It's Always About Real Fun, Real Life & Real Talk
Oct. 8, 2026

Surviving What They Took From You

Surviving What They Took From You
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Season 13

Sexual assault doesn’t discriminate and the trauma doesn’t simply disappear when the moment is over. In “Surviving What They Took From You,” we have a raw, uncomfortable, and necessary conversation about sexual assault against both women and men, the scars nobody can see, and the lifelong battle survivors can face afterward. We’re talking about silence, shame, trust, relationships, triggers, healing, and the strength it takes to keep moving forward. No jokes at the survivor’s expense. No victim blaming. No bullshit. Just real life, real trauma, and real talk because sometimes, This Might Hurt.

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WEBVTT

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Hey, what's up everybody? It's Big Coleon of the This

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Might Hurt Podcast coming to you live without a hat on. See,

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I got a big head. But anyway, coming to you

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live from, you know, where we're always live from. Let

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me bring in my lovely co-hosts. Lady G, how are you?

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I'm good. How's everybody doing?

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All right, let me bring in TG Love. TG, what's good?

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Tired, hello.

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I think you're delayed.

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It is what it is, bro.

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All right. So, what's up, everybody? How's everybody doing? How's

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everybody been?

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Good. Can't complain.

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Yeah. It's been a pretty hectic week, right?

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I've had the longest day. It's not over. Because I'm

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still here. Doing things. But yes, I'm exhausted. I don't

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like working. Working sucks. I don't want to adult anymore.

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I don't want to go to work. I don't want

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to work tomorrow.

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I'm over it.

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All right. So, well, today's topic is a... A doozy.

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A doozy. That's exactly what it is. A doozy, right?

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And it can't go.

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You know, you can't go without speaking about it because

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it's important. It literally affects millions of people. And sometimes

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it goes unheard and it shouldn't. It should never go unheard.

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So I'm going to let.

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What?

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Sorry.

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Sorry.

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I had to have something, but just a trigger warning

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for everybody, because we are going to be talking about

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a pretty violent subject that has been pretty much like

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the focus on social media lately. And so for some

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people that may be triggering. So we just want to

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warn you ahead of time that we are going to

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be talking about some real shit that may be remind

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people of their own experiences or something. And for some

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people that can be triggering. So I just wanted to

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say that to preface going into this.

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All right. So disclaimer.

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Disclaimer.

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Yeah. So why don't, why don't we start with you?

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Who's you?

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What are you looking at?

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Yeah. I said you like, like everybody knows who me. TG,

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let's start. Let's, let's, let's let you kick it off, please.

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All right. So the topic that we are going to

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talk about is grape. And I'm going to say that

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because I don't know if they would ding us or,

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you know what I'm saying?

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Right.

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So I'm going to be sharing. some experiences that I

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have had, but more so this is more of just

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an informative podcast, hoping to reach people. Um, like I said,

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this may be relatable to a lot of women out

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there and some men, you know, so, and this is

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not going to be, uh, you know, men are horrible

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and blah, blah, blah. That's not what this is about.

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This is more about putting more awareness around something very

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serious that is impacting a lot of us. From myself,

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it was very triggering to learn not only about the

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Cornell seven, and that's the big topic, right? That everyone

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is talking about because it's talking about like, College life, fraternities,

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frat parties, and what's around that. I don't know about

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you guys, but for myself, frat parties have always had

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a bad name. As a woman, it was not... Well,

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let me say, I didn't go to college and stay there.

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So I had a very different college experience. than maybe

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other people. But, you know, in your twenties, you don't

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know who you are. That's the time to start figuring

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things out that you're learning, you know, college is that experience. So,

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you know, to think that you are going out to

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have fun with friends and the night becomes something else,

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you know, that is not an expectation anyone has. And

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not only so these acts, I'm more hurt and angry

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about the reactions and the comments. As though Jane Doe

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is not believable. As though Jane Doe deserved what she got.

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Because she went drunk to a frat party. And And

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coincidentally also made plans with someone she thought she could trust.

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And apparently that was not the case, as we learned

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with all the events coming out and, you know, her

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statement and things surrounding it. But for me, it's the inaction,

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the way the school handled things, or I should say

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the way the school didn't handle things at all. And,

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you know, ruined. a young woman's life because for me,

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that's what I'm focusing on right now is the victim

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now survivor. And as one myself, it's very triggering to

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hear and see so many more stories. I mean, kudos

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for real to anyone who, Who is willing and brave

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enough to share their story about things that have happened

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to them? Because there's a lot on that. There's a

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lot of guilt carried. There's a lot of blame that

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you carry. You know, you think to yourself, what could

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I have done possibly for things to not go in

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this direction or for this to not happen? But the

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reality is that when someone isn't going to respect you,

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then you're going to be disrespected in the worst of

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ways sometimes. And it's unfortunate because in my experience, the

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sexual assaults that I have been through.

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I.

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Consented in the beginning and then things changed. And I

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was very verbal that I was hurting. I was saying no.

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I asked them to stop multiple times. And they did not.

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I honestly didn't even realize that I was assaulted because

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I invited this person. And I... said yes in the beginning.

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And so therefore, I didn't even know until I shared

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what happened with a very close friend at the time.

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And she's the one who made me realize what had happened.

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And it wasn't something that I was going to report.

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I'm going to be honest. Like, unfortunately, because the of

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the inaction and the way that women are blamed in

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these situations, not only is it embarrassing to have to

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go to the police, but to share what happened and

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then not be believed or nothing come out of it

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is even worse. So for me, that's very triggering because

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as a child, I was sexually abused and I told

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my mother And she didn't believe me. So, you know,

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I have that still, those scars, that pain of not

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being cared for, not being believed. And so when I

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tell you this weekend, I was triggered beyond anything. And

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I was angry at people that had nothing to do

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with this. And I was struggling because I was like,

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why am I so mad? at these people that I

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could give two shits about right now. Right. And I

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talked to one of my best friends and she was like,

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there's something deeper there and you gotta dig, you gotta

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dig in. And it's hard to dig in sometimes, you know,

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you want to keep shit surface level at times because

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it is easier. And, you know, I realized all these

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things happening, the reactions, the fact that women, Aren't believed.

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It triggered. My past situations. It triggered. It's almost like

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you're screaming. But nobody's listening. That's what it feels like. And.

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And it's unfair. And I. It hurts me that other

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people hurt and that we as women don't feel safe.

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We've been taught that from, you know, I can't even

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remember from when, but I've always known that I had

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to protect myself and be careful, you know, I don't

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feel that mothers or anybody are saying to their sons, well,

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you got to be careful out there. You know, like

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these women. No, it's not that. That's not the story.

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The reality is, is that the story is, is that

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it's the men. It's the men in the numbers. It's

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the men. And that's why we're talking about it. Because

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not only is it the men. but is an accepted

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behavior by other men. All, all. Because if any guy

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has bragged about a woman and doing things with her, whatever.

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And I, as a woman have experiences because I have

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a lot of guy friends who like to talk shit.

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And when they're talking shit about stuff, you know, it's,

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it's that, That fun, you know, oh, this, that, and

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the other. But it's like, but that's not okay. Like,

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at the end of the day, we're human. We are human, right?

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But we have differences. Men and women definitely have differences. Like,

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we are not equal or the same in many aspects. Like,

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we wanted to be treated with respect. And that's really

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all women are asking for, where we're asking for equality.

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We're asking for respect. Like that's all we want. And

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it's not hard to teach your children what consent looks like,

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not just with words, but body language. Okay. Because I,

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I don't know about you guys, but growing up as Hispanics,

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we always kissed and hugged everybody. Like that wasn't even like,

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is that okay? No, like nobody asked. Right. It's just

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something we, you do. Right. And with, with kids, I

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feel like they, you know, if they're not comfortable hugging

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the uncle, maybe there's a reason why, but like she

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shouldn't have to hug him. You know what I'm saying?

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Like there's, there's just things that we do that kind

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of like, don't teach like the whole me giving consent, me,

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you know, having body autonomy and saying, this is okay.

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This isn't okay. Like just as a little, we're grown.

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We're always talking about boundaries, right. In relationships and whatever.

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It's the same thing. Like I've, always try to, you know,

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talk to people when we're talking about sex and, and people,

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you know, having consensual sex or your partner, whoever it was.

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I always taught people that you should find out what

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it is that your partner likes and you should communicate

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as well, what you like. And these are conversations we have.

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And these things are important too, because great doesn't just happen.

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Ransom.

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Strangers, some people you know, it happens in marriages too.

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So this whole thing of this expectation that our bodies

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are here for your enjoyment and entertainment and that anything

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that I do could be misconstrued as a sexual invitation.

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And that's ridiculous. You know, I know I feel like

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we've had conversations before about like women wearing certain things and,

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you know, showing off their body and whatnot. And I

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still don't feel that is a reason to think that

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someone is asking for it or that someone, because she's

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wearing a bikini or whatever, you know, like we go

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to the beach, people wear bikinis or all those bitches fucking,

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you know, they're out there. Are they asking for it?

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This logic and mentality that people have with this just

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makes no fucking sense. And I really want people to

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have the conversations, the hard fucking conversations with your children,

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especially teenagers, about what that is. And if she or

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he does not want to do something... then don't do it.

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Don't feel pressured that you have to do something because this,

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because of this other person, that's also not really consent.

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That's just like going along with shit, which you will regret.

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So to me, like, this is a huge topic. I

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don't want to take up all the time talking, but

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it's just like that right now is what's pressing. on me.

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What's the weight that's on me is the just whole

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not being believed, not being heard and listened to, not

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being respected when respect should be given, you know? And

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I've had parties where we all got drunk, like fucked up.

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And usually my brother would be the first to pass out, okay?

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Nobody was ramming fucking bottles up his ass, okay? They

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covered him. And if anything, if our friend G was around,

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she was putting whipped cream and fucking like bunny face

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on him or somebody to draw a dick. You know,

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that is the most people would do. But to think

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that because someone is drunk and like incapacitated in there

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and they have a pussy that it's free for anyone

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is beyond disgusting. beyond disgusting and that's the culture we

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need to fucking end like i'm really nervous for these

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generations because they do not have fucking any social anything

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they're on their phones all the time communicating on their

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phones it's just such a disconnect that they're also just

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not learning like those social cues those body that body

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language the faces that people make like when you're talking

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to people and they're not into you or something you

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can fucking tell You can tell when someone's not interested,

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but nobody owes you anything. The sense of entitlement is

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just ridiculous. All right, I need a drink. You guys,

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you can go.

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Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you. Hugs all around.

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Everybody's giving you hugs in the chat room.

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Yeah, I have no idea what they're saying.

231
00:20:43.930 --> 00:20:47.309
Yeah, I was posting it, but you were talking about that.

232
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That's all right. Remember, on my.

233
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Phone, I can't see anything. The words are like little

234
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ants walking.

235
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Yeah. Lady G, anything you want to.

236
00:21:04.180 --> 00:21:06.539
Well, I mean, just the topic as a whole.

237
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It's not even just about the current news situations. Um,

238
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it's something, you know, assault, violation, all of that. Those

239
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are things that have been happening for eons, for ages. Um,

240
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and with every different generation, it's been handled and seen

241
00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:34.740
in very different ways. So it's something that has always

242
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been happening. Um, I think one of the important things,

243
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kind of like what TG was saying, um, is that

244
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we as women need to educate and support, you know,

245
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our young women, our children, um, our friends, our family,

246
00:22:01.069 --> 00:22:02.970
you know, like we need to support one another.

247
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Um, I did.

248
00:22:08.170 --> 00:22:11.569
I think most women, not all, but most women in

249
00:22:11.609 --> 00:22:17.809
their life have experienced, you know, unfortunately some, some level

250
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of violation of boundaries of space of body. And, and it's,

251
00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:29.339
it affects them, you know, and it's not.

252
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Even just women.

253
00:22:30.099 --> 00:22:35.109
There are men who have experienced the same, the same things. And,

254
00:22:35.490 --> 00:22:40.119
you know, because of the messages that we, send and

255
00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:44.589
have sent in the past, it can make or break somebody,

256
00:22:45.309 --> 00:22:48.970
you know, it can definitely help to strengthen them by

257
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having that support team and realizing what's happening. But even

258
00:22:54.670 --> 00:23:01.130
more importantly, I think we need to educate one another,

259
00:23:01.150 --> 00:23:05.710
you know, kind of like what TG said, not Not

260
00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:10.380
giving permission to anything or putting blame on anyone.

261
00:23:10.420 --> 00:23:13.819
You know, people like to dress the way they like

262
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to dress.

