:08.760
This is what I need from you. Listen, to what

1034
01:10:08.800 --> 01:10:10.319
I'm telling you.

1035
01:10:10.319 --> 01:10:13.079
You know what I'm saying, Like, but how did that

1036
01:10:13.159 --> 01:10:14.159
other person.

1037
01:10:15.119 --> 01:10:18.039
We're not together? What the fuck you think happened?

1038
01:10:18.760 --> 01:10:21.000
Well, I mean, I don't know anything could have happened.

1039
01:10:21.079 --> 01:10:24.000
No, nothing exactly, nothing happened like it just in when

1040
01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:25.199
in one year and out the other And.

1041
01:10:25.640 --> 01:10:33.800
Okay, so that's and and people will do what the

1042
01:10:33.880 --> 01:10:38.439
other person needs. No, no, let me say it another way.

1043
01:10:39.279 --> 01:10:41.520
People will do things for the people that they want

1044
01:10:41.560 --> 01:10:45.880
to do them for. So if you're literally standing there

1045
01:10:46.119 --> 01:10:49.000
telling someone exactly what you need, and this isn't anything,

1046
01:10:49.039 --> 01:10:52.560
not just relationships in life, life in life. If you're

1047
01:10:52.600 --> 01:10:57.319
literally telling someone this is what you need and they

1048
01:10:57.359 --> 01:10:59.960
are not giving it or not willing to give it

1049
01:11:00.079 --> 01:11:04.439
to you, then that's when you have to love yourself

1050
01:11:04.560 --> 01:11:08.720
enough to say, in order for me to move forward,

1051
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:13.239
this is what I need. Clearly, that person either doesn't

1052
01:11:13.279 --> 01:11:15.640
feel that you are the person that they want to

1053
01:11:15.680 --> 01:11:19.399
do that for, or that is not something they are

1054
01:11:19.439 --> 01:11:23.159
willing or wanting to do. So then that's when you

1055
01:11:23.239 --> 01:11:25.560
have to realize you're not compatible.

1056
01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:28.159
Let's be real, who wouldn't want to do something for me?

1057
01:11:29.199 --> 01:11:32.079
Come on, I'm such a cool ass. Dude, man, Like,

1058
01:11:32.119 --> 01:11:32.560
what the fuck?

1059
01:11:33.159 --> 01:11:35.359
Yes, the way you stop, but when you're not doing

1060
01:11:35.399 --> 01:11:37.880
something for the other person, then they give up.

1061
01:11:39.319 --> 01:11:43.359
That is true, That is that is absolutely true. So

1062
01:11:43.640 --> 01:11:46.279
just what I've learned, but.

1063
01:11:46.199 --> 01:11:49.119
Relationship you have done to others?

1064
01:11:49.560 --> 01:11:53.039
Yeah, it's true, and I'll admit that I have. But

1065
01:11:53.880 --> 01:12:00.000
you understand I've grown and I've learned and I failed,

1066
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:04.760
So I have taken from what I learned from those failures.

1067
01:12:05.239 --> 01:12:05.439
Yeap.

1068
01:12:06.119 --> 01:12:08.600
And I'm at a point in my life where it's

1069
01:12:08.680 --> 01:12:11.920
like I'm ready. You know what I'm saying. Like, I'm

1070
01:12:12.359 --> 01:12:17.359
at a point where it's like shit's about to pop off, man.

1071
01:12:17.319 --> 01:12:19.720
Like you know what I mean, Like your breakthrough. Yeah,

1072
01:12:19.760 --> 01:12:23.600
because you're finally at a place where you know what

1073
01:12:23.760 --> 01:12:28.079
you are capable of and you are ready to find

1074
01:12:28.640 --> 01:12:34.439
that other half. But you can't make someone do or

1075
01:12:34.479 --> 01:12:39.239
feel something that they don't. That's the thing we go

1076
01:12:39.279 --> 01:12:41.439
in And I say this a lot about women, how

1077
01:12:41.439 --> 01:12:46.199
we're looking at a man's potential instead of what he

1078
01:12:46.279 --> 01:12:48.479
is showing you is his reality.

1079
01:12:50.279 --> 01:12:53.840
Now, explain that to me, please, Okay, I get I

1080
01:12:53.880 --> 01:12:56.720
get the whole. I know, I get the whole. Women

1081
01:12:56.760 --> 01:13:00.720
looking at the potential right and not looking at what's

1082
01:13:00.840 --> 01:13:03.920
right and directly in front of them, but from a

1083
01:13:03.960 --> 01:13:08.079
women's perspective, From a woman's perspective, because I can see it,

1084
01:13:09.279 --> 01:13:13.720
you know what I'm saying. I can see that a

1085
01:13:13.760 --> 01:13:16.920
lot of women do look at the potential. But why

1086
01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:19.000
is it they do that other than looking at what's

1087
01:13:19.039 --> 01:13:20.079
directly in front of them?

1088
01:13:20.720 --> 01:13:24.119
Because they want so much to be loved and cared for,

1089
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:28.239
and because they have seen that in the other person.

1090
01:13:31.159 --> 01:13:34.520
They know that that person like they see what that

1091
01:13:34.560 --> 01:13:35.960
person is capable of.

1092
01:13:36.479 --> 01:13:36.720
Right.

1093
01:13:37.199 --> 01:13:41.399
The issue is if that person's not already doing that,

1094
01:13:42.239 --> 01:13:45.239
it's because they either don't want to, don't know that

1095
01:13:45.279 --> 01:13:49.439
they can, or don't believe enough in themselves to do it. Right.

1096
01:13:50.520 --> 01:13:54.439
Just because I see greatness in you doesn't mean that

1097
01:13:54.520 --> 01:14:00.000
you see greatness in you, right, So if you don't

1098
01:14:00.079 --> 01:14:02.560
believe you're great, you're not gonna do anything to be

1099
01:14:03.399 --> 01:14:06.520
I believe I'm great. I know I'm not talking about

1100
01:14:06.560 --> 01:14:07.000
you and Jail.

1101
01:14:07.119 --> 01:14:08.039
I know what I'm just saying.

1102
01:14:08.479 --> 01:14:10.479
I believe in the great So I'm gonna I'm gonna

1103
01:14:10.520 --> 01:14:13.039
say something at the risk that this person's gonna hear it.

1104
01:14:17.119 --> 01:14:24.439
I went out with somebody and the date was like magic.

1105
01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:27.680
And now this has been a while ago. Now it

1106
01:14:27.840 --> 01:14:32.640
was magic. I could not believe. I saw so much potential,

1107
01:14:32.840 --> 01:14:36.560
But at that moment that potential was reality. He was

1108
01:14:36.600 --> 01:14:39.439
literally saying and doing everything he said he was saying

1109
01:14:39.439 --> 01:14:45.720
and doing. Then something happened the night of the date

1110
01:14:47.319 --> 01:14:55.199
that affected his life, his livelihood. You know. Uh, he

1111
01:14:55.239 --> 01:15:02.560
got into an accident and he hurt himself. So okay,

1112
01:15:03.399 --> 01:15:08.920
but on that first date, he showed himself to be

1113
01:15:09.039 --> 01:15:14.000
a person, a certain person. He talked the good talk, right,

1114
01:15:14.640 --> 01:15:19.840
he made everything great. But then when he got hurt,

1115
01:15:20.359 --> 01:15:25.880
things changed. All the things that he was saying, I

1116
01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:30.880
was finding out were not reality. He was giving me

1117
01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:35.000
what his potential was. He was giving me an idea

1118
01:15:35.119 --> 01:15:39.760
of what could be. But if he was really that

1119
01:15:39.840 --> 01:15:43.960
person who said all the things that he said, if

1120
01:15:43.960 --> 01:15:48.000
he was really that person, getting hurt would not have

1121
01:15:48.239 --> 01:15:54.199
changed that. Absolutely, he still would have been that person. However,

1122
01:15:55.880 --> 01:15:58.920
it appears that all the things he was saying that

1123
01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:02.960
he was were things, and the person he wanted to be.

1124
01:16:03.760 --> 01:16:06.239
All the things he said that he would provide or

1125
01:16:06.319 --> 01:16:10.479
to give on his part were things that maybe he

1126
01:16:10.560 --> 01:16:14.600
wanted to give or provide. However, that was not his

1127
01:16:14.800 --> 01:16:18.800
reality because when push came to shove and the situation

1128
01:16:20.319 --> 01:16:23.880
became real for him because he found himself at a

1129
01:16:23.880 --> 01:16:29.760
at a I don't know asroads or something acrossroads, a standstill,

1130
01:16:30.279 --> 01:16:35.039
a life change, all of a sudden, he reverted to

1131
01:16:35.159 --> 01:16:40.000
what he knows. He reverted to the behaviors that he

1132
01:16:40.119 --> 01:16:45.039
is comfortable with, even though he might be frustrated right now.

1133
01:16:45.199 --> 01:16:48.079
He might, you know, because he's of course, because he

1134
01:16:48.119 --> 01:16:49.520
got hurt, he's going to be out of work for

1135
01:16:49.560 --> 01:16:52.239
a while. So like that's no income. That's very stressful,

1136
01:16:52.760 --> 01:16:53.560
very stressful.

1137
01:16:55.039 --> 01:17:01.359
However, I could speak yeah, because like you know what before,

1138
01:17:01.479 --> 01:17:03.359
you know, like when I was working, you know, like

1139
01:17:03.439 --> 01:17:06.479
everything was good, everything was great. And then you know,

1140
01:17:07.960 --> 01:17:10.159
once I got into my accident and I found out

1141
01:17:10.199 --> 01:17:12.600
that you know, like I enjured my I had a

1142
01:17:12.600 --> 01:17:16.199
spinal cord injury, right, you know, like to yo, you

1143
01:17:16.239 --> 01:17:18.880
know what, the spinal cord injury really took a toll

1144
01:17:18.920 --> 01:17:20.359
on you know what I'm saying, That took a toll

1145
01:17:20.600 --> 01:17:23.079
like like like first, you know what I'm saying, I

1146
01:17:23.119 --> 01:17:24.800
was filling it in my pockets, but like more it

1147
01:17:24.840 --> 01:17:27.039
was it was more like a mental thing. So it's

1148
01:17:27.079 --> 01:17:30.199
like it's like you know what I'm saying, Like you

1149
01:17:30.319 --> 01:17:33.359
revert from what you could be. So it's like, yo,

1150
01:17:33.399 --> 01:17:34.920
you know what what am I going to show her? Now?

1151
01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:36.840
You know what I'm saying, Like, I'm like, Yo, I'm

1152
01:17:36.880 --> 01:17:42.520
trying the survival mode, you know, so like me, you know, yeah,

1153
01:17:42.520 --> 01:17:43.760
you know what I'm saying me, I'm just trying to

1154
01:17:43.800 --> 01:17:47.520
survive like like you know, like and yo, you know

1155
01:17:47.560 --> 01:17:51.279
what man like like workers comp man like like you know,

1156
01:17:51.279 --> 01:17:53.479
you gotta deal with workers comp. You got there with

1157
01:17:53.640 --> 01:17:57.239
accident lawyers, you got the adoptor's appointment, you know, Like

1158
01:17:58.079 --> 01:18:00.439
me personally, I had to deal with the fact that

1159
01:18:00.479 --> 01:18:04.319
I could no longer like lips like I can't walk

1160
01:18:04.399 --> 01:18:08.880
too much. But sitting down, you know.

1161
01:18:09.359 --> 01:18:13.800
But Dubs, look at this like it didn't change who you.

1162
01:18:15.439 --> 01:18:17.920
Yes, but it did.

1163
01:18:18.279 --> 01:18:22.239
Can can you listen to what I'm saying? All it

1164
01:18:22.319 --> 01:18:26.520
didn't change who you were as a person. It changed

1165
01:18:26.560 --> 01:18:30.840
your ability to do the things that you did before,

1166
01:18:31.039 --> 01:18:34.359
and it changed you as a man, But it didn't

1167
01:18:34.439 --> 01:18:39.239
change you as a person. You were still the same, Dubs,

1168
01:18:39.279 --> 01:18:43.680
you have always been. Your personality, your feelings, your your

1169
01:18:43.920 --> 01:18:49.239
your personality period, who you are. It just changed what.

1170
01:18:49.439 --> 01:18:52.159
The person needs to make the accident work for him.

1171
01:18:53.119 --> 01:18:59.439
Yes, you had to adjust, you had to your new reality.

1172
01:18:59.680 --> 01:19:01.760
Look, I look at my accident. You know what I'm saying.

1173
01:19:01.800 --> 01:19:03.840
At first, you know what I'm saying. And like when

1174
01:19:03.880 --> 01:19:05.720
I found out that the driver admitted that he did

1175
01:19:05.720 --> 01:19:10.199
not see me, Bro, I wanted to kill this dude. Bro,

1176
01:19:10.560 --> 01:19:12.920
Like how you're not seeing me? You know what I'm saying,

1177
01:19:12.920 --> 01:19:14.960
Like this a head on collision, how you're not seeing you.

