Nov. 25, 2024

Wild N' Out Wednesday (Recorded LIVE On 11-20-24)

Wild N' Out Wednesday (Recorded LIVE On 11-20-24)

You know what we will NOT discuss, that's anything Political or Religious!! This a bullsh*t free zone, BUT if you didn't already know at some point THIS MIGHT HURT!!! Just Sayin.....

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You know what we will NOT discuss, that's anything Political or Religious!! This a bullsh*t free zone, BUT if you didn't already know at some point THIS MIGHT HURT!!! Just Sayin.....

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/this-might-hurt-podcast--3239767/support.

WEBVTT

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A king.

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Here. What's up everybody? This is big holdly of this

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by her podcast, coming to you live from use your imagination.

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I don't know, but and someone watching right now, hit

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up the chat room and let me know if you

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can hear me, because I was having some kind of

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technical difficulties before. So if anyone can let me know

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in the chat room, if you can hear me, I

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would appreciate that. Anybody before we start, I just want

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to make sure I'm heard, all right, all right, cool, midnight.

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Thank you very much. I appreciate it. I really appreciate it.

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Thank you. So it's been a couple of weeks, you know,

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since we've been live. Thank you very much. Thank you, Valerie.

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I appreciate it. It's been a couple of weeks since

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our last show, and and things have happened, you know

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what I'm saying, circumstances beyond Thank you appreciate it. Thank

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you very much. Thanks for checking in, Thanks for letting

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me know I'm heard. Is if I wasn't, if I

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couldn't be heard, then it'd be a problem. So due

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to circumstances beyond my control, we had to take a

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little bit of a break. Not well It wasn't a

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break because we didn't want to be here with you guys.

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It was just that things have happened and we just

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had a maneuver shit around, you know. So with that

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being said, I'm surprised I don't have any of my

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co hosts here yet. But the show must go on,

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you know what I'm saying. So how was everybody? I

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mean we got to call people in the chat room?

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How is everybody's week? Two weeks? How's everybody been? Are

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you guys ready for the holidays? I mean, I'm not

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ready for the holidays, you know what I'm saying. I mean,

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I'm just I'm not. It's not that I'm not ready,

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It's just that I don't know what to expect. You know,

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I have I have a pretty decent sized family. So

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I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna do to

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prep for the holidays. You know what I'm saying. How

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do you prep for your holidays? You know? What is

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it you do to get ready for Thanksgiving? Christmas? New Year's?

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You know? How do you how do you handle your ship?

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You know? I mean, let's let's be real. Not every nothing,

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Not everybody's in a good financial space. You can't. You can't.

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You can't go out there and get everything you want for.

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Everybody want to get you want to get for. You know,

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it's not easy. It's it's it's definitely difficult. You know

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what I'm saying. I mean, I don't know, I got

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I got a lot of a lot of people I

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gotta get for. I gotta buy for. You know what

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I'm saying, Man, Now you hate the holidays? Why do

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you hate the holidays? Why why do you hate the holidays?

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Can you tell me? I mean, if you want you uh,

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you out there doing instacart, trying to make a dollar? Yeah,

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I get it, man. And times are rough. Times are

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real fucking rough. You know what I'm saying. I mean,

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I get it. It's hard. It's not easy. It's definitely

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not easy. You know, move this camera a little bit, yeah,

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I mean times, times are rough. Times are hard. It's

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not easy to make a living out here these days,

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you know what I'm saying. I mean, even if, even

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if you have a nine to five forty hour week job,

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you know what I'm saying, it's tough to make ends meet,

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you know what I mean, It's tough to to to

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satisfy your your needs as as a consumer. You know

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what I'm saying. I mean, it's not it's very difficult,

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you know, and it's it's it's pretty fucked up what's

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going on out there these days. You know what I'm saying,

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what I what I alright, so so so value you

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have a love hate relationship with the holidays, all right?

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And then what what is your love hate relationship with

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the holidays? And what's this right here? It's not easy.

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It's hard when the holidays come around. But I do

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what I have to do for my kids, absolutely, Absolutely.

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You have to do what you gotta do for your

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kids and family, you know. Just don't don't don't don't

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don't take hits. You know what I'm saying. Somebody comes

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to you and says, yo, I need you to to

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to pull off a hit on somebody for this loop

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for the holidays, Don't do it. You know what I'm saying.

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We don't want nobody going to jail, you know what

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I mean. Just be easy and do what you gotta

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do in your own way to do what you gotta

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do for your fan. You know, that's it, you know

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what I'm saying, So so the reason, the reason why,

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Oh I don't know what that that is. Okay, oh

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that's what all right, that's what I wanted. So the

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reason why we weren't around for two weeks, two and

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a half weeks, probably we missed two shows. The reason

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being is that I was ill. You know what I'm saying.

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I had some issues that you know, I had to

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I had to take care of I'm saying my health.

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I was hospitalized, you know what I mean. And I

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really couldn't. I couldn't do a show from the hospital,

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you know what I mean. It would be dope have

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been dope, right, It would have been nice doing the

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show from the hospital. Yeah, live from blah blah blah

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blah blah hospital. You know what I'm saying. This might

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hurt podcast. Yeah, you know what I mean, it would

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have been nice, but you know, I couldn't, Like we

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we couldn't do a show, you know, because of that.

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That was the two weeks ago, and then last week

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pretty much the same thing. I got ill again and

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we had to put it on hold. So I'm glad that,

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you know what I'm saying, We're able to come back,

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you know what I'm saying. And and entertain you guys.

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You know what I'm saying. So I'm doing all right now,

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you know what I mean. I'm I'm doing much much

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much better. You know, shit is under control. Things are

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are good. What I'm saying, things are pretty good. You know,

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I'm not I'm not in or nothing like that, because

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if I was dying or something like that, then who's

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gonna do the show? Who's gonna be here, Who's gonna

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make you guys Laugh's gonna talk shit? Who's gonna say

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ship that you don't expect to be said? I don't know,

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somebody's gotta be here and talk shit.

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Right.

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If it's not gonna be us, who else is it

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gonna be that? That? That's That's just a simple answer.

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And I'm kind of wondering why aren't my co host

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here yet? Well, like I said, show must go on.

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So the bottom right here says official websites Www Dot

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This Might Hurt podcast dot com and www dot The

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Manic Minute. Those are the two websites that you guys

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can go check out to check out the show and

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check out, you know what I'm saying, all our all

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our content and everything you can find at those websites

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and here. What we do here is you have all

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the email addresses of all the individual co hosts. If

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you want to contact us co host specifically, there's their

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email address. If you want to talk to a co

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host specifically, you wanna, you know whatever, hit them up

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and they'll get back to you and without further ado.

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What's this? Let me see? I love the holidays back

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when with kids, with all the nostalgia and good memories,

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but there are moments where bringing back memories that are

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painful and just I just want to shut out. I

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understand completely, Valterie. I know exactly what you mean. You know,

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I mean, it's it's it's not it's not easy, especially

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around the How I'm gonna actually, you know what, I'm

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gonna bring in my co host, Lady g who can

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who can speak on that? Okay, hold on, let me

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bring her in a gleg.

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What's up?

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What's going on?

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Not much?

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Sorry, I'm late, that's all right, that's all right.

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But some heating issues, some what heating issues?

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Heating issues. But you couldn't get into the blanket.

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I didn't have no heat.

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Oh that's not good.

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Yeah, hey, but but it happens when you're a homeowner.

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You gotta deal with the mess. So, yes, I just

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heard about miss Valerie's comment.

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Yeah, let me put it back on the screen. That's

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what it said. That's what it.

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Said back when we were kids. Okay, yeah, So and

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that is that is an interesting comment only because she's

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not the only one who feels that way, right. So

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something that I've actually been helping people deal with lately,

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uh is the idea of past traumas, past pains.

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Uh.

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You know, our our young self, our child, you know,

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our our little child within right, So especially people our

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age corleone, where Christmas was a whole different ball of wax.

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You know, Yeah, Christmas was you know, about christ and

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about family and you know, really about the feelings that

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it brought people. It wasn't so much the commercial the

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commercialized holiday that it is today. And and parents and

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families were you know, poor and couldn't afford, but they

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were all as wonderful. Like I know for a fact

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that you know, I was brought up by a single

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mother and I'm one of seven, so I was brought

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up by a single mother who couldn't afford gifts all

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the time. And actually there were a lot of inner

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city programs that helped her, you know, to provide not

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how doing, how you doing? You know so? And the

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thing about it was, it wasn't what she did or got,

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you know, what she got for us, what she was

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able to provide the truth is she made it a

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big deal and and did little tiny things that made

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it so special, you know. And you know, like I remember,

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we had this little glass nativity and it was tiny.

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We got it at the Berlin Mart down here in

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off Jersey, and uh, she would save that till very last.

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Like we'd put up lights and all this stuff, whatever

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lights we had, but this little glass crystal nativity and nobody,

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like she made it so special, Like nobody was allowed

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to touch it, nobody was allowed to put it up.

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She had to pick one of us every year to

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actually be able to put that up, right, and we

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and they're just little, teeny tiny figurines. We'd put it

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on this wooden table with little lights and grass around

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it and all this stuff, and it just made it

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real special. So it was what she did with us, right,

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And what happens is as we get older, and I

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know I'm a long winded talker.

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One second, just let me bring in doves real quick

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and tell him to hold off on his thoughts.

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Just give me one and you know he's not going to.

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Just give me one second.

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Doves was good.

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So what happens is as we get older, things start

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to happen, right, we start losing people, uh, significant adult

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things start to happen, and then like vow, we you know,

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we get to this place where certain holidays bring up

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bad memories. Right, and unfortunately to say this, but it

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is the reality. No one is going to get out

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of this life without something bad happening on a holiday.

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The key to it is what are we going to

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allow to keep us from these holidays that we enjoyed,

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that made so much sense, that brought a lot of

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love into our lives. Right, So we lose people, bad

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things happen, and then we start to feel like we

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don't want to celebrate that holiday anymore. You know, it

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becomes a depressing time instead of a happy time. Well,

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one of the things is we have to try to

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create new memories with those old people in them. We

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have to bring our past to our present and create

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different memories in order to be able to maintain right.

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So I lost my mom when I was in my

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early twenties, I was barely out of the teenage years.

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So my birthday actually because that's when she you know,

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around the time she died, my birthday every year could

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potentially be a really horrible time in my life because

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I lost one of the most important people. However, I know,

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if you think about that person or you know, whatever,

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do you think they want you to feel that way

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at that time of the year, Right, No, more than

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likely they don't. But we get to we get to

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control how how we see those things. So what I

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started doing, and I actually do it with my girls,

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my daughters now, we bring they call her Aita. So

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00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:16.240
we bring my mother and my sister who passed eight

232
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years ago. We bring them into that celebration, right, whether

233
00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:27.480
it's with a photograph, with a candle, with something that

234
00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:32.559
was theirs, or some picture, some memory, and we make

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them a part of the holiday, just like they were

236
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still here. Because, like a lot of families, I lost

237
00:18:39.079 --> 00:18:41.720
my mom, and all of a sudden you realize she

238
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:43.559
was the glue that kept everybody together.

239
00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:48.599
Always wanted there's always one, there's always one, and and

240
00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:51.359
and with my mom because she loved the holidays, so

241
00:18:51.559 --> 00:18:55.240
much from Halloween all the way through New Year's That

242
00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:58.599
was my mother's Like I'm telling you, that's when she

243
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.240
shined the brightest.

244
00:19:00.519 --> 00:19:03.559
And it wasn't about the things that she gave, It

245
00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:05.599
wasn't about any of that. It was the way she

246
00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:10.039
expressed her feelings her family time. And she was a

247
00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:14.119
single parent, so I know she struggled. I know she struggled,

248
00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:18.039
especially with all of us kids. So it's about how

249
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:22.799
can we change the narrative of the sad, depressing time

250
00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:26.319
or the hurtful time, you know some of you know,

251
00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:29.519
I've been divorced for five years. Holidays are some of

252
00:19:29.559 --> 00:19:33.599
the hardest times for me because they were times that

253
00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:36.759
I made memories. But the thing is, just because one

254
00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:40.559
person is no longer a part of that doesn't mean

255
00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:47.240
that I can't make new memories to create something going

256
00:19:49.319 --> 00:19:52.160
in the future. Yeah, going forward, you know. So it

257
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:56.000
really is about talking, talking about it, communicating about it.

258
00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:59.359
And I'm really getting tired. Like I said, I've been

259
00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:03.440
working with people a lot lately, this whole thing about

260
00:20:04.039 --> 00:20:07.759
when you're not okay, acting like it's all good. No,

261
00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:10.160
I actually wear a T shirt to the gym sometimes

262
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:14.440
it says it's okay to not be okay, and and

263
00:20:14.519 --> 00:20:18.000
some people are like, wow, that's deep. That's because sometimes

264
00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:19.759
I feel like I have to do that. I have

265
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:23.759
to wear my messages on the outside of me so

266
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that people realize it's not just them that feels this way,

267
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you know, because we tend to think that we're the

268
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only ones that feel this way, but we're not. We're not.

269
00:20:35.799 --> 00:20:37.839
There are so many people that feel the same way.

270
00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:40.960
And if we can help each other by knowing that

271
00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:45.559
even a total stranger has difficulty, you know, we have

272
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:50.880
we have gone away. We're just a world of hurt

273
00:20:50.920 --> 00:20:52.000
people hurting each other.

274
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:53.119
You know.

275
00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:55.359
I was talking to one of my coworkers today, you know,

276
00:20:55.400 --> 00:21:00.000
about relationships and stuff. So we're so used to being

277
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.200
ain't hurt that that's what we think is the norm.

278
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:08.000
And although we get mad about people treating us badly,

279
00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:11.160
people lying to us, people doing all these things to us,

280
00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:14.480
the truth is, what would we do if something real

281
00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:20.440
and true and genuine came along? We wouldn't Actually, what's

282
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:22.960
that my hoodie read? Nope? Not today?

283
00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:25.359
All right?

284
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:27.680
Man? No, I don't know what that means, but all right?

285
00:21:30.440 --> 00:21:32.960
Could have been that she forgot she missed a letter

286
00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:35.960
and could have said that her hood he read nope,

287
00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:41.680
not today, because maybe she missed the A in the red.

288
00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:46.599
I have that shirt. I just got that. I just

289
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:52.720
got that. It says nope, not today. Yep, yep Uh.

290
00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:56.039
I actually went to UH last weekend. I took my

291
00:21:56.119 --> 00:22:00.160
daughter to UH Peddler's Village in Pennsylvania, just for like

292
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:03.359
a Christmas thing, and I forgot I even had it on.

293
00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:07.599
But I had on a T shirt that said not perfect,

294
00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:10.920
just forgiven. And my daughter had on her peace, Love

295
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:15.119
and Jesus sweatshirt on, and I guess we didn't realize it.

296
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:17.440
But like, as we were walking there were some people

297
00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:19.720
are like, I love the shirts. I love the shirts,

298
00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:21.559
almost like we planned it that.

299
00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:22.960
Way right, right.

300
00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:27.279
But you really don't know how the little things that

301
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:34.480
you do really can help other people, you know. But again,

302
00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:37.279
because we are a society that is so sick and

303
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:40.240
tired of being sick and tired and so tired of hurting,

304
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:44.960
we just keep on hurting each other, and we keep

305
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.559
on hurting each other and hurting each other, so that

306
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.039
when we do see the true people, whether it's friends,

307
00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:56.079
family relationships, we don't know what to do with that

308
00:22:57.039 --> 00:22:59.160
we don't know how to handle it, We don't know

309
00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:02.720
how to accept it, and sometimes we end up chasing

310
00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:06.480
that good thing away because we didn't know what to

311
00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:08.400
do with it. So it's like, we really do need

312
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:13.880
to get back into this, the idea of bringing all

313
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:18.240
the bad memories, all the pain, all the damage, all

314
00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:21.400
the sadness. We really do need to work on bringing

315
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:23.920
it all to the present day and what do we

316
00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:26.119
want it to look like? What do we want these

317
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:30.519
sad holidays to now look like for us? And put

318
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:33.640
in some work and include other people. It's easier with

319
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:36.720
more than one, you know, like when we do the

320
00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:40.759
show every week, even though you know we've been off

321
00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:43.400
a couple of weeks right now, But when we do

322
00:23:43.480 --> 00:23:46.720
this show every week, it's the four of us coming

323
00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:50.119
together with our four different opinions, are four different thoughts

324
00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:58.400
and really being a team about it. You know, I

325
00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:04.839
was gonna say, except for dou who don't accept nothing, anybody.

326
00:24:04.359 --> 00:24:07.119
Has to say, yeah, I'll tell you this much, you

327
00:24:07.119 --> 00:24:10.599
know what I'm saying, Like this is like totally off topic,

328
00:24:11.960 --> 00:24:16.279
but isn't it always? Christmas? Christmas is like very hurtful

329
00:24:16.279 --> 00:24:19.920
for me because like I never got that on that

330
00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:24.359
transformer set that I asked Santam. So like, when I

331
00:24:24.359 --> 00:24:27.079
see Santa, you know what I'm saying, or anybody resembling him,

332
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:29.319
it's on, yo, You're gonna.

333
00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:31.240
Pay what you Oh, but I got a question, duve,

334
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:34.319
when was the last time you wrote the letter to

335
00:24:34.359 --> 00:24:36.079
Santa asking for that transformer?

336
00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:38.400
I just I just emailed him this week. I'm like,

337
00:24:38.440 --> 00:24:43.440
you bitch, asked nigga. See it's been forty something years. Wrong, Nah, yo,

338
00:24:43.880 --> 00:24:46.079
I just emailed them. I emailed him. I know he

339
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:46.839
got the message.

340
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:51.759
Oh my goodness, because I was gonna say, maybe maybe

341
00:24:52.359 --> 00:24:54.000
for you, maybe it's time for you to write that

342
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:54.640
letter again.

343
00:24:55.480 --> 00:24:58.680
Nah, I emailed him. Now he got to pay. Keep

344
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:02.160
ignoring me, all right, you're getting jacked off your rein.

345
00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:08.440
There's and ship. Take them take Santa sled to Nork

346
00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:09.720
and take it to the chop shop.

347
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:16.640
Stupid. Yeah. So so yeah, it's true because see with

348
00:25:16.759 --> 00:25:21.359
me personally, it was my it was my well, my

349
00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:27.880
grandmother was actually my great grandmother. I never I never

350
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:37.039
met it, dubs your mic the I never met my grandmother.

351
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:39.839
She she passed away before I was born. So my

352
00:25:39.960 --> 00:25:43.000
grand my great grandmother stepped in and she was. She

353
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:46.240
was my grandma. So anyway, my grandma was the one

354
00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:52.079
that held everything together. Thanksgivings, Christmas, New Years was all

355
00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:54.880
at her crib, you know what I'm saying. And it

356
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:59.559
got it got to the point where she passes. And

357
00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:06.359
then my mom held everything together. The party's at her house,

358
00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:09.960
New Year's, Christmas, Thanksgiving, everything was done at her crib.