263
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But I guess from the more, I don't even know

264
00:23:20.450 --> 00:23:22.890
what you would call it, but from a different perspective,

265
00:23:23.789 --> 00:23:28.009
it's like we also have to be accountable ourselves. What

266
00:23:28.430 --> 00:23:34.400
messages we are sending, what situations we are allowing ourselves

267
00:23:34.500 --> 00:23:40.829
to be in. Like TG, I have also had a

268
00:23:41.190 --> 00:23:48.039
lifetime of experiences with different types of violations and things

269
00:23:48.099 --> 00:23:55.339
like that. And although I would never wish those things

270
00:23:55.359 --> 00:24:01.470
on anyone, it has definitely helped me in my line

271
00:24:01.509 --> 00:24:04.609
of work to be able to help other people who've

272
00:24:04.630 --> 00:24:11.940
gone through it. to be able to share experiences. Hindsight, definitely.

273
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And I think we take topics like this, especially in

274
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the media like it is right now, and I don't

275
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think we really think about the impact. We just, we

276
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act on our emotions. We talk about things the way

277
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we feel. I mean, because topics like this really do

278
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make people angry and afraid and like just downright, you know, angry, angry.

279
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It's something that can totally take over someone's life.

280
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It can.

281
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Ruin relationships for the future. It just makes things hard.

282
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And I just, I don't think that we address it

283
00:25:04.029 --> 00:25:06.720
the way that it should or could be addressed. I

284
00:25:06.740 --> 00:25:11.000
don't think we take the time, you know, and the

285
00:25:11.059 --> 00:25:16.940
care with people, but we've also live in a time

286
00:25:17.740 --> 00:25:26.990
where physical intimacy, um, has become something that's commonplace, you know?

287
00:25:27.809 --> 00:25:33.250
So it's mixed signals all the time, you know? Um,

288
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:41.349
And it doesn't even matter if you start down that road,

289
00:25:41.809 --> 00:25:43.910
you know, like this is what I want.

290
00:25:43.970 --> 00:25:46.069
This is, you know, this is okay.

291
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Or allowing ourselves to be in situations that could potentially

292
00:25:50.619 --> 00:25:51.819
lead to something like that.

293
00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:53.660
It doesn't even.

294
00:25:53.539 --> 00:25:56.759
Matter what you do or say for anyone. The truth

295
00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:02.230
is once the word no has been said, once it

296
00:26:02.269 --> 00:26:05.710
has been expressed that this is not anything that I

297
00:26:05.789 --> 00:26:10.190
want any longer, at that point, all things should stop.

298
00:26:11.410 --> 00:26:12.390
All things should stop.

299
00:26:13.230 --> 00:26:18.109
And I've heard things like, well, you know, because you

300
00:26:18.130 --> 00:26:23.910
didn't like really, really stop the situation, you know, I

301
00:26:23.950 --> 00:26:26.910
just kind of kept going and, you know, all this

302
00:26:26.970 --> 00:26:27.589
kind of stuff.

303
00:26:27.710 --> 00:26:32.910
And it's almost like, trying to make excuses for it,

304
00:26:33.750 --> 00:26:34.089
you know.

305
00:26:36.150 --> 00:26:38.849
But it is a touchy, it's a touchy topic. It's

306
00:26:39.130 --> 00:26:41.910
something that we're always going to have different points of

307
00:26:41.970 --> 00:26:44.779
view on. You're going to have those that are like, oh,

308
00:26:44.819 --> 00:26:46.900
it's the woman's fault. And others are going to be like, oh,

309
00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:51.220
it's the man's fault. As usual, I'm going to take

310
00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:54.059
the comprehensive approach and say it's all of our faults

311
00:26:54.279 --> 00:27:01.029
or all of our responsibilities to educate ourselves, to It's

312
00:27:01.069 --> 00:27:03.410
funny because I'm actually teaching a class right now called

313
00:27:03.450 --> 00:27:09.019
guardrails and it's about us as individuals. Cause again, we

314
00:27:09.059 --> 00:27:11.799
can't control anyone else's behavior. It doesn't make it right.

315
00:27:12.559 --> 00:27:14.779
But if we prepare ourselves.

316
00:27:14.339 --> 00:27:17.440
Going into these potential situations, for instance, as a woman,

317
00:27:17.700 --> 00:27:21.309
as a woman in general, whenever I know I am

318
00:27:21.349 --> 00:27:28.730
going someplace where I may necessarily find myself by myself

319
00:27:28.829 --> 00:27:33.329
with a few people, uh, I'm sorry, but in our society,

320
00:27:33.829 --> 00:27:38.609
that is always something that could possibly happen. So I

321
00:27:38.650 --> 00:27:41.769
have to prepare myself before I go out as well

322
00:27:41.829 --> 00:27:44.730
as I can. Again, it doesn't prevent things from happening.

323
00:27:45.789 --> 00:27:48.349
But as a woman, I always need to be prepared

324
00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:56.480
that that could potentially be a situation. Not that I'm going.

325
00:27:56.279 --> 00:27:59.009
Into those situations... you know, in.

326
00:27:59.630 --> 00:28:03.609
That way or promoting it or wishing it or, you know,

327
00:28:03.630 --> 00:28:07.930
kind of telling the future or anything. But, you know,

328
00:28:08.430 --> 00:28:11.289
especially women, again, it's not just women, but especially women

329
00:28:11.349 --> 00:28:15.740
have to be prepared for those things, which means making

330
00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:20.569
sure that you're not alone, whether it's another woman and,

331
00:28:20.839 --> 00:28:23.720
you know, a friend, a family member, making sure you're

332
00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:29.630
not going to places alone, making sure that you have

333
00:28:31.079 --> 00:28:35.480
ideas or you know have some type of self-defense techniques

334
00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:39.700
you know available to you um you know the way

335
00:28:39.740 --> 00:28:42.190
you hold your keys you know just little things just

336
00:28:42.269 --> 00:28:45.470
knowing these little tiny things you can do in moments

337
00:28:46.390 --> 00:28:51.049
to help you in those situations and unfortunately Even if

338
00:28:51.130 --> 00:28:54.250
these things happen, we live in a world that doesn't

339
00:28:54.289 --> 00:28:56.309
want to take accountability for their behavior.

340
00:28:56.490 --> 00:28:57.230
And in this.

341
00:28:57.130 --> 00:29:00.230
Particular story that you were talking about, Tigi, you have

342
00:29:00.269 --> 00:29:06.549
a whole university who doesn't want to look bad, who

343
00:29:06.589 --> 00:29:14.450
wants to maintain their reputation and not report things. So

344
00:29:14.490 --> 00:29:17.109
it's not that these things aren't happening. It's just that

345
00:29:17.569 --> 00:29:24.359
they're being overlooked, underreported. you know, retaliated against, you know,

346
00:29:24.380 --> 00:29:29.720
like the negative consequences for actually needing to be seen

347
00:29:29.940 --> 00:29:33.740
and needing to be heard for some people are just

348
00:29:33.809 --> 00:29:37.150
not worth paying, you know, because it's something that calls

349
00:29:37.190 --> 00:29:40.339
a lot of attention to the whole situation and to

350
00:29:40.359 --> 00:29:43.359
the person you know and everybody is always no matter

351
00:29:43.420 --> 00:29:47.160
what we do there's always going to be those opinions

352
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:51.500
that are opposing you know well why do you do

353
00:29:51.539 --> 00:29:55.150
this why do you do that it doesn't matter at

354
00:29:55.190 --> 00:29:58.210
the end of the day the only thing that people

355
00:29:58.250 --> 00:30:01.210
like us can really do is educate people, you know,

356
00:30:01.430 --> 00:30:05.450
educate them, support them. Uh, you know, I know one

357
00:30:05.490 --> 00:30:08.569
of the ladies was telling UTG that, that they're listening now,

358
00:30:09.319 --> 00:30:13.539
you know, um, and also having, having faith and awareness

359
00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:18.359
in ourselves and not beating ourselves up. Oh, I should

360
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:21.799
have done this, or I could have done that. No,

361
00:30:22.180 --> 00:30:26.349
you were just being human, living a human life, And

362
00:30:26.430 --> 00:30:32.230
something out of your control happened, transpired, but there's something

363
00:30:32.289 --> 00:30:34.490
you can do about it. It's up to you to

364
00:30:34.549 --> 00:30:37.490
decide how far you are willing or able to go

365
00:30:37.650 --> 00:30:40.630
in doing something about it. And I think it's about

366
00:30:40.670 --> 00:30:44.130
being sensitive to what people decide to do about it.

367
00:30:46.900 --> 00:30:49.400
I know not to go into too much detail, but

368
00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:54.400
I mean, I know like my own mother, my mother

369
00:30:54.440 --> 00:30:58.099
was a great mom. But when it came to things

370
00:30:58.200 --> 00:31:02.019
like that, even before I knew, it was a cycle.

371
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:04.940
It was a cycle. It's like it happened to her.

372
00:31:05.579 --> 00:31:08.059
It happened to her mom, you know.

373
00:31:09.779 --> 00:31:10.420
So it's like.

374
00:31:12.819 --> 00:31:16.339
Sometimes people don't even want to discuss it or talk

375
00:31:16.380 --> 00:31:19.460
about it because it's like this taboo thing. And if

376
00:31:19.559 --> 00:31:25.109
they weren't heard or if they weren't helped. Then they're

377
00:31:25.140 --> 00:31:28.970
kind of. at a loss to know what do I

378
00:31:29.039 --> 00:31:32.480
do to this? And I mean, speaking as a mother,

379
00:31:33.299 --> 00:31:36.240
for me, that's, it's the worst thing that I could

380
00:31:36.500 --> 00:31:40.220
ever imagine knowing how it feels. It is the worst

381
00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:43.619
thing I could ever imagine my girls having to go through.

382
00:31:44.349 --> 00:31:46.730
So the only thing I can do as, as a

383
00:31:46.789 --> 00:31:51.490
mom was educate them. So, and I started very early

384
00:31:51.529 --> 00:31:56.990
with my girls, uh, even to the point of, their

385
00:31:57.029 --> 00:32:01.170
father was not allowed to bathe them after a certain age.

386
00:32:02.930 --> 00:32:08.299
Putting even safeguards in place as a, you know, with me,

387
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:11.400
you know. And of course, a lot of people don't

388
00:32:11.420 --> 00:32:15.440
agree with that. But we're all human beings. A manual

389
00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:18.380
doesn't come with this. You know, I taught my girls

390
00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:23.019
that like by the age of three, they were bathing themselves. If,

391
00:32:23.700 --> 00:32:27.589
you know, checks needed to be had, I made sure

392
00:32:27.630 --> 00:32:30.470
that they were comfortable. And as, as a lady, I

393
00:32:31.630 --> 00:32:35.930
did the checking and I was always constantly checking with them.

394
00:32:36.069 --> 00:32:37.690
Is this okay? Is that okay?

395
00:32:37.750 --> 00:32:43.039
Like asking them if they needed, if they had something

396
00:32:43.059 --> 00:32:46.240
that they needed me to look into for them, you know,

397
00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:51.440
you tell me what's comfortable. You tell me what's not comfortable. Um,

398
00:32:52.769 --> 00:32:56.039
But also not trying to scare them, but being pretty

399
00:32:56.339 --> 00:33:00.299
transparent and honest with them about things that could happen.

400
00:33:00.619 --> 00:33:04.160
Not that it was, because I think sometimes we do that.

401
00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:07.849
We go to the absolutes where we're just like, all

402
00:33:07.890 --> 00:33:09.890
men are like this and this is what they're going

403
00:33:09.910 --> 00:33:14.599
to do. And although that may be the majority, it

404
00:33:14.670 --> 00:33:18.460
is definitely not all. And you don't want to put

405
00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.720
them on this thing like they're always going to be

406
00:33:20.900 --> 00:33:24.339
vigilant about this person's going to do something. But at

407
00:33:24.380 --> 00:33:28.420
least educating like this is a possibility. These frat parties,

408
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:33.089
I actually did live on campus. I did attend frat parties.

409
00:33:34.490 --> 00:33:37.970
Being totally honest with them. Listen, I can't tell you

410
00:33:38.269 --> 00:33:41.930
to not drink. I can't tell you to not hook

411
00:33:42.009 --> 00:33:45.670
up with somebody. But I can tell you this, you know,

412
00:33:45.809 --> 00:33:49.119
be prepared. that this may, you know, this may happen

413
00:33:49.220 --> 00:33:51.799
or they may push a little further because you guys

414
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:56.109
are drinking, you know, be adamant, be vocal, be your

415
00:33:56.160 --> 00:33:59.450
own advocate. Make sure that as soon as something happens,

416
00:33:59.470 --> 00:34:02.190
you don't just stick around. Like you get up and

417
00:34:02.210 --> 00:34:04.730
you go, you talk to your friends, you leave.

418
00:34:04.769 --> 00:34:08.349
Or have a friend. Like we said before, don't be alone.

419
00:34:09.030 --> 00:34:11.710
That's where it needs to start. Don't be alone there.

420
00:34:11.730 --> 00:34:11.809
Yeah.

421
00:34:12.190 --> 00:34:13.570
Be with a friend.

422
00:34:14.309 --> 00:34:14.969
Yeah.

