The Red Flag Was There From Day One, You Just Called It Love...Why!?

2:00 Yo, what's up everybody? This is Big Corleone with the This Might Hurt Podcast. Coming to you live. You know how we do it. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to bring in my co-host, TG Love. Yo. Yo. TG. Hi. Hi. How are you? Oh, my God.

2:41 I was trying to use headphones, but I don't know what's happening. But, yeah, I can't see. Hi. Hi. I wasn't ready. Look at me. I don't know. I'm, like, trying to configure things better because, like, just the situation with the phone and stuff and the thing I'm using is so flimsy. I think it's time to get some stuff. Oh, my Lord, Jesus. So I can hear you clearly. You hear me clearly? Yes, I can. All right. All right, cool. So everything's been good? Everything all.

3:23 Right? Yeah. I wish I knew how to make things bigger on here. The thing is, we got to get you a laptop. Yeah, we do. Yeah definitely but everything's been good I see you got a new hairstyle I got. A haircut I dyed it but I'm not crazy about the color because I feel like you can't really tell. And I started a new job almost. Forgot I feel like I can't see and it's probably because I'm blind these days I got look at that I can see if I do that with my progressives.

4:06 I got freaking new glasses. Oh, my God. But I can't, like, I don't know. I'm still getting used to them. And, oh, yeah. So I'm working at a different place now. And so far, so good. That's good. It seems like it's going to be a fun and interesting time there. Yeah. That's good. That's good. So today's topic, of course, is going to hit a couple people hard. We might hurt some feelings along the way. You know how we do it here. Red flags. Yes. So we all know what the fucking red flag is. There's red flags everywhere. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Not everyone can spot a red flag. Sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it isn't.

5:20 You know, but eventually the red flag does show itself. And every once in a while, you get a fucking green flag. Every once in a while, not all the time, though. So, with that being said, I got two emails, right? One from a dude named Marcus and one from a woman named Leslie. The reason why I picked these emails is because we're getting it from a male's perspective and from a female's perspective. Okay. All right. So let's start with Marcus. Let's get the dude's perspective on this first. You ready for this? Yeah, I know, right?

6:14 Yes. Go for it. I'm going to try to put my headphones back on. Oh, Lady G is here. Hold on one sec. Hello. Hi, how's it going? How are you? I am good. All right. So, all right. So check this. This is from Marcus. Okay. All right. There's an email from Marcus about his dating experience and how he spotted these red flags. All right. Yep.

6:58 All right. So long time fan of the show. Oh, wait, this isn't even, no, this isn't Marcus. All right, here we go. Wrong one. Sorry. What's up, y'all? Marcus here. I need the crew to help me make sense of this because my brain and my common sense are currently fighting for custody of my decisions. I went out with this woman recently, and I'm not going to lie. She is fine. All right. Where did TG run off to? All right. Oh, well. All right, we got to wait until she comes back.

7:40 Where'd she go? She disappeared. Yeah, she didn't pay her Wi-Fi bill. That's the problem. No Wi-Fi. That's what happened. They just cut her off. All right, so anyway, I'm not going to lie. She's fine. Like, stupid attractive. The chemistry was there. The flirting was heavy. She kept touching my arm, laughing at damn near everything I said. What happened? You didn't pay your Wi-Fi bill? No, I couldn't hear. The sound went for some reason, even though I was like pressing a million things to try to get it back.

8:27 I don't know. So I decided, let me leave and come back. All right. And it obviously worked because I couldn't hear again. I still can't see, but I can hear. Okay. But I see you. All right. I'm going to start again from here. Okay. I went out with this woman recently, and I'm not going to lie, she is fine. Like, stupid attractive. The chemistry was there. The flirting was heavy. She kept touching my arm, laughing at damn near everything I said, and I definitely got the feeling she was into me. The problem is while one part of me was thinking, yeah, I need a second date. The other part was sitting there watching a red flags pop up like notifications on a busted phone. And I'm trying to figure out if I'm being too judgmental or if I'm horny or my horny ass is just willing to walk into a burning building. while the woman holding the gasoline looks good.

9:35 Oh, my. Oh, my God. All right. Here are the five things that really bothered me. First, she spent a big chunk of the date absolutely destroying every one of her exes. According to her, every man she's ever dated is crazy, toxic, jealous, manipulative, broke, or a narcissist, and somehow she was never part of the problem. All right? Second, she was rude as hell. Hold on, let me flip the page here. She was rude as hell to the server over something minor. And that instantly made me wonder how she treats people when she doesn't need something from them. Third, she kept checking my phone every time it lit up and actually asked, who keeps texting you? Mind you, this is the first date. Ma'am, you don't even know my middle name yet.