359
00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:21.720
And then she passes, and now everyone is scattered and

360
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:25.480
I have Now I'm gonna be this is gonna sound,

361
00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:28.599
this is gonna sound really crazy. But when I put

362
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:36.119
my family tree together, Okay, now we're talking of this

363
00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:39.720
is a this is a fucking treat. My great my

364
00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:48.200
great grandmother. In total, if she were still alive, she

365
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:55.319
would have over one hundred and fifteen to twenty grandkids,

366
00:26:56.440 --> 00:26:58.920
over one hundred and fifteen to one hundred and twenty

367
00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:04.240
total from her, her grandkids, two great grandkids, a great

368
00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:07.920
great great grand like the the the my family is

369
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:12.279
so big that if we had, if we had a

370
00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:18.079
family reunion, I'd have I'd have to rent a fucking

371
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:25.960
football field, you know. And it's it's just it's just

372
00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:30.799
that no one, no one, everyone has a choice. Hold

373
00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:33.000
on one second, let me do what it says. I'm

374
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:40.400
gonna talk you read that everyone has a choice or

375
00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:42.880
whether or not they want to communicate with their family

376
00:27:42.920 --> 00:27:49.119
members or whatnot. You know what I'm saying. And it's

377
00:27:49.160 --> 00:27:55.599
about PS five or New Jordan's or what do you

378
00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:56.160
say to that?

379
00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:00.920
First off? You know what I'm saying, like like you know,

380
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:04.799
like from a business aspect, what you think Black Friday

381
00:28:04.839 --> 00:28:07.759
is for? You know, like like you know what I'm saying,

382
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:11.000
like like everything's right, it is commercialized because you know,

383
00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:14.559
before we used to be thankful about Thanksgiving and whatever.

384
00:28:15.160 --> 00:28:16.720
You know what I'm saying. Now it's like you know,

385
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:20.200
like you gather family, eat, then you run the Target

386
00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:23.079
or run the Walmart and you wait in line. You

387
00:28:23.119 --> 00:28:25.160
know what I'm saying. Just for the big and the

388
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:27.960
funny and the funny thing yo, yo yo. The funny

389
00:28:27.960 --> 00:28:29.880
thing about it is that these assholes thinking that they're

390
00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:32.000
getting a deal, right, you know what I'm saying, Like

391
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:34.039
for example, like let's just say, you know, a TV

392
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:36.440
costs You know what I'm saying, Like eighty five inch

393
00:28:36.519 --> 00:28:40.519
screen TV costs three ninety nine for example, right, you know,

394
00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:43.839
like that's the sale price they're gonna go get it,

395
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:45.359
and they're gonna be like, yeah, I came up on

396
00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:48.160
a deal. No you didn't. That's the actual price. It's

397
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:50.720
just that the store knocked off their tax price from me.

398
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:52.880
You know what I'm saying from it being like four

399
00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:55.000
fifty to three ninety nine, Like you're thinking you're getting

400
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:57.079
a deal, right, in all reality, you're not.

401
00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:00.960
Yeah, and so it's a.

402
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:06.480
But look, guys, that that very question right there. One

403
00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:10.759
of the reasons it's turned into this commercialized holiday is

404
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:14.799
because we have allowed that. We are the ones that

405
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:19.960
are participating in that. When we change how we celebrate

406
00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:24.160
these holidays and then other people start to buy into that,

407
00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:28.759
get back to basis, then we can start seeing a

408
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:32.839
different change. The reason why these stores are starting their

409
00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:36.519
sales and doing all this stuff earlier and earlier every

410
00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:41.519
year is because we're the ones playing into it. So

411
00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:44.720
we're the ones that have to make those choices and

412
00:29:44.759 --> 00:29:48.960
those decisions that that's not how we're spending our holiday,

413
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:53.559
right and the thing that's Valentine's Day included.

414
00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:59.200
Oh yeah, yeah, and VAL's Valentine's Day is a woman's holiday.

415
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:05.680
No it's not. No, it's not. Is this it is?

416
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:08.519
Meanwhile, you know what I'm saying, the mental holiday is

417
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:15.359
Super Bowl Sunday. See Valentine's Day gifts and all that stuff. Yeah,

418
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:18.000
you know, wait, you celebrating the kitchen. You know what

419
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:20.720
I'm saying. I'm in the living room watching football, Thank

420
00:30:20.759 --> 00:30:22.920
you very much. Super Bowl Sunday.

421
00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:26.359
Oh man, so so conversations.

422
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:33.319
So so Like I was, like I was saying, you

423
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:39.079
have you have you have the choice to actually connect

424
00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:41.319
with family. You know what I'm saying, It's up to you.

425
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:47.759
So to me, growing up, I I loved I loved

426
00:30:47.960 --> 00:30:50.400
the holidays. You know what I'm saying. I couldn't wait.

427
00:30:51.480 --> 00:30:55.400
It snowed a lot more. We played football on Thanksgiving morning,

428
00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:01.240
the Turkey Bowl exactly. And then we would we would

429
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:05.279
do we would do so many things together, we would

430
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:08.119
and then and then you had the god Zilla Marathon

431
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:12.559
on Channel five Thursday afternoons, March of the Wooden Soldiers.

432
00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:15.880
You know what I'm saying. I mean, there were so many.

433
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:20.680
Things actually together actually actually you know what it was like, Yo,

434
00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:22.559
it cut off right to football after that, Like you

435
00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:24.000
know what I'm saying, Like after we came home from

436
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:27.480
playing football, we showered up, you know, set out prayer,

437
00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:30.640
you know what I'm saying, watch football, Sit with your

438
00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:32.039
little you know what I'm saying, Sit with the deals

439
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:34.279
in the living room while they're drinking their beer yelling

440
00:31:34.319 --> 00:31:37.279
at the TV. You see what I mean. Like, but

441
00:31:37.319 --> 00:31:39.039
like those are memories that you know what I'm saying,

442
00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:40.799
Like you know what I'm saying, Like that was there,

443
00:31:40.839 --> 00:31:44.599
you know what I mean. Like now it's like it's

444
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.880
just you know what I'm saying, Like it's whatever, man,

445
00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:49.440
you know, like whatever.

446
00:31:50.279 --> 00:31:58.640
Yeah. So yeah, so I did. We we did. We

447
00:31:58.640 --> 00:32:00.920
did a lot a lot of shit. My mother, my mother,

448
00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:04.519
she was, she was She wasn't a single mom. She

449
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:08.400
had my sister's dad, but she was. It was pretty

450
00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:11.839
much she was a single mother. So she did everything

451
00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:15.680
she could possibly do to make the holidays good for

452
00:32:15.880 --> 00:32:19.480
my sister and I. She worked at a toy store

453
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:23.759
purposely so she can get us all the newer stuff.

454
00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:26.920
And you know, she she didn't come home with with

455
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:29.759
with with with with a paycheck, because everything went towards

456
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:33.680
getting the gifts and stuff and everything and making sure

457
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:37.279
we you know, we we wrote our lists out and

458
00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:40.759
this is this is what you know it was. It was.

459
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:44.880
It was a lot and and I look I look back,

460
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:51.440
and sometimes you want you want to give your kids

461
00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:54.599
those kinds of memories, you know what I'm saying, Like

462
00:32:54.599 --> 00:33:00.720
their memories I have that I'll never ever ever forget,

463
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:03.119
Like they were things that I've gotten as gifts that

464
00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:05.839
I never thought I would have, you know what I'm saying,

465
00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:09.359
And and and and as a kid in the eighties,

466
00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:14.240
I'm sure my age, that's all this ship right here. Anyway,

467
00:33:14.359 --> 00:33:16.599
As a kid in the eighties, you know what I'm saying,

468
00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:18.920
what was the biggest thing back then? The fucking Nintendo.

469
00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:22.400
You know what I'm saying. I got Nintendo, I got

470
00:33:22.519 --> 00:33:26.759
Duck Hunt, I got Zelda. I sat at home and

471
00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:29.640
didn't leave the house. My friends would come over and

472
00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:32.680
we'd play all fucking day, you know what I'm saying.

473
00:33:32.799 --> 00:33:36.079
And and it was it was such a special time.

474
00:33:36.119 --> 00:33:38.720
It was such a great time, you know what I'm saying.

475
00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:43.799
It's just hard because as you get older, you want

476
00:33:43.839 --> 00:33:49.079
your kids to to feel what you felt, you know

477
00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:53.000
what I mean. And then as as as they get older,

478
00:33:53.039 --> 00:33:55.359
you want them to share those, you know, build new

479
00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:58.960
memories with their children, you know what I mean. So

480
00:33:59.279 --> 00:34:03.079
I look back and I look at my kids and

481
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:07.200
I'm like, sometimes I get I get emotional because I

482
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:12.159
don't know how to feel personally. Sometimes nowadays, I don't

483
00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:17.599
know how to feel about the holidays because I'm I'm

484
00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:22.360
one of those. I'm one of them dudes. Like I

485
00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:26.480
feel I feel like I want to have everyone together,

486
00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:29.119
you know what I mean, Like I want to bring

487
00:34:29.159 --> 00:34:33.360
everyone together. My kids are scattered, and I'm trying my

488
00:34:33.480 --> 00:34:37.000
best this year to try and bring everyone back together.

489
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:39.920
And if I can do that, I would I would

490
00:34:39.960 --> 00:34:46.400
appreciate greatly if I if I can get something like

491
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:49.519
that done. You know, I'm not I'm not getting younger.

492
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:56.320
It's just that my my oldest daughter, she's she's having

493
00:34:56.320 --> 00:35:00.239
another baby. So I'm yeah, she's having a boys. She's

494
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:04.880
doing January and and I'm talking. And if she's listening,

495
00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:08.239
uh and and and and and let me tell you something.

496
00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:11.360
If you're listening, and I know you're watching, you're one

497
00:35:11.400 --> 00:35:14.360
of those people that are in that are watching Mark

498
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:18.639
my words, Mark, And I'm gonna say it now and

499
00:35:18.679 --> 00:35:25.000
it's gonna happen. Your son will not, I repeat, will

500
00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:30.480
not be a Giants fan. Just your son will not

501
00:35:30.519 --> 00:35:33.599
be a Giants fan. I will raise that kid to

502
00:35:33.639 --> 00:35:38.280
be a Washington fan. Everything I don't say, don't send me.

503
00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:41.559
Don't send me a list because I'm not gonna check

504
00:35:41.599 --> 00:35:46.280
it twice. Anything that has to do with football will

505
00:35:46.280 --> 00:35:54.239
be Washington. If you will not, you will be a

506
00:35:54.280 --> 00:35:56.639
Giant fan. Mark my word.

507
00:35:57.239 --> 00:36:00.280
She's gonna send your text and get them Lawrence Taylor jersey.

508
00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:02.360
All you're gonna see is tailor. You're gonna bring them

509
00:36:02.360 --> 00:36:03.840
with Sean Taylor's jersey.

510
00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:09.400
Sean Taylor Jack whoopsies who also with tailor?

511
00:36:09.400 --> 00:36:11.639
And I thought about Sean. That's the only Tailor I know.

512
00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:16.719
Yep, So mark my words. Anyway, So I want to

513
00:36:16.760 --> 00:36:21.599
try and get everybody together, and because sometimes I get emotional,

514
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:24.039
like I sit down and I think about it, and

515
00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:28.480
it's like, damn, you know, I gotta I gotta bring

516
00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:30.559
I gotta bring the family together. If nobody else is

517
00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:33.639
gonna do it, I gotta do it, you know. And

518
00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:38.280
I want to. I want to have everyone together. It

519
00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:41.880
would mean a whole ship load to me if I

520
00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:43.199
can get everybody together.

521
00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:47.800
And you know, so you know what, around this time,

522
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:50.239
I'm like a Grench show, Like I'm like, you know

523
00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:55.679
what I'm saying, Like yo, whatever with this holidays. Man, whatever,

524
00:36:56.079 --> 00:36:56.800
But what is.

525
00:36:56.760 --> 00:37:01.559
It that causes you to be so grinchy? Like I

526
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:08.840
don't understand control?

527
00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:11.639
Yo? You know what, it lost its luster, man, became

528
00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:13.639
all about vanity. You know what I mean?

529
00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:15.320
Allowed it?

530
00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:18.679
I allowed it first off? First off, wait, wait, wait, wait,

531
00:37:18.800 --> 00:37:21.800
I allowed shipping. You know what I'm saying. I'm just

532
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:24.840
I'm just looking around them. I'm just like observing them,

533
00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:26.639
like I'm like, yo, you know what, that's what you're

534
00:37:26.639 --> 00:37:29.760
thankful for that you bought the TV had targets like

535
00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:30.280
right after.

536
00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:33.960
But you don't have to buy into that.

537
00:37:33.960 --> 00:37:37.679
That's other you know what by humble leave me alone?

538
00:37:38.679 --> 00:37:42.639
Yeah? All right, So I'm a firm believer that just

539
00:37:42.679 --> 00:37:44.519
because it kind of says twelve twenty five, does I

540
00:37:44.559 --> 00:37:46.440
mean you have to do your family gathering on that day?

541
00:37:47.079 --> 00:37:49.679
You can make your own day with your family. Yeah,

542
00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:55.119
that's after. You're absolutely right. You are absolutely right, And

543
00:37:56.960 --> 00:38:02.719
you know, yeah, Festivus exactly of us. Yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll,

544
00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:09.480
we'll start off with the feats of strength, happy festivals. Yeah. Now,

545
00:38:09.480 --> 00:38:13.000
but on the real I mean, it's it's it's true.

546
00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:15.440
I mean, it doesn't have to be Christmas doesn't have

547
00:38:15.519 --> 00:38:18.119
to be Thanksgiving, doesn't have to be what it could be.

548
00:38:18.159 --> 00:38:20.840
It could be Monday afternoon at four o'clock. As long

549
00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:23.960
as it's before Monday night football, it's all good. But

550
00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:25.760
it could be any day of the week. But I'm

551
00:38:25.800 --> 00:38:28.360
just saying, like you're on the holidays, you know, you

552
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:34.239
you look at it as as a special time. Not

553
00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:36.039
that any day is in a special day to hang

554
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:38.360
out with your kids and your grandkids. But but what

555
00:38:38.400 --> 00:38:42.559
I'm saying is there are times throughout the year that

556
00:38:42.679 --> 00:38:45.400
you want to spend extra time with them and do

557
00:38:45.559 --> 00:38:51.280
more things with them, you know. So that's just I

558
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:54.360
don't know, that's just how I feel. M you know,

559
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:58.239
I mean, I'm getting I'm getting to I'm getting to

560
00:38:58.280 --> 00:39:01.639
a point where it's like I'm I'm I'm I'm worried

561
00:39:01.639 --> 00:39:05.079
about a lot of things. You know, Actually I worry

562
00:39:05.079 --> 00:39:05.800
about a lot of shit.

563
00:39:06.559 --> 00:39:10.000
Yeah, your mortality is coming into question, you know.

564
00:39:09.960 --> 00:39:14.199
What I'm saying. And it's I used to say to myself.

565
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:18.719
I used to say to myself. No, no, not not

566
00:39:18.719 --> 00:39:22.119
not not that. I used to say to myself, I'm

567
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:28.599
fucking immortal to God says so. And you know, I

568
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:30.880
get up in the morning and it's like ouch ooch.

569
00:39:31.239 --> 00:39:33.840
You know what I'm saying, Like, oh damn, I don't

570
00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:36.760
want to get up, you know what I mean? Sometimes

571
00:39:36.840 --> 00:39:37.079
I can.

572
00:39:38.480 --> 00:39:41.239
Yeah, I mean the only reason why you're out in

573
00:39:41.280 --> 00:39:42.639
the UTA is because you know what I'm saying of

574
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:44.960
the doggy style entry yourself in a couple of weeks ago,

575
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:47.000
I told you, man, you can't be doing them things.

576
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:49.280
You know what I'm saying, Yo, I told you what

577
00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:51.719
I told you. Take that your only fans page, Kink

578
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:54.960
Schlong is out of service. All right. I can't be

579
00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:57.440
doing them things no more, bro, you know what I mean?

580
00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:03.440
La lady G. Yeah, hold on, see something.

581
00:40:03.159 --> 00:40:07.119
Happened sham pair of WiFi Bill.

582
00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:09.599
Lady G.

583
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:10.719
I'm here.

584
00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:14.239
Yeah, but there's two there's two screws, all right, one

585
00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:18.199
just left right. You had two screens up, okay, yeah,

586
00:40:18.519 --> 00:40:23.920
popped up? Yeah yeah, there was four. There was four

587
00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:26.679
in the room, and two of them were your icons.

588
00:40:26.760 --> 00:40:28.039
I don't know how that happened.

589
00:40:28.679 --> 00:40:34.599
I know how it happened, like WI fun.

590
00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:43.599
Yeah, so but but really, that that's you know, that's

591
00:40:43.639 --> 00:40:46.400
that's what I think. I mean. I just I just

592
00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:50.599
wanted to I just want the holidays to to be

593
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:53.840
I you know what I mean. I want I want

594
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:55.960
my mind. I want all the kids to be together.

595
00:40:56.039 --> 00:40:57.920
I want I want all that ship.

596
00:40:59.400 --> 00:41:02.920
You know, every day should be a holiday. You wake up,

597
00:41:03.360 --> 00:41:05.199
I'm saying, maybe you wake up. I'm saying, there, it

598
00:41:05.360 --> 00:41:06.519
is a holiday right there.

599
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:16.840
Yeah, so, I mean I don't know. Yeah, so anyway,

600
00:41:18.639 --> 00:41:23.559
let's so, lady, how is how was your your your vacation?

601
00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:25.760
You're two weeks off from the show. How did you

602
00:41:25.840 --> 00:41:28.239
how did you spend it? How did you are you?

603
00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:28.800
Everything?

604
00:41:28.840 --> 00:41:29.039
Good?

605
00:41:29.239 --> 00:41:33.159
Big roller coaster? Well I got a promotion.

606
00:41:34.239 --> 00:41:36.559
Nice congratulations.

607
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:38.639
Yeah so that was good.

608
00:41:39.320 --> 00:41:41.199
So now now you're holding the baby oil.

609
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:50.800
Wow. No, Now I'm not going to be homeless when

610
00:41:50.800 --> 00:42:00.519
my alimony stops.

611
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:05.199
That's good, congratulations, Thanks.

612
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:08.719
I earned it. I worked hard, I worked hard for it.

613
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:15.719
It's it's been a roller coaster ride, you know, because

614
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:21.960
life LIFs and uh so, it's been good. Had some

615
00:42:22.039 --> 00:42:26.880
bad things, you know, But the type of person I am,

616
00:42:27.280 --> 00:42:30.320
you know, I don't allow those things to steal my

617
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:33.239
joy because the truth of the matter is, I know

618
00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:36.599
who I am, I know my value, my worth, I

619
00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:40.159
know what I have to offer people and this world.

620
00:42:41.039 --> 00:42:47.079
Uh So I'm not worried. I'm not worried because at

621
00:42:47.119 --> 00:42:51.960
the end of the day, I know what's coming for me.

622
00:42:52.559 --> 00:42:57.239
So so I don't worry. I don't worry, you know.

623
00:42:59.159 --> 00:43:02.440
So all right, So let me ask you a question. Yeah,

624
00:43:02.519 --> 00:43:05.360
we know, we know that. You know you're into into

625
00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:07.480
the church and stuff, and I'm.

626
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:10.719
Into the church.

627
00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:13.039
No, you know what I mean.

628
00:43:13.119 --> 00:43:17.239
Like you, I am a very faithful person. I yes,

629
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:23.239
I very much believe in God and I have seen things,

630
00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:25.039
seen things in my life, you know.