423
00:34:15.070 --> 00:34:19.789
And also educating them on, Unfortunately, I know we don't

424
00:34:19.809 --> 00:34:22.650
want to plan for that, but planning for that. If

425
00:34:22.809 --> 00:34:27.369
this happens, this is what you need to do next.

426
00:34:28.010 --> 00:34:31.250
To make sure not only that they get justice, but

427
00:34:31.289 --> 00:34:34.380
also that they feel like they're doing things appropriately. Because

428
00:34:35.110 --> 00:34:40.260
as a woman who's been in that situation, I'm sure

429
00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:45.969
a lot of women know, that feeling and the I.

430
00:34:46.699 --> 00:34:52.039
my fault, my fault, my fault. Right. We do that so.

431
00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:55.409
Much because we are the nurturers. We, we see ourselves

432
00:34:55.489 --> 00:35:01.409
and want to blame ourselves for this situation. Um, and that,

433
00:35:01.690 --> 00:35:05.530
and that's really what does a lot of damage to women. Um,

434
00:35:06.389 --> 00:35:09.730
or even to men who've been abused as children or

435
00:35:09.809 --> 00:35:14.610
by people they've trusted. Um, they tend to become very

436
00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:17.400
mistrusting and we don't want to do that to ourselves.

437
00:35:18.739 --> 00:35:21.780
We want to realize that we deserve to live a

438
00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:26.980
life just like everyone else. So definitely supporting people with

439
00:35:27.079 --> 00:35:33.139
attending therapy, supporting people with doing just, even if it's

440
00:35:33.179 --> 00:35:41.199
just for fun, like self-defense or, you know, promoting group projects,

441
00:35:41.219 --> 00:35:45.269
you know, safety, safety things, you know, because yes, we

442
00:35:45.309 --> 00:35:47.409
want people to have fun, but we want people, we

443
00:35:47.829 --> 00:35:52.730
need people to be prepared, being able to educate more

444
00:35:52.809 --> 00:35:58.929
men about what no means. And as soon as that

445
00:35:59.010 --> 00:36:04.530
word is spoken, everything needs to cease and stop. And

446
00:36:04.869 --> 00:36:09.210
possibly you need to remove yourselves from that situation that

447
00:36:09.250 --> 00:36:13.719
causes you to feel those emotions, you know, like maybe

448
00:36:13.739 --> 00:36:16.260
you really, really like somebody and some people just don't

449
00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:18.800
have control over their emotions. They get all hot and

450
00:36:18.820 --> 00:36:23.579
bothered and they can't stop. Well, you know, maybe they

451
00:36:23.619 --> 00:36:26.179
also need to be taught. Well, then you need to

452
00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:29.900
remove yourself from that situation immediately. Doesn't mean you guys

453
00:36:29.980 --> 00:36:32.739
can't hang out together, but maybe you need to invite

454
00:36:32.780 --> 00:36:35.599
some more people into that room or maybe.

455
00:36:35.420 --> 00:36:39.179
Go out into the public area. So it's not just,

456
00:36:39.739 --> 00:36:42.429
you know, about, punishing people.

457
00:36:42.510 --> 00:36:47.789
It's about educating people before it happens. Because again, unfortunately,

458
00:36:47.849 --> 00:36:53.099
we live in a time period where physical intimacy is

459
00:36:53.199 --> 00:36:58.699
more commonplace. And people are not respecting one another's boundaries

460
00:36:58.860 --> 00:37:02.739
as much as they should. And again, that's not just men,

461
00:37:02.889 --> 00:37:08.769
it's women as well. And for me, it's just about

462
00:37:09.150 --> 00:37:12.360
preventing You know, doing everything in our power, putting up

463
00:37:12.420 --> 00:37:16.679
those guardrails. And guardrails don't happen in the danger zone.

464
00:37:17.300 --> 00:37:21.800
They happen in the safety zone. So as much as people,

465
00:37:21.820 --> 00:37:26.170
you know, look at me and say, you're a prude or,

466
00:37:26.510 --> 00:37:29.550
you know, you're so serious or you need to loosen up.

467
00:37:30.230 --> 00:37:35.809
Well, for me, it's about this. Oh, I hear.

468
00:37:36.690 --> 00:37:38.769
Yeah, there's an echo. Background. Yeah.

469
00:37:40.619 --> 00:37:43.010
You know, for me, it's about, you know what? No,

470
00:37:43.070 --> 00:37:48.849
it's about that there's consequences to my choices. So people can,

471
00:37:49.369 --> 00:37:53.110
I've been through it already. So now I'm more prepared.

472
00:37:53.210 --> 00:37:57.489
Now I'm more educated, more self-aware. And also I'm putting

473
00:37:57.550 --> 00:38:01.550
up those guardrails. So, you know, if I don't get

474
00:38:01.610 --> 00:38:04.630
invited out again, that's fine with me. That's fine with

475
00:38:04.690 --> 00:38:08.190
me because my safety comes above all else. So it's like,

476
00:38:08.289 --> 00:38:10.320
you know, People don't want to hang out.

477
00:38:10.420 --> 00:38:11.719
That's totally fine.

478
00:38:11.820 --> 00:38:15.659
I'd rather not hang out with people than every time

479
00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:19.500
I go out, end up having something happen that's going

480
00:38:19.519 --> 00:38:29.130
to cause me emotional destroyals, possibly some not wanted consequences.

481
00:38:31.489 --> 00:38:33.050
We're just being so.

482
00:38:34.250 --> 00:38:42.190
Willy-nilly about our sexual health and our emotional health. Every

483
00:38:42.309 --> 00:38:46.320
time we're in those situations and we allow just the

484
00:38:46.440 --> 00:38:49.300
little things that make us uncomfortable to happen.

485
00:38:50.340 --> 00:38:52.820
We're opening doors.

486
00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:57.739
And some people just will not respect. Once the door

487
00:38:57.780 --> 00:39:01.139
has been cracked, they will not respect the crack. They

488
00:39:01.179 --> 00:39:07.090
will just push that door wide open. And I mean,

489
00:39:07.110 --> 00:39:13.840
I consider myself a pretty strong person. woman, considering my

490
00:39:13.900 --> 00:39:17.239
work background and things that training.

491
00:39:16.860 --> 00:39:19.550
That I've had to do for my job.

492
00:39:20.269 --> 00:39:25.829
And I can take some people down, but that doesn't

493
00:39:25.869 --> 00:39:27.210
mean I can take everybody down.

494
00:39:27.409 --> 00:39:28.309
And so I can't.

495
00:39:28.090 --> 00:39:32.250
Approach situations just... assuming that I've got control all the

496
00:39:32.289 --> 00:39:38.300
time because I don't. And as women, we're emotional beings.

497
00:39:39.139 --> 00:39:40.860
I know I talk on and on and on, but

498
00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:45.400
it's just such an important topic.

499
00:39:46.179 --> 00:39:46.880
It really is.

500
00:39:47.719 --> 00:39:52.619
And it's not just about shaming and belligerent people. It's

501
00:39:52.679 --> 00:39:54.460
about helping them to be prepared.

502
00:39:55.019 --> 00:39:55.590
Be prepared.

503
00:39:55.909 --> 00:40:02.409
My youngest is 19. And I actually thank God as

504
00:40:02.469 --> 00:40:05.269
far as I know, because again, we don't always share.

505
00:40:06.150 --> 00:40:11.019
She has not been in a situation that has allowed

506
00:40:12.179 --> 00:40:13.780
for a violation to happen.

507
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:17.059
But one never knows.

508
00:40:18.809 --> 00:40:19.789
But I'm always going to.

509
00:40:19.769 --> 00:40:21.030
Hope they're honest about it, you know?

510
00:40:21.230 --> 00:40:21.929
Right. Yeah.

511
00:40:21.969 --> 00:40:23.949
But you have to also and see, that's the other thing.

512
00:40:24.809 --> 00:40:27.570
We also have to make it OK to be honest.

513
00:40:28.050 --> 00:40:28.369
Right.

514
00:40:28.670 --> 00:40:33.929
So that means whether you believe them or not, you

515
00:40:33.989 --> 00:40:37.440
need to do something about it. You need to give

516
00:40:37.579 --> 00:40:43.800
them a floor to be able to express what this

517
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:46.619
has done, because what one person sees as a violation,

518
00:40:46.699 --> 00:40:52.559
another one may not. And I've always very much, and

519
00:40:52.599 --> 00:40:57.079
I've even let my ex-husband, my children's father know, I.

520
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:00.639
Don't care who you are to me.

521
00:41:01.460 --> 00:41:05.820
If any of our children come to me and say, this, this,

522
00:41:05.900 --> 00:41:10.219
and this has happened, I am going to err on

523
00:41:10.260 --> 00:41:16.329
the side of caution and believe them and then investigate.

524
00:41:17.320 --> 00:41:21.639
than to try to investigate first and believe them later. No,

525
00:41:21.679 --> 00:41:26.929
because I'm not trying to set them up for feelings

526
00:41:26.989 --> 00:41:29.090
of abandonment and betrayal.

527
00:41:29.610 --> 00:41:31.590
There's a lot of kids, a lot of kids and

528
00:41:31.610 --> 00:41:34.349
the women out there that wish that's how it was

529
00:41:35.070 --> 00:41:37.329
when they came forth with something, you know?

530
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:40.679
And unfortunately we are the only ones who can break

531
00:41:40.739 --> 00:41:45.039
those cycles. We, we can criticize people all we want,

532
00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:48.389
even with the current situations where, People are always going

533
00:41:48.409 --> 00:41:52.250
to criticize one another. For me, the only thing I

534
00:41:52.329 --> 00:41:56.599
can do is be the change that I hope other

535
00:41:56.639 --> 00:42:00.719
people want to be. So having gone through it ourselves,

536
00:42:02.340 --> 00:42:07.760
we need to be more sensitive and more supportive. You know,

537
00:42:07.800 --> 00:42:09.920
it doesn't mean we got to go ham on anybody,

538
00:42:10.019 --> 00:42:14.539
but at least give them opportunities. Tell them where they

539
00:42:14.579 --> 00:42:19.329
can go. Accompany them. where they need to go, support

540
00:42:19.389 --> 00:42:21.670
them in what we know is going to be a

541
00:42:21.789 --> 00:42:31.369
very emotionally charged situation and make sure that we're finding them.

542
00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:32.619
Ways to heal.

543
00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:35.219
Whether, you know, some.

544
00:42:35.099 --> 00:42:38.659
People don't believe in therapy, some people do some, you know,

545
00:42:39.260 --> 00:42:46.139
they're religious homes, you know, like they're pastors or, you know,

546
00:42:47.289 --> 00:42:50.050
Their faith, you know, for some people is very helpful.

547
00:42:50.659 --> 00:42:53.699
But just helping them find some type of an outlet

548
00:42:54.340 --> 00:42:57.500
to help them heal rather than, you know, the whole

549
00:42:57.579 --> 00:43:01.360
what we've always gotten, especially us in the Latin community,

550
00:43:01.780 --> 00:43:03.960
you know, suck it up buttercup and keep it moving.

551
00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:07.489
You know, like put on the happy face. No, I'm sorry.

552
00:43:07.510 --> 00:43:08.659
I won't.

553
00:43:08.889 --> 00:43:12.469
And I'm not going to make my children do that either.

554
00:43:13.190 --> 00:43:16.329
If you're not okay, it's okay to not be okay.

555
00:43:17.329 --> 00:43:20.630
But I do need you to let me know what

556
00:43:20.769 --> 00:43:23.070
I can do to help you be okay.

557
00:43:23.679 --> 00:43:23.920
Right.

558
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:27.139
You know, because unfortunately, and it's not just this, but

559
00:43:27.300 --> 00:43:31.800
things in life happen. The important thing is not to.

560
00:43:31.699 --> 00:43:34.570
Allow it to take us to a place of.

561
00:43:34.590 --> 00:43:41.369
Darkness where we feel like we have to live life differently.

562
00:43:42.400 --> 00:43:45.039
Life has its ups and downs, and it is very

563
00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:48.039
possible to come back from stuff like this and live

564
00:43:48.559 --> 00:43:54.289
wonderfully productive and happy lives. But I don't think we

565
00:43:54.329 --> 00:43:56.630
talk about that enough. We talk about the bad parts

566
00:43:56.869 --> 00:44:01.690
and not about the good parts of finding ourselves again

567
00:44:02.130 --> 00:44:06.929
or how we can utilize these horrible experiences.

568
00:44:06.639 --> 00:44:09.800
To have better lives, to.

569
00:44:10.039 --> 00:44:14.570
Make us stronger and to be advocates for others and

570
00:44:14.610 --> 00:44:19.000
for ourselves and letting it be okay to say no.

571
00:44:19.760 --> 00:44:22.780
I'm telling you, like as women, us wanting to be

572
00:44:23.239 --> 00:44:27.760
the nurturing, you know, gender that we are and wanting

573
00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:30.139
to be loved, all we want is to be loved.