10:43 Fourth. Does she even know his first. Name? Probably not. All right. Fourth, she started talking about how men should prove themselves financially and made a few comments about what I drive, what I do for work, and whether I own my own place. It kind of felt like a date and more. It didn't feel like a date, but more like I was applying for a damn mortgage. And fifth, and this one really got me. She straight up admitted that that when she gets mad in relationships, she'll block somebody, disappear for days, and then say things like she didn't really mean to, just to hurt them. She laughed when she said it, so I didn't show much interest after that. Am I looking at five giant warning signs or ignoring them because she's beautiful and clearly feeling me? Or am I overthinking one wild first date? Because right now the red flags are waving, but so is my dumb ass.

12:06 Well, I definitely think there are red flags. I just don't think he's recognizing them for what they are. Like, I think he's thinking other things. About these red flags. Oh man i mean. He's obviously thinking with his dick this woman has this woman gives us a bad name and she is the reason why there's so many disgruntled men about dating women because they think they're like that you don't go on a first date and talk about your exes you should be talking about you and getting to know the person in front of you Like, why are you talking about the past? And then you're blaming everyone, which means you take no accountability at all, which means you're not self-aware.

12:53 Then you treat the waitress like shit. So you're a piece of shit. Like, I feel like every single thing that he said, I would have just been like, I mean, I guess if she would have given him a blowjob, I would have taken it. But other than that, like, I would never speak to that person again. Like, Why would, where, where were the qualities? He did not say not one, not real qualities. About this woman, except that she's good looking, that she's beautiful. So she's beautiful. So there's a lot of beautiful women, but this woman is obviously showing you that she doesn't have anything to bring to the table. She has work to do. She's immature, blocking people, not talking to them and then laughing about it.

13:40 I feel like I'm in a movie. Like what's, That's so immature. Like, how old was this bitch? And how beautiful are we talking that you would literally overthink this? Right, right, right. It's wild, too, because he said that she actually said that a man has to prove himself financially. What? Yeah. And that bullshit too. Like, I'm sorry. Are you not living in this economy? Are you not living in the U S in any state right now? We gas prices with rent, rent, forget like buying a house because that you need a lot of money for and who can save money to buy a house when you're living paycheck to paycheck, because you're working one or two, three jobs for some people and And then like to do it on your own and have to pay like 12, even like, I don't know what I Jersey rent was always astronomical.

14:46 I don't care where you went. I always felt it was expensive. Unless you're going to live in the hood and you, you're going to pay very little, but what's. Like, I don't knock anyone. I'm doing this so I can read. hi monica i don't yes run i don't i don't blame anyone for why are we getting mad at people because they don't have the what you think the best of and guess what i bet that bitch don't have it either. You know what i'm saying like yo you're probably broke as fuck yourself.

15:28 You probably live at home. You know what i'm saying like yo And I'm wondering what she got to eat. I'm wondering if she got the lobster or the salad. Right. And what were you eating? It's like, what are you doing? First of all, that email is what to not do on a first date. Like, ever. Like, how to lose a guy in Five Flags. Yeah. That's Chris Wyatt. I mean, the idiot. Sorry, Marcus, you're an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. Am I looking at five giant warning signs or ignoring them because she's beautiful and clearly feeling me?

16:10 Who cares? You're going to sacrifice a lifetime of bullshit just for a good time. But guys do that all the time. Yeah, of course they do. They overlook the quality women for the one that looks good. They put up with that stupid crap for the one that looks good. Or the one that's easier to please. Exactly. Yeah, it's ridiculous. The ones that they don't have to grow up for. The ones that don't challenge them. Emotional, damn it! Accept them in their sad state that they're in.

17:00 Yeah, that's terrible. Terrible. From our mouth to your ears, don't be a fucking idiot. Run. Don't be an idiot like Marcus. Sorry, Marcus. Sorry, not sorry. You get the. I definitely look. It's so loud. But also, not for nothing, the tides have turned, right? Because.... Now we have men who are talking about, you know, like what are women bringing to the table? What can women offer them? You know, yes, I know we are in a time of like growth and, you know, we've evolved and stuff like that. But whatever happened to men feeling responsible to care for someone in their future? You know, like, actually providing a safe space for a woman so that she can be supported and she can support him. You know, because, like, yes, now we're in the work world. We're not housewives anymore and things like that. But now men are almost, like, taking the role of women where they also want to know what a woman brings to the table.

18:30 Does she have this? Does she have that? Mm-hmm. You know, so it's like, are you going to go on a date with me 50-50? You know, like. Yeah, we're going Dutch. Yeah, we're going Dutch. I make it very clear. Listen, I don't need anyone to care for me. But the truth of the matter is, I am of kind of sort of like that old school thing is I don't, you know, I do for myself. I provide for myself. I'm in my masculine energy because I'm the one paying my bills. I'm the one taking care of all my business. But the truth is, I do want someone. I don't need anyone to care for me. I don't need anyone.