631
00:43:25.559 --> 00:43:27.519
All right, so check this out. This is my question

632
00:43:27.599 --> 00:43:32.119
to you. Yeah, hold on, this is for you.

633
00:43:35.679 --> 00:43:40.000
Oh, thank you, midnight. I appreciate that.

634
00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:46.360
So do you do you feel or think that people

635
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:51.559
who are afraid to die are not living their lives

636
00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:59.760
properly or do you think that people who are with

637
00:44:01.199 --> 00:44:06.679
with God and living that type of life aren't afraid

638
00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:09.960
to die because they have God on their side. Now,

639
00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:13.079
this isn't This is just a quick religious thing just

640
00:44:13.079 --> 00:44:14.760
because you know, we don't talk religion. But I just

641
00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:17.920
wanted to know your quick quick your quick thought on

642
00:44:17.960 --> 00:44:20.800
that because I I I heard I heard a dude

643
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:26.639
say that in a tract, actually that people who are

644
00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:31.159
who aren't right with their lives are afraid to die,

645
00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:32.719
and people who are.

646
00:44:34.480 --> 00:44:36.239
Aren't right.

647
00:44:36.920 --> 00:44:39.360
Well, on the on the face of that, I would

648
00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:44.079
say I agree, but there's more to that. I don't

649
00:44:44.199 --> 00:44:49.039
know that. It's that they're they're not living their right lives.

650
00:44:49.199 --> 00:44:54.280
It's they have nothing to be connected to, you know.

651
00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:57.559
So it's like people who who don't have and it's

652
00:44:57.559 --> 00:45:00.719
not even just knowing God, it's having an actual relationship

653
00:45:00.760 --> 00:45:03.960
with him. So it's like people who don't know him,

654
00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:06.480
don't talk about him, don't live for him, you know,

655
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:10.000
all those things. They have a fear of dying because

656
00:45:10.519 --> 00:45:14.960
that knowledge of not knowing that, not having knowledge of

657
00:45:15.079 --> 00:45:18.280
what comes next. Where the people who actually have a

658
00:45:18.360 --> 00:45:23.000
relationship with God or religion or their belief system, right,

659
00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:28.679
they have a promise, right, And in every religion there's

660
00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:33.599
still what we call faith, and faith is knowing that

661
00:45:33.800 --> 00:45:38.559
which we cannot see, trusting, you know, trusting in the

662
00:45:38.599 --> 00:45:40.719
things we can see. So for the most part, I

663
00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:44.679
do agree with that, but it's more of a heart

664
00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:49.199
and mind thing and not necessarily a knowledge thing. Okay,

665
00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:53.679
So when you don't have anything you know to look

666
00:45:53.719 --> 00:45:59.159
forward to, when you don't, when you don't know, it's

667
00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:04.800
scary and that's with everything, not just dying, because I'm sorry,

668
00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:07.039
even the people out in the street who talk about

669
00:46:07.079 --> 00:46:11.199
they're not afraid to die, that's a lie. I mean,

670
00:46:11.280 --> 00:46:14.320
on the face, they might not be afraid because that's

671
00:46:14.400 --> 00:46:19.639
what they've adopted, Like they've they've accepted that dying is

672
00:46:19.679 --> 00:46:23.119
a consequence of the life that they live. So yeah,

673
00:46:23.159 --> 00:46:25.559
they might not be afraid, but if they were to

674
00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:28.960
sit and really think about it, they'd probably be scared

675
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:33.440
out of there. But Jesus, because they have no idea

676
00:46:33.480 --> 00:46:37.239
what happens after that, right, you know?

677
00:46:40.480 --> 00:46:43.280
All right, I just don't We don't talk religion here.

678
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:45.679
I just wanted it was just a quick, quick.

679
00:46:45.719 --> 00:46:48.480
Well I mean, I mean, you know what I'm saying,

680
00:46:48.800 --> 00:46:51.079
Like you said, the double down on it, you know.

681
00:46:51.119 --> 00:46:51.280
Like.

682
00:46:52.920 --> 00:46:55.679
The faith part is like what people what carries like

683
00:46:56.280 --> 00:46:58.639
a lot of people over you see what I mean,

684
00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:06.440
Because like it's like you know that that that trust

685
00:47:06.440 --> 00:47:08.239
tests where like you know, like trust me. You know

686
00:47:08.239 --> 00:47:10.199
what I'm saying, standards that trust me to form gonna

687
00:47:10.199 --> 00:47:14.480
catch you. You know what I'm saying. You take that, Yeah,

688
00:47:14.519 --> 00:47:17.639
you know what I'm saying. And not only that, you

689
00:47:17.639 --> 00:47:19.920
know what I'm saying, Like like you know, the Bible

690
00:47:20.039 --> 00:47:24.039
means basic constructures before leaving Earth. You know what I'm saying.

691
00:47:24.079 --> 00:47:26.480
So it's like follow you know what I'm saying, foul

692
00:47:26.519 --> 00:47:30.760
the rules from Genesis to Revelations. You know what I'm saying, Like,

693
00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:35.760
it'll be all right. But what makes it hard is

694
00:47:36.519 --> 00:47:38.960
that God gave us free will. You know what I'm saying.

695
00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:42.280
What makes it hard is that God made this planet.

696
00:47:42.760 --> 00:47:47.119
But the double runs for a time being. That's what

697
00:47:47.239 --> 00:47:49.880
makes everything so hard. That's why things are the way

698
00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:51.840
they are now, you.

699
00:47:51.800 --> 00:47:55.159
Know, because like and and I get it.

700
00:47:56.239 --> 00:47:59.400
So so it's so you know what I'm saying at

701
00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:00.559
the end of the day. You know what I'm saying,

702
00:48:00.599 --> 00:48:03.159
like like like yo, you know what I used to

703
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:05.320
say before. It's like, I ain't afraid to die. I'm

704
00:48:05.360 --> 00:48:07.679
afraid to end up. I'm afraid that I would end up.

705
00:48:07.840 --> 00:48:09.000
You know what I'm saying, Well, I would end up

706
00:48:09.039 --> 00:48:13.400
after because you know what, and because yes, I go

707
00:48:13.480 --> 00:48:15.360
to trust. You know what I'm saying, believe it or not,

708
00:48:15.960 --> 00:48:19.039
because you know what, after this life is done. You

709
00:48:19.039 --> 00:48:21.159
know what I'm saying. Your body dies, so your soul

710
00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:24.079
this forever. You know what I'm saying, where do you

711
00:48:24.119 --> 00:48:26.719
go from here? Is depends on what you do on

712
00:48:26.760 --> 00:48:29.239
this planet, you know what I'm saying. It depends like

713
00:48:29.239 --> 00:48:31.760
if you follow you know what I'm saying, follow the

714
00:48:31.800 --> 00:48:35.360
steps of righteousness or straight away like most of the

715
00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:36.159
population does.

716
00:48:37.000 --> 00:48:40.639
Yeah, yeah, I understand. I know.

717
00:48:40.360 --> 00:48:42.960
I don't know if it's about not living your life

718
00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:46.360
right though, Like I don't know that that's that's what

719
00:48:46.480 --> 00:48:49.960
causes people fear, because like when I was young, oh

720
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:52.599
my goodness, if you even said the word die around me,

721
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:56.679
I would flip out, like and I don't know why

722
00:48:56.880 --> 00:49:01.719
I was so afraid, Like I was fifteen years old,

723
00:49:01.800 --> 00:49:06.760
screaming and hollering because somebody would say the word die

724
00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:09.000
in front of me. And I just don't know what

725
00:49:09.039 --> 00:49:12.239
it was. I think it was just not knowing what

726
00:49:12.440 --> 00:49:14.760
happens after or.

727
00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:18.480
You know, what to put up to put it, to

728
00:49:18.480 --> 00:49:19.519
put it, you know what I'm saying, to put it

729
00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:21.920
in such a game, saying perspective where they at three

730
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:26.320
sixties or whatever, we're living to die. Yeah, well yeah,

731
00:49:26.719 --> 00:49:29.800
my bad, we're living to die right now, Like we're living,

732
00:49:29.840 --> 00:49:32.239
but we're gonna die. We're living to die. I Meanwhile,

733
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:35.559
there's people in the hospital is dying to live. You

734
00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:39.079
know what I'm saying, Like it's it's like morbid, but

735
00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:43.920
it's beautifully morbid, you know what I'm saying. Because it's

736
00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:49.519
a cycle of life. You know now what it's so

737
00:49:49.599 --> 00:49:51.360
you know what I'm saying. What you do on this earth,

738
00:49:52.360 --> 00:49:53.800
you know what I'm saying, It's part of it, you

739
00:49:53.800 --> 00:49:56.199
know what I mean? Like like you know, like I'm

740
00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:58.800
like seriously, I'm trying to get my soul right. Like

741
00:49:58.840 --> 00:50:00.960
I'm seriously, like you know, I'm a joke around blah

742
00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:03.280
blah blah, but you know those are no no, Like

743
00:50:03.320 --> 00:50:05.679
I'm really trying to get my soul right, you know

744
00:50:05.800 --> 00:50:08.920
because like like you know, like you ain't gonta believe

745
00:50:08.920 --> 00:50:11.840
in the supernatural stuff or whatever, but it's out there,

746
00:50:12.719 --> 00:50:15.639
you know, Like it's you know what I'm saying, it's

747
00:50:16.079 --> 00:50:18.400
it's there whether you believe it or not. You know,

748
00:50:18.519 --> 00:50:24.639
like it there is there, It exists. That's the reason

749
00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:26.800
why I like, you know, like I said, I'm just

750
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:28.360
trying to get my soul correct.

751
00:50:28.840 --> 00:50:31.239
All right, So check this shit out now that you're

752
00:50:31.239 --> 00:50:35.840
trying to get your soul correct. Now you notice, I

753
00:50:35.960 --> 00:50:44.239
know I we have a ton of new viewers, right, Okay,

754
00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:46.360
I can tell from over here on this side. I

755
00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:47.760
don't know. I y'all can see it, but I can

756
00:50:47.800 --> 00:50:50.199
see it. We got a ton of new viewers, right.

757
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:54.440
So for the new viewers that are out there, I

758
00:50:54.559 --> 00:50:55.000
want you.

759
00:50:56.400 --> 00:51:01.239
I'm going to stop your explained just like, yeah, I

760
00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:03.159
just joke y'all. Y'all come here and joke around, like,

761
00:51:03.239 --> 00:51:04.480
don't even take me serious? What's up?

762
00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:11.760
Reintroduce yourself to everybody. Do it in your own way.

763
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:14.960
Doves are don a k a Simon Phoenix murder that

764
00:51:15.159 --> 00:51:20.039
killed Yeah, you know what I'm saying. AKA that was playing.

765
00:51:20.480 --> 00:51:22.840
Tell tell the fans about you. Tell the fans about

766
00:51:22.880 --> 00:51:25.079
Dubs like you introduce your people.

767
00:51:25.960 --> 00:51:29.360
Duves a don I like my pet poodle. I like long,

768
00:51:29.480 --> 00:51:32.719
like to un appear under the moonlight. I like stroking

769
00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:38.280
my own nipple, you know, because I lacked it sometimes milk.

770
00:51:38.840 --> 00:51:42.000
But I'm old now, so the milk's gone bad, you know,

771
00:51:42.119 --> 00:51:43.760
like it used to be milk and I was powder.

772
00:51:46.079 --> 00:51:46.800
I like cooking.

773
00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:48.360
Why did I even do this?

774
00:51:49.119 --> 00:51:58.039
I don't know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, now, Dubbs, the don

775
00:51:58.199 --> 00:52:01.760
you know, I ain't gonna I will disclose my age, ok,

776
00:52:02.599 --> 00:52:04.880
Jersey I'll disclosed.

777
00:52:04.480 --> 00:52:09.800
That I'm here, you know, like those are no, those

778
00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:13.360
are know we know, you know, you know what I'm saying.

779
00:52:13.920 --> 00:52:18.079
I'm very cynical, you know, because life itself is cynical.

780
00:52:18.239 --> 00:52:21.480
Life itself is a tragic comedy, and we all got

781
00:52:21.559 --> 00:52:22.039
to laugh at it.

782
00:52:24.840 --> 00:52:29.559
Okay, okay, And and you.

783
00:52:29.559 --> 00:52:31.119
Know what I'm saying. And I'll tea and I tea

784
00:52:31.199 --> 00:52:32.440
bag pigeons, all right?

785
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:44.119
Next, yeah, yeah, bag pigeon. I don't know, My god,

786
00:52:44.880 --> 00:52:49.360
I don't know, Lady G.

787
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:51.679
Follow up with that.

788
00:52:52.760 --> 00:52:55.639
I don't know if I can. All right, So I'm

789
00:52:55.760 --> 00:53:03.360
Lady G. Sometimes called the Lavotra. Uh yeah. I am

790
00:53:03.480 --> 00:53:07.920
originally from South America. Grew up in Camden, New Jersey,

791
00:53:08.039 --> 00:53:09.119
and Miami, Florida.

792
00:53:09.960 --> 00:53:11.159
Oh what part of Miami? Hold up?

793
00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:13.119
Miami Beach.

794
00:53:14.559 --> 00:53:16.440
Oh, so you went to high school Miami Beach.

795
00:53:18.039 --> 00:53:20.000
No, high school, I went here in Camden. I went

796
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:21.480
to elementary school in Miami Beach.

797
00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:26.000
Oh. I was about to say, because like I went

798
00:53:26.079 --> 00:53:27.800
to you know what I'm saying, Like I went to

799
00:53:27.880 --> 00:53:32.960
high school in Dade County as well. Oh, versus Miami

800
00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:37.280
Miami Senior. You know, the high and then like you know,

801
00:53:37.400 --> 00:53:41.039
like we moved down to Homestead and like I went

802
00:53:41.079 --> 00:53:43.360
to Homestead High and Yo, you know what one thing

803
00:53:43.440 --> 00:53:44.920
about you know what I'm saying, like not mind you,

804
00:53:45.039 --> 00:53:47.719
this is the nineties, right, one thing about Miami.

805
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:50.880
Music is right, you know what I'm saying.

806
00:53:51.960 --> 00:53:54.079
Yeah, yoh, I did that shit on purpose? Go ahead,

807
00:53:54.360 --> 00:53:55.639
No you didn't know you didn't?

808
00:53:55.719 --> 00:53:58.360
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think you took your medicine.

809
00:54:00.039 --> 00:54:03.119
I actually actually did, actually did. I'm just like, you

810
00:54:03.119 --> 00:54:05.480
know what I'm saying. I'm just in abug that moved today.

811
00:54:05.519 --> 00:54:09.360
Like I just want to like, you know, yeah, I

812
00:54:09.639 --> 00:54:15.639
am a divorced mother of two daughters. I have a granddaughter.

813
00:54:17.079 --> 00:54:20.639
As I've discussed on the show, I was a marriage

814
00:54:20.679 --> 00:54:24.960
and family therapist for about twenty years. I don't usually

815
00:54:25.079 --> 00:54:27.719
come on camera. I guess some people are curious about that.

816
00:54:28.360 --> 00:54:29.559
I never come on camera.

817
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:32.519
You don't have to explain why.

818
00:54:32.760 --> 00:54:37.199
But no, no, yeah, but you know, I'm here, I'm present.

819
00:54:37.639 --> 00:54:37.800
You know.

820
00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:41.760
It's just it's not something I can do. And uh,

821
00:54:43.840 --> 00:54:48.960
I guess a lot of people would call it boring.

822
00:54:49.239 --> 00:54:52.320
I don't find it boring. Uh, But I guess I

823
00:54:52.519 --> 00:54:56.199
tend to be more serious than the rest of the group.

824
00:54:57.119 --> 00:54:59.880
But I'm more the philosophical one. I'm the one who

825
00:55:00.239 --> 00:55:05.559
puts things into perspective, you know, kind of gets to

826
00:55:05.679 --> 00:55:07.119
the deeper meaning of things.

827
00:55:08.039 --> 00:55:08.199
You know.

828
00:55:08.639 --> 00:55:12.800
Sometimes I'm needed, sometimes I'm not, but I'm always here.

829
00:55:14.840 --> 00:55:15.760
What else? What else?

830
00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:18.840
What was that you always needed? Lady?

831
00:55:20.599 --> 00:55:23.360
I'm like a blanket. I don't I don't say much,

832
00:55:23.400 --> 00:55:25.360
I don't do much. But if you turn around to

833
00:55:25.360 --> 00:55:26.480
grab me, I'm right there.

834
00:55:32.880 --> 00:55:34.719
Yo. You know what I wish we had like one

835
00:55:34.760 --> 00:55:38.000
of those like those like soundtracks where you can just

836
00:55:38.079 --> 00:55:39.159
put ah.

837
00:55:44.559 --> 00:55:49.679
Yeah, I'm getting I'm a big hearted one here and yeah,

838
00:55:50.920 --> 00:55:55.079
every everything it's about emotions and love, you know.

839
00:55:56.079 --> 00:55:59.000
And I'm the I'm the I'm the total opposite to

840
00:55:59.079 --> 00:56:01.599
be honest, like you know, like.

841
00:56:03.079 --> 00:56:04.559
Hate relationship. I love to hate him.

842
00:56:04.639 --> 00:56:08.719
Yeah, you know what, I've come to realize, you need me? No,

843
00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:11.880
I know, yes, you do. You know what I'm saying.

844
00:56:12.280 --> 00:56:14.519
You're the reason why people like me exist.

845
00:56:16.559 --> 00:56:18.639
Good, you know what I'm saying. So so therefore you

846
00:56:18.800 --> 00:56:21.440
need me because you just said it. You're the reason

847
00:56:21.480 --> 00:56:25.760
why people like me exist, and I'm the reason why

848
00:56:25.840 --> 00:56:26.719
people like you exist.

849
00:56:26.800 --> 00:56:27.480
So I need you to.

850
00:56:29.239 --> 00:56:37.880
Oh my hemorrhoids bleed for you.

851
00:56:39.480 --> 00:56:47.519
Oh my god. So anyway, so sometimes rhyme slow, sometimes quick.

852
00:56:48.039 --> 00:56:51.079
That's not what you were going to say. No, I

853
00:56:51.159 --> 00:56:52.840
was gonna no, I was gonna say. Actually, I was

854
00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:55.079
gonna say something that we're going to talk about after

855
00:56:55.119 --> 00:56:58.320
I do this, after I reintroduce myself. I got a

856
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:00.039
topic for you that I think you'll find very.

857
00:57:00.880 --> 00:57:07.719
Oh a sponsor. It's so sponsored by sexy ass water, diet,

858
00:57:08.159 --> 00:57:14.199
sexy ass water. I'm drinking that right now.

859
00:57:14.880 --> 00:57:16.000
You're drinking sexy water.

860
00:57:17.239 --> 00:57:18.440
I'm drinking about water.

861
00:57:19.280 --> 00:57:23.920
Oh wow, water, I'm drinking out of my medieval times.

862
00:57:27.800 --> 00:57:38.400
Meetable times. He bend the knee with his head. Anyway,

863
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:40.280
I king Joffrey.

864
00:57:42.679 --> 00:57:43.320
So I'm big cool.

865
00:57:44.159 --> 00:57:44.719
I am.