574
00:44:34.630 --> 00:44:37.289
Making sure that we understand it's okay to be strong

575
00:44:37.389 --> 00:44:42.099
and it's okay if this one person is not our person,

576
00:44:42.920 --> 00:44:45.719
you know, because I can't tell you how many times,

577
00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:48.780
even as a, especially as a young woman and not

578
00:44:48.820 --> 00:44:54.269
necessarily being violated or anything, but just, I saw something today,

579
00:44:54.369 --> 00:44:57.530
actually on a feed and it was a man saying it,

580
00:44:58.250 --> 00:45:05.409
that anytime you're meeting someone, getting to know someone as

581
00:45:05.429 --> 00:45:12.840
a man, sexual innuendos or sexual comments early on are

582
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:16.329
not okay. Like you don't even know this person to

583
00:45:16.369 --> 00:45:20.090
be able to be making, you know, sexual comments to

584
00:45:20.150 --> 00:45:25.389
them because you don't know their comfort level. And like,

585
00:45:26.250 --> 00:45:29.199
is that really what you want? You know, like, is

586
00:45:29.239 --> 00:45:32.400
that all you're after? Because, you know, you don't want

587
00:45:32.420 --> 00:45:38.449
to mask your wants as you know trying to create

588
00:45:38.530 --> 00:45:41.880
something real and honest when that's not really what you

589
00:45:41.940 --> 00:45:44.820
want right you know but people don't want to be

590
00:45:44.940 --> 00:45:49.840
honest about their intentions and which is what causes these

591
00:45:49.900 --> 00:45:55.239
bad situations but just being ready being prepared making sure

592
00:45:55.320 --> 00:45:59.260
that you you're not going out alone that you are

593
00:45:59.340 --> 00:46:02.409
prepared i don't want to say with weapons but with

594
00:46:03.090 --> 00:46:05.070
some type of physical protections.

595
00:46:05.210 --> 00:46:08.969
Like a safety net of some sort for yourself.

596
00:46:08.989 --> 00:46:11.510
There's nothing wrong with a four inch knife you can

597
00:46:11.550 --> 00:46:13.869
carry in your pocket. Somebody gets funny.

598
00:46:14.590 --> 00:46:17.159
They even have like the key chains with the spike

599
00:46:17.320 --> 00:46:22.280
on it or they have the pepper spray that you

600
00:46:22.300 --> 00:46:23.230
can carry with you.

601
00:46:23.239 --> 00:46:26.880
Like I was saying about my daughter, just when she's

602
00:46:26.940 --> 00:46:33.210
going to school, right? She has a body alarm. And

603
00:46:33.289 --> 00:46:39.210
she has a keychain mace. It may not be the

604
00:46:40.610 --> 00:46:42.510
end all be all, but I tell you this, it'll

605
00:46:42.530 --> 00:46:47.739
give her enough time to get away. And I'm always

606
00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:52.260
making sure, do you have it? There's a time and

607
00:46:52.300 --> 00:46:57.280
a place, but Walking from the train, walking to the

608
00:46:57.519 --> 00:47:00.440
to the college, you know, do you have it? Do

609
00:47:00.480 --> 00:47:02.679
you have your hand on it while you're walking? Because

610
00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:05.619
it's great to have it. But what good is it

611
00:47:05.639 --> 00:47:07.309
to have it if it's in your book bag?

612
00:47:07.809 --> 00:47:08.070
Right.

613
00:47:08.130 --> 00:47:11.789
That's that's not going to be helpful. So, you know,

614
00:47:12.150 --> 00:47:14.909
she's like, no, mom, it's in my pocket. And I'm like, OK,

615
00:47:15.010 --> 00:47:17.389
do you walk down the street with one hand in

616
00:47:17.429 --> 00:47:17.949
your pocket?

617
00:47:18.349 --> 00:47:19.409
Because you should.

618
00:47:19.650 --> 00:47:22.030
Not that again, not that you should be walking around.

619
00:47:21.829 --> 00:47:24.429
Scared, but you should always be prepared to have it.

620
00:47:24.699 --> 00:47:27.940
You know, when I walk to my car, honestly, whether

621
00:47:27.980 --> 00:47:30.460
it's night or day, I walk to my car with

622
00:47:30.539 --> 00:47:35.179
my keys between my fingers. And my door is locked

623
00:47:36.039 --> 00:47:39.659
before I get to it. So that, you know, we're

624
00:47:39.679 --> 00:47:45.639
not hanging around fumbling with keys. Making sure that when

625
00:47:45.699 --> 00:47:50.190
I park, I park in well-lighted areas. Making sure people

626
00:47:50.250 --> 00:47:53.460
know my location, people that I know and trust. That

627
00:47:53.480 --> 00:47:57.880
they know my location, you know, and that I'm consistent

628
00:47:58.019 --> 00:48:02.260
with my comings and goings. So that if at some time,

629
00:48:02.820 --> 00:48:05.119
you know, even if I'm like 15, 20 minutes late,

630
00:48:05.239 --> 00:48:07.829
somebody's asking, where is she?

631
00:48:08.409 --> 00:48:08.630
Right.

632
00:48:08.869 --> 00:48:12.929
You know, so it's just as important to discuss how

633
00:48:12.989 --> 00:48:16.110
we can prepare ourselves than it is to talk about

634
00:48:16.150 --> 00:48:17.309
the after, like.

635
00:48:17.349 --> 00:48:18.489
After it happens.

636
00:48:19.250 --> 00:48:19.429
Right.

637
00:48:19.449 --> 00:48:19.530
Yeah.

638
00:48:20.659 --> 00:48:23.219
My issue more is the fact that we even have

639
00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:28.840
to be aware and this, you know, protecting ourselves in

640
00:48:28.860 --> 00:48:31.599
this way. It shouldn't be that way, but unfortunately this

641
00:48:31.679 --> 00:48:34.599
is where we've been. This is where we are new.

642
00:48:35.019 --> 00:48:35.699
Yeah.

643
00:48:35.820 --> 00:48:39.380
If you remember not too long ago, there was the

644
00:48:39.440 --> 00:48:45.519
me too movement, literally all about this. And again, it

645
00:48:46.519 --> 00:48:50.619
was just that a movement and it, No one really

646
00:48:50.739 --> 00:48:53.300
took what they needed to take from it because we

647
00:48:53.320 --> 00:48:55.800
wound up putting a grapess and pedo in the office.

648
00:48:56.280 --> 00:49:01.739
So that really tells me that we don't care enough

649
00:49:02.079 --> 00:49:05.519
about women and children at the end of the day.

650
00:49:06.039 --> 00:49:12.329
There is like money and power overpowers.

651
00:49:12.909 --> 00:49:13.070
Us.

652
00:49:13.989 --> 00:49:18.559
Unfortunately, this is the world we live in. You do

653
00:49:18.619 --> 00:49:21.900
need to be careful. that, you know, someone doesn't just

654
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:25.980
take your child for sex trafficking or, you know, like

655
00:49:26.780 --> 00:49:29.590
it's insane. Like the videos that are out there that

656
00:49:29.710 --> 00:49:34.469
are teaching parents, like, like, first of all, why would

657
00:49:34.489 --> 00:49:36.949
you go to the mall and let your daughter, your young,

658
00:49:37.690 --> 00:49:40.340
even if she's 11, go into the bathroom by herself

659
00:49:41.480 --> 00:49:45.280
without you. Like who does that? And it was a

660
00:49:45.320 --> 00:49:47.739
video like this, right? The mom's on her phone. Her

661
00:49:47.760 --> 00:49:50.539
daughter goes to the bathroom. There's a guy in the stall,

662
00:49:51.079 --> 00:49:54.800
chloroforms her, puts her in a suitcase, walks out of

663
00:49:54.820 --> 00:50:00.000
the bathroom with the suitcase. Mom has no idea. Then

664
00:50:00.019 --> 00:50:02.119
all of a sudden it's like, oh my God, asking

665
00:50:02.199 --> 00:50:05.480
for her, running around. And then he comes back and

666
00:50:05.539 --> 00:50:08.320
he's like, I could have been gone with your daughter

667
00:50:08.340 --> 00:50:12.590
right now. And they've done this before. I feel like

668
00:50:12.610 --> 00:50:17.750
there's shows that they've done this where they show children

669
00:50:17.809 --> 00:50:20.969
being taken. They do it on purpose, yeah. And what

670
00:50:21.289 --> 00:50:24.809
people around them do and stuff like that. So it's

671
00:50:25.670 --> 00:50:31.210
people just being aware of what's going on. Nobody's asking

672
00:50:31.230 --> 00:50:33.840
anyone to be a hero or anything like that. But

673
00:50:34.389 --> 00:50:40.989
paying attention and just... if you see something, but this

674
00:50:41.070 --> 00:50:44.349
is the thing, like even there were so many people

675
00:50:44.389 --> 00:50:48.570
who saw those messages and nobody stopped and said, this.

676
00:50:48.389 --> 00:50:48.789
Is not okay.

677
00:50:48.809 --> 00:50:51.860
We've made it a society where when you speak up,

678
00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:52.480
you get.

679
00:50:52.460 --> 00:50:58.420
Smacked in the face. Right. This is part of the problem. Yeah.

680
00:50:58.460 --> 00:51:01.059
Part of the problem. And when you were talking about,

681
00:51:01.840 --> 00:51:07.889
you know, family, the cycles, okay. Yeah. This cycle of

682
00:51:07.909 --> 00:51:13.159
the Hispanic woman being hurt or whatever by her man. Well,

683
00:51:13.659 --> 00:51:17.880
because we were seen as second-rate citizens. We forgive. We

684
00:51:17.900 --> 00:51:21.929
were taught to forgive and move on. That's what I learned. Yep,

685
00:51:21.969 --> 00:51:25.469
because we had to stay married or in a relationship. Right.

686
00:51:25.710 --> 00:51:27.610
The men that hurt me the way they did, I

687
00:51:27.929 --> 00:51:29.809
didn't hate them the way I should have hated them.

688
00:51:30.670 --> 00:51:35.599
Because I was taught, oh, it was a mistake, whatever.

689
00:51:36.690 --> 00:51:40.289
You know, just forget it by our parents insecurities of

690
00:51:40.369 --> 00:51:41.130
being alone.

691
00:51:41.789 --> 00:51:43.690
Yes.

692
00:51:43.690 --> 00:51:44.710
100%.

693
00:51:44.710 --> 00:51:49.570
100%. Because think of that time. That was not a thing,

694
00:51:49.590 --> 00:51:51.510
you know, I'm yeah.

695
00:51:51.530 --> 00:51:54.650
Because women weren't working, they were stay at home and

696
00:51:54.670 --> 00:51:57.550
they had nobody else to depend on, but their partner.

697
00:51:58.030 --> 00:52:03.409
So it's like, it's not, I remember with my grandmother, um,

698
00:52:04.050 --> 00:52:04.940
and we.

699
00:52:04.900 --> 00:52:07.679
Never talked much about it, but it was like, I

700
00:52:07.780 --> 00:52:08.679
do believe you.

701
00:52:09.579 --> 00:52:14.230
The issue is there's nothing I can do because if

702
00:52:14.409 --> 00:52:19.150
I leave, we have nowhere to go and I have

703
00:52:19.210 --> 00:52:22.750
no way to support you. So I just have to

704
00:52:22.789 --> 00:52:26.219
be more vigilant and take better care of you because

705
00:52:26.739 --> 00:52:30.440
this is our situation. And, you know, your father takes

706
00:52:30.500 --> 00:52:34.159
care of us and I can't leave him. I can't

707
00:52:34.199 --> 00:52:37.289
put him in jail. because if something happens to him,

708
00:52:37.389 --> 00:52:40.760
then we'll be homeless. And yeah, like, and, and, and that.

709
00:52:40.679 --> 00:52:42.599
Is so, so very unfortunate.

710
00:52:42.900 --> 00:52:43.199
Yeah.

711
00:52:43.639 --> 00:52:43.860
Yeah.

712
00:52:44.480 --> 00:52:48.239
But now that we are more empowered as women and

713
00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:50.199
I'm sorry, and I know a lot of women are

714
00:52:50.219 --> 00:52:53.239
going to have something to say about it, but I'm sorry.

715
00:52:54.099 --> 00:52:57.429
If you, even though no means no and nobody has

716
00:52:57.469 --> 00:53:00.329
a right to violate that, I'm sorry. But if the

717
00:53:00.389 --> 00:53:07.690
goods are not for sale, you shouldn't have them on display. Like, Yes,

718
00:53:07.809 --> 00:53:12.019
it's nice to look nice. And yes, nobody should have

719
00:53:12.059 --> 00:53:15.119
to tell you how to dress. But we as women

720
00:53:15.179 --> 00:53:19.920
have to understand that if we are exposing something, we

721
00:53:21.360 --> 00:53:24.929
have to expect that someone is going to try to

722
00:53:25.050 --> 00:53:25.510
take it.