19:11 To protect me. But I want someone who wants to, who still feels responsible to be the protector, to be you know, the strong arm to be, you know, the safe space so that I can be in my feminine energy and support him and be there for him and do all the things that, you know, a man deserves, just like a woman deserves to feel safe and secure. You know, but it's like, we're not there anymore. Yeah, your mic was a little messed up, like it was coming in and out, but we heard her. You heard her clearly? Everything, yep.

19:55 Oh, all right. I heard most of it. It's just you, you. It's just you. Yeah, my ears are going. That's what you're saying? Yes. Fuck you! I'll be that viejo. That's all right. Look at all my wisdom, see? Oh, my Lord. You got whiskers coming out of your ears yet? No, they're not. No, but anyway. But, I mean, look. From a man's perspective, you know, from what Lady G was saying, I mean, a lot of relationships nowadays are going that route. you know, men, a lot of men are, you know, looking to women, you know, looking at women and saying to themselves, you know, you know, I'm going to, if I'm going to, you know, be with this woman and then settle down with this woman, she's got to bring some, you know what I'm saying?

20:54 That's funny because most women today put off marriage because they're trying to figure out what men bring to the table for them. Because they can provide for themselves. Well, then that's the woman that, that, that, that's kind of like the independence that, that. But that's a lot of women. And we're talking about these generations. Yeah. Right. I, did they say how old they were? Oh, no, I didn't, they didn't give any ages. No, but like, I'm just curious too, like, because, uh, you know, this is what studies and, and like what statistics are showing. It's like women are putting off marriage. Women, women are focusing just as much as men were focusing on their careers so that they can have the things that they want, a house, a car, whatever it may be and, and provide for them. So I'm just trying to understand like, like why, why, It still can't be like Lady G said, which is, you know, he can still be that masculine energy provider, safe place, strong arm, all those things. And like, to me, this is a partnership.

22:25 I see like how Lady G was saying how I want to be with someone for the long run, because at the end of the day, One day we're going to die. That's the reality of everything. And how do you want to be spending your life? And with who? Do you want someone by your side? You know, there are some people out there who may honestly say, no, I'm okay with dying alone. Kudos to you. But most people, most human beings do not want to be alone. You know, we don't want to wind up in a nursing home or, you know, like that's not, I don't think that's ideal for many of us.

23:08 Right. You know, but, but if we're lucky enough to. Get to that age, let's say, yes, I want someone by my side who, who I feel safe with, who, who we work together. Someone who can add to what you got going on. And now we are benefiting in the fruits of our labor together because that was the goal. But it's like, what's left? So it's true. First of all, we were not created to live this life alone. We were created to have partners. But at the same token, what's it going to cost me? Because now it comes at such a great cost to actually.

23:56 Have someone in our life. You know, I do not want to die alone. However, if not dying alone means that not only do I have to carry myself, but now I also have to carry my partner financially and emotionally and all that kind of stuff. it's like, is that cost worth it for me to be with someone? And it's, yeah, for me, it's not. And so even though I don't want to die alone, I'm actually okay with being alone as long as it, you know, if, if it means that not being alone, like I'm not willing to not be alone by any means necessary, you know, like that's not, that's, that's not it for me.

24:39 I'd rather struggle. Like you're not worth settling. I'm not going to settle for the sake of not being alone. Yeah, because it's not. What is the purpose of having someone in your life if you're going to be just as sad, miserable, and angry as if you were alone? It's not worth that. I can struggle all by myself. I don't have nobody else in. My life to struggle with. What if there wasn't a struggle? What if... ends with meeting like a motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Well, I don't just mean, I don't just mean financially. I know, but what I'm saying... Go ahead. What I'm saying is, what if everything is meeting at, you know, where everything is going the way it's supposed to go, everything is peachy green financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, everything is going great. Something happens... where a job gets lost times are starting to get to the point where, you know, you're starting to struggle a little bit. What do you do about it then?

25:52 But see, the thing is that is a, a life obstacle. You didn't start that way. That's something that actually, believe it or not, someone losing their job or some, Tragedy happening in the middle of your life is what life is about, is the purpose of the relationship. We're not saying that things are never going to be hard. Actually, if there were no hard times, I would have to wonder how real this relationship is because no two people are going to get through life hunky dory. But that's what you sign up for. Once you get in the relationship, you're signing up for the highs and the lows. But if I'm meeting you at your low and I'm, you know, okay, or, you know, like if we're coming in not equal, then how am I.

26:49 Supposed to hold, like help hold you up if you came in that way? So it's kind of like this. But wait, I think we have to take an account to our ages here, okay? Because this is different if we're talking younger people. This is different. Right, right, right. Because we are in this season of our lives where we've been through them. Yeah. And now, you know, we're in a different place in our lives. But even the younger generation. I mean, don't settle. Yeah. So, but my question as a younger generation is regardless of where you currently are, what's the plan? You know, like, do you even have a plan or are you looking to just coast through with the woman that holds you down?