866
00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:52.079
Not gonna share my age. But I'm I'm a I

867
00:57:52.119 --> 00:57:58.199
don't know. I I'm ah my father head owner. I'm

868
00:57:58.239 --> 00:58:00.519
a pet I'm a pet owner. She's actually being quiet

869
00:58:00.599 --> 00:58:04.159
right now. Usually she she's really quiet A last time. Yeah,

870
00:58:04.199 --> 00:58:05.800
I know if she's if she starts barking now, I

871
00:58:05.880 --> 00:58:07.519
want to be a little upset. But she's really quiet.

872
00:58:07.559 --> 00:58:08.760
She's watching Lavernion Shirley.

873
00:58:08.840 --> 00:58:12.320
Actually, I'm a big cold I'm a pet owner.

874
00:58:12.599 --> 00:58:32.679
I see anyway, like I was saying, thank you. Oh no,

875
00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:42.480
oh my god. Anyway, I am, I'm a I'm a dad,

876
00:58:42.519 --> 00:58:52.840
I'm a grand hold on, yeah, I don't know what happened.

877
00:58:52.880 --> 00:58:54.760
You popped up on the screen twice again too. I

878
00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:59.159
don't know how that happened. But anyway, I'm I'm I'm

879
00:58:59.199 --> 00:59:01.559
a dad, I'm a grand a soon to be a

880
00:59:01.719 --> 00:59:12.400
granddad's seven. I I like I like football, I'm into podcasting.

881
00:59:12.440 --> 00:59:17.079
As you can tell I. I'm a firm believer that

882
00:59:18.960 --> 00:59:25.239
that that you're here for a reason, you have a

883
00:59:25.320 --> 00:59:29.320
purpose m hm. And regardless of whatever that purpose is,

884
00:59:30.800 --> 00:59:34.039
make the best of it, make make make make the

885
00:59:34.119 --> 00:59:36.599
best of every day. That's what I try to do.

886
00:59:39.639 --> 00:59:45.679
I'm yeah, I'm big, holy and and I'm in Jersey.

887
00:59:46.800 --> 00:59:52.480
And if you want to know more, you can email.

888
00:59:53.159 --> 01:00:01.840
You can email us at h O ship you're email addresses.

889
01:00:03.400 --> 01:00:05.920
When you say when you say that you're in Jersey,

890
01:00:05.920 --> 01:00:07.519
you know what I'm saying, Like we got separate the

891
01:00:07.599 --> 01:00:09.840
North from South. Right, We're from the better part of

892
01:00:09.920 --> 01:00:13.360
Jersey where like they actually make the money, you know

893
01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:16.920
what I mean, South Jersey. South Jersey is like you

894
01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:18.760
know what I'm saying, They got the arm pit of Jersey. Done,

895
01:00:19.400 --> 01:00:20.840
Alabama starting some ship.

896
01:00:21.519 --> 01:00:24.440
Oh you heard that? He said, you y'all Alabama.

897
01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:27.480
It's like the arm pit of Jerseys. You got Alabama.

898
01:00:29.199 --> 01:00:33.440
I don't have to say anything because clearly my confidence

899
01:00:34.280 --> 01:00:39.840
triggers his insecurity that he's overcome.

900
01:00:39.920 --> 01:00:42.880
In North Jersey. Yo, In North Jersey, we go to

901
01:00:43.000 --> 01:00:49.599
ancestry dot com. In South Jersey to go to ancestry com. Yeah.

902
01:00:49.679 --> 01:00:59.320
Man, yeah, So anyway, like I wanted to, I wanted to, So,

903
01:01:00.320 --> 01:01:02.840
do you know what DBT is?

904
01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:05.880
Yes, dialectical behavioral therapy.

905
01:01:08.239 --> 01:01:16.960
Well damn, okay, So what what is it about dialectical

906
01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:19.320
behavioral therapy that?

907
01:01:22.039 --> 01:01:22.920
What? What? What?

908
01:01:23.199 --> 01:01:23.760
What is it for?

909
01:01:24.719 --> 01:01:25.679
Like? What? What? What? What?

910
01:01:25.920 --> 01:01:28.400
What is the meaning of dialectical behavioral therapy?

911
01:01:29.000 --> 01:01:32.239
Okay? So it goes hand in hand with something else

912
01:01:32.320 --> 01:01:38.719
called CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy. So you have

913
01:01:38.880 --> 01:01:41.880
to start with knowing what the cognitive behavioral therapy is.

914
01:01:42.079 --> 01:01:46.039
And basically, the cognitive behavioral therapy runs on the premise

915
01:01:46.199 --> 01:01:51.440
or the idea that we are literally our worst enemies.

916
01:01:51.679 --> 01:01:57.400
We we have negative thoughts about ourselves without proof, right,

917
01:01:57.599 --> 01:02:01.199
So when people say things about us enough negative stuff,

918
01:02:01.559 --> 01:02:05.119
we start to believe it, right. So what dialectical behavior

919
01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:11.000
therapy is more the behaviors are, what are the dialectical

920
01:02:11.239 --> 01:02:21.760
behaviors that we exhibit that cause negative outcomes for us?

921
01:02:22.079 --> 01:02:26.800
And so what behaviors can we actually practice to help

922
01:02:27.400 --> 01:02:33.000
to kind of combat that. So mindfulness, yes, it's like

923
01:02:33.159 --> 01:02:37.840
actual putting things into practice. So with cognitive I could

924
01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:45.559
give an example, Like with cognitive, I might say, because

925
01:02:45.639 --> 01:02:53.159
I'm quiet, that means I'm antisocial. Right, So I'm negatively

926
01:02:53.280 --> 01:02:58.840
putting a label on myself, calling myself anti social because

927
01:02:59.400 --> 01:03:02.559
I don't talk talk a lot. Right, So when we

928
01:03:02.679 --> 01:03:06.239
do the cognitive behavioral therapy, it's helping us to challenge

929
01:03:06.360 --> 01:03:09.199
those thoughts. And one of those thoughts, or one of

930
01:03:09.280 --> 01:03:13.960
those challenges would be, what's my proof? What's my proof

931
01:03:14.039 --> 01:03:17.480
that I'm antisocial just because I don't talk a lot?

932
01:03:18.480 --> 01:03:21.920
Or is there possibly some other reason why I don't

933
01:03:21.960 --> 01:03:26.719
talk too much? Right? So it's about challenging and working

934
01:03:26.880 --> 01:03:32.519
with our innermost thoughts, the thoughts we think about ourselves

935
01:03:32.599 --> 01:03:35.840
and the things that we say to ourselves that keep

936
01:03:35.960 --> 01:03:42.480
us stuck in the negative or the anxious state of mind.

937
01:03:43.159 --> 01:03:46.679
So with the dialectical like you said, one of those

938
01:03:46.800 --> 01:03:53.000
would be mindfulness. Another thing would be tapping. When people

939
01:03:53.039 --> 01:03:57.360
who have high anxiety, a dialectical behavioral therapy would be

940
01:03:57.679 --> 01:04:00.719
what is a practice you can do to help you

941
01:04:00.840 --> 01:04:03.960
in that moment of anxiety. So there's this like five

942
01:04:04.079 --> 01:04:06.599
four three two one thing. It's that you do with

943
01:04:06.719 --> 01:04:10.440
your senses you you know, so when you're in the

944
01:04:10.519 --> 01:04:12.400
middle of a panic attack or when you're in the

945
01:04:12.480 --> 01:04:16.719
middle of that high high anxiety and you can't breathe

946
01:04:16.760 --> 01:04:19.920
and you can't think straight, you know, you find five

947
01:04:20.119 --> 01:04:24.199
things that you can see and you name them out loud, right,

948
01:04:24.599 --> 01:04:28.440
and then four things that you can hear, three things

949
01:04:28.519 --> 01:04:34.519
that you can feel, two things you can smell, you know,

950
01:04:35.519 --> 01:04:37.559
one thing you can touch, you know, so like different

951
01:04:37.639 --> 01:04:41.760
things like that. And so it's the actual behaviors, the

952
01:04:41.880 --> 01:04:47.760
actual tools that you can use to physically help you

953
01:04:48.840 --> 01:04:51.920
in in those moments or you know, stuff like that.

954
01:04:52.079 --> 01:04:55.000
So the cognitive is the thoughts. How do we change

955
01:04:55.119 --> 01:04:59.159
the story? How do we challenge the negative thoughts and

956
01:04:59.239 --> 01:05:02.960
feelings that we have about ourselves and others? Uh, And

957
01:05:03.039 --> 01:05:06.719
then dialectical is more behavior. How can we help ourselves

958
01:05:06.880 --> 01:05:11.679
in these specific moments to bring ourselves back to where

959
01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:13.920
we want to be hm.

960
01:05:13.880 --> 01:05:22.079
Hmm, very very interesting is in the building. So because

961
01:05:24.280 --> 01:05:28.400
you the reason why I bring I'm bringing it up,

962
01:05:28.559 --> 01:05:34.559
and I'm gonna bena be very honest and straightforward. They

963
01:05:35.840 --> 01:05:41.840
they suggested to me that I take a class and

964
01:05:41.960 --> 01:05:46.480
this is a six month course on dialectical behavioral therapy.

965
01:05:48.119 --> 01:05:51.039
So I'm in I'm in the I'm in a class

966
01:05:51.719 --> 01:05:56.000
that you know that's just a d b T, a

967
01:05:56.119 --> 01:06:01.159
d B dB T class. So yeah, I have DBT group. Yeah,

968
01:06:01.199 --> 01:06:03.199
I they got me in that and.

969
01:06:04.800 --> 01:06:07.199
And those are very I mean, they have been proven

970
01:06:07.320 --> 01:06:08.679
to be very helpful.

971
01:06:08.360 --> 01:06:12.519
For some people. Yeah. And the reason the reason why,

972
01:06:12.800 --> 01:06:17.519
like I'm I'm I'm bringing it up, is because I

973
01:06:17.599 --> 01:06:20.519
wanted your take on this was one particular thing. So

974
01:06:22.800 --> 01:06:24.519
all of it, all of it has to do with

975
01:06:25.599 --> 01:06:27.880
changing your thought process, you know what I'm saying, Like

976
01:06:28.880 --> 01:06:33.199
trying to figure out when you're in that moment and

977
01:06:33.559 --> 01:06:39.719
you're you're feeling or thinking a certain way, but they

978
01:06:39.840 --> 01:06:45.000
want you to stop and be mindful yep, and right

979
01:06:45.199 --> 01:06:50.719
notice it stop notice exactly. But how does how does

980
01:06:50.800 --> 01:06:56.480
that work? If you suffer from like an ADHD and

981
01:06:56.559 --> 01:06:59.960
your mind's constantly running and your thoughts are constantly change,

982
01:07:00.320 --> 01:07:06.800
And how do you stop yourself refocus and then become

983
01:07:06.920 --> 01:07:10.960
mindful if your thoughts are constantly like at odds with

984
01:07:11.079 --> 01:07:11.400
each other?

985
01:07:13.559 --> 01:07:16.000
Real quick, fake it till you make it, lie to

986
01:07:16.039 --> 01:07:19.480
yourself to it sounds true. No, no, no, no way, no,

987
01:07:19.559 --> 01:07:21.400
hold on, hold on, hold on, you're not You know

988
01:07:21.400 --> 01:07:23.000
what I'm saying. When I say fake it till you

989
01:07:23.079 --> 01:07:26.800
make it means like go to the bathroom looking in

990
01:07:26.800 --> 01:07:28.639
the marrand you know what I'm saying, whatever negative thought

991
01:07:28.639 --> 01:07:30.079
you had, just you know what I'm saying to be like, yo,

992
01:07:30.159 --> 01:07:32.440
you know what, You're better than this, and keep telling

993
01:07:32.480 --> 01:07:34.360
yourself that. That's how you know what I'm saying. That's

994
01:07:34.360 --> 01:07:36.480
how I used to start, you know what I mean?

995
01:07:36.599 --> 01:07:39.280
Like like like yo, you know what I had to

996
01:07:39.480 --> 01:07:41.599
I had to lie to myself to like to like

997
01:07:41.599 --> 01:07:42.880
you know what I'm saying, Like, YO, you're all right,

998
01:07:42.960 --> 01:07:45.519
You're all right, even though I wasn't okay, Like, YO,

999
01:07:45.559 --> 01:07:46.880
you're all right, You're going to get through this. You

1000
01:07:46.880 --> 01:07:49.039
know what I'm saying. Whatever storm it is, you're going

1001
01:07:49.119 --> 01:07:51.119
to get through it. You know what I'm saying. When

1002
01:07:51.199 --> 01:07:53.559
have you not gone through it before? You know what

1003
01:07:53.559 --> 01:07:58.119
I'm saying like like like yo, like but hold on though,

1004
01:07:58.159 --> 01:08:01.079
like like Yo, he's see he's seen me. You know

1005
01:08:01.079 --> 01:08:02.559
what I'm saying, Like, oh my, you know what I'm saying,

1006
01:08:03.199 --> 01:08:05.639
Like you know what I'm saying, like on the edge,

1007
01:08:05.679 --> 01:08:07.639
you know what I'm saying on the edge, like yo,

1008
01:08:07.719 --> 01:08:10.760
you know what, like it ain't even worth living like

1009
01:08:10.920 --> 01:08:14.760
talking stuff like that. You know, but I have you

1010
01:08:14.800 --> 01:08:16.119
know what I'm saying. But I'm like, yo, you know what,

1011
01:08:17.119 --> 01:08:18.520
Like I was like, Yo, today is the day that

1012
01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:20.159
you know what I'm saying. I think you know what

1013
01:08:20.159 --> 01:08:21.720
I'm saying, Today's a good day to die, Like I

1014
01:08:21.720 --> 01:08:25.720
would tell him that straight up right. But then like

1015
01:08:25.760 --> 01:08:28.119
you know what I'm saying, I have to you know

1016
01:08:28.159 --> 01:08:29.960
what I'm saying, I have to like mentally talk myself

1017
01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:33.279
out of it because you know what, I don't know

1018
01:08:33.319 --> 01:08:34.680
what I'm saying, like I don't want to I don't

1019
01:08:34.680 --> 01:08:37.199
want to lose. I don't want to lose this game

1020
01:08:37.239 --> 01:08:40.319
of life to myself. You know what I'm saying. I

1021
01:08:40.319 --> 01:08:42.479
don't want to be the cause of me, of my demise,

1022
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:45.359
you know, Like I wasn't put here, you know what

1023
01:08:45.399 --> 01:08:49.279
I'm saying to go out like that you know, like

1024
01:08:49.880 --> 01:08:51.319
that's what I'm saying, Like you know what, like that's

1025
01:08:51.359 --> 01:08:52.960
how that's how I used to start. You know what

1026
01:08:52.960 --> 01:08:55.079
I'm saying, Like I woke up the press, I'll look

1027
01:08:55.079 --> 01:08:56.680
at the mirror like you know what I'm saying, Like

1028
01:08:56.720 --> 01:08:58.159
I'll let it all out, be like, yo, you know

1029
01:08:58.239 --> 01:09:00.279
what you're worthless? Well? I was like, yo, you know what,

1030
01:09:00.399 --> 01:09:03.640
though it worth something? You know what I'm saying, Make

1031
01:09:03.720 --> 01:09:07.560
it count, Make it count, you know, like even if Yah,

1032
01:09:07.560 --> 01:09:09.359
I used to look in the bathroom crying like you

1033
01:09:09.399 --> 01:09:11.760
know what I'm saying, like I wanted to die, but

1034
01:09:11.840 --> 01:09:14.199
I used to tell myself, I'm like, yo, make it count, man,

1035
01:09:14.279 --> 01:09:15.920
if you want to get through it, man, you're going

1036
01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:19.359
to get through it, you know, like crying like you

1037
01:09:19.399 --> 01:09:20.840
know what I'm saying, Like to the point where I'm

1038
01:09:20.840 --> 01:09:23.680
looking at kitchen knobs and like, you know, like in

1039
01:09:23.720 --> 01:09:25.359
the ways to slip my vein because you don't slip

1040
01:09:25.399 --> 01:09:27.760
your vein across up and down? I know that.

1041
01:09:28.279 --> 01:09:30.000
Why are you advertising that right now?

1042
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:32.199
But I'm just but I'm just saying though. I'm just

1043
01:09:32.239 --> 01:09:33.479
saying though, like you know what I'm saying, Like that's

1044
01:09:33.520 --> 01:09:36.239
what you know I mean, Like that's what my mom

1045
01:09:36.439 --> 01:09:38.640
was like going through you know what I'm saying, Like,

1046
01:09:39.520 --> 01:09:43.319
especially after my brother died, you know, like I was

1047
01:09:43.399 --> 01:09:46.039
going through all that, you know what I'm saying. Where

1048
01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:49.119
but yet you know what I'm saying, Like I had

1049
01:09:49.159 --> 01:09:52.520
to lie to myself, you know, like I had to

1050
01:09:52.640 --> 01:09:54.520
lie you know what I'm saying to myself till it

1051
01:09:54.920 --> 01:09:57.680
sounded true, until it started to feel true, and then

1052
01:09:57.720 --> 01:10:02.079
it became truth because your words of weapons and your words.

1053
01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:04.239
You know what I'm saying. Whatever, you know what I'm saying,

1054
01:10:04.239 --> 01:10:07.079
Whatever you speak out is what it is. You know

1055
01:10:07.079 --> 01:10:08.760
what I'm saying. So like if you keep telling yourself

1056
01:10:08.760 --> 01:10:11.359
you're worth this, and guess what, You're gonna feel worthless?

1057
01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:14.039
You know what I'm saying. If you know what I'm saying,

1058
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:16.960
Like if you keep speaking, if you keep speaking, you

1059
01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:20.159
know what I'm saying, like like throwing positivity out there,

1060
01:10:20.239 --> 01:10:23.079
like like you may feel worthless, but you're not. You

1061
01:10:23.119 --> 01:10:26.119
know what I'm saying, But you're not worthless, you know,

1062
01:10:26.279 --> 01:10:29.600
Like it's a jump start. You know what I'm saying.

1063
01:10:30.159 --> 01:10:32.760
It's a you know what I'm saying, Like it's not

1064
01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:34.279
like you know what I'm saying, Like it's a big

1065
01:10:34.359 --> 01:10:36.359
step is stone, but it's a step is stone, it's

1066
01:10:36.399 --> 01:10:40.199
a baby stuff. That's how you start, man, Like that's

1067
01:10:40.239 --> 01:10:43.640
how I did. You know, like you gotta find something,

1068
01:10:43.640 --> 01:10:46.279
You gotta find something that's worth inside. You know what

1069
01:10:46.319 --> 01:10:50.079
I'm saying to where like you know something that's worth

1070
01:10:50.119 --> 01:10:51.560
you know what I'm saying, noting you know what I'm saying.

1071
01:10:51.880 --> 01:10:53.399
And yo, and and the thing is, you know what

1072
01:10:53.399 --> 01:10:56.359
I'm saying, Like to anybody that's depressed, you know what

1073
01:10:56.359 --> 01:10:59.159
I'm saying, Like, just know that you are worth it.

1074
01:10:59.560 --> 01:11:00.800
It's just that you know what I'm saying, You're not

1075
01:11:00.880 --> 01:11:02.560
seeing it right now because of what you know what

1076
01:11:02.560 --> 01:11:04.520
I'm saying, how you feeling whatever problems that you have.

1077
01:11:04.640 --> 01:11:06.960
But like you're bigger than your problems. You know what

1078
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:09.039
I'm saying. Your life is worth more than your problems.