723
00:53:25.590 --> 00:53:30.570
Right. But that's the fucking problem that's feeding into this problem.

724
00:53:30.909 --> 00:53:33.369
Because the issue is she should be able to wear

725
00:53:33.389 --> 00:53:35.010
whatever the fuck she wants. What she wants.

726
00:53:35.170 --> 00:53:35.429
Yes.

727
00:53:35.570 --> 00:53:39.949
And perhaps, look, Even if I would go out, I

728
00:53:39.969 --> 00:53:43.550
would have cleavage. I'm not taking my shirt off. I

729
00:53:43.570 --> 00:53:48.849
would have cleavage and stuff purposely because that's my asset. Okay.

730
00:53:48.869 --> 00:53:52.989
I want you to look, but that didn't mean either

731
00:53:53.030 --> 00:53:56.389
that because my titties are out and you're looking at them,

732
00:53:56.849 --> 00:53:59.750
that that means that I'm inviting you to touch them.

733
00:54:00.409 --> 00:54:04.840
I'm inviting you to grope me. No, if I'm inviting

734
00:54:04.900 --> 00:54:08.599
you for something, you will know I'm inviting you. I'm

735
00:54:08.659 --> 00:54:13.900
going to tell you. You will see it. But me

736
00:54:13.960 --> 00:54:18.400
wearing a low top does not mean that I'm asking

737
00:54:18.480 --> 00:54:22.170
for something or that I'm hoping you look at me

738
00:54:22.309 --> 00:54:26.809
and do this. The reality is that men should stop

739
00:54:26.929 --> 00:54:33.780
looking at us in this way. And what's scary is,

740
00:54:33.809 --> 00:54:41.090
and I hate seeing the comments, but like 16, 17

741
00:54:41.090 --> 00:54:46.739
year olds, there are grown ass men talking about their bodies.

742
00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:53.579
That's disgusting. They're children. Like, and the fact that they

743
00:54:53.619 --> 00:54:58.389
think it's okay to do that is the problem. You

744
00:54:58.409 --> 00:55:00.610
should not be looking at a child. I don't, I

745
00:55:00.650 --> 00:55:04.199
get it. Some kids look older, but that's a kid.

746
00:55:04.219 --> 00:55:06.920
At the end of the day, that is a kid.

747
00:55:09.079 --> 00:55:13.260
And that's what makes me sick. This is what bothers me.

748
00:55:13.800 --> 00:55:16.789
We should be allowed to have body autonomy. We should

749
00:55:16.809 --> 00:55:20.070
be allowed to have, to be able to wear what

750
00:55:20.170 --> 00:55:27.239
we want and not be looked at like that's an invitation.

751
00:55:28.900 --> 00:55:32.400
like just how we're still talking about consent. We're talking

752
00:55:32.460 --> 00:55:37.019
about that too. That's part of consent. Like I'm not

753
00:55:37.059 --> 00:55:42.840
just automatically giving an invitation for anyone unless I'm saying that,

754
00:55:42.969 --> 00:55:45.190
unless I'm a fucking prostitute on the corner and that's

755
00:55:45.230 --> 00:55:49.389
what I'm doing. I'm a sex worker and that's what

756
00:55:49.429 --> 00:55:54.960
I'm doing. That's different. But I never like, in my experience,

757
00:55:55.159 --> 00:55:56.119
I've seen things.

758
00:55:56.300 --> 00:55:56.539
Yes.

759
00:55:56.860 --> 00:56:03.699
I don't agree that young girls, teenagers should be wearing very,

760
00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:05.820
very short things and stuff like there's a time for

761
00:56:05.860 --> 00:56:10.539
them later. They need to be young, you know, but

762
00:56:10.619 --> 00:56:15.079
they don't think so. Because if you remember being 16

763
00:56:15.079 --> 00:56:18.219
years old, Oh yeah. You like, Ooh, like, you know,

764
00:56:18.239 --> 00:56:26.429
so it's, I just think that in the ways that

765
00:56:26.449 --> 00:56:28.889
we need to educate, that's what we need to educate

766
00:56:28.949 --> 00:56:29.429
as well.

767
00:56:30.190 --> 00:56:33.550
But we also need to understand that there are consequences

768
00:56:33.639 --> 00:56:34.639
for our decisions.

769
00:56:36.780 --> 00:56:39.880
Like what? I mean, I don't think it's fair to,

770
00:56:40.860 --> 00:56:44.559
because I went to a frat party and was drinking,

771
00:56:44.980 --> 00:56:48.340
that someone put something in my drink, that that's something

772
00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:51.760
I should have expected and then get taken advantage of.

773
00:56:52.280 --> 00:56:53.360
No, definitely not.

774
00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:57.880
This is what I'm saying. Like you can't always prepare

775
00:56:58.820 --> 00:57:03.440
because like the fact that people have come out with

776
00:57:03.519 --> 00:57:07.119
nail polish that changes color to see if your drink

777
00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:11.539
has been spiked or covers for your drinks. So your

778
00:57:11.599 --> 00:57:16.380
drinks won't get spikes. Like to me, that's sick. Like

779
00:57:16.460 --> 00:57:19.860
the fact that Like when I went out, I can

780
00:57:19.909 --> 00:57:22.929
honestly say it was not that bad. It was not

781
00:57:23.010 --> 00:57:29.170
like that. But now it's different. It's very different. And

782
00:57:29.329 --> 00:57:33.610
this is the problem. It's the culture around this. It's

783
00:57:33.670 --> 00:57:38.269
the fact that there isn't enough accountability, that it is

784
00:57:38.389 --> 00:57:43.380
giving the message that this is okay. We literally are

785
00:57:43.429 --> 00:57:48.030
giving a message by having people empower us who are

786
00:57:48.130 --> 00:57:54.389
rapists and pedos. And we are okay with it. I mean,

787
00:57:54.429 --> 00:57:56.510
we're not okay with it, but there are people who

788
00:57:56.570 --> 00:57:59.510
are just okay with that. That is what I'm talking about.

789
00:57:59.570 --> 00:58:08.619
This culture of all of this, like how, but educate

790
00:58:08.739 --> 00:58:13.219
what and to who and where. I mean, it starts

791
00:58:13.239 --> 00:58:16.659
with your kids. I think the only control parents have

792
00:58:17.230 --> 00:58:21.289
is what they can teach their children and prepare them

793
00:58:21.329 --> 00:58:25.590
the way you prepared your daughters. I feel like that

794
00:58:26.349 --> 00:58:30.090
has to be something that we continue to do regardless

795
00:58:31.349 --> 00:58:40.179
for both and boys, especially because things happen to boys

796
00:58:41.519 --> 00:58:46.360
and because it's a boy, there's a lot more shame

797
00:58:46.519 --> 00:58:50.340
and and secretness with that and keeping it.

798
00:58:50.780 --> 00:58:51.739
Let me tell you a story.

799
00:58:52.559 --> 00:58:52.960
Sure.

800
00:58:54.860 --> 00:58:58.090
So when I was growing up, there was this kid

801
00:58:59.590 --> 00:59:04.110
who was, um, about maybe a year. No, you were

802
00:59:04.150 --> 00:59:05.750
the same age. I don't even know, but whatever. We

803
00:59:05.769 --> 00:59:06.949
were in the fifth grade together.

804
00:59:06.989 --> 00:59:07.199
Right.

805
00:59:09.559 --> 00:59:13.960
And he, one day he says to me, oh, I'm

806
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:17.980
going to shoot up to the comic book store and

807
00:59:18.579 --> 00:59:22.440
the guy, the owner of the store, Vinny, he'll give

808
00:59:22.480 --> 00:59:28.489
you comic books if you clean up his store. So

809
00:59:28.530 --> 00:59:31.019
I was like, oh, that's funny. I was really big

810
00:59:31.059 --> 00:59:33.380
into comic books, so I was like, hey, fuck that,

811
00:59:33.420 --> 00:59:38.789
you know? So I go up there with him one day,

812
00:59:40.630 --> 00:59:45.190
and I got there, and there was something really funny

813
00:59:45.230 --> 00:59:52.010
about it, because he kind of shunned me, like, nah,

814
00:59:52.309 --> 00:59:57.460
I just do this with him. So I was like, okay,

815
00:59:57.480 --> 00:59:59.099
but he gave me three comic books and sent me

816
00:59:59.159 --> 01:00:05.920
on my way. I started to notice that he wasn't

817
01:00:06.019 --> 01:00:10.820
coming to school every day. All right? So just listen.

818
01:00:10.949 --> 01:00:13.409
He wasn't coming to school every day. When I would

819
01:00:13.489 --> 01:00:18.170
see him, why weren't you in class? Oh, I was, look,

820
01:00:18.190 --> 01:00:20.670
I got more comic books. I was cleaning up the

821
01:00:20.730 --> 01:00:26.090
shop for Vinny. I was like, oh, all right. School

822
01:00:26.130 --> 01:00:29.159
year went on. School year went on. He's missing days.

823
01:00:29.199 --> 01:00:31.469
He'll come in a day or two. missed two or

824
01:00:31.510 --> 01:00:40.119
three days, whatever. So one day, he goes to the

825
01:00:40.159 --> 01:00:42.900
comic book store. This is from what he told me

826
01:00:43.400 --> 01:00:46.760
after the fact. He goes to the comic book store

827
01:00:48.440 --> 01:00:52.440
and he told me this as an adult. He was

828
01:00:52.460 --> 01:00:55.460
an adult because he had gotten left back that year

829
01:00:55.500 --> 01:00:56.199
for days out.

830
01:00:56.960 --> 01:00:57.260
Right.

831
01:00:58.800 --> 01:01:02.409
So at that time, Back in them days, there weren't

832
01:01:02.449 --> 01:01:06.150
truant officers roaming the streets for kids. You know what

833
01:01:06.170 --> 01:01:10.739
I'm saying? They didn't really give a shit. So he

834
01:01:10.800 --> 01:01:13.000
said to me that, listen, I'm going to tell you something.

835
01:01:14.280 --> 01:01:17.039
You're my boy. I trust you. You know, whatever. So

836
01:01:17.079 --> 01:01:18.360
I was like, you can tell me whatever. You know,

837
01:01:18.380 --> 01:01:21.929
it don't matter. Said to me that he went up

838
01:01:21.969 --> 01:01:26.849
to the comic book store. Vinny says to him, listen.

839
01:01:28.840 --> 01:01:33.110
I got these back issue comic books downstairs. If you

840
01:01:33.150 --> 01:01:35.989
put them in order for me and clean up the basement,

841
01:01:36.329 --> 01:01:40.869
you can take any box of back issues that you want.

842
01:01:42.739 --> 01:01:44.699
So he was like, really? He was excited. And she

843
01:01:44.719 --> 01:01:47.820
was like, yeah. He cleaned up the shop. He cleaned

844
01:01:47.920 --> 01:01:51.719
up the basement, put everything in order, calls Vinny downstairs

845
01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:56.269
to show him, right? He was like, look, I did

846
01:01:56.309 --> 01:01:58.010
a great job. He said, oh, you did a great job.

847
01:01:58.960 --> 01:02:01.940
Everything was all right. He turned around to go get

848
01:02:01.960 --> 01:02:08.230
the box that he wanted. Lights out. Okay. He wakes up.

849
01:02:10.090 --> 01:02:12.449
And he said that there was shit happening to him

850
01:02:13.710 --> 01:02:18.050
that should not be happening to a 12-year-old boy. Okay.

851
01:02:19.730 --> 01:02:25.329
He said after, because he just laid there limp because

852
01:02:25.369 --> 01:02:29.849
he didn't know what to do. So shit was happening

853
01:02:29.909 --> 01:02:34.429
to him. So he said when everything was done and

854
01:02:34.469 --> 01:02:40.469
he stopped, he picked him up, literally brushed him off,

855
01:02:41.739 --> 01:02:44.500
put his clothes back on him and said, you can

856
01:02:44.519 --> 01:02:44.960
leave now.

857
01:02:46.139 --> 01:02:46.639
Wow.

858
01:02:47.639 --> 01:02:51.920
So listen, the kid goes home. All right. He goes

859
01:02:51.960 --> 01:02:57.400
home and his mother's home. She's like, oh, mom's home.

860
01:02:59.110 --> 01:03:04.570
He goes upstairs and says to his mother, Ma, you

861
01:03:04.610 --> 01:03:07.809
got to help me. She looked at him, and she

862
01:03:08.010 --> 01:03:12.409
smacked him in the face. And she said, you're getting

863
01:03:12.469 --> 01:03:15.440
left back. You have so many days out of school.