27:42 The woman that's got your back, your ride or die. She's going to cook for you. She's going to clean for you. She's going to pay for your braids. She's going to, you. Know, like. I ain't got hair. I don't need braids. Unfortunately, that's what a lot of the younger generation, you know, the guys are talking about how women are. Just gold digging them. But aren't they doing the same exact thing? Yes. When a man asked me what I bring to the table, my answer is going to be clearly not you. Because if you need. To ask me that as a woman, that's already telling me part of what I need to know. which is you're always going to be looking for what you're getting out of the deal instead of wanting to provide anything to the relationship.

28:36 Like if you're hurt first, go ahead. All right, so people game, so check it. Now, my thing is this. I understand that a lot of women want ready-made dudes, right? You know what I'm saying? It's not ready-made. It's not ready-made. It's what are you doing for yourself to meet me in the middle instead of asking me what I'm bringing or what you're bringing. But he still needs to have his shit, you know, pretty much together. You know what I mean? So what if this dude You know, you meet this guy and you guys are, you know, hitting off and everything and things are cool. You find out that he's some kind of like entrepreneur or something. You know what I'm saying?

29:34 And he he's just he's just making his way through buildings. something. Are you going to sit there? Is there actions? Right. The guy's building shit. The guy's building shit. Right. So there's a difference between someone being ambitious in a sense of talking about doing things and wanting to do things. And I've been doing the research, but like, But the actual, there's a plan, there's an action plan. And something's actually happening. Like nobody is knocking anyone who is actually doing something. There are more people talking shit than not. There's more people out there who great. I love that you're ambitious.

30:20 You have dreams and goals and everything. Wonderful. But what the fuck are you doing about it? But I'm saying, hold on a minute. I'm not talking to you. I'm just saying in general, this is the thing. It's not about like, oh, you know, he's a bum, this, that, and the other thing. Because, you know, he's 38 and he doesn't have a full-time job or whatever. Listen, I want to get to know who you are as a person. Maybe there's a story behind that. That. Okay. But that doesn't mean that there still can't be red flags or anything like that. So you can't like, again, we've talked about this before in another show, seeing potential in people, which is great because there is potential in a lot of us.

31:14 Right. But what are we showing at the potential? What are we showing? And not the reality. Right. Because we've said this before. People show you who they are. What is that person showing you? Are they actually like talking about this ambitious plan to become a business owner? Yet they've been talking about it for two years and literally nothing has happened except a notebook filled with a bunch of words. Is that ambitious or like, what is that? Right. Talking about building a certain business, but they've been talking about building that business for years.

31:54 Yeah. And in the meantime, they're working at McDonald's or they're, you know, just. But no plan. Yeah. Like just doing bare minimum in the meantime, because I've got this big plan coming up. Yeah, but how are you living? How are you making this plan come to fruition? He's a manager at Mickey D's. You know what I'm saying? Maybe he went from lettuce to fries to milkshakes. He could be. Yeah, but I'm not talking about the manager. She's not talking about the manager. But that's the whole thing, yes. You're just a regular old line burger flipper. And, you know, so your ambition for this dream is great, but what steps have you taken to actually level yourself up?

32:43 Wait a. Minute. Am I supposed to be offended by this comment? What he does and how much money he makes, which is who is he? Okay. Okay. A man isn't going to be able to be the man you need if he doesn't have the three things, which is who he is, what he does, and how much money he makes. I disagree with you. I disagree with you. I disagree with you because those are superficial things. At the end of the day, what you should be looking for is, is this person honest? Can they be trusted?

33:30 Do they respect me and others? Do they show love and support? And not how much. Money does he make, but is he making? Damn, I wish I was making the money that I feel that I deserve to be making, but I'm not. Because they're not paying me what I should be getting paid. Okay? So you need to take money out of the equation. Yeah. Right. The work ethic is more important at the end of the day than what you make. Because the business doesn't also really reflect on people. Who's not looking for?

34:10 I'm confused about who said what, because I'm not even reading who said it. But I mean, let's be real. If those are your motivating things, the big things that you're looking for in the other person, then I say maybe you need to question a little bit more about what it is that you are looking for i wish. I wish i wish i had a red flag right now so you could throw it i'd be throwing that shit it's. So funny because i have a flag but it's a uh lgtbq flag and i was like man i wish i had a red one so i could just be like you know but no we didn't think that through.

34:50 All right so so that Let me get into the second email. This one is interesting. Oh, my God. Now that this is what's being said, this email is pretty wild, too. All right. So this one's from a woman named Leslie. Leslie, thank you for the email. Longtime fan of the show. Oh, she's starting it off already fucked up. Sorry, fellas. This is for the ladies of the crew. So ridiculous. Oh, my God. Leslie here, and I need help because this man had me questioning my standards, my judgment, and possibly my eyesight. He was exactly my type.