1079
01:11:09.960 --> 01:11:12.800
You know, And like it took me a long time

1080
01:11:12.880 --> 01:11:16.600
to realize that. You know, like I'm worth more than

1081
01:11:17.560 --> 01:11:19.920
what I'm going through. You know what I'm saying, Like

1082
01:11:20.159 --> 01:11:22.840
I will I will get over this. You know what

1083
01:11:22.840 --> 01:11:24.720
I'm saying. I will get over this little hump, or

1084
01:11:24.760 --> 01:11:29.359
I will climb this mountain. You know what I'm saying, like, yeah, well,

1085
01:11:29.439 --> 01:11:31.960
you always have to, like you know, think positive and

1086
01:11:32.039 --> 01:11:34.279
like even if you're feel a negative man, just like

1087
01:11:35.439 --> 01:11:39.279
speak positivity to yourself, have a conversation with yourself. Speak

1088
01:11:39.319 --> 01:11:42.079
it to yourself. You know what I'm saying, even though

1089
01:11:42.079 --> 01:11:43.399
you know what I'm saying. Oh, you know what I'm saying,

1090
01:11:43.439 --> 01:11:45.159
Like it feels like you're lying to yourself, But just

1091
01:11:45.239 --> 01:11:48.239
speak it anyways, because you know what, It'll start sounding

1092
01:11:48.319 --> 01:11:49.840
true and it will start feeling true.

1093
01:11:53.199 --> 01:11:53.359
You know.

1094
01:11:53.399 --> 01:11:56.279
Everytimes I have to lie to myself. That's why I'm

1095
01:11:56.279 --> 01:11:59.399
saying it, you know. Do you know how many times?

1096
01:11:59.399 --> 01:11:59.520
You know?

1097
01:11:59.520 --> 01:12:00.520
Do you know what I mean? Tis like you know

1098
01:12:00.560 --> 01:12:02.520
what I'm saying, Like like real shit, you know what

1099
01:12:02.520 --> 01:12:04.760
I'm saying. Then sometimes I try to kill myself and

1100
01:12:04.800 --> 01:12:07.279
I thought about doing it, and I had to like

1101
01:12:07.439 --> 01:12:13.159
speak positivity into my life, you know, Like there was Yo,

1102
01:12:13.399 --> 01:12:14.880
there was days where I you know what I'm saying,

1103
01:12:14.960 --> 01:12:17.159
Like why I wake up like, yo, today is a

1104
01:12:17.199 --> 01:12:18.680
good day to die? You know what I'm saying. I'll

1105
01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:22.760
say that with a smile on my face, right and

1106
01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:24.199
then like you know what I'm saying. All day I'm

1107
01:12:24.239 --> 01:12:26.640
thinking of ways, like you know, maybe I should go

1108
01:12:26.680 --> 01:12:28.600
get you know what I'm saying, maybe the third rail.

1109
01:12:29.079 --> 01:12:30.760
Yeah it's gonna burn, but I ain't gonna feel nothing.

1110
01:12:31.399 --> 01:12:33.000
Yeah I should get hit by a train, but I

1111
01:12:33.079 --> 01:12:34.800
want to close cask Like, yo, you know what, these

1112
01:12:34.920 --> 01:12:38.319
these were the things that was actually thinking, you know,

1113
01:12:39.680 --> 01:12:41.600
so like I had to like you know what I'm

1114
01:12:41.600 --> 01:12:44.239
saying at first off, you know what I'm saying, those

1115
01:12:44.279 --> 01:12:46.600
were the times that I prayed actually, and that's what

1116
01:12:46.640 --> 01:12:48.279
I'm saying, like you know, like that's why, like you know,

1117
01:12:49.039 --> 01:12:52.199
I know that God is real, you know, like those

1118
01:12:52.199 --> 01:12:55.640
are the times that I actually prayed, right, and then

1119
01:12:55.680 --> 01:12:57.079
I have to like speak you know what I'm saying,

1120
01:12:57.199 --> 01:13:00.720
speak positivity or whatever to my life, you know, because

1121
01:13:00.800 --> 01:13:06.640
like it was damn I feel like I'm living in

1122
01:13:08.319 --> 01:13:18.920
Yeah mhm. There was times yo, like you know where Yo,

1123
01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:24.760
there was times man like like very dark times And

1124
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:27.000
the only reason why, like I'm sounding emotional right now

1125
01:13:27.039 --> 01:13:28.319
is because I'm happy I didn't do it.

1126
01:13:30.039 --> 01:13:33.319
Yeah, I would look at you look at your situation now.

1127
01:13:33.239 --> 01:13:35.880
Bro, exactly. You know what I'm saying, like, yo, you

1128
01:13:35.960 --> 01:13:39.199
know what you know what like like you know, like

1129
01:13:39.399 --> 01:13:44.119
how would my kids feel? You know what I'm saying like, like, yo,

1130
01:13:44.239 --> 01:13:47.560
there was times man, and you know what I mean.

1131
01:13:47.680 --> 01:13:49.920
I know we don't talk religion and all that stuff,

1132
01:13:49.960 --> 01:13:51.439
and I know how I come out, you know, and

1133
01:13:51.640 --> 01:13:53.600
just not you know what I'm saying, come out with

1134
01:13:53.680 --> 01:13:57.000
my bullshit or on here, you know, just to be

1135
01:13:57.159 --> 01:13:59.800
villainous or whatever. But Yo, through the grace of God,

1136
01:14:00.119 --> 01:14:03.159
still here, man, because like I ain't supposed to be here.

1137
01:14:03.319 --> 01:14:08.319
The many times there many times are overdose, you know,

1138
01:14:08.399 --> 01:14:14.479
on purpose, you know what I mean, Like all because

1139
01:14:14.520 --> 01:14:17.600
you know, like you know, like I didn't speak to

1140
01:14:17.600 --> 01:14:20.479
that all because I believed on what I felt, and

1141
01:14:20.640 --> 01:14:24.079
what I felt was false. You know what I'm saying,

1142
01:14:24.119 --> 01:14:32.079
Because I was worth a lot more, That's what I'm saying.

1143
01:14:32.199 --> 01:14:34.880
You know, like you fake it till you make it, man,

1144
01:14:34.960 --> 01:14:37.960
like even if you're not feeling it, you know what

1145
01:14:37.960 --> 01:14:41.920
i mean, Like, just speak positivity to yourself. You know,

1146
01:14:42.079 --> 01:14:43.600
look in the mirror. You know what I'm saying. Just

1147
01:14:43.680 --> 01:14:45.279
by you looking in the mirror, you know what I'm saying.

1148
01:14:45.760 --> 01:14:47.760
Just know that you're worth it. You know what I'm saying.

1149
01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:50.399
You're worth more than whatever the demons on your back.

1150
01:14:54.399 --> 01:15:04.359
Hm, my bad mind sight, That's all right, doctor, I mean,

1151
01:15:04.399 --> 01:15:05.039
I don't know what I.

1152
01:15:05.039 --> 01:15:08.680
Can say after that. Yeah.

1153
01:15:11.600 --> 01:15:16.760
Now I'm just saying you know, like like yo, everybody

1154
01:15:16.840 --> 01:15:18.760
has demons that you know what I'm saying, We all battle,

1155
01:15:18.800 --> 01:15:21.840
you know what I mean, Like demons come in different

1156
01:15:22.159 --> 01:15:24.359
different forms. You know what I'm saying, Like like my

1157
01:15:24.479 --> 01:15:28.119
demon is a bottle and a pill. You know, Like

1158
01:15:29.239 --> 01:15:33.319
those are my demons, you know, Like I know who

1159
01:15:33.399 --> 01:15:36.960
they are, I know what they do. That's why. That's

1160
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:39.000
why I like, you know what I'm saying, Like I

1161
01:15:39.079 --> 01:15:41.319
stay away from the bottle. I can't stay away from

1162
01:15:41.359 --> 01:15:44.399
the pill because I get prescribed them. Now you know

1163
01:15:44.640 --> 01:15:48.319
the irony I used to make them many.

1164
01:15:48.199 --> 01:15:52.239
Better to take. No, it's not especially you know that

1165
01:15:52.359 --> 01:15:54.039
there's something that can be a problem.

1166
01:15:55.239 --> 01:15:57.159
True, that's the reason why. You know what I'm saying.

1167
01:15:57.199 --> 01:15:58.840
I'm smart enough to have my you know what I'm saying,

1168
01:15:58.880 --> 01:16:03.159
My lady hold them, you know what I mean, Like

1169
01:16:03.600 --> 01:16:05.359
like I'm like your hair, take it. That's it, you

1170
01:16:05.399 --> 01:16:09.239
know what I'm saying, Like you know what it's gonna like,

1171
01:16:09.319 --> 01:16:11.439
you know what, Like I'm feeling a lot of pain tonight.

1172
01:16:12.439 --> 01:16:14.439
I know it's gonna rain tomorrow. I feel it. I

1173
01:16:14.520 --> 01:16:19.880
feel it now, you know. But I'm gonna try to,

1174
01:16:19.920 --> 01:16:23.119
like you know what I'm saying, be strong tomorrow and

1175
01:16:23.199 --> 01:16:27.319
avoid it. Try just to keep word because you know what,

1176
01:16:28.760 --> 01:16:32.399
it's gonna be heavy tomorrow and on the light and note,

1177
01:16:32.760 --> 01:16:34.000
yeah we was in a drought. Yeah.

1178
01:16:34.800 --> 01:16:36.960
Who we haven't had rain in like two and a

1179
01:16:37.000 --> 01:16:37.600
half months.

1180
01:16:37.640 --> 01:16:40.079
Bro, Yes, it's up. Yes, it's September right like the

1181
01:16:40.199 --> 01:16:43.000
end of September around there, right, No.

1182
01:16:43.119 --> 01:16:46.119
I think mid September. You can't even watch what are anymore?

1183
01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:48.960
Like they got the restricted.

1184
01:16:50.399 --> 01:16:52.119
Yeah not after tomorrow.

1185
01:16:53.079 --> 01:16:56.479
Well it's supposed to rain tonight, tomorrow and Friday.

1186
01:16:58.439 --> 01:16:58.800
What what?

1187
01:17:00.039 --> 01:17:00.600
And we'll see.

1188
01:17:01.159 --> 01:17:03.680
Yeah, I heard north there it is supposed to get snow.

1189
01:17:05.840 --> 01:17:07.479
I heard the same thing. But I don't.

1190
01:17:07.520 --> 01:17:07.800
I don't.

1191
01:17:07.880 --> 01:17:09.880
I didn't see it on the forecast.

1192
01:17:11.640 --> 01:17:14.000
You know. And and yo, you know what, and you know,

1193
01:17:14.199 --> 01:17:20.760
to lighten up the the mood or whatever, right, you know.

1194
01:17:21.479 --> 01:17:23.920
Back then I used to be like, yo, you know what,

1195
01:17:24.199 --> 01:17:26.279
I can't. Yo. First off, you know what you said

1196
01:17:26.279 --> 01:17:29.399
something earlier about snow, and I remember it's snowing like

1197
01:17:29.560 --> 01:17:31.159
mid November, Like you know what I'm saying, Like we'll

1198
01:17:31.159 --> 01:17:35.840
get snow flurries mid November like around this time, remember

1199
01:17:36.399 --> 01:17:37.279
like back in the day.

1200
01:17:37.199 --> 01:17:40.680
Like remember the ninety six Oh.

1201
01:17:40.640 --> 01:17:42.960
Man, the storming, like yo went went and went to

1202
01:17:43.039 --> 01:17:45.640
the store in ninety three and ninety six. Yeah, yoh

1203
01:17:45.680 --> 01:17:47.079
that blizzard was crazy, man.

1204
01:17:47.439 --> 01:17:49.640
Yeah, I goton in ninety three.

1205
01:17:51.039 --> 01:17:51.439
Ninety three.

1206
01:17:51.479 --> 01:17:55.479
What was I Oh man, you well hold up, hold up,

1207
01:17:55.479 --> 01:17:56.880
but hold on, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait

1208
01:17:56.880 --> 01:17:57.159
a minute.

1209
01:17:57.439 --> 01:17:57.920
Oh my bad.

1210
01:17:57.960 --> 01:18:00.800
We were we were no good, You're good.

1211
01:18:01.159 --> 01:18:03.560
I just I just want to I was just trying to,

1212
01:18:03.600 --> 01:18:05.000
like you know what I'm saying, like like like my

1213
01:18:05.079 --> 01:18:06.880
bathom being itself, that's trying to get my mother, Like

1214
01:18:06.880 --> 01:18:08.960
you know what I'm saying, get get out of that

1215
01:18:09.079 --> 01:18:12.880
dark spot. I just threw myself in. Yeah.

1216
01:18:12.880 --> 01:18:14.760
And that's the key word. So this is a great

1217
01:18:14.840 --> 01:18:19.840
example of what you were talking about, Cornon Dubbs. You

1218
01:18:20.079 --> 01:18:21.079
took yourself there.

1219
01:18:22.159 --> 01:18:22.319
Yeah.

1220
01:18:23.760 --> 01:18:26.880
Yeah. So and and that's so that's kind of an

1221
01:18:26.920 --> 01:18:29.319
example about what I was going to say to you, Corleon,

1222
01:18:29.560 --> 01:18:34.640
is when you have your mind that continuously is running, running, running,

1223
01:18:35.279 --> 01:18:38.439
The first thing is do you notice when you're doing

1224
01:18:38.520 --> 01:18:42.439
it right, Like, at some point do you notice that

1225
01:18:42.560 --> 01:18:43.520
your mind is running?

1226
01:18:45.439 --> 01:18:45.479
No?

1227
01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:50.039
The only the only thing that the only the only

1228
01:18:50.199 --> 01:18:59.239
thing that what happens is that I see myself jumping

1229
01:18:59.600 --> 01:19:05.359
from thoughts of thought. But you see it, I catch it.

1230
01:19:06.039 --> 01:19:07.520
I don't I catch it.

1231
01:19:07.640 --> 01:19:11.079
It takes me a while, right, but you eventually catch it. Well,

1232
01:19:11.119 --> 01:19:14.520
that's what I'm talking about. That's noticing. So when you

1233
01:19:14.800 --> 01:19:17.560
catch it, when you say to yourself, oh, hold on,

1234
01:19:18.399 --> 01:19:22.640
I'm doing too much, right, that is the first that's

1235
01:19:22.680 --> 01:19:27.079
the first moment you notice that it's happening. Then you

1236
01:19:27.279 --> 01:19:31.720
have to switch gears. Okay, so what can I do

1237
01:19:31.960 --> 01:19:37.079
right now to take my mind out of this automatic? Right?

1238
01:19:37.560 --> 01:19:41.720
So whatever it was that you were doing when you

1239
01:19:42.319 --> 01:19:45.680
caught your mind running, So what would you usually be

1240
01:19:45.760 --> 01:19:47.279
doing when you catch your mind running?

1241
01:19:49.359 --> 01:19:53.479
That's the ship. Sometimes it jumps around so much that

1242
01:19:53.560 --> 01:19:53.920
I know.

1243
01:19:54.119 --> 01:19:58.600
But are you sitting watching Team Oh no, I could

1244
01:19:58.640 --> 01:19:59.359
be on the laptop.

1245
01:19:59.439 --> 01:20:01.479
I could be watching tea like whatever it is. I

1246
01:20:01.520 --> 01:20:04.399
could be doing anything, everything and anything I could possibly

1247
01:20:04.399 --> 01:20:05.279
be doing. Yes.

1248
01:20:05.399 --> 01:20:08.439
So one of the things about being mindful is when

1249
01:20:08.479 --> 01:20:12.520
you catch yourself in those moments, whatever you're doing in

1250
01:20:12.640 --> 01:20:17.359
that moment, change it, get up and go do something else.

1251
01:20:18.239 --> 01:20:21.600
Because what it is, especially with add and ADHD, is

1252
01:20:22.439 --> 01:20:26.079
it's the amount of time that you can spend on attention.

1253
01:20:27.119 --> 01:20:32.359
So your attention span might only be five minutes long,

1254
01:20:32.600 --> 01:20:36.279
ten minutes long, fifteen Some people get to a half hour, right,

1255
01:20:37.000 --> 01:20:40.800
So that helps you or even start keeping a journal.

1256
01:20:41.119 --> 01:20:44.680
Every time you catch yourself doing it, you write down

1257
01:20:45.960 --> 01:20:50.439
when you caught yourself what you were doing. Right, then

1258
01:20:50.600 --> 01:20:54.680
the next time you catch yourself again, why and how

1259
01:20:54.760 --> 01:20:57.560
did I catch myself? What time is it and what

1260
01:20:57.800 --> 01:21:00.880
was I doing? Because sometimes when we do that, when

1261
01:21:00.960 --> 01:21:04.399
we write things down, we start to see patterns, and

1262
01:21:04.479 --> 01:21:08.359
then that helps us to break the patterns because sometimes

1263
01:21:08.439 --> 01:21:12.000
we see okay, so when I sit and watch TV. Right,

1264
01:21:14.720 --> 01:21:18.199
when I watch TV, maybe my mind runs right and

1265
01:21:18.600 --> 01:21:22.039
I start having negative thoughts. So if I write that

1266
01:21:22.199 --> 01:21:25.279
down enough, then I know I can only sit and

1267
01:21:25.359 --> 01:21:27.840
watch TV for maybe a half hour, and then I

1268
01:21:27.920 --> 01:21:31.600
set an alarm for that half hour, and then that

1269
01:21:31.760 --> 01:21:33.359
tells me, okay, I need to get up and do

1270
01:21:33.479 --> 01:21:37.279
something else to help prevent It's like when you take

1271
01:21:37.680 --> 01:21:41.600
talinol after a surgery or something, they tell you take

1272
01:21:41.640 --> 01:21:46.199
the medication before you start to feel the pain. That way,

1273
01:21:46.600 --> 01:21:51.600
it prevents the pain from arriving. Does that make sense? Yeah,

1274
01:21:52.479 --> 01:21:58.439
so it's all about catching. Once you catch it, okay,

1275
01:21:58.600 --> 01:22:01.800
my next step is I need to be mindful about it.

1276
01:22:02.239 --> 01:22:05.439
Is there something going on right now that's causing my

1277
01:22:05.600 --> 01:22:08.840
mind to be jumping around like that? Is there something

1278
01:22:08.960 --> 01:22:11.600
I need to do? So that's the mindful part, is

1279
01:22:11.720 --> 01:22:15.279
actually thinking about it, being in the moment or even

1280
01:22:15.399 --> 01:22:19.359
trying one of those DBT exercises. So when you catch

1281
01:22:19.399 --> 01:22:22.199
your mind, you know, and these are all different types

1282
01:22:22.239 --> 01:22:25.680
of things you can do, different types of like help

1283
01:22:25.760 --> 01:22:29.640
you can give to yourself when you catch yourself say okay,

1284
01:22:29.920 --> 01:22:32.720
then I need to do a two minute breathing exercise

1285
01:22:33.840 --> 01:22:38.000
and then go back to what you were doing. It

1286
01:22:38.079 --> 01:22:46.079
could be something like, okay, so I'm at work. When

1287
01:22:46.119 --> 01:22:48.720
I'm at work, I know that I need to send

1288
01:22:51.000 --> 01:22:55.279
like I can't sit for a very long time, so

1289
01:22:55.760 --> 01:22:58.720
like once an hour, I'll take ten minutes, I'll walk

1290
01:22:58.800 --> 01:23:01.239
around the floor of my job up and then I'll

1291
01:23:01.239 --> 01:23:01.640
come back.