864
01:03:16.179 --> 01:03:19.380
Where do you go? What are you doing? Why haven't

865
01:03:19.400 --> 01:03:22.920
you been in school? You're getting left back. Oh, Mom,

866
01:03:23.900 --> 01:03:26.869
this is what happened. This is what's going on. This

867
01:03:26.889 --> 01:03:29.460
is what happened. She beats the shit out of him

868
01:03:29.480 --> 01:03:32.940
even more because she's thinking, this motherfucker's lying to me

869
01:03:32.960 --> 01:03:34.320
just to get out of the fact that he's going

870
01:03:34.340 --> 01:03:37.699
to get left back because he has so many days out, right?

871
01:03:39.059 --> 01:03:41.659
But he said, look at me. He was beat up.

872
01:03:42.510 --> 01:03:45.269
The kid was a fighter. He was always getting into fights,

873
01:03:45.369 --> 01:03:48.130
always getting jumped, jumping people, doing all kinds of crazy shit.

874
01:03:50.050 --> 01:03:56.510
And his mom assumed that that's what happened, that he

875
01:03:56.530 --> 01:04:01.889
got beat up and shit like that, right? So he

876
01:04:01.909 --> 01:04:04.550
said the worst, that wasn't even the worst part. The

877
01:04:04.590 --> 01:04:10.489
worst part was the stepfather comes home. Stepfather comes home.

878
01:04:10.809 --> 01:04:14.780
They call me from school. What the fuck is going on?

879
01:04:14.800 --> 01:04:18.380
Where do you go? Goes to explain it to his stepdad.

880
01:04:19.760 --> 01:04:22.820
Out comes a weightlifting belt, not even a fucking belt, bro,

881
01:04:22.880 --> 01:04:27.219
or a chancla, a weightlifting belt. Beats him up, right?

882
01:04:29.570 --> 01:04:31.659
So his mother says, you know what we're going to do?

883
01:04:31.679 --> 01:04:38.239
We're going to call your cousin. His cousin is a

884
01:04:38.280 --> 01:04:44.610
cop in town. So they call the cousin, right? Before

885
01:04:44.989 --> 01:04:48.489
he gets to talk to his cousin, his mother is

886
01:04:48.530 --> 01:04:52.869
already yelling at his cousin, telling him what happened with

887
01:04:52.929 --> 01:04:56.869
school before he got to get on the phone. So

888
01:04:56.889 --> 01:04:59.389
what do you think happened? He gets on the phone

889
01:04:59.409 --> 01:05:02.369
and says, listen, this is what happened. The first thing

890
01:05:02.389 --> 01:05:05.329
that comes out of his cousin's mouth. Where have you been?

891
01:05:05.409 --> 01:05:08.309
What have you been doing? What have you been? Wow.

892
01:05:08.769 --> 01:05:12.429
You know, he's a he's a fucking cop. And he's like,

893
01:05:12.929 --> 01:05:14.769
he goes, yeah, but this is what happened. He said

894
01:05:14.809 --> 01:05:17.190
to him, I'll look into it, but it's going to

895
01:05:17.210 --> 01:05:20.750
be what he says against what you say. And you've

896
01:05:20.789 --> 01:05:28.219
been what the hell's going on. Fine. So. Nobody believed him.

897
01:05:29.820 --> 01:05:34.900
He lived with that. Now, when he turned 15, 16

898
01:05:34.900 --> 01:05:39.340
years old, he goes back to the comic book store.

899
01:05:41.219 --> 01:05:42.659
But this time he has a gun with him.

900
01:05:43.820 --> 01:05:44.530
Oh, my God.

901
01:05:45.329 --> 01:05:49.670
He goes into the comic book store. He's wandering around.

902
01:05:51.369 --> 01:05:54.030
And the guy's looking at him kind of like, hmm,

903
01:05:54.889 --> 01:05:56.789
you know what I'm saying? Like, this dude looks familiar. Yeah.

904
01:05:58.710 --> 01:06:00.730
And he says, oh, you have a nice shop here.

905
01:06:00.750 --> 01:06:03.789
How long you been here? He was like, oh, I've

906
01:06:03.809 --> 01:06:06.889
been here, you know, for years. He goes, do you

907
01:06:06.929 --> 01:06:10.329
have any back issues? He goes, yeah, I keep them

908
01:06:10.349 --> 01:06:12.590
in the basement and I bring them up as needed.

909
01:06:13.429 --> 01:06:16.090
He was like, oh, I'm looking for some back issues.

910
01:06:17.309 --> 01:06:21.809
So when the dude went to walk off, he told

911
01:06:21.849 --> 01:06:25.349
me he went to grab the gun, right? He pulled

912
01:06:25.389 --> 01:06:28.550
the gun out. And as soon as he went like

913
01:06:28.610 --> 01:06:33.000
this to point it, a little boy walks in the store.

914
01:06:35.559 --> 01:06:38.159
Little boy walks in the store. His mother comes right

915
01:06:38.199 --> 01:06:43.480
behind him. He puts the gun back. He said at

916
01:06:43.539 --> 01:06:49.280
that moment he realized that killing him wasn't going to

917
01:06:50.440 --> 01:06:54.059
take away his pain. And he didn't want to live

918
01:06:54.219 --> 01:06:56.840
his life in jail because that's what would have happened, right?

919
01:06:59.110 --> 01:07:01.840
But for years, I knew the dude was very close

920
01:07:01.860 --> 01:07:05.500
to me. I knew him. He suffered and he struggled

921
01:07:05.559 --> 01:07:06.880
for years with this, man.

922
01:07:06.900 --> 01:07:08.179
Of course.

923
01:07:09.059 --> 01:07:15.280
Nightmares, cold sweats, not being able to trust, not being

924
01:07:15.389 --> 01:07:19.230
able to sleep, not being able to do anything, you know?

925
01:07:21.030 --> 01:07:25.949
So years go by. I saw him. Last time I

926
01:07:26.010 --> 01:07:30.530
saw him before he passed away, he was telling me

927
01:07:30.590 --> 01:07:35.170
that the guy that did that to him, he knows

928
01:07:35.210 --> 01:07:41.170
where he is and he's working with families now for

929
01:07:41.269 --> 01:07:45.590
some part of the government of the state that he

930
01:07:45.650 --> 01:07:47.809
has to work with kids and their parents.

931
01:07:49.429 --> 01:07:50.050
Jesus.

932
01:07:50.949 --> 01:07:58.610
And he said that he sent a letter He emailed

933
01:07:58.630 --> 01:08:02.130
the place, but he doesn't know whatever happened, if anything

934
01:08:02.170 --> 01:08:05.090
ever happened or whatever. But the dude struggled for years.

935
01:08:05.610 --> 01:08:10.239
He went to his grave struggling. You know, he became

936
01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:12.840
an alcoholic. You know what I'm saying? He did all

937
01:08:12.900 --> 01:08:15.920
types of shit. So the point I'm trying to get

938
01:08:16.020 --> 01:08:20.060
is that grooming is a big part.

939
01:08:20.079 --> 01:08:21.239
Oh, yeah.

940
01:08:21.720 --> 01:08:24.840
Of the shit that's going on these days. Because when

941
01:08:24.899 --> 01:08:28.310
you could pinpoint a kid, You know what I'm saying?

942
01:08:28.590 --> 01:08:32.909
Mark a kid and start slowly, you know what I'm saying,

943
01:08:33.020 --> 01:08:36.720
gaining the trust of these kids. You know what I'm saying?

944
01:08:36.760 --> 01:08:39.859
That shit's real. That shit happens.

945
01:08:40.539 --> 01:08:42.020
Yeah, that's what they do.

946
01:08:43.060 --> 01:08:48.520
And when you have to sit there and then get

947
01:08:48.560 --> 01:08:53.329
told as you're an adult that he groomed you, this

948
01:08:53.390 --> 01:08:55.649
wasn't your fault. He set you the fuck up.

949
01:08:56.619 --> 01:09:00.659
But everybody's looking for the stranger. Most of the abuse

950
01:09:00.720 --> 01:09:03.979
cases are not strangers. They're people that you know.

951
01:09:04.939 --> 01:09:05.180
Yeah.

952
01:09:07.220 --> 01:09:13.199
I mean, technically he wasn't a stranger because he had

953
01:09:13.239 --> 01:09:18.819
a relationship. He basically got him in knowing he liked

954
01:09:19.420 --> 01:09:23.779
comic books as his way to keep him and having

955
01:09:23.859 --> 01:09:26.819
him around the shop so that he could do that

956
01:09:27.359 --> 01:09:34.039
eventually so he wasn't really a stranger but like that's

957
01:09:34.100 --> 01:09:38.800
the thing predators groom there are predators that groom.

958
01:09:38.899 --> 01:09:41.439
We definitely need to talk to more people about what

959
01:09:41.479 --> 01:09:42.260
grooming looks.

960
01:09:42.119 --> 01:09:47.289
Like you know I mean this is the thing though

961
01:09:47.390 --> 01:09:54.100
people don't want to believe so I can bring out

962
01:09:54.300 --> 01:09:56.500
a great example that a lot of people get upset

963
01:09:56.560 --> 01:10:02.159
about but Michael Jackson is one of those people unfortunately

964
01:10:02.180 --> 01:10:08.439
who groomed and he groomed the whole families not just

965
01:10:08.479 --> 01:10:14.170
the kids when you when a predator like gets you

966
01:10:14.229 --> 01:10:19.689
to trust them that's That right there is what grooming is.

967
01:10:19.930 --> 01:10:26.949
It's earning your trust enough so that when the time comes,

968
01:10:29.810 --> 01:10:32.329
they can try to convince you, especially depending how young

969
01:10:32.369 --> 01:10:38.279
you are, that what they're doing is okay because they

970
01:10:38.319 --> 01:10:42.079
love you. And you have to understand something too. A

971
01:10:42.140 --> 01:10:48.050
lot of pedophiles, like they do things They see it

972
01:10:48.170 --> 01:10:52.750
as love. A pedophile sees what they're doing with children

973
01:10:52.890 --> 01:10:57.739
as love. The way that they want to say that

974
01:10:57.819 --> 01:11:00.500
people are gay or whatever, that they're born this way.

975
01:11:00.520 --> 01:11:03.760
I don't know if you've heard about this, but there's

976
01:11:03.779 --> 01:11:08.039
this whole thing about this. And pedophilia has been around

977
01:11:08.079 --> 01:11:14.699
for centuries. And that's another thing, I think, too, that

978
01:11:14.739 --> 01:11:21.949
goes right along with this subject. Because molestation, abuse, all

979
01:11:21.989 --> 01:11:30.350
those things. Grooming. That's dedication. That's somebody who wants something.

980
01:11:31.729 --> 01:11:37.810
It's hard to see that when you are, you know,

981
01:11:38.069 --> 01:11:42.180
you're getting attention that you're not getting from home. He

982
01:11:42.239 --> 01:11:45.899
probably made him feel safe where obviously he wasn't safe

983
01:11:45.939 --> 01:11:50.149
at home. He went to his parents. The people that

984
01:11:50.189 --> 01:11:53.520
were supposed to keep him safe. And tried to tell

985
01:11:53.560 --> 01:11:59.420
them the truth. And they. Blamed him. And they didn't listen.

986
01:11:59.439 --> 01:12:02.180
To what this boy was saying.

987
01:12:02.680 --> 01:12:04.100
Oh you also got a fucking being.

988
01:12:05.350 --> 01:12:09.229
And beat on top of that. As though that's a solution.

989
01:12:09.390 --> 01:12:12.729
Even for getting left back from school. Never mind. But like.

990
01:12:13.649 --> 01:12:19.649
That's what I'm saying like. Unfortunately, same situation with myself.

991
01:12:19.739 --> 01:12:22.550
Like your parent is the one you're supposed to trust.

992
01:12:23.130 --> 01:12:25.729
The one you trust the most. You're like, this person

993
01:12:26.270 --> 01:12:30.430
loves me unconditionally. They would never let anything happen to me, right?

994
01:12:31.750 --> 01:12:34.800
And then some shit happens and then your parent doesn't.

995
01:12:34.810 --> 01:12:40.439
That fucks you up because now you can't even trust

996
01:12:41.239 --> 01:12:43.939
the person that's supposed to have your back no matter

997
01:12:44.000 --> 01:12:51.239
what from the get. From the get. That's the one

998
01:12:51.279 --> 01:12:54.119
that's supposed to have my back. The one that tells

999
01:12:54.180 --> 01:13:00.689
me they love me. Right? And then your actions are otherwise.

1000
01:13:01.439 --> 01:13:05.649
I had to grow up at eight years old. I

1001
01:13:05.689 --> 01:13:08.789
had to be my own parent. I wound up being

1002
01:13:08.850 --> 01:13:14.609
my brother's parent. I didn't deserve that. You know? No

1003
01:13:14.729 --> 01:13:21.220
kid deserves that. But unfortunately, that was the family I

1004
01:13:21.260 --> 01:13:25.010
was born into. This is what happened. It was repeated

1005
01:13:25.149 --> 01:13:30.930
cycles of abuse, leading probably from my great-grandmother, my grandmother,

1006
01:13:30.989 --> 01:13:33.829
to my mother. I am the first... This is something

1007
01:13:33.869 --> 01:13:37.470
I was thinking about. I'm the first woman in the

1008
01:13:37.510 --> 01:13:45.279
generations of my mother and the maternal side that has...