35:37 Handsome as hell, over six feet tall, smells good, haircut fresh, clean clothes, shoes matching, beard lined up like somebody used a ruler. Basically the kind of man who makes you forget you were supposed to be paying attention to his personality. I was definitely into him, but the entire date I couldn't tell if he was really feeling me. Or if I was just naturally, or he was just naturally charming. He was polite, funny, and easy to talk to. Baby, I felt like I was trying to read a text message. Oh, but emotionally. Baby, I felt like I was trying to read a text message with 2% battery left. So here's what had me side eyeing this whole situation. Red flag number one. He mentioned his best friend was a female about nine times. Apparently, she knows everything about him, talks to him every day, has a key to his place, and according to him, Women always misunderstand their friendship. Sir, why does your best friend sound like your wife without benefits?

36:56 Red flag, too. His phone. Oh, my God. Hold on. Could I flip the page? Be a whole moment. His phone stayed face down the entire date, and every time it buzzed, he looked at it like it contained nuclear launch codes. At one point, he actually picked it up, walked away from the table, and came back saying, just handling something. Like what? Batman? Red Flag 3. But are we talking first dates or are we talking relationships? Hold up, hold up, hold up. That's not a red flag. Hold up. He casually admitted that he hadn't had a relationship that lasted longer than six months because he gets bored.

37:44 when things become routine, excuse me. So basically once the honeymoon phase is over, my replacement is already warming up in the bullpen, but here's the damn green flag. Oh, that's a green flag. When we talked about the future, he said he genuinely wants to get married one day, have kids, build a family and actually be a present husband and father. And I'm not going to lie, that hit me right in the soft spot. So now I'm stuck. Is this a well-dressed six-foot-tall red flag factory with one beautiful green flag hanging in the window? Or am I judging him too fast because I couldn't tell if he really liked me? Because, ladies and gentlemen, I am attracted, confused, concerned, and apparently still willing to answer his texts.

38:37 Help. Oh, Leslie, you poor, poor Leslie. Oh, my. If those are your red flags, you do not deserve. Is he black? Please send him my way. Oh, gosh. Is he a black six foot tall man that looks handsome? Oh, my God. Leslie, what are you doing? This is ridiculous. Oh my god i don't think he wants to be part of a poly. Program why doesn't like anybody like want it like like the thing that bothered me the most about that email was how much she valued how good he looked smelled what was the other thing like all the fucking descriptors of just yumminess oh great yumminess again so you're just as bad as marcus leslie i'm sorry to say but like what was like okay i can understand a woman not liking the whole best friend female um yeah that's about definitely about boundaries and also I need more context like how long have they been best friends they grew up together like type thing like all that but yes I mean him he was respectful and got up to

40:07 use his phone and then apologized when he came back and said he had had to handle something and you took it personally like oh, I'm not good enough to stay for? Like, what? Because she was like, oh, what is it? Batman? Shut up. Are you serious? Or maybe he is Batman. Six foot tall and something. What are we doing? I don't. Know. This is so frustrating. The people that are dating right now, I get it. Oh, my God. The pain. I feel you. Kitty, stop. Sorry.

40:50 So, I mean, the dude did have one green flag that she claims was a green flag. Which was what again? Which was, they were talking about the future. Oh, the future. Oh, he wants to get married and have kids. He didn't say he wanted it with you though, Leslie. He never once said he wanted that with you. He just wants those things. Women, you need to stop this shit. Okay? Talk and have conversation. Get to know someone. But then let him show you who he is and listen to your fucking gut. Period. If there's red flags, like, even for you, fine. If that's a red flag, like, somebody can't, like, stay off their phone, whatever, then fine.

41:35 But, like, to me, that's a soft red flag. I feel like there's soft red flags and then, like, hard ones. Does this make sense? Everybody has their own. Hard lines and soft lines. If that's a hard line for you, then you already know. He's not for you. Don't second guess yourself. You know, like don't second guess yourself. But also if you're like overthinking shit and making shit personal when it isn't, take a step back, Leslie. Yeah. I mean, but then what about this? the one on the red flag, he casually admitted he hadn't had a relationship last longer than six months because he gets bored when things become routine.

42:25 He hasn't found out. Whatever. He's honest. At least he fucking ends shit when he's not feeling it and he doesn't just stay to. Appease. I mean, there's different ways to look at these things. But again, if that's a hard line for her, then. Okay. But, like, again, why just because somebody looks good that that's enough? Right. You know? Yeah. I once shared a meme, which I thought was really funny, that said that, like, if he can cook, that knocks off, like, two red flags automatically.

43:06 Oh, I'm sorry. If he could cook good, not just cook. Okay. Well, there's a difference between Chef Boyardee. Correct. corporate and chef friends will z yes yes. So i think like. It's all like lady g said it's about like how you see things your boundaries what's good enough for you what's not good enough for you and again not settling like and if you don't like those things okay then then move on To me, they're superficial things, but that's cool because then you're leaving that fish in the sea for us to line, sink, and hook.