1178
01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:17.840
But you also don't know what was going on in

1179
01:19:17.840 --> 01:19:20.199
his part or his mind or.

1180
01:19:20.119 --> 01:19:24.960
But but you know what, though, I'm also thankful that

1181
01:19:25.039 --> 01:19:28.000
you know what I'm saying, that I walked away from it.

1182
01:19:28.079 --> 01:19:31.279
Literally I could still walk, you know what I'm saying,

1183
01:19:31.680 --> 01:19:34.439
Like certainly like you know what his viet you know what,

1184
01:19:34.560 --> 01:19:36.520
Like I said, when you know what I'm saying, Like

1185
01:19:36.640 --> 01:19:38.359
for him, he needs to he needs to have that

1186
01:19:38.479 --> 01:19:42.319
accident work towards his event. And I don't mean you know,

1187
01:19:43.239 --> 01:19:46.880
and I don't mean on some like monetary gain and nothing.

1188
01:19:47.640 --> 01:19:49.279
Be happy that you're alive, you know what I'm saying,

1189
01:19:49.319 --> 01:19:52.640
Because you know what, an extra five ten miles an hour,

1190
01:19:52.680 --> 01:19:55.600
you know what I'm saying, You'll be paralyzed or you

1191
01:19:55.600 --> 01:19:58.359
know what I'm saying, like exactly, you know what I'm saying,

1192
01:19:58.000 --> 01:20:00.560
Like you know what a certain a certain earn, a

1193
01:20:00.600 --> 01:20:03.239
certain angle. You know what I'm saying. That you got

1194
01:20:03.239 --> 01:20:05.319
in a collision with you know what I'm saying, could

1195
01:20:05.319 --> 01:20:06.840
have had could have had that. You know what I'm saying,

1196
01:20:06.840 --> 01:20:09.239
the car that you was in explode. You know what

1197
01:20:09.239 --> 01:20:11.279
I'm saying, Like like you know what, there's there's so

1198
01:20:11.439 --> 01:20:13.199
much you know what I'm saying, There's so much that

1199
01:20:13.279 --> 01:20:15.840
like at first I was angry the God's becoming bitter

1200
01:20:15.880 --> 01:20:19.159
about it. Yeah, but then like you know, because but

1201
01:20:19.199 --> 01:20:23.399
then like exactly you know, like like you know, like

1202
01:20:23.399 --> 01:20:25.960
like physically, you know what I'm saying, Like and because

1203
01:20:25.960 --> 01:20:27.720
of my accident, gained a lot of weight because I

1204
01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:30.800
can't be doing things outsilid that no more, you know,

1205
01:20:30.920 --> 01:20:33.159
like to do laundry. You know what I'm saying, Like

1206
01:20:32.920 --> 01:20:38.039
everything everything now comes with limitations and like and like

1207
01:20:38.079 --> 01:20:40.760
you know what, me being a man, you know what

1208
01:20:40.760 --> 01:20:43.359
I'm saying, Like I let that really affect my pride

1209
01:20:43.359 --> 01:20:47.000
and ego. Yeah, like you know, like like you know,

1210
01:20:47.039 --> 01:20:48.439
like I used to do my I used to put

1211
01:20:48.479 --> 01:20:50.880
like I'm saying, two thirty five pounds laundry bags on

1212
01:20:50.920 --> 01:20:52.640
my shoulders, take it to the car. You know what

1213
01:20:52.640 --> 01:20:56.319
I'm saying, walking or whatever. I can't do that. You know,

1214
01:20:56.439 --> 01:21:03.600
like nobody like that's not especially especially you know what

1215
01:21:03.600 --> 01:21:06.279
I'm saying, Like, you know what us men, we don't

1216
01:21:06.279 --> 01:21:10.680
want to feel like you know what I'm saying exactly,

1217
01:21:10.800 --> 01:21:15.239
like like what now? Like you know, like I'm like, yeah,

1218
01:21:15.319 --> 01:21:17.199
I'm in my forties, but my spinal corse says I'm

1219
01:21:17.199 --> 01:21:20.119
in my eighties. Like I literally have to make jokes

1220
01:21:20.119 --> 01:21:22.479
about my you know what I'm saying, my condition, you know.

1221
01:21:22.479 --> 01:21:25.319
Like, but you don't see that's the thing. You know

1222
01:21:25.399 --> 01:21:33.039
that sometimes when you make jokes, you're actually talking negatively

1223
01:21:33.119 --> 01:21:34.800
to yourself when you make jokes.

1224
01:21:35.399 --> 01:21:39.720
Actually, you know what, there's this part you know what

1225
01:21:39.720 --> 01:21:41.920
I'm saying with Mike Tyson, you know what I'm saying,

1226
01:21:42.319 --> 01:21:46.079
where he was like, yeah, I broke my back. He said, yeah, yeah,

1227
01:21:46.119 --> 01:21:49.079
he broke your back. Yeah, what's the energy? He was like, h,

1228
01:21:49.439 --> 01:21:53.319
spinal you know what I'm saying, like h, I literally

1229
01:21:53.359 --> 01:21:56.239
look for that ship to laugh at my own situation

1230
01:21:56.439 --> 01:22:00.439
because I'm like, yeah, I broke my back, Spinal you know,

1231
01:22:00.560 --> 01:22:03.359
like I have to, you know what I'm saying, like

1232
01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:05.840
like like like you know what like like you know what,

1233
01:22:05.960 --> 01:22:09.159
like me, like I find ways to turn my you know,

1234
01:22:09.279 --> 01:22:11.479
saying pain in the comedy relief because you know what,

1235
01:22:12.520 --> 01:22:13.319
I roakes people.

1236
01:22:13.479 --> 01:22:17.239
I even ROAs myself, Yes, but why not to make

1237
01:22:17.279 --> 01:22:20.760
your situation into comedy relief? What do you think you're

1238
01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:21.399
really doing?

1239
01:22:21.479 --> 01:22:26.239
Dubs, I'm projected in a funny way, you know what

1240
01:22:26.239 --> 01:22:26.600
I'm saying.

1241
01:22:26.720 --> 01:22:27.159
Do you think?

1242
01:22:27.319 --> 01:22:27.920
What do you think?

1243
01:22:28.000 --> 01:22:29.680
It's really funny?

1244
01:22:30.159 --> 01:22:33.000
It is to me because you know what, And I'm

1245
01:22:33.000 --> 01:22:38.720
gonna tell you why, because I have no other choice

1246
01:22:38.800 --> 01:22:40.439
but to look at it that way, because you know what,

1247
01:22:40.520 --> 01:22:43.920
like I know, if I start looking at it, you know,

1248
01:22:44.520 --> 01:22:48.560
and it's in a very serious perspective, right I'll be

1249
01:22:48.600 --> 01:22:50.520
angry and bitter, and I don't want to be that way,

1250
01:22:51.039 --> 01:22:52.880
you know what I'm saying, And like, as of right now,

1251
01:22:52.920 --> 01:22:56.520
like there's no other way to be comfortable with where

1252
01:22:56.520 --> 01:23:00.720
I'm at physically because of my accident, other than other

1253
01:23:00.800 --> 01:23:01.720
than to laugh about it.

1254
01:23:03.079 --> 01:23:05.359
Well, I mean the way of coping, which is cool,

1255
01:23:05.720 --> 01:23:06.399
which is you know.

1256
01:23:06.359 --> 01:23:12.319
It's fine, like like you know, like you know, like

1257
01:23:12.399 --> 01:23:15.199
personally you know what I'm saying, like you know, like

1258
01:23:15.199 --> 01:23:17.119
like I like you know what, like it's just you know,

1259
01:23:18.960 --> 01:23:22.640
you know, like my situation could be worse. I could

1260
01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:25.960
be stuck to a wheelchair, you know, and even then

1261
01:23:26.159 --> 01:23:28.359
and even then, you know what, I'll make a joke

1262
01:23:28.399 --> 01:23:31.079
about me being in a wheelchair and you can be.

1263
01:23:31.039 --> 01:23:35.119
In a wheelchair eating some Danilco nice.

1264
01:23:37.359 --> 01:23:40.920
You know, you know, like you know like like like

1265
01:23:40.960 --> 01:23:42.079
you know, like you know what I'm saying, I could

1266
01:23:42.079 --> 01:23:43.560
be stuck to a wheel chair and but like yeah,

1267
01:23:43.720 --> 01:23:47.159
I'm about to roll out literally, you know, like I'll

1268
01:23:47.159 --> 01:23:48.319
make you know what I'm saying, Like I'll make a

1269
01:23:48.359 --> 01:23:49.640
jokes about that, you know.

1270
01:23:49.720 --> 01:23:52.199
I know, I know the situation, the situation fucked up.

1271
01:23:52.239 --> 01:23:54.199
You know what I'm saying. You just gotta just be

1272
01:23:54.319 --> 01:23:57.880
grateful that you're able to I am, you know what

1273
01:23:57.920 --> 01:23:58.279
I mean?

1274
01:23:59.039 --> 01:24:01.800
And bro, I am. You know what I'm saying like

1275
01:24:01.800 --> 01:24:03.760
like like like you know, like you know what though,

1276
01:24:03.840 --> 01:24:07.439
like you know what, I'm lucky. I just I'm lucky.

1277
01:24:07.520 --> 01:24:10.960
I have six crniated discs. You know, Like I even

1278
01:24:11.039 --> 01:24:13.119
joke with the doctors, you know, like they're like, oh yeah, yeah,

1279
01:24:13.600 --> 01:24:15.920
Jesus Christ. It acts my stuff. You know you're gonna

1280
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:17.600
need this, you know what I'm saying, spa of fusion

1281
01:24:17.600 --> 01:24:19.720
in the future because of the accident and the third

1282
01:24:20.159 --> 01:24:22.880
you got six crated disc. I'm like, oh word, I said,

1283
01:24:23.039 --> 01:24:25.039
I was aiming for eight, but six would do you

1284
01:24:25.039 --> 01:24:27.039
know what I'm saying, Like I said, it's sarcastic. I'm

1285
01:24:27.039 --> 01:24:29.760
saying I was mad, you know what I'm saying, Like

1286
01:24:29.760 --> 01:24:32.199
like like you know, I was mad, but the doctor

1287
01:24:32.279 --> 01:24:35.399
was laughing and ship, so I started laughing too, you know,

1288
01:24:35.520 --> 01:24:37.159
like like like you know, like but I was being

1289
01:24:37.319 --> 01:24:40.279
sarcastic about it, you know, because there's no other you

1290
01:24:40.319 --> 01:24:43.399
know what I'm saying, Like when things like with me,

1291
01:24:43.399 --> 01:24:45.560
me personally, when things change in my life, I have

1292
01:24:45.640 --> 01:24:48.119
no control over it. And I'm the one, you know,

1293
01:24:48.159 --> 01:24:50.359
getting the ship and the stick, I have no other

1294
01:24:50.439 --> 01:24:53.680
choice but to be sarcastic about it. Okay, well you

1295
01:24:53.680 --> 01:24:57.600
know because you know what different I can't. I can't,

1296
01:24:57.600 --> 01:24:59.079
you know what I'm saying. I can't put my head

1297
01:24:59.079 --> 01:25:01.640
in the sand. But like who this me and tip

1298
01:25:01.640 --> 01:25:02.159
on my nipple?

1299
01:25:02.359 --> 01:25:02.560
Who?

1300
01:25:02.640 --> 01:25:04.840
Like, who the fuck cares? You know what I'm saying,

1301
01:25:05.479 --> 01:25:09.279
Like you know what I bro, I don't know I

1302
01:25:09.319 --> 01:25:11.159
just feel like saying that ship you know what I'm saying,

1303
01:25:11.359 --> 01:25:14.239
But like, but like you know what, like like you

1304
01:25:14.279 --> 01:25:16.039
know what, like life to me? You know what I'm saying,

1305
01:25:16.039 --> 01:25:17.760
it's like playing you know what I'm saying. It's life

1306
01:25:17.800 --> 01:25:22.119
to me as a chess game mixed with poker, and

1307
01:25:22.159 --> 01:25:23.880
I always have to put on a poker pace until

1308
01:25:23.880 --> 01:25:26.560
I believe it's true. Like that, Like that's how I

1309
01:25:26.560 --> 01:25:28.760
cope with things, you know what I'm saying, Like, Yo,

1310
01:25:28.840 --> 01:25:31.479
this is bad, but I'll lie to myself like, Yo,

1311
01:25:31.479 --> 01:25:32.680
you know what, It's going to get better, you know

1312
01:25:32.680 --> 01:25:35.279
what I'm saying, even though it's a bad situation. I'll

1313
01:25:35.319 --> 01:25:37.600
lie to myself until that light I start seeing the

1314
01:25:37.680 --> 01:25:39.039
light and be like, oh, yeah, you know what, this

1315
01:25:39.199 --> 01:25:41.840
is true because you got to speak to shit into existence.