1009
01:13:45.770 --> 01:13:50.020
graduated from college, has, I guess you could say, a

1010
01:13:50.069 --> 01:13:55.500
career of sorts, has done something, has lived on her

1011
01:13:55.800 --> 01:14:02.739
own for a very long time, and now has made

1012
01:14:02.770 --> 01:14:10.930
it on her own from being homeless to now having things,

1013
01:14:11.930 --> 01:14:17.899
being okay, I'm the first woman to do that in

1014
01:14:17.960 --> 01:14:24.010
my family. And that takes me back because it's like,

1015
01:14:24.779 --> 01:14:29.590
that's sad. You know, to me, that's sad that I

1016
01:14:29.630 --> 01:14:32.970
was the first. I was the first to break the cycles.

1017
01:14:33.310 --> 01:14:36.909
I was the first to try to do things differently

1018
01:14:38.189 --> 01:14:43.409
and make choices for myself because they didn't. I know

1019
01:14:43.430 --> 01:14:49.569
that I'm fortunate to have been born when I was

1020
01:14:50.189 --> 01:14:53.729
in our generation because I definitely would not have had

1021
01:14:54.479 --> 01:14:58.880
what I have now. I think, you know, like obviously

1022
01:14:59.239 --> 01:15:02.239
life right now is very difficult for everyone to live

1023
01:15:03.220 --> 01:15:09.630
just expenses alone. But aside from those things, like, I

1024
01:15:09.659 --> 01:15:12.170
don't know. I feel like sometimes, and I feel like

1025
01:15:12.270 --> 01:15:16.409
Lady G hit this before, like we don't, really focus

1026
01:15:17.550 --> 01:15:22.720
on our accomplishments, on the things that we've actually done

1027
01:15:23.340 --> 01:15:31.039
considering our past, considering the shit we've been through. Your friend, right?

1028
01:15:31.420 --> 01:15:36.609
He went through some shit and maybe he didn't have

1029
01:15:36.649 --> 01:15:39.130
the support that we may have had later in life

1030
01:15:39.189 --> 01:15:43.189
or at some point in our lives because I'm grateful

1031
01:15:43.430 --> 01:15:47.470
that I had a grandmother and And I had that.

1032
01:15:48.329 --> 01:15:52.720
I had a mom. She was my mom. And she

1033
01:15:52.840 --> 01:15:55.960
showed me what unconditional love was. I'm grateful for that

1034
01:15:56.000 --> 01:15:59.399
because I don't think I'd be who I am if

1035
01:15:59.479 --> 01:16:04.500
I didn't have that love that I needed. Because I

1036
01:16:04.539 --> 01:16:08.819
wasn't getting it at home. And thankfully, I didn't have

1037
01:16:08.859 --> 01:16:13.420
to look for it elsewhere. It was family. It was

1038
01:16:13.460 --> 01:16:19.100
still family. However, The family was all fucked up and dysfunctional,

1039
01:16:20.939 --> 01:16:24.079
but it's what I knew. It's what I grew in,

1040
01:16:24.539 --> 01:16:31.460
grew up in, you know, and as adults, we need

1041
01:16:31.500 --> 01:16:35.550
to grow as people. We need to learn from the

1042
01:16:35.590 --> 01:16:41.670
mistakes of our parents and our own mistakes to do

1043
01:16:41.810 --> 01:16:47.560
better for ourselves, our children, our children's children. I mean,

1044
01:16:47.600 --> 01:16:51.880
you guys have, you'll have lineages. I'll have cats. But

1045
01:16:52.359 --> 01:17:03.359
the thing is, like, you have done things differently than

1046
01:17:03.460 --> 01:17:08.239
what you were taught and know. Because you also knew

1047
01:17:08.279 --> 01:17:12.810
what that felt like. You don't, why would you want

1048
01:17:12.850 --> 01:17:16.680
your child to have you know, feel that way, live

1049
01:17:16.739 --> 01:17:21.619
that way or whatever. I think all parents want better, right?

1050
01:17:22.279 --> 01:17:24.579
But it also comes down to what can they give?

1051
01:17:24.600 --> 01:17:30.210
Because not everyone can give. You know, not every parent

1052
01:17:31.350 --> 01:17:33.750
is a good parent. Maybe some people weren't meant to

1053
01:17:33.789 --> 01:17:38.630
be parents, but they are. And my whole thing is, though,

1054
01:17:38.710 --> 01:17:42.640
if you're going to do that, then be better. I mean,

1055
01:17:42.760 --> 01:17:49.609
at least for your kid. But yeah, I went to

1056
01:17:49.649 --> 01:17:54.710
something else, but still the point is, is that we,

1057
01:17:57.069 --> 01:18:03.189
we learn from what we see growing up. And for

1058
01:18:03.210 --> 01:18:09.109
a lot of us growing up in dysfunction, you know,

1059
01:18:09.409 --> 01:18:12.810
we thought that was the norm. And then when you

1060
01:18:12.850 --> 01:18:15.779
got older and you met friends, And you went to

1061
01:18:15.840 --> 01:18:19.760
their houses and you're like, holy shit. Is that what

1062
01:18:19.800 --> 01:18:23.399
a family is supposed to be like? Like, holy shit,

1063
01:18:23.420 --> 01:18:26.720
because my family don't look like this. My family don't

1064
01:18:26.760 --> 01:18:29.420
do this. We don't sit down like this. We don't,

1065
01:18:29.479 --> 01:18:35.479
you know, like that's how I learned what it should be.

1066
01:18:36.420 --> 01:18:41.350
Because I saw what my friends had and their parents

1067
01:18:41.590 --> 01:18:45.479
and how they were with them. And that's how I knew,

1068
01:18:45.520 --> 01:18:47.960
I got the shit on the stick of this one.

1069
01:18:48.420 --> 01:18:53.699
Like you know. You can't help what you're born into.

1070
01:18:53.800 --> 01:18:56.930
It literally is a lottery. It is what it is.

1071
01:18:56.989 --> 01:18:58.649
You wind up with who you wind up with.

1072
01:18:59.770 --> 01:19:00.010
But.

1073
01:19:01.770 --> 01:19:05.550
Like we said before. What do you do. To grow

1074
01:19:05.609 --> 01:19:10.760
from this. For me it was therapy. Therapy. it's support

1075
01:19:11.680 --> 01:19:14.819
and support can sometimes just look like having a good friend,

1076
01:19:15.880 --> 01:19:19.279
like big C that I can text and talk to

1077
01:19:19.420 --> 01:19:23.319
whenever I need to. It could be, you know, anything

1078
01:19:23.439 --> 01:19:32.279
like even sometimes the messages, like just chatting is so help.

1079
01:19:32.439 --> 01:19:36.010
It's helpful because you remember, yeah, that's my boy. That's

1080
01:19:36.029 --> 01:19:38.310
my friend. He got me, you know, at the end

1081
01:19:38.329 --> 01:19:42.180
of the day, sometimes, We need that. We need to

1082
01:19:42.239 --> 01:19:48.039
be reminded we got people. Because it's easy to feel alone,

1083
01:19:48.300 --> 01:19:52.369
especially when you are dealing with all these emotions and

1084
01:19:52.470 --> 01:19:55.489
all these things, the pain and the hurt that others

1085
01:19:55.569 --> 01:19:58.670
have caused you. The ones that were supposed to love

1086
01:19:58.710 --> 01:20:03.420
you hurt you. So you have to kind of like

1087
01:20:04.640 --> 01:20:08.000
work through that. I don't think it's just something that

1088
01:20:08.119 --> 01:20:11.279
naturally happens where you're like, oh, this makes sense. No.

1089
01:20:11.460 --> 01:20:16.109
Like for me, it took work. It took perspective. It

1090
01:20:16.149 --> 01:20:23.229
took understanding like a mother's perspective or seeing other mothers

1091
01:20:23.470 --> 01:20:27.920
and how they were for me to understand things more.

1092
01:20:27.939 --> 01:20:32.979
You know, it took me really taking a step back

1093
01:20:33.100 --> 01:20:38.560
and looking at my mom and the family. And recognizing

1094
01:20:38.979 --> 01:20:43.510
the abuse and recognizing that it was unhealthy for everybody.

1095
01:20:44.829 --> 01:20:47.890
But that's what they were used to. And so they

1096
01:20:47.909 --> 01:20:52.869
continued that. And that's what we do because we think, okay, well,

1097
01:20:52.909 --> 01:20:55.649
this is what I learned. So this is what I'm

1098
01:20:55.689 --> 01:20:58.359
going to do. So I think in all of this,

1099
01:20:58.619 --> 01:21:03.359
it really does come down again to education, right? We

1100
01:21:03.399 --> 01:21:11.699
need to teach people. children, that, of many things. Like,

1101
01:21:11.939 --> 01:21:17.859
I think I was maybe four when you had the

1102
01:21:17.899 --> 01:21:22.430
whole conversation of someone touching you type thing and how

1103
01:21:22.439 --> 01:21:27.010
that's not okay, whatever. And it was a lot of

1104
01:21:27.170 --> 01:21:31.289
stranger danger that it was pushed on us, like drugs

1105
01:21:31.369 --> 01:21:33.949
and everything. And I'm like, it was never stranger. It

1106
01:21:33.970 --> 01:21:38.420
was never stranger. My friends gave me drugs, not strangers.

1107
01:21:38.539 --> 01:21:43.090
But it is. It's the people involved in your life,

1108
01:21:43.119 --> 01:21:46.489
the people you know, the people that you are with.

1109
01:21:47.329 --> 01:21:52.350
These are the people that this happens with. And taking

1110
01:21:52.369 --> 01:21:56.739
the precautions, I understand that. Because we have to. Because

1111
01:21:56.760 --> 01:22:00.899
you just never know. You really don't. Like, the fact

1112
01:22:00.939 --> 01:22:04.779
that Lady G had mentioned that, you know... The father

1113
01:22:05.119 --> 01:22:09.640
of her children did not bathe them after a certain point. Like,

1114
01:22:09.899 --> 01:22:14.880
I understand that. You know, like, there's just certain things. Like,

1115
01:22:15.039 --> 01:22:20.659
even kids after a certain age sitting on a man's lap. Like,

1116
01:22:20.920 --> 01:22:25.659
that is also not something that we do. Or, you know, like,

1117
01:22:26.239 --> 01:22:32.130
there's just things. So, and I think that also... can

1118
01:22:32.210 --> 01:22:37.569
fall into the, the cues of teaching body language. Cause like,

1119
01:22:37.649 --> 01:22:41.539
obviously if, if you hug a kid and a kid

1120
01:22:41.579 --> 01:22:43.739
is like doing this, they don't want to be hooked.

1121
01:22:44.300 --> 01:22:44.539
Right.

1122
01:22:45.520 --> 01:22:49.359
So, so it's the same thing. It's, it's showing them

1123
01:22:49.520 --> 01:22:53.100
the respect as well. And being like, okay, you don't

1124
01:22:53.119 --> 01:22:53.920
want me to hug you.

1125
01:22:54.079 --> 01:22:54.500
Okay.

1126
01:22:55.119 --> 01:22:57.310
I won't, you know what I'm saying? Like it starts

1127
01:22:57.430 --> 01:23:00.899
there too. Yeah. Because it's saying, yes, I have a

1128
01:23:00.939 --> 01:23:03.850
voice and I can tell you, no, I don't like that.

1129
01:23:04.369 --> 01:23:07.489
And you're listening to me. And I don't think that

1130
01:23:07.550 --> 01:23:14.689
happens enough. Like, I don't feel like kids are looked

1131
01:23:14.869 --> 01:23:18.029
at as something like they can make their own choice

1132
01:23:18.130 --> 01:23:23.140
for their body or something. And it's like, but why?

1133
01:23:23.420 --> 01:23:26.899
But it is their body and they're responsible for their body.

1134
01:23:27.750 --> 01:23:31.029
So why aren't we teaching them, you know, what's okay

1135
01:23:31.050 --> 01:23:34.109
and what's not okay with their body and how to

1136
01:23:34.189 --> 01:23:37.350
show someone or how to say to someone, I don't

1137
01:23:37.390 --> 01:23:42.189
like that. No, stop, whatever. You know, and then teaching

1138
01:23:42.409 --> 01:23:47.210
the other side, when you hear no, stop, move back,

1139
01:23:47.430 --> 01:23:50.430
walk away, leave the room, whatever, whatever you need to do,

1140
01:23:50.529 --> 01:23:54.170
just avoid. And I feel like that those are not,

1141
01:23:54.890 --> 01:24:00.750
that's not being taught enough. Because a lot, think about it.

1142
01:24:00.779 --> 01:24:07.939
There's times where people are, something is happening and some

1143
01:24:07.979 --> 01:24:12.220
people just freeze. You know, they say, what is it?