43:51 Thank you. Thank you, Leslie. There are some people looking just for superficial things, and that's what's going to make them happy. But then there are others who are looking for a deeper, meaningful thing. And, you know, so everybody knows what their thing is. The problem is we're not. Being at what's good for us. Again, we're doing that, looking at potential. Just because he said that he's interested in getting. Married and having a future, he didn't say he was interested in doing that now. He didn't say he was interested in doing that with her. Exactly. He didn't even say if he was interested in doing that with a woman.

44:32 Like, Oh, that's true. It's so vague, but nobody's asking the follow up questions. You know, like if you're going to start talking about future type stuff, then. You'll be down with the party program. So then let's get then let's have that discussion then. You know, if that's what if you know, if you're going to throw that on the table, then I'm going to pick it up. Yeah. And let's, you know, dig into that a little bit. You know, are we talking about You know, short-term, long-term, like, where are you at in that? I'm looking for something red to throw. Oh, gosh. You know, like, different things like that. Because everybody's different.

45:14 What's a red flag to one person might be a green flag to somebody else. Everybody's looking for something else. But once, like, you have to stop second-guessing. Like you said, go with your gut. If you're second-guessing about what this means or what that means, then... Because the truth is, the person that is meant for you, you won't have to second guess. It's just going to. Fit or it's not going to fit. You're going to know. Because whenever you have to question your place in someone else's story, then, you know, like for me anyway, that's too vague. You know, if I'm always wondering where I stand with you, then I'm not standing anywhere.

45:58 I'm moving on. Right. Because that's one of my needs is knowing exactly where I stand at all times. And for some people, that is a red flag. It all depends on the person. But for me, I'm at a place in my life where I know exactly what I want, what I feel I deserve. Well, for me, yes, physical attraction matters. But for me, it's not even just physical attraction. It's a chemistry type of a thing. Right. And because it's not even that you're attractive, but that you're attractive to me.

46:41 Right. So because there are some pretty boys that everybody else is like. Drooling over them. And I look at them and I'm like, you know, it's not really calling my attention, you know. But then there's someone who might have. I actually saw it the other night. He had one dimple, but the dude was not quite like my, my type, but he had this one dimple and. Emotional. Stupid. So for me, just that little dimple was enough kind of chemistry thing for me that, you know, it kind of matched with his personality and. although he's not somebody that I would usually find attractive overall, that one physical attribute was enough for me because his emotional and like emotional intelligent portion made him more attractive. And so that physical aspect was just the little dimple type of thing.

47:48 So you can't judge everybody by the same, you know, the same photograph. Everybody has their own little thing. But you also, again, you have to know where you're standing. And if, you know, communication is key. Communication is key. And we're always going to have those little guessing. But only you can decide what Fred flagged. Only you can decide. How did I know you were going to say that? Only you can decide. Oh, man. No, but all right. So, hey, hold on. I just got another comment. What does it say? I'm tired of putting the glasses on.

48:28 Chemistry is just another word for physical attraction. No, it isn't. Because someone, like, like, okay. Shit, you gotta like my food. What's an example? Okay, so, like, uh, The Rock, right? Like, he's a good-looking guy, right? And at the end of the day, like, I could get down with Dwayne. right physically attractive but if i go up to him and we're having a conversation and he does nothing for me and he leaves me sick what are we doing that's there's no chemistry girl there is a difference okay you're bugging like you know he could be like hot as.

49:17 Hell get the fuck out of here but. Then he starts talking and it's like oh okay well not so much i. Mean you know. He's i mean to me i wouldn't like jump on him i gotta think of a better person but like you know what i'm saying like there is a difference between that i mean to be, like, physical attraction is like, oh! T.G., this is gonna be so crazy, right? I don't know if any of you know who Gary Sinise is, right? Yeah, I know who Gary Sinise is. He's an actor. Yeah, he's an actor. He played in Forrest Gump and, like, some other things. He was Captain Dan.

49:59 Lieutenant Dan. So let me say this. I don't think he is physically attractive at all. But his, well, at least his on-screen demeanor, a lot of the things he's done in the community, to me, that's chemical. That I could honestly, I could, or even Tom Hanks, I could, I don't find them physically attractive at all. However, I feel a chemistry to them. I could imagine. Falling in love. Have you ever seen Tom Hanks protecting his wife? He is very protective of his wife, but he doesn't like anybody.

50:42 Right. So the thing is, some people find that, that piece of him. Right. A great chemistry. Right. If you can talk to someone for hours on end and it feels like moments, that's chemistry. Right. Like you were saying, like with rock. Oh my gosh. Yeah, in a minute, in a minute. Because he is physically attractive. However, he doesn't turn on the lights upstairs. He doesn't get the chemistry moving because, you know. According to DGTG, she doesn't get them. Wow. Yeah. But also, here's another, for instance, okay. James Gandolfini, who played Tony Soprano in The Sopranos, I never really thought he was the best looking guy. But Tony Soprano, the boss, there was something about that power. There was something about the way he took control that made him attractive.