1316
01:25:42.319 --> 01:25:47.079
But see, that's where I continuously disagree with you. Every

1317
01:25:47.199 --> 01:25:49.960
time you say stuff like that. I mean, for you,

1318
01:25:50.239 --> 01:25:53.119
that's what you believe, that's great. But my thing is

1319
01:25:53.239 --> 01:25:55.199
like when you talk about fake it till you make

1320
01:25:55.279 --> 01:25:58.720
it and all that kind of stuff, No, if you

1321
01:25:59.560 --> 01:26:04.119
change the way you see it, like you won't even

1322
01:26:04.199 --> 01:26:07.039
have to fake it till you make it. If you you.

1323
01:26:06.960 --> 01:26:09.119
Know what those, some people have a hard time doing

1324
01:26:09.159 --> 01:26:11.439
that though. That's what I'm saying, you know what, some

1325
01:26:11.479 --> 01:26:15.199
people don't start by looking in the Maryland exactly. But

1326
01:26:14.960 --> 01:26:16.800
but but you know what, like you know what I'm saying,

1327
01:26:16.840 --> 01:26:19.640
some people don't even try because like they see, like

1328
01:26:19.680 --> 01:26:23.199
there's no way that this could change for the better.

1329
01:26:23.279 --> 01:26:24.960
That's what I'm telling that, That's what I'm saying. You

1330
01:26:24.960 --> 01:26:28.039
know what, sometimes you know what I'm saying, like you

1331
01:26:28.159 --> 01:26:31.960
have to break it.

1332
01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:35.640
But if you challenge it and reframe it, if you

1333
01:26:35.720 --> 01:26:39.359
have the ability to try to see things from a

1334
01:26:39.399 --> 01:26:45.399
different perspective, sometimes you can actually see it instead of

1335
01:26:45.479 --> 01:26:50.239
having to fake it. Like I understand talking thing into existence.

1336
01:26:50.279 --> 01:26:52.760
I understand that manifesting and.

1337
01:26:54.399 --> 01:26:56.279
You know what, and like that's how like you know

1338
01:26:56.319 --> 01:27:00.359
what I'm saying, Like because me, like you know, you know,

1339
01:27:00.439 --> 01:27:04.199
like I joke around whatever, but you know, I'm a

1340
01:27:04.199 --> 01:27:06.079
pretty dark person, you know.

1341
01:27:06.119 --> 01:27:08.760
Like, and I can believe it or not. That's why

1342
01:27:09.079 --> 01:27:13.800
when you say stuff like that, it frustrates me because

1343
01:27:14.399 --> 01:27:17.119
I know that you're saying out of a out of

1344
01:27:17.920 --> 01:27:19.119
a dark place and.

1345
01:27:19.159 --> 01:27:22.720
Not actually a personal experience. I'm saying that out of

1346
01:27:22.720 --> 01:27:26.439
a personal experience because you know what, like like you know,

1347
01:27:26.520 --> 01:27:29.119
like there's been times, but like, you know, like I

1348
01:27:29.159 --> 01:27:30.680
was at the point of my life where I'm like, yeah,

1349
01:27:30.720 --> 01:27:33.960
you know what, today's a good day to die, yes,

1350
01:27:34.039 --> 01:27:35.920
and you talk about and I had to go to

1351
01:27:36.319 --> 01:27:39.119
yeah exactly, and you know what, and I had to

1352
01:27:39.199 --> 01:27:43.439
like pray. You know what I'm saying, Like that's one

1353
01:27:43.560 --> 01:27:47.000
you know, but like I pray regardless of how I

1354
01:27:47.039 --> 01:27:49.359
come across, I pray, you know what I'm saying. I

1355
01:27:49.359 --> 01:27:51.199
do read the Bible. I pray. I mean, I read

1356
01:27:51.239 --> 01:27:53.560
the Bible a lot more now because I'm older, and

1357
01:27:53.680 --> 01:27:55.680
like I'm starting to you know, I'm starting to see

1358
01:27:55.680 --> 01:27:58.600
the laws of my soul, you know. So I pray

1359
01:27:58.640 --> 01:28:05.159
a lot, you know, and that you know what I'm saying,

1360
01:28:05.600 --> 01:28:09.479
that helps a lot. So like I'm currently you know

1361
01:28:09.520 --> 01:28:12.079
what I'm saying, Like like whenever I'm in a dark place,

1362
01:28:12.119 --> 01:28:14.479
I start praying and like and like you know what,

1363
01:28:15.079 --> 01:28:18.479
and then I start telling myself, you know what, whatever, man,

1364
01:28:18.520 --> 01:28:23.520
you know what, everybody catches beatings. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow.

1365
01:28:23.640 --> 01:28:27.279
I'm gonna be on my own two feet and things

1366
01:28:27.319 --> 01:28:33.399
will get better eventually, they will because you know what,

1367
01:28:34.560 --> 01:28:36.880
because but you know what though, like coming from a

1368
01:28:36.960 --> 01:28:40.119
dark place, you know what I'm saying, like where I

1369
01:28:40.159 --> 01:28:42.520
felt like you know what I'm saying. And some people

1370
01:28:42.560 --> 01:28:44.760
will feel this way too, like there's no way out.

1371
01:28:45.279 --> 01:28:48.560
Some you know, like you have to start feelings, but yeah,

1372
01:28:48.720 --> 01:28:51.359
we have to start somewhere though, But you have to

1373
01:28:51.359 --> 01:28:52.399
start somewhere.

1374
01:28:52.039 --> 01:28:55.920
Though, Yes, but you went to logic like okay. So

1375
01:28:56.079 --> 01:28:59.000
the thing is, the way to help you get away

1376
01:28:59.000 --> 01:29:03.560
from those feelings is like you said, I am still

1377
01:29:04.079 --> 01:29:09.479
able to walk. That's a reality. I feel this way

1378
01:29:09.560 --> 01:29:12.800
like it's okay to not be okay. I have a

1379
01:29:12.840 --> 01:29:16.720
shirt it says it's okay to not be okay. The

1380
01:29:16.800 --> 01:29:22.279
thing is, it's not talking yourself. It's talking yourself motivating

1381
01:29:22.319 --> 01:29:26.000
yourself into it, but it's not lying to yourself. Like

1382
01:29:26.079 --> 01:29:30.880
the truth is, yes, I feel lucky because I'm walking.

1383
01:29:31.960 --> 01:29:35.920
I feel lucky because I feel pain, I can still

1384
01:29:35.960 --> 01:29:40.840
feel something. Those are realities. Those are the proof that

1385
01:29:41.000 --> 01:29:45.239
helped to support the fact that you are going to

1386
01:29:45.319 --> 01:29:49.359
be okay. You know you don't feel okay now, but

1387
01:29:49.439 --> 01:29:52.279
you know that if you continue on the same path,

1388
01:29:52.720 --> 01:29:57.439
you will feel okay eventually. You know, those are realities.

1389
01:29:57.479 --> 01:29:58.479
That's not lying to.

1390
01:29:58.479 --> 01:30:02.600
Yourself, and and and another thing. You know what I'm saying.

1391
01:30:02.880 --> 01:30:04.680
What yo? What yo? What you're saying? It makes a

1392
01:30:04.680 --> 01:30:08.239
lot of sense, you know. See, it's okay not to

1393
01:30:08.279 --> 01:30:10.239
be okay, you know what I'm saying. I like that shirt,

1394
01:30:10.560 --> 01:30:12.840
but you know what, if you could add on, but

1395
01:30:12.920 --> 01:30:16.079
you will be okay at the end of that that sound, yo,

1396
01:30:16.119 --> 01:30:19.319
that shure will be high, like really high, because like

1397
01:30:20.760 --> 01:30:24.399
it gives because you know what, though, like it gives

1398
01:30:24.399 --> 01:30:29.039
on you know what I'm saying, Like I don't know,

1399
01:30:29.199 --> 01:30:32.159
like you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you know what

1400
01:30:32.159 --> 01:30:34.640
I'm saying. You know what, There's a light at the

1401
01:30:34.720 --> 01:30:36.399
end of everything. There's a light at the end of

1402
01:30:36.399 --> 01:30:36.840
every town.

1403
01:30:38.039 --> 01:30:39.640
Yes, you know, make sure it's not a train.

1404
01:30:40.119 --> 01:30:41.439
Well, this is what I'm saying.

1405
01:30:41.520 --> 01:30:45.439
Yes, But that's the thing. That's the thing right there, Corleon,

1406
01:30:46.239 --> 01:30:48.159
there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

1407
01:30:48.880 --> 01:30:52.960
You are the one that decides is it the train

1408
01:30:53.800 --> 01:30:57.239
or is it the end of this problem. We're the

1409
01:30:57.239 --> 01:30:59.800
ones that determine what that light is.

1410
01:31:02.039 --> 01:31:05.800
And it's still over.

1411
01:31:06.319 --> 01:31:09.520
It's still over. Whether it's the train or the end

1412
01:31:09.520 --> 01:31:13.359
of the problem doesn't matter because it's still going to

1413
01:31:13.399 --> 01:31:16.279
be over once you reach the light. So it's the

1414
01:31:16.319 --> 01:31:21.159
way that you see the light. It's the if you

1415
01:31:21.319 --> 01:31:24.239
go to the light expecting it to be a train,

1416
01:31:25.239 --> 01:31:30.840
then it's a train. If you go with the hope

1417
01:31:31.159 --> 01:31:33.720
that that light is the end of the pain, the

1418
01:31:33.800 --> 01:31:37.359
emotional pain, or whatever it is, then that's what it is.

1419
01:31:38.239 --> 01:31:41.520
You know, it's what you are asking or what you

1420
01:31:41.600 --> 01:31:45.479
are deciding that that light is. But in either way,

1421
01:31:45.680 --> 01:31:48.600
no matter what it is, when you reach the light,

1422
01:31:48.760 --> 01:31:53.039
whatever you're dealing with will be over. So instead of

1423
01:31:53.079 --> 01:31:57.439
focusing on what it is at the light, focusing on

1424
01:31:57.520 --> 01:32:02.199
the fact that whatever the light is, it's over. That's

1425
01:32:02.239 --> 01:32:05.079
the part. That's what I'm talking about, the reframing, the

1426
01:32:05.159 --> 01:32:08.920
seeing things differently. You know, you don't have to lie

1427
01:32:08.960 --> 01:32:13.199
to yourself. You just have to change the way you

1428
01:32:13.439 --> 01:32:17.640
perceive what is happening bad things. Like a lot of

1429
01:32:17.640 --> 01:32:19.960
people are like, why me, Why is this happen to me?

1430
01:32:20.079 --> 01:32:22.319
Why do I do this? Why? Why does this? And that?

1431
01:32:22.680 --> 01:32:26.159
Why not you? Who are you that you're so special

1432
01:32:26.479 --> 01:32:29.039
that you're going to get out of this life without

1433
01:32:29.079 --> 01:32:30.439
pain and heartache? Right?

1434
01:32:31.279 --> 01:32:34.119
When good things happen, good things happen to bad people,

1435
01:32:34.159 --> 01:32:36.359
and bad things happen to good people happening exactly.

1436
01:32:37.119 --> 01:32:40.239
None of us are exempt. None of us are so

1437
01:32:40.479 --> 01:32:43.600
special that we are not going to have anything bad

1438
01:32:43.720 --> 01:32:46.279
or anything good happen to us. But if we look

1439
01:32:46.319 --> 01:32:50.119
at it this way, if nothing bad ever happens to me,

1440
01:32:51.000 --> 01:32:53.520
how am I going to appreciate the good things that

1441
01:32:53.640 --> 01:32:54.960
do right?

1442
01:32:55.239 --> 01:32:59.000
It's like it's like it's like saying It's like saying,

1443
01:32:59.000 --> 01:33:01.319
you know what, how would you know what lover is

1444
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:08.439
experience hate? You know, like, you know what, how do you.

1445
01:33:08.520 --> 01:33:12.600
Know how to love others if you've never experienced hate.

1446
01:33:13.199 --> 01:33:15.560
One of the reasons. And people told me this all

1447
01:33:15.600 --> 01:33:19.199
the time, I'm too nice, you know. They think people

1448
01:33:19.279 --> 01:33:23.000
walk all over me. Bro, I'm not blind when these

1449
01:33:23.039 --> 01:33:27.920
things are happening. I'm giving people opportunity. Right, I'm living

1450
01:33:28.680 --> 01:33:33.680
and walking in forgiveness and I'm not holding on to

1451
01:33:34.520 --> 01:33:38.800
pain and anger and resentment. Because I have forgiven, I

1452
01:33:38.800 --> 01:33:42.680
have moved forward. I have picked myself up off the ground.