1292
01:23:03.039 --> 01:23:03.199
You know.

1293
01:23:03.479 --> 01:23:06.840
So sometimes it's about setting alarms, right, and that's and

1294
01:23:07.000 --> 01:23:13.000
that's being mindful. Okay, I mean, was that helpful at all?

1295
01:23:13.119 --> 01:23:13.800
Or was that? Yeah?

1296
01:23:15.239 --> 01:23:18.600
I completely I completely understand. Yeah, I got this, I

1297
01:23:18.680 --> 01:23:21.920
got this booklet. That shit's like this with ha ha.

1298
01:23:22.680 --> 01:23:27.840
Well sometimes that's overwhelming. Sometimes that is overwhelming, So.

1299
01:23:28.560 --> 01:23:31.239
They give me a binder, like with all this information

1300
01:23:31.399 --> 01:23:32.479
in that well.

1301
01:23:32.359 --> 01:23:35.039
Because it's all good. It's all good information once you

1302
01:23:35.199 --> 01:23:39.680
get through and check things out. And sometimes it's also

1303
01:23:39.720 --> 01:23:43.199
about breaking things down. Sometimes our mind race is because

1304
01:23:43.239 --> 01:23:47.039
what we're dealing with right now is too much, right

1305
01:23:47.159 --> 01:23:51.760
you know. So I know one thing with me is

1306
01:23:52.520 --> 01:23:55.479
you know, keeping up because of my ADHD, keeping up

1307
01:23:55.600 --> 01:24:01.000
on like the house. So sometimes we get so overwhelmed

1308
01:24:01.239 --> 01:24:04.199
with what's in front of us that it causes our

1309
01:24:04.279 --> 01:24:07.399
mind to procrastinate and just not do anything about it.

1310
01:24:08.479 --> 01:24:10.399
So what you do is you break it down into

1311
01:24:10.439 --> 01:24:15.800
a smaller, bite sized piece. So say I have a

1312
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:19.640
room like your living room. Right If I look at

1313
01:24:19.680 --> 01:24:22.399
your living room and I say, okay, I'm going to

1314
01:24:22.479 --> 01:24:25.279
clean this whole living room. But then all of a sudden,

1315
01:24:25.359 --> 01:24:28.000
I start to feel like I can't do this, you

1316
01:24:28.079 --> 01:24:30.119
know that self talk. I can't do this, this is

1317
01:24:30.159 --> 01:24:33.680
too much, this is crazy. Then I say, okay, let's

1318
01:24:33.760 --> 01:24:36.920
cut that in half. Let's cut it down to only

1319
01:24:37.359 --> 01:24:40.560
half of the living room. I'm gonna get half the

1320
01:24:40.640 --> 01:24:45.119
living room done today and I'll be good sometimes that

1321
01:24:45.279 --> 01:24:47.960
might still be too much, and then you have to

1322
01:24:48.000 --> 01:24:50.800
break it down some more, a fourth of the living room.

1323
01:24:51.600 --> 01:24:55.720
You keep breaking it down until it's palatable for you,

1324
01:24:56.079 --> 01:24:58.359
until it's at a place where you're like, I could

1325
01:24:58.399 --> 01:25:02.479
do this, and you actually complete it. The thing is

1326
01:25:02.960 --> 01:25:09.840
when you start small, eventually it becomes bigger. So right

1327
01:25:09.920 --> 01:25:12.279
now I might only be able to do one fourth

1328
01:25:12.359 --> 01:25:15.880
of your living room and feel good, right, but I

1329
01:25:15.960 --> 01:25:20.720
also have to tell myself cognitively, even though it's not

1330
01:25:20.880 --> 01:25:24.520
what I had originally planned, it was still better than

1331
01:25:24.680 --> 01:25:29.680
not doing anything right. Right, So also rewarding yourself for

1332
01:25:29.840 --> 01:25:30.760
the little games.

1333
01:25:31.560 --> 01:25:32.479
It's nice, scream.

1334
01:25:34.359 --> 01:25:38.520
It's not about always getting everything on the list done,

1335
01:25:39.000 --> 01:25:41.760
but maybe getting one or two things on that list done,

1336
01:25:42.239 --> 01:25:44.800
because after a while that starts to add up, and

1337
01:25:44.920 --> 01:25:46.199
then the whole list is done.

1338
01:25:48.079 --> 01:25:51.880
You know, yeah, hey, okay, you know how randomly I'll

1339
01:25:51.920 --> 01:25:55.880
call you up my bad you know, like yoga, you

1340
01:25:55.920 --> 01:25:57.760
know what I'm saying, you're doing good and worried about

1341
01:25:57.760 --> 01:26:02.399
it and'll just be random mm and so to let

1342
01:26:02.439 --> 01:26:04.159
you know that, yo, you know what you straight you

1343
01:26:04.159 --> 01:26:05.720
know what I'm saying, Like you know what I'm saying,

1344
01:26:05.760 --> 01:26:08.079
like like you know what lady. Like sometimes I call

1345
01:26:08.159 --> 01:26:10.520
Caldly on up like out of the blue, I'm like, Yo,

1346
01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:12.880
what up? What you're doing? Blah blah blah. All right, Yo,

1347
01:26:13.000 --> 01:26:14.800
you're doing good. Fam, don't work. You know what I'm saying.

1348
01:26:15.239 --> 01:26:16.960
Whatever stresses out here, don't you know what I'm saying.

1349
01:26:17.039 --> 01:26:18.920
Don't look too deep into it. You know what I'm saying.

1350
01:26:18.960 --> 01:26:20.600
You're doing good? You got this that in the third

1351
01:26:20.640 --> 01:26:21.159
and know what I'm saying.

1352
01:26:21.239 --> 01:26:21.680
You good.

1353
01:26:22.640 --> 01:26:25.119
You know what I'm saying. Even though we all want

1354
01:26:25.239 --> 01:26:28.079
more that comes in time. Be patient. You know what

1355
01:26:28.119 --> 01:26:31.600
I'm saying. Everything has the time for it, you know.

1356
01:26:31.760 --> 01:26:33.800
And this would be random phone calls. You know what

1357
01:26:33.800 --> 01:26:35.640
I'm saying. Like it's not because he told me anything

1358
01:26:35.640 --> 01:26:40.479
about anything. You know what I'm saying. This should be random, right,

1359
01:26:40.640 --> 01:26:42.239
like a random phone call. You know what I'm saying

1360
01:26:42.279 --> 01:26:43.960
to you know what I'm saying, to lift my boy up.

1361
01:26:44.399 --> 01:26:45.960
You know what I'm saying, even though you know what

1362
01:26:45.960 --> 01:26:48.119
I'm saying, like like you know what I mean, Like

1363
01:26:48.920 --> 01:26:51.880
it wasn't even asked, you know what I mean? Because

1364
01:26:51.920 --> 01:26:55.399
like I believe that, because I believe that, you know,

1365
01:26:55.600 --> 01:26:58.239
like like you know, like like you know what I'm saying, like,

1366
01:26:58.520 --> 01:27:01.000
like I like to be honest with you know, how

1367
01:27:01.079 --> 01:27:03.079
I am on here is not how I am on here,

1368
01:27:03.439 --> 01:27:05.680
you know what I mean. It's like, you know, like

1369
01:27:05.840 --> 01:27:11.359
my name isn't my name? You know, like offline, to

1370
01:27:11.439 --> 01:27:15.119
be honest, I'm a little different, you know, on here,

1371
01:27:15.439 --> 01:27:16.720
I just come over here, you know what I'm saying,

1372
01:27:16.800 --> 01:27:18.279
just to be a villain, because I know I could

1373
01:27:18.319 --> 01:27:21.199
be a jerk, you know, I know I can you

1374
01:27:21.239 --> 01:27:22.640
know what I'm saying. I know how to ruffle feathers,

1375
01:27:23.680 --> 01:27:28.319
you know, but offline, offline is totally different.

1376
01:27:28.640 --> 01:27:35.760
Right, It's true. You see that energy? H Did you

1377
01:27:35.880 --> 01:27:36.199
see that?

1378
01:27:37.439 --> 01:27:37.479
No?

1379
01:27:37.720 --> 01:27:39.359
I didn't know on the screen?

1380
01:27:43.439 --> 01:27:43.920
Do do do?

1381
01:27:46.439 --> 01:27:47.279
I am old?

1382
01:27:50.960 --> 01:27:53.840
All right? All right here, let me read your bedtime story.

1383
01:27:54.159 --> 01:27:56.119
Once upon a time, there was a person they've been

1384
01:27:56.239 --> 01:27:58.840
like she said, Oh my god, lady g I do

1385
01:27:59.000 --> 01:28:02.359
that all the time with myself, who has adhd Okay, today,

1386
01:28:02.960 --> 01:28:05.279
we're going to clean the kitchen first. We're going to

1387
01:28:05.319 --> 01:28:07.319
clean out the fridge and take a break and move

1388
01:28:07.399 --> 01:28:14.039
to the distance, et cetera. And it helps him understands

1389
01:28:14.119 --> 01:28:16.520
we have a test. And or he understands we have

1390
01:28:16.560 --> 01:28:20.359
a test, we will break it down to the steps. Yeah,

1391
01:28:20.439 --> 01:28:23.720
like you know what I'm saying, what's that word carp car, car,

1392
01:28:24.239 --> 01:28:28.359
carp what's that word carpentized whatever.

1393
01:28:29.079 --> 01:28:33.079
Car whatever?

1394
01:28:33.119 --> 01:28:36.800
You know what I mean, that's the word that compartmentalize

1395
01:28:36.880 --> 01:28:41.159
my bad compartmentalize it. Yeah, like like yo, you know

1396
01:28:41.239 --> 01:28:43.039
what like that like you know what, Like that does

1397
01:28:43.159 --> 01:28:46.199
help a lot too, you know, like it really does,

1398
01:28:46.359 --> 01:28:49.319
like like with me, like I have backgrounds, so you know,

1399
01:28:51.079 --> 01:28:53.439
like to do the dish. You know what I'm saying,

1400
01:28:53.439 --> 01:28:55.600
I can't do the dis is straight, you know, like

1401
01:28:56.039 --> 01:28:57.760
I'll look at what I have to attack first. I'm like,

1402
01:28:57.760 --> 01:29:00.039
all right, yo, you know what I'm I'm a do

1403
01:29:00.159 --> 01:29:03.000
the small dishes first. You know what I'm saying, Sit down,

1404
01:29:03.199 --> 01:29:07.359
relax real quick, fifteen minutes or whatever to go knock

1405
01:29:07.399 --> 01:29:10.039
out the front pans and whatever pants is left and

1406
01:29:10.079 --> 01:29:13.359
all that stuff. Sit down, relax, then go you know,

1407
01:29:13.760 --> 01:29:18.479
like I have to compartment Yeah yeah, yeah, you know

1408
01:29:18.560 --> 01:29:20.880
what I have to do with an episode? How about that?

1409
01:29:21.039 --> 01:29:25.359
You know what I'm saying, Like you know, like like

1410
01:29:25.439 --> 01:29:27.159
that's what I have to do. And yo, you know what,

1411
01:29:27.640 --> 01:29:29.520
and even though like it takes longer, like you know

1412
01:29:29.520 --> 01:29:35.159
what I'm saying it actually works, you know, so mm hmm.

1413
01:29:36.720 --> 01:29:40.680
Yeah, because when things get overwhelming, that's when you shut down.

1414
01:29:41.000 --> 01:29:46.039
And so you have to make it small enough that

1415
01:29:46.479 --> 01:29:49.520
whatever the task is, whatever, whatever it is, you got

1416
01:29:49.600 --> 01:29:53.439
to make it small enough that you feel capable of

1417
01:29:53.600 --> 01:29:56.800
doing it and over time it'll grow.

1418
01:29:59.039 --> 01:30:04.000
Yeah, what you know, like then you know what I'm saying,

1419
01:30:04.039 --> 01:30:07.720
Like like you know what, Like it's like a boxing match,

1420
01:30:07.760 --> 01:30:09.920
you know what I'm saying, Like put it in the

1421
01:30:10.039 --> 01:30:12.079
rounds if you will. You know what I'm saying. There's

1422
01:30:12.119 --> 01:30:16.000
three there's a three round, three minutes every round. You

1423
01:30:16.079 --> 01:30:19.279
know what I mean, Like do something for three minutes, stop,

1424
01:30:19.359 --> 01:30:21.840
take a breathing, you know what I'm saying. Then keep going.

1425
01:30:21.880 --> 01:30:26.760
You know what I'm saying. Twelve round fight or you

1426
01:30:26.840 --> 01:30:29.039
could be like burning back and say three minutes. That's

1427
01:30:29.039 --> 01:30:34.000
so I'm giving you all the fuck's I got. I mean, yeah,

1428
01:30:34.039 --> 01:30:37.760
you know what I mean. But do you guys want

1429
01:30:37.760 --> 01:30:42.159
to hear something funny? Lighten up the mood real quick?

1430
01:30:42.159 --> 01:30:45.640
All right? So my daughter she's in a Google guy

1431
01:30:45.680 --> 01:30:48.960
that phase, right, So I put her in a playpen

1432
01:30:49.079 --> 01:30:50.800
or whatever because she was crying. You know what I'm saying.

1433
01:30:50.840 --> 01:30:53.640
From from learning from trying to learn her to walk.

1434
01:30:54.560 --> 01:30:56.239
I put her in a playpen, right, I go get

1435
01:30:56.239 --> 01:30:59.000
her milk bottle. I lay her down in the playpant.

1436
01:30:59.119 --> 01:31:03.119
She gets up and she starts, no, no, no no.

1437
01:31:03.680 --> 01:31:06.680
I'm like, okay, you know, like pouring them, you know

1438
01:31:06.680 --> 01:31:08.239
what I'm saying, washing out the bottle. And she's looking

1439
01:31:08.279 --> 01:31:10.520
at me that that that that you know what I'm

1440
01:31:10.560 --> 01:31:12.439
saying like and I'm here thinking that, oh, she's a

1441
01:31:12.479 --> 01:31:15.920
Google guy guy. I'm like yeah, mom, yeah, mama. And

1442
01:31:16.039 --> 01:31:19.159
then all of a sudden, she raises her voice like

1443
01:31:19.479 --> 01:31:23.600
the right, and I'm like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.

1444
01:31:24.119 --> 01:31:26.159
And then like you know, like she's holding onto the

1445
01:31:26.199 --> 01:31:28.960
playpen right from the inside. And then like she slams

1446
01:31:28.960 --> 01:31:30.960
her hand on the playpen like you know, getting all

1447
01:31:31.000 --> 01:31:33.960
loud yelling at me. But this Google guy got ship

1448
01:31:34.920 --> 01:31:38.239
and she was like I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1449
01:31:38.319 --> 01:31:40.640
I'm like, yo, who you talking to? Like you know,

1450
01:31:40.680 --> 01:31:42.600
the milk came out and you know, microwave or whatever.

1451
01:31:42.720 --> 01:31:48.359
She's like never right, So like I give it a bottle, right,

1452
01:31:48.680 --> 01:31:51.039
and she's looking at me her she's like she lays down,

1453
01:31:51.119 --> 01:31:53.319
She's like and then she starts drinking a bottle. No

1454
01:31:53.439 --> 01:31:56.000
more than like five minutes later, she's knocked out. I'm like, yo,

1455
01:31:57.279 --> 01:31:58.560
and I sat down, like, you know what I'm saying.

1456
01:31:58.560 --> 01:32:00.359
Looking at it, I'm like, did you just curssed me

1457
01:32:00.399 --> 01:32:02.680
on a baby language? Yeah? Like what I do to you?

1458
01:32:03.279 --> 01:32:03.800
You know what I'm saying?

1459
01:32:03.920 --> 01:32:04.239
Why is it?

1460
01:32:04.319 --> 01:32:06.000
Fuck me? You know what I'm saying. Like, I was like,

1461
01:32:06.039 --> 01:32:07.399
what the fuck fuck me?

1462
01:32:07.520 --> 01:32:08.239
What do I do to you?

1463
01:32:09.159 --> 01:32:11.279
You know? Like, but it was just cute, you know

1464
01:32:11.279 --> 01:32:13.640
what I'm saying, because like even though you know, like

1465
01:32:13.760 --> 01:32:15.520
my daughter was like yelling at me and stuff, like

1466
01:32:16.039 --> 01:32:17.720
the way she did it was like a politician, you

1467
01:32:17.760 --> 01:32:19.680
know what I'm saying, stand at the podium, slamming her hand,

1468
01:32:19.800 --> 01:32:22.319
talking about we're gonna win the election, one of those

1469
01:32:23.399 --> 01:32:25.880
you know, That's what she looked like, you know, like

1470
01:32:26.760 --> 01:32:30.880
and then a couple of days ago, yeah, for real.

1471
01:32:31.000 --> 01:32:33.079
And then and then a couple of days ago, go

1472
01:32:33.279 --> 01:32:35.760
change a diaper. Right, So, as I'm changing a diaper,

1473
01:32:36.560 --> 01:32:43.560
I hear the art and bubbly sound and I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no,

1474
01:32:44.039 --> 01:32:45.239
you know what I'm saying. So I pick her up

1475
01:32:45.279 --> 01:32:47.720
because like, you know, I don't want you know what

1476
01:32:47.720 --> 01:32:52.279
I'm saying, like, you know whatever, and then I feel

1477
01:32:53.399 --> 01:32:59.000
chocolate and all my fingertips. I'm like no, I'm like no,

1478
01:33:01.119 --> 01:33:02.399
So you know I have to throw the whole baby

1479
01:33:02.439 --> 01:33:05.239
away and start all over, right, you know what I'm saying.

1480
01:33:05.319 --> 01:33:07.239
Ran to the top she went, and I was like, nah, man,

1481
01:33:07.880 --> 01:33:10.479
and she's there laughing or whatever. I'm like, yeah, you're disrespectful.

1482
01:33:10.520 --> 01:33:16.119
You know that. I'm like, damn you Like, yeah, you

1483
01:33:16.239 --> 01:33:20.880
disrespectful as hell, man. But like you know, like which

1484
01:33:21.399 --> 01:33:23.000
the only reason, you know what I'm saying, The fact

1485
01:33:23.039 --> 01:33:27.239
that I could talk about what my daughter's doing now

1486
01:33:28.880 --> 01:33:31.239
makes me so much more appreciative of why I didn't

1487
01:33:31.840 --> 01:33:37.720
do myself in you know, it's stuff like this, see,

1488
01:33:37.880 --> 01:33:42.039
so everything intertwines with each other, you know, like you

1489
01:33:42.319 --> 01:33:44.159
know what I'm saying, Like like I said, you know,

1490
01:33:44.319 --> 01:33:45.680
like you have to fake it till you make it

1491
01:33:45.760 --> 01:33:49.520
bro like like you know, like there's so much you

1492
01:33:49.520 --> 01:33:53.439
know what I'm saying, Like like you know what, even

1493
01:33:54.359 --> 01:33:57.159
even a murderer that's sitting in jail right now, there's

1494
01:33:57.159 --> 01:33:59.680
something positive about that person. He just made a mistake,

1495
01:34:00.000 --> 01:34:07.840
you know what I mean, Like you know this positive

1496
01:34:07.880 --> 01:34:10.560
you know what I'm saying. That's positive of anybody, you

1497
01:34:10.600 --> 01:34:18.000
know what I'm saying, even Magic Johnson anyway, now, but

1498
01:34:18.720 --> 01:34:21.079
all jo socide though, like like you know what I'm saying,

1499
01:34:21.119 --> 01:34:27.439
Like this positivity in everybody man, and like the hardest thing.