51:54 There were a lot of women who were like, oh, that Tony. And a lot of people were like, ew, really? Tony Soprano? But It was the character. It was how he took charge. It was how, you know, the power behind him and his and the character itself. I just noticed something. What's that? You said if you were talking, if you were having a conversation with The Rock, like, you know, The Rock, you said The Rock. Then you said Dwayne. You said Dwayne is the one that keeps you sick. So what about if he was The Rock? If you were talking to The Rock and Dwayne are two completely different people. No, because I want to body slam The Rock naturally because it's wrestling.

52:41 And unless he's going to be. Like, let me smell what's going on down there. That's a difference. Then The Rock can do whatever he wants to be. Yeah. Emotional for you baby. Not for me. But like i mean there's just like like lead you just said about that connection in your in your minds like i forgot the name of the word uh is it like a paleo something like a person who loves um smart people who could have. That be a sexual thank you cbo sexual Definitely.

53:23 Like, that's a turn on to me. Like, you can have a real conversation. Like, you know what the fuck you're talking about? Oh, man, we can debate. We can argue. Yes. For me, that's like, oh, I like this. This turns me on. Like, to me, that would bring on something. What does that say? I'm not putting my glasses on. But the chemistry part comes after. Physical attraction is the initial thing for you to talk to someone. I mean, I'm talking about, for instance, I'm just going to agree to disagree on that. But yeah, because for me, it's like if you're in front of.

54:03 Something, it's totally different to be texting, talking, video chatting and being in person. OK, and to really get to know someone, you need to be in person because we can all talk shit via text or on the phone. or show you what you want in a video fucking chat. Okay. But the reality is when you meet that person, that's when you know, like, not only am I physically attracted to this person, like, damn, he's hot, but also we have chemistry. There's something going on there. Also, it's not just you. Typically it's something that's picked up, but you feel it with the other person. Lady G, would you agree with that?

54:48 Like it's a, Almost like I can feel like something is coming off. Yes. Whether it's pheromones or whatever. Yeah. A good example is like when you meet people. on like a website, like a dating site or something like that. You get into, it starts off simple. Hey, how you doing? But then the conversation starts to get more interesting, deeper. You talk about different things. That is the chemistry. That is, wow, we have something in common. Wow, I really like what they said about that. And so you can have this great chemistry and then you meet in person And the chemistry and the attraction is different.

55:36 Then it goes from, oh, shit. Basically. Yeah, I agree. I agree, obviously, right? Because there have been people who have fallen in love online and stuff like that. So there definitely is that, like, words are powerful. Let's say that. Words are powerful. And if used correctly with someone, can definitely make or break something. So, but I think it really does matter, like, in person. What does it say? It says, write and the initial thing to get you to start the physical attraction. I mean, let's be real.

56:18 When we're looking on dating sites, the first thing I'm looking at is, like, is he fuckable? Okay. Yeah. And then. Oh, my God. Right. Stop it. What else did he say? I like to read their bio. If they put absolutely no fucking, like, not even trying, just whatever, I might not really be interested then. Unless he's really hot. Then I'll be like, okay, let me see what he has to say. But usually he doesn't have anything to say. So we move on. But, I mean, we all go by attraction. If he doesn't have anything in his bio, I swipe left. Yeah, like, I mean, if you're not willing to at least give me a little something. Or the ones that I can't stand are the ones that are bitching and complaining like.

57:04 Oh, you women, this, that. Really? That's what you want on your bio? You want to bitch and complain about online dating and the women that you've been meeting and stuff like that? That sounds like a you problem. All right. Yeah. Like, why are you putting that in a bio, weirdo? TG, you're bugging, yo. Anyway. All right. So this is what we're going to do for the last couple, because, you know, a couple minutes, you know, we're going to just cut it a little bit. So I want, we're all going to do, all of us are going to do this. Oh, God. Three. That's too many. Three red flags. What are your ultimate three red flags that will definitely get you to be like, no, absolutely not.

57:52 You got to get to step in. You don't have to go home. Well, you got to get the fuck up out of here. Three red flags, and let's start with Lady G. I don't know. One red flag would be. If he talks any sexual conversation on the first date. Okay. That's definitely a red flag. Yeah. Another red flag. If he has. Nothing good to say about the mother of any of his children.

58:32 Hmm. That's an interesting one. Yeah. Because, I mean, what if the relationship... Oh, yeah, you shouldn't talk about... Yeah, I get it. All right. No, no, no. It's not even about the previous relationship. The thing is, if you don't have anything nice to say about the other parent of your child, that leads. Me to wonder, but you chose them. You're the one. Who decided you wanted to take that route with that person. And now all of a sudden, you know, they're no good anymore. Just because you don't work out doesn't make them a piece of trash. I mean, they are. on the relationship ended up, you know. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, you can't.