1144
01:24:12.430 --> 01:24:17.010
Fight or flight? Yeah. And freeze is another one, right?

1145
01:24:17.109 --> 01:24:20.899
Because some people's instinct could be to just not do

1146
01:24:20.949 --> 01:24:25.579
anything because they're scared. And the natural reaction is to

1147
01:24:25.619 --> 01:24:31.369
just be there. So that's also body language, right? Learning like, okay,

1148
01:24:31.390 --> 01:24:34.930
this person is tensing on me and they're not, they

1149
01:24:34.989 --> 01:24:38.390
don't seem like they're okay. That's a problem. Like when

1150
01:24:38.409 --> 01:24:40.590
we're having sex, it should be enjoyable for the both

1151
01:24:40.630 --> 01:24:44.430
of us, not just one person. And one person is

1152
01:24:44.470 --> 01:24:49.850
just there like fighting and dying for their lives. So

1153
01:24:50.710 --> 01:24:55.800
I agree with the whole like, like I'm not okay

1154
01:24:55.810 --> 01:25:00.640
with people getting so drunk. that they get to a

1155
01:25:00.699 --> 01:25:05.470
place where they can't honestly of sound mind and body

1156
01:25:05.510 --> 01:25:09.850
give consent because if if we're gonna be real okay

1157
01:25:10.569 --> 01:25:14.369
I've gotten really drunk to the point where I can

1158
01:25:14.449 --> 01:25:21.619
say that I don't I don't remember things and because

1159
01:25:21.659 --> 01:25:25.399
we drink a lot like with not everybody does it

1160
01:25:25.460 --> 01:25:30.989
but I'm saying we drank a lot And things could

1161
01:25:31.029 --> 01:25:35.489
have happened. Right. But I was around people I trusted

1162
01:25:35.680 --> 01:25:39.960
and friends, mostly women. So, and I would go home

1163
01:25:40.000 --> 01:25:44.439
with them, you know, like there was no like being

1164
01:25:44.479 --> 01:25:51.270
by myself, but like in those situations, like if I'm

1165
01:25:51.329 --> 01:25:54.369
fucked up, I think it's also smart to teach women.

1166
01:25:54.390 --> 01:25:57.149
Like if you're fucked up, go home, bitch. Like, this

1167
01:25:57.199 --> 01:26:01.729
is not the time to try and play games or whatever,

1168
01:26:02.170 --> 01:26:09.430
because you're not there all the way. Right. So, yes,

1169
01:26:09.529 --> 01:26:14.979
let's teach. Let's not put ourselves in this situation. Let's,

1170
01:26:15.279 --> 01:26:18.579
you know, be of sound mind when we're going to

1171
01:26:18.600 --> 01:26:19.819
be doing things like this.

1172
01:26:20.539 --> 01:26:21.079
Absolutely.

1173
01:26:21.920 --> 01:26:23.520
Because, too, if you need to be drunk all the

1174
01:26:23.539 --> 01:26:31.670
time to be doing that, that's also another problem. but

1175
01:26:31.689 --> 01:26:34.770
yeah I think it's big like I know college like

1176
01:26:35.270 --> 01:26:38.170
it's freedom it's like my parents aren't here I'm gonna

1177
01:26:38.210 --> 01:26:43.210
get fucked up and I get that but at the

1178
01:26:43.250 --> 01:26:46.569
same time you kind of do have to be careful

1179
01:26:46.800 --> 01:26:48.939
and try not to put yourself in a.

1180
01:26:48.939 --> 01:26:52.600
Situation definitely have to be careful.

1181
01:26:52.840 --> 01:26:56.510
It's just crazy and it's sad It is.

1182
01:26:56.520 --> 01:27:05.289
It really is. Oh, wow. Okay.

1183
01:27:06.210 --> 01:27:06.590
Yep.

1184
01:27:07.970 --> 01:27:10.329
You're going to need a fat blunt after this.

1185
01:27:10.350 --> 01:27:18.220
All right. So you good?

1186
01:27:20.039 --> 01:27:26.529
Yeah, I'm reading. I'm reading, uh, the comments that were

1187
01:27:26.609 --> 01:27:27.770
there so.

1188
01:27:27.989 --> 01:27:33.149
There's one that says there's also fawning okay to being

1189
01:27:33.210 --> 01:27:34.390
a people pleaser.

1190
01:27:34.250 --> 01:27:39.750
Yes yeah yeah there's that too like just going along

1191
01:27:39.789 --> 01:27:41.729
with things because you want to make the other person

1192
01:27:41.789 --> 01:27:47.409
happy yeah that's that's also like borderline i feel like

1193
01:27:48.880 --> 01:27:51.039
you know, at the end of the day, if, if

1194
01:27:51.140 --> 01:27:54.579
you don't want to, especially like that, you don't want

1195
01:27:54.619 --> 01:27:58.220
to do something. You should, it should be okay to say,

1196
01:27:58.279 --> 01:27:59.399
I don't want to do that.

1197
01:27:59.420 --> 01:28:00.760
Right.

1198
01:28:00.939 --> 01:28:02.840
I feel like if you're in a situation where you

1199
01:28:02.920 --> 01:28:05.399
can't say, I don't want to do that. And, and

1200
01:28:05.460 --> 01:28:10.550
it's a problem, then you shouldn't be there. You just

1201
01:28:10.569 --> 01:28:11.289
shouldn't be there.

1202
01:28:11.310 --> 01:28:21.279
Right. Yeah. So, all right. All right, so we're going

1203
01:28:22.020 --> 01:28:24.479
to go around the room with a closing statement.

1204
01:28:25.159 --> 01:28:25.470
Sure.

1205
01:28:27.109 --> 01:28:29.310
Lady G, you want to go first? Mm-hmm.

1206
01:28:29.350 --> 01:28:32.869
Well, I'm not sure what to say.

1207
01:28:32.890 --> 01:28:33.949
Hmm.

1208
01:28:40.640 --> 01:28:44.239
Yeah, I don't even know what to say.

1209
01:28:45.199 --> 01:28:47.000
Okay, it's cool.

1210
01:28:47.539 --> 01:28:52.899
A lot was said, a lot. I just think that,

1211
01:28:54.220 --> 01:28:57.880
you know, I hope people out there have someone they

1212
01:28:57.899 --> 01:29:03.920
can talk to. you know, like, or, you know, hopefully

1213
01:29:03.960 --> 01:29:08.720
have a therapist. Don't hate on therapy. It's really good

1214
01:29:08.800 --> 01:29:11.649
to have someone who's unbiased in your life who can

1215
01:29:11.729 --> 01:29:16.430
hear you and actually listen to what you're saying. And

1216
01:29:17.689 --> 01:29:20.829
there are support groups and there are people out there

1217
01:29:20.869 --> 01:29:27.329
to help. And I think that even though it sometimes

1218
01:29:27.390 --> 01:29:32.659
feels super daunting and like, Like, it feels like things

1219
01:29:32.840 --> 01:29:36.579
aren't going to get better. I know they are. You know, like.

1220
01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:41.359
Life is a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs.

1221
01:29:41.789 --> 01:29:41.989
And.

1222
01:29:43.170 --> 01:29:48.569
Just know that it can get better. And you... You

1223
01:29:48.630 --> 01:29:50.010
can be better for you.

1224
01:29:50.029 --> 01:29:54.500
Yeah.

1225
01:29:55.800 --> 01:30:01.409
So... A person's body is not community property. We have

1226
01:30:01.439 --> 01:30:09.520
to understand that. Intoxication is not permission. Silence is not permission.

1227
01:30:12.500 --> 01:30:16.670
Consent to one person is not consent to others. You

1228
01:30:16.689 --> 01:30:22.949
know what I mean? And when someone comes forward alleging

1229
01:30:23.029 --> 01:30:29.039
sexual assault, they deserve to be heard, taken seriously, and

1230
01:30:29.100 --> 01:30:34.720
given a thorough investigation. At the same time, accusations must

1231
01:30:34.760 --> 01:30:40.300
be evaluated fairly with evidence and due process. Because the

1232
01:30:40.340 --> 01:30:44.239
truth matters, accountability matters, and the trauma doesn't magically disappear

1233
01:30:44.930 --> 01:30:51.270
when the headlines do. Trauma's there forever. You know, despite

1234
01:30:51.369 --> 01:30:55.250
all the help you get, there's something out there that

1235
01:30:55.270 --> 01:30:58.829
will trigger you. Mm-hmm. You know, and you have to,

1236
01:31:00.210 --> 01:31:02.609
you know, when you're dealing with someone who's been through

1237
01:31:02.640 --> 01:31:06.680
what a lot of women and some people, some men

1238
01:31:06.699 --> 01:31:13.340
have been through, you know, it's anything can, anything can

1239
01:31:13.500 --> 01:31:20.779
trigger somebody. You know what triggered my boy? Coffee breath. Oh, wow.

1240
01:31:22.229 --> 01:31:26.479
That's fucked. Coffee breath. Anybody who spoke to him, or

1241
01:31:26.500 --> 01:31:29.020
got close enough to him that had coffee, but he'd

1242
01:31:29.060 --> 01:31:36.430
be like, you know, terrible, but you know, it's, it's sad.

1243
01:31:36.449 --> 01:31:38.689
PTSD is real. Like, this is what I'm saying. Like,

1244
01:31:39.270 --> 01:31:42.989
I got triggered. I, I didn't even see that coming.

1245
01:31:43.569 --> 01:31:46.460
You know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't expect that

1246
01:31:46.560 --> 01:31:51.039
at all, but it happens. Like, unfortunately there's things like

1247
01:31:51.100 --> 01:31:55.659
that we can't control, but it's, it's about what we do.

1248
01:31:57.630 --> 01:32:02.489
I could have kept being angry and reacting to stupid shit.

1249
01:32:03.029 --> 01:32:07.699
But instead, I sat with it. And I really was thinking,

1250
01:32:07.779 --> 01:32:10.560
what the fuck is happening? And then I started thinking

1251
01:32:10.579 --> 01:32:14.420
about what's really making me upset. And that's how everything

1252
01:32:14.460 --> 01:32:18.699
started coming out. So I think it's really important to

1253
01:32:18.739 --> 01:32:23.529
just be honest with yourself sometimes and really allow yourself

1254
01:32:23.590 --> 01:32:26.939
to feel good. Like if shit hurts, it hurts. If

1255
01:32:26.979 --> 01:32:30.960
you need to cry, cry. Like it is not weak

1256
01:32:31.060 --> 01:32:35.810
to cry. It is actually very natural to cry. Imagine

1257
01:32:35.869 --> 01:32:40.210
it as like your eyes need to release and let go.

1258
01:32:40.229 --> 01:32:45.210
You know, just let it happen because it's just a

1259
01:32:45.329 --> 01:32:51.550
natural emotion of things. It needs to get out. They

1260
01:32:51.569 --> 01:32:55.460
even did a study with tears. You know that the, like,

1261
01:32:55.979 --> 01:33:00.000
at a molecular cell level, it's different when it's happy tears,

1262
01:33:00.460 --> 01:33:04.289
when it's sad tears, when it's angry tears. Yes. We

1263
01:33:04.430 --> 01:33:08.989
fucking produce different tears for different emotions.

1264
01:33:09.750 --> 01:33:11.369
You're going to have to send me that article.

1265
01:33:12.850 --> 01:33:14.750
It's very, it's very for real.

1266
01:33:15.750 --> 01:33:17.180
Hmm. I want to see that.

1267
01:33:18.680 --> 01:33:20.920
You could Google it. Okay. And I bet you you'll

1268
01:33:20.939 --> 01:33:21.279
find it.

1269
01:33:21.340 --> 01:33:22.279
All right.

1270
01:33:23.220 --> 01:33:23.319
Yeah.

1271
01:33:27.550 --> 01:33:36.020
Well I hope everybody who stood um who stayed to

1272
01:33:36.079 --> 01:33:38.460
listen and watched learned.

1273
01:33:38.260 --> 01:33:42.239
Something oh thank you for those very nice comments that

1274
01:33:42.300 --> 01:33:47.479
people did I appreciate that I really do you know.

1275
01:33:47.359 --> 01:33:51.439
Um I hope that we've opened some eyes opened some

1276
01:33:51.579 --> 01:33:56.159
ears and um You know, that's what we do here

1277
01:33:56.180 --> 01:34:01.810
in the show. We give info out and we're honest

1278
01:34:01.890 --> 01:34:06.090
as we do it. So this is Lady G. That's

1279
01:34:06.130 --> 01:34:09.689
TG Love. I'm Big Coleon. Thank you for joining us tonight.

1280
01:34:10.310 --> 01:34:14.380
And always remember that at some point, this might hurt.

1281
01:34:15.260 --> 01:34:17.140
Good night, everybody. Bye.

1282
01:34:51.069 --> 01:34:51.609
Bye. Bye.