1453
01:33:44.039 --> 01:33:46.399
That doesn't mean it didn't hurt, it doesn't mean it

1454
01:33:46.399 --> 01:33:49.760
didn't break me. It just means I'm getting back up

1455
01:33:49.800 --> 01:33:53.640
and I'm putting my pieces back together. Differently, it didn't

1456
01:33:53.680 --> 01:33:55.840
work that way, so now I need to put these

1457
01:33:55.840 --> 01:33:59.760
same pieces back together, but in a different order because

1458
01:34:00.119 --> 01:34:02.880
the last time didn't work. We're gonna try something new,

1459
01:34:03.479 --> 01:34:05.800
and if that doesn't work, I'm gonna put my pieces

1460
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:07.720
back and maybe my foot's gonna be on top of

1461
01:34:07.720 --> 01:34:09.039
my head. Who cares?

1462
01:34:09.680 --> 01:34:11.000
Or up somebody's ass?

1463
01:34:11.319 --> 01:34:14.479
Yeah something, you know. So people are always like you're

1464
01:34:14.520 --> 01:34:17.560
too nice. You let people no, I'm not. But the

1465
01:34:17.600 --> 01:34:20.399
truth of the matter is the only way I got

1466
01:34:20.439 --> 01:34:23.720
to be this nice is because I know what it

1467
01:34:23.840 --> 01:34:27.399
is to be broken. I know what it is to

1468
01:34:27.520 --> 01:34:29.800
be lost. I know what it is to be in

1469
01:34:29.840 --> 01:34:31.960
the dark. But the truth of the matter is I

1470
01:34:31.960 --> 01:34:34.319
have a tattoo on my arm. It says hope begins

1471
01:34:34.399 --> 01:34:38.479
in the dark. Right. If I never knew what darkness

1472
01:34:38.520 --> 01:34:42.840
look like, I could not appreciate the light. If I

1473
01:34:42.960 --> 01:34:46.640
never knew what wanting to die look like, then I

1474
01:34:46.680 --> 01:34:50.279
can never be on my knees grateful for another day. Right.

1475
01:34:50.520 --> 01:34:53.960
So sometimes we need those bad things to happen just

1476
01:34:54.039 --> 01:34:56.479
so that we can be in a good place later.

1477
01:34:57.319 --> 01:34:59.720
You know all that you've been through. Look now, you're

1478
01:34:59.720 --> 01:35:02.720
a fine of a beautiful little girl. This is your

1479
01:35:02.800 --> 01:35:07.319
opportunity to see how holding on that one more day

1480
01:35:08.119 --> 01:35:10.560
brought new life, brought happiness.

1481
01:35:10.600 --> 01:35:13.239
Oh absolutely, like yes, like like look you know what,

1482
01:35:13.520 --> 01:35:15.159
like like you know what the thing is, you know

1483
01:35:15.159 --> 01:35:18.840
what I'm saying, Like like you know what a perspective, right,

1484
01:35:19.560 --> 01:35:22.239
learning is a gift and pain is my teacher. Pain

1485
01:35:22.279 --> 01:35:23.359
will always be my teacher.

1486
01:35:23.840 --> 01:35:25.960
Yeah, but look at it this way. If you didn't

1487
01:35:26.000 --> 01:35:28.439
have the pain in your back, right, you couldn't be

1488
01:35:28.479 --> 01:35:30.359
a stay at home dad like you are right now,

1489
01:35:31.279 --> 01:35:32.039
I'm a housewife.

1490
01:35:32.119 --> 01:35:32.920
Excuse yourself.

1491
01:35:32.960 --> 01:35:36.479
Okay, okay, you couldn't be You couldn't be a housewife

1492
01:35:36.520 --> 01:35:40.359
the way that and even though and even though.

1493
01:35:40.119 --> 01:35:43.560
For most people, for a yo, you know what, that

1494
01:35:43.640 --> 01:35:45.439
hurts my pride. I'm gonna be honest with you. You know

1495
01:35:45.439 --> 01:35:47.920
what I'm saying because like because like you know what,

1496
01:35:48.439 --> 01:35:48.920
speak on.

1497
01:35:48.960 --> 01:35:51.119
That as a man, that's not what you want to

1498
01:35:51.119 --> 01:35:51.520
be doing.

1499
01:35:51.760 --> 01:35:55.079
However, no it's not. But who who's.

1500
01:35:54.840 --> 01:35:58.720
To say that you doing that for your daughter now

1501
01:35:59.479 --> 01:36:03.399
turns out to be something that she needed to be

1502
01:36:03.520 --> 01:36:06.479
who she's going to be later, that.

1503
01:36:06.479 --> 01:36:11.199
She's going to be a bully done. Now I'm just

1504
01:36:11.239 --> 01:36:14.119
playing like like look, you know what, like I always

1505
01:36:14.119 --> 01:36:17.319
tell on this, I'm like, yeah, I have plans, God

1506
01:36:17.399 --> 01:36:20.359
have plans. You know what I'm saying, what's up listening?

1507
01:36:21.359 --> 01:36:26.800
Look at me in skyship I have with her, of course,

1508
01:36:26.880 --> 01:36:30.840
I'm saying. From the day she was born to the

1509
01:36:31.119 --> 01:36:36.159
till till forever, the bond that me and that girl

1510
01:36:36.279 --> 01:36:41.399
have is like no other. Absolutely, That's why I tell you.

1511
01:36:41.439 --> 01:36:43.560
That's why I tell you. The time that you that

1512
01:36:43.600 --> 01:36:49.279
you're spending with her now and going forward, it's going

1513
01:36:49.359 --> 01:36:50.039
to be erished.

1514
01:36:50.439 --> 01:36:52.600
I'll be having yo. I'll be having yo. I ain't

1515
01:36:52.640 --> 01:36:54.359
gonna lie man like, I'll be having a little too

1516
01:36:54.439 --> 01:36:57.039
much fun. You know what I'm saying, Like you know what,

1517
01:36:57.560 --> 01:37:00.640
like you know, like like mom to me. She you

1518
01:37:00.640 --> 01:37:01.920
know what I'm saying, She used to have a schedule

1519
01:37:01.920 --> 01:37:03.479
in that time, but now she falls to sleep. A

1520
01:37:03.479 --> 01:37:05.960
little later, I'll be taking a place and you know

1521
01:37:05.960 --> 01:37:08.520
what I'm saying, like little mama, let's go, let's gonna

1522
01:37:08.520 --> 01:37:10.119
be me. You know what I'm saying. I lay down

1523
01:37:10.159 --> 01:37:11.119
with her. You know what I'm saying, try to like

1524
01:37:12.520 --> 01:37:14.720
that and I'm the one and I'm going to ends

1525
01:37:14.800 --> 01:37:16.600
up falling to sleep. But she's here slapping the shit

1526
01:37:16.640 --> 01:37:18.279
out of me, and shit, you know what I'm saying.

1527
01:37:18.279 --> 01:37:21.039
And do you think as a woman that your girl

1528
01:37:21.920 --> 01:37:25.239
doesn't feel some type of way because she's not the

1529
01:37:25.279 --> 01:37:25.880
one doing that.

1530
01:37:27.399 --> 01:37:30.760
Yeah, I mean, I mean you know what. I wish

1531
01:37:30.800 --> 01:37:31.640
you could switch roles.

1532
01:37:32.800 --> 01:37:35.560
Yes, But the thing is, there's a reason. You have

1533
01:37:35.640 --> 01:37:38.920
to believe that there is a good reason why the

1534
01:37:39.039 --> 01:37:42.880
roles are where they are now. Because it's killing you

1535
01:37:42.960 --> 01:37:46.760
to be killing you to be home and for her,

1536
01:37:47.239 --> 01:37:51.279
it's killing her as a woman to not be the mom,

1537
01:37:51.760 --> 01:37:54.239
to not be the nurturer and be with her all

1538
01:37:54.239 --> 01:37:56.159
that time. But there's a reason.

1539
01:37:56.319 --> 01:37:59.199
There is a purpose, and I know there's a reason.

1540
01:37:59.359 --> 01:38:01.399
You want to know why. I'm gonna say it once

1541
01:38:02.000 --> 01:38:04.920
and I'm gonna say it again. See, I have plans.

1542
01:38:06.000 --> 01:38:09.800
God has plans. Who you God had plans?

1543
01:38:09.800 --> 01:38:11.880
So who's planning when you want to see when you

1544
01:38:12.039 --> 01:38:14.760
want to see God laugh? Tell them you got plans.

1545
01:38:15.640 --> 01:38:19.560
You know, like you know, liked like, I'll.

1546
01:38:19.399 --> 01:38:24.479
See you got plans, but they ain't my plans.

1547
01:38:22.840 --> 01:38:26.119
Exactly, you know, like like you know, like but you know,

1548
01:38:26.199 --> 01:38:28.159
like everybody used to say that. I'm like, hey, you

1549
01:38:28.159 --> 01:38:30.479
want to make God laugh, make plans? You know what

1550
01:38:30.520 --> 01:38:33.199
I'm saying, Because guarantee whatever plans you're going, whatever plans

1551
01:38:33.199 --> 01:38:38.439
that you have, it's not happening. Some of them may happen,

1552
01:38:39.600 --> 01:38:42.720
but the full one hundred plans not happening. Like you know,

1553
01:38:43.439 --> 01:38:43.800
I got it.

1554
01:38:43.840 --> 01:38:47.000
I got a question. Somebody eating chips.

1555
01:38:48.399 --> 01:38:50.479
No, I'll just open the freezer because I'm about to

1556
01:38:50.680 --> 01:38:51.880
child down or something like.

1557
01:38:53.159 --> 01:38:56.079
But hold on, hold on real quick. And Coon, I

1558
01:38:56.159 --> 01:38:59.119
told you this right, you know, when I found out that,

1559
01:38:59.199 --> 01:39:01.239
you know, I was having a baby, I was like,

1560
01:39:01.319 --> 01:39:03.159
damn that I have plans. You know, I want to

1561
01:39:03.199 --> 01:39:05.520
do hood Rats ship with my hood rap friends of Vegas.

1562
01:39:05.680 --> 01:39:11.600
I'm like, goodbye Vegas, Hello, disney Land, goodbye Dots Charging Hey,

1563
01:39:11.800 --> 01:39:15.760
hello Kire Carnival. I'm like ship, you know.

1564
01:39:16.079 --> 01:39:19.199
Like, so, so here's my here's my question. Here's my question.

1565
01:39:20.159 --> 01:39:21.680
And this is this is full out the thought of

1566
01:39:21.800 --> 01:39:28.640
because this is she's she's on the road. So when

1567
01:39:29.000 --> 01:39:32.119
when when you when you get involved with someone, right

1568
01:39:32.359 --> 01:39:38.239
might being getting involved with someone? What if this person

1569
01:39:38.479 --> 01:39:42.560
that you get involved with, right, yeah, isn't because I

1570
01:39:42.640 --> 01:39:46.039
know I know your your your and we don't we

1571
01:39:46.079 --> 01:39:51.439
don't talk about religion and stuff or anything. But how

1572
01:39:52.479 --> 01:39:57.039
how do you manage being in a relationship with someone

1573
01:39:57.800 --> 01:40:04.560
who isn't as into religion as you are, Well, do

1574
01:40:04.600 --> 01:40:08.479
you not? Do you not? Do you not deal with

1575
01:40:08.520 --> 01:40:10.680
it and and just keep it moving? Or I mean

1576
01:40:11.199 --> 01:40:13.319
what if? I mean, how how does it? How does

1577
01:40:13.359 --> 01:40:14.600
it work? I mean do you have to.

1578
01:40:14.720 --> 01:40:17.680
Well, it's different, it's different for everybody. It depends on

1579
01:40:18.600 --> 01:40:23.680
your your belief your your faith, your religion. Like right

1580
01:40:23.720 --> 01:40:28.560
now in my life, I'm not asking anybody to be

1581
01:40:30.079 --> 01:40:35.640
like me, right and it's different for everybody. Some people

1582
01:40:35.720 --> 01:40:38.600
are very adamant. If you're not a Christian, I'm not

1583
01:40:38.640 --> 01:40:41.159
messing with you. If you're not Muslim, I'm not messing

1584
01:40:41.199 --> 01:40:45.079
with you, like because that's that's their faith and that's

1585
01:40:45.079 --> 01:40:47.239
what they believe. If you're if you're not Jewish, I

1586
01:40:47.279 --> 01:40:52.600
can't be with you. So if you're asking me personally,

1587
01:40:54.079 --> 01:40:56.479
my thing is, I'm not asking you to be on

1588
01:40:56.520 --> 01:40:59.680
the walk with him that I'm on. But you do

1589
01:40:59.760 --> 01:41:02.159
have to know him, you do have to have a

1590
01:41:02.319 --> 01:41:05.520
relationship with him. You have to at least want a

1591
01:41:05.600 --> 01:41:11.199
closer relationship. So because I have found that for me,

1592
01:41:11.399 --> 01:41:16.600
my belief system has been such an integral part of

1593
01:41:16.680 --> 01:41:23.800
my positive life of mind. Yeah, my walk, my improvement

1594
01:41:23.960 --> 01:41:27.439
my success. It's such a big part of that that

1595
01:41:27.600 --> 01:41:30.199
I have to make the conscious choice that I can't

1596
01:41:30.920 --> 01:41:36.000
enter into a relationship with someone who doesn't at least

1597
01:41:36.680 --> 01:41:42.319
have the desire to know him. Like I said, they

1598
01:41:42.359 --> 01:41:44.039
may not be where I'm at, like I go to

1599
01:41:44.119 --> 01:41:47.439
church twice a week, they might not be where I'm at,

1600
01:41:47.720 --> 01:41:51.119
But I can't be with someone who doesn't believe at all,

1601
01:41:51.199 --> 01:41:54.960
you know. So that's a personal choice. It's how much

1602
01:41:56.960 --> 01:42:00.119
how much value do you give your belief system, how

1603
01:42:00.199 --> 01:42:05.119
much value do you give your religion, how strongly do

1604
01:42:05.199 --> 01:42:08.560
you practice it, what part does it play in your life?