59:15 Yeah, but still, if somebody's, you know, kicking somebody's back in after the fact and not and not and not taking any accountability for their part, you know, for me, that's a red flag. All right. And the last one. Okay. But isn't that... That'll be a red flag that takes... That takes... That can go over time. Like, you have to see if this guy is consistent. So, it'll take... No, if you tell. Me you're going to call me and you don't call me. Or text or whatever. Yeah, like. Yeah. If you go to. Basically, if you go 24 hours, you say you like me and you go 24 hours and we have no conversation...

59:57 I don't hear anything from you to me. That's a red flag because you don't like me enough that in a 24 hour period, you don't want to know anything about what's up with me. Right. Yeah. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. TG. I know you got some. I have like 40. I know. I know. Calm down. Uh, So for me, one of them, because I am an intellectual and I am politically derived in morality and stuff.

1:00:38 First red flag for me is any MAGA person. Bye. Okay. Second red flag is if they have any DV prior shit or have tumultuous relationships with baby mom. Or any of that shit. Um, and, and even to say bad relationships with your kids, not having relationships with your kids or, uh, issues with baby mom, that all like, like the whole, like, yeah, those are like, to me, like the biggest things because, uh, I don't know. It says a lot about, you know, your past you and like how you handle things. But Along the lines with Inconsistent but just like Lying Basically red flags are like lying and getting caught In lies or Yeah Those are big red flags.

1:01:46 Okay What are yours? I'm gonna do that Miyagi Get my hand. Warm Let's see how great these are. Alright First one is if you don't know how to communicate with me, leave me alone. You got to know how to communicate because if we can't have a conversation or even the simplest type of conversation about whether it be past, present, future, whatever, whether it's bullshit, whether it's about whatever, whatever it is, you have to communicate. If you can't communicate, I consider that a red flag. That's one.

1:02:30 Yeah, but that's kind of vague. Communication, I mean, we're communicating right now. What type of communication? Okay, the type of communication I'm talking about is if you can't get, if we can't have the deep conversation, if we can't have the kind of conversation that shows who we really are, who we want to be, and who we want to eventually become. So communication substance it. Has yeah yeah all right. Pass the superficial you want more than that if they can't do. That right i want to be able to dig into the rabbit hole you know what i'm saying yes that's one two you you have to be able to to to to like my cooking If you don't like what I cook and how I cook, you gots to go.

1:03:31 All right? My rice, beans, teriyaki, fried chicken, chuletas, everything, bang it. If you don't like my food, you gots to get to stepping. I'm just playing, but for real, you got to like my food. I'm going to say, what if we have seen negative outcomes of your cooking? Then what are we supposed to do? Yeah. You burnt that chuleta. Don't lie. No, no, no. I overcooked it. The air fryer did it. No, no. My rice is a little bit aguau. It's like if you... No, no, no. Like, yo, if you got high blood pressure and.

1:04:13 Clogged arteries and diabetes and all. These things, I'm going to want to think twice about eating your cooking. Yeah. Yeah, I would think twice, too, but I make a bone teriyaki fried chicken. Oh, my goodness. And then, last but not least, last but not least, you can't go around kicking puppies. Oh, no. Let me tell you something. Only one of those. Things was serious, Corleone. Oh, my gosh. If you go around kicking fucking puppies, it's a wrap. We're not, we're not, we're not dealing with this shit.

1:04:54 Yeah. I've seen, I've seen, I've seen, let me tell you something. What if it was an accident? If the, if the, if the dog squeals, it's no fucking accident. What? Sometimes things happen. If the dog goes, I could step. On a cat's tail. Sometimes. Watch where the fuck you're going. And you hear, you hear some screeching happening. Watch where you're going. You kick, you kick puppies, don't like my food and can't communicate. Those are your worst Oh my god. Another red flag is if Curse words come out of your mouth Every other word. What the fuck are you talking about Nope she's saying She's saying I know what she's.

1:05:41 Saying Forget about it. Oh man alright Oh This was fun. All right. So with that being said, Oh, I am. Yeah. Wait, what are people saying? Cause you're just like, Oh, you know, cutting everybody off. Oh yeah. Somebody said something about language. Oh, they're giving it. Yeah. What, what were people's, uh, nobody. Well, they were just, um, the, uh, Monica was talking about, Chemistry and then she said language Yeah Well you.

1:06:24 Know Maybe that's a red flag for her Yeah I don't know why the fuck it bothers fucking people I mean it shouldn't really bother any fucking body But us. I see what you're doing there You see what I'm doing there Yeah Well like I. Said Oh shit Alright so With that being said This is Lady G. This is TG Love. I'm Big Corleone. This has been another episode of This Might Hurt Podcast. Thank you for everybody for showing up. Stay tuned for the next episode. And with that being said, always keep in mind that at some point, this might hurt. Good night, everybody.

1:07:10 Bye. Bye. Bye.