1500
01:34:27.640 --> 01:34:31.600
You're the hardest, yo, Yo. You know what makes things

1501
01:34:31.680 --> 01:34:32.079
so hard?

1502
01:34:32.159 --> 01:34:32.279
Yo?

1503
01:34:32.520 --> 01:34:33.720
Like I said, you know what I'm saying, it would

1504
01:34:33.720 --> 01:34:35.640
be a superficial ship, you know what I'm saying, because

1505
01:34:36.000 --> 01:34:38.760
us humans, like you know what I'm saying, Like the

1506
01:34:38.880 --> 01:34:40.760
majority of us are in vain is hell and we

1507
01:34:40.840 --> 01:34:44.880
don't appreciate the small things, you know what I mean,

1508
01:34:44.960 --> 01:34:47.640
Like we don't like yo, you know what we do

1509
01:34:47.800 --> 01:34:50.760
not you know what I'm saying, appreciate nothing. We always

1510
01:34:50.840 --> 01:34:55.039
want more because that's human nature. Yeah, you know, like

1511
01:34:56.439 --> 01:34:59.159
like like and yo, you know what and my and

1512
01:34:59.319 --> 01:35:02.039
my opinion, you know what I'm saying, my humble opinion,

1513
01:35:03.119 --> 01:35:05.800
that's probably that's one of the factors that makes people

1514
01:35:05.880 --> 01:35:07.760
so depressed, you know what I'm saying, because they want

1515
01:35:07.880 --> 01:35:09.600
more and they can't. They don't know how to attain that,

1516
01:35:11.159 --> 01:35:13.039
you know, instead of being happy with what they have,

1517
01:35:14.399 --> 01:35:17.279
you know, like you look at your peers like oh wow,

1518
01:35:17.399 --> 01:35:19.359
this dude got a house in a pool, and here

1519
01:35:19.439 --> 01:35:21.960
I am a broke vampire living Inception eight. You know

1520
01:35:22.000 --> 01:35:26.800
what I'm saying, Like, you know, like like no, but

1521
01:35:26.880 --> 01:35:29.079
I'm serious though, Like we're looking at you know what

1522
01:35:29.079 --> 01:35:31.399
I'm saying, We're looking at the next person stuff. Oh

1523
01:35:31.439 --> 01:35:33.279
they got a family, you know what I'm saying. And

1524
01:35:33.399 --> 01:35:36.479
social media. Social media does not help in the situation,

1525
01:35:38.239 --> 01:35:40.079
you know when you know what I'm saying. When the

1526
01:35:40.159 --> 01:35:42.640
fact that you know what I'm saying, Like, like I said,

1527
01:35:42.680 --> 01:35:43.960
you know what, like a lot of people are so

1528
01:35:44.079 --> 01:35:45.439
vaint like you know what I'm saying. They found these

1529
01:35:45.479 --> 01:35:48.399
people whenever was like, oh you living a lifestyle? Do

1530
01:35:48.520 --> 01:35:50.079
you know what I'm saying, Like the you know, half

1531
01:35:50.079 --> 01:35:52.199
the stuff that they be posed with is rented. They don't.

1532
01:35:52.239 --> 01:35:53.319
You know what I'm saying, a lot of people not

1533
01:35:53.680 --> 01:35:55.279
catching up, you know what I'm saying, catching up on

1534
01:35:55.359 --> 01:36:00.920
that you know, like and we start you know what

1535
01:36:00.920 --> 01:36:02.960
I'm saying, like like like most s are like you

1536
01:36:03.000 --> 01:36:05.640
know what I'm saying, wishing they could be somebody else

1537
01:36:05.680 --> 01:36:12.079
instead of like trying to be more themselves, right, you know,

1538
01:36:12.279 --> 01:36:17.000
so I mean, you know you know what to you

1539
01:36:17.039 --> 01:36:19.079
know what I'm saying, to love yourself, you have to

1540
01:36:19.159 --> 01:36:24.520
know yourself. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, and

1541
01:36:24.640 --> 01:36:26.079
to know yourself, you know what I'm saying, Like you

1542
01:36:26.199 --> 01:36:27.359
have to go and you know what I'm saying, like

1543
01:36:28.479 --> 01:36:30.680
like you can't just like love the good things about

1544
01:36:30.680 --> 01:36:34.880
your not love the dark things about you. You know

1545
01:36:34.880 --> 01:36:38.680
what I'm saying, You have to unconditionally love yourself. You

1546
01:36:38.760 --> 01:36:40.359
know even you know what I'm saying. Like me, I

1547
01:36:40.479 --> 01:36:43.079
accept that I have a dark sense of human you

1548
01:36:43.119 --> 01:36:46.920
know what I'm saying. I accept that. You know it's

1549
01:36:46.960 --> 01:36:49.359
my humor. You know what I'm saying. My humor is

1550
01:36:49.399 --> 01:36:53.239
not for everybody, and sometimes you know what I'm saying, Like,

1551
01:36:53.359 --> 01:36:55.640
my humor gets me in a lot of trouble, right,

1552
01:36:56.680 --> 01:36:57.640
but oh does it?

1553
01:36:58.000 --> 01:36:58.239
Does it?

1554
01:36:58.439 --> 01:36:58.720
Really?

1555
01:36:59.319 --> 01:37:01.680
I'm used to get the trouble anyway, so it don't

1556
01:37:01.720 --> 01:37:06.119
matter however, you know what I'm saying, Like, I accept

1557
01:37:06.159 --> 01:37:08.359
that of you know what I'm saying. But the reason

1558
01:37:08.359 --> 01:37:10.000
why I have a dark sense of humors because you

1559
01:37:10.039 --> 01:37:12.680
know what, you know what I'm saying, a lot of

1560
01:37:12.720 --> 01:37:16.600
close people, you know what I'm saying, I've seen some

1561
01:37:16.760 --> 01:37:22.720
people get you know, unlived. So that's you know what

1562
01:37:22.720 --> 01:37:25.600
I'm saying, like my dark sense of human was my

1563
01:37:25.720 --> 01:37:30.279
coping mechanism and how to cope with my PTSD. And

1564
01:37:30.399 --> 01:37:34.920
I understand that now, you know what I mean, Like

1565
01:37:35.039 --> 01:37:38.279
I understand that part now, you know, like I was

1566
01:37:38.319 --> 01:37:40.760
always trying to figure out, like you know, like like

1567
01:37:40.880 --> 01:37:43.560
why do I find it so funny? I find you

1568
01:37:43.600 --> 01:37:45.880
know what I'm saying, I understand it now, Like you

1569
01:37:45.960 --> 01:37:48.880
have to understand yourself and love yourself. Love that part.

1570
01:37:48.880 --> 01:37:50.119
You know what I'm saying. You can't hate that or

1571
01:37:50.119 --> 01:37:52.560
I hate this about myself. You can't do that. That's

1572
01:37:52.640 --> 01:37:54.359
part of you, whether you like it or not. What

1573
01:37:54.520 --> 01:37:58.359
you could try to do is all right now you

1574
01:37:58.520 --> 01:38:02.319
understand it, try to change it, you know, because like

1575
01:38:02.760 --> 01:38:04.359
if you're just gonna let it linger there, then what

1576
01:38:04.399 --> 01:38:05.800
I'm saying, you always gonna be like I hate that

1577
01:38:05.920 --> 01:38:10.960
part about myself, right, I love myself? Do I love

1578
01:38:11.000 --> 01:38:11.600
myself fully?

1579
01:38:12.920 --> 01:38:13.119
Yeah?

1580
01:38:13.159 --> 01:38:13.399
Why not?

1581
01:38:14.680 --> 01:38:16.199
You know what I'm saying, It makes it makes a

1582
01:38:16.239 --> 01:38:20.000
lot of sense. I mean, to be able to function

1583
01:38:20.560 --> 01:38:23.159
within yourself, you got you gotta.

1584
01:38:22.960 --> 01:38:25.279
Love every part, every every part of it, you know

1585
01:38:25.279 --> 01:38:27.600
what I'm saying, every flaw. You gotta love yourself like

1586
01:38:27.640 --> 01:38:29.920
every flaw of it too, not just the good things

1587
01:38:29.960 --> 01:38:36.000
about you, because about it. Just think about it real quick?

1588
01:38:36.039 --> 01:38:36.319
My bad?

1589
01:38:37.640 --> 01:38:38.920
How you know what I'm saying. How can you be

1590
01:38:38.960 --> 01:38:40.640
in a relationship and be like you know what I'm saying,

1591
01:38:40.680 --> 01:38:42.439
I love I love my man or love my girl

1592
01:38:42.560 --> 01:38:45.239
conditionally When you don't unconditionally you love yourself?

1593
01:38:48.840 --> 01:38:51.399
It's a lot do you do? You do you unconditionally

1594
01:38:51.479 --> 01:38:52.119
love yourself?

1595
01:38:53.520 --> 01:38:56.800
I'm working on it, to be honest, to be real

1596
01:38:56.840 --> 01:39:01.560
about it. I'm understanding myself. I'm understanding more. So I'm

1597
01:39:01.600 --> 01:39:03.359
working on more, you know what I'm saying, embracing it

1598
01:39:03.439 --> 01:39:05.640
and trying to change. You know what I'm saying. I

1599
01:39:05.640 --> 01:39:08.399
can't change my past, but I could change how I

1600
01:39:08.520 --> 01:39:09.319
react to certain things.

1601
01:39:09.359 --> 01:39:13.720
Now what's this same?

1602
01:39:19.520 --> 01:39:19.680
Well?

1603
01:39:19.720 --> 01:39:28.439
Thank you? I appreciate that. Thank you? So all right?

1604
01:39:28.520 --> 01:39:31.840
So with that, with that, with that being said, we're

1605
01:39:31.840 --> 01:39:34.000
gonna go around the room real quick with with with

1606
01:39:34.119 --> 01:39:34.520
a question.

1607
01:39:35.199 --> 01:39:37.680
Oh wait, and one more thing, one more thing. No,

1608
01:39:37.800 --> 01:39:39.920
I don't really love myself because I'm still a JEFT fan.

1609
01:39:40.079 --> 01:39:41.960
You know what I'm saying. If I loved myself, you

1610
01:39:41.960 --> 01:39:43.479
know what I'm saying, I will stop being a JEFT fan.

1611
01:39:43.680 --> 01:39:44.279
You know what I'm saying.

1612
01:39:45.359 --> 01:39:46.760
Why are you so me?

1613
01:39:47.800 --> 01:39:50.399
No, I'm serious. I'm serious, man, because like, yo, you

1614
01:39:50.439 --> 01:39:56.520
know what, it doesn't matter, bro, Yo, you know what

1615
01:39:56.920 --> 01:40:00.319
I'm I'm I'm done being a Jets fan. You know

1616
01:40:00.319 --> 01:40:03.039
what I'm saying, like, Yo, hold on, hold on, hold on.

1617
01:40:03.079 --> 01:40:04.399
You know what I'm saying to men? You know what

1618
01:40:04.399 --> 01:40:07.560
I'm saying, Like I've been Yo, you know what I've

1619
01:40:07.560 --> 01:40:09.079
been a JEFT fan for like forty years. You know

1620
01:40:09.079 --> 01:40:11.880
what I'm saying, forty years of this ship. You know

1621
01:40:11.880 --> 01:40:13.399
what I'm saying, Like if I you know what I'm saying,

1622
01:40:13.439 --> 01:40:15.600
like forty years of this ship. You know what I'm saying.

1623
01:40:15.640 --> 01:40:17.079
Like I'm like, Yo, you know what I'm trying to,

1624
01:40:17.159 --> 01:40:20.319
Like you know you know what I'm saying, like, oh

1625
01:40:20.600 --> 01:40:23.600
thank you, Like I'm trying to like you know what

1626
01:40:23.640 --> 01:40:25.920
I'm saying, like like you know what I'm saying, like

1627
01:40:26.000 --> 01:40:27.479
just switch up. You know what I'm saying, because like,

1628
01:40:29.000 --> 01:40:31.399
like the mood feels somber, you know what I mean.

1629
01:40:32.039 --> 01:40:33.319
And I was like I was like just trying to

1630
01:40:33.359 --> 01:40:35.119
switch up a little bit, you know what I mean,

1631
01:40:35.199 --> 01:40:40.560
like lighting it up, you know, like all right, and

1632
01:40:41.960 --> 01:40:44.560
the only reason my bad I'm sorry, only trying to.

1633
01:40:44.600 --> 01:40:46.880
Know you're not. If you were sorry, you'd stop doing it.

1634
01:40:47.840 --> 01:40:50.600
Yo, I have a lot to say, Like I feel

1635
01:40:50.600 --> 01:40:51.359
like I have a lot to say.

1636
01:40:51.439 --> 01:40:55.359
Yo, Well you need to find a somebody to say

1637
01:40:55.399 --> 01:40:55.680
it too.

1638
01:40:58.239 --> 01:41:01.640
Oh that's why we're doing it, m Yeah, because you don't.

1639
01:41:01.479 --> 01:41:05.159
Let nobody else do what needs to be done on

1640
01:41:05.439 --> 01:41:08.880
the show when you can't get this stuff out to

1641
01:41:09.000 --> 01:41:10.239
other people beforehand.

1642
01:41:12.399 --> 01:41:14.239
My bad, sorry about that then.

1643
01:41:18.239 --> 01:41:27.159
No, all right, So with that being said, and don't say,

1644
01:41:29.159 --> 01:41:31.680
don't say all right? So what I want to do

1645
01:41:31.880 --> 01:41:34.399
is really quick. I want to go around the room.

1646
01:41:35.439 --> 01:41:40.760
I want you to give the viewers, really quick, one

1647
01:41:40.880 --> 01:41:44.159
movie they should have watched this week and one track

1648
01:41:44.199 --> 01:41:49.560
they should listen to this week, just to give people,

1649
01:41:50.079 --> 01:41:54.439
you know, something to do. What's this say? Right?

1650
01:41:54.479 --> 01:42:06.159
Man? I love Miss Rachel. I love Miss Rachel. Yo's

1651
01:42:06.199 --> 01:42:06.800
so funny.

1652
01:42:10.439 --> 01:42:13.640
I love this so so so dumb. Give me a

1653
01:42:13.720 --> 01:42:15.359
movie and the track you want you want to.

1654
01:42:15.640 --> 01:42:17.800
Yea, I haven't, Yo, you know what I'm not. I'm

1655
01:42:17.840 --> 01:42:19.199
not even up on like you know what I'm saying.

1656
01:42:19.399 --> 01:42:20.560
Whatever movies came out.

1657
01:42:21.439 --> 01:42:23.159
Just why to give me one track that you want?

1658
01:42:23.239 --> 01:42:24.680
You want everybody to listen to this week.

1659
01:42:27.000 --> 01:42:32.239
I mean I've been rocking that. Wow, I've been old

1660
01:42:32.279 --> 01:42:35.119
schooling it bro like to be honest, like all right,

1661
01:42:35.199 --> 01:42:36.079
trip called Quest.

1662
01:42:35.960 --> 01:42:39.319
Mind Power trip called Quest Mind Power.

1663
01:42:39.880 --> 01:42:42.399
Yeah, like like you know what, Like it's been you

1664
01:42:42.439 --> 01:42:44.079
know what I'm saying like that, that's that's been on

1665
01:42:44.159 --> 01:42:45.600
my my playlist.

1666
01:42:46.319 --> 01:42:49.119
All right, that's what's up. That's what's up Mind Power

1667
01:42:49.359 --> 01:42:50.479
Trip Cord Quest.

1668
01:42:52.920 --> 01:42:56.159
Mm hmmm. All right. Well the movie only because I

1669
01:42:56.319 --> 01:42:59.159
just watched it, dead Pool and Wolverine.

1670
01:43:00.359 --> 01:43:02.479
Movie. That movie was, that movie was.

1671
01:43:05.720 --> 01:43:09.319
And the song the track They're Coming to Get You.

1672
01:43:10.399 --> 01:43:10.760
Yeah, I know.

1673
01:43:13.000 --> 01:43:13.479
What's what.

1674
01:43:15.039 --> 01:43:21.119
I would say. It's a song called Weary Traveler Wow,

1675
01:43:23.600 --> 01:43:26.800
Jordan's Saints Sir see y R.

1676
01:43:28.239 --> 01:43:35.640
Jordan's Saints Sir the Weary Traveler Traveler exact, Wolverine.

1677
01:43:36.840 --> 01:43:38.359
YEP, Deadpool and Wooverine.

1678
01:43:39.520 --> 01:43:42.840
I call that s that Sir s T.

1679
01:43:44.520 --> 01:43:46.000
Space c y R.

1680
01:43:47.039 --> 01:43:52.920
All right, yeah, all right, So my ship is this.

1681
01:43:56.479 --> 01:44:01.199
I know, it's how they seasoned and stuff. And I

1682
01:44:01.359 --> 01:44:04.800
want everybody to and and it might it might sound

1683
01:44:04.800 --> 01:44:06.680
a little a little a little a little crazy, but.

1684
01:44:08.439 --> 01:44:09.520
I went to go see.

1685
01:44:10.960 --> 01:44:18.359
No, I don't want to help no, go I want

1686
01:44:18.439 --> 01:44:20.680
you to try and see Red One.

1687
01:44:23.479 --> 01:44:23.880
It was.

1688
01:44:25.359 --> 01:44:28.680
The Yeah, yeah, it was.

1689
01:44:29.199 --> 01:44:29.479
It was.

1690
01:44:29.680 --> 01:44:37.600
It wasn't bad. It just wasn't great. But it has

1691
01:44:37.680 --> 01:44:41.079
it has it has, it has its moments.

1692
01:44:41.119 --> 01:44:41.560
It was it was.

1693
01:44:41.800 --> 01:44:43.920
I thought it was all right. You know, I am

1694
01:44:43.960 --> 01:44:45.359
with the movies. I go to the movie theater all

1695
01:44:45.359 --> 01:44:52.520
the time. So I give it out of ten, I

1696
01:44:52.600 --> 01:44:57.760
give it about a six five six. But it's good.

1697
01:44:58.279 --> 01:45:01.119
It's good for the kids and it gives them, you know,

1698
01:45:01.279 --> 01:45:02.960
something to watch and everything. And it's a it's a

1699
01:45:03.520 --> 01:45:06.720
holiday film. And as far as the track is concerned,

1700
01:45:07.680 --> 01:45:11.199
I want everybody to go listen to to Be with

1701
01:45:11.399 --> 01:45:13.319
You by Joe Cuba.

1702
01:45:16.279 --> 01:45:16.800
That makes.

1703
01:45:18.920 --> 01:45:22.880
This track is the nineteen sixty something. Joe Cuba is

1704
01:45:23.399 --> 01:45:33.640
one of the first mambo crossover singers from pr that

1705
01:45:34.359 --> 01:45:35.880
that made it in the US.

1706
01:45:36.880 --> 01:45:38.439
So he.