1605
01:42:09.520 --> 01:42:09.720
You know?

1606
01:42:10.520 --> 01:42:17.920
Like those are all again conversations and communication because it's

1607
01:42:17.960 --> 01:42:21.680
such a for me, it's such an integral part of

1608
01:42:21.720 --> 01:42:24.760
who I am as a person that if I'm with

1609
01:42:24.920 --> 01:42:28.760
somebody who doesn't even believe in God, or if I'm

1610
01:42:28.840 --> 01:42:32.880
with someone who doesn't have a relationship or want to

1611
01:42:32.880 --> 01:42:35.880
have a relationship, how is that going to work for me?

1612
01:42:36.079 --> 01:42:41.760
Considering I am such a loving, sensitive person. But I

1613
01:42:41.840 --> 01:42:45.359
am that way because that is what my God, what

1614
01:42:45.640 --> 01:42:49.000
the God tells me to be, to be forgiving, to

1615
01:42:49.119 --> 01:42:51.680
be loving, that's how I can be who I am.

1616
01:42:52.359 --> 01:42:55.239
So if I put myself with someone in a relationship

1617
01:42:55.239 --> 01:42:58.800
with someone who doesn't want that, who doesn't believe that,

1618
01:42:58.960 --> 01:43:03.000
who's not even in interested in knowing that. How does

1619
01:43:03.039 --> 01:43:06.680
that work? Because then that means he can't respect why

1620
01:43:06.720 --> 01:43:09.359
I am who I am, And that means that I

1621
01:43:09.359 --> 01:43:12.119
could never hold what was that?

1622
01:43:13.119 --> 01:43:13.920
Walking easy?

1623
01:43:14.000 --> 01:43:14.159
Man?

1624
01:43:15.119 --> 01:43:16.359
Walk is not easy at all.

1625
01:43:16.960 --> 01:43:22.560
It is the most challenging, the challenging hard.

1626
01:43:23.199 --> 01:43:26.239
Yes, the more you believe, the harder your journey is

1627
01:43:26.279 --> 01:43:26.840
going to be.

1628
01:43:27.199 --> 01:43:30.560
That's that is that and and and you know what

1629
01:43:30.640 --> 01:43:32.399
and like and like you know what. And that's what

1630
01:43:32.479 --> 01:43:35.000
turns a lot of people off about it because it's

1631
01:43:35.000 --> 01:43:36.119
like but.

1632
01:43:36.039 --> 01:43:39.399
They're not to hear what the reward for that.

1633
01:43:39.399 --> 01:43:42.399
Is exactly, you know, like like like you know what,

1634
01:43:42.479 --> 01:43:44.680
like like I said, you know what that that's what

1635
01:43:44.760 --> 01:43:47.279
turns a lot of people off from it because you

1636
01:43:47.279 --> 01:43:48.479
know what, like but.

1637
01:43:48.479 --> 01:43:51.920
Look at the now how many how many dealers have

1638
01:43:52.039 --> 01:43:56.439
you known that said I had no other choice. That

1639
01:43:56.640 --> 01:43:58.960
was the only life I knew. There was no other

1640
01:43:59.039 --> 01:44:01.520
way I had to make money. It's the same thing

1641
01:44:01.920 --> 01:44:02.199
for me.

1642
01:44:02.319 --> 01:44:03.600
There is no other choice.

1643
01:44:03.640 --> 01:44:07.600
There is no other way, you.

1644
01:44:08.399 --> 01:44:10.319
Know what though, like like you know but but but

1645
01:44:10.760 --> 01:44:14.319
what I'm trying to say from experience as someone that's

1646
01:44:14.359 --> 01:44:21.319
slowly transitioning slowly, you know, like it is like the more,

1647
01:44:22.079 --> 01:44:25.640
it's the more, the more, the more you give in

1648
01:44:25.960 --> 01:44:28.359
the herder, the beating, you know what I'm saying, that

1649
01:44:28.399 --> 01:44:30.159
you give from the outside world, if you know what

1650
01:44:30.199 --> 01:44:33.800
I mean, you know, like, yeah, the more the the

1651
01:44:34.239 --> 01:44:37.239
you know, like the more you know, like the more

1652
01:44:37.439 --> 01:44:40.520
like like the like the it's like it's like it's like,

1653
01:44:40.560 --> 01:44:42.520
all right, so you're at the summon the amount of

1654
01:44:42.640 --> 01:44:44.359
rest you're trying to and you're trying to climb that

1655
01:44:44.439 --> 01:44:48.840
last five thousand feet and the most treacherous part mm hmm, right,

1656
01:44:49.720 --> 01:44:51.399
and like you're climbing and you're looking at you know

1657
01:44:51.439 --> 01:44:53.279
what I'm saying, all the people that didn't make it,

1658
01:44:53.800 --> 01:44:56.760
you know, you looking at their bodies, right, and then

1659
01:44:56.800 --> 01:44:59.319
like you know, like you're climbing and the weather, you

1660
01:44:59.319 --> 01:45:00.840
know what I'm saying, the weather changes out, you know

1661
01:45:00.840 --> 01:45:04.640
what I'm saying, all of a sudden, you know, and

1662
01:45:04.640 --> 01:45:08.239
it's like and it's like, you know what I'm saying,

1663
01:45:08.279 --> 01:45:11.000
Like just to climb to get to the summit of

1664
01:45:11.079 --> 01:45:14.640
where you're trying to get to on that part is

1665
01:45:14.680 --> 01:45:22.520
the hardest thing because you know, but the beatings that

1666
01:45:22.600 --> 01:45:25.199
you take along the way you're supposed to take you

1667
01:45:25.520 --> 01:45:28.119
so you can be stronger on the spiritual level.

1668
01:45:28.880 --> 01:45:31.399
Right but if the okay, so you're talking about the mountain, right,

1669
01:45:32.279 --> 01:45:36.720
if you're if your dream, if your life dream is

1670
01:45:36.760 --> 01:45:44.199
to climb Killiman Jarrow, Mount Everst right, you know Mount Elfres.

1671
01:45:44.239 --> 01:45:49.520
You know that for you, that is the ultimate ultimate gift,

1672
01:45:49.680 --> 01:45:54.479
right that that once you did that, you've accomplished. Anything

1673
01:45:54.520 --> 01:45:57.039
else you accomplish your life will never amount to that.

1674
01:45:57.199 --> 01:46:02.920
Right now, you know that the higher you go, the

1675
01:46:02.960 --> 01:46:05.199
worse you're not going to be able to breathe, the

1676
01:46:05.199 --> 01:46:08.159
more danger you put yourself in, right, but you do

1677
01:46:08.199 --> 01:46:12.600
it because that and because the end result is worth

1678
01:46:12.880 --> 01:46:19.359
all of that. The frost bite, the the dehydration, the malnutrition.

1679
01:46:20.399 --> 01:46:23.520
You know that for you, for you.

1680
01:46:23.319 --> 01:46:26.840
That that is the malnutrition as long as you have.

1681
01:46:26.840 --> 01:46:39.640
Some n Wow. Bro, Now, but like you know, you know,

1682
01:46:39.840 --> 01:46:41.640
you know, like and not only that, you know what

1683
01:46:41.640 --> 01:46:43.760
I'm saying, Like like you know what I'm saying. Going

1684
01:46:43.800 --> 01:46:46.359
to the summit, you know, like the wind chills, like

1685
01:46:46.399 --> 01:46:47.960
you know, like the wind you know what I'm saying.

1686
01:46:47.960 --> 01:46:49.439
I don't know where you know what I'm saying, the

1687
01:46:49.520 --> 01:46:52.880
uncontrollable storms because of the higher atmosphere, or like the

1688
01:46:52.960 --> 01:46:56.600
landslides and the avalanches and all that stuff, like like

1689
01:46:56.640 --> 01:46:58.439
you know, like every like everything, you know what I'm saying,

1690
01:46:58.479 --> 01:47:02.399
everything you do from here wrong is considered. How's it

1691
01:47:02.439 --> 01:47:05.039
is in a way. Yeah, the only thing that you have,

1692
01:47:05.119 --> 01:47:08.960
you know what I'm saying, Like your faith is and

1693
01:47:09.359 --> 01:47:12.239
the gear that you're wearing, and that lifeline that you've

1694
01:47:12.279 --> 01:47:14.119
got that you know that you have to like throw up,

1695
01:47:14.560 --> 01:47:15.800
you know what I'm saying, the hope that you know,

1696
01:47:15.920 --> 01:47:19.239
like it it attaches, like you know what I'm saying,

1697
01:47:20.119 --> 01:47:22.319
to a rock that's like hard enough to like support

1698
01:47:22.359 --> 01:47:24.479
your weight. That's your faith, a.

1699
01:47:24.560 --> 01:47:28.279
Solid foundation, solid foundation. But let me put it in

1700
01:47:28.359 --> 01:47:29.399
more Layman's terms.

1701
01:47:29.439 --> 01:47:31.439
Okay, yeah, no doubt.

1702
01:47:32.039 --> 01:47:37.439
We know that when somebody gives us something, we don't

1703
01:47:37.479 --> 01:47:40.880
take as good care of it as if we work

1704
01:47:41.079 --> 01:47:42.600
and paid for it ourselves.

1705
01:47:42.880 --> 01:47:43.159
Right?

1706
01:47:44.520 --> 01:47:45.880
Is that correct? Am I? Right? Wrong?

1707
01:47:46.439 --> 01:47:47.800
Right now?

1708
01:47:47.840 --> 01:47:48.359
You're right?

1709
01:47:49.479 --> 01:47:53.840
So the thing that we work the hardest for is

1710
01:47:53.840 --> 01:47:57.439
what makes us the proudest, is what makes us the happiest,

1711
01:47:58.000 --> 01:48:00.560
because every day we can look at that that we

1712
01:48:00.680 --> 01:48:03.560
saved for that, We worked for that, we blood, sweat

1713
01:48:03.640 --> 01:48:07.960
and tears for. Be proud of it, Love it, take

1714
01:48:08.000 --> 01:48:13.319
care of it as opposed to something somebody gave to you.

1715
01:48:13.840 --> 01:48:16.520
So it means nothing to you. There is no value

1716
01:48:16.520 --> 01:48:18.279
to it, and you don't take as good care of

1717
01:48:18.319 --> 01:48:20.560
it as you would if you had worked for it

1718
01:48:20.600 --> 01:48:21.359
and paid with it with.

1719
01:48:21.399 --> 01:48:24.279
Your own mind. Also, it depends on who gets to you.

1720
01:48:26.439 --> 01:48:31.640
Yeah, but the point is if you got it for yourself,

1721
01:48:31.760 --> 01:48:37.079
you have pride about that. You you take care of it. Yeah,

1722
01:48:37.239 --> 01:48:39.880
like our kids. Our kids are the perfect example, right,

1723
01:48:41.840 --> 01:48:46.960
although and not all of them are blood related. Right,

1724
01:48:47.039 --> 01:48:52.800
But you you gave love, you gave affection, you gave care,

1725
01:48:52.960 --> 01:48:56.680
You watched out for them. You protected them. They were

1726
01:48:56.720 --> 01:49:00.439
your purpose. You were put here to protect them, to

1727
01:49:00.600 --> 01:49:06.399
love them. Excuse me, you would not just allow anybody

1728
01:49:06.600 --> 01:49:11.439
to do anything to them, you know, you protect that. Like,

1729
01:49:12.119 --> 01:49:14.199
let me tell you something, and my daughter has seen it.

1730
01:49:14.920 --> 01:49:17.479
I'm very non confrontational. I might have a little base

1731
01:49:17.520 --> 01:49:19.640
in my voice because of where I grew up, how

1732
01:49:19.680 --> 01:49:22.399
I grew up, things that I've done for work, you know,

1733
01:49:22.479 --> 01:49:24.399
all kinds of stuff. So I might have all that.

1734
01:49:25.079 --> 01:49:28.039
But people who truly know me, or actually listen to

1735
01:49:28.079 --> 01:49:32.159
the things that I say, Know how soft I am,

1736
01:49:32.319 --> 01:49:37.319
how loving and caring and affectionate that I can be. Right,

1737
01:49:38.079 --> 01:49:41.640
I'm very non confrontational. I will always avoid the problem

1738
01:49:42.000 --> 01:49:44.199
if I feel that there's another way, if it's not

1739
01:49:44.279 --> 01:49:47.319
necessary to throw down. I'm not throwing down, and I'm

1740
01:49:47.319 --> 01:49:49.239
not going to cause a problem where there is no

1741
01:49:49.359 --> 01:49:53.960
problem just for the sake of doing it. But I

1742
01:49:54.079 --> 01:49:59.520
tell you this, mess with any of my daughters, my

1743
01:49:59.640 --> 01:50:07.279
grand daughter, and will catch a case. Okay, I will

1744
01:50:07.319 --> 01:50:11.960
go to jail. I will kill a mother for my

1745
01:50:12.159 --> 01:50:18.159
kids because they are They're not even mine. They are

1746
01:50:18.279 --> 01:50:21.439
the greatest gift that I have ever been trusted to

1747
01:50:21.600 --> 01:50:27.359
care for. Right. That is my ultimate job on this earth,

1748
01:50:28.520 --> 01:50:33.199
aside from loving and doing what I'm told by my God,

1749
01:50:34.399 --> 01:50:38.960
is to protect these lives and show them how to live,

1750
01:50:39.359 --> 01:50:42.920
what path to go into, support them, be there to

1751
01:50:42.960 --> 01:50:46.479
pick up their pieces when they break. It's not to

1752
01:50:46.520 --> 01:50:49.319
do it for them, it's to support them. It's to

1753
01:50:49.359 --> 01:50:53.119
teach them. It's to care for them. Right. So that's

1754
01:50:53.159 --> 01:50:55.840
the thing. And being a parent is one of the

1755
01:50:55.880 --> 01:50:58.760
hardest things I've ever had to do in my life.

1756
01:51:00.279 --> 01:51:01.600
It definitely is something that.

1757
01:51:02.000 --> 01:51:04.119
Let me, let me tell you my mom. Did your

1758
01:51:04.159 --> 01:51:05.960
mom ever tell you this is gonna hurt me more

1759
01:51:06.000 --> 01:51:08.840
than it hurt you? And you were like what you're

1760
01:51:08.880 --> 01:51:09.319
talking about?

1761
01:51:09.479 --> 01:51:13.760
And that was right before the time I came flying, Yes.

1762
01:51:13.760 --> 01:51:17.119
Right before or for me the freaking wooden spoon broke

1763
01:51:17.159 --> 01:51:19.720
on my butt? Right, how's this gonna hurt you worse

1764
01:51:19.760 --> 01:51:21.840
than it hurt me. It wasn't until I became a

1765
01:51:21.880 --> 01:51:25.840
mother that I understood that while I'm beating you behind,

1766
01:51:26.439 --> 01:51:30.479
I am breaking on the inside because emotionally, the last

1767
01:51:30.520 --> 01:51:34.960
thing I ever want to do hurts you. But if

1768
01:51:35.039 --> 01:51:38.439
I don't do this, if I don't discipline you, not

1769
01:51:38.640 --> 01:51:42.800
hurt you, but discipline you show you right from wrong,

1770
01:51:44.199 --> 01:51:48.840
you were going to suffer later. So I have to

1771
01:51:48.960 --> 01:51:53.560
do this to save you. I have to do this,

1772
01:51:54.119 --> 01:51:57.000
to show you what love looks like. I have to

1773
01:51:57.119 --> 01:52:00.640
do this so that you don't hurt. So, Yes, it's

1774
01:52:00.680 --> 01:52:04.000
gonna hurt me to do this more than it's gonna

1775
01:52:04.039 --> 01:52:07.079
hurt you. To get a little pout bowl for a minute,

1776
01:52:07.319 --> 01:52:10.359
Your butt is gonna sting for an hour. My heart's

1777
01:52:10.399 --> 01:52:15.720
gonna hurt for years. So that's what it's like. That's

1778
01:52:15.920 --> 01:52:22.600
so Unfortunately at this part in my life, I can't

1779
01:52:22.640 --> 01:52:27.319
even consider being with someone who doesn't at least want

1780
01:52:27.399 --> 01:52:32.640
to know want to live that life, because even in

1781
01:52:32.760 --> 01:52:38.760
daily living, it's so rewarding when you know for a

1782
01:52:38.840 --> 01:52:43.880
fact that something is promised to you and that it's

1783
01:52:43.920 --> 01:52:47.039
actually gonna come true. You don't know when, you don't

1784
01:52:47.039 --> 01:52:53.039
know how, but you know that's somebody that's never gonna

1785
01:52:53.079 --> 01:52:55.920
lie to you and it is always gonna come It

1786
01:52:56.000 --> 01:53:00.479
is always going to happen. So to be with because

1787
01:53:00.640 --> 01:53:05.840
to me, that's just like that's asking myself to be punished,

1788
01:53:06.000 --> 01:53:09.439
you know. And when you build and when you build

1789
01:53:09.479 --> 01:53:12.640
a relationship on a firm foundation, like Doves was saying,

1790
01:53:13.239 --> 01:53:17.520
when you build your foundation on rock and not on sand,

1791
01:53:18.600 --> 01:53:23.159
you know that the storm cannot blow it over. So

1792
01:53:24.680 --> 01:53:26.560
you asked me that question. I don't know if you

1793
01:53:26.560 --> 01:53:28.359
were asking me in general or you were asking me

1794
01:53:28.399 --> 01:53:30.840
as a person, But for me, it's not an option.

1795
01:53:31.119 --> 01:53:35.640
They have to they have to believe. They don't got

1796
01:53:35.640 --> 01:53:37.960
to be on my level, but they have to believe,

1797
01:53:39.359 --> 01:53:41.880
and if they don't, then they don't have anything that

1798
01:53:41.920 --> 01:53:42.399
I need.

1799
01:53:44.680 --> 01:53:47.960
That makes a lot of sense because like, because like

1800
01:53:48.039 --> 01:53:53.640
you know, what like like I said, you know, I

1801
01:53:53.680 --> 01:53:56.119
actually you know a quick story, Like my mom and

1802
01:53:56.119 --> 01:53:58.119
my dad they always took me to church like a

1803
01:53:58.199 --> 01:54:04.560
great grandfather was a was a preacher, you know, and

1804
01:54:05.039 --> 01:54:07.439
like you know, like like you know what, like every

1805
01:54:07.479 --> 01:54:11.640
Sunday was like church, you know, like and I went

1806
01:54:11.720 --> 01:54:14.000
until like my grandmother died. Once my grandmother died, like

1807
01:54:15.119 --> 01:54:17.640
you know, I went to a dark place other than that,

1808
01:54:17.680 --> 01:54:20.319
but like I always knew that God existed, you know

1809
01:54:20.439 --> 01:54:22.680
what I mean. I just you know what I'm saying.

1810
01:54:23.399 --> 01:54:29.520
I just went against everything, like I rebelled, and you

1811
01:54:29.560 --> 01:54:31.279
know what I'm saying, like my you know what I'm saying,

1812
01:54:31.439 --> 01:54:33.199
my rebellion. You know what I'm saying. For so long,

1813
01:54:34.159 --> 01:54:36.840
you know something that you know, you kind of get

1814
01:54:36.920 --> 01:54:41.079
used to up until you know what I'm saying, up

1815
01:54:41.159 --> 01:54:46.720
until that one situation where everything like you have the

1816
01:54:46.760 --> 01:54:50.800
lowest of your low And believe me, it wasn't a

1817
01:54:50.840 --> 01:54:52.359
time when like you know what I'm saying, the three

1818
01:54:52.520 --> 01:54:55.279
suicide attempts that you know that had me in my

1819
01:54:55.319 --> 01:54:58.119
lowest form. It was when I got arrested for my

1820
01:54:58.239 --> 01:55:00.000
d even saying my d Y and I was like

1821
01:55:00.560 --> 01:55:06.640
I was like yo, and like being handcuffed, right, and

1822
01:55:07.840 --> 01:55:10.920
I've used the bathroom, so like I still had, you know,

1823
01:55:11.399 --> 01:55:15.239
pills in my pocket that they ain't like like you know,

1824
01:55:15.359 --> 01:55:19.279
like they you know, fiss me, right, and I ended

1825
01:55:19.319 --> 01:55:22.279
up like sneaking and popping the pills and in the

1826
01:55:22.319 --> 01:55:28.720
precinct and I got high, you know, like and the

1827
01:55:28.760 --> 01:55:30.359
fact that my parts have to come pick me up

1828
01:55:30.359 --> 01:55:34.960
because like it's it's five in the morning and nobody

1829
01:55:35.000 --> 01:55:39.640
I knew was awake. That made me realize that something

1830
01:55:39.680 --> 01:55:42.359
had to change. And it's the fact that you know

1831
01:55:42.399 --> 01:55:44.359
what I'm saying, like it dawned on me. I was

1832
01:55:44.479 --> 01:55:46.600
high as shit. I'm like, yo, you know, I started

1833
01:55:46.640 --> 01:55:49.760
laughing at myself, but it wasn't even funny, but I

1834
01:55:49.800 --> 01:55:52.760
was laughing because when I get nervous and start laughing,

1835
01:55:53.399 --> 01:55:57.359
I was like, you know, if they would have actually

1836
01:55:57.359 --> 01:56:01.159
did their job, not only would have had a du why,

1837
01:56:01.199 --> 01:56:04.640
but I would have had a drug charge, you know.

1838
01:56:04.920 --> 01:56:11.399
And that's God right there, you know, Like, and that's

1839
01:56:11.439 --> 01:56:15.399
why I'm so thankful for about du why believe it

1840
01:56:15.520 --> 01:56:18.960
or not, Like I'm glad I got arrested, because if

1841
01:56:18.960 --> 01:56:22.319
I didn't get arrested, you know what, I'm saying the

1842
01:56:22.399 --> 01:56:25.479
next would have been me killing somebody, and then I'm

1843
01:56:25.520 --> 01:56:28.239
sitting in the cell vehicular mess lord, or I wouldn't

1844
01:56:28.239 --> 01:56:31.199
even be here. And I'm telling you this. You know

1845
01:56:31.199 --> 01:56:34.640
what I'm saying because I know who I used to be,

1846
01:56:36.319 --> 01:56:38.640
you know, like coll the only be like yo, you

1847
01:56:38.720 --> 01:56:41.520
just sleep both of while I tell Neggar drunk has

1848
01:56:41.520 --> 01:56:45.279
helped Negga. If I don't drink and drive, how the

1849
01:56:45.319 --> 01:56:48.760
fuck am I going to get home? You know, like

1850
01:56:48.880 --> 01:56:52.159
no regard, but no regard for other people's lives more

1851
01:56:52.239 --> 01:56:55.680
or less no regard for my own, you know. Like

1852
01:56:55.800 --> 01:57:02.239
now from that du why I'm about to make mm hmm.

1853
01:57:02.920 --> 01:57:07.800
I'm about to be four years sober. You know, I'll

1854
01:57:07.800 --> 01:57:09.439
be going to you know, I've been going to church,

1855
01:57:09.479 --> 01:57:11.399
believe it or not. Like I don't come across as

1856
01:57:11.399 --> 01:57:15.039
someone that you know, come, you know what I'm saying,

1857
01:57:15.039 --> 01:57:19.039
go to church, you know, but this is what I do.

1858
01:57:20.399 --> 01:57:22.800
You know, like I go to church. I'm trying to change.

1859
01:57:22.840 --> 01:57:25.399
Like if you listen to the past episodes to where

1860
01:57:25.399 --> 01:57:27.880
I'm at right now, I feel like you know what

1861
01:57:27.880 --> 01:57:30.600
I'm saying. There's been a lot of tone down things

1862
01:57:30.600 --> 01:57:32.640
because some of the jokes I may say, yeah, you

1863
01:57:32.680 --> 01:57:37.359
know what I'm saying, but I like, it's just you know,

1864
01:57:37.399 --> 01:57:39.520
I'm saying there's a lot of things that I used

1865
01:57:39.560 --> 01:57:44.039
to want to say. I won't say it because I like,

1866
01:57:44.119 --> 01:57:46.880
you know, it's not it's not me. And that's how

1867
01:57:46.920 --> 01:57:51.119
I know that God is working slowly. You know. I'm

1868
01:57:51.119 --> 01:57:53.720
one of them hardheaded children that you know, God will punish,

1869
01:57:54.600 --> 01:57:56.920
you know, like he will slap around just to get

1870
01:57:56.920 --> 01:58:03.079
his point across. And I accept that, you know, But

1871
01:58:03.119 --> 01:58:06.439
what God did for me, He's gave me an opportunity

1872
01:58:06.479 --> 01:58:13.199
to be a father again and three times a charm,

1873
01:58:13.239 --> 01:58:16.640
you know, like he gave me an opportunity to make

1874
01:58:16.800 --> 01:58:17.439
this one like.

1875
01:58:19.199 --> 01:58:21.640
You know, And.

1876
01:58:23.479 --> 01:58:25.479
That's what he's done for me so far. I feel

1877
01:58:25.479 --> 01:58:26.880
like he's done. I feel like he's done a little

1878
01:58:26.920 --> 01:58:30.600
too much because I don't deserve it, none of us two.

1879
01:58:32.199 --> 01:58:35.960
But you know what, you know what I'm saying, The more,

1880
01:58:36.239 --> 01:58:39.119
the more, the more I keep pushing through, you know

1881
01:58:39.159 --> 01:58:42.840
what I'm saying, I just want to keep pushing through

1882
01:58:42.840 --> 01:58:44.720
at the end of the day, man, because I don't

1883
01:58:45.760 --> 01:58:46.600
I don't ever want.

1884
01:58:46.479 --> 01:58:50.560
To go back to Yo you you were West three.

1885
01:58:51.279 --> 01:58:53.840
But I won't. I don't ever want to go back

1886
01:58:53.880 --> 01:58:56.920
to where I was at three years ago. You know,

1887
01:58:57.399 --> 01:59:00.399
three years ago, I thought I was happy for I was.

1888
01:59:00.680 --> 01:59:02.720
I was high every weekend. You know what I'm saying.

1889
01:59:02.720 --> 01:59:04.720
That was my happiness. I was high every weekend. I

1890
01:59:04.720 --> 01:59:09.800
was drunk every weekend. You know, that was my happiness.

1891
01:59:09.920 --> 01:59:12.319
You know, because you know what a lot of us,

1892
01:59:13.159 --> 01:59:16.199
a lot more people are running away from something, you

1893
01:59:16.239 --> 01:59:18.720
know what I'm saying than they are chasing something. You

1894
01:59:18.760 --> 01:59:22.159
know what I'm saying, or you know what, let's put

1895
01:59:22.159 --> 01:59:25.840
this in perspective, like what I was doing. I was

1896
01:59:25.960 --> 01:59:30.840
running away from my reality, chasing a fantasy that came

1897
01:59:30.880 --> 01:59:34.279
in a form of liquor and pills and occasional powder.

1898
01:59:37.560 --> 01:59:38.960
I don't do none of that, you know what I'm saying.

1899
01:59:39.000 --> 01:59:42.840
I face my realities and sometimes, you know, like sometimes

1900
01:59:42.840 --> 01:59:45.319
I hate my reality for a moment. And the reason

1901
01:59:45.319 --> 01:59:46.960
why I say I hate it is because, you know what,

1902
01:59:47.319 --> 01:59:49.800
I feel like, I can't change it for a moment,

1903
01:59:51.079 --> 01:59:57.199
but I know it will change personally. You know, my

1904
01:59:57.279 --> 02:00:01.000
reality is this. I eventually will have to get rids

1905
02:00:01.039 --> 02:00:05.199
in my back. You know. I don't like that I did,

1906
02:00:06.319 --> 02:00:13.359
but things are subject to change, you know. Yeah, things

1907
02:00:13.399 --> 02:00:15.720
are always subject to change for the better. And you

1908
02:00:15.760 --> 02:00:18.600
know what, and you know what, and my reality is this,

1909
02:00:19.039 --> 02:00:21.479
I'm not going to get those rods on my back, no,

1910
02:00:22.680 --> 02:00:29.039
you know, because I believe that guy will find a

1911
02:00:29.039 --> 02:00:30.359
better way for my you know what I'm saying, to

1912
02:00:30.359 --> 02:00:34.119
heal my back. You know, doctors to do their jobs,

1913
02:00:34.119 --> 02:00:35.760
of course, but you know what, God to open the

1914
02:00:35.800 --> 02:00:38.520
door for that doctor to do with his job, you

1915
02:00:38.520 --> 02:00:44.239
know what I'm saying. So that's my reality. You know,

1916
02:00:44.319 --> 02:00:47.319
like sometimes like sometimes you know what, I'm human, don't

1917
02:00:47.359 --> 02:00:49.520
don't forget you know what I'm saying. I'm human and said,

1918
02:00:49.520 --> 02:00:51.000
we're all human. You know what I'm saying, We're not that.

1919
02:00:51.039 --> 02:00:52.399
You know what I'm saying, Like you said, it's okay

1920
02:00:52.399 --> 02:00:54.439
to not be okay. There's times of like you know,

1921
02:00:55.039 --> 02:00:57.000
there's times of like you know, like I look at

1922
02:00:57.000 --> 02:00:59.079
my daughter, I'll start crying, like you know, like we's

1923
02:00:59.159 --> 02:01:01.199
not do more. Then I'll get happy because you.

1924
02:01:01.159 --> 02:01:03.600
Know what you're doing, what you're doing this?

1925
02:01:03.920 --> 02:01:06.920
Yeah, yeah, right, you know what I'm saying, like like

1926
02:01:07.000 --> 02:01:09.479
you know, like you know what I'm saying, Like like

1927
02:01:09.600 --> 02:01:12.680
what like like on the other day, you know what

1928
02:01:12.680 --> 02:01:14.920
I'm saying like I was crying because I missed my brother,

1929
02:01:15.479 --> 02:01:16.800
and I was like, yo, you know what, and like

1930
02:01:16.920 --> 02:01:18.840
I feel bad that, you know, my daughter's here and

1931
02:01:19.920 --> 02:01:22.159
she never got a chance to meet my brother, right,

1932
02:01:22.520 --> 02:01:23.800
you know, the other day, like you know, when you're

1933
02:01:23.800 --> 02:01:26.680
talking or whatever about Thanksgiving and stuff. Right, but then

1934
02:01:26.720 --> 02:01:28.880
I realized, I'm like, you know what, he's always going

1935
02:01:28.920 --> 02:01:30.680
to be with her because my brother's name was.

1936
02:01:30.640 --> 02:01:31.319
Attached to her.

1937
02:01:33.119 --> 02:01:36.600
Kai, that's part of her middle name. That's always going

1938
02:01:36.640 --> 02:01:43.439
to be attached to her. You know. Like the responsibilities

1939
02:01:44.399 --> 02:01:46.399
that my brother had from my mom and my dad,

1940
02:01:46.760 --> 02:01:53.960
they fall on me, and you know what, and I'm

1941
02:01:54.039 --> 02:01:56.760
taking you know, I'm taking them as I can. You know,

1942
02:01:56.880 --> 02:01:58.039
do I want to do a lot more for my

1943
02:01:58.119 --> 02:02:00.239
parents because then during the twilight of their lives, of

1944
02:02:00.359 --> 02:02:04.319
course I do. I put my pass through hell. But

1945
02:02:04.439 --> 02:02:06.039
you know what, they're happy that I go to church.

1946
02:02:06.640 --> 02:02:09.720
They're happy that you know that, you know, I'll tell them, Hey,

1947
02:02:09.720 --> 02:02:13.600
I call you back. I'm a Bible class. You know,

1948
02:02:13.760 --> 02:02:16.319
Like they're happy about that. You know, like they're happy that,

1949
02:02:16.399 --> 02:02:18.960
you know, like like I try to get myself involved

1950
02:02:19.000 --> 02:02:21.680
in prayer classes. I may not talk, you know, like

1951
02:02:22.000 --> 02:02:24.239
like it, but this is what I'm trying to do,

1952
02:02:25.840 --> 02:02:29.680
you know, because you know what like like back then,

1953
02:02:29.760 --> 02:02:34.279
like you know, growing up, you know, like the used

1954
02:02:34.279 --> 02:02:36.000
to listen to Wou Tang and there's a song called

1955
02:02:36.840 --> 02:02:44.680
Bible Basic Constructions before leaving Earth, right and when you

1956
02:02:44.720 --> 02:02:46.439
know what I'm saying, like it adds so much more

1957
02:02:46.520 --> 02:02:49.319
now that I'm actually reading the Bible again, because it's

1958
02:02:50.439 --> 02:02:53.039
it is basic instructions. But like what makes the hardest

1959
02:02:53.039 --> 02:02:57.119
the fact that we have free will, you know, the

1960
02:02:57.199 --> 02:02:58.560
free will alone is like you know.

1961
02:02:59.600 --> 02:03:02.039
It's like it's hard.

1962
02:03:03.000 --> 02:03:07.359
And then you know there's the opposition where the biggest

1963
02:03:07.439 --> 02:03:11.520
live that he ever says that he don't exist, you know.

1964
02:03:12.239 --> 02:03:14.640
But like you know, like it's like the more you

1965
02:03:14.760 --> 02:03:17.359
read into it, the more you see. You know what

1966
02:03:17.359 --> 02:03:19.000
I'm saying. How safe you know what I'm saying, Like

1967
02:03:19.159 --> 02:03:23.039
how like how like intertwined like you know, everything is

1968
02:03:26.399 --> 02:03:29.600
so like yeah, that's that's that's the reason why, like

1969
02:03:29.680 --> 02:03:32.079
you know, like I became more you know what I'm saying,

1970
02:03:32.279 --> 02:03:37.159
like like I dove more you know into it right right,

1971
02:03:38.720 --> 02:03:41.439
you know because like because because because like believe it

1972
02:03:41.560 --> 02:03:43.880
or not, like you know, like the hip hop music

1973
02:03:43.960 --> 02:03:46.119
back in the nineties, like when Mutang was dropping knowledge

1974
02:03:46.119 --> 02:03:48.000
and you know you have raz Cast and foul Mount

1975
02:03:48.079 --> 02:03:49.920
and all that stuff, like they'll actually be get played

1976
02:03:49.960 --> 02:03:54.840
on the radio. Right, they were dropping like you know,

1977
02:03:56.239 --> 02:03:59.479
they were dropping gems and stuff, right, you know, like

1978
02:04:00.479 --> 02:04:02.640
like five percent of stuff. But the five percent of

1979
02:04:02.680 --> 02:04:05.960
stuff like you know it derived from you know, some

1980
02:04:06.079 --> 02:04:08.159
parts of the Bible, some parts of Islam, some parts

1981
02:04:08.159 --> 02:04:08.760
of the Bible, you.

1982
02:04:08.800 --> 02:04:10.159
Know that stuff.

1983
02:04:10.560 --> 02:04:13.359
So the you know what I'm saying, Like that's why

1984
02:04:13.359 --> 02:04:14.960
I said, like you know, like they're dropping nods and

1985
02:04:15.039 --> 02:04:17.640
like that's what like you know, open me up as

1986
02:04:17.680 --> 02:04:21.680
a teenager to like still have that, you know, have

1987
02:04:21.840 --> 02:04:25.680
that a place where that yeah, God still exists, you

1988
02:04:25.720 --> 02:04:26.279
see what I mean.

1989
02:04:26.800 --> 02:04:29.399
Yeah, so.

1990
02:04:31.199 --> 02:04:36.960
I understand, but like like yo, you know, well lady said, Yo,

1991
02:04:37.039 --> 02:04:38.000
that's you know that that was.

1992
02:04:38.560 --> 02:04:39.039
That was real.

1993
02:04:42.439 --> 02:04:45.640
Absolutely you don't have real too.

1994
02:04:46.720 --> 02:04:48.000
The fact that my daughter.

1995
02:04:49.520 --> 02:04:52.439
Was like me, while I was talking, my daughter farted

1996
02:04:52.520 --> 02:04:57.800
and let out a little smirk, right, and in my

1997
02:04:58.000 --> 02:04:59.920
in my mind you know, like like like you know,

1998
02:05:00.119 --> 02:05:02.199
like like I took a second, I took a second

1999
02:05:02.359 --> 02:05:07.600
pause or whatever, and I'm like, I hope she ain't cooping. Herself. Yeah,

2000
02:05:07.880 --> 02:05:11.000
well yeah, you know what, you know, like like you

2001
02:05:11.079 --> 02:05:14.359
know what, stuff like stuff like this where you know

2002
02:05:14.359 --> 02:05:18.399
what I'm saying like, it makes me, Yo, I'm lucky

2003
02:05:18.439 --> 02:05:21.000
at my age, you know, to be where I'm at,

2004
02:05:21.359 --> 02:05:25.359
you know, with a be a terrible to terrible two

2005
02:05:25.439 --> 02:05:25.760
year old.

2006
02:05:26.600 --> 02:05:30.680
Yeah, because hold on, Dove, Yeah yeah, another one of

2007
02:05:30.720 --> 02:05:33.359
your another screen of you popped up and I don't

2008
02:05:33.359 --> 02:05:35.079
know what happened and just disappeared. How to bring you

2009
02:05:35.159 --> 02:05:39.520
back up? I don't know. Yeah.

2010
02:05:39.800 --> 02:05:40.800
Places At the same.

2011
02:05:40.680 --> 02:05:43.800
Time, Wi Fi is really working the night.

2012
02:05:46.199 --> 02:05:52.119
Comcast Comcast because because because you know what, because you

2013
02:05:52.159 --> 02:05:52.319
know what.

2014
02:05:53.279 --> 02:05:55.560
Oh yeah, I was Files.

2015
02:05:55.640 --> 02:05:59.039
I was like, man, I'm running on I'm running on

2016
02:05:59.239 --> 02:06:03.359
fires Man with that. Yeah, say what you gotts.

2017
02:06:03.199 --> 02:06:06.560
Say is man, I hate tam Mobile. Man like t

2018
02:06:06.720 --> 02:06:10.039
Mobile Files, Man, I hate it, you know, like because

2019
02:06:10.119 --> 02:06:13.359
like you know what, like it's it's like you know

2020
02:06:13.439 --> 02:06:17.840
what they say, like it's unlimited, but everything's.

2021
02:06:17.439 --> 02:06:21.119
Always they put a cap on it after Yeah, exactly,

2022
02:06:21.199 --> 02:06:21.359
you know.

2023
02:06:21.359 --> 02:06:23.520
What I'm saying, Like it it's like, yo, you know what,

2024
02:06:23.600 --> 02:06:24.399
so what are we paying for?

2025
02:06:25.159 --> 02:06:25.279
Right?

2026
02:06:26.600 --> 02:06:29.279
So that with that being said, do we have any

2027
02:06:29.359 --> 02:06:30.079
listeners tonight?

2028
02:06:30.960 --> 02:06:34.000
No, we had we actually had. It was a lot.

2029
02:06:34.079 --> 02:06:36.680
We had a lot. It was you don't you don't

2030
02:06:36.720 --> 02:06:39.880
see the next to where it says live the number,

2031
02:06:40.119 --> 02:06:41.520
the little eyeball with the number.

2032
02:06:43.439 --> 02:06:46.680
Nah, you don't know what. You don't see that, Like, bro,

2033
02:06:46.840 --> 02:06:49.479
I'm on my phone, to be honest, on the phone,

2034
02:06:49.560 --> 02:06:51.760
all right, yeah you know what like like like you know,

2035
02:06:51.880 --> 02:06:53.520
like if you're on a laptop at THATSK top you

2036
02:06:53.560 --> 02:06:56.840
probably see that, Like I personally don't. So it's like

2037
02:06:57.319 --> 02:06:58.560
I'm just like rambling away like.

2038
02:06:58.920 --> 02:07:02.600
Well, we well to be to be quite honest, that

2039
02:07:02.760 --> 02:07:07.479
the chat room wasn't really live, but the viewers were

2040
02:07:07.760 --> 02:07:10.239
like it was jump It was jumping up and down,

2041
02:07:10.359 --> 02:07:11.920
up and down, up and down. So we had we

2042
02:07:12.000 --> 02:07:13.920
had a We had a hefty amount of viewers tonight.

2043
02:07:14.880 --> 02:07:15.399
So so.

2044
02:07:17.000 --> 02:07:20.720
Anyway, with that being said, Dubbs, give me your final

2045
02:07:20.760 --> 02:07:21.520
thought of the evening.

2046
02:07:24.399 --> 02:07:28.039
Final thought of the evening. Believing yourself the most importantly believing.

2047
02:07:29.039 --> 02:07:31.800
Find faith in what you can find faith in. You

2048
02:07:31.880 --> 02:07:35.359
know what I'm saying, which is yourself for understanding you

2049
02:07:35.399 --> 02:07:38.840
know what, if it wasn't, if it wasn't for the

2050
02:07:38.960 --> 02:07:41.840
person you don't that you cannot see, you will not

2051
02:07:42.000 --> 02:07:44.560
be here. I'm not trying to It's hard to like

2052
02:07:45.720 --> 02:07:47.840
not speak on it on a you know what I'm

2053
02:07:47.840 --> 02:07:49.800
saying on a religious level. But I'm just trying to faith,

2054
02:07:49.880 --> 02:07:52.039
like you know, you know what I mean, like like

2055
02:07:52.119 --> 02:07:54.880
you know, like like I was like, I don't want

2056
02:07:54.880 --> 02:07:57.439
to tip to a right Look, look, believe a god

2057
02:07:57.520 --> 02:08:00.119
or believe in yourself man, because you know what, if

2058
02:08:00.119 --> 02:08:02.239
you woke up this morning, then he was already blessed.

2059
02:08:02.760 --> 02:08:07.399
All right, what's your final thought of the evening?

2060
02:08:07.800 --> 02:08:12.439
My final thought is there is somebody out here for everybody.

2061
02:08:13.720 --> 02:08:16.600
Don't settle for less than you know that you're worth.

2062
02:08:19.359 --> 02:08:24.000
Because at the end of life, as long as you

2063
02:08:24.079 --> 02:08:28.840
don't settle, you can be happy alone instead of miserable

2064
02:08:28.920 --> 02:08:29.720
with the wrong person.

2065
02:08:36.000 --> 02:08:41.720
Oh that makes a lot of sense. I'm giving you

2066
02:08:41.800 --> 02:08:43.760
props for that ship. That is really dope.

2067
02:08:44.920 --> 02:08:49.000
Love will find us. It will find us, corleone, Yes

2068
02:08:49.119 --> 02:08:54.760
it will, Yes, it will hold on. And something else

2069
02:08:54.920 --> 02:08:58.279
is for the right one, you will not have to

2070
02:08:58.439 --> 02:09:02.000
beg you will not have to ask. It would just

2071
02:09:02.159 --> 02:09:10.079
be provided and freely given. Yeah, So that that that

2072
02:09:10.279 --> 02:09:13.000
that right person, they're going to be your cheerleader and

2073
02:09:13.039 --> 02:09:14.800
you're not even gonna have to beg them to do it.

2074
02:09:17.520 --> 02:09:22.159
Until then, just keep dreaming and living your dream.

2075
02:09:22.920 --> 02:09:25.239
You know, you know what prior to my you know

2076
02:09:25.239 --> 02:09:27.760
what I'm saying, prior to like you know my situation now,

2077
02:09:27.800 --> 02:09:29.720
Like if you were saying something like that, if you

2078
02:09:29.800 --> 02:09:32.520
were saying something like that, I probably have been like,

2079
02:09:34.279 --> 02:09:36.359
you know what I'm saying, you're just hopeless romantic. But

2080
02:09:36.760 --> 02:09:40.279
seeing that you know that whole cheerleader part, yeah, because like, yo,

2081
02:09:40.359 --> 02:09:42.359
you know what, I'm a dude, and you know what

2082
02:09:42.359 --> 02:09:44.479
I'm saying. And whenever my girl does something you're saying

2083
02:09:44.479 --> 02:09:48.039
accomplishing something, it could be the smallest thing. You know

2084
02:09:48.079 --> 02:09:49.600
what I'm saying, I'll put up you know, I got

2085
02:09:49.640 --> 02:09:51.159
my pomp palms out and be like give me a

2086
02:09:51.279 --> 02:09:54.279
b B. Yeah, I'm not gonna still out her name,

2087
02:09:54.359 --> 02:09:56.079
but you know what I'm saying, Like like you know,

2088
02:09:56.199 --> 02:09:58.079
like I'll be I'll be a little Cheerleader's not.

2089
02:09:58.079 --> 02:10:01.159
A problem, right, But it's because you don't want to

2090
02:10:01.199 --> 02:10:04.600
do it for her, right of course, when somebody.

2091
02:10:04.399 --> 02:10:09.319
Loves nothing for you, and hold on, hold on real quick,

2092
02:10:09.600 --> 02:10:11.640
funny story. So, like you know what, when she was pregnant, right,

2093
02:10:11.800 --> 02:10:14.560
we used to get the arguments, right, I hang up

2094
02:10:14.560 --> 02:10:15.920
the phone on her being a deck and I'll call

2095
02:10:15.960 --> 02:10:19.119
her back up no more than fifteen minutes later, and like,

2096
02:10:19.199 --> 02:10:21.520
you know, she'd be sniffling whatever. I'll be feeling bad

2097
02:10:22.159 --> 02:10:24.079
and I didn't and I didn't know how to apologize,

2098
02:10:24.960 --> 02:10:26.159
so like I'll be you know what I'm saying with

2099
02:10:26.239 --> 02:10:27.760
an angry voice. I'm like, you know what I'm saying,

2100
02:10:27.840 --> 02:10:35.560
sounded like DMX you angry? Yeah, chop cheese? Yeah? Could

2101
02:10:35.600 --> 02:10:39.520
they get some? You know I'm like, yeah, that too, right,

2102
02:10:40.560 --> 02:10:44.159
So I'll go get the chop cheese. Get her like

2103
02:10:44.199 --> 02:10:45.760
you know what I'm saying, KC mask. You know what

2104
02:10:45.800 --> 02:10:48.920
I'm saying, like bake macaroni whatever and whatever, you know,

2105
02:10:49.000 --> 02:10:51.960
pregnancy favorite she had, right, she'd be outside.

2106
02:10:51.960 --> 02:10:52.319
I'll be there.

2107
02:10:52.359 --> 02:10:53.760
You know what I'm saying with an angry face.

2108
02:10:53.760 --> 02:10:57.680
Like here, Oh, I take this too. Oh and you

2109
02:10:57.760 --> 02:10:59.119
know what, I got you a beverage.

2110
02:10:59.199 --> 02:11:01.920
Take this what I'm saying with an attitude, right, and

2111
02:11:02.000 --> 02:11:04.279
then like you'll start smiling. I was like, happy mommy,

2112
02:11:04.359 --> 02:11:06.840
happy baby. You know what I'm saying. I'm like, happy mommy,

2113
02:11:07.000 --> 02:11:09.279
happy baby. And I'll speed off. You're pissed off and

2114
02:11:09.319 --> 02:11:12.800
stuff you know, because I didn't know how to apologize, like,

2115
02:11:12.920 --> 02:11:14.039
you know what I'm saying, Like, it was hard for

2116
02:11:14.119 --> 02:11:16.640
me to apologize because you know what I felt like,

2117
02:11:16.720 --> 02:11:19.159
you know, I felt like I was always writing things.

2118
02:11:20.079 --> 02:11:23.000
But oh yeah, another thing fellas learn how to be wrong,

2119
02:11:24.239 --> 02:11:25.680
you know, trust me, you know what I'm saying, Like,

2120
02:11:27.079 --> 02:11:29.560
sometimes it's good to be wrong. That's what I'm gonna say.

2121
02:11:31.039 --> 02:11:34.359
Mm hmm, all right, that was that was a good one.

2122
02:11:35.119 --> 02:11:37.039
And I thought I had a good one too, and

2123
02:11:37.159 --> 02:11:38.439
that that that was really good.

2124
02:11:38.600 --> 02:11:49.560
I like that. All right, he's gonna bring out of that.

2125
02:11:52.079 --> 02:11:54.520
I find thought of the evening and enjoy saying your

2126
02:11:54.600 --> 02:12:01.880
ankle yea, it's only you have the soundboard for that

2127
02:12:02.039 --> 02:12:03.760
video game, bro, Yeah.

2128
02:12:03.720 --> 02:12:05.439
No, I got, I got. I have a soundboard. I

2129
02:12:05.520 --> 02:12:07.279
just got to get it to work, right man, it's.

2130
02:12:09.520 --> 02:12:09.760
I know.

2131
02:12:09.920 --> 02:12:12.159
And I have some stuff recorded on it too. That's

2132
02:12:12.199 --> 02:12:14.319
so funny. But the problem is I can hear it,

2133
02:12:15.119 --> 02:12:18.319
but on playback you don't hear it, So it makes

2134
02:12:18.359 --> 02:12:20.479
no sense for us to use it right now if

2135
02:12:20.720 --> 02:12:22.399
only we can hear it, but then when it plays

2136
02:12:22.479 --> 02:12:24.760
back on the videos that people watch, you can't hear it,

2137
02:12:24.840 --> 02:12:27.000
so it won't make any sense. I'm trying to figure

2138
02:12:27.039 --> 02:12:29.479
out how to get that working. Final thought of the

2139
02:12:29.560 --> 02:12:35.880
evening is this, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to fail.

2140
02:12:37.520 --> 02:12:41.520
Don't be afraid to to to go after the things

2141
02:12:42.399 --> 02:12:47.000
that you feel are good for you. If you feel

2142
02:12:47.119 --> 02:12:53.279
something it's right for you. If you feel something can

2143
02:12:54.560 --> 02:13:00.399
add purpose to your life, don't be free to go

2144
02:13:00.560 --> 02:13:08.119
after it. Remember, failing is part of the process. Fail forward,

2145
02:13:09.319 --> 02:13:12.479
take what you learn from that failure, apply it to

2146
02:13:12.600 --> 02:13:18.600
your life, try again, and move forward. You have a

2147
02:13:18.680 --> 02:13:22.439
purpose in life, and there's nothing wrong with adding people

2148
02:13:23.119 --> 02:13:27.640
that bring more purpose into your life. So with that

2149
02:13:27.760 --> 02:13:34.640
being said, that's Dubs a Dawn, that's Lady g I'm big.

2150
02:13:34.720 --> 02:13:38.439
Holy on doctor Hank, Smash him and always remember that

2151
02:13:38.479 --> 02:13:39.319
at some point.

2152
02:13:40.800 --> 02:13:41.520
This might hurt.

2153
02:13:46.880 --> 02:13:47.800
Good Night, everybody,