1707
01:45:40.399 --> 01:45:44.880
Started that ship. So it's it's go she read one

1708
01:45:45.279 --> 01:45:51.119
and then Joe Cuba to be with You. That's the track.

1709
01:45:51.960 --> 01:45:57.600
And with all that being said, your final thought, dubs,

1710
01:45:57.800 --> 01:45:58.479
do you have one?

1711
01:46:01.359 --> 01:46:08.319
My final thought? Mm hmm. You know what, I'm gonna

1712
01:46:08.319 --> 01:46:12.119
switch it the movie. I'm gonna add a movie right,

1713
01:46:13.159 --> 01:46:18.159
a Christmas story that's a classic man yeah, you know,

1714
01:46:18.319 --> 01:46:22.920
like because like it's so nostalgic in a way, but

1715
01:46:23.239 --> 01:46:29.159
it is all right. My final thought, sometimes you do

1716
01:46:29.359 --> 01:46:32.039
have to lie to yourself till it sounds true to

1717
01:46:32.159 --> 01:46:34.399
get you know what I'm saying to get you know,

1718
01:46:34.880 --> 01:46:41.159
but wait, wait, no, speak positivity to yourself even though

1719
01:46:41.199 --> 01:46:43.319
it sounds like a lie. But keep speaking until it

1720
01:46:43.399 --> 01:46:47.399
sounds true, because then they will feel true. Because like

1721
01:46:48.640 --> 01:46:51.000
words have a lot of effect, you know what I'm saying,

1722
01:46:51.479 --> 01:46:55.199
your words, Use them carefully, especially when it comes to yourself,

1723
01:46:56.560 --> 01:46:59.399
you know, like always, you know, always walk with your

1724
01:46:59.439 --> 01:47:01.560
head on high even though you can't do it, but

1725
01:47:02.279 --> 01:47:02.479
do it.

1726
01:47:03.119 --> 01:47:04.760
Keep And.

1727
01:47:06.520 --> 01:47:09.119
I like to apologize for like you know, like you

1728
01:47:09.159 --> 01:47:12.880
know what I'm saying, Like today I'm a little you

1729
01:47:12.880 --> 01:47:14.439
know what I'm saying, Like I'm a little emotional, and

1730
01:47:15.880 --> 01:47:16.239
you know, like.

1731
01:47:17.840 --> 01:47:20.079
Don't don't don't apologize for being the you know.

1732
01:47:20.079 --> 01:47:23.560
What I'm saying, because like, yeah, what are you apologizing for?

1733
01:47:24.439 --> 01:47:27.840
Because like that's why, like you know what I'm saying,

1734
01:47:27.880 --> 01:47:29.520
Like I just like you know what I'm saying, like

1735
01:47:29.760 --> 01:47:32.399
just coming out and the saying things because like Chris

1736
01:47:32.680 --> 01:47:37.000
is like my brother's favorite holiday and since passed away,

1737
01:47:37.079 --> 01:47:39.520
like I hated it phenomen a transition where like I'm

1738
01:47:39.560 --> 01:47:42.399
being forced to love it again, and I probably will

1739
01:47:43.760 --> 01:47:46.680
because you know, I have a little one now and

1740
01:47:47.000 --> 01:47:49.399
like the only thing that hurts is that, you know,

1741
01:47:49.640 --> 01:47:52.359
like I whis my brother was hit me, my niece,

1742
01:47:52.800 --> 01:47:55.680
my daughter. I mean, and that's all I kept on

1743
01:47:55.760 --> 01:47:56.840
thinking about all day today.

1744
01:47:57.600 --> 01:48:02.399
M And that's okay though, But when you got to

1745
01:48:02.680 --> 01:48:04.079
step on somebody.

1746
01:48:03.800 --> 01:48:08.600
To say it my bad, that's like like, like you

1747
01:48:08.680 --> 01:48:10.600
know what, I just you know what I'm saying. I

1748
01:48:10.720 --> 01:48:13.600
wasn't trying to like you know, like I was fighting,

1749
01:48:13.800 --> 01:48:16.319
like like all through off the show is flying my

1750
01:48:16.439 --> 01:48:20.199
emotion man, because like, but that's what.

1751
01:48:20.239 --> 01:48:20.680
We're here for.

1752
01:48:20.800 --> 01:48:22.840
I just want to I just want to, absolutely I

1753
01:48:22.920 --> 01:48:24.800
can't you know what I'm saying, Like like like yo,

1754
01:48:24.880 --> 01:48:27.920
you know what it's like, I just you know what

1755
01:48:27.960 --> 01:48:29.800
I'm saying, Like I just wish my brother was hitting you.

1756
01:48:29.800 --> 01:48:31.600
What I'm saying my brother was my brother would loved

1757
01:48:31.680 --> 01:48:37.960
the hell out my daughter, and like you know, like

1758
01:48:38.279 --> 01:48:40.239
my daughter is not going to know how much of

1759
01:48:40.279 --> 01:48:41.520
an awesome uncle she had.

1760
01:48:42.359 --> 01:48:47.720
Not true. You said that you are getting closer with

1761
01:48:47.840 --> 01:48:49.960
your faith and you're trying to do this well, right,

1762
01:48:51.000 --> 01:48:54.239
don't ever doubt that. Number one, He is with her

1763
01:48:54.359 --> 01:48:57.760
all the time. He is there in your apartment right now,

1764
01:48:59.039 --> 01:49:03.199
and as long as you keep him alive for her,

1765
01:49:03.960 --> 01:49:10.079
she will know him. My daughters have never met my mother,

1766
01:49:10.840 --> 01:49:16.239
and that's their grandmother, but they know everything there is

1767
01:49:16.399 --> 01:49:18.960
to know about her. They know what she looks like,

1768
01:49:19.119 --> 01:49:22.840
they know what she would say, because we are the

1769
01:49:22.960 --> 01:49:26.000
ones that have to keep them alive for the people

1770
01:49:26.039 --> 01:49:31.680
who didn't know them. Yeah, my daughter will remind me

1771
01:49:32.319 --> 01:49:37.159
on their birthdays, on the days they die, she'll remind me, Mommy,

1772
01:49:37.760 --> 01:49:42.399
did you light the candle? Mommy, did you put the cupcake? Mommy,

1773
01:49:42.479 --> 01:49:45.039
did you do this? Did you do that? Like we're

1774
01:49:45.119 --> 01:49:47.840
the ones that can keep them alive.

1775
01:49:49.880 --> 01:49:55.119
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, you know what, like

1776
01:49:55.520 --> 01:49:57.640
my daughter, like my brother's name, you know what I'm

1777
01:49:57.640 --> 01:50:01.319
saying was Carr, So like my daughter has her middle

1778
01:50:01.319 --> 01:50:02.960
you know what I'm saying, his name as a middle name.

1779
01:50:03.720 --> 01:50:05.560
M hmm, Well, reminder of that.

1780
01:50:05.800 --> 01:50:09.000
Let her know that, oh, absolutely all the time, you know,

1781
01:50:09.159 --> 01:50:13.720
like it was you know, like it's like it's like

1782
01:50:13.720 --> 01:50:17.119
you know what I'm saying, Like like like before twenty eighteen,

1783
01:50:17.119 --> 01:50:18.800
you know what I'm saying, Like holidays, I used to

1784
01:50:18.800 --> 01:50:20.680
be like, I'm just you know, like I'm gonna go

1785
01:50:20.720 --> 01:50:22.399
pick up my brother, bring him to my house, you

1786
01:50:22.439 --> 01:50:25.039
know what I'm saying. And it's like after twenty eighteen,

1787
01:50:25.119 --> 01:50:28.600
it was like and whatever with these holidays, man, I

1788
01:50:28.720 --> 01:50:31.039
just wanted to be over with, you know, because like

1789
01:50:31.119 --> 01:50:32.439
it was his favorite holiday.

1790
01:50:33.119 --> 01:50:35.039
Now what you gotta do is you gotta look at it,

1791
01:50:35.560 --> 01:50:38.760
like you said, yeah, now that the baby's head, you

1792
01:50:38.840 --> 01:50:40.000
gotta you know what I mean.

1793
01:50:40.840 --> 01:50:43.920
Well, it was a holiday so celebrated the way.

1794
01:50:43.840 --> 01:50:49.039
He would celebrate, right, absolutely, exactly exactly, that's exactly what

1795
01:50:49.439 --> 01:50:53.199
I don't know exactly what she said. It was his

1796
01:50:53.279 --> 01:50:56.640
favorite holiday, celebrated the way he would like to have

1797
01:50:56.800 --> 01:50:59.520
it celebrated. And and that's that. That's that's a great

1798
01:51:00.239 --> 01:51:04.359
way to keep his memory alive. I mean, celebrate it

1799
01:51:04.439 --> 01:51:09.720
the way he he loved it. Man, Like, that's that's

1800
01:51:09.760 --> 01:51:10.119
a great.

1801
01:51:12.000 --> 01:51:15.159
Yeah. Like I I have so much more than we

1802
01:51:15.399 --> 01:51:19.960
had growing up, right, But that little crystal nativity set,

1803
01:51:20.920 --> 01:51:26.560
I still put that out on the holiday, and I

1804
01:51:26.720 --> 01:51:30.000
allow my daughter to do the honor of that because

1805
01:51:30.159 --> 01:51:35.800
I keep that as as her thing to bring my

1806
01:51:35.920 --> 01:51:40.920
mother into it. You know, because especially Christmas, that was man,

1807
01:51:41.039 --> 01:51:45.600
that woman. I even go out, I even go out

1808
01:51:45.640 --> 01:51:53.279
and buy the old fashioned candy, like the ribbon candy. Yeah,

1809
01:51:53.319 --> 01:51:55.960
the peanut butter filled a hard candy.

1810
01:51:57.279 --> 01:51:58.319
Peanut butter fills ship.

1811
01:51:58.479 --> 01:52:02.479
No, but it was hard. It wasn't it's not like

1812
01:52:02.640 --> 01:52:07.399
the soft peanut butter. But it's like old fashioned candy

1813
01:52:07.479 --> 01:52:11.119
that's hard to find. But during the Christmas time, I

1814
01:52:11.319 --> 01:52:14.439
will find it and I put it out for my daughter.

1815
01:52:15.239 --> 01:52:21.640
The question. Yeah, the hard cookies that come in on

1816
01:52:21.880 --> 01:52:25.199
that that metal the metal round thing, yo.

1817
01:52:25.520 --> 01:52:29.640
Yeah, the butter cookies, the butter cookies.

1818
01:52:29.479 --> 01:52:32.439
Yeah, yeah, they come like all favor and all that stuff.

1819
01:52:33.159 --> 01:52:37.359
Yeah. And my mom started this thing when we were young.

1820
01:52:38.520 --> 01:52:41.640
We didn't really have the resources to make like cookies

1821
01:52:41.720 --> 01:52:45.840
for Santa whatever. My mom would go buy a package

1822
01:52:46.039 --> 01:52:50.560
of peanut eminems and put them in a bowl and

1823
01:52:51.079 --> 01:52:55.359
leave them for Santa and the reindeer. Now it was

1824
01:52:55.439 --> 01:52:58.880
the silliest thing, but I still do that. We put

1825
01:52:58.960 --> 01:53:03.520
out a thing of peanut eminem's and there's always a

1826
01:53:03.640 --> 01:53:05.520
handful taken out in the morning time.

1827
01:53:06.800 --> 01:53:08.479
I'll tell you what, though, you can't give rein the

1828
01:53:08.479 --> 01:53:10.039
your peanut emmins the choke.

1829
01:53:11.359 --> 01:53:16.960
You know what. Hush you now, they don't have diarrheas.

1830
01:53:19.960 --> 01:53:22.640
But you know, yo, you know what as a kid,

1831
01:53:22.720 --> 01:53:24.640
you know what I'm saying, like like a memory came in.

1832
01:53:24.680 --> 01:53:27.520
As a kid, I remember asking my mom, right, you know,

1833
01:53:27.640 --> 01:53:29.279
because like you know, like my mom and my dad

1834
01:53:29.359 --> 01:53:30.840
used to tell us that sign used to come down

1835
01:53:30.880 --> 01:53:32.960
to chimney or whatever. I was like, wait a minute,

1836
01:53:33.680 --> 01:53:36.600
we ain't got no chimney. How does he come in?

1837
01:53:37.560 --> 01:53:40.479
You know? Like like like I remember asking my mom

1838
01:53:40.600 --> 01:53:42.720
that because you know, I would make.

1839
01:53:42.640 --> 01:53:48.359
One you know that paper that looks like she would

1840
01:53:48.439 --> 01:53:51.640
do that and then she would cut out black construction

1841
01:53:51.800 --> 01:53:57.239
paper and then like like and she would actually make

1842
01:53:57.479 --> 01:53:59.239
fake a fake one on the wall.

1843
01:54:00.560 --> 01:54:02.439
Good. Yeah, and you can tell a kid, you could

1844
01:54:02.439 --> 01:54:04.600
tell a kid listen, this is where we have to

1845
01:54:04.680 --> 01:54:10.840
put this here. Yeah, exactly exactly. So there you go,

1846
01:54:11.079 --> 01:54:14.079
Dougs that that's that's your job.

1847
01:54:14.199 --> 01:54:14.279
Bro.

1848
01:54:15.119 --> 01:54:20.479
Live Christmas the way your brother always loved it. Bro,

1849
01:54:21.119 --> 01:54:25.199
that's a great way to to to keep his memory alive. Man,

1850
01:54:25.680 --> 01:54:28.960
No more that being depressed and being down and being

1851
01:54:29.079 --> 01:54:33.439
you know now you know because Doc Thought suggested that's

1852
01:54:33.479 --> 01:54:40.720
a prescription, go ahead, and very prescription to go ahead

1853
01:54:41.199 --> 01:54:43.920
and love the holiday again, because that's what your brother loved.

1854
01:54:44.800 --> 01:54:46.800
He loved it, and that's what you gotta.

1855
01:54:46.560 --> 01:54:49.560
Do, is believe it or not. When we stay in

1856
01:54:49.680 --> 01:54:53.399
that place, that's what we're teaching our kids, that they

1857
01:54:53.680 --> 01:54:58.800
don't need to love the holiday just because something bad

1858
01:54:58.920 --> 01:54:59.439
happened to you.

1859
01:55:01.119 --> 01:55:01.279
You know.

1860
01:55:02.159 --> 01:55:02.399
Yeah.

1861
01:55:02.600 --> 01:55:06.479
Sometimes sometimes our kids and they don't realize it, they

1862
01:55:06.560 --> 01:55:09.600
will save us from some of the darkest places.

1863
01:55:11.880 --> 01:55:15.039
No, I don't, yo, you know what absolutely you know

1864
01:55:15.079 --> 01:55:18.960
what I'm saying, like absolutely, Like it's a story. But

1865
01:55:19.239 --> 01:55:21.039
but you know what I'm saying, I'll say it next.

1866
01:55:20.920 --> 01:55:27.720
Week, you know, Like, so, so loo, what's your final

1867
01:55:27.800 --> 01:55:28.560
thought of the evening?

1868
01:55:29.439 --> 01:55:29.560
Uh?

1869
01:55:29.760 --> 01:55:32.239
My final thought of the evening is when you feel sad,

1870
01:55:32.439 --> 01:55:34.119
go find a Yoda, a baby Yoda.

1871
01:55:34.199 --> 01:55:34.359
Meme.

1872
01:55:36.439 --> 01:55:49.760
Shut up, bro, that's funny. That's fucking hilarious. Actually, yeah,

1873
01:55:49.960 --> 01:55:50.359
you know, like.

1874
01:55:51.119 --> 01:55:54.600
Like one more thing, man, So I don't know how

1875
01:55:54.640 --> 01:55:57.520
to do my daughter's hair right because it's curly, right,

1876
01:55:57.720 --> 01:56:01.000
So yo, yo, you know, but first off, you know

1877
01:56:01.000 --> 01:56:04.199
what I'm saying, I'll be trying to like, you know,

1878
01:56:04.319 --> 01:56:07.399
have it like that I do. I watch YouTube videos.

1879
01:56:07.439 --> 01:56:09.039
So I was like, yo, bet you know what I'm saying.

1880
01:56:09.159 --> 01:56:11.279
Video so so I was like, bet, so you know

1881
01:56:11.279 --> 01:56:12.760
what I'm saying. I'm here combing her hair and the

1882
01:56:12.880 --> 01:56:15.079
line be straight, but like you know, she'd be moving

1883
01:56:15.159 --> 01:56:16.600
so much and whatever. Like, so I was trying to

1884
01:56:16.640 --> 01:56:18.319
do like, you know, like put like little ponytails on

1885
01:56:18.399 --> 01:56:21.159
top of whatever. Right, one pony tail was like ninety

1886
01:56:21.199 --> 01:56:22.920
degrees off from the other one. I was like, guy,

1887
01:56:23.760 --> 01:56:25.000
so you know what I'm saying. I took out the

1888
01:56:25.039 --> 01:56:27.439
rubber bands whatever. I was like, yeah, you're just going

1889
01:56:27.479 --> 01:56:31.199
out looking all curly and whatever. Right, you know what

1890
01:56:31.359 --> 01:56:33.439
she looks like when her hair is all curly. You

1891
01:56:33.520 --> 01:56:39.159
ever seen Carlito's way Sean Sean Penn's character Client fel Right,

1892
01:56:40.680 --> 01:56:42.600
So I sit it down whatever in a stroller. She's

1893
01:56:42.600 --> 01:56:44.479
looking at me. I'm like, I'm like, yo, you know

1894
01:56:44.560 --> 01:56:46.880
what you're like? You know, I'm here just talking shit

1895
01:56:46.960 --> 01:56:48.720
to my daughter, like ad that, like, you look like

1896
01:56:48.800 --> 01:56:50.960
Client from carl Ethle's but you look like a Jewish

1897
01:56:51.039 --> 01:56:55.479
defense lawyer, you know, because her hair is like, oh

1898
01:56:55.640 --> 01:56:58.720
curly and ship right. Yeah, Like that's.

1899
01:56:58.640 --> 01:57:04.079
Crazy, yo, house, I looking like a defense lawyer Jewish

1900
01:57:04.159 --> 01:57:07.720
wanted to know less that's crazy. So anyway, so anyway,

1901
01:57:08.079 --> 01:57:10.239
all right, so so so my final thought of the

1902
01:57:10.279 --> 01:57:17.720
evening is this, despite what you go through, always remember

1903
01:57:19.159 --> 01:57:26.199
if you fail, fail forward, which means take what you

1904
01:57:26.359 --> 01:57:31.600
learn from that failure, apply it, try again, don't stop.

1905
01:57:33.119 --> 01:57:38.920
Always continue moving forward. I'm big. Hold on, that's Lady G,

1906
01:57:39.920 --> 01:57:45.159
that's Doubs down. This is this Man Heard podcast, and

1907
01:57:46.159 --> 01:57:50.039
we'll be here next week for our pre Thanksgiving Shenanigan episode.

1908
01:57:54.720 --> 01:57:57.239
I don't know, but we'll figure it out. With that

1909
01:57:57.399 --> 01:57:59.760
being said, always keep in mind that at some point

1910
01:58:00.640 --> 01:58:04.520
this my my my heart. Good night, everybody, thanks for

1911
01:58:04.600 --> 01:58:07.039
coming by. He's he's

1912
01:58:08.840 --> 01:58:09.079